FINDINGME2012's SparkPeople Blog FINDINGME2012's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Hateing myself Today I put on my pants , one of the two that actually still fit me. They were so tight I could bearly stand it. Everytime I come home I take them off and wear my husbands pj bottems. Today I got on the scale. Which I havent done in awhile. I now weigh 248 pounds. I am suppose to be losing weight not gaining. How much more will it take .. another 10..20.30. when I am 300.00 pounds then is it going to finally sink in... or will I just completely give up. My hip is giving out on my several time... Thu, 6 Dec 2012 10:20:12 EST ugghhhhh.... I am starting to think I will never get back on track. Now I am not only sick with a nasty cold but my hip is suddenly giving out on me. I think it might be my syatic nerve.. Spelling?? I had the same pain when I was pregnant. .. lol maybe my body thinks I am pregnant again since I am nearly the weight I was back then.. Anyhow I get this pain shooting down my leg and it just gives out without warning. Sometimes I swear it feels like it is popping out of joint. Anyone ever had an issue with t... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 00:05:13 EST Back on my feet Well I have learned now when walking in the dark to watch where you are walking.. I now have a flash light attached to my pants ..hehe.I am back to walking agian. My ankle is still sore at times but getting better. I sold my treadmill today. I dont know why I buy stuff for my house. I always find a reason not to use it. I have to say.. I really didnt have room for it in the house. I was always buried behind something.. toy boxes, etc... It was to the point where I wasent using it at all. So ... Sat, 17 Nov 2012 23:52:36 EST Cant believe I hurt my ankle now.. Good Gravy it has been a tuff week. Very tuff. I decided that since I cant seem to commit myself to eating my way thin that I would start to exercise everyday. Then hopefully the healthy eating habits will follow. So I was doing great all week walking my dog. I was clocking in about 45 min walks. Which also are strength training for my arms since he is huge and like to pull me around when we walk. So here I am on friday night happily walking in the dark since it gets dark so early now that th... Sun, 11 Nov 2012 23:32:05 EST Still dealing with my inner demons. Well the last two days I blew it again. I am convinced that I have a physical addiction to food. Or maybe a mental one at best. I blame my husband in part. I was doing so well yesterday till he annouced he wanted apple pie for dessert. Now I had asked him the day before not to bring a pie home. I knew I wasent strong enough to refuse it. However the next day he got one anyway. And not just one but two. He said they were buy one get one half off. I watched him pound down a whole pie by himself... Thu, 8 Nov 2012 09:31:22 EST Still excited ... I am so proud of myself today. Yesterday I made a small goal. To make it through the whole day eating only vegs fruit, and a small amount of protein for supper. I told myself don't worry about the next day, a month from now. Just worry about today. Making small goals is easier. So having made it through yesterday without dieing I am thinking maybe today I can try again. I had the most awesome breakfast . I had my Steel Cut oats cooked with fresh apple . My new favorite breakfast. But today I... Tue, 6 Nov 2012 11:20:49 EST Back on track I had a really good day today. The weekend didnt go so well. I always have trouble on the weekends because I am surrounded by my family ... kids , husband.. all eating food I love . Bad food. I caved several times. But today I did great. At vegs and fruit for breakfest and lunch, no pepsi today, had a small amount of steak, green beans, and potoato for supper. I am proud of myself today. I even juiced today. Mixed pinapple, apple, and orange juice together with some yogurt and made a really h... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 21:23:55 EST falling off the wagon I hit the ground running this morning. Did good all day till about 3pm. That of course is when my son gets up from his nap and my daughter is soon to be home from school. I had another chocolate binge. Not as bad as yesterday. But bad enough. I think I might have trouble with not eating sweets while there is still halloween candy in the house. I have a really hard time when things I like to eat are around me. How do you control yourself? I cant expect the whole family to eat what I do. Its n... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 23:09:44 EST lunch day 1 <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> So I made it to lunch without a snack. This is progress. However I was pretty hungry. So my second new rule.. when starving to death I can override my first rule of eating vegs only if I am eating a good protein source, still have some vegs somewhere on the plate, and if I have to have bread it will be whole grain. That said I had scrabbled eggs wi... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 13:53:56 EST Starting with Day 1 for the 100th time <img src=""> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today I committed to eating a healthy breakfast. My quest is not to go on a DIET. I hope to make a life change. I am going to blog my way all the way threw. The more people who follow my blog the better. It will give me a reason to keep going. I quest is to see how eating healthy, whole foods. Fruits , vegs, whole grains, very little protein, and ... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 11:41:55 EST Still lost So much for finding me in 2012. Its November 1st. I dont weigh any less then I did in January. In fact I probley weigh more now. I am tipping the scales at 240 pounds. My mood swings are terrible. I wake up in the morning angry and depressed. I don't know where my mood swings come from. Probley a combo of blood sugar spikes, and hormone issues due to the fact that I am carrying so much more weight then I should be. I have read that this can mess with your hormones, mess with your whole body r... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 13:35:31 EST Well I am here again. The very fact that I am bothering at all to blog gives me hope that one day I will blog that I have made a lot of progress. I havent been totally sitting on my butt. I have lost about 7 ibs. I went from taking 30 to do a mile on my treadmill, to doing 2 miles in 30. Half walkiing , half jogging. The fact that I have a nice pair of shoes that actually support my feet helps alot. If anyone has issues start with the shoes. It makes a huge difference. I have been trying to eat better. I have bee... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 00:30:45 EST Ashamed of myself..... Well so much for a big plan, its now what... almost April. 3 months since my last post...3 months since the last time I even went on this site.. I dont even have an excuse... I havent lost a pound.. and I havent gained any either Thank You God. I haven't been working out. I would like to say its because I am to busy . But that is not an excuse either. True I am so busy .. but everyone can make time to exercise.. I am just to lazy to make it something I have to do. I look in the mirror and I h... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 00:16:49 EST Another day... Today I almost skipped my workout. However I got myself on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I told myself .. you can spare that much time then if you want to be done for the day so be it. After my workout I decided I would do a few songs on my Wii .. just dance 3. Total workout time ended up being 1 hour and 15 minutes. And I had fun doing it. After the workout I had a apple and a slim fast. I am trying to stay away from the scale. Last time I tried this it actually made me feel worse. I know ... Wed, 28 Dec 2011 14:57:24 EST Gearing up for 2012 I am slowing preparing myself for my new journey. I am trying to make good choices based on wanting to , not because my new diet has started. I got my kids a Wii for christmas. We have been jamming out to some of the Just Dance games. We also got a Nickoleodon game. You know your out of shape when Dora the Explorer can out dance you. I am finding it hard to stay motivated already but I am determined. Its just hard when I have such a long road ahead. I use to wonder .. when I didnt weigh so mu... Tue, 27 Dec 2011 16:42:56 EST