FERRETLOVER1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=FERRETLOVER1 FERRETLOVER1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 09-05-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5991343 I always arrive late to work, but I make up for it by leaving early. Sat, 5 Sep 2015 07:30:24 EST 09-04-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990781 Granddad, what's the best thing about being 100? -- No peer pressure. Fri, 4 Sep 2015 08:02:28 EST 09-04-2015-Thought for the Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990778 "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." <BR> <BR> —Viktor E. Frankl <BR> Fri, 4 Sep 2015 07:58:26 EST 09-03-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990077 JOKE OF THE DAY-Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute. Thu, 3 Sep 2015 07:08:36 EST 09-03-2015 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990075 "I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." - Jimmy Dean Thu, 3 Sep 2015 07:07:20 EST 09-02-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5989368 What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how everything works. <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> Here's to woman power! Wed, 2 Sep 2015 07:20:50 EST 09/01/2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5988589 How do males exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Tue, 1 Sep 2015 07:21:09 EST 08-31-3015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987845 How do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle? -- Shine a light into her ear. Mon, 31 Aug 2015 06:43:47 EST 08-30-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5987214 Irish diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they'll look forward to the trip. Sun, 30 Aug 2015 06:49:57 EST 08-29-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986701 When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday! <BR> <BR> (I know today is Saturday! Please pretend I posted this joke yesterday!) Sat, 29 Aug 2015 07:19:17 EST 08-28-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5986165 Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years. Fri, 28 Aug 2015 07:12:07 EST 08-27-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5985585 If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research. Thu, 27 Aug 2015 07:28:25 EST 08-26-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984937 Where do horses go shopping? Old-neighvy Wed, 26 Aug 2015 06:26:35 EST 08-25-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984299 I get plenty of exercise - jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. Tue, 25 Aug 2015 06:42:36 EST 08-24-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983603 How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. <em>198</em> Mon, 24 Aug 2015 06:26:59 EST 08-23-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5983006 Why are horses always so fit? Because they're on a stable diet. <BR> <BR> Sun, 23 Aug 2015 06:54:56 EST 08-22-2015 - JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5982463 What happened when the butcher backed into his meat grinder? -- He got a little behind in his work! Sat, 22 Aug 2015 07:05:26 EST 08-21-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5981906 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/5429fe74-1d8a-4b6d-a19a-07bfd4f9a8d3.jpg"> Fri, 21 Aug 2015 06:39:33 EST 08-20-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5981297 Why do men get married? So they don't have to hold-in their stomachs any more. Thu, 20 Aug 2015 06:34:35 EST 08-19-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5980653 How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off the cliff! Wed, 19 Aug 2015 05:27:12 EST 08-18-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5980025 Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/f5893205-bc89-403c-b286-d4dba354ea6a.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Tue, 18 Aug 2015 06:58:22 EST 08-17-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5979349 <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/66a43608-09a3-4892-a810-5f50bfade79d.jpg"> Mon, 17 Aug 2015 06:49:55 EST 08-16-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5978756 What did the janitor say when he came out of the closet? “Supplies!” Sun, 16 Aug 2015 06:53:18 EST 08-15-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5978211 Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both si... Sat, 15 Aug 2015 06:30:01 EST 08-14-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY/TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977662 JOKE OF THE DAY - <BR> <BR> Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too". <BR> _________________ <BR> TODAY IS... <BR> <BR> NATIONAL CREAMSICLE DAY <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/ce1149f6-e6ac-4706-9c96-66faf1313b13.png"> <BR> <BR> National Creamsicle Day is celebrated annually on August 14. This is a day to enjoy this refreshing summertime orange and vanilla treat. <BR> <BR> Ice cream and fruit juice in one! <BR>... Fri, 14 Aug 2015 06:21:36 EST 08-13-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY/TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5977033 JOKE OF THE DAY - <BR> <BR> Why did the cookie go to the hospital? -- Because he felt crummy! <em>495</em> <BR> __________________ <BR> TODAY IS... <BR> <BR> LEFT-HANDER’S DAY – <BR> Approximately 10% of the population is a Southpaw. Scientists haven’t discovered why a person is left-handed, but it more probable that you will have a left-handed child if one of the parents is left-handed. <BR> International Left-Handers day was founded in 1992 in the United Kingdom. Because of t... Thu, 13 Aug 2015 06:18:13 EST 08-12-2015 - JOKE OF THE DAY/TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5976392 TODAY IS... <BR> <BR> NATIONAL MIDDLE CHILD DAY <BR> <BR> NATIONAL VINYL RECORD DAY <BR> <BR> NATIONAL JULIENNE FRIES DAY <BR> ________________________________________<BR>__ <BR> JOKE OF THE DAY... <BR> <BR> When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. <BR> <BR> Wed, 12 Aug 2015 05:23:10 EST 08-11-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975755 In arguments a woman has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Tue, 11 Aug 2015 06:54:20 EST 08-11-2015-TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975749 NATIONAL SON’S AND DAUGHTER’S DAY – <BR> <BR> Each year on August 11, parents across the United States celebrate National Son’s and Daughter’s Day. On this day, spend time with the joys of your life, your sons and/or daughters. <BR> Let your children know that you are glad that they are part of your life. Time passes by very fast and children grow quickly. Enjoy every day that you have with them and spend as much quality time as you can. <BR> CELEBRATE <BR> Do something special ... Tue, 11 Aug 2015 06:45:43 EST 08-10-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975075 Irish saying - There are only three kinds of men who don't understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men. Mon, 10 Aug 2015 06:31:12 EST 08-10-2015-TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5975074 â—¾National Lazy Day <BR> Today there will not be much information regarding this annually celebrated holiday as we do not feel like doing any research. Actually we do not feel like doing anything at all. So we are in our hammocks with a couple of good books and glasses of lemonade and iced tea. Yes, it is National Lazy Day and we choose to be lazy other than telling you that this holiday is observed each year on August 10th. The creator and origin of National Lazy Day, an “unofficialâ€... Mon, 10 Aug 2015 06:29:54 EST 08-09-2015-TODAY IS... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974540 â—¾National Rice Pudding Day <BR> â—¾National Veep Day <BR> â—¾National Book Lovers Day <BR> Sun, 9 Aug 2015 07:48:22 EST 08-09-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974529 Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/4e449b72-a17c-4a32-8486-a0a2add93fce.jpg"> Sun, 9 Aug 2015 07:14:59 EST 08-08-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5974015 A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says: "Sorry, we don't serve food in here." <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/85f820ef-ed52-4b22-a5fb-bd1e526b1f1b.jpg"> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/c8ff9e66-b75f-4d36-82ef-60509f3cadef.jpg"> Sat, 8 Aug 2015 06:20:45 EST 08-07-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973516 What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill. <em>160</em> Fri, 7 Aug 2015 06:18:12 EST 08-06-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5972971 Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? A: Because she threw out all the bent ones. <em>265</em> Thu, 6 Aug 2015 06:49:16 EST 08-05-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5972400 Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it... Wed, 5 Aug 2015 06:36:01 EST 08-04-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5971817 When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is. Tue, 4 Aug 2015 07:01:37 EST 08-03-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5971238 What do you do if a idiot throws a grenade at you? -- Pull the pin and throw it back at him! Mon, 3 Aug 2015 08:17:03 EST 08-02-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970619 What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? I wonder if it's mine. Sun, 2 Aug 2015 07:25:41 EST 08-01-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5970110 Why does the blonde have the biggest boobs in the sixth grade? Because she's 18. Sat, 1 Aug 2015 07:02:08 EST 07-31-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969584 What happens when you get scared half to death twice? <BR> <BR> <em>40</em> <em>198</em> <em>334</em> Fri, 31 Jul 2015 06:55:46 EST 07-30-2015 - JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969032 Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit. Thu, 30 Jul 2015 07:00:14 EST 07-29-2015 - JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968419 Why can't an idiot dial 911? -- He can't find the 11 on the phone! <em>198</em> Wed, 29 Jul 2015 06:48:14 EST 07-28-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5967800 The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. <BR> <BR> <em>334</em> <em>22</em> <em>334</em> Tue, 28 Jul 2015 06:51:08 EST 07-27-2015-JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5967231 Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict! <BR> <BR> <em>160</em> <em>334</em> <em>160</em> Mon, 27 Jul 2015 06:40:01 EST 07-26-2015 - JOKE OF THE DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5966717 What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller. Sun, 26 Jul 2015 06:42:20 EST 07-25-2015 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5966286 If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? Sat, 25 Jul 2015 06:10:12 EST 07-23-2015 - Joke of the Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5965276 Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? -- She didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills! Thu, 23 Jul 2015 07:03:17 EST 07-22-2015 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964705 Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain. <BR> <BR> <em>353</em> <em>355</em> <em>354</em> <em>356</em> <em>27</em> <em>257</em> <em>350</em> <em>351</em> <em>352</em> <em>353</em> <em>354</em> <em>355</em> <em>356</em> <BR> Wed, 22 Jul 2015 06:42:34 EST