GINILEE4's SparkPeople Blog

So much going on in my head

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:19:42 EST

Writing this blog is going to be confusing to me, so if I tend to wander around a lot, just please bear with me.

I got my copy of the Spark solution last week and powered my way through it. I determined quite quickly that the diet portion would not work for me as I cannot have sugar and I hated most of the food offerings. I kept reading and discovered that, although many of the ideas about exercise are sound, in theory, the workouts are , as yet, beyond me. This of course is fine a...

READ

Sat, 11 May 2013 19:25:27 EST

Read The SPark SOlution. You'll be so glad you did!!!

Gini

Just for today

Tue, 7 May 2013 04:41:59 EST

Just for to day,

I am going to get myself out the door for a walk

I am going to do my exercises twice

I am going to visit all my teams and take part in them

I am going to treat myself the way I want to be treated by others

I am going to experience satisfaction in a day well spent.

Tomorrow will take care of itself, but, today I will push myself to be the best day I have ever had.

Gini 386

Sunday May 5/13

Sun, 5 May 2013 09:07:42 EST

It is another beautiful day today and the week ahead looks warm and sunny too. I am putting some goals in print today to work on over the next few weeks till JUne. I seem to lose about 1 - 1 1/2 lbs a week now so that is 1 goal to work toward. Keeping up with my daily food plan seems to work well for this. I have to begin to work on a daily structured fitness plan. I have a lot of trouble trying to force myself to enjoy and do this. I have decided to ' fake it till I make it'. so that I do ge...

Having Control

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 18:55:47 EST

Today was a weird day. It started out beautifully warm and calm. Now, at 6:30pm it is cold and rainy. It has rained and blown all afternoon. The temperature has dropped by 60% in the last 5 hours. A good day to be indoors, but, I was not. I had physio today. I usually walk to the bus and then walk to physio and back. Today I took a cab. Too rainy and blowing.
I realized when I was doing my journal this morning, that I am actually in control of many aspects of my life that I have not had...

Down to 15

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 05:22:14 EST

I was up and running at 3am. I always wake up very early so I go to bed at 8pm. If I try to stay up later, I still get up early so to try to get enough sleep, it's early to bed for me. Anyway, I am still working on cutting down on my cigarettes. it is not going as smoothly now since I have already dropped by 5 per day. Now I am working on 15 a day. that might sound like a lot but at 1 time, I used to smoke a large pack, ( 25), a day. So the 15. I have made out a time schedule to have my smoke...

Physio

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:49:52 EST

I started my Physio today. We are going to work on strengthening my back, legs and hips. I was there for 1 1/2 hours today but it will be about 1 hour twice a week. I have an added bonus because I take the bus and have to walk to the clinic. I also have to walk back to the bus afterwards. Today that walk was painful and wiggly but I hope as I do more therapy, I get stronger and after the physio , don't hurt quite as much. LOL.

We are starting the G.I. Diet tomorrow. We have been mo...

Here I am AT LAST

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 17:09:55 EST

Hi all.

Monday afternoon our computer crashed. Thankfully DH is a techie and has been fixing computers all his working life. It took a LOT of time and we still had to run the house and shop etc. DH does all the cooking and some of the cleaning. He is also my grocery shopper until I get my walker so I can go too. Anyway, He had it better by Wednesday night and I was able to read a few of my 325 emails!!!! I was also able to login and get some Spark pints. Thursday just emails and Sp...

Fighting to keep it together

Sun, 7 Apr 2013 13:24:08 EST

Following my last blog, I sort of fell apart. I have begun to doubt myself and I have no confidence in what I am doing. I don't seem to be able to carry through with any decisions I make. Maybe I am trying to will things to happen instead of working with them, but, I don't know how to do this. For the past year I have not been able to put myself together enough to lose any weight, become any stronger, or to stop smoking. These 3 areas of my life continue to plague me. I know that I need to le...

Working Away

Thu, 4 Apr 2013 17:20:37 EST

Sort of a non event day. I am working on quitting smoking. I decided not to make myself too crazy this time but take it as I can. I managed all day yesterday without a cigarette and until 2 pm today. Now I have had 2 and will have 2 more before bed at 8. Tomorrow I start again at none and go 2 and 1/2 days without and then have 3 or 4 that afternoon.. I will wean myself off of them over about a week or 2. Much less stress than just quitting cold turkey and I think doable. Have to get smokefre...

Whoo Hoo

Mon, 1 Apr 2013 19:36:18 EST

It isn't earth shattering but I am pleased. I did 14 minutes of indoor walking again today. This means in the past month that I have increased my walking time by 40% . That's a number I DO care about. A few more days at 14 and I will be ready to add another minue. 244

Gini

My Pledge

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 07:26:29 EST

My Body Pledge of Allegiance:

Today, I vow to start loving my body – no matter how I am feeling, how I look, and wherever I am in my journey.

I promise to stop the self- criticism, negative self talk, and to be present in each moment to stop and acknowledge my negative thoughts, and how I am feeling. This will help me realize that almost everything my inner critic says is not true, and to change my beliefs.

I pledge to never again to participate in a barrag...

Brass Tacks

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 22:50:24 EST

I have lost 2.2 lbs in 3 weeks. Not impressive but I get what I deserve. I am in the same place I was 3 weeks ago.
Today I was put on BP medication, no questions asked. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I am a walking time bomb, ticking. The heart attack trinity. High BP, smoking and morbid obesity.
I have to change this and I have to start now. There are some easy changes I can make beginning tomorrow morning. I will start by taking my BP twice a day and recording it for my GP. I ...

On Trying to Be Perfect- AHA

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 15:35:48 EST

Last night after I had gone to bed, I realized I had not written a blog for the day. I was so tired but thought I had better get up and write one as it is 1 of my fastbreak goals. Suddenly, I thought. AHA You don't have to be perfect all the time, about everything! Can I live with only reaching my goals 6 out of 7 days? Well, yes I can! I still have a real problem when it comes to doing everything right, all the time. When I don't do something perfectly, I tend to quit doing it at all and fa...

Not Every day is going to be great

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 19:33:42 EST

So, I had 3.5 hours of sleep last night. That was it. Even after I had coffee with mom at 5:30am I didn't go back to bed for longer than 1 hour. I am sleep deprived today. A sleepy Gini is a lethargic Gini. So didn't go shopping with DH as planned. It was below freezing AGAIN with icy wind chills. I don't do winter! LOL I usually try to get my walking in in the morning but couldn't talk myself into it. DH and I watched some TV this afternoon, I NEVER do that. I hardly ever watch a...

On Being Happy

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 17:00:21 EST

I have often said to myself, I will be so happy when..... I read an article written by a SParker today about being happy now. I will be satisfied when, I reach a 10 lb weightloss and yes I will feel happiness but that is not what I need to do to be happy. I need to learn to make myself happy just as I am, Right Now. I need to be happy being the size I am. I have learned to be happy with a lot fewer ' things' so now I need to work on being happy because, it is spring, I woke up this morning, ...

Fastbreak Goals from March 21 till MArch 27

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 19:37:01 EST

1.- drink 3 litres of water daily

2.- Do 10 minutes of walking daily

3.- blog about my day

Thursday- met all 3 goals today

Friday- met my 3 goals today WHOO HOO!!!!

Saturday-

SUnday-

Monday-

Tuesday-

Wednesday-

I can reach these goals.

Never Quit Pledge

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 07:11:15 EST

Never Quit Pledge

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Today, I promise I will not quit.

I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey.

I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself.

I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations.

I pledge to treat myself as...

Back to basics

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 19:17:56 EST

I have finally got myself back together now. I am resetting some goals to work on this week. Tomorrow is weigh in and I have no idea what to expect. here goes;

1- Walk at least 10 minutes every day

2- Drink 3 bottles of water daily

3- Get dressed every day

4- Do not smoke

5- Track my food and fitness daily

Gini 249

A Good Week

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 07:17:22 EST

I had a good week this past week. I worked on walking as much as I could and now have a 3 day walking streak going. I am excited about building on that streak. I am walking for 12 minutes at a time now and hope to add more to that number during the week. I continue to drink my 3 litres of water daily. It comes easily now and I don't have to consciously make myself choose water. I like this new habit. It IS the first habit I have been able to form. I continue to work on tracking my food intake...

I am still here

Fri, 8 Mar 2013 19:27:08 EST

I don't know where to start or what to say. I am having a terribly hard time dealing with not eating cookies. It seems so simple. Just don't do it, but a lifetime of being fed by my mom, is holding on to me strongly. I am not giving up though. I will beat this. I have no idea how long it will take me. It might end tomorrow or next week, or next month but I will reach that goal.

I have also been fighting another demon for a long time. I have been thinking about giving up smoking fo...

Step it up

Tue, 5 Mar 2013 16:23:39 EST

Tarot.com - Horoscopes

By: Rick Levine, Tarot.com

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

You nostalgically long for the old routine, as it makes you feel emotionally secure. Today marks a change for the better as your workload increases, motivating you to stay on track until you're certain everything is in order. Luckily, there is less time to wander off into your own insecurities with so much to do. Don't waste a moment; get busy and create a schedule that allows you t...

Another Step Forward

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:54:28 EST

I am working on my 3 goals right now. I have set up a daily checklist on a blog to help me keep track of where I am.
Around the New Year I was at a place where I was feeling very confident and happy. These 2 feelings have eluded me for a while now. Since the middle of January I have slowly been losing those feelings again. I have tried to pinpoint where it was that was happening at New Years, that may have contributed to my happiness. For sure there was that DD and family were coming her...

Goals - Feb 23 to March 8

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:08:41 EST

Drink 8 glasses or more of water daily

Walk at least 10 minutes 5x weekly

Track,water, food and fitness daily

N.C.

Feb 23- goals met

Feb 24- goals met except N.C.

Feb 25- goals for water and tracking met

Feb 26- goals met for water and tracking

Feb 27-

Feb 28-

Mar 1 -

Mar 2 -

Mar 3 -

Mar 4 -

Mar 5 -

Mar 6 -

Mar 7 - <...

Progress and update

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 18:05:15 EST

I have managed to reach the 2 goals I set for myself. I wanted to be consistent with all my water and with walking at least 3 days a week for 2 weeks. Today is day 14 and this past week I walked 5 times. 244 on reaching these goals. I am so proud of myself. 224 Now I am ready to start a 3rd goal starting tomorrow. I am going to track my water, fitness and food every day for the next 2 weeks, until March 8th. Doing these small changes for a specified time helps me stay...

Being Better

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 04:09:24 EST

Today is not about trying to change myself. Today is about doing 1 thing better than I did yesterday. Fighting a cold has me down, but not out. I can take 1 step forward today and make a difference.

Gini

AAAArrrrggghhh

Tue, 19 Feb 2013 15:34:54 EST

I have the worst cold I have had in years. In 1 1/2 days I've used 2 boxes of kleenex ( good thing we buy big packages of them ) I can't taste anything yet I am hungry. Running a low grade fever. I can't lay down because then I can't breath at all. Spent last night sitting up in my chair in the living room, napping for 30 minutes, smoking and coughing and sneezing for the next 1/2 hour. Today is no better so I guess it's another night in the chair. It isn't even a recliner!!! I just know I pi...

Horoscope Today

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 08:26:04 EST

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

It may feel as if your world is about to open up, so take this chance to think about your future. Unfortunately, the uncertainty makes you anxious, especially if your goals are out of sync with your current life circumstances. You might convince yourself that drastic action is needed to get back onto the proper path, but don't push so hard for change today. Adopting a methodical approach to your long-term goals is better than trying to ...

I'm Done

Sat, 16 Feb 2013 14:20:41 EST

I am DONE!!!!

-Done making myself crazy
-Done trying to change myself for other people
-Done being miserable because I am a smoker
-Done scrutinizing every little area of my life to pieces
-Done trying to do everything at the same time
Done- stinkin thinkin
Done- trying to express pass everything
-Done beating myself up over and over

I am going to drink my water daily. I am going to walk for 10 minutes, 3x a week. I am going to reward m...

I had a Happy Valentine's Day

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 20:38:58 EST

The day of the heart. The day for my heart to become more important to me. In January, I was able to quit smoking for 4 weeks. When I came home from Ottawa, stress took over and I began to smoke again. Today, 2 weeks later, I quit again. I have patches to wear and I will do it again but this time it will stick. I am so ready.
I have discovered that when I drink diet soda my sweet tooth goes crazy. I crave cookies and candy. When I stick to water I don't get these cravings. I have finally...

Week 2 goals - Feb 11 to Feb 17

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 19:26:18 EST

This week my goals are-

Drink 8 water or more daily

Walk 10 minutes at least 5 days this week

Spend more time with teams and friends this weeek

Week 1 results

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 19:23:40 EST

I started out the week with the best of intentions. I set goals, reset Spark Coach and began taking positive steps forward. I don't know what happened but it fell apart this week. I did have a sick day on Wednesday and maybe taking the day to recover turned into the rest of the week without getting back to work. It was easier to take it easy, I think. SO now, what to do? I say set goals and work toward them!!Beating myself up doesn't make sense any more. What would that accomplish? It would b...

I Love Blogs

Mon, 4 Feb 2013 19:18:13 EST

I am so angry with myself. I lost weight and did so well while I was in Ottawa. I was 29 days into my no smoking plan. I made extensive plans to continue with what I have been doing. I chose goals to work toward and posted these goals. Now I remember why I don't plan goals.

Since coming home from Ottawa, I have been gorging on cookies, smoking, and not working toward any of my goals. I don't know what has come over me.

BUT BUT BUT, I realize bashing myself won't make th...

Week 1 Goals - Feb 4 - Feb 10

Sun, 3 Feb 2013 08:18:43 EST

I am finally here. We returned from Ottawa on Tuesday night. I have been battling a cold I picked up and have been trying to deal with some strained muscles in my neck, shoulders and back. These strains are a result of Sleeping on a rock hard bed for a week, sitting on a train for 6 hours twice in a week, carrying luggage and random bags up 3 fights of stairs at stupid Toronto train station, lifting and carrying 2- 24 and 27 lb babies around for a week,and the almighty tension and stress fact...

The Big Trip

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 19:45:02 EST

2 more days. We leave for Ottawa on Wednesday morning. I have nothing packed yet and I just know that tomorrow morning, I will be running all over the house looking for lost or forgotten items. I have laundry to do and notes to write for our son, who is looking after the dog, and for my mom who is 2nd in line to look after the dog. Unfortunately, my DH and I have always fed and watered, the dog so son, who is used to looking after only himself and neurotic mom who drives everyone crazy, need...

Setting Goals and fear thereof

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 19:40:26 EST

I wrote out my goals for this year the other day. I read them many times before I was satisfied with what I had chosen to do. Now I am working up the nerve to post these goals. It may seem silly, but I feel like once I commit these goals here on SPark, I am responsible for keeping up with them. This is a giant step for me. I have had mini goals to work toward in the past. SOme I reached, some I did not. I have never set down a list of long, medium and short range goals, and certainly never ...

Lacking Energy

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 10:31:07 EST

Today I weighed in at 300 lbs. I am not pleased with myself and also not surprised. I have been letting myself use the excuse that, well I am quitting smoking so I should just let myself eat what I want to soften the cravings. The truth is the cravings aren't worth mentioning and I am just gorging on cookies. Maybe my metabolism is changing but it doesn't excuse mindless overeating of junk food. I have to step up to the plate here and put my foot down on this issue before I gain any more wei...

ANother Great Day.

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 19:51:54 EST

I had a sparktacular day today. I completed nearly all of the items on my to do list. I walked for 17 minutes. I did a workout for 9 minutes with Coach Nicole. I am on day 12 of not smoking. I did a 15 minute drawer cleanup that I have been meaning to do for a week now. I just got so much done and was so motivated today.

Foodwise, it has been difficult this week with quitting smoking. I find I need a sweet fix in the afternoon and have turned to cookies all week. I k...

An Awakening and Goals Reached

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 19:46:58 EST

Today I had 3 goals to reach. I reached 2 of them. WHoo Hoo! It is important for me to recognize my success. SO I am doing just that 380

I have been feeling really crummy for about a week and have not been able to figure out what is up with me. A sweet friend sent me a message today and what she had to say made real sense. What she talked about was all the rotten stuff I am getting rid of as a result of not smoking any more. I had heard about all this but had forgotten ...

Still Fighting

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 20:16:53 EST

I have been fighting a rotten cold/flu thing all week. I did get out for a walk on Wednesday but nothing else was happening. I did lots of sleeping and drank lots of water. I think I have most of it behind me now.

My motivation and excitement had slipped. I was growling about not eating cookies and about having to go walking and it suddenly hit me. I am doing the pity party thing. All done now. I hate when I get in a slump so I just step past it and get moving again.

I a...

UUrrgghhh

Mon, 7 Jan 2013 05:26:56 EST

Well, today was weigh in day and in the first week of the new year, I managed to GAIN 2 pounds. This is so frustrating but not surprising. I have been nibbling ( see noshing ) on cookies every day. I guess without realizing it I have been eating cookies instead of smoking. Now today is day 7 of no smoking for me and I am over the moon with the results for that. It feels great to breath again and I am not having many craves or irritations but it seems I am grazing.
I am so glad I keep tr...

Sparktacular Day

Sat, 5 Jan 2013 19:32:02 EST

What a wonderful day. It is obvious that I feel better. A really good night's sleep goes such a long way with me. I had joined the I need Sleep team but have changed my mind an d am joining the sleep challenge, if I can find it. I bet I can!

After some delicious coffee with mom at 5:30 am this morning, I came home and got the dishes in to soak. I made my own breakfast, which is unusual for me as DH does ALL the cooking, but I was hungry and I knew he planned to sleep in this mornin...

Not a little cold, a little flu!

Fri, 4 Jan 2013 20:22:06 EST

Not too much typing tonight. Feel pretty crummy. Was up till 2 this morning and got back up at 4. Need to get some sleep and take some tylenol. Achy all over.

Day 4 no smoking - done. I am still doing it but that is all I did today. Try again tomorrow.

Gini

A Little Cold

Thu, 3 Jan 2013 19:53:19 EST

I am battling a little cold right now. Mix it with the cough from quitting smoking and it has slowed me down today. It's all good. I planned 14 things and accomplished 10, good enough for me today. I ate over my range today. Quitting smoking is beginning to affect my cravings for sugar. I did eat some chocolate today but threw away the rest I had. I could really get carried away with eating junk right now, so nip it in the bud. Today was a down day. I didn't walk or do my exercise video but ...

What a Rush!!!

Wed, 2 Jan 2013 20:27:36 EST

Day 2 and everything is falling into place as I had hoped it would. Smoking is out for me so far and I will keep it that way. I do not miss freezing my tushy off outside, at all! In my planner each morning, I write out every little thing I plan to accomplish this day. Yesterday I had 8 things on my list and did 7 of them. Today I had 12 things on my list and accomplished 10. I see progress. I did get my walk in after putting it off until 5pm when I couldn't wait any longer. I want to be able...

I have made it a good day

Tue, 1 Jan 2013 19:43:25 EST

Today was day 1 of no smoking, walking and healthy eating. I managed to do well with all 3. I must admit that I had a hard time ousting myself from my chair for the walk and was a tad cranky with DH but it all happened.

I still have to finish tracking my dinner but as of lunch and snack I was well within range, infact not yet into range. I hope I ate enough as I skipped 2 of my regular snacks.

DH gave me a day planner for Christmas and I started putting it into use thi...

My 5 year Sparkaversary!

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 19:12:20 EST

It has been recently pointed out to me that on Jan 2 I will celebrate 5 years with Spark. Where has the time gone? Where was I then and where am I now? I was 302 lbs and am now 297.6 Not much of a change there. I was able to walk 3 or 4 miles nearly every day and climb stairs from my basement apartment with no trouble. Now I work hard to walk for 15 minutes at a time and desperately struggle with stairs. Yes, I have gotten older but that is not the problem. Sitting on my butt has been the pro...

Sunday Dec 30/12

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 05:05:03 EST

A day late posting again but here it is.

Almost the end of another year. I have sure wasted a lot of time this year trying to take on too much all at the same time and just spinning my wheels.. I would crash and burn quickly and then go into emotional hibernation, eating randomly and not moving at all. I took no time to plan or set goals but ran wildly all over the place. Going into 2013, I have set small and large goals and have developed a plan for reaching those goals. I am conf...

Whew!! What a Day

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 19:52:16 EST

Today was absolutely crazy from the get go. My sisters and their husbands were all coming from out of town to have lunch out with my mom and DH and I. We don't usually go to restaurants so I planned all week for what I would choose for lunch. First was coffee with mom and sprucing up her apartment as we were all gathering there and she was sure it was too messy and dirty. Oh so NOT the case. My mom is Mrs. Clean and at 83 still takes her rugs out almost daily for a shake and dusts daily. I do...

Move that big ole Butt!

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 19:37:59 EST

This should have been posted this morning but the day got busy.

Every day now I wake up excited about the new day. I review my plan for the day and make notes to remind myself of the things I want to accomplish that day. I am looking forward to resetting my Spark account with my current information and finding out what I weigh on Monday. That will be my starting point. Today my plan includes a 15 minute walk. It will be an indoor walk through the buildings halls as it is -10C...