GOANNA2's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=GOANNA2 GOANNA2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ JUST JOKING... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6493868 A trucker's wife sees three parrots for sale: $170, $150 & $10. <BR> She asks why the last parrot is so cheap. <BR> The pet store owner said it used to live in a brothel. <BR> The woman laughs and buys it. She gets the parrot home and <BR> the parrot squawks, "Wow, a new brothel!" <BR> The woman laughs. When her two daughters come home, the <BR> parrot squawks, "Dang!!! Two new gals!" <BR> They all laugh! <BR> When her husband walks in the door the parrots squawks, <BR> "Hi there Joe, so hap... Wed, 23 May 2018 05:55:59 EST JUST JOKING... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6491257 My mother, a master of guilt trips, showed me a photo of herself waiting <BR> by a phone that never rings. <BR> <BR> "Mom, I call all the time," I said. "If you had voicemail, you'd know." <BR> Soon after, my brother installed it for her. <BR> <BR> When I called the next time, I got her message : <BR> "If you are a salesperson, press one. <BR> If you're a friend, press two. <BR> If you're my daughter who never calls, press 000 because the shock <BR> will probably give me a heart attack" <... Mon, 14 May 2018 06:53:10 EST Just for laughs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6487519 Tom and Jess got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, <BR> Jess immediately phoned her mother. <BR> <BR> "How was the honeymoon, dear?" her mother asked. <BR> <BR> "OH, mum," Jess replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful - so romantic." <BR> <BR> Then Jess burst into tears. "But as soon as we returned home <BR> Tom started using the most ghastly language... saying things I've never heard before! <BR> I mean, all these awful four-letter words! You've got to come get me and... Tue, 1 May 2018 04:55:46 EST JUST JOKING... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6485400 So there's this magician working on a small cruise ship. <BR> He's been doing his routines every night for a year or two now. <BR> <BR> The audiences appreciate him and they change over often enough <BR> that he doesn't have to worry too much about new tricks. However, <BR> there's this parrot which sits in the back row and watches him night after night, <BR> year after year. Finally the parrot figures out how the tricks work and starts <BR> giving it away to the audience. He does things li... Tue, 24 Apr 2018 07:16:25 EST Just joking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6481625 Two old men suffering from short term memory loss were sitting on the steps <BR> of the old-age home when an ice crean van drove past. <BR> <BR> "Gee, said the first old codger, "I"d love an ice cream right now." <BR> <BR> "Would you like me to get you one?" <BR> <BR> "Are you joking?" the first old codger snapped back, "You'd forget <BR> my order straight away." <BR> <BR> "No I wouldn't," replied the second. <BR> <BR> "All right then," said his mate, "I want a double cone with mint ice ... Thu, 12 Apr 2018 05:58:50 EST Just for laughs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6476529 I bumped into an old school friend at the store today. <BR> He started showing off, talking about his well paid job <BR> and expensive sports cars. <BR> <BR> Then he pulled out his phone and showed me a photo of his wife <BR> and said,"She's beautiful, isn't she?" <BR> <BR> I said,, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend." <BR> <BR> He said, "Why, is she a stunner?" <BR> <BR> I said, "No, she's an optometrist." <BR> Tue, 27 Mar 2018 22:12:27 EST Just joking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6475595 A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. <BR> <BR> "Is it true the the medication you prescribed has to be taken <BR> for the rest of my life?" <BR> <BR> :Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor replied. There was a moment of silence <BR> before the senior lady replied. <BR> <BR> "I'm wondering then, just how serious my condition is. Because this prescription <BR> is marked, 'NO REPEATS'." Sun, 25 Mar 2018 02:00:29 EST Just for laughs DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6462955 We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘Seniors Special’ was “two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.95.” <BR> <BR> ‘Sounds good,’ my wife said, ‘But I don’t want the eggs.’ <BR> <BR> ‘Then, I’ll have to charge you $3.50 because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her. <BR> <BR> ‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ my wife asked incredulously. <BR> <BR> ‘Yes!’ stated the waitress. <BR> <BR> ‘I’ll take the special then,’ my wife said. <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 14 Feb 2018 07:51:03 EST Happy New Year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6444906 Just taking this chance to wish all my friends and family a very Happy New Year. <BR> Let's make the best of the Spark tools we have at our disposal and be mindful to be <BR> as healthy as we can. We owe it to ourselves. <BR> I am grateful for the wonderful friends I have made, some of whom I have met in person <BR> 10 years on Spark has given me back my life. Thank you Spark People. <BR> Happy New Year everybody! Sun, 31 Dec 2017 04:29:09 EST Just joking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6442861 Two old mates were reflecting on life and started talking about footy. <BR> Finally they were discussing whether or not footy was played in Heaven. <BR> After a while they came to an agreement. Whoever died first would come back <BR> and tell the other if they played footy in Heaven. <BR> <BR> Eventually, one of the men passed away. About two weeks later as the other man <BR> was in bed for the night, his friend came to see him. <BR> The man asked, "Hey old mate... is there footy in Heaven?"... Sun, 24 Dec 2017 06:19:55 EST Never underestimate a woman! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6438453 <BR> <BR> MEN JUST DON’T HAVE A CHANCE <BR> Putting your affairs in order! <BR> <BR> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have terminal cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' <BR> <BR> The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. <BR> <BR> 'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this cas... Fri, 8 Dec 2017 05:57:51 EST Just for laughs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6434206 Three elderly sisters shared a house together. <BR> <BR> One evening, the eldest sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. <BR> <BR> “Was I getting in the tub or out?” she yelled to her sisters. <BR> <BR> “You old fool,” said the middle sister. “I’ll come up and see.” <BR> <BR> When she got halfway up the stairs, she paused. <BR> <BR> “Was I going up the stairs or down?” she yelled to her sisters. <BR> <BR> The youngest sister was sitting at th... Fri, 24 Nov 2017 02:00:37 EST Athens museums http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6432168 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/50bd89ae-4e8b-4ea0-9bce-f475291387af.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/702fa136-ea27-47a8-be7b-178ad11b36c4.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/1118c4a9-b5cd-4934-b859-95df80c23a4b.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/17bf3005-f723-41de-aa4f-4350bb329dfa.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/7fac921e-8cff-4f5f-aa90-1c9333cf2048.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.co... Fri, 17 Nov 2017 05:33:40 EST Acropolis Museum, , Hadrian's Library, Agora and Plaka, Athens. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6430550 ]I love visiting this Museum as it has views of the Acropolis. <BR> The Cariatides <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/27ba2e6f-86f3-49e4-b9b2-754a939706c5.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/9c9257f3-b6e1-44e4-932a-a4194e3850ee.JPG">Bring the Elgin marbles to Greece. This is what it would look like... <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c98232c8-5693-4e94-abc3-3496e490ecb8.JPG">A view of the Acropolis from Hadrian's Library in the Plaka.... Sun, 12 Nov 2017 01:24:28 EST Continuation of my summer highlights http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6428014 It has been a while since I posted a blog. I hope you enjoy some of the highlights. <BR> The following pictures were from the little known Museum at Pireaus. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/94e3c25a-2f75-446f-a7d8-8e464e529742.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/1fe04e61-8fcd-4e0c-b01d-caf67bdb250d.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/61ad07fe-6bbb-4eed-943d-d30d6ec1704e.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/a932e087-4398-4ee5... Sat, 4 Nov 2017 05:00:34 EST Continuation of cruise - Chania in Crete, Mykonos, Aegina. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6398263 It's been a while since I had the chance to post a blog as it was difficult <BR> to get to a proper internet connection. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/99e3ff47-5c01-48df-96eb-cd32a504671f.jpg"> <BR> Chania, Crete.Mosque is still there from the days of the Ottoman Empire. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/6721cac9-c524-4498-a085-5bb63bb7a2a1.JPG"> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/dc1f30ac-2339-477a-b905-cd04548ced74.JPG"> <BR> Th... Thu, 10 Aug 2017 11:38:48 EST Corfu http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6380425 The next part of the cruise was beautiful Corfu. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/5857734b-4fc5-48c9-836b-01ac4eb4952b.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/594a309c-37ca-45ec-8693-db9a3729d13d.jpg">Leaving Kotor <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/e577d1b3-14aa-4374-b887-4fc62a31c49d.jpg">Beautiful Blue caves in Corfu. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/60036571-ac38-43a6-ba66-26b7664b6175.jpg">Amazing colours. <img src="http://ph... Tue, 27 Jun 2017 14:18:49 EST Kotor, Monte Negro http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6379781 After leaving Messina, we sailed into the beautiful Monte Negro region. <BR> It was like going through fiords and very beautiful. Our guide told us that <BR> most of the buildings were rebuilt after the devastating earthquake of 2007. <BR> We wanted to go to the top of the mountain but I couldn't handle the 1400+ steps. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/1b89fe1b-e401-44b9-9074-9101d06f84ca.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/ad780d86-7d52-433f-b133-55c1a... Mon, 26 Jun 2017 06:22:35 EST Mediterranean Cruise on Royal Princess http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6378372 After we left our hotel in Rome, we took the train to the port and then had <BR> to get a taxi as it was really a long way off. the terminus was shocking <BR> as there was no elevator to go down and across to the other side of the platform. <BR> <BR> Thank goodness there were some kind gentlemen who helped us carry our heavy <BR> suitcases down about 30 steps and as many again on the other side. <BR> <BR> We arrived on the ship and went to our cabin and of course went to the buffet <BR> t... Thu, 22 Jun 2017 14:01:17 EST Rome - #2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6377565 I have a few more photos from Rome so I will share these as well. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/be55bcbd-1cb7-42d1-852a-709794f189aa.JPG"> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/01b94407-d5b3-4690-8704-17eb1cb758e7.JPG">More of the Seven Hills of Rome. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/ac0de90a-b7ed-47a8-b262-30a2186f45f1.jpg">The Tiber River. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/2f1d3245-928a-45af-aec1-b4391624c228.jpg">I ... Tue, 20 Jun 2017 16:48:44 EST First part of my trip - Rome http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6376899 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/a889cf26-0e92-4270-b7cf-509340be4cc1.jpg">Met with my cousin who is 93 and her daughter. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/988a2d6d-1304-4690-afb6-6d26aed30fdd.jpg">Suzanne and I in a Rome street with beautiful oleander behind us. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/7039b7fb-812d-451f-9220-56a3c481b407.jpg">A Roman soldier. Re-enactment for the parade celebrating the end <BR> of fascism in Italy in 1946. <... Mon, 19 Jun 2017 04:08:19 EST Old age! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6365006 An old lady was standing at the railing of a cruise ship holding her hat on tight <BR> so that it would not blow off in the wind. <BR> <BR> A gentleman approached her and says, <BR> "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that <BR> your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" <BR> <BR> "Yes I know," said the lady. "I need both hands to hold on to this hat." <BR> <BR> "But madam, you are not wearing anything under your dress, <BR> and your privates are exposed!... Mon, 22 May 2017 05:28:21 EST Laugh for the day. a priest and a rabbi... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6363788 A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a park bench. <BR> <BR> After a little chit chat, the priest asked, <BR> "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork... <BR> but have you really never tasted it?" <BR> <BR> The rabbi cocked his head and said' <BR> "I must tell you the truth. Yes I have, once when I was young and rebellious." <BR> <BR> The two sit in silence for a moment, rocking back and forth together with <BR> the motion of the train, then the rabbi asked a quest... Fri, 19 May 2017 01:43:18 EST Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6357879 Enjoy these gems that I received today. <BR> <BR> ----------------------------------------<BR>------------ <BR> <BR> Wisdom is not using it in a fruit salad. <BR> <BR> Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have <BR> remained a virgin.' <BR> - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <BR> <BR> I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against... Fri, 5 May 2017 05:41:50 EST Just joking! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6357450 A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived <BR> and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realised he had forgotten his false teeth. <BR> Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." <BR> <BR> The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair <BR> of false teeth. "Try these," he said. <BR> The speaker tried them. "Too loose." <BR> The man then said, "I have another pair, try these." <BR> The speaker tried t... Thu, 4 May 2017 05:02:31 EST Marriage is... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6350500 <BR> The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. <BR> <BR> "He's a funeral director," she answered. <BR> <BR> "Interesting," the newsman thought. <BR> <BR> He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did f... Wed, 19 Apr 2017 06:40:26 EST Just JOKING... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6349152 A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. <BR> She was a very good looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, <BR> but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to put an ad in the newspaper <BR> for a ranch hand. <BR> <BR> Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. <BR> She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, <BR> she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around <BR> the ho... Sun, 16 Apr 2017 07:09:36 EST Piano Lessons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6332211 TRUE STORY...PLEASE DO NOT DELETE, RETURN IF YOU CAN'T FORWARD TO AT LEAST ONE PERSON!!! <BR> <BR> At the prodding of my friends I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Honor. I am a former elementary school Music Teacher from Des Moines, Iowa. <BR> <BR> I have always supplemented my income by Teaching Piano Lessons...Something I have done for over 30 years. During those years, I found that Children have many levels of musical ability, and even though I have never had the p... Mon, 13 Mar 2017 07:52:31 EST Beautiful Queensland - where I live. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6328344 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c2518ed5-b7de-4a66-abde-12204b3c2eb0.jpg">Last week's brilliant sunset <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/930608d1-0442-45bc-96fa-5e0507df273f.JPG">This view is overlooking the Broadwater at practically the same time as the above photo. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/82454dbb-f8e4-4f29-bd7b-a31fafdf884d.jpg">A beautiful sea anemone which you don't normally see but the tide was out, my walk along the for... Sun, 5 Mar 2017 19:26:02 EST Puns for Educated Minds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6327542 Puns for Educated Minds <BR> <BR> <BR> 1.The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He <BR> acquired his size from too much pi. <BR> <BR> <BR> 2.I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to <BR> be an optical aleutian . <BR> <BR> <BR> 3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still. <BR> <BR> <BR> 4.A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was <BR> a weapon of math disruption. <BR> <BR> <BR> 5... Sat, 4 Mar 2017 05:38:27 EST Time for laughter! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6320586 Don't Mess With Seniors <BR> A retired older couple returned to the Mercedes dealership where the salesman <BR> has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty drop dead <BR> gorgeous blonde in a tight mini-skirt and a halter top. <BR> <BR> The old man appeared to be visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman quite sharply. <BR> "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 aski... Thu, 23 Feb 2017 22:37:58 EST Just jokes. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6318660 <BR> · Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?" <BR> I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.” She didn't quite know how to respond. <BR> Am I getting to be that age? <BR> <BR> · I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. <BR> I can't afford one. So I'm wearing my garage d... Mon, 20 Feb 2017 07:09:19 EST Remembering the 50s! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6306557 Subject: Take a deep breath and go back in time <BR> <BR> THE American version!!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Many memories watching this. <BR> 1955 was <BR> over 60 years ago. Yikes!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> https://safeshare.tv/x/FEDEwZHZXu Sat, 28 Jan 2017 05:32:14 EST Just joking! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6306057 An old widow bought an antique from a shop and brought it home. <BR> As she was polishing it up, a genie burst from it and said, <BR> "You have awakened me from my slumber. I shall grant you three wishes." <BR> <BR> The widow asked for a cottage in the country. The genie nodded his head, <BR> and suddenly she found herself holding the deed to a little place out of town. <BR> <BR> The widow then asked for enough money to be wealthy for the rest of her days. <BR> The genie nodded and suddenl... Fri, 27 Jan 2017 07:26:33 EST Gotta hand it to those Brits. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6302731 <BR> <BR> In a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. <BR> <BR> "The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm me! I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do you say to that?" <BR> <BR> The Englishman lowered his newspaper... Sat, 21 Jan 2017 20:54:36 EST Avoid this bank! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6299073 <BR> Subject: FW: ANZ Bank -this is brilliant <BR> <BR> Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death! <BR> Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless <BR> and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today! <BR> <BR> A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and <BR> March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and <BR> Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge The balance h... Mon, 16 Jan 2017 07:39:02 EST The week that was. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6297725 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/5745d4f7-dbba-452d-8d95-b9c41f7928ab.jpg"> <BR> Friday, Celebrating a friend's 70th at a High Tea. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/6a1d5bff-8feb-480a-899e-9df3f9b76c8a.jpg"> <BR> Saturday, Epiphany celebrations. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/4387cfc2-06ee-40ed-905d-05694bb4d3d7.jpg"> <BR> Monday, went to the beach but too rough for swimming. <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/bead... Sat, 14 Jan 2017 00:49:36 EST Just for laughs. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6295782 A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. <BR> <BR> The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.” <BR> <BR> The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona; the other is in ... Wed, 11 Jan 2017 05:58:40 EST Time for laughter http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6293037 Two men were sitting next to each other in Murphy's Pub in London. <BR> After a while, one bloke looks at the other and says, <BR> "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you are from Ireland." <BR> <BR> The other bloke responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!" <BR> <BR> The first one says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?" <BR> <BR> The other bloke answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am." <BR> <BR> The first one responds, "So am I!" <BR> <BR> "Mother Mary and begora.... Sat, 7 Jan 2017 07:24:48 EST Facts about reindeers! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6284595 REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should'v... Fri, 23 Dec 2016 17:18:43 EST Just joking! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6281446 A man had checked into a hotel room. There was a computer in his room <BR> so he decided to send an email to his wife. <BR> <BR> He accidentaly typed the wrong email address and without realising, he sent <BR> the email to a widow who had just returned from her husband's funeral. <BR> <BR> The widow decided to check her email, expecting condolence messages from <BR> relatives and friends. <BR> <BR> After reading the first message she fainted. Her son rushed into the room and <BR> found his... Thu, 15 Dec 2016 20:48:13 EST Just for laughs. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6280748 WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA? <BR> A man walked into the ladies department and shyly walked up to <BR> the woman behind the counter and said, <BR> 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. ' <BR> ' What type of bra?' asked the clerk. <BR> 'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?' <BR> ' Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. <BR> 'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras t... Wed, 14 Dec 2016 07:40:18 EST A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Don't laugh just yet! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6274532 A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. <BR> <BR> This is how it manifests: <BR> <BR> I decide to water my garden. <BR> As I turn on the hose in the driveway, <BR> I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. <BR> <BR> As I start toward the garage, <BR> I notice mail on the porch table that <BR> I brought up from... Wed, 30 Nov 2016 21:47:41 EST My photos of the Super Moon on the Broadwater. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6266539 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/8c36afc3-e2c5-48f4-afb0-49686d0c5389.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c6948166-0b46-4190-9bfd-3f8fd7eca9b8.JPG"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/624a7282-afcf-4550-95f0-8ef6a5675a04.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/228d231a-a4d7-45e9-8422-2911faeb259f.JPG"> Mon, 14 Nov 2016 04:33:18 EST Lest we forget http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6264898 Monday, November 11, 2013 <BR> "This poem was written as a response to those who protest at soldiers funerals." <BR> <BR> For all the Aussie Digger's soldiers all over the world who lost their lives <BR> <BR> Taking a Stand <BR> <BR> I ask you to stand with me <BR> For both the injured and the lost <BR> I ask you to keep count with me <BR> Of all the wars and what they cost <BR> I ask you to be silent with me <BR> Quietly grateful for our lot <BR> As I expect you're as thankful as me <BR> ... Thu, 10 Nov 2016 17:06:26 EST What the...some people don't get it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6262609 My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. <BR> Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. <BR> She said, 'you gave me too much money.' <BR> I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.' <BR> She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. <BR> I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.' <BR> The cashier then proceeded to give... Sun, 6 Nov 2016 03:47:32 EST For those of my generation who don't use or comprehend Facebook. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6257605 I'm trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying <BR> some principles. <BR> <BR> So, every day I walk down the street and tell passers by what <BR> I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I did the night before, <BR> what I'll do later and with whom. <BR> <BR> I show them pictures of my family, my dog, (other dogs and cats), <BR> 'selfies' of me, standing in front of landmarks, having lunch, and <BR> doing what anybody and everybody does every day. <BR> <BR> I also list... Wed, 26 Oct 2016 20:45:50 EST Joke time. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6255276 Husband made a snide remark about his wife’s weight and her response is absolutely perfect <BR> <BR> One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!” <BR> <BR> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go unrewarded. <BR> <BR> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “What the Hell is this... Sat, 22 Oct 2016 07:31:15 EST Just for laughs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6238896 A man who had been stranded on a desert island for 10 years all alone sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer he rules out the possibility of a small boat, then even a raft. <BR> <BR> Suddenly emerging from the surf walking towards him comes a drop-dead gorgeous woman wearing a wetsuit and scuba gear. She approaches the stunned guy and asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” <BR> <BR> “Ten years,” h... Tue, 20 Sep 2016 06:23:40 EST Joke of the week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6236756 There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting <BR> a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. <BR> <BR> The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. <BR> They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. <BR> "You should write it down," she said. <BR> The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." <BR> She then told her husband she wanted a bowl... Fri, 16 Sep 2016 08:43:10 EST