GINNJEN1974's SparkPeople Blog GINNJEN1974's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community And now for some exercise of the brain this morning. Checking in here and saying good morning. Later this afternoon am going for a walk. I don't know how far I will go but I will be moving the body. Have been having some strange issues with balance and am sure part of it is blood pressure related so now to move and see if that helps. <BR> <BR> Hope you all are having a good week so far. Tue, 10 Dec 2013 07:19:35 EST Still here I am. I cant seem to find me groove yet. I have not the motivation it seems. Don't know if its the holidays or what. Usually I struggle with the blues from end of Oct. til the first of the year. I will keep coming in though. I promise. Sat, 7 Dec 2013 05:45:23 EST Dec. 1st already Seems the older I get the faster time gets away from me. This year has flown by and we are already looking at the last year in the rear view mirror. My reflections of this year.... not to much progress on the weight loss front that is okay though. I am back with the Spark and before the new year to come. I don't do resolutions so that works out just fine. Mentally my progress is pretty good. Have learned a few things and that is always good. Sun, 1 Dec 2013 08:38:12 EST Early Morning Bliss Some people say they are not morning people. I used too but over the years with children that had to make it to school somehow I cannot seem to ever sleep in. Plus the added insomnia well you know how that goes. However I have found my bliss when the house is all quiet and it is all mine. I grab some coffee and sit down here and get in Sparktime. A great way to start my day. Wed, 27 Nov 2013 08:46:08 EST Thanksgiving fast Approaching You know the mirror on your vehicle the warning about items being closer than they appear? I believe that my eyes and plate do just that on holidays and my stomach somehow manages to keep up with it. I am not going to worry about it that much as I am just back to this. There will be no beating myself up for I go in knowing that I will overindulge. <BR> <BR> As for Thanksgiving itself it sure got here in a hurry. Wanted to just say a bit of what I am thankful for this year. My family both in ... Tue, 26 Nov 2013 06:44:03 EST Nearing the End of another Big Year Big being my size. I have not made the progress I have wanted to this year. I have been on again off again with the Spark. My youngest brought me back this time. She too struggles with weight. She is on here and tracking away. I was like I truly need to get back too it. Is it the best time too probably not but that isn't going to stop me. With holidays and three months to follow of bdays it may be rough going but I will get going. <BR> <BR> All my friends I did miss you greatly Mon, 25 Nov 2013 05:04:06 EST Back to 5 pounds down Well I am officially back down the 5 I had lost since coming back to the Spark. Had a small slip and was away for about two and a half weeks and managed to gain almost 2 and a half pounds in that time frame. Amazing just how off track one can go with the eating when we are not conscious of what we are putting in our mouths. <BR> <BR> With all that has been going on this last week, I must say that I am proud to have had any loss. I have so wanted to binge eat for emotion reasons. Comfort foo... Wed, 11 Sep 2013 08:08:09 EST He really said that??? Wow time to vent. <BR> <BR> Have you ever sat back and truly listened to your husband or wife and just what they think you relationship entails. Well I got a true kick in the teeth today by phone. I am so frustrated I could scream but what good is it going to do. I know the last few years have not been our best but boy he went low in saying the only thing we do together is physical and not the gym. His undertone was and not even that too often which I must admit is true. <BR> <BR> Tears are... Mon, 9 Sep 2013 18:35:25 EST Up and Down Seems to always be my trend. I do so well initially then slowly I stray away. This time however it was just about a week. But in one week I seem to have almost gained back 2 of the five pounds I have lost. I am going to buckle down for the rest of this month and see if I can at least get back to the five lost. Tue, 27 Aug 2013 07:05:25 EST Cheat Days???? Do you indulge in a cheat day? If so how do you keep from it turning into a total binge that lasts beyond that day? <BR> <BR> I know many people think you have to do this so that you don't feel deprived along the way. Lets just say yesterday was my cheat day. I did it big as I do all things. Don't know how to indulge in any vice in a small way. Thank you addictive personality. Anyway I know that today I need to get on track. I am going to but I am starting over again and the desire is strong... Sat, 17 Aug 2013 07:18:28 EST Warning: This is not a DIET DIET= Did I Eat That <BR> <BR> This word has always had negative effects on any effort put forth to lose weight. I would always binge and then have to say Did I Eat That. Too many things were on the hit list (do not eat ever list) and then I would ultimately fail. Why do we do this? <BR> <BR> Right now I don't really have stuff I cannot eat. There is stuff that is limited intake sure. Nothing is not allowed but I do have to stay accountable for whatever passes my lips. So far it has gone fa... Fri, 16 Aug 2013 07:38:14 EST Habits Good and Bad We all have bad ones. We even acknowledge them sometimes. That is part of the reason most of us are here. From our overeating to non movement; we know we need to make some changes. How to do it at times seems daunting a mountain we cannot seem to get a foothold on. We only see the summit and not all the steps needed to take in between. <BR> <BR> Find the small footholds today. Little by little gain altitude (positive attitude). Each new foothold a step towards healthy life and eating. In no... Wed, 14 Aug 2013 07:10:05 EST The 13th Day........... Almost two weeks back with the Spark! I am so glad to be at it again. I fall down but don't stay down. It helps knowing my friends here are always so accepting no matter the time in between. I don't always have the same response with those that live with me but that is okay. I have learned in some cases it is just insecurity causing them to try and make me revert to old habits. It is uncomfortable for them to see me trying to better me. To not be focused on them. I will have to learn to be mo... Tue, 13 Aug 2013 04:48:53 EST Always Keep at It This weekend and even today I seem to be struggling a bit to find the bottom of my calorie intake. I am not worrying to much for the fact that I am not exercising at the moment. If I were then it might be another story. <BR> <BR> Its Monday all and well it was a good one overall. I hope yours was too. <BR> <BR> "What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Vincent Van Gogh Mon, 12 Aug 2013 19:17:59 EST Productive Days How does one measure this? I know some days you just feel like you have accomplished so much. When you go to sleep that night you know you have done all that you could. I love these kinds of days. <BR> <BR> Need to have more of them for sure. I find if I make out lists I see just what I have done. I am a very literal person and seeing it in black and white is always helpful. <BR> <BR> How do you know when you have been productive? <BR> Sun, 11 Aug 2013 06:08:39 EST Alter Ego anyone??? I wish I had one sometimes to take over this journey. She would never overeat. She would be a workout star. She would come up with unusual meals that were both healthy and satisfying. In a sense she would be a superstar!! Her name would strike fear into fat and caloric overtake. They would run in fear and never bring themselves to my plate. Her name is:::::::: Super Satisfied. <BR> <BR> No alter ego here just me. However, I think in time I will be able to accomplish some of these feats. I wi... Fri, 9 Aug 2013 06:08:13 EST Snacking not Grazing Did you know there is a real difference between these two. One you do absent mindedly the other with intent and knowledge of a healthy mindset. <BR> <BR> I have always been a grazer. Could eat all day long if I chose to. I have been paying attention the last week on just what goes in my mouth. I don't snack, and I believe it is something I need to include. I haven't made my calories without having to scramble towards the end of the day. It leaves me wondering what to do. I cannot force mysel... Thu, 8 Aug 2013 05:40:32 EST Weak Moments We all have them. Its just part of the process. However we have to learn the way to move past them quickly. So you ate more calories today than you should have. Do better tomorrow. Didn't make it to the gym. It happens either from lack of motivation to life just got in the way. Tomorrow brings another stab at it. <BR> <BR> I am presently not doing to the gym. I wonder if I need too. I want to focus my energies on eating better. So far so good. I know there will be days that are not stellar b... Wed, 7 Aug 2013 08:45:42 EST 5 days In Well so far so good. I know that I am trying even when my body screams at me to feed it. I just ignore it. For now the will power is good. This is a plus that I hope lingers always. <BR> <BR> I know there are many more steps and days to go. I will get there. <BR> <BR> How ever many days you are in or restarting or maintaining I hope you too are finding ways to do it. <BR> <BR> Have a great day my friends. Tue, 6 Aug 2013 16:00:44 EST Enter Today Anew This I vow. Leave anything I was unhappy with in the past (yesterday). Approach each day anew for that is the way forward. May need to make this a mantra. Some days I am sure will be easier than others but I believe it can be done. <BR> <BR> No more incriminations about what I ate. What I didn't get done. How about what I did do. I ate better than I have in months. I made an effort to truly figure out my meal. I even planned for the next couple days. Those are all positive things. Yea!!! to ... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 07:18:28 EST Who inspires You?? "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Ralph Waldo Emerson <BR> <BR> <BR> When asked this question most people automatically go to a family member. Perhaps a teacher from their school years. Maybe a great leader of action, a president or civil rights leader. These are all great choices and the inspiration well deserved. What about inspiring and be inspired by ourselves? <BR> <BR> Do we not think we are not worth the high praise. Do ... Sun, 4 Aug 2013 09:36:11 EST Busy Bee weekend So this weekend is my time off from my job. However seems I never truly get a day off. Isn't that how it always goes. When one would like to just kick back and relax and refocus life has a way of saying nope. That is okay. I will make the best of it and look at it in a more positive light. I have some major housecleaning( above the everyday stuff) to do. Rearranging and clearing out stuff. Then I have some shopping to do to start to get my youngest ready for her senior year. Maybe tomorrow I ... Sat, 3 Aug 2013 09:27:51 EST Welcomed back to the fold You all are just the most awesome people ever. I was going to reply back to each and everyone of you but wanted to be a bit more public with the thanks!!!! So you all are amazing. Reading the comments I was so happy to see all the support and love. Thanks again to all of you that make it so worth picking myself up and trying yet again. Fri, 2 Aug 2013 05:51:11 EST Ashamed to slink back again I am going to admit I have failed yet again with this thing called weight loss. I am going to say I know and knew better but did not stop myself. I gave up the tools that were helping me and reverted to old ways. Spark and its people were the thing I missed most. <BR> <BR> The support here is the best tool out there. I just went away from it and didn't truly look back. This last week Spark has been on my mind. I missed my friends and all it offers me. Plus I am seeing I have to use this site... Thu, 1 Aug 2013 08:56:49 EST Monday Feb. 4 Time to get it going. I need to step it up. Whatever is causing me to be sick just wants to hang in there. Today I am going to try and put in an effort to move and eat healthy. I can do this and so can you. Weather its sickness or sluggishness or whatever. You can do it. Mon, 4 Feb 2013 06:32:24 EST Finding love for Yourself Do you love yourself? I often think not to much of myself. Do I hate myself for letting my weight get so high. Did I not love myself enough to realize and reverse the direction I was headed. The answer is complicated. I have been known to hurt myself on many levels. I was not always kind to myself. I used drugs, my body, and my soul up. I was running from myself and who I am. <BR> <BR> I am sure most of this makes no sense. Being a survivor doesnt always mean we come away unharmed. We are b... Sat, 2 Feb 2013 10:38:27 EST How did you push As you know I have been feeling unwell. This has not been a good push but I wanted to hold myself accountable either way. I hope you final push of Jan was better than mine. I still am fighting whatever I have and fear that it just doesnt want to leave. I probaly need some downtime but between work and family that is not really something I can do. <BR> <BR> Have a great friday all! <BR> <BR> Lose at least 1 pound. (nope been eating whatever I wanted no gain though) <BR> <BR> Exercise delib... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 07:22:23 EST Stuffy everything I feel like I am coming down with a cold. Yesterday I managed to login here and that was about it. Today I am doing more here. It doesnt take mych no matter how I feel. I am drinking lots of water in hopes of flushing my system. Cant remember if its feed a cold, starve a flu or the opp. I sure hope this isnt the flu we have already had it twice in my house and I sure cant afford to be down too many days. Mon, 28 Jan 2013 07:33:15 EST Fast Food should be illegal Can you imagine this happening? I at times wish that it was. Yesterday was not one of my finer eating days. I went on a fast food binge of sorts. I am not beating myself up for it. I will do better this weekend. I am going to leave yesterday behind. <BR> <BR> Being an addict to food is the worst. You cant stop eating it. I have had issues in the past with other addictions. They were at least able to be avoided. They had to because the risk to myself and my family was to great. <BR> <BR> F... Sat, 26 Jan 2013 09:39:03 EST Final Push (6 days left) In January already. Cant believe that but it seems that is the case. I got to thinking what I would like to do with them and this is what I came up with. <BR> <BR> Lose at least 1 pound. <BR> <BR> Exercise deliberately three of the six days. <BR> <BR> Drink more water around 40 oz a day. I know it should be more but will have to work my way up. <BR> <BR> Continue to blog. Shouldnt be a problem. <BR> <BR> Anyway friday is here have a great weekend everyone!! Fri, 25 Jan 2013 06:46:50 EST 24 days later I have been back with the Spark around 24 days now. I thought I would take stock of just what I have accomplished. I stepped on the scale and found I have lost just a bit over two pounds. Not a huge loss but it is a loss. Shows me I am going in the right direction. It also shows me that I really need to get a grip on just what is and isnt going in my mouth. <BR> <BR> I have managed to move my body a bit more than the norm. I need to make this another conscious effort each day. I am not a b... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:10:44 EST The Amazing Beta Fish My daughter decided she wanted to set up a fish tank again in our new house. We hit three different places and got everything she needed minus one thing. So I told her we would go out the following day and get what she needed. Finally all ready she headed upstairs to prep her tank. <BR> <BR> Shriek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She screams like some kind of crazy person, asylum crazy. My skin crawls and then I hear crying. She is a super sensitive kid. My fish I c... Wed, 23 Jan 2013 07:32:16 EST Do you ever do these?? <BR> Got this from Kaseycoffs blog, thought I would give it a shot. Working on day two of 2 am wake ups so the brain is sluggish <BR> <BR> 1) Where is your cell phone? <BR> <BR> In my purse aptly named the black hole. Stuff goes in and rarely ever sees the light again. <BR> <BR> 2) Spouse? <BR> <BR> Yes. He is currently off doing a training mission. <BR> <BR> 3) Your hair? <BR> <BR> Way to long often I pull my own hair just by sitting if I dont keep it all corralled <BR> <BR> 4) Yo... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 05:58:54 EST Did it get done????? I wrote out a to- do list for this last weekend. 15 things I wanted to accomplish. So did I get it done here is ther rund down. <BR> <BR> 1.Laundry (around 14-16 loads total family of 4) DONE!! <BR> 2.Up and down stairs 12 times ( usually only do this the bare min. of 3 to 4 times) All but 30 steps <BR> 3. Clean my desk off ( this is my hurricane zone always looks like a diaster has struck) DONE!! <BR> 4. Eat two healthy breakfasts DONE!! <BR> 5. Do 40 squats DONE!! plus 10 more <BR> 6. Ru... Mon, 21 Jan 2013 04:58:20 EST Sunday Inspiration (Poem) Needed to find an inspirational quote for my list. There are many out there but I decided in leiu of that to try my hand at a poem about just what I am trying to accomplish. I hope that it may ring true for others here as well. <BR> <BR> <BR> Continue Forward <BR> <BR> Living in this moments grace <BR> We go forward and face <BR> Paths to an unseen place <BR> Finding a minds new space <BR> Dont do this in such haste <BR> For in it you only waste <BR> Your desire to win this race <BR> <BR>... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 08:44:27 EST To Do Lists (Weekends) Is this something that is helpful or not. I find they can be. If you write down what you would like to accomplish say for the day, week, or month. Today I will focus on a weekends worth. Its just 48 hours and if you factor in sleeptime, meals and me time you are looking around 29-30 hours. <BR> <BR> So I am going to list 15 things I will accomplish this weekend. Heres my list: <BR> <BR> 1.Laundry (around 14-16 loads total family of 4) <BR> 2.Up and down stairs 12 times ( usually only do th... Sat, 19 Jan 2013 08:12:03 EST Got to move my body but am so exhausted all the time. I know this is not a good excuse to not get in my fitness. I know it is part of this new lifestyle that I want. <BR> <BR> I have to find a way to get it in. I need to for it not only helps the body but the mind. Today my goal is to take five minutes and do some form. I will work my way from there. I know it doesnt seem like alot of time but right now that is what I can give. who knows maybe it will trun into more than five. <BR> <BR> Have a great Friday al... Fri, 18 Jan 2013 08:16:02 EST Midway thru Jan. Seems time is going faster and faster the older I get. I guess that is okay, not real sure how I should feel about it. I know I want to make changes perm. ones this year. I am doing okay with the small steps. I know it will take time and continued presence. I can do this and so can you whatever your goals are. Thu, 17 Jan 2013 07:33:34 EST Robot Baby My youngest daughter is a junior in HS. She is taking a health and wellness class. This week her assignment was to bring home a baby. No not the real deal but a robot one. I pick her up from school and she is already looking frazzled. They have a baby carrier for it and she proceeds to get in the car meanwhile it starts to cry. She figures out what is the matter and we head home. <BR> <BR> I want to see this little invention as we did not have these when I was in school. So I pick it up and... Wed, 16 Jan 2013 08:09:13 EST Thankfulness This is something that I wanted to address today. I dont always say thank you for things that I should. Life seems to get away and it just somehow slips my mind. This is a poor excuse for not saying it. <BR> <BR> As you all know this year has already had some struggles for my family. Not major life or death ones but still valid ones. My hubby was in a car accident, he was unhurt. I should have been so happy he was unhurt instead I focus on our deductible. Five hundred is just alot of money ... Tue, 15 Jan 2013 08:21:30 EST Weekend Busyness Well it seemed to help keeping the hands busy. I did not overeat and accomplished quite a bit around the house which is always good. I get two days off a week so need to learn to make the best of them. <BR> <BR> I tracked all day Sunday food wise which is a first since coming back to the SPark. I am going to call that a NSV. it so helps when I plan out just what is going in my mouth. I will say I wanted to eat but somehow managed to just say NO <BR> <BR> Anyway its a new week all. Lets mak... Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:23:17 EST Busy Hands Need to find a way to have them all the time. Maybe this way I wont be constantly reaching for food. I eat even when I know my body is full. It makes no sense yet it happens all the time. <BR> <BR> This year I am going to really try and find more ways to avoid hand to mouth grazing. Not to sure about the total plan of attack but I know it involves busy hands. Whats the saying " Idle hands is the devils playground". My playground must be a salty, fried sweet place. <BR> <BR> I am going to d... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 05:00:39 EST 500 little words I have often wondered if you could express this journey in five hundred words. I know for each person how that got here is going to vary. I thought I would put mine down. Give it a real hard look. <BR> <BR> I used to be the other end of the spectrum when it comes to this sight. I at one time weighed a whole eighty-nine pounds. I controlled every morsel of food or lack of it. I went days without eating. That was a very unhealthy time in my life. Things were so beyond my control that my weigh... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 08:04:36 EST Progess is in the details Well, this has been a rough start to the new year. Those of you reading my blog have read about the wreck and the flu hitting home. I have managed to not hit McD's out of stress and for that I am happy. I have noticed I am still not being totally honest with my food. I have over eaten a few days and I am sure where I too step on the scale it just might show. However, my mind is still set I just need to get the mouth motivated too. Details. Its all about them. I need to work out a better way t... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 08:17:47 EST DMV update Well went and accomplished switching my license over. It wasnt an all bad experience which was nice. However 82 dollars later and I have a paper one for the next 10 business days. I look crazy too. My last one I looked like a mugshot and this one is worse. I also noticed how much of a double/triple chin I have. You arent allowed to stretch your neck out to make it appear otherwise and no smiling either. The smiling was no issue, not a big one by way of my teeth are a mess. <BR> <BR> I am gla... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 08:00:20 EST DMV approaching may appear closer than viewed in mirror Today will be a long day. That is okay. Have to head down to that dreaded Dept. of Motor Vehicles. Must renew my license before it expires. Not looking forward to the 50-55 dollar price tag on that but what can one do. Its one of those evil neccessities. Plus, the lines are usually long. I am not real big on lines so today will be a test to my patience level. I am going to take a book by an author I adore and see if that helps with the anx. of it all. My daughter is going to so I will have co... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 06:18:47 EST Car update/ 1 week back at it update Not a whole lot to report other than they found it. Yup they lost it for a whole twenty four hours. They towed it too the wrong body shop. They are saying it need two rims and some stearing arm replace so far. Hubby is missing his vehicle to say the least. Looks like he will be without it for at least another week considering the rims are not even made anymore so they have to find something close. That and the shop seems real busy so I dont know. <BR> <BR> On the plus side I have made it on... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 05:51:33 EST Maybe Monday Have you ever had a maybe kind of day. I have them more than I should. Maybe I will (fill in the blank) today. Yet somehow it turns into another future event and even then still a Maybe. I have seem alot of blogs around about what one can acomplish if they set their minds and bodies to it. Lists and checking it off seem to be a tried and true system. I am thinking this could be a good way to start doing more I dids instead of maybes. Not to sure how big of a list but I will have to work out t... Mon, 7 Jan 2013 08:25:25 EST Spark On Sunday Just a note today. Its Sunday and today I plan on spreading the Spark. How you say? People join this great site each and every day. This we know to be a fact. More and more people are fighting the battle of the bulge. (sorry about the pun but fitting all the same) Not everyone will keep it up and one of the reasons is they need support. Maybe they dont have it at home, maybe they dont get it here. Today I am going to welcome at least five new people. I think that it helps to know there are o... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 09:45:41 EST 5 Hard Facts 1. I let myself get this big. <BR> 2. I am addicted to food. <BR> 3. My will power is usually lacking. <BR> 4. I sabotage myself and let others do it too <BR> 5.I hate exercising. <BR> <BR> Wow looks like alot of negative here, I know. This isnt about that however. I just wanted to see it in black and white. Now how do I fix this? <BR> <BR> 1. I realise I did this to myself. I know that I do not want to get any bigger. My body lets me know each and every day this is not acceptable. <BR> <... Sat, 5 Jan 2013 07:44:42 EST