FIREFLYJD's SparkPeople Blog FIREFLYJD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Back up to 180...Strong Expletives! I tried to keep myself off the scale since I am doing boot camp, because logically I know results will show up in inches lost but not pounds. <BR> <BR> But then I stepped on the scale this morning anyway, and found I have gained four pounds AND I am back up to 180. STRONG EXPLETIVES!!! <BR> <BR> I know, I know, it's probably muscle and muscle is good. And nothing but good can come out of dragging myself out of bed every morning to do boot camp, and giving it every thing I've got. But D... Mon, 11 May 2009 11:02:42 EST Back to my original name ... When I first joined SP I was "FireflyJD," and then about last fall I changed it to "SunriseJD" for various reasons ... some healthy, some not. <BR> <BR> While sunrise does have a beautiful connotation of light coming in after a dark period in one's life, I was also changing it to hide from some folks who I felt may be toxic on my journey. And the reality is if I am going to become as strong as I can be, I need to stop worrying about what they think. <BR> <BR> So I have been thinking abo... Thu, 7 May 2009 15:06:37 EST First Week of Fitness Boot Camp is DONE This has been a crazy week. I have been getting up at 4:45 every day for a fitness boot camp, and these girls are not messing around. <BR> <BR> The first couple days were really hard, and by the end of Wednesday's camp I was utterly exhausted by the intense increase in physical activity, massive physical pain, and the rapid decrease in sleep. Plus, I was running out of Icy Hot. <BR> <BR> I decided to take care of myself, and called in sick to work so I could rest all day. I felt like a... Thu, 7 May 2009 11:59:23 EST Survived my first day of fitness boot camp! This morning I woke up at 4:45 a.m., got dressed, and drove fifteen minutes to a dark pavilion for fitness boot camp. There were about thirty other women there by the time it started, but I had already decided to just relax, not look at anybody else if possible, and just focus on powering through. <BR> <BR> We started with a warm up and I was sweating and panting a bit by the time we got through that part ... I had meant to work out more in the past two weeks so I would not be so out of sha... Mon, 4 May 2009 11:11:23 EST Back to 176 ... net loss from here on out! This morning my scale informed me I am officially back to 176!! <BR> <BR> That means I have lost 22 pounds since I started this long journey, and more importantly for where I am now that means I have lost my ten "backslide" pounds and I am back to where I was before I fell off the fitness wagon several months ago. <BR> <BR> So from here on out, everything is a net loss. Very exciting! <BR> <BR> In other cool news, I signed up for a fitness boot camp for May! Four days a week at 5:30... Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:01:30 EST Back in the 170s! I weighed myself last night, and again this morning just to be sure ... and yep, I am solidly hovering between 178 and 179. Slowly but surely, I am getting there. <BR> <BR> I had a vicious migraine over the weekend, which is very rare for me nowadays. It was the Syrah I had with dinner on Thursday night ... I did not even look at the bottle that was ordered, I just assumed it was a Cab or something, and viciously paid the price. Still, it was a good reminder that the days of not looking... Tue, 14 Apr 2009 10:44:14 EST Looking Back, Looking Forward After my last blog post, when I proclaimed I was "back" and then promptly fell off Spark, I have been pretty hesitant to post anything here or contact old friends on the site. I wanted to make sure my sticktoit attitude was the real deal. <BR> <BR> So I came back quietly about three weeks ago. The first week I made the mistake of trying to be back to where I was last summer all at once - I expected myself to instantly be eating healthy, and logging all my food, and working out at that leve... Mon, 6 Apr 2009 14:10:09 EST DONE with work and back on Spark! I finished my giant work project on deadline, and the powers that be LOVE it, and I am just thrilled! It is a huge personal triumph and I am so pumped! <BR> <BR> I got the final word on my project yesterday and it was amazing how immediately my world got bigger ... I started reading a new book, I sent out my holiday party invitations, I immediately craved healthier foods, and so much more. Things I had been avoiding as distractions became the small and natural pleasures of life once again,... Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:22:52 EST Turtling I am turtling a bit and may not be around Spark much for a couple weeks ... I have a GIANT work project that has been hanging over my head for about eighteen months. As part of my quest to live up to my potential I am no longer letting this thing haunt me. In order to go to the next step of the "new me" I need to just shut out the world, strap myself to my desk, and get this bad boy DONE. <BR> <BR> I confess I've stopped logging my calories and everything, because when I come to Spark I... Sun, 21 Sep 2008 12:57:01 EST New Name I changed my name to Sunrise to reference the new light in my life since I started living healthier ... I wanted a more consistent light, and a name that has a connotation of steadiness and everyday living. Hopefully my friends will still find me in spite of this shift in my identity. Mon, 15 Sep 2008 00:15:18 EST New Goals, New Energy It's no coincidence that around the time that I met some of my early goals for weight loss and healthy living I started to lose some momentum on this quest. Instead of making new and specific goals, I thought "okay, now just do more!" Which is fine, but too fuzzy for real motivational effects. <BR> <BR> I did make some goals a while back, but I just posted them on the Mayhem boards and forgot them. If I am honest with myself they were more goals for other people than goals for me. I pick... Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:59:37 EST More Beautiful Benefits of Water Drinking water is not only helping me lose weight, it is helping with my overall appearance. My face is so much clearer and healthier when I drink water it is unbelievable! <BR> <BR> I left my "good makeup" in the hotel on vacation, which normally would have been a tragedy. But since we have returned I have not worried about it, because most days I have just been wearing powder, lip tint, and mascara. It's amazing I can do that, but even more amazing I feel comfortable and confident doing... Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:38:54 EST Spark People Housecleaning Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed and behind on Spark People and it has made it hard for me to focus on what is important. <BR> <BR> Part of it is returning from vacation, and part of it is I just have too many Spark e-mails every day that demand my attention. <BR> <BR> In an effort to "de-clutter" my SP experience and refocus on the basics, I am leaving nine Spark Teams that I like but don't really need (Sour to Sweet, Wii Fitters Unite, Our Herding Dogs, Buffy World, GGG - Gorgeous... Mon, 8 Sep 2008 08:41:04 EST Dr. Pepper, My Nemesis When people ask me how I lost so much weight this summer, I often joke that I lost it simply by cutting off Dr. Pepper. It was a lot more than that, of course, but I drank A LOT of Dr. Pepper before I joined SP ... and I never drank water, so I lost an inch around my neck in my first ten days just from bloating. Crazy stuff. <BR> <BR> I still have a sip now and then, but it is literally two ounces here, four ounces there, maybe once a week if at all. It's not an exaggeration to say that I... Fri, 5 Sep 2008 12:37:41 EST Work It Out! So tonight I left work early due to the flash flood warnings from Gustav, and as I was driving home I decided that was the perfect opportunity to do my first Project Mayhem challenge since vacation. Well, actually, since a bit before vacation since I was sick the week before I left. <BR> <BR> I did MOST of this week's challege, and it felt great! I did not get to the last bit of cardio burst because a good friend showed up on my doorstep at the very end. Still it was wonderful to feel bac... Wed, 3 Sep 2008 23:46:23 EST Thank You Done Girls! Thank you so much to the Done Girls for making me the Done Girl of the Day on Friday! I got home from vacation yesterday and found my mailbox full of wonderful messages of congratulations and support ... it was great inspiration to get right back in the swing of things. It's an honor to be chosen from these great ladies, and thank you very much! <BR> <BR> In other good news, I did a dreaded post-vaca weigh in this morning ... and it looks like I have gained less than a pound! We ate well,... Tue, 2 Sep 2008 17:01:44 EST Vacation/AFK I am very excited, I am going on my first vacation in a LONG TIME tomorrow. We will be gone through Labor Day, seeing old friends and new places ... it is a trip that has been in the discussion/planning stages for a year and a half and I can't believe it is almost here! <BR> <BR> So I won't be around to check on all my Spark friends for a bit, and I will miss you all. I still plan to log my calories via the Spark Mobile program, do some exercise most mornings and walk as much as possible .... Thu, 21 Aug 2008 10:34:53 EST Being Sick and Bad Foods What is it about being sick that makes us eat those super bad foods? The foods we mentally think of as comfort foods, but we know we should not eat no matter what. Like, ahem, bacon cheese fries. Seriously? I don't even LIKE bacon, and I know that was not really cheese, but yesterday I ate a whole order of bacon cheese fries from Hardee's. Wow. <BR> <BR> Yesterday not only did I have to miss a LOT of work due to my health issue, which was stressful because I had a big deadline, but I fe... Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:58:00 EST 1 Month, 7 Pounds, 1 Pants Size ... DONE Last night my husband and I were talking and I realized that I have lost 7 pounds and 1 pants size in the past month. WOO HOO! <BR> <BR> It was a huge deal for me, because my first six weeks of this journey I was very strict and dropped 15 pounds very quickly. In the past month I have been more moderate, and even though logically I know I am still doing "good" I have not been focusing on my success because compared to the first six weeks I am "slacking off." And by focusing on the compa... Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:34:09 EST Vicious Women Update Last week I blogged about the vicious women in my office, and the situation was pretty horrible. Over the weekend we went to the lake, and time away and talks with good friends really put the situation in perspective. <BR> <BR> First of all, I have to admit that I can be part of the problem. For women, the quickest way to bond is to say something catty about someone else or to complain about a situation. It is easy, and it is stupid, and the momentary bit of fun it provides comes with a b... Thu, 14 Aug 2008 11:56:49 EST Vicious Women Here is something I honestly do not understand: why some women are thoroughly vicious to other women in the workplace. <BR> <BR> I understand on a large scale, how opportunities are rare for women and therefore some women feel the need to cling to their small bit of power in the world. I understand that in my part of the country in particular, there are a lot of women who are working below their capabilities because they chose to have children instead of go to school. <BR> <BR> But wha... Sat, 9 Aug 2008 15:31:31 EST Breaking the Scale Addiction I have been doing the daily weigh in, even though I KNOW that is NOT GOOD. It is driving me a bit batty, so I am going to see if I can go a week without touching the scale. I know I can't do a month yet, but a week seems reasonable. Wish me luck. Thu, 7 Aug 2008 05:37:45 EST Back on Track Yesterday I focused on getting back on track, and today I am refocused and feeling like my warrior woman self again. <BR> <BR> This morning I worked my arms HARD. I upped my weights from my standard, trusty, still-challenging-but-getting-easier five pound weights to newly-purchased-and-oh-so-torturous eight pound weights. <BR> <BR> My arms are still protesting two hours later, but overall I feel great! Tomorrow I want to do my lower body with the eights and see what happens, and perha... Wed, 6 Aug 2008 10:28:22 EST May Have Gotten A Bit Cocky ... When I hit 178 on Friday, I may have gotten a bit cocky and I may have celebrated a bit too much on Saturday night. May as in ... oh hell yes I did. <BR> <BR> There is the healthy "I can do this!" attitude and then there is the "I have this whipped no matter what!" attitude. The former gets you results, the latter gets you ... back to 181. I am glad I caught it now, though. <BR> <BR> And the weekend was fun, and as always it is a good lesson. In retrospect I should have known something ... Tue, 5 Aug 2008 08:59:37 EST When Wedgies are Good So this morning I get up, put on my favorite pair of panties (and some other clothes too, of course) and head off to work. And I notice fairly early on in the day that I have a painful wedgie. I rectify the problem, and then there it is again off and on all day. <BR> <BR> WTF???? These are my favorite panties, why are they torturing me so? I am getting irritated, and not just because of the increasing discomfort caused by my traitorous underclothes. <BR> <BR> And then I realize, they ... Mon, 4 Aug 2008 19:06:49 EST Officially 178, & Wearing My Size 14 Jeans! This is the best TGIF I have had in a long time ... a few days ago I blogged about my scale dipping down to 178, but you know me. I had to be SURE before I counted it on SP and claimed that 20 Pounds Lost graphic. <BR> <BR> And then today ... there it was again! I am officially in the group of folks that have Lost 20 Pounds With Spark People!!!! <BR> <BR> And even better, I am wearing my size 14 jeans for the first time in about a year and a half. The day I joined SP I could not even get... Fri, 1 Aug 2008 10:29:42 EST Hoooly crap, Hellooooo 170s! I am not counting it yet because it could be fluctuations, but today my weight was 178! That is the first time in, what, two years that my weight has been in the 170s???? I need to see it a couple more times to be sure, but just the fact that my little scale needle went there gives me some serious inspiration to kick fitness and nutrition BOOTY today! Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:47:22 EST Two More Pounds and Two More Inches! I lost the two pounds I was stressing about last week (lost them again I mean), and am determined to lose two more pounds ASAP so I can officially be at that 20 pound marker! <BR> <BR> The other big news is I have lost two more inches, one in my waist and one in my hips. I also went down another half inch on my neck which is amazing to me ... it's my face that is showing this loss the most, because I was just so puffy and bloated before from not taking care of myself. <BR> <BR> These d... Mon, 28 Jul 2008 15:35:26 EST Removing Mental Boundaries This started as a reply to a post on NYMPHAMOI's blog, but it is a subject matter that is so close to my heart I decided to expand on it over here. She had blogged about the dichotomy of her mind, and how it frustrates her that she can be so supportive to everyone else while simultaneously being cruel to herself or negative about her own journey. It is something so many of us struggle with, this instinctual tendency to see ourselves in the harshest light possible. <BR> <BR> Because it is... Fri, 25 Jul 2008 10:49:27 EST Bouncing Back - in a Skirt! Some days you just wake up and you FEEL thinner ... and today was one of them. I had a pretty good day yesterday, nutrition wise, and I did a Project Monkey challenge. Today I just woke up feeling lighter, and on a lark I tried on a skirt that I love but was no where near close to zipping a month ago. <BR> <BR> And it fit! I am wearing it right now with cute heels and a cute shirt and feeling great! <BR> <BR> And even better ... it is a size 14. Just yesterday I was very depressed and... Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:57:39 EST DAMN TICKER IS GOING THE WRONG WAY! So everybody says these things are inevitable. And everybody says you are not supposed to get upset when these inevitable things happen. <BR> <BR> But all of that logic does not cut off the emotional reaction when you realize you have gained back 3.5 pounds of your hard-fought 19-pound weight loss. Now I have almost four more pounds to go before I hit the magical 20-pound mark. GRRRR! <BR> <BR> Yes, I have been slacking a bit compared to late June and early July. I have been eating la... Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:25:47 EST Putting My Food Tracker Where My Mouth Is ... I have been thinking a lot today about my weight loss journey, and about my attitudes towards myself. I have come a long way in the past two months, and yet there are miles to go before I get to my goal weight ... and even then, health is a lifestyle change that requires attention and dedication for the rest of my life. <BR> <BR> And as great as SP is, and as much as I love my friends here, in the end it is just me on that journey. It is just me in the grocery store, me in the restaurant, ... Sun, 20 Jul 2008 18:50:10 EST Mr. Durden and Dr. Horrible In the past 24 hours I have watched both Fight Club and all three parts of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. <BR> <BR> They have more in common than you would think, as both are morality tales with the central theme being truly terrible things happen when we deny who we really are or what we really want in life. There are also some common themes about living up to our potential and only being free when we stop caring about what others think. But those two things are only possible when we d... Sun, 20 Jul 2008 07:07:13 EST Thank You Thanks for the support and great comments yesterday! I confess did not do so well yesterday on the "being back," the intentions were good but I was so tired that I had NO APPETITE and did not eat nearly enough yesterday. Then I had a friend come by after work to talk about the weekend, we had some wine, more non-eating time, and before you know it hours had passed. By the time I realized how far I was off it was really late and I just decided to call it a day. <BR> <BR> It was a serious... Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:44:14 EST Back in the Saddle Again I took the weekend off from Spark as we had a LOT of people in town this weekend for a big event. It was wonderful, and I am so proud of everything that happened. <BR> <BR> I am also proud of the GREAT feedback I got from people, most of whom have not seen me since I joined SP. People kept talking about how great I was looking all weekend, and that of course felt great in itself. I had the glow going on, and that increased my confidence for the various events that were happening as well... Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:05:42 EST It's the little things ... lost another quarter inch! Some days you wake up and just FEEL smaller. It's a great feeling, and today I reached for the tape measurer ... another quarter inch GONE from my waist!! <BR> <BR> I could not believe it so I measured myself about five times to be sure and each time it came out between a quarter and a half inch smaller. VERY EXCITING! <BR> <BR> This is on top of yesterday, when I discovered I could now fit into the Forgotten Pants! <BR> <BR> Last summer I had an embarrassing incident where stress and... Wed, 9 Jul 2008 08:39:33 EST My Shoulders are on Fire! So today I decided to be bold and add weights to my workout, and now my shoulders feel like they are being attacked by fire ants. In a good way, but still. <BR> <BR> I tried making up my own challenge in the spirit of Project Mayhem, and my Monkey ambition may have gotten the best of me. I added some weights to my work out for the first time today, and my shoulders were ON FIRE when I finished this thing. I also feel really nauseated, but someone in my office just told me there is a stomach... Tue, 8 Jul 2008 12:34:52 EST Miserable: 2 a.m. and I can't sleep Ugh, it is 2 a.m. and I can't sleep. I have a HUGE week heading into an even bigger weekend, where we have over 30 people coming into town for an event. I definitely need my rest, and yet ... here I am, in front of the computer since that is more productive than lying in bed stressing about why I can't sleep. <BR> <BR> I went to bed at a "good" hour, something I have really been working on since I joined Spark. Before Spark I would always mean to be in bed by 10 or 10:30, but my actually ... Mon, 7 Jul 2008 03:33:21 EST ZOMG! I get the Wow! My scale has not been moving much lately, but I figured that is because I am actually building up small amounts of muscles from the PM challenges. <BR> <BR> So I took yesterday "off" from working out to do work a crazy long day at the office, and to my surprise I can tell in a VERY good way today. I guess that whole "your body needs a day of rest" thing is really true huh? <BR> <BR> This morning my muscles feel sore, in a good way, from my challenges earlier in the week. They are ... Fri, 4 Jul 2008 12:26:18 EST Thanks Everybody Thanks for the support and great information everyone! I have been doing a lot of tweaking on my diet since then and my new goal this week is to eat more carbs much earlier in the day. I will let you know how it turns out. <BR> <BR> I also took a step back and realized I was doing too much too soon and had veered dangerously off my original path. I started this journey with the goal of doing one thing differently every week, and then all of a sudden I got very enthusiastic and bit off a b... Thu, 3 Jul 2008 22:18:32 EST Rude Awakenings, or Many Things Are Wrong With This Chart Fighting back tears here. I clicked on my nutrition report, and that's a lot of red dots for a month. <BR> <BR> I know what the big calorie spikes are from ... four days at the lake and too much beer starting June 13, and the previous weekend's evening at a roller derby match involving two corn dogs, some nachos, and way too much beer (hmmm, we may have a theme here). Last weekend's cocktail-party-followed-by-Taco-Bell escapade is also on there. But that stuff is not the near-inducing par... Tue, 1 Jul 2008 18:03:04 EST Short Term Reflections Rereading my last few blog posts, I am reminded once again that this journey is more about mental strength than physical ability. I wish I could remember the SP post I was reading the other day that talked about how everyone who is overweight has ISSUES. <BR> <BR> I was a bit embarrassed when I realized I was talking about battling a mental demon right after a post that got so many "you are doing great!" responses. But it is unrealistic to expect myself to do great every moment of every ... Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:30:49 EST Unhealthy Comparisons Well I made another interesting discovery about myself today ... one related to that age-old demon that many of us have, the one where we compare ourselves to other people. <BR> <BR> Over the past year I have worked really hard to cease this unhealthy habit, and in a lot of ways I have succeeded. Comparing body shapes still happens sometimes, but it is rare. Equating beauty with looking like an unattainable woman in an airbrushed magazine photo is also rare. Comparing outward illustration... Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:43:00 EST Revamping my Vision I made a startling discovery today ... the image that I thought was my vision of success was actually a form of sabotage. I did some serious thinking today, and realized I need a new vision to avoid failure. <BR> <BR> This realization was inspired by Project Mayhem's weekly homework, which included the question "What is Your Vision?" <BR> <BR> Without realizing it, I already had a picture in my mind that I was equating with success ... five years ago my husband and I took our engagement ph... Sun, 22 Jun 2008 12:38:22 EST Hooooly crap, I just joined Project Mayhem! I have been lurking on the Project Mayhem boards for a couple days now trying to figure out if I have the "balls" to join this group. <BR> <BR> Fitness is definitely the scariest part of this whole new lifestyle thing for me ... I was never on teams as a kid, never did very well at sports, hell I never even learned how to ride a bicycle! <BR> <BR> But if I am going to push myself to be DONE, then I need to push myself to be DONE with those fears too. So today I woke up, accepted the chal... Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:34:03 EST New Day, New Attitude Yesterday I woke up and it was like the world was a new place. New light was coming from the sun, and my mind was working in a new way ... <BR> <BR> It's almost four weeks since I decided to make this change, or series of changes. <BR> <BR> It's almost four weeks since I joined SP. <BR> <BR> It's almost four weeks since I decided to stop wishing for changes and decided to make them happen. <BR> <BR> It's going really well. And now I want MORE. <BR> <BR> MORE of this new elixir of self... Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:56:11 EST Wow ... lost 4 inches in 9 days! I felt like my pants were a bit looser, and kept trying to ignore it because I was sure it was just be imagining things. <BR> <BR> But of course, I kept thinking about it. So this morning I gave in and whipped out the tape measurer ... <BR> <BR> And I am three inches thinner at my waist! And I have lost an inch and a half around my neck! WOW! <BR> <BR> It's probably all water weight, since I drank very little water before I joined SP but I have been religious about drinking water the ... Thu, 5 Jun 2008 08:53:31 EST