FERN97's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=FERN97 FERN97's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Food is On My Mind http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5276738 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/8/l78365792.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Today, I'm focusing on noticing my moods around food. For the last week things have been going well for me in body, mind, and spirit. I have really started to understand my food as fuel, and think about my body and what it needs before I eat anything. <BR> <BR> But tonight, I want more food. I ate a small but decent breakfast, then had a reasonable lunch at a Mexican buffet (really!), then ate a balanced dinner. Bu... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 23:28:08 EST Beautiful. Resilient. Inspirational. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270071 I feel old. Rather, my body feels old, which makes me feel generally, old. I looked at myself in the mirror tonight and didn't really recognize what was presented before me. Awkward, staring into the eyes of someone you don't know well. All I know is that she is not quite at peace. <BR> <BR> For better or worse, I tend to be a "fixer." It's something I'm working on - remembering that people don't necessarily need me to step in. Don't need to be fixed. But since I tend to do this, I thought, ... Sat, 2 Mar 2013 17:46:21 EST Keep Going http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5267961 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1736197138.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've changed the name of this blog several times - I may do it several more before I find the right one. A few days ago I saw this image, and I've been thinking about it ever since. So far, 2013 has really kicked my butt and it might not be over. I've had a major health scare, loads of family drama, and a burgled house. It's gotten to the point where we've made sure not to ask "what's next?" because we don't want ... Fri, 1 Mar 2013 01:18:50 EST Retraining http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5249757 Today is Day 2 after a wild month of scary health problems, which are finally (mostly) resolved. I wasn't allowed to work out during this time, and I definitely comforted myself with food. Lots of it. <BR> <BR> Last week I had the idea that when my health problems were over, I would do some sort of cleanse. Part of all of this is that we can't try for a baby for a few months, so that opened the opportunity to do something I couldn't do had I been pregnant. <BR> <BR> Of course I went to extr... Wed, 13 Feb 2013 23:13:04 EST Oh the Temptations of the Holidays.. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5169693 Today is the first day of my third week trying to be healthy and lose weight. I was doing well - i lost 2 lbs the first week and thought I was doing well the second week, then today, weigh-in day, I gained the 2 lbs back! I was good with working out, but not as good (at all) with water. I also spent all of Sunday night baking muffins and cookies for a work party, and ate (and ate, and ate) way more of them than I should have. <BR> <BR> The thing is, I feel so awful after I eat all of that s... Tue, 18 Dec 2012 00:20:51 EST Getting Grounded http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5166955 Like so many, when I have emotional days - be they happy, sad, or heart-breaking - I am drawn to unhealthy habits. I want to eat sugar and not exercise, watch TV, or something else that is equally wasteful. Today is one of those days. <BR> <BR> It feels almost as if I am out of my body. I basically get caught in my head and can't make sense of anything, so somehow food helps distract me from it all. It certainly doesn't help in making sense of anything, and in the end is more destructible t... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 00:41:40 EST 100 lbs. of Pressure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5163724 I've had four knee surgeries in my life, three of which occured about a decade ago. Both knees have been bugging me lately, so I went to the bone & joint clinic today to get them x-rayed. It was kind of cool to see the x-rays...I still have a screw in one knee so after the technician came back from taking the first one she asked, "do you have any buttons on your pants?" Nope - that's inside my knee, and it's not a button at all. It was the top of the screw (and really, it's such a clear image... Tue, 11 Dec 2012 21:51:51 EST Self-Medicating with Sugar http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162809 It's what I do. I self-medicate with sugar. When I'm down, stressed, disappointed, etc. It's where I go - to whatever sugar I could find. I've been mostly uninterested in sugar lately, but then today, I had a job interview. It was a game-changer type of job and I way overdid the prep/studying for the interview. I wanted to be so prepared, but then could only focus on how I thought I should answer the questions, vs. just having a conversation. It didn't go very well. <BR> <BR> So after the in... Tue, 11 Dec 2012 02:07:21 EST Next Up: Beating My Record http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162226 Well, I was on Day 7 of my hooping, exercising, and tracking streak, and blew it. I worked all day, then straight to a birthday party, then home for my kid's bedtime, then had to prep for a job interview, etc., etc., etc.. <BR> <BR> Yes, those are excuses, and while I'm a little disappointed, I feel pretty good! My first week weigh-in was this morning and I lost 2 lbs. All week I was weighing myself and nothing was moving on the scale, but then there it was! I'm thrilled, really. <BR> <img ... Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:48:50 EST Day 5 Streak http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5159842 It's not much, but it's better than I've done IN YEARS. Ridiculous, right? <BR> <BR> At any rate I'm feeling good! Day 5 of exercising, hooping, and tracking. Now I just need to stop stepping on the scale every morning... <BR> <BR> When this becomes very routine, I need to add in some daily meditation. But first things first - I'm off to lift a few weights. Sat, 8 Dec 2012 01:45:13 EST