GEE-KNEE's SparkPeople Blog GEE-KNEE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Here I go again Alright... My weight has snuck up. I fight it back down only to watch it sneak up more. I have had a tough year with some mystery health issues that have stressed me out, so obviously I need to focus more on stress management. I got divorced. I had my dad move in. There have been some stress at work.. Guy issues, family concerns, even surgeries... I'm not going to beat myself up, but it's time to get a little more stringent and meticulous with this. I am going back down... No more going... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 18:59:11 EST One More Time Im up two pant sizes and 25 pounds this year. This isn't the right direction for me. It's been a crazy year, with a divorce and two surgeries... I am not beating myself up. Life happens, but I can take back my control. I can pull it back together. I am going to enter the new year at least 10 pounds less than I am right now. I know how to do this. I know I am worth it. I can. I will! I am recommitting myself right now! Now!!! Sun, 17 Nov 2013 18:14:03 EST Stupid Infection I had a thigh and butt lift. Loose skin after massive weight loss sort of sucks. I have been so off track since then. It was only walking the first three weeks. I got the okay to start running again a few weeks ago, but at the same time I had a few stitches redone that ripped at work. Then I got a surgical site infection. I took the antibiotics, but the redness never fully cleared up. My energy has been low since then. I did some yoga, and a few short runs... but I just couldn't get ... Tue, 14 May 2013 13:59:53 EST Dancing Legs Friday, I went dancing. I had fun dancing. I am not a great dancer, but I enjoy moving around to a good beat. I went out with my coworker, who is a very sweet young woman. We started at a pub. We met a nice young guy who was new to town. We left the bar, in our heels, in search of dancing with our new friend. We asked some strangers that we met up the street about where the dance clubs were, and they told us to follow them. They led us to a bar playing hip hop music (I am more of an i... Mon, 25 Mar 2013 22:49:25 EST Mixed Feelings Usually I am feel incredibly proud to have lost around 185 pounds. I mean it took a lot of work. Thousands of fitness minutes were spent burning calories and shaping muscles. There were walks, runs, hikes, bike rides, yoga classes, spin classes, aerobic videos, weight training, hula hooping, and other various activities that were built into my life... and so much sweat and hard work went into losing weight. My diet was changed completely. Food that was killing me was swapped out for food... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 01:02:16 EST Losing 544 pounds and gaining friends <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have been on sparkpeople for a while now... I've lost 183 pounds and gained a better life. What I've gained means so much more to me, than what I've lost. I've gained strength, energy, endurance, confidence, a healthy lifestyle, muscle, years to my life expectancy, freedom, and friends. I love my spark friends because they are usually uplifting, positive, and like minded individuals that inspire me to live ... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 22:23:37 EST No Thank You Holidays So according to my Wii, I am 1.5 pounds away from being in the healthy BMI. This will be a first in my life. I am so motivated right now to finish this. It's been a very good week. <BR> <BR> We are having a work lunch party for a coworkers birthday on Friday, and our supervisor offered to pick up everyone tacos. I said "no thank you". I told her I'd just bring myself some chicken and eat the salad that I am bringing, and I told her that I was excited to reach the healthy BMI. Her res... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 08:08:28 EST Motivation Motivation.... A couple weeks ago I sort of lost my motivation, and I had to stop and look at what has driven me to this point. So let me list some past motivators. This way, if I misplace it again, maybe I can find it here. <BR> <BR> For starting- I wanted to be a better role model for my children. That is still something I want. I want healthy children with a healthy body image and an active and fun life. I know I lead by example. <BR> <BR> After starting- The less weight I carried... Sat, 17 Nov 2012 10:16:42 EST Oh Sugar! I don't know what happened last week. It started with incredibly yummy birthday cake for my sisters birthday last Sunday on the fourth... Oh wait, it actually started the day before with a slight stomach bug, in which everything ran through me, making me totally dehydrated and hungry. Then Sunday morning, I did an 8 mile run. So when I was given that first cocktail on Sunday afternoon, at my sister's birthday barbecue, it hit me hard. It was followed with another drink, and possibly anoth... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 21:38:01 EST What's Next, Bring It On! I like change, so I am always trying to think of what my step in life is going to be. For example, I work for a school district, but I've moved up in position four times since getting hired by the district. Now I know I need to get my butt in a MA program, so I can apply for supervision, and I am planning on doing that this year because I want to move to the next step. Status quo is not good enough! <BR> <BR> With fitness, it's kind of the same thing for me. Okay, I can do this, now ca... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 11:56:33 EST Teeny Weeny Jeannie Beanie in the Yellow (it's actually green floral) Polka Dot Bikini <img src=""> So my first bikini in 24 years finally showed up. Woo Hoo! I love the little retro tie on the top, and I think it's very cute. Although, I do wonder if the regular bikini bottoms would have been more flattering than the big old boy shorts that i picked out. I love retro stuff. I have areas I still want to improve (like I want a nice defined six pack, and I working on it), but 182 pounds down thus far, and I don't belie... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 23:30:26 EST Having Fun This morning I was just thinking about how much fun is important. Life should be fun. I went to a fortieth birthday party last night. My friend has a trampoline. After all the kids left, I made a few friends go jump on the trampoline with me. So there we were in our dresses with full make up and jewelry, jumping on the trampoline and just completely laughing. I loved it! This is one of those reason that I am thankful for my lifestyle change. I want to squeeze as much fun out of life a... Sun, 21 Oct 2012 15:38:52 EST In the 150's Yay!~ This is going to be short. I got on the wii to check my weight, and I am 158! I am finally in the 150's. I am a mere 8 pounds from the goal that I set back in 2008. That would be the goal that looked so daunting that I never imagined reaching, but 182 pounds down and 8 more pounds to go. YAY! I almost cried because I haven't been in the 150's EVER, well maybe pre fourth grade. I woke up my husband to show him and I danced around the living room for a while. Go Jeannie! go Jeannie! <... Mon, 15 Oct 2012 08:00:44 EST No Processed Foods for me in October... or else! I took a pledge during the weekend to eat only unprocessed foods during the month of October. <link><BR>sed-2012/ </link> This just seems like a very cool idea to me. Having lost nearly 180 pounds thus far by eating a fairly clean and healthy balance diet and exercising, I am all for this. Our bodies weren't made for processed food. The big food companies would love for us to believe that the 100 calorie diet snack (what is that made from?) is going... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:34:36 EST Good Week I love when I am in rhythm with my body. Sometimes eating well and exercising requires external support, and lots of rewards, constant redirection, lots pep talks to myself.... and sometimes I wake up and I want to move. I want to run. I have no urge to eat that donut or nibble on those chips. I am intrinsically motivated. My veggies look enticing. I have all the crap out of my system and my body gets in a natural healthy rhythm of eating well and moving. I am in one of those rhythms ... Sun, 7 Oct 2012 12:21:34 EST Bikini Romp I am anxiously awaiting a mail order package. Last week, I ordered a bikini, and even though the beach weather is coming to an end (it's so. Cal, sometimes it's beach weather on Christmas day), I can't wait to try on my bikini. I haven't worn a bikini since I was 16... and I weigh less and am in better physical shape then I was at 16. I am not perfect, but after losing 180 pounds, I am going to do a little bikini romping :) It seems like one should be able to bikini romp after losing that... Sat, 22 Sep 2012 22:16:37 EST Not again! Unemployed husband AGAIN. I am not going to let it get me down. I will manage the stress and my eating will be fine. As soon as I can afford it, I am applying to MA programs, so I can make a decent wage. <BR> <BR> I will run off the stress. I will do yoga... things will be fine. Sun, 9 Sep 2012 22:19:54 EST Three Weeks Post Op (with pictures) I am about to post pictures of my stomach. This is something that I never thought I'd do, but I like what I see right now. <BR> <BR> Let start at the beginning. I stretched my skin out to this size for about 17 years. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Then I lost 178 pounds. I felt/feel great, and when I was dressed I felt cute and attractive... but when I looked at this in the mirror, it made me sigh... extra skin is not so pretty. This is m... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 08:43:22 EST Looking at Pictures <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I was looking at old pictures, and I just don't even recognize myself anymore. <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am not that person anymore. I mean somethings probably stayed the same, but my life is totally different. Like I look at old pictures and think "who is that?" <BR> <BR> It's just a little... Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:58:05 EST Dear Body Dear Body, <BR> <BR> I am looking at you a little differently these days than I use to. I want to apologize for being so critical of you for a lot of years, especially the teens and early 20's. I know that I would belittle you and then I would treat you poorly and do things like not feed you enough, and then turn around and feed you all the wrong foods. I never nourished you the way you needed me to, the way that would have made you function the best. I would look at you with disgust and ... Thu, 9 Aug 2012 11:02:26 EST Greatness I don't usually watch TV these days, but I've been home recovering from surgery so I've watch a little bit this week. I have to say I saw this Nike ad the other day that made me swell up with tears. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>feature=player_embedded </link> <BR> <BR> I believe this... I have believed with all my heart that we all have greatness inside us and we just need to find it, for many years now. I even wrote a blog along this lines in 2009 <BR>... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 05:21:13 EST Recovering I am recovering well. On Monday I had somewhere between 5-7 pounds of skin removed from my stomach. On Tuesday, I stood in front of a mirror as the doctor took off my binder and showed me the amazing results for the first time. What do you know, there was a flat stomach under all that skin. I am a little bloated and puffy still, but I think once all that goes down, I am going to look amazing! I don't think I've ever had a flat stomach my whole life. My belly button looks all cute and pe... Sun, 5 Aug 2012 16:35:30 EST It Seems I Might Be Done I am very nervous and very excited at the same time. I am having abdominoplasty and a breast lift/augmentation on Monday. I took pre op pictures today at my plastic surgeons office, and my doctor said several times "you are all skin, there is no fatty tissue left, look at you". So I am thinking I might be done, we'll see how I look in a few week. I am excited to see my flat tummy, and the areas that shouldn't be flat, will be nice and full (nothing crazy, I told him no bigger than C's, bu... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 03:28:39 EST New Swimsuit <img src=""> <BR> I just purchased a bathing suit that i have been eyeballing for the last three years. My cousin's baby shower was a pool party yesterday. I actually put on my cute suit and got into the water for almost an hour. I was the only woman that got in the pool. There were men and kids, but for some reason none of the other women got in. I felt a little odd being the only woman, but I felt comfortable in my cute little retr... Sun, 15 Jul 2012 11:31:32 EST So Close I went below the lowest weight I remember weighing throughout jr. high and high school today. I hit a weight that my body hasn't seen since fourth grade or earlier. That is kind of trippy to me. <BR> <BR> I wore my favorite dress from from high school last week. I bought it at a low weight when I was 15. It didn't fit me by my junior year, but at age 40 it fits now better than it did at 15. I loved Esprit. I wore it to a pot luck, and I asked my husband and son to hike a hill with me aft... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 19:48:02 EST Still Shrinking <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I visit northern California almost every July. I visit this like little ghost town museum near Bishop, CA whenever I am there. I didn't make it last year, but I just returned back from visiting this year. I went to take a comparison shot this year. I am so so close to my goal weight right now. I am not that far off from where I was two years ag... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 16:48:16 EST Short and sweet I use to wear a 28 or 30... limiting me to stores like Lane Bryant. Today I went to Old Navy a tried on a.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Got them buttoned and zipped. I will be working off the muffin top this month. If I can do this, anyone can. There is nothing special about me... you can do this too. <BR> <img src=" Sat, 26 May 2012 16:43:02 EST Lunch Break Workouts and Sugar Wagers Sometime I can do this completely on my own. I always appreciate support, but there are times when my intrinsic motivation is at a peak. During these times, I will wake up looking forward to running in the mornings. My energy will be bouncing off the walls. I will savor and crave fresh fruits and veggies. I love those weeks/months. I become diligent and look forward to fitting in cute new clothes. I meet my goals with ease. I post status reports on FB like "13 miles-done" and I feel g... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 08:54:02 EST Four Years I am approaching my four year sparkaversary. Four years ago I weighed 340 pounds... today, I am in the 160's. Four years ago, I would get winded going around the street, and now I can run 3 miles pretty much without stopping... I did a marathon in run/walk intervals last year. Four years ago, I was wearing a size 28 or 30 and was limited to what I could buy. Today, I can buy clothes just about anywhere and recently got into a few 6's.... and I love it! Four years ago, I worked part time... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 23:19:04 EST Not my best week i only have a minute so this will be short.... I have had a bad week. It started with chips and salsa on Friday over a few skinny margaritas with a friend on Friday. Then Mexican food again for my sister's man's birthday the following night. On Monday, I got word that I was hand selected for a special team in my department. I will be doing assessments and not intervention (only 4 people from the 100 in our department will be doing this). Great career opportunity and I feel very flattere... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 08:52:31 EST Nodda, Null, Nothing..... I am 168... still... shoot.... Ok... let's look at the week and try to figure out why it didn't move this week. First, I ate a nice Valentine's (and 20 years with my husband) dinner with several citrus basil martinis (they were yummy). I even ate the cupcake at the end. I've eaten out a few times this week, and even though I've done my best to pick healthy choices, salt and other things are still probably higher than it would be at home. <BR> I've been a little stressed because I am bein... Sun, 19 Feb 2012 17:51:31 EST Check it Out! <img src=""> This is going to be a short blog... because a picture says a thousand words. <img src=""> <BR> Throughout my twenties, and most of my thirties, I was between a size 28-30. In high school, I ranged from 13-16 (but that was 1980's sizes which I know are smaller than sizes today). <img src=""> <img src="http://photos-... Wed, 15 Feb 2012 00:14:20 EST 9 mile runs, and pre fourth grade weight...and other thoughts Yesterday I went for 9 mile run/walk with my dog... I wanted to do 10, but my dog looked tired. I wanted to run more, but my dog was running behind me barely keeping up for the last 3 miles, so I slowed down for her. Next weekend, I might leave the dog at home. Then I can do 10 miles and I can do the two mile trail at my parks nature center (no dogs allowed). I love the Nature Center, it makes me forget that I am in the city... I'll have to post pictures sometime. I live by a huge and ... Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:34:16 EST So Cool! One seventy one.... ahh.... I haven't seen that number as an adult. I think I was 16 or 17 the last time I saw that on MY scale. I have lost 169 pounds and one more will make it half of my body weight. It's so so cool to me! It feels good to be going down, to be shrinking. <BR> <BR> I wore my size 8 pants proudly today and I have to say, the girls I know in 8's are all pretty skinny looking to me. Am I really in that group? I tried on 8's in like 7 different brands to make sure it was... Wed, 8 Feb 2012 21:00:10 EST this is what my main page use to say... When I set my page in 2008... this is what I wrote. A few years later, I think I am changing it, a little update. I didn't want to delete it, so I am saving it here in a blog. <BR> <BR> Me + A Healthy Lifestyle = A Better Me <BR> <BR> I just want to be healthy. My appearance is not a very big motivator because I know the packaging is not the whole package,.. but as a mother, who recently earned her B.A. in psychology, I want to have the energy to do all the things in life that I want to d... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 11:04:13 EST Me and the Scale are friends this morning! The short story.... over 300 pounds for 15 plus years... found sp lost 168... husband lost his job, and I work two jobs... marital issues... financial issues.. started new job... I am up over 40 pounds. Today I am back down to my lowest weight and headed back towards the goal! :) <BR> <BR> Next milestone... if I lose 3 more pounds I will be able to say I weigh exactly the same amount that I lost... i will be literally half my the weight of my old self :) I can do 3 pounds. <BR> <BR> Fri, 3 Feb 2012 08:49:54 EST I can see the finish line Okay... from here on out it's nothing but milestones for me. After losing 168 and then relosing about 40 pounds.... I can finally see the finish line. The distance from where I am now to where I want to be is full of milestones. Right now, I am sprinting towards that finish line. <BR> <BR> I lose 2 more pounds and I am back at the lowest that I got down to when I was losing two years ago (before my husband's layoff, before working two jobs, before relationship turmoil,...). Three poun... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:42:55 EST The Holidays Are Over I re-lost a little over 30 pounds from October until my birthday on December 12th. Since my birthday it has gone like this.... walk 8 miles/lose some weight.... eat some cake/gain some weight.... drinks with friends weight goes up/have a good run and a few good days and the weight goes down.... dinner out weight went up/go hiking the weight goes down.... from December 12th until today, it's been a bust. I've maintained. I enjoyed my holidays and my birthday and I've maintained.... I gu... Mon, 16 Jan 2012 09:16:13 EST Just an Update This has been a crazy year for me and not much weight loss has happened. In fact until recently a bit of weight was gained, but life has been lived. I have been re-losing some weight that I gained this year the last few months. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I went to Paris this year and it was beautiful. I bought a new Anthropologie dress for everyday I was in Paris. Airplane seats are more comfortable now than when I weighed over 300 pounds... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 15:52:13 EST Work Less, Live More I called in sick today. I am sick, and I've been sick for about 3 weeks now. I was have basically been sick off and on since mid February. I have been working a full 40 hour job and another evening job since Jan. 31st. Tuesdays and Thursday I work 8 in the morning until 8 in the evening (MWF it's 8-4:30). It is a doable schedule, but I think it's been wearing me down and lowering my immune system. I find I eat more on those days. I finally quit the second job yesterday. I figured it... Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:09:25 EST I was an exercise junkie I have been sidetracked this year... I think I put on a few pounds but I haven't stepped on the scale in a while to verify it. I need to refocus and find the inner athlete again. I was an exercise junkie last year. The rush of working out... the endorphins... I couldn't get enough, and the more I did, the more I needed for that same fix. I started out with walking, the gateway exercise, and then before I knew it, I was walking like 5 miles every morning. As I lost weight (all 160 pounds... Thu, 24 Mar 2011 01:38:25 EST Christmas Cookies Last year I was diligent and I rarely ate anything with white flour or sugar in it. This year I have eaten way too many Christmas cookies. Today that ends. I am swearing off the cookies until next year. I notice when I don't eat sugar, I don't crave it either. I know people are well intentioned giving me chocolate and cookies at Christmas time, but it's like giving an ex addict cocaine or a recovered alcoholic a bottle of wine. I gave out boxes of tea to coworkers this year.... it will ... Mon, 20 Dec 2010 08:53:40 EST Change and Motion Change is always exciting and scary for me, but it is part of life. I have, over the years, noticed that one big life change seems to snowball into other big life changes. "From a tiny spark may burst a mighty flame". <BR> <BR> When my kids were little I was kind of stuck... a super morbidly obese, slightly unhappy, tired, lonely, stay at home, college drop out, mother. The first change I made was going back to school and finishing that degree. I got better grades then I did as a younge... Fri, 10 Dec 2010 09:22:29 EST Happy Thanksgiving, I Ran the Turkey Trot this morning. This morning I participated in my local Turkey Trot. I ran the 10k last year. This year I did a 5K with my mother, sister, and 9 year old daughter and the 10K with my sister. The 5K I kept pace with my mother and daughter throughout the beginning (it was slow), and then I got to run off by myself for the last half. I finished in 41 minutes. Then immediately after, I ran the 10K with my sister. I finished in 1 hour 18 minutes, which is a minute longer than it took me last year. I felt l... Thu, 25 Nov 2010 16:51:35 EST The Turkey Trot Last year my sister and I ran the 10k in our local Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving. This year my sister and I wanted to do the 10K Turkey Trot again. <BR> My daughter and my mother were inspired last year to sign up the 5k this year. So my sister and I were like, "no problem, we will walk the 5k with you and then run the 10k".... then we are going to even walk back to her place which is a few mile away from the event. Hmmm.... I added it up about a month ago, I realized it was like the dist... Wed, 24 Nov 2010 20:33:23 EST Progress I have had a few really good weeks, and the weight I had gained has been dropping off like crazy. I have lost like 12 of the 20 pounds that I gained. I got back in my size 10 jeans yesterday... that felt good. 12 down... 30 more to go.. I can do this. <BR> <BR> Exercising regularly again feels so good, better than wearing the smaller jeans. Sat, 25 Sep 2010 11:47:39 EST Prime of My Life My husband made a reference yesterday about how we never went anywhere when we were in our "prime". I don't believe that was my prime. Maybe MY prime is today, or in the future. I feel better than I did in my 20's. I am not 300 pounds..., being 300 pounds doesn't feel "prime" to me. Running in that half marathon felt more "prime" to me. I like my 30's and I think the 40's will be even better. Age is just a number. My life has only just begun. Sat, 11 Sep 2010 17:44:40 EST Finally a good week!!! This week has gone well. I only missed one day of fitness. I had two nice hour long walks with my spark friends EVETROY and LILHLFPINT early in the week. I was brave enough to get back on the scale on Wednesday. Today I have posted a current weight. It's not great, but I will get it back down. It feels good to be honest and true to myself. Admitting how much I gained is a good step. Today it was down more than a pound since Wednesday. I feel better, now that I am walking and eating b... Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:56:44 EST Today Today starts a new school year for me. Today, I started my year off with a walk. I am going to eat healthy food today. Hopefully, now that my work routine is a little more back to normal, I will start to succeed again. I did not do so well over the summer, but I am putting that behind me and focusing on good choices today. Today is going to be a good day. Wed, 8 Sep 2010 12:48:49 EST I Have Grown While Shrinking/ I love Sparkpeople A little over two years ago, I was super morbidly obese. I was a good friend, a good mom, a great student, a nice classroom/PTA volunteer, a friendly Girl Scout Leader, and a good employee, but I was tired and there were a lot of fears that were holding me back in life. <BR> <BR> The person I am today is not the person that I have been. I used to be scared of everything, and it was stifling. I only applied to one graduated program because I was afraid of driving on the freeway (I did no... Thu, 12 Aug 2010 10:53:36 EST