FABAT40's SparkPeople Blog

Repeat offender, stupid is as stupid does.

Thu, 17 May 2012 11:11:00 EST

So I have not been walking, my number one stress reducer. So no surprise I handled my lingering stress by eating so much I went to bed with my stomach so full I actually had a stomach ache. But today is a new day, with new opportunities, so here I go. Good nutrition to take care of me and physical labor to calm my nerves. I'm still not sure I'll walk, maybe after the porch gets painted and the kids get home from school, they like to go
Self sabotage is something that plagues us all, ...

Going to dust off the blender, a little help

Fri, 4 May 2012 10:12:56 EST

Okay SP I'm seriously considering going down the basement and finding the blender and dust it off and actually use it. What I need are some simple favorite smoothie recipes. The ones I have been seeing look great for summer, refreshing and incorporate fruits and veggies. Also, I notice some people put chai seeds in them, are these available at health food stores only? Any secret tips or tricks you'd like to share would be great. Kid friendly is also a bonus.
I have few skills in th...

Who is with me

Wed, 2 May 2012 09:28:22 EST

Okay, I have lost focus, became a mindless eater. I've stepped on the scale intermittently over the past 3 months. My weight has been up as much as 6 pounds. In the big picture this is okay, but I know I still wanted to lose 20 more to improve my health. So I am adjusting myself to be a mindful eater, I will say when I ate healtheir options, I physically felt better. It so so easy to slip into old ways and make excuses that it is easier when it really is not. It is not easier to feel li...

Nothing Better

Fri, 6 Jan 2012 08:38:58 EST

I did what seemed impossible to do. I had a goal that started on January 17, 2011 to lose 80 pounds in 12 months. As of today January 6, 2012 I have lost 81 pounds. I am so proud of myself and the choices I have made. I used to tell my daughter I would like to wake up 80 pounds lighter, and today is the day I have done that. No hocus pocus or fad crazes, just good nutrition and being aware. Mindful eating. I certainly have not starved. I have had celebrations, overate on occasions, but...

So I took a week off

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:49:10 EST

My life is spiraling out of control, not really, but it feels that way. For the first time since January I did not track food for I believe a week. The first day I kept thinking about it but let myself be busy with "other things." I also stopped walking for 1 1/2 weeks, for me not good, walking is my stress relief. So here I sit worn out, dejected, thankful I only consumed 2400 calories instead of 4800. Craving crappy food that makes me feel like crap. Tired from not sleeping and eating...

ONE DAY AWAY

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 10:40:40 EST

I am one day away from making my goal to walk 5 days this week. Last week I let life get in the way , so before I started working last weekend I gave myself the goal to walk all 5 days, back permitting. So far I'm 4 for4 and to quote James Brown, "I feel good, nanananana". I even added to the distance today. My mind is clearer and I have more energy.

My daily stressors have not decreased, in fact they increased. I had another surprise medical bill from the surgery and my books to...

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Tue, 9 Aug 2011 11:34:11 EST

This is how I feel. I keep moving day by day and in a forward direction, but my entire being is blah blah blah. I think it's the increase in stress from returning to work and all the surgical bills and others rolling in. Being off work without income for 7 months has put me in a financial toilet that feels like if something else comes along the toilet will be flushed. I keep self talking that it will be okay, but I still feel the pressure within.

I am so grateful to all my Spar...

What's in a number???

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 10:57:18 EST

So, instead of weighing in on friday only (and seeing a .6 loss) I also weighed in yesterday and today. The numbers show gained. Why am I doing this to myself. I took measurements on Saturday to attempt to detract myself from the almighty number. 5 inches down in 6 weeks. Yet I let that 1.6 pound upwards plague my mind. I tell myself I walked a lot this week and rapid weight loss always comes to an end. Trying to let it go and get on with my health. I am still mesmerized by what a min...

I am amazing

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:25:09 EST

My spinal fusion is actually fusing. I survived 6 weeks of what felt like house arrest. I was able to continue focus on nutrition. I was able to relax and let go a little and the weight started falling off again. I started eating closer to the top of my range. I am convinced that is what is helping. Now I can start moving more, yeah!!!

Of course in my mind I hear, you are not eating enough vegtables and fruit, you are not walking how you should, but I am drowning out that grumpy...

Encouragement appreciated

Thu, 2 Jun 2011 19:57:30 EST

So, I was eating very healthy, but the last 2 weeks despite being within calorie range my consumption of fruits and vegetables is nonexistent. I notice my dinner portion is much larger,and my taste buds are craving grease causing temptation. Not only for grease but carbs in large amounts.

I feel like I am sabotaging myself and need to get back on track. I do feel under more emotional stress. Which could be the reason. Before this mindful eating seemed effortless but now it fee...

emotional hot mess

Thu, 19 May 2011 18:16:17 EST

I am falling apart.. This post op period and my pre op period have added up to too much alone time. That along with a strained relationship of a long term friend-40 years to be exact have left me for the past 5 days in a tailspin. The more I try to pull it together the more I spin out of control. WhenI hit the scale tomorrow i'm sure my instability will show. Not sure this is really a blog worthy whine ,but here it is.

I have tried to reach out to people with the phone- most p...

OMG

Sun, 15 May 2011 14:08:05 EST

I have been through a lot in the last 6 months and yet have felt strong about healthy eating. But yesterday, I had a person in my home , that for me exudes negativity and disdain. I emotionally ate and binged on crap. I felt horrible about myself in this persons presence.. It's like I feel every negative thing she has said to me all at once. My deflector shield was down. Today I am picking myself up. I have decided that I no longer need to tolerate this person in my life, she is not he...

sandiegojohn, you are right

Thu, 5 May 2011 08:45:00 EST

I made it through surgery. I'm walking very well, better than I thought I would after having spinal surgery. Probably the great care I took care of myself with good nutrtion and exercise all tracked here on spark pages for me to see. I am worth the effort, and so are you. It all pays off. Today I continue to move forward and take care of myself in this healing phase.

starting over

Wed, 4 May 2011 08:38:24 EST

I feel like I am starting over. It has been 2 and 1/2 weeks since surgery. I have spent most of that time nauseated. The surgeons office nurse doesn't believe that is really a problem. I took off my pain patch yesterday and am trying to make it on tylenol alone. Sadly I woke up with my usual nausea, trying to work past it. Walked at track for first itme yesterday, slowly but surely. Starting to track food intake today. Due to excessive nausea have been eating unblalnced diet whenever ...

I'm Alive

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 09:54:25 EST

Survive lumbar fusions. first 3 days couldn't move my legs. i think my seight loss and waliking prior to surgery aided im my recovery. didn't eat first 3 days postop-nauseated. but slowly started ordering, there were lots of appropriate choices. a guy friend listened to me order a turkey sandwhich and thought i was being too picky. i told him i was picking what was good for my body. i didn't feel embarassed att all. still not able to eat much so i'm taking a week nutrtion trackin off til...

slowing down

Fri, 8 Apr 2011 18:34:02 EST

Impending surgery fast approaching. It feels like my ability or tolerance for exercise is diminishing. I actually had to stop yesterday. I haven't wanted to have this surgery, but my declining ability to function makes it clear I need to proceed.

I'm slightly concerned about my post op phase and recovery with food. I will not be able to prepare my own food for at least 2 weeks. I have been so up on nutrition tracking and now I feel it will be out of my control. To those who...

Just keep swimming

Sat, 2 Apr 2011 09:21:23 EST

Today I am trying to make a mind switch. My back injury is a wake up call that has produced many positives in my life. It lead me back to SP to take control of my size, which is impeding my health. It made me take the steps to re enroll in school after putting it off for five years. And it's made me re evaluate choices I've made and get down to the nitty gritty of things. Here's some things I've really learned, not just lip service.
1. Talk is cheap. Doing is what counts.
2. My b...

lumbar fusion

Thu, 31 Mar 2011 19:52:07 EST

will ahve to have the surgery. all other options have failed. hopefully will be able to start walking soon. I like to come to the spark blogs to help me remember how far I've come and what a big payoff this is for my future.

crazy??

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 12:23:07 EST

First time in last 5 days my leg has stopped hurting. I am considering going to walk on treadmill. Not sure if it will help or hurt. Mentally it will help but physically it could be a bad decision or not. I miss my walking

lumbar back surgery

Sat, 26 Mar 2011 20:07:29 EST

Looking for feedback, I have 5 herniated discs of varying degrees in my lumbar and sacral spine, I have gotten injections on the nerves. I felt I was improving, got back to work, continued with stretches and strengthing, was actually walking on a treadmill and feeling pretty good. I had minimal flares,but nothing incapacitating like it had been. This all started the beginning of Dec 2010. but today I feel back at squre one. My rt leg is in severe pain. I t looks like I'm onto my last optio...

slowing down,martyr

Wed, 23 Mar 2011 19:06:26 EST

I feel slow, not able to walk last 2 days due to re injuring my back. Happened at work, tried to do too much to make up for others people slack. I always do, very martyrish I believe. Some things need done but others I need to learn my health is important too . I do matter, my worth can not be from how much I can do, but who I am. I still act as if it's from how much I can do. Maybe some daily self affirmaitons til they really take effect. I feel huge as a house today, probably from ina...

cut it out

Fri, 11 Mar 2011 17:21:18 EST

Why is it we tolerate things we know are no good for us? Is it familarity,comfort,fear, the unknown, all of it? There is a person in my life who is so negative it makes me crazy.. She constantly tells me my life sucks, but it doesn't.. She says also, and you wanted all those kids remember, in a condiscending manner, like it's a bad thing. And yes I did want all my children, they are all adopted, and even through rough times I have never thought, Oh why did I do this. I see my children as ...

blahh

Wed, 9 Mar 2011 18:52:41 EST

I feel like Dory from Nemo,just keep swimmin,just keep swimmin. It seems the past 3 weeks I do what I'm supposed to, but that scale will not budge. It seems at this weight more should drop off at this point.

Enough of that. You ever have a "friend" who only seems interested when things aren't going well, then tells you how much your life sucks and then tells everyone else your life sucks. Only I don't believe my life sucks. So why do I not tell this "friend" how I feel. Oh beca...

so far so good.

Tue, 8 Mar 2011 19:01:13 EST

I have made it back to work. I can't do everything,but most things I a able to do. My back emains tenative at this point, but at least I'm not going backward. I skipped loser weigh in last wednesday and I think that helped mentally. I bought a tape measure but haven't used it yet. I will weigh in tomorrow, it may be the last week.I know what I'm hoping for, but if it's not thenumber so be it. My body is performing better. I make it through a 12 hour night shift with water and 2 cups coffee...

carb question

Thu, 3 Mar 2011 09:06:15 EST

I severlycut carbs yesterday and woke up with a killer headache. I think this answers my question. Moderation. I have adjusted my carbs lower ,but not as severe for today. Again I remind myself 1-2 pounds a week is a healthy and sustainable weight loss. Considering the only exercise I've done is some walking I am still on the right path. Patience is required. Reminding myself how much better my body feels eating nutrious food on a regular basis.

carbohydrates key?

Wed, 2 Mar 2011 08:52:06 EST

So less than 2 lb weight loss despite calorie reduction. I read an article that said some people or sensitive to carbohydrates and need to reduce those to take weight off. I believe I am one of those. Pear shapped carb craving person. Chocalate and sweets have never been a big problem, it's always been the carbs I crave.

I am skipping loser weigh in today, in the next few hours it I'm pretty sure their scale will show no weight loss. I weighed myself throughout the day yesterda...

fast or slow

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 09:01:44 EST

I am wondering if it is better to attempt quicker weight loss and when goal is reached change to healthy and mindful eating . Or to have mindful eating and slow consistent weight loss and incorperate healthy habits along the way. I think the slower may be better, it's just the motivation is hard to maintain when the numbers don't drop so drastically. I need to get a tape measure to monitor more than a number. However, at this high of weight I do expect faster weight loss at least til I hi...

tonight is it

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 17:41:21 EST

going back to work ,nervous, trying to say mind over matter, here we go

gorge

Sat, 26 Feb 2011 12:31:07 EST

frustrated easily yesterday, ate out of frustration, poor eating day, woke up feeling yuck, it occurs to me perhaps the reason I have felt yuck in the morning through all the years has been related to my poor diet choices. I must admit since I have been mindful eating I do feel much better in the morning, not drug out,interesting. So I messed up a bit yesterday, I'm okay, a learning experience and move forward. Nervous about returning to work tomorrow, hope it works out.

back to work

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 08:47:41 EST

So although my back is not completely better I have chosen to go back to work. I hope it holds up through the rigors of my shift. I desperately need to start earning income again. I remain on track with my mindful eating. I am being told by a "friend" I should cut my calories to 1200 a day to increase rapid weight weight loss. I worry if I do this my body will rebel eventually and make it harder to take off weight when I palteau. No this "friend" is not a weight loss expert and does every ...

weigh in day

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 09:10:03 EST

Trying to take today more in stride. Appreciate the fact that I have been eating healthy and taking better care of myself. For the first time walked on the treadmill at the y. My daughter had a gymnastic class so I used to time to walk. It was nice to be around people. I was surprised how slow I walked, being able to keep track. I did not feel bad about it since I'm nursing my back along. The fact that I am walking at all is good.

darn ice

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 09:37:31 EST

So I tried to walk this morning, after slipping 3 times before making it 20 feet I decided to turn around and come in. Falling right now with this back injury would not be good. I tried my elliptical trainer, thighs burning within first minute, calves hurting. I made it 10 minutes at a slow pace. I see achallange, if ice tomorrow I'm going for 15. My lower back and leg were a problem this morning, but I continue to try to stretch and move. If today were the test I would say I can not hand...

Heavy Saturday,

Sat, 19 Feb 2011 09:07:02 EST

Saturday some how always feels like a "heavy" day as far as my weight. I don't weigh myself, it's just how my body feels. I will wait for wednesday weigh in. I am eating well and now at least walking. I remain concerned about my back, not sure it will hold up. I also am not taking care of business, avoiding really. I need to contact the college regarding my education and fill out fafsa forms for my daughter who will graduate high school this year.

Best thing yesterday. My s...

So

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 11:14:07 EST

Iweighed myself this morning after losing it last night and eating nachos withe cheese salsa and left over steak. I am down 3.6 lbs. Go figure, It really must be a glitch and next time I need to remember that. Today my mouth taste like crap from eating what I did, It probably was all the sodium. Today I walked twice as far. My left hip hurt and shin splints. I walked through it. Last night my sacrum started hurting pretty good again but only mild this morning. I feel like I need to try to...

AAGGHHHH

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 12:38:38 EST

weigh in- down 1.6 lbs. ON FRIDAY i WAS DOWN ANOTHER 1.1LBS FROM NOW. i'M TRYING TO GO OVER IN MY MIND WHAT HAPPENED. i'VE INCREASED MY WATER, mAINTAINED MY SODIUM. I started walking yesterday,logged all my calories, I think I can't be slowing down yet. I've changed up my food, I feel dejected. At least it is down not up, and I will continue dady by day as I have done, but I am disappointed. The weigh in lady said sometime during the cycle we have a low week and that is normal. I try to ...

still going

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 08:10:01 EST

Not sure how this week is going, Maintaining calorie count but feels like I'm going up not down. Still not able to exercise, but I think my back is improving. That thought may be fear of surgery. Immense stress. Still smoking. Mom transferred to ccu last night. Second surgery done, 2 months after first and it seems we are no farther than when we started. Being in the medical profession is gravely diappointing from the other side. No one really seems to take in all the information provide...

down again

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 07:21:35 EST

continued weight loss. It is slowing down, but still going down. Back remains an issue. No real exercise at this point. Third injection today, hoping it works so I can move forward. My pants are loser which weirdly makes me feel better. Wearing 1 old pair that is a size smaller. I don't want to wear anything tight right now. It is a weird mind game. Tight makes me feel heavier, even if I know it's a smaller size. Is this something I'll have to overcome??? I think it is. Going into 4th ...

belt too big

Mon, 7 Feb 2011 19:17:49 EST

A belt I bought 2 weeks ago is now too big. For the first time ever I had to put an extra hole in it to hold up my pants. Although I feel no weight has come off in past week, maybe there is some toning going on. Weigh in is on wednesday. It does help to have this weekly outside weighin. Only 6 more weeks, hopefully I will have this downby then and won't need somuch outside motivation. Disapointed in my back today. Beginning to believe I eally do need the third injection and hoping it wor...

sunday again

Sun, 6 Feb 2011 18:52:53 EST

So Sunday again and I feel like I haven't lost any weight this week. Afraid to weigh. Got on scale one day afterr weigh in and was up .2 pounds. I have been in my calorie count but sodium high. I have curbed that past few days. Still not able to exercise, that includes simple walking due to ungoing back issue. Lots of stress remains with ongoing back issue, the kids being kids and my mother's failing health. I wonder does anyone else struggle with this? I think I am obesessing because I...

still going

Wed, 2 Feb 2011 10:23:36 EST

it is getting more comfortable living with this eating style. I find I have fear of going over calorie count. I add during the days so I know how much more I can eat, and I've been under consistently. I know I am adding everything, so it seems when I'm under I am missing something. I am snowed in and can't do my loser weigh is so that makes me nervous. I may weigh on my home scale, I think its 5 lbs under.. I think in my head what if I didn't lose any this week, will that diminish my resolv...

struggle

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 15:24:02 EST

switched my breakfast normals and lunch normals today and felt hungrier this afternoon, stiil in goal range but htrew me. Increase in stress today is also a factor. I had a second injection in my spine, this has seemed to help more than anything and after 2 months I can say today I feel hopeful this may resolve. I haven't had limited mobility as of yet like I normally do. So yeah!!!

weight down

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:11:46 EST

loser weigh in and I actually went down. Yeah. Will continue to track my food daily and hopefully within next week I will be able to start doing some exeecise. Thanks to the lady who helped me prep for my class by the fruit suggestion. It made me feel in control and I did well. This is still day to day for me as it is for many people in my situation. To all spark people I feel your support and hopefully I can give you mine.

frustrated

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:02:09 EST

don't feel like my weight is going down at all. Start Pt today but can barely move. Trying to hang onto the fact that I've been eating better and feel more in control. weigh in tomorrow at loser club. Hoping if weight didnt go down won't give up, it's only been a week. I feel like I don't have a lot to hang onto right now.

still going

Sun, 23 Jan 2011 13:23:12 EST

Today could be difficult but I'm going to try to stick with it. Sick child, teenager with an attitude and first night back to work. And oh yeah, frozen pipes in laundry room. boiling eggs now for lunch. Not much to say today. Here's my thought of good intention and hoping others are doing well. I weighed myself this morning, foolish I know, but my scale shows down a couple pounds. I'll see what my weigh in shows on wednesday at my loser challange. I have a digital scale yet scales at do...

first day out in the world

Sat, 22 Jan 2011 18:48:05 EST

I had a class today at the hospital. Funny how those are usually full of cakes cookies muffins and candy, we're in health care. I prepared before going, ate breakfast, which I normally wouldn't do. I took a granola bar to snack on and planned salad bar for lunch if needed. I did find an apple to snack on and it was good. I eyeballed all the sweets and treats as I walked through the room repeatedly there was no alternate route. I so bad wanted to grab one but I thought I wonder how many ca...

stress

Fri, 21 Jan 2011 14:43:56 EST

stressed out about my 7 year old and her struggles, binge ate 2 chicken breast and stuffing, but did drink water with it. in my mind I knew I would enter on my food tracker, can't hide from myself. good news i'm still in calorie and nutrient counts, smart decisions the rest of the day and this will be okay. start back to work tomorrow from my back problem,wondering what career I may choose to move to next,any ideas??

ow my hip

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 07:12:32 EST

going to travel to see my mom again, my hip is still not healed from last trip making if difficult to get moving. feels more like the joint causing muscle spasm. I just keep stretching and wondering is my hip joint toast from carrying so much weight over the years.

My new direction

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 15:11:14 EST

So here I go. I'm trying small changes again and really want to stick to them. I'm going to try to write daily to keep track of my positives. I'll be 44 in a few days and have much to change. I am dressing better, step 1. positive self talk step 2. working on food plan and getting moving.