GEE-KNEE's SparkPeople Blog GEE-KNEE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Hello, my name is... Hello, my name is Jeannie and I'm a sugar junkie. So I've been on a sugar binge for over a week now... I'm feeling low energy. I'm feeling blue. It started on Halloween. I've eaten a ton of candy. It's going to stop today! I swear the first week is always the hardest, but I've done it before and I can do it again. I will have cravings. I will have withdrawals. I will Have determination and strength. I will be sugar free.. I'm sweet enough without it Sat, 7 Nov 2015 19:27:03 EST TGIF I am going to socialize this weekend a lot, but that means temptation. I want to endulge in moderation. I don't want to find myself in a sugar haze passed on the couch with wrappers all around me like the sugar junkie I can be. Tonight I'm going to stock up on the yummy healthy food, so when I go to my friends to help pass out candy and drink a few vodka sodas, I am surrounded by natural yummy food.. I'll get berries and salad. Some days a crate of berries is more fulfilling than candy f... Fri, 30 Oct 2015 08:17:58 EST long lost teddy bear I'm about to write about something very personal, and I'm probably going to delete this, maybe even right after I post it. My son just came in the living room with my childhood teddy bear and said, "mom isn't this yours". I slept with that bear for years, but the thoughts that flooded my head tonight, when I just saw it, were of the night I put him in a drawer. I was 16 and a very naive 16 year old. I had just gone on a date where I said "no", but was then over powered. I came home feeli... Wed, 28 Oct 2015 01:01:30 EST This weeks thoughts The last week wasn't my best week ever. I had the flu. One of my kids was cited months ago for alcohol possession and we had a court date for that. Dates were canceled. There were issues at work. My mood was just bleak and I felt scatterbrained. On Friday, I took my daughter to dinner where she gave me a lector about how I needed to be a strong independent woman and just get my stuff together. My son, when I said I felt blue, said "grattitude, tell me the three good things that happene... Sat, 24 Oct 2015 19:16:08 EST gratitude My friend gave me this book called "The Five Minute Journal". You start out in the morning writing what you're grateful for. The next spot is "what would make today great". Last is a daily affirmation. At night you reflect on 3 amazing things that happened today and what could have made the day great. Now I've read studies that say people who practice gratitude tend to be less depressed than people who don't. I've been taking a few moments of gratitude every night for years now. In lif... Sat, 17 Oct 2015 14:24:35 EST Crawling to the finish line Sunday I ran a half marathon... Well, it was more a crawl, than a run. I completed a Half marathon on Sunday. It was like 97 degrees. A vast amount of it was on the beach, facing the sun, with no shade, no breeze... No fun! It was brutal. Sweat dripping in my eyes. My feet swelling from the heat. It was the worst time I've ever done... And yet I'm glad I did it. I spent time with friends burning calories, making memories... And I completed the last of three halves needed for a nifty c... Mon, 12 Oct 2015 23:36:39 EST Celebrating Gains... My weight loss journey is really more of a pursuit of health and happiness journey. Sometimes I focus on the numbers... That number on the tag of my pants, the one on that little box I keep stepping on, but it's not so much about the number. It's about quality of life. It's about longevity. It's about being able to climb a mountain to see a beautiful view or letting go of stress with an amazing run. It's about being able to fit in a plane to travel internationally and walking all day sig... Sun, 27 Sep 2015 10:11:37 EST The Plan Today I did an easy 10.8 mile hike to help get ready for my up coming half marathon. I met 5 girls, early morning, and we all had our therapy time. One of them said sarcastically, "my husband tells me other women go shopping together". One friend responded "I hate shopping". I personally love shopping, but I do tend to meet a lot of friends for hikes and runs. This group does a lot of marathons and ragnars. They are a healthy group most of the time (with some happy hour exceptions). <BR... Sun, 27 Sep 2015 01:16:12 EST Peer Pessured Lunch Walks So as I sit here eating my cauliflower for dinner, I'm feeling very excited about some news I got today... Drum roll please.. My coworkers want to start walking during part of our lunch break. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is. This means forced social fitness.. It will help build momentum that will help me move forward. Two years ago, my treatment team all did a daily lunch workout. It really was one coworker and myself that sort peer pressured the others into joining (... Mon, 21 Sep 2015 22:51:13 EST Short Term Goals are Easy Breasy I have a date that I'm exited for in two weeks. Let's see how much I can tone up in two weeks. Let's see how clean I can eat for the next weeks. No crap for two weeks, that's easy right? No drinking for two weeks. Working out regularly for two weeks. I can do that. Even if it's only a few pounds, it's a few pounds. Plus I have a half marathon I need to start training for.... Longer term goals are to be down two sizes by my birthday in December. I can do that too. Next month I'm ta... Wed, 16 Sep 2015 23:47:31 EST Italy <img src="">I went to Italy the last few weeks of August. I walked everywhere. We walked 13-22 miles a day. I saw Rome, Florence, and Venice with a day trip to Pisa. I loved Venice the most. I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted. The first few days it was a lot of carbs, so much that my body didn't feel good. I'm used to a better diet than that. So then I upped the salads and fruit, and reeled in the ca... Sun, 13 Sep 2015 17:53:37 EST Tomorrow is a brand new day This morning there was some kind of texting misunderstanding between my dude and I. It started out all kissy face emoji and snugly warm, but then it turned south after I joked about something and he didn't get it that I was teasing. I think he might have broken up with me, but he seems to have retracted it, so I'm not sure. I guess we can straighten it out later. I used to run to the kitchen for comfort, but today I'm just not hungry, like I'm making my self eat. I cried a little. I s... Fri, 15 May 2015 00:42:52 EST Be the little engine I have new running shoes. My 14 year old gave them to me for Mother's Day. She bought them with money that she earned doing henna tattoos at the school carnival. My daughter just turned 14 and arranged everything on her own for this booth. She brought in like $400. That's a big deal at 14. This year, she also won second place in an art contest and drew the yearbook cover. Growing up, I was often told why I couldn't. I was defeated mentally before I even tried practically anything. I t... Wed, 13 May 2015 10:27:08 EST Food for the soul <img src=""> Today was beach walk and watch the sunset Tuesday. I came home and my daughter was complaining of not feeling well. I was prepared to brush it off and stay in, but evidently this new tradition means something to her because she came in with her shoes on and declared she was ready to go. We walked about 4 miles tonight on the beach, and then we found some comfy rocks and watched our Tuesday night sunset. There is something ... Wed, 13 May 2015 00:06:30 EST Just Go <img src=""> Yesterday I woke up at 4 and grumbled to myself that I didn't want to run the half marathon I had signed up for. I was tired and a bit achy. I contemplated ditching my friends and enjoying my Sunday in bed. Somewhere in my head a little voice said "just go!". I battle it out with myself all the time..this voice won yesterday. I got up out of bed and got ready. I knew the plan was to go lay out by the pool at my friends h... Mon, 4 May 2015 21:54:44 EST half marathon tomorrow I am running the OC half marathon tomorrow. It's not my first, but it's the first time doing the OC venue and I hear it's hilly. I've done lots of running lately, yet I'm not feeling ready. I'm sort of tired from the work week. I guess I just do my best and try better next time, if I don't finish in the time I want. Afterwards we are hanging out at my friends jacuzzi/swimming pool. Maybe I just focus on that. Sat, 2 May 2015 15:32:18 EST I ❤️ me <img src=""> This is my motto this year. I believe the reason my weight came off 6 years ago is I learned how to care for myself. I ate like I loved myself and I nourished my beautiful body with healthy food. I deserve healthy food. I deserve a healthy body. I made myself strong with exercise. I made myself limber with yoga. I even ate cake on occasion and didn't beat myself up for it. I did beautiful hikes and moved my body any w... Thu, 30 Apr 2015 22:17:51 EST Yoga Night Today is Wednesday and that means it's yoga night. I can't wait. For me, it's not just exercise, its spiritual centering. There are great messages taught at yoga, like "be in the present". If you're depressed, you may be stuck in the past. Anxiety is often from living in the future. Peace comes from living fully in the moment you are in. good stuff learned in yoga. Sometimes I go for free yoga at my park. Sometimes it's on the beach or in a studio, but I always get something out of... Wed, 29 Apr 2015 10:04:03 EST Sunset walks and 10,000 steps a day <img src=""> Tuesday nights are officially "beach walk, then watch the sunset night" with my 13 year old daughter. Sometimes my son joins us. This is our plan that was set a month ago, and we are doing it throughout summer. We may have to ride our bikes, if parking gets bad. We also have a bit of a competition to see who walks the most steps in a day, with 10,000 set as our minimum goal. We will go for an evening walk, or a run, if o... Wed, 29 Apr 2015 00:39:12 EST Namaste my friend Namaste... Can I just say I'm currently loving yoga. I had a hysterectomy in December and when I had the green light to work out again, I had no core strength. I was sitting in the back, hating yoga. The instructor tells the class to "define the intention for the night"... My answer in my head "uh... I'm here, that's good enough"... And I kept going. Sometimes I took the child's poise option (they always suggest that poise, if you need to stop and rest)... But I kept going. I took the mo... Thu, 23 Apr 2015 01:21:41 EST Here I go again Alright... My weight has snuck up. I fight it back down only to watch it sneak up more. I have had a tough year with some mystery health issues that have stressed me out, so obviously I need to focus more on stress management. I got divorced. I had my dad move in. There have been some stress at work.. Guy issues, family concerns, even surgeries... I'm not going to beat myself up, but it's time to get a little more stringent and meticulous with this. I am going back down... No more going... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 18:59:11 EST One More Time Im up two pant sizes and 25 pounds this year. This isn't the right direction for me. It's been a crazy year, with a divorce and two surgeries... I am not beating myself up. Life happens, but I can take back my control. I can pull it back together. I am going to enter the new year at least 10 pounds less than I am right now. I know how to do this. I know I am worth it. I can. I will! I am recommitting myself right now! Now!!! Sun, 17 Nov 2013 18:14:03 EST Stupid Infection I had a thigh and butt lift. Loose skin after massive weight loss sort of sucks. I have been so off track since then. It was only walking the first three weeks. I got the okay to start running again a few weeks ago, but at the same time I had a few stitches redone that ripped at work. Then I got a surgical site infection. I took the antibiotics, but the redness never fully cleared up. My energy has been low since then. I did some yoga, and a few short runs... but I just couldn't get ... Tue, 14 May 2013 13:59:53 EST Dancing Legs Friday, I went dancing. I had fun dancing. I am not a great dancer, but I enjoy moving around to a good beat. I went out with my coworker, who is a very sweet young woman. We started at a pub. We met a nice young guy who was new to town. We left the bar, in our heels, in search of dancing with our new friend. We asked some strangers that we met up the street about where the dance clubs were, and they told us to follow them. They led us to a bar playing hip hop music (I am more of an i... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:49:25 EST Mixed Feelings Usually I am feel incredibly proud to have lost around 185 pounds. I mean it took a lot of work. Thousands of fitness minutes were spent burning calories and shaping muscles. There were walks, runs, hikes, bike rides, yoga classes, spin classes, aerobic videos, weight training, hula hooping, and other various activities that were built into my life... and so much sweat and hard work went into losing weight. My diet was changed completely. Food that was killing me was swapped out for food... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 01:02:16 EST Losing 544 pounds and gaining friends <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have been on sparkpeople for a while now... I've lost 183 pounds and gained a better life. What I've gained means so much more to me, than what I've lost. I've gained strength, energy, endurance, confidence, a healthy lifestyle, muscle, years to my life expectancy, freedom, and friends. I love my spark friends because they are usually uplifting, positive, and like minded individuals that inspire me to live ... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 22:23:37 EST No Thank You Holidays So according to my Wii, I am 1.5 pounds away from being in the healthy BMI. This will be a first in my life. I am so motivated right now to finish this. It's been a very good week. <BR> <BR> We are having a work lunch party for a coworkers birthday on Friday, and our supervisor offered to pick up everyone tacos. I said "no thank you". I told her I'd just bring myself some chicken and eat the salad that I am bringing, and I told her that I was excited to reach the healthy BMI. Her res... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 08:08:28 EST Motivation Motivation.... A couple weeks ago I sort of lost my motivation, and I had to stop and look at what has driven me to this point. So let me list some past motivators. This way, if I misplace it again, maybe I can find it here. <BR> <BR> For starting- I wanted to be a better role model for my children. That is still something I want. I want healthy children with a healthy body image and an active and fun life. I know I lead by example. <BR> <BR> After starting- The less weight I carried... Sat, 17 Nov 2012 10:16:42 EST Oh Sugar! I don't know what happened last week. It started with incredibly yummy birthday cake for my sisters birthday last Sunday on the fourth... Oh wait, it actually started the day before with a slight stomach bug, in which everything ran through me, making me totally dehydrated and hungry. Then Sunday morning, I did an 8 mile run. So when I was given that first cocktail on Sunday afternoon, at my sister's birthday barbecue, it hit me hard. It was followed with another drink, and possibly anoth... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 21:38:01 EST What's Next, Bring It On! I like change, so I am always trying to think of what my step in life is going to be. For example, I work for a school district, but I've moved up in position four times since getting hired by the district. Now I know I need to get my butt in a MA program, so I can apply for supervision, and I am planning on doing that this year because I want to move to the next step. Status quo is not good enough! <BR> <BR> With fitness, it's kind of the same thing for me. Okay, I can do this, now ca... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 11:56:33 EST Teeny Weeny Jeannie Beanie in the Yellow (it's actually green floral) Polka Dot Bikini <img src=""> So my first bikini in 24 years finally showed up. Woo Hoo! I love the little retro tie on the top, and I think it's very cute. Although, I do wonder if the regular bikini bottoms would have been more flattering than the big old boy shorts that i picked out. I love retro stuff. I have areas I still want to improve (like I want a nice defined six pack, and I working on it), but 182 pounds down thus far, and I don't belie... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 23:30:26 EST Having Fun This morning I was just thinking about how much fun is important. Life should be fun. I went to a fortieth birthday party last night. My friend has a trampoline. After all the kids left, I made a few friends go jump on the trampoline with me. So there we were in our dresses with full make up and jewelry, jumping on the trampoline and just completely laughing. I loved it! This is one of those reason that I am thankful for my lifestyle change. I want to squeeze as much fun out of life a... Sun, 21 Oct 2012 15:38:52 EST In the 150's Yay!~ This is going to be short. I got on the wii to check my weight, and I am 158! I am finally in the 150's. I am a mere 8 pounds from the goal that I set back in 2008. That would be the goal that looked so daunting that I never imagined reaching, but 182 pounds down and 8 more pounds to go. YAY! I almost cried because I haven't been in the 150's EVER, well maybe pre fourth grade. I woke up my husband to show him and I danced around the living room for a while. Go Jeannie! go Jeannie! <... Mon, 15 Oct 2012 08:00:44 EST No Processed Foods for me in October... or else! I took a pledge during the weekend to eat only unprocessed foods during the month of October. <link><BR>sed-2012/ </link> This just seems like a very cool idea to me. Having lost nearly 180 pounds thus far by eating a fairly clean and healthy balance diet and exercising, I am all for this. Our bodies weren't made for processed food. The big food companies would love for us to believe that the 100 calorie diet snack (what is that made from?) is going... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:34:36 EST Good Week I love when I am in rhythm with my body. Sometimes eating well and exercising requires external support, and lots of rewards, constant redirection, lots pep talks to myself.... and sometimes I wake up and I want to move. I want to run. I have no urge to eat that donut or nibble on those chips. I am intrinsically motivated. My veggies look enticing. I have all the crap out of my system and my body gets in a natural healthy rhythm of eating well and moving. I am in one of those rhythms ... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 12:21:34 EST Bikini Romp I am anxiously awaiting a mail order package. Last week, I ordered a bikini, and even though the beach weather is coming to an end (it's so. Cal, sometimes it's beach weather on Christmas day), I can't wait to try on my bikini. I haven't worn a bikini since I was 16... and I weigh less and am in better physical shape then I was at 16. I am not perfect, but after losing 180 pounds, I am going to do a little bikini romping :) It seems like one should be able to bikini romp after losing that... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 22:16:37 EST Not again! Unemployed husband AGAIN. I am not going to let it get me down. I will manage the stress and my eating will be fine. As soon as I can afford it, I am applying to MA programs, so I can make a decent wage. <BR> <BR> I will run off the stress. I will do yoga... things will be fine. Sun, 9 Sep 2012 22:19:54 EST Three Weeks Post Op (with pictures) I am about to post pictures of my stomach. This is something that I never thought I'd do, but I like what I see right now. <BR> <BR> Let start at the beginning. I stretched my skin out to this size for about 17 years. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Then I lost 178 pounds. I felt/feel great, and when I was dressed I felt cute and attractive... but when I looked at this in the mirror, it made me sigh... extra skin is not so pretty. This is m... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 08:43:22 EST Looking at Pictures <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was looking at old pictures, and I just don't even recognize myself anymore. <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am not that person anymore. I mean somethings probably stayed the same, but my life is totally different. Like I look at old pictures and think "who is that?" <BR> <BR> It's just a little... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:58:05 EST Dear Body Dear Body, <BR> <BR> I am looking at you a little differently these days than I use to. I want to apologize for being so critical of you for a lot of years, especially the teens and early 20's. I know that I would belittle you and then I would treat you poorly and do things like not feed you enough, and then turn around and feed you all the wrong foods. I never nourished you the way you needed me to, the way that would have made you function the best. I would look at you with disgust and ... Thu, 9 Aug 2012 11:02:26 EST Greatness I don't usually watch TV these days, but I've been home recovering from surgery so I've watch a little bit this week. I have to say I saw this Nike ad the other day that made me swell up with tears. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>feature=player_embedded </link> <BR> <BR> I believe this... I have believed with all my heart that we all have greatness inside us and we just need to find it, for many years now. I even wrote a blog along this lines in 2009 <BR>... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 05:21:13 EST Recovering I am recovering well. On Monday I had somewhere between 5-7 pounds of skin removed from my stomach. On Tuesday, I stood in front of a mirror as the doctor took off my binder and showed me the amazing results for the first time. What do you know, there was a flat stomach under all that skin. I am a little bloated and puffy still, but I think once all that goes down, I am going to look amazing! I don't think I've ever had a flat stomach my whole life. My belly button looks all cute and pe... Sun, 5 Aug 2012 16:35:30 EST It Seems I Might Be Done I am very nervous and very excited at the same time. I am having abdominoplasty and a breast lift/augmentation on Monday. I took pre op pictures today at my plastic surgeons office, and my doctor said several times "you are all skin, there is no fatty tissue left, look at you". So I am thinking I might be done, we'll see how I look in a few week. I am excited to see my flat tummy, and the areas that shouldn't be flat, will be nice and full (nothing crazy, I told him no bigger than C's, bu... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 03:28:39 EST New Swimsuit <img src=""> <BR> I just purchased a bathing suit that i have been eyeballing for the last three years. My cousin's baby shower was a pool party yesterday. I actually put on my cute suit and got into the water for almost an hour. I was the only woman that got in the pool. There were men and kids, but for some reason none of the other women got in. I felt a little odd being the only woman, but I felt comfortable in my cute little retr... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 11:31:32 EST So Close I went below the lowest weight I remember weighing throughout jr. high and high school today. I hit a weight that my body hasn't seen since fourth grade or earlier. That is kind of trippy to me. <BR> <BR> I wore my favorite dress from from high school last week. I bought it at a low weight when I was 15. It didn't fit me by my junior year, but at age 40 it fits now better than it did at 15. I loved Esprit. I wore it to a pot luck, and I asked my husband and son to hike a hill with me aft... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 19:48:02 EST Still Shrinking <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I visit northern California almost every July. I visit this like little ghost town museum near Bishop, CA whenever I am there. I didn't make it last year, but I just returned back from visiting this year. I went to take a comparison shot this year. I am so so close to my goal weight right now. I am not that far off from where I was two years ag... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 16:48:16 EST Short and sweet I use to wear a 28 or 30... limiting me to stores like Lane Bryant. Today I went to Old Navy a tried on a.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Got them buttoned and zipped. I will be working off the muffin top this month. If I can do this, anyone can. There is nothing special about me... you can do this too. <BR> <img src=" Sat, 26 May 2012 16:43:02 EST Lunch Break Workouts and Sugar Wagers Sometime I can do this completely on my own. I always appreciate support, but there are times when my intrinsic motivation is at a peak. During these times, I will wake up looking forward to running in the mornings. My energy will be bouncing off the walls. I will savor and crave fresh fruits and veggies. I love those weeks/months. I become diligent and look forward to fitting in cute new clothes. I meet my goals with ease. I post status reports on FB like "13 miles-done" and I feel g... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:54:02 EST Four Years I am approaching my four year sparkaversary. Four years ago I weighed 340 pounds... today, I am in the 160's. Four years ago, I would get winded going around the street, and now I can run 3 miles pretty much without stopping... I did a marathon in run/walk intervals last year. Four years ago, I was wearing a size 28 or 30 and was limited to what I could buy. Today, I can buy clothes just about anywhere and recently got into a few 6's.... and I love it! Four years ago, I worked part time... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 23:19:04 EST Not my best week i only have a minute so this will be short.... I have had a bad week. It started with chips and salsa on Friday over a few skinny margaritas with a friend on Friday. Then Mexican food again for my sister's man's birthday the following night. On Monday, I got word that I was hand selected for a special team in my department. I will be doing assessments and not intervention (only 4 people from the 100 in our department will be doing this). Great career opportunity and I feel very flattere... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 08:52:31 EST