FOUTZIOUS's SparkPeople Blog FOUTZIOUS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community The sorta bad news Went to see my doctor today. I'd been experiencing some joint pain and incredibly awful foot pain, especially during exercise, so I thought I'd visit the doc and see what was happening. What she told me was not really what I wanted to hear. It's not horrible, and I haven't done anything wrong. But it does make things complicated. <BR> <BR> Basically she says because I haven't "used these muscles in a long time" they're tense, and therefore they hurt--especially the knee. Over time, with prop... Tue, 9 Jun 2015 23:25:41 EST A work-free summer? Yes, please! Good news/weird news: I'm not working this summer! <BR> <BR> This means I'm free to do all the things I can't do during the year. Like work out every day. <BR> <BR> I had to take a break from working out pretty much all of last month because... yes, I got sick. It started as a tickle in my throat and three days later turned into phlegm and a really scary fever. The entire sickness lasted 2 1/12 weeks and because of my history of bronchitis I was worried I might have to go to the doctor and ... Mon, 8 Jun 2015 23:32:09 EST 4/12/2015 Worked out for another 35 minutes today. It's really difficult to do it in the living room, because it's a small space. My apartment isn't small, but it's not very big either, and my coffee table is massive. It's one of those cool coffee tables where the top is on springs/hinges and can lift up, so there's storage inside. It's kind of neat, but I'm a little tired of it. And my husband pretty much refuses to get rid of it. (And that kind of makes sense... it was free, and if I get rid of it I'... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 23:56:35 EST Moving Forward Today, I feel powerful and capable. <BR> <BR> I am a very confident person. But having an awareness of these feelings is exciting. <BR> <BR> I realized something. I have always tried so hard to just focus on eating better, and it has always been incredibly difficult. It's not difficult because I have a mountain of bad habits--I don't! I have never been a fan of fast food. I grew up eating homemade goodness at every meal. We baked our own bread, grew vegetables, and even roasted our own cof... Sat, 11 Apr 2015 18:45:54 EST Life post-surgery (The Little C) So I had surgery about a month ago. Everything was fine, no complications. The results, however, are less than pleasant. <BR> <BR> I have pre-cancer. At this point I only have a 5% chance of getting full-blown cancer, but it's still a pretty big deal. I have to do 3-9 months of therapy, in pill form for the time being. <BR> <BR> I swear, I go to the doctor every other week. And I have to see a cancer doctor now, which is just bizarre. It was truly strange to be the only person younger than ... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 19:49:11 EST January/February Update Life is chaos, as usual. But! I have time for some updates. <BR> <BR> While I haven't been tracking food (and haven't been... like a slacker) I am getting back on track. Lots of salads! Now that my husband has clearance to make all the salads he wants at work (he's a chef) I basically made up my own recipe. I used to ignore the salads because all the ones on the menu were full of calories or croutons or other things I didn't want. but now I get to make up my own salad. <BR> <BR> Here are t... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 18:59:25 EST Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Beyond Hard to believe over a month has gone by since I was here! Life has just been a bit overwhelming since Thanksgiving. <BR> <BR> First we had to fix the car. The whole car debacle made Thanksgiving very hectic and therefore it was a shortened trip. It was also not cheap, so money was tight, and for a while we were worried that there wouldn't be a Christmas this year (which would have sucked because I'd already bought all of my husband's presents, and he hadn't done any shopping at all...) <BR... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 23:48:32 EST November Update Well, I thought I had relief. Still feeling sick off and on. I am definitely getting the sense it's stress related, but happens more when I'm ANTICIPATING something than when I am IN a stressful situation. <BR> <BR> I think much of the stress of this month is over. Just a few weeks left. I fell off the bandwagon a little last week because a friend was in town and we went out to eat a lot. I'm not complaining, and I'm not even that worried about it. I actually loved being able to make well-r... Thu, 20 Nov 2014 23:07:38 EST Relief! My body is in remission from... whatever was wrong with it. At least for now. I can't say that going gluten free helped, because I definitely didn't give up gluten 100% of the time. Perhaps it needed a temporary detox or something. <BR> <BR> I am also feeling relaxed that I haven't tracked food in a few days. It doesn't mean I haven't been paying attention--I certainly have! But it's nice to know that when I'm too busy to track my food I can still keep myself accountable. <BR> <BR> But that... Wed, 12 Nov 2014 21:58:41 EST Gluten-free.... I have officially begun my gluten free diet. I will start by saying... it is not fun. <BR> <BR> I've done it before. In high school, when I was suddenly allergic to everything, I stopped eating gluten. It was horrible, and didn't last long, because there was basically nothing I could eat. I wasn't deathly allergic and so we gave up the diet. <BR> <BR> It's even harder now because I'm paying for the stupid gluten free food myself. Typically we can spend $20 a week on groceries. This time, it... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 20:54:43 EST Good news! and not-so-good news So I went to the doctor yesterday, for this never-ending mystery sickness. She said she doesn't know what's wrong with me. She seemed irritated that I stopped eating vegetables, but I think if she were in my shoes... she'd do the same thing, at least most of the time. <BR> <BR> I miss broccoli. And asparagus. I miss asking my husband to bring home huge boxes of vegetables from work, knowing I could eat my fill of them without making myself feel awful. <BR> <BR> She also wants me to go glu... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 19:46:43 EST Progress. Sort of. It's Saturday! And we all know why Saturdays are awesome. I get to sleep in... and I get to relax when I eat. I have never appreciated this more, since going on this adventure into Mysterious Illness-ville. I've had my fill of low-sodium soup and crackers for the week. It's hard to enjoy food when almost everything makes me sick AND I have to limit calories and salt. I've said that a lot lately... but it really is aggravating. <BR> <BR> The really nice thing about today is that I got to go ... Sat, 11 Oct 2014 17:16:04 EST Still sick I am still sick. For a few days I was actually getting better. Little by little, feeling like a normal person. I never regained my energy but I could feel the antibiotics doing their job and all the probiotics in the yogurt did their job. The slew of medications I was suddenly forced to take each day actually seemed to be working, and I had begun to hope I would soon be back to health. Fully functional. BETTER. <BR> <BR> And then I got horribly sick again. Of course, it was on a day I had to... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 03:50:31 EST Thoughts on motivation For the first time in my life I have something to be truly motivated about. You see, I actually don't care that much about being overweight, at least on the surface. I am quite happy being a plus-sized woman, because it's never kept me from really enjoying my life. All of the things I love doing are still doable, and pleasant. But what I want--what I REALLY want--is not possible because of my weight. <BR> <BR> It's hard to explain that I'm not in this for me. I mean, yeah, it would be "nice... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 19:08:14 EST Grumble grumble I'm just going to admit it... this was not a great week. Parts of it were quite bad. <BR> <BR> Now, people that know me, know that unsolicited advice is a quick way to piss me off. So if I say I had a bad week, just let me have my feelings. Don't give me advice. Don't put a "silver lining" on me. I don't need your silver lining. I WILL be okay without it. <BR> <BR> My bad week had nothing to do with food, or sleep, or exercise. <BR> <BR> My body is still sick. I am constantly aware of t... Sat, 4 Oct 2014 17:58:13 EST October Very slowly feeling better. Not all the way better, just... better than last week, I guess. <BR> <BR> I do get to have a little fun this week, though. Typically I don't track food on the weekends, but I'm trading Saturday and Sunday for Thursday and Friday. I have a friend coming up to visit me tomorrow night, and then I have a party on Friday. <BR> <BR> There's a chance I'll still be within my limit on Thursday, because we're not doing dinner, so I might get away with just buying coffee. ... Wed, 1 Oct 2014 14:28:37 EST The uphill climb I ate too much food yesterday. Not all at once, but over time. I can reasonably blame it on being sick. And not being able to track my food at all times. (Because I don't have a smart phone, so anybody about to say "download the app!" can shut up.) <BR> <BR> I won't let myself feel bad about it. Don't have time for that. <BR> <BR> I also had coffee yesterday, for the first time in a week. (It was not the cause of my calorie overload, promise!) It was beautiful, but unlikely to happen agai... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 12:34:26 EST All drugged up At this point, I'm really glad I committed myself to not tracking calories on the weekends.... because otherwise I wouldn't be able to eat anything. I went to the dentist (YAY!!!!) but now I can't eat anything hard/crunchy/hot/cold/chewy/etc. Basically I can only eat squishy comfort foods at room temperature. <BR> <BR> I should also mention I haven't eaten all day, hahaha... yeah. That's what tooth pain will do to you. <BR> <BR> So for dinner I'm having antibiotics and macaroni and cheese,... Sat, 20 Sep 2014 21:58:39 EST GRRRR Being sick really makes everything hard. I mean, being sick is hard normally. But when you're trying to track every calorie you eat, it's insanely difficult. Add to the equation my wisdom teeth finally coming in (and making my head feel like it's splitting in two)... eating is basically impossible. <BR> <BR> I know that not everyone here is of the spiritual persuasion, but for myself I believe that when I want to do something good, the devil tries his best to stop me. So in the last few week... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 20:13:08 EST All smiles Just got back from my retreat, about 2 hours ago. Man.... I'm tired. But I feel SO GOOD. I had forgotten how big that hill was, and how much walking there was... I mean, sheesh! <BR> <BR> I have also begun to eat vegetables again, but the sickness has not yet left my body. I'm hoping that getting my lab samples finished tomorrow and seeing the doctor on Wednesday will help me figure this out. <BR> <BR> All in all, feelin' awesome. Looking forward to the coming week. Sun, 14 Sep 2014 22:26:29 EST A bump in the road I went to the emergency room last night. It was the first time I'd ever been to a hospital as the patient. I've visited relatives, friends. I've never been the one with the little plastic bracelet. <BR> <BR> I've been experience flu-related symptoms for about 2 weeks. It was disrupting my work, and I have a retreat this weekend, so I decided I needed to go and get things figured out before I spent three days in the woods. <BR> <BR> We got there at about 10:45pm, and left at about 4am. Nee... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 18:02:53 EST All the news is good news It's been about 6 months. I know. And nobody has any right to call me out for not being here. It's my story. <BR> <BR> From January to the end of August, I had 2 jobs. They were both wonderful. I was exhausted, but in all the right ways. I was always finding new ways to teach, new ideas for different students. The summertime was hard only because my husband and I were often on opposite schedules, and we share a car. <BR> <BR> We finally got health insurance mid-June. Don't ask me why, but... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 17:53:42 EST I'm still alive. Really. But... I have 2 jobs now. <BR> <BR> I do so much lesson planning and teaching, you'd think I liked it or something. ;) I really do like it, actually. I'm enjoying myself, and working hard. But I definitely don't have time to be here. <BR> <BR> I think the problem with programs like these is that they assume everybody has a smart phone so they can just track this stuff all the time. I don't. I do not have a smart phone. Yeah, you read that right. I don't even have a texting plan. Every time... Sat, 15 Feb 2014 23:51:48 EST Messy I'm a messy person. Always have been. I have learned to not label myself as "lazy" because in all honesty, this just comes with the whole "artistic personality" territory. I start ten projects and finish two. I require lots of fuel and so there are always 2-3 coffee cups at my desk, some of them half full. When I'm "in the zone" I have to sit and finish, which means garbage stays nearby and doesn't always get taken care of in a timely fashion. <BR> <BR> Like I've said before, I have to capit... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 14:47:41 EST Routines and trees and... another request Tonight I had turkey burgers and corn on the cob for dinner. (The corn on the cob was originally for a camping trip... which was cancelled. Twice.) So tasty! Plus it's a nice change from the "quick" food we've been eating all week. (which consists of things we can easily make a bunch of ahead of time. it gets pretty boring.) Now that things are in full swing it's hard to make time for really complicated foods, because A. They take time to make, and we're not home long enough to make them and ... Sun, 27 Oct 2013 00:30:45 EST A simple request I have a request. I want to go home for Christmas. But I need your help. <BR> <BR> So, you'll have to go read my blog first. <link><BR>hameless.html </link> <BR> <BR> And that's all I have to say. :) <BR> <BR> Sat, 19 Oct 2013 15:36:51 EST Gettin' in the groove of things Tutoring has been going full swing for just over a month now, and I am loving having something to do at least a few days a week. It's finally fall here--48 degrees today! The house is a mess but it's nice to be active again. <BR> <BR> Having something to do lets me sleep better, which I love. Having something to do (outside of the apartment, that is) also makes me more motivated to drink water, and I use up more energy, so I actually FEEL better. <BR> <BR> Other health concerns... are stil... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:42:44 EST Keepin' up Well. It's been a few weeks. They've been busy weeks, let me tell you. <BR> <BR> Tutoring at the university has finally started, which means I finally have something to do at least three days a week. Right now all the athletes are forced to come to tutoring, whether or not they have something to do. This means I usually have a full schedule on the calendar but if they show up without assignments we kindly send them away. This makes for lots of free time--I write letters. I drink coffee. I re... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 17:55:58 EST Seriously Not feeling any better today. Or any worse. The migraines have stopped but all the other things, which I'm still not going to talk about, are just as bad. I'm feeling extra fatigued today, which is making me very unproductive. I've already had one cup of coffee and it's helped some but another cup would probably give me the shakes, haha! <BR> <BR> I just want to say this, in case I haven't already, please don't give me advice when I don't feel well. Giving someone advice when they don't ask... Fri, 23 Aug 2013 14:34:34 EST Bad news, pending It's been a rough couple of weeks, physically. During the last 21 days I have had 19 migraines, which is probably a new record. It wasn't really brought on by anything, either. My migraines are typically brought on by a whole bunch of junk food, or a change in weather, or lack of sleep, or an abnormal amount of stress. None of these triggers were present. <BR> <BR> And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There are some other issues arising, none of which I'm comfortable talking about yet. T... Mon, 19 Aug 2013 21:10:10 EST Little things and big things The last time I blogged I was a little upset. Don't worry, I've calmed down. My opinions have not changed, but I am calm. :P <BR> <BR> It's been a lovely week. It's cooled down A LOT. Apparently all it takes is ten degrees and it feels so much better. It's nice to be able to open the windows and feel a cool breeze instead of humidity. <BR> <BR> Little things that have made me happy this week: <BR> -coffee flavored ice cream <BR> -fresh celery! <BR> -buying school supplies for one of my chu... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 20:30:06 EST Nonsense! Been an interesting week. Hubby's birthday was on Wednesday, so on Friday (yesterday) we went out and celebrated. First we went to a casino, because it's something we've never done. It wasn't worth it! We didn't win anything, but on top of that, it was just kind of boring. Seriously. Boring. After that we went to a nickel arcade--and that WAS worth it! And I guess I never realized it, but arcade games are actually a pretty good work out--the physical games, at least, not the sit down ones. (y... Sat, 20 Jul 2013 17:51:25 EST Seeking direction It's been a week and a half since I blogged here and I feel like nothing happened. Things almost happened, and then didn't. <BR> <BR> I took my APT. Some of the multiple choice was killer, but the essay questions (I feel) were manageable. Then last Tuesday, the 8th, I had an interview with a "tutoring center" to be an "English teacher." Well, without giving away too much detail, what they ACTUALLY meant by "tutoring center" was "study for the SAT/ACT" center, and by "teacher" they meant "SAT... Tue, 16 Jul 2013 02:00:28 EST Let's do this Got my big test today--the APT. (Assessment of Professional Teaching.) I've been studying, sort of, all week. I am not big on studying. This probably sounds weird, because I'm a teacher, but I believe every student functions differently. I am a student that thrives on making learning natural and internalized. My study is done while I am learning something, while I am doing something, and not usually by sitting down and staring at a study guide. I study by practicing. <BR> <BR> That being sai... Sat, 6 Jul 2013 12:01:58 EST Working and worrying Not feeling motivated today. Haven't all week. Or since the weekend. I have a BIG test on Saturday, the "APT", basically to determine my proficiency as a teacher. It's the second to last step in becoming certified. I am trying to just relax so I can study well. But... <BR> <BR> I'm just having trouble focusing. I have been sick for about four days now. I can't sleep on my stomach--which is a big deal, because I always sleep on my stomach. But now it causes me immense pain and discomfort. So ... Tue, 2 Jul 2013 19:54:44 EST Just... ugh. Went on a long walk today in the sunshine, and got a little sunburned. It was beautiful out, not too hot, and the breeze was lovely. <BR> <BR> I spent an hour on the phone with my dad and another hour and a half on the phone with my best friend. I started out the day a bit frustrated, so both conversations were wonderful. I wasn't upset after a while, at least not as much. And it faded into something else that leaves me a different kind of upset. <BR> <BR> I've made a lot of personal progr... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 20:31:12 EST Two years My anniversary was on Tuesday and it was such a lovely day. Well, the company was lovely. The weather was rainy and muggy. But we did get to eat sushi, and see a movie at the drive-in. And yes, I probably ate too much of the wrong things, I can admit it. But it was worth it to just enjoy the day and each other without worrying about tracking food. We went to the mall (to exchange some of the things I got, haha [because my husband said he wouldn't mind]) and watched a movie at home. We tried ... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 18:19:06 EST Bananas It's the middle of the night, and while I was totally exhausted when I got into bed, that exhaustion left the moment my husband fell asleep. It's sad. Because, you know, I like sleeping next to him. But it's really hot tonight, and I am a bit restless. <BR> <BR> So I'm making banana bread. It's my mother's recipe, which I have been trying (to no avail) to make all summer, but the opportunity kept disappearing. It's not hard to make, it just takes the right ingredients at the right time. I ju... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 01:57:04 EST Oh, the possibilities It's been a good couple of weeks. I made hubby eat a salad TWICE last week, and had several myself. It's no secret, I love salads. I just want the world of SparkPeople to know that just because I don't track my food doesn't mean I'm eating like a crazy, starved person. I'm still pretty good. <BR> <BR> I've been on many long walks as well, even without realizing it. It's funny how fast you walk while you're shopping for a vegetable that can't be found. It's also funny how fast you walk when y... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:06:15 EST It's finally June! I did a lot of cleaning and rearranging last week. And I did it all by myself, haha! When I was a kid, I probably rearranged my room every few months. And I mean I moved my bed and shelves and everything. So during the last week I painted a bookshelf, a dresser, and then fixed an old broken bookshelf. It was very broken. Had to nail it back together. Don't worry, I didn't hurt myself. <BR> <BR> Anyways. So I didn't disappear. I've just been super focused. We had a goodbye/birthday party for... Sat, 1 Jun 2013 13:21:15 EST Happy and bored Yesterday a friend wanted to spend some time with me and the hubby, so we went for a nice long walk. We intended on hanging out at a forest preserve, but there were too many mosquitoes. (which, I am realizing, is a profoundly strange word.) So we played cards outside of a Starbucks instead, and I enjoyed a huge iced tea (lightly sweetened, of course) and it was fun. We even brought the dog! She had a great time being outside, and everybody that walked by (including oodles of cute children) wa... Sun, 19 May 2013 17:41:52 EST Success! Successful things that happened this week (so far. it's only Thursday!) <BR> <BR> *My husband finally realized that if he drinks coffee in the morning, he feels more awake during the day. Yes, you heard me right. He just realized it. He was convinced that coffee did nothing for him, and insisted on buying energy drinks. (GROSS.) But on Sunday we were going to be SUPER tired, and we had to teach Sunday school (only two Sundays left!) so we made coffee and he was like, HEY, THAT'S GOOD STUFF. ... Thu, 16 May 2013 12:52:08 EST The process Working on cleaning the apartment today. We have a lot of free junk from the "leftovers" at the end of the school year. (The people who live in the dorms throw away EVERYTHING. TVs, rugs, clothes, furniture of all sorts. Twenty couches this year alone.) So... <BR> <BR> It's a process. I've probably talked about this before. I already got my student teaching stuff organized, including the paperwork to become certified (or the "licensure" paperwork, because that's what it's called now.) I reor... Tue, 14 May 2013 19:58:32 EST FINALLY graduated! I know, it's been a while. But I have been insanely busy! Doing well, however. I've been taking lots of long walks, especially in the woods. I feel fresh and alive and... free. Very free. <BR> <BR> I also want to mention that I actually went swimming on Friday. I've owned a swimsuit for over a year, but it's never been worn. A friend of mine was staying at a hotel with her parents (before graduation) and invited us over. So I brought the suit. At first, I wore it with capri leggings. My husb... Mon, 13 May 2013 15:01:10 EST Here we go again You would think that as a fifth year, final semester senior I would finally stop procrastinating with the small things. But no. I don't know how to "just do it." I have to find every viable excuse in the book, because it's "just 500 words," and then of course my *tiny* idea turns into something HUGE but I have to squish it into a page and a half of text. <BR> <BR> In other words, I crafted a sweater from an ugly sweatshirt last night, and then I blogged, and THEN I wrote my measly 500-word ... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 09:50:42 EST Is it springtime yet? Seriously. There are several feet of snow outside. The sky is a dishonest blue--meaning, it's pretty, but it's totally still winter time. I am SO COLD. And of course, a friend of mine flew to Cancun today and I am desperately jealous. <BR> <BR> I want sunshine. I want to wear dresses and flip flops. I want to have picnics and go for long walks outside. (Yes, people do that in the snow. I'm not one of those people.) I want the beach and iced tea. <BR> <BR> Instead, I had soup today. Actual... Thu, 7 Mar 2013 18:05:05 EST How an artist gets bored My desk is covered with junk. This is the problem I am faced with after every project. I had several projects in the last several months that took up the whole desk. One was Christmas cards. Another, shortly after, were Valentines. Then I had to make a care-package-kit for a friend going on a mission trip. (which included 10 cards, but I used regular stationary instead of handmaking each card.) <BR> <BR> And then my husband did the taxes. <BR> And I had to fix the thumbs on a pair of mittens... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 17:00:36 EST Nice end to the week I love spring break. Love it. I love it because I don't have to do anything on Sunday night--I can just work out, and go to sleep. I love it because I don't have to do anything ever, except read maybe. And some homework. But it's STRESS FREE because I know I have a whole week to just ease into my responsibilities. I don't have to wake up early. I don't have to go to bed early. <BR> <BR> I am also free of the crisis that happened last spring break. I will not give you any details, but I can ... Sat, 2 Mar 2013 19:04:29 EST FYI The other day I experienced, for the first time ever, JUDGMENT from someone on I posted a blog entry and expressed that we eat on the go because it is necessary. Someone felt the need to say that it wasn't necessary. I deleted the comment because I'm not going to call them out by name. However... <BR> <BR> You don't know me. You don't know my lifestyle, or my schedule, or my grocery budget. And I'm not going to make you feel justified by listing off all of those things on th... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:50:42 EST The rollercoaster Well, here I am, again, 6 months later. I'm not going to promise that I will be here for good because, let's face it, my life is chaos. I don't even have kids yet, and it's chaos. But I'll start with a few updates, since I haven't been here since July. <BR> <BR> -Student teaching was insane! A good insane. I love middle schoolers, that's for sure, and they were worth all the misery outside of the classroom. <BR> -We couldn't go home for Christmas. It was painful. And my husband had to work t... Sun, 24 Feb 2013 19:17:34 EST