FLYINGTOFREEDOM's SparkPeople Blog FLYINGTOFREEDOM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Just for me :) So, I got my tax money and bought a bunch of stuff we needed for the house, some stuff for the kids, some stuff for my spouse and low and behold as the kids and I were walking through Sears to go to the mall, there it was: the treadmill I had had my eye on for months. It was on sale and it was on display with a big sign right in front of my face. I stopped, looked, drooled and then said, no it is too expensive. My 12 year old daughter, who is old enough to know that mom sacrifices a lot fo... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 07:53:43 EST 2 weeks in So, I've been back for 2 weeks now. My scale broke so I'm using other signs to measure how much I might be losing. I took pictures of front view and side view 2 weeks ago. Then every Thursday I take a picture to see any results. Of course the first week didn't really see much improvement, but the picture I took last night, I could tell a significant difference. Might be 5 lbs or so, but I can see it. Anyway, I feel better, I am eating better, eating less, eating healthier and paying mor... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 12:36:40 EST 2015 is finally the year I commit to myself. I decided on a New Years Resolution this year. I never make them because I know majority of them get forgotten about within the month. This one took some careful thought, planning and getting rid of some guilt. Guilt is a very powerful thing especially when it comes to your family whether it be kids, spouse, parents, siblings, cousins, etc. For the last few years I spent so much time on my children and family that I completely gave up on myself. I felt guilty if I took time away from the... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 10:48:13 EST That AHA moment and I'm back It has been years really since I've been pretty active and being a leader on some of my teams. I quit. Basically, I failed myself. I just gave up. I can blame it on any number of things that happened in my life, but really truly honestly: I GAVE UP ON MYSELF. I didn't want to work so hard, I didn't want to have to work harder than most people I know. I didn't want to waste time working out so much and not being able to eat like everyone else. I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 09:05:10 EST Great times So, I have been working a second job for a couple of months and it isn't too bad. i actually like the work. I'm working produce at a grocery store. <BR> I haven't had to work out since I started because I work so hard doing that job. 15 hours a week. I lift heavy stuff and walk back and forth and I'm on my feet the whole time I"m there. It feels great. Well, my honey has been trying to find a job since I've started this second job. And low and behold he got the call last week and got a ... Wed, 31 Jul 2013 07:10:41 EST OMG Sodium my neighbor gave us one of those concentrated savory stocks or whatever they are that you are supposed to put on your food for flavor? I just happened to read the label and I about fell down. In one little tiny pack about the size of a dip at Mcdonalds, had 10,640 mg sodium. 14 servings per packet with 760 mg sodium per serving. That is unbelievable to me. to me that was just crazy. i threw it away. i can add my own flavor without the salt thank you. Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:02:39 EST I'm feeling it I have been working my butt off for the last three weeks. My Zumba class is great. Now there are more people that have come and they are bigger like me so I don't feel so out of place. But, the best thing about it, I"m doing it. My neighbor and her mom it kicked their butts the other night to the point one layed on the floor. Me, I made it through and it felt great. I was very sore afterwards, but in a good way. I took my kids bowling last night and they loved it. Not only did I burn a... Wed, 27 Mar 2013 07:50:39 EST JUDGE the last two weeks have been trying for me. I have been eating a lot less, eating healthier options, exercising more including starting a zumba class. But what started it was my hubby pretty much telling me I was weak and could not do this. Even though at one point years ago, I managed to lose over 60 lbs, he is right. I have been weak. I have been not taking care of myself, eating too much, gained some weight, my confidence is in the gutter. When he said something about it, I got mad a... Thu, 21 Mar 2013 09:01:14 EST Back again I haven't been very active. I've gained some weight and I haven't been taking very good care of myself. My 10 year old is a little bit overweight, the doctor told me that my 5 year old had a little too much around her middle and my husband is overweight. In any event, my 10 year old and I watched this latest season of Biggest Loser. As I sat and watched it instead of being motivated to do exercises while watching it, during the finale, my daughter asked me why don't we do a biggest loser ... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 07:42:09 EST This time of year I am struggling. I didn't work out much last week. Not that I wasn't motivated or didn't want to, but for a few days I had some sort of stomach virus that had me in a lot of pain and very very tired with no energy. never had a fever, but was not able to work out. I did try to eat less just to counteract it. I started again on track this week so far. zumba and strength training. feel good about it. I'm still struggling with the tragedy that happened in Newtown CT. I have a 10 year old... Tue, 18 Dec 2012 13:58:17 EST I'm doing it. I am back into a more consistent, and workable routine. Now that it gets dark so early, it is easier because I'm not outside with the kids so long. It was 71 degrees yesterday so of course I took them outside for some fresh air before going inside and working out. But starting last week, I began doing my Biggest Loser again on the Wii. I love this game, but this summer I just got so burnt out because I tried to do so much and I was sore all the time. I overtrained big time so I got burne... Tue, 4 Dec 2012 07:39:32 EST Starting new I have restarted my program. I'm going to be doing exercise 5x or more a week and that is including strength training again. I am going to start writing down what i'm eating and exercise. I will log it everyday. I will act in a more healthy manner. I will start to love myself again. I will start this new and renew myself. i will be in a better place. Tue, 27 Nov 2012 09:16:52 EST hanging in there I haven't been the best eater or exerciser, but I've been exercising everyday no matter if it is ony 20 minutes or longer. I have been paying more attention to eating after I feel hunger though. I haven't lost or gained. My birthday was awesome. Started off weird. I came in to work and then immediately had a virus on my computer. The IT guy had to restore my computer from 4 months ago. Took three hours to finally get my computer running right. Geez, I didn't get on anywhere that I don... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 10:41:25 EST the weekend was good Friday, I walked during lunch. I didn't know if it was going to rain or not so I walked then instead. Got 35 minutes in. Did some ST also during lunch. My oldest now 10 had her very first sleepover birthday party. <BR> She doesn't usually spend the night anywhere unless we have a date night which is rare. She has spent the night with our neighbors and such, but not very often. I knew the girl that she was invited by. She has been in her class for 2 years now and we met her parents when... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 14:50:05 EST October It has been an interesting year so far. I have been blessed. It has been a relatively good year. I am grateful and thankful for my kids, family, healthy and friends. I cannot believe it is going to be Halloween soon. My kids are lucky this year. With being so frugal and saving my tax money for so long, we are able to do things this year that we never get to do. <BR> this year we are going to the zoo and have fun there. We have already went back to the amusement park for Halloween festivi... Fri, 5 Oct 2012 13:00:00 EST nothing to worry about well, the hubby didn't listen about telling our daughter about the football game. turns out I worried for nothing. she was perfectly okay with it. he told her that when he got home they would go somewhere to celebrate just him and her. I think it might be because whenever we do have a party, dad doesn't really do much for it anyway. I set it up, I make sure everything goes well. he mingles with the guests and that is about it. So, it all worked out and every one is happy. Good. I'm gla... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 08:02:08 EST Mixed emotions We are on a budget so usually NFL games are out of the question. We love the Cincinnati Bengals. But, we don't get to go to the games. Turns out my husband got invited by his mother to go the game on Sunday. Not a big deal on any other day. This day is my oldest daughter's real birthday her 10th, and we have already scheduled a party and everything. I wouldn't even be upset any other day. I am happy he gets to go to the game. I'm not happy it is on his daughter's birthday. Grandma ha... Wed, 12 Sep 2012 08:41:41 EST what has been going on I haven't been doing much of anything special. I've been doing good with just eating when hungry. There have been times, I"m not hungry for a long time, sometimes I feel like i"m hungry 2 hours later. I've been paying more attention to those times. It is usually becuase I have eaten some form of white carbs. So, I've cut back on those. I am still exercising, but my back is hurting this week so I'm taking it easy. Probably start walking again since it isn't so hot anymore. <BR> <BR> My... Wed, 22 Aug 2012 09:13:37 EST An experiment day 4 I've been doing something different this week. I started feeling my hunger. I have been waiting to eat until I"m actually truly hungry, not starving, but waiting long enough that I feel empty and that my stomach is growling. And when I finally do eat, I take small bites and actually chew my food. concentrate on the bite in my mouth rather than the next bite. I chew slow and then swallow. I eat a few bites and then I put my fork down. I wait a few minutes and then I eat a few more bites... Thu, 19 Jul 2012 12:26:33 EST LAZY DAYZ I've been trying to find a balance between working out, eating right and still trying to live my life. I think for awhile I got so obsessed with exercise, almost an hour or hour and 1/2 a day. I felt like the only thing I was doing was exercising. some months I was getting 1700-1800 or more fitness minutes. and then summer hits and cookouts, amusement parks, vacation etc. I lost my motivation. I was staying the same weight, but then I got lazy and didn't exercise as much and wasn't as a... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 09:16:54 EST I'm back I made it through our vacation. Hubby turned out to be a grouch so that wasn't so good. Finally, he is not so groucy, but it caused a couple of arguments and some hurt feelings. IN any event, I"m glad to be back at work. I need a vacation away from my vacation. The kids were great for grandma thank goodness, but you can tell she was glad when we got back. <BR> <BR> The noodling was amazing. I don't know why I was so scared really. I would recommend it to anyone. The guide we had, t... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 09:06:27 EST I'm back I made it through our vacation. Hubby turned out to be a grouch so that wasn't so good. Finally, he is not so groucy, but it caused a couple of arguments and some hurt feelings. IN any event, I"m glad to be back at work. I need a vacation away from my vacation. The kids were great for grandma thank goodness, but you can tell she was glad when we got back. <BR> <BR> The noodling was amazing. I don't know why I was so scared really. I would recommend it to anyone. The guide we had, t... Tue, 12 Jun 2012 09:06:17 EST 2nd Visit to the amusement park We were able to find a babysitter for Memorial Day to go to the amusement park. Luckily, our friend needed to work on the weekend so we had her come stay at our house and babysat for two days and she agreed to watch our little ones. They had a blast they went swimming all day. <BR> In any event, it was me, my husband, my daughter, her friend and our neighbor. I managed to get on the one ride that scared me to death. It is a very steep hill up and a very steep hill back down and pretty mu... Thu, 31 May 2012 10:31:32 EST Amusement Park Our apartment building as invested in season passes for the amusement park about an hour from us. They have already gone a few times, and we weren't going to do it, but then deicded that it might be fun. So, we bought them the other day. I already had yesterday off from work, we were going to the zoo. But after buying the passes we decided to go yesterday. We were there for 8 hours and we had a blast. We were all worn out by the time we got home. I have a 9 year old that can ride all t... Wed, 23 May 2012 09:05:56 EST The joy of walking Last week sometime, when I found myself bored from doing Zumba and couldnt wait until it was over, I decided that is my body's way of telling me to change something up. What though? I got rid of my elliptical due to knee problems, and I didn't feel like doing anymore dancing. So I got on sparkamerica and mappped out a 2, 4 and 6 mile course by my house. Saturday I decided that I would go for the 4 miler. I had my 9 year old on her bike along with her friend, my 4 year old in the stroller ... Thu, 10 May 2012 14:39:55 EST The power of a pushup for the first time ever, I was able to do 10 regular pushups. I was so excited. I have doing the ones on my knees. So everytime I do the Biggest Loser, I do whatever plank, pushup, tricip pushups etc. on my knees. <BR> The other day when I was doing a level up; hard, I told myself to try it. I did and I did it!!! That is it. It made me feel so powerful that now I want to do more. I see the results, let's keep going. Fri, 4 May 2012 13:23:01 EST Road Bumps to goal I have been so focused on getting so many fitness minutes, burning so many calories, tracking every single thing I eat etc. I feel like a crazy woman sometimes, becuase I"m so focused of figuring this whole thing out about losing weight, getting to my goal etc. My 4 year old asked me the other day when I was working out,"mom, why do you have to workout all the time?" It kind of took me aback a little. I know my family knows that the first thing I do when I get home from work is workout wh... Thu, 3 May 2012 08:21:20 EST Noodling: 5 weeks away!!! I have 5 weeks until my vacation. My vacation is just me and hubby going noodling. What is noodling? It is going into a lake or river, going into catfish holes and pulling them out with your hands. It has been a dream of my hubby's for awhile and this June we are going to make it happen. His first request was that I do this with him. He said he wants to share this experience with me. <BR> Im excited, but I"m so nervous. that is why I've been working so hard to get more muscles and lose ... Wed, 2 May 2012 09:54:12 EST A much better day My daughters spent the night at our friends house. My hubby went fishing on Sunday so it was just me and little man. I did zumba for 45 minutes, 45 minutes of Ellen Barrett cardio pilates (which btw kicked my booty) and a two mile walk. I felt great and burned about 1200-1300 calories. Then the after noon, I started getting that I'm coming down with something tiredness. I layed on the couch and then my girls came home. I just tried to relax and lay there, but my 4 year old daughter had ... Tue, 1 May 2012 09:17:30 EST Haters There are so many haters in the world. It saddens me really. In my apartment complex, there are 96 units, 6 bldgs. On average, 4-5 people in each apartment, that is a lot of people especially children. There is a rule that states that children under 10 are not allowed outside unless supervised. Fine, I dont' have a problem with it, although I did read the law and that is against the law for them to discriminate against children, but that is besides the point. In any event, my particular... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:49:50 EST Strangers strangely looking In the last few weeks I have had one neighbor I had never talked to talk to me at the park by our apartment. He was 10 years younger than me and he was nice enough. When he told me his age, I was like I"m 10 years older than you. He told me that he couldnt' believe it that I did not look near my age which is 38. In any event, I had another lady at the convenience store card me the other day when I was buying my husband's beer. I told her she just made my day. She couldn't believe that I... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 08:26:17 EST scheduling I have had things come up here lately that has made it harder to get all the exercise in I want. I say this not as an excuse but to know that life does get in the way. I'm working with it. I would realistically like to exercise at least one hour every day. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it does not. I feel bad if I spend all my time working out when my kids keep bugging me to go outside. My middle daughter is learning how to ride a bike and she wants to do it all the time. AT 8, I ha... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 13:59:21 EST Weekend Madness Friday night was a horrible night. My honey went fishing, no big deal. My oldest had a friend spending the night. My neighbors two women went with my honey and the one lady's husband. No big deal, just a little pang of jealousy that I couldn't go. Anyway, my kids decided taht they were going to be so bad, challenging at best. let's just say, I was in tears at midnight and they were still up and I just went to bed. I was so upset with them, I yelled at them and sadly I didn't feel bad a... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 08:41:08 EST Best Compliment Ever !!! My honey just looked at me last night and said "Honey, you are starting to look really sexy." That is it. The old me would have taken that as something bad and felt bad about myself. The new and improved me, I took that compliment and realized taht my hard work is paying off and just because I don't see it in the mirrow does not mean that others do not. Obviously my honey is seeing it so I think that is the best compliment I have ever received from anyone. And you know what? I woke up t... Fri, 13 Apr 2012 08:04:32 EST No More Excuses Please I see so many people on sparkpeople come and go and come and go. Some come back many times. I would rather see them keep coming back than just leaving altogether. In any event, it will be 4 years in June since I joined sp. I have seen thousands of people go and never come back. I've seen so many making excuses, feeling sorry for themselves, complaining, letting others rule their life, etc. I know it seems harsh, but quit with all the excuses. I know life gets in the way. I know people f... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 08:28:27 EST It happens to the best of us I took off Thursday and Friday last week to spend time with my kids. I've done really well tracking my food and getting a lot of exercise in. So, those four days, I did okay the first two days, but the weekend was not as successful as I would have liked. I didn't track my food, I know I ate too much, had too much salt, didn't drink enough water and was not active as much as I should have been. But shoulda coulda woulda blah blah blah <BR> <BR> I know I overindulged, I didn't track my food... Mon, 9 Apr 2012 14:38:52 EST I'M A WIP I'm a work in progress otherwise known as a wip. I had to go get my depo shot and an annual exam today. The doctor congratulated me on losing weight. Of course I told her all the changes I"ve made, the exercises I'm doing, incorporating strength training etc. She stressed calcium especially since i"m on the shot. IN any event that went well. My 9 year old has been acting very emotional lately. I would say that she will be going through puberty very soon. I sat her down the other night... Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:36:21 EST changes I am changing. Not only have I become a regular fitness enthusiast, doing the biggest loser challenge on the wii (i'm doing the 12 week program), doing exercise dvds, <BR> yoga, and zumba along with walking, playing with my kids. <BR> my knee hurts every once in awhile, BUT, it is only because i'm working on the muscles around it and sometimes i feel a little strain, but not the pain i had been feeling. I eat a ton of veggies and protein now. I often try to figure out substitutions for the... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:08:58 EST Hubby really is on board The Dh finally started using the Biggest Loser challenge. He is using another exercise game that we have as well. He does this while the littles ones are taking a nap. Good for him. In any event, went grocery shopping last night. I had to take the kids so I was a little stressed, but we made it through after having to go back and forth across the store a few times. Kids make it really hard to concentrate and follow my list. <BR> IN any event, a staple in our house are tortilla shells. <... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 09:00:55 EST The obsession is gone I have finally lost the obsession over food. I do not obsess about it night and day. My every thought does not revolve around food, what am I going to eat for the day, or tomorrow or the next day. I found out something about myself. I am strong enough to continue on my journey, whether I have any support or not. I am worth it. I deserve it. I have been working on the inside on me more than the outside, although in the last three months, I have managed to lose about 20+ lbs and get a lo... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 10:10:35 EST When you change yourself you change others I realized this morning, that I've changed so much since last year. Just in the last 6 months, I've really changed a lot within myself and the outside self. I have also started seeing that my family has changed becuase I have. I didn't force them to change, I just led by example. The best thing about myself is that I've finally am able to tell my husband whatever I need to in order to get things changed. Or just be able to tell him something has made me feel uncomfortable no matter how s... Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:56:53 EST Sorry for being a fraud I am sorry to my sp friends and teams. I've been such a fraud this year. This whole year I have been in denial about my weight gain, weight loss and gain, etc. I've been full of excuses as to why I was gaining weight or not losing. I am on the depo shot, my knee hurts, I got so many things i'm dealing with. I'm hurt, depressed, having marital problems. blah blah blah. Really they are just excuses I used to punish myself. to shove food down my throat, to not exercise, to gain weight. to... Wed, 7 Dec 2011 12:33:58 EST Stages of Grief I realized sometime back that I was going through the stages of grief when it comes to my family. My mother, father and sister. for the first time in my whole life I did not get a birthday card from my dad this year. That was a HUGE message. And last night I was alone, the kids were having sleepovers, little man was in bed and Ryan was helping a friend move. I starting thinking about all this and realized that I'm getting through it. That I felt the sadness last night. and I realized a... Tue, 8 Nov 2011 08:11:08 EST Another letter to self: A letter to my inner child: <BR> <BR> Dear Little Girl, I'm your adult self. I am writing to let you know it is okay to be angry about your childhood. It is okay to be upset that you were hurt by both your parents. It sucks they did not give you the love, attention and respect you deserved. You are a very sensitive human being that deserves more. You deserved better role models growing up. You deserved to see how to have healthy relationships with people. I know you are hurt, but you tu... Fri, 26 Aug 2011 13:02:52 EST A letter to myself I wrote this today: <BR> "A letter to my Skinny self." <BR> <BR> Hi skinny me. I know we haven't met, but I'd like to introduce myself. I am 37, have 3 young children that I adore. I live with my soul mate. I love to read and write. I love to exercise, watch TV and spend time having fun with my kids. I am sensitive, cry easily and love deeply. I will fight for my family much like a mother leopard. I listen to music, dance when I cook. I make up recipes and cook for my family and frien... Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:37:44 EST An Ode to my Children My dearest children, you are so special in my life. My blessings from God. I owe my life to you. I wish that I had felt better about myself sooner so that your lives would have been more enriched and less stressful. I'm sorry for hating myself at times and taking it out on everybody else. I'm sorry for hurting your feelings when really, my feelings were hurt. I can't take back the mistakes that I have made, nor can I take back the awful feelings I had about myself. I can make the presen... Thu, 4 Nov 2010 09:31:57 EST Emotional Eating: not just about eating part 2 With that said, emotional eating maybe we should rename it. Dysfunctional eating. Really for me, my emotional eating was due to outside circumstances beyond my control at a very young age. I learned this technique of binging and overexercising at 4. Suffered from mental and emotioinal abuse. I grew up with the "fat girl" mentality and it still lurks in my mind. It is hard to get rid of. I'm more of a dysfunctional eater or maybe just dysfunctional thinker that led me to emotionally eat... Tue, 22 Jun 2010 14:43:55 EST Emotional eating; not just about eating First: Today I love my blue eyes that can see for miles and look at my beautiful friends and family. <BR> <BR> I have been doing so much thinking here lately about my emotional eating status. Problem is, I don't considere myself to be emotionally eating anymore. But, that is only eating. I have't binged or ate because of emotions. <BR> The other side of the coin is I dont think emotional eating is just about eatig. I think a lot of people focus on that part of it. Emotional eating is a... Fri, 18 Jun 2010 07:43:44 EST Driving myself to crazy This process of getting healthier seems easy and simple. You eat less, exercise more and you lose weight and you will reach a goal weight. In fact, this isn't that easy and it really isn't that simple. We all have things that hinder our weight loss. Whether it be stress, hormones, medical issues, whatever. These all can play a part in hinderin our weight loss. But, our biggest allie is also our biggest enemy; ourselves. We are our biggest issue. <BR> If our minds are not connected to o... Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:40:21 EST Labeling is easy, getting past it isn't. It is so easy to put a label on someone. Whether it be obese, fat, lazy, stupid, funny, irritating, or even emotional eater. Yes, I used to use emotional eating as a coping mechanism, as a learned habit and then just as a plain habit to comfort myself not knowing how else to comfort myself besides food. As I've been thinkin about emotional eating and putting that label on myself, I've realized that it seems the more I label myself, the more it becomes true. If I say I'm an emotional eater ... Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:27:06 EST