GERIKRAGH's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=GERIKRAGH GERIKRAGH's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ A Touching Story http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925336 <BR> A <BR> Cup of Tea made with cold water <BR> One <BR> day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 <BR> years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one <BR> of my favorite toys. <BR> Grandpa <BR> was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a <BR> little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots <BR> of praise for such yummy tea, my Grandma came home. <BR> My <... Sat, 9 May 2015 13:26:02 EST God Has A Sense of Humor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5924481 <BR> There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: <BR> 1. He called everyone brother. <BR> 2. He liked Gospel. <BR> 3. He didn't get a fair trial. <BR> <BR> But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: <BR> 1. He went into His Father's business. <BR> 2. He lived at home until he was 3 0 . <BR> 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother <BR> was sure He was God. <BR> <BR> But then there were 3 equally good arguments th... Thu, 7 May 2015 21:09:08 EST Tech Support for Dummies http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5916874 <BR> Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? <BR> Customer: A white one... <BR> Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. <BR> Customer: Your left or my left? <BR> ************************ <BR> Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’. <BR> I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find... Fri, 24 Apr 2015 09:36:41 EST Gene Kelly Dancing in Old Fashioned Roller Skates http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5914723 You have no idea how good Gene Kelly was at Dancing <BR> Until you watch this. <BR> Look closely and notice these are not even shoe skates. <BR> They are the kind we had as a kid and came with a skate key. <BR> Amazing. I wonder how many times he fell before perfecting <BR> This routine. This is fantastic. It is unbelievable. If you’ve ever <BR> Roller -skated, you will find this impossible to believe!!! <BR> This fellow is really amazing!! He starts tap dancing about half way <BR> ... Mon, 20 Apr 2015 19:05:46 EST Ventriloquist http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5913548 Today at 10:24 AM <BR> <BR> A young ventriloquist is touring Sweden and puts on a show in a small fishing town. <BR> <BR> With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. <BR> <BR> Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, ´ I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype Swedish blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a huma... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 17:29:35 EST A Sad Minnesota Passing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5909085 <BR> <BR> <BR> Friends - this is almost too sad to forward but I felt I should. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday in Minneapolis of a yeast infection and traumatic complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. <BR> Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California... Fri, 10 Apr 2015 21:12:01 EST Non English Speaker http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908367 <BR> <BR> A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in despe ration, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to sho... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 14:40:13 EST The Night of April 1! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5903805 <BR> <BR> Defense Attorney: <BR> <BR> Will you please state your age? <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Little Old Lady: <BR> <BR> I am 85 years old. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Defense Attorney: <BR> <BR> Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Little Old Lady: <BR> <BR> There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm <BR> <BR> spring evening, When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and <BR> <BR... Wed, 1 Apr 2015 20:50:46 EST Fifty Shades of Grey http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5898690 <BR> Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. <BR> <BR> Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. <BR> <BR> Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. <BR> <BR> Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer. <BR> <BR> "Shoot Ron, how long you been... Tue, 24 Mar 2015 09:32:36 EST A Blonde's Year in Review http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5897000 <BR> <BR> January <BR> Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. <BR> <BR> February <BR> Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... <BR> Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> March <BR> Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... <BR> Box said ' 2-4 years!' <BR> <BR> April <BR> Trapped on escalator for hours ... <BR> Power went out!!! <BR> <BR> <BR> May <BR> Tried to make Kool-Aid.... Sat, 21 Mar 2015 12:49:52 EST Holy Stuff http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5892851 <BR> <BR> During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's Chosen People. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> 4. Mennonites do not recognize each other at the liquor store. <BR> <BR>... Sat, 14 Mar 2015 13:55:30 EST Murphy's Lesser Known Laws http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5886116 <BR> 1.. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. <BR> <BR> 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. <BR> <BR> 3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. <BR> <BR> 4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. <BR> <BR> 5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. <BR> <BR> 6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. <BR> <BR> 7 Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented ... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 09:40:58 EST Priceless http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5885410 <BR> <BR> A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving <BR> relationship with their husband. <BR> <BR> The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" <BR> All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the <BR> last time you told your husband you loved him?" <BR> Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. <BR> The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text to <BR> their hu... Mon, 2 Mar 2015 09:43:29 EST One Little Dot http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884342 <BR> <BR> A class was given a homework assignment to find out something Exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little Boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He Picked up a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard And sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. "It's a 'period'," he replied. "I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a 'period'?... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 16:28:20 EST Victoria's Secret http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5883736 <BR> A husband walks into 'Victoria's Secret' to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. <BR> He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price; the more sheer, the higher the price. <BR> <BR> Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. <BR> He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. <BR> <BR> Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), <BR> "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might a... Fri, 27 Feb 2015 12:11:54 EST Magic Beer http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5877311 <BR> <BR> A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the <BR> <BR> <BR> bar by himself. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after <BR> <BR> realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the <BR> <BR> man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?" <BR> <BR... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 09:37:53 EST Golf http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5872483 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" <BR> <BR> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" <BR> <BR> The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." <BR> <BR> He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather ... Mon, 9 Feb 2015 11:33:24 EST Balls http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871225 <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL. <BR> <BR> 2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING. <BR> <BR> <BR> 3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. <BR> <BR> <BR> 4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL. <BR> <BR> 5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. <BR> <BR> <BR> And... <BR> <BR> 6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF. <BR> <BR> <BR> THE ... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 11:48:08 EST Jokes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5870059 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Two people in the same grave... - Lawyer Jokes <BR> <BR> "Dad, are they allowed to put two people in the same grave?" <BR> <BR> "I don't think so, son. Why do you ask?" <BR> <BR> "Because that headstone over there says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> One Marine is better than... - Military Jokes <BR> <BR> A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hea... Thu, 5 Feb 2015 12:16:52 EST Men in Heaven http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5868759 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Heaven, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines: <BR> One line for the men who were true heads of their household, <BR> and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. <BR> <BR> <BR> "I want all the women to report to St. Peter." <BR> <BR> <BR> Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. <BR> <BR> <BR> The line of the men who were dominated b... Tue, 3 Feb 2015 15:10:56 EST Adam & Eve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5865337 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked. <BR> <BR> <BR> QUOTE: Success, Emerson <BR> "To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a l... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 15:36:41 EST Guitar http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5862818 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> Carlos told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting in the Jacuzzi. gThe next day she bought him an electric guitar.h <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Get to know the locals <BR> Wherever you go, locals are the key to finding out the best places to go whether it be for a nice dinner or to a deserted beach. Befriending locals can bring you knowledge of all the secret places that most tourists dream of. Take the time to talk to people and you'l... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 09:36:47 EST What? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859236 <BR> <BR> When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." <BR> <BR> Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. .. <BR> <BR> When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. <BR> <BR> <BR> I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the fu... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 04:54:10 EST What? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859235 <BR> <BR> When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." <BR> <BR> Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. .. <BR> <BR> When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader. <BR> <BR> <BR> I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the fu... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 04:54:07 EST Vaseline http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5858680 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a <BR> <BR> young woman with three small children running around at her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. <BR> <BR> Have you ever used the product?" <BR> <BR> She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." <BR> <BR> "If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?" "We use it for sex," she said. <BR> <BR> The researcher was a... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 11:33:35 EST Art Museum http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856487 <BR> <BR> A woman visited a modern-art gallery. One painting was bright blue with vivid orange swirls and the one hanging next to it was black with lime-green splotches. <BR> <BR> The artist stood nearby, so as politely as she could, the woman said to him, "I'm sorry, but I just don't understand you paintings." <BR> <BR> "I paint what I feel inside me," the artist replied. <BR> <BR> "I see," the woman replied innocently. "Have you tried Alka-Seltzer?" <BR> <BR> <BR> WAITING <BR> ... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 14:11:42 EST Political Strategy 101 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5854292 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’ <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’ <BR> <BR>... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 12:07:44 EST The Cowboy Solution http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5853475 <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> > I have lived, loved, lost and <BR> > loved again. Life is not easy,..... But it is what it <BR> > is. <BR> > <BR> > Cowboy rules <BR> > for: <BR> > Arizona, Texas , <BR> > Oklahoma , Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , <BR> > Montana , <BR> > Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Nevada, <BR> > and the rest of the "Wild West "are as <BR> > follows: <BR> > <BR> > 1. Pull your pants up. You look <BR> > like an idiot. <BR> > <BR> > 2. Turn your cap right, your head <BR> > ain't ... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 11:57:34 EST Accounts Payable http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5852789 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> Jim, a collections specialist, was on his first day of work for his new employer and was assigned to collect a past due balance from a company that was a customer of his employer. He had been provided with a standard script that he was to use where he was to ask for "Accounts Payable" when calling the customer so that he could talk with someone about the payment of the past due bill.He made the call, asked the receptionist for "Accounts Payable", and waited... Mon, 12 Jan 2015 14:57:15 EST Love Story http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5851764 <BR> <BR> Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. <BR> <BR> Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. <BR> <BR> On the one-mo... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 12:09:07 EST Government?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5850160 <BR> <BR> A great example of progressive, liberal thinking. <BR> <BR> <BR> The Federal Government, which has Tomahawk cruise missiles, Apache <BR> <BR> <BR> and Lakota helicopters and used the code name Geronimo in the attack <BR> <BR> <BR> that killed Osama bin Laden, officially objects to the name <BR> <BR> <BR> of the Washington Redskins. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Are you kidding me??? <BR> Fri, 9 Jan 2015 09:36:36 EST Employment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5839906 <BR> Teacher to a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?" <BR> <BR> "Yes, sir! I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another." <BR> <BR> "And what would they be doing then?" <BR> <BR> "Building boats!" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Spring Cleaning <BR> Are you ready to throw in the towel? Be sure that you have given the relationship your best shot. If you continually dump partners when things get rough, you will never be able to build the skills need... Sun, 28 Dec 2014 13:22:08 EST Snow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837009 You must try this site to see it snow for Christmas at your house. <BR> <BR> <BR> http://www.pusher.com.au/clients/pusher-<BR>christmas-2011 Mon, 22 Dec 2014 21:28:35 EST Parachutes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831848 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> Four people are in an airplane, the pilot, the smartest man in the world, the richest man in the world, and a punk teenager. The airplane experiences some difficulties, and the pilot informs the three passengers that the plane is going to crash, and there are only three parachutes on the plane. The richest man in the world takes one, because he says that his lawyers will sue everyone else on the plane if he doesn't survive. The smartest man in the world tak... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 09:37:39 EST Training Dolphins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5827159 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish three times a day. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Oven racks cleaning made easy <BR> Lay the oven rack on an old towel in the bathtub. Cover them with warm water and some ammonia, let it sit a while, the job will be much easier. <BR> <BR> <BR> Wed, 3 Dec 2014 20:32:49 EST Doctor Visit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825690 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> A couple was making their first doctors visit prior to the birth of their first child. After the exam, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the wife’s stomach with indelible ink. The man and his wife were curious about what the stamp was for, so when they got home, the man took out his magnifying glass to try to see what is was. In very small letters, the stamp said, “When you can read this, come back and see me.” <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Beautif... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 09:41:01 EST Robbery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824228 Thanks margemf: <BR> <BR> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted, behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point... Fri, 28 Nov 2014 11:15:15 EST Little Johnny http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823264 <BR> <BR> A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN... Wed, 26 Nov 2014 09:42:54 EST Frank Feldman http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5822285 <BR> <BR> People <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> ðM <BR> <BR> ðN <BR> Larry Kragh <BR> <BR> To <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Today at 8:59 AM <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. <BR> He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." <BR> Passenger: "Who?" <BR> Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy wh... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:10:55 EST Frank Feldman http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5822284 <BR> <BR> People <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> ðM <BR> <BR> ðN <BR> Larry Kragh <BR> <BR> To <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Today at 8:59 AM <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. <BR> He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank." <BR> Passenger: "Who?" <BR> Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did e... Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:10:00 EST Train Job Interview http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5820267 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> A brilliant young boy was applying for a job with the railways. The interviewer asked him: "Do you know how to use the equipment?" "Yes", the boy replied. "Then what would you do if you realized that 2 trains, one from this station and one from the next were going to crash because they were on the same track?" The young applicant thought and replied "I'd press the button to change the points without hesitation." "What if the button was frozen and wouldn't work?" ... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 18:57:34 EST Chinese Too Sick To Work http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5819526 <BR> <BR> Wong Chow calls into work and says, “I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, <BR> <BR> stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.” <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The boss says, “You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today. <BR> <BR> When I feel sick like you do, <BR> <BR> I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. <BR> <BR> That makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.” <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Two hours later Wong Chow calls again. <BR> <B... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 12:51:37 EST Too Druck http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816771 Thanks margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says, "No way buddy you're too drunk." <BR> <BR> A few minutes later the drunk comes in through the bathrooms, again he slurs, "give me a drink", bartender says "No man I told you last time you're too drunk" <BR> <BR> Five minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink, again the bartender says, "You're too drunk" <BR> <BR> The drunk scratc... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 13:22:20 EST It's Only Bubba http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815776 <BR> <BR> You may have heard on the news about a Southern California man who was <BR> put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned <BR> 100 guns and allegedly had 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his <BR> home.The house also featured a secret escape tunnel. <BR> <BR> By Southern California standards, someone owning 100,000 rounds is <BR> considered "mentally unstable." <BR> <BR> In Michigan, he'd be called "The last white guy still living in Detroit. <BR> <B... Wed, 12 Nov 2014 21:14:26 EST IRS Guilt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815125 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> A man wrote a letter to the IRS: “I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00. If I still can’t sleep, I will send the rest.” <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Greatness <BR> The price of greatness is responsibility. <BR> <BR> - Winston Churchill - <BR> <BR> Tue, 11 Nov 2014 20:13:50 EST Businessman and Son-In-Law http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5812509 Thank you again margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I am making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory everyday and learn the operation.” <BR> <BR> The son-in-law interrupted. “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see.” replied the father-in-law, “Well, then you’ll work in the office and take charge of s... Fri, 7 Nov 2014 10:29:19 EST Oz http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810788 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz? <BR> <BR> She had three men giving her directions. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Seven Simple Computer Security Tips <BR> · Use strong passwords. Choose passwords that are difficult or impossible to guess. Give different passwords to all accounts. <BR> <BR> · Make regular backups of critical data. Backups must be made at least once each day. Larger organizations should perform a full backup weekly and incremental backups ever... Tue, 4 Nov 2014 15:33:58 EST Olden Days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809957 You could hardly see for all the snow, <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Spread the rabbit ears as far as they go. <BR> Pull a chair up to the TV set, <BR> 'Good Night, David. Good Night, Chet.' <BR> My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter and I used to eat it raw sometimes, too. Our school sandwiches w... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 11:42:10 EST Good Fairy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5809308 Thanks margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Forty years of marriage.......... <BR> <BR> A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. <BR> She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." <BR> The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darl... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 11:54:55 EST Two Judges http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5807780 Thank you margemf: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Two judges from a small county happen to be stopped for speeding on the same day. They agree that there's no point in calling the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge; they'll just go ahead and hear each other's case. <BR> <BR> The next morning, one judge takes the bench, the other sits at counsel table. The first judge admits he's guilty, and the second judge suspends the fine and court costs for him. <BR> <BR> They then switch places, the ... Thu, 30 Oct 2014 21:08:27 EST