FUNKIBREWSTR's SparkPeople Blog FUNKIBREWSTR's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community My name is Lyndsay and I "Self-Sabotage".. So am I the only person who has to actually sit myself down and ask myself if I actually want something? I know that I want to lose weight, and I know what it takes to make it happen, but at the same time I just want it to come easy. I know that it will probably never be anything that comes easy and of course you have to work for it, but sometimes I actually have to ask myself if I really want it. My doctor wants me to start looking into bariatric surgery and I’m really not looking forward to... Thu, 8 Aug 2013 21:55:20 EST Baby Steps I really want to make so much in my life change. And I can either make it happen or watch myself fail. Failure hurts so much. I don't want failing to be an option. I'm tired of letting myself down. So what I'm going to do is <em>227</em> . STOP letting myself down. STOP standing in my own way. STOP quitting in the middle of progress and allowing myself to fall back into the place I always land. I want to change for good. I want to be able to look back at myself on July 24th 2014 and say my go... Wed, 24 Jul 2013 22:52:03 EST My friends vs My struggle I have pretty much been the overweight friend for about as long as I can remember. I have never been more than the fat one of the group. At some point, I started making friends with other people who were big like me so that I could talk to someone about how I feel. About how I want to lose weight and about how I wish I could change my body. This might sound weird, but my slimmer friends don't understand my struggle. When I feel proud of myself for getting 5 miles in an hour on the elliptical,... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 23:26:39 EST I don't know how to juggle I'm young. I always need to remind myself that I'm only 23. I have such high expectations for myself, and I of course expect to see every change that I want to make as soon as I start trying. Life clearly doesn't work like that, but I still have a hard time accepting it. I want to eat healthier, I want to feel like I need to work out in order for my day to feel complete. I want to do better in school, I want to keep the job that I currently have and move up when given the chance. I want to be... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 23:18:46 EST What have you done right this week? This week the only thing I've done right so far is make sure to get my squats and crunches in before going to bed. I want to see results but I haven't been eating right lately. It doesn't help that I'm not in control of the groceries, but I need to get myself on board and together. Tue, 16 Jul 2013 22:11:55 EST