EVRLNGFOO's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=EVRLNGFOO EVRLNGFOO's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ may goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6153477 april was pretty successful. especially compared to the previous months. I felt like I gained some control. I did my 10 pounds in 10 days challenge and the biggest thing I got from it was a sense of self control. I want to focus on that in may. the challenge had 10 things to do for 10 days and I did most of them daily. in may I'm going to focus on the ones that I felt worked for me. my big challenge is going to be my drinking goal. my goal is one drink on Saturday. that's it. tough, but I kno... Sat, 30 Apr 2016 14:25:26 EST 10 pounds in 10 days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6140807 I've been struggling. for like a year. I've quit, I've given up, I've restarted only to mess up and start over again. I put on a lot of weight. like basically everything I lost since having a baby in 2012. in march the scale got dangerously close to my highest pregnancy weight. that was kind of eye-opening. I felt completely out of control. no matter what i did i couldn't stay on track. I'd mess up at one meal and throw in the towel for the whole week. as the number on the scale crept up i kn... Tue, 12 Apr 2016 14:48:34 EST march madness. sorry, basketball, i'm stealing your game http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6105562 march goals: <BR> <BR> no alcohol <BR> no soda <BR> no meat* <BR> workout EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. <BR> <BR> *except corned beef for st patty's and whatever easter brings Fri, 26 Feb 2016 17:29:58 EST 37 miles. on a bike. 2016, here i come! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6056284 I have two goals for 2016: <BR> lose weight <BR> get out of debt <BR> <BR> big, challenging goals. if I don't take steps to achieve these goals <BR> I will forever be stuck where I am in my life. it's time to get moving in a forward direction. <BR> <BR> last summer dh started riding his bike to work. he became totally addicted to bike riding. he really got into working out and eating better. at the same time I was struggling, as usual, with my workouts and trying to make good food choices. ... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 17:59:32 EST lurking and planning. time for an update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6047940 i haven't posted in quite awhile, but I thought I better give an update. first, thank you all for the responses on my last blog. I really do appreciate everyone's thoughts and concerns. I'm in a very difficult spot, so knowing I have support is so wonderful! <BR> <BR> since I wrote that blog I've been doing a lot of thinking on how I want to turn my life around. as I've mentioned, I do not like where I am. I have to change things. I feel in order to change I have to tackle it all. the whole ... Tue, 15 Dec 2015 14:31:50 EST i quit? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6041797 I've been struggling hardcore for awhile now. I can't pin point when it all went wrong. I keep going back to when I screwed up my knee in march. I got depressed, I felt like I would always be fat. I'd never be able to workout again. I had a pity party and finally got over it. my knee got "better" and I was able to do more activity. but I never got back into it. I've gained the majority of my weight back since march, 30 lbs, give or take. I track for a day and then mess up once and throw in th... Thu, 3 Dec 2015 13:59:59 EST Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6029894 yup, I'm guilty of the old Einstein quote. Every week I say I'm going to start over. Then every week I eat the same junk food, drink too much beer, quit tracking, workout far less that I need to - if at all. and every week I'm so disappointed when I don't lose weight. basically I'm wasting time and money planning healthy menus then not sticking to them. I buy weight loss videos, then let them gather dust. <BR> <BR> enough is enough! <BR> <BR> I know what I need to do to change my life and... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 13:40:05 EST october goals & september success http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6006859 September was hugely successful as far as sugar free September goes! I'm very proud of myself. I haven't had soda since august 31st, I haven't had sugar since august 28th. I weaned myself off a couple days before September so I wouldn't totally detox. I still had a couple days of headaches, fuzzy head, sleepiness, just feeling blah. <BR> <BR> I feel great! I can walk through a grocery store and stare down sugary items without even wanting them. I can go to a wedding and birthday party and n... Wed, 30 Sep 2015 14:25:25 EST what i've learned with my sugar detox so far http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5994871 I gave up sugar for September. it's my main goal. my other goal was to get more sleep. <BR> <BR> my second day of no sugar was bad. I was detoxing like crazy, but I hung in there and I'm so glad I did. I've learned and discovered a lot! <BR> <BR> 1. when detoxing from processed/added/fake sugar real fruit-supplied sugar doesn't cut it. I spent two days eating tons of fruit and I still had a headache, fuzzy head, lack of energy, body aches...ugh, it was awful! <BR> <BR> 2. sugar cravings w... Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:25:57 EST leaving the past in the past. forgiving myself? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5990340 i have to say I'm pretty proud of myself today. I am currently on day 3 of sugar free September. wow! it feels awesome! I can say that today cause yesterday was just one headache that controlled my every action. I don't want to give too many details, but let me just say I consumed whatever I could get my hands on in an attempt to get it to go away. everything except sugar! yay, me! <BR> <BR> so of course I woke up this morning feeling guilty. I ate too much. I drank more than my one drink a... Thu, 3 Sep 2015 14:10:04 EST august has kicked my butt! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5984575 wow, august was tough. I thought it was going to be fairly easy and uneventful. not so true. unexpected nights out, unplanned weekend activities, food plans and menus that didn't happen as planned. after dh's birthday yesterday I think I'm safe to say the craziness is over. though the weekend is still looming. plan free, so far... <BR> I am so looking forward to getting back on track in September. I haven't looked, but I think I gained 5 lbs in august. ouch! that's five on top of the 15 and 1... Tue, 25 Aug 2015 14:27:02 EST the photo that makes you cry http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964397 i went out for a bachelor party for some great friends on Saturday. it was so much fun! of course I ate and drank too much. I mean, I have yet to conquer the restaurant/bar/social scene when it comes to eating well and making good choices. i'll try again next weekend with a bbq. <BR> one of the many partygoers posted pics on facebook from the night and thank goodness she didn't tag me! this pic is just awful! I have no idea why she would have posted it, or at least not crop it. it's a pic of... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 14:05:13 EST watching my goals being achieved http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5961815 working out daily, eating healthy, having less than one drink a day, being motivated to be healthy, taking care of myself...these are all goals of mine and they are being accomplished. by my husband. <BR> <BR> he is riding his bike to work everyday and he's so serious and motivated about it. he doesn't drink much during the week because he knows it will effect his ride. he's eating well so he has energy to do the 18 miles round trip. why can't I do this? I feel like I'm sitting back and watc... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 15:41:53 EST 11 days! 1 week! 8 days! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5944042 I feel amazing! I have been sober for 11 out of 30 days, I have walked at lunch for 1 week straight and I have made my goal of 10k steps a day for 8 days straight. almost to 9 days at this very moment. <BR> <BR> I have so much energy. I feel good. my diet has improved quite a bit. still needs some tweaking. <BR> <BR> the only downfall is I haven't been able to fall asleep the last few nights. I sometimes struggle to stay awake until 8 pm but this week I've gone to bed after nine and just ... Fri, 12 Jun 2015 14:05:15 EST enough is enough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5939746 I've had some interesting revelations this week. it's funny how often that happens on this journey. <BR> <BR> one actually has to do with a blog comment I received a week or so ago. to paraphrase, I'm lazy. this wasn't meant in a bad way, I was not offended by it. it made me think. basically, I want a certain lifestyle and health status, but I don't want to do everything that is needed to get there. the comment was made in response to me having a fear of success. I feel I self-sabotage myse... Thu, 4 Jun 2015 17:10:40 EST survived a major trigger to be booze free for 2 days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5939132 I realized this morning that being booze free for 30 days is so important to me that I'm going to move all my other june goals to the backburner and focus on this one. I don't want my usual failure of one goal to bring on the domino effect for everything else. I'm hoping my success and wonderful feelings for this one thing will trigger a chain reaction for other goals. <BR> <BR> I actually haven't had a drink since Saturday night, but that's not part of my 30 days, so I'm only counting actu... Wed, 3 Jun 2015 15:42:53 EST june goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5935721 ok, so I have to get back on track. I'm going full throttle in june. I can go full throttle for a downward spiral, so why not do the same for an upward spiral? <BR> <BR> I tracked my food intake perfectly Saturday-Tuesday. it was interesting. first off, in those 4 days I ate all my allotted calories, etc for the week! omg. 41% was from various forms of alcohol! after Tuesday I got scared and quit tracking. the last two days haven't been any better. I can't keep doing this. I gained 10 lbs in... Thu, 28 May 2015 12:54:24 EST that one time when i gained 10 pounds in two months http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928691 seriously, since march 14 I have gained 10 lbs! I gained 4.4 of them in one week! <BR> <BR> I can't get passed this all-or-nothing attitude. if I mess up one day I can't get back on track. I say next meal and it turns into next week. and then I just keep going with junk food, booze, etc saying i'll make up for it next week. then I just do worse the next week! <BR> <BR> dh even called me out on it yesterday saying I've lost my focus. <BR> <BR> am I bored? do I feel like a failure since I... Fri, 15 May 2015 14:08:50 EST because it's important to me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5915201 I work out at 4 am... <BR> I track all my food... <BR> I drink a gallon of water daily... <BR> I make smart choices... <BR> I limit my alcohol... <BR> <BR> ...because it's important to me. <BR> <BR> I'm really struggling lately. I have no motivation to workout, I am eating poorly and I sometimes feel like I just don't care. is it worth it? why bother? because it's important to me! I want to be healthy! I want to be comfortable in my skin and clothes. I want to go to the store and like the w... Tue, 21 Apr 2015 13:47:54 EST April goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5900719 March went ok, but the last couple weeks have been awful! i need to turn things around in april or i'm afraid i'll get caught up in the summer craziness and find myself gaining back a lot of the weight i've gained. <BR> <BR> yesterday i researched binge eating disorder and discovered i quite possible having the eating disorder. that will factor into my april goals as well. i figure if people can do whole30 for 30 days i can push myself for 30 days, right? <BR> <BR> 1. eliminate sugar (yea... Fri, 27 Mar 2015 14:33:32 EST i'm a binge eater? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5900085 while attempting to buy a house a few years ago i found out i was an emotional eater. while waiting to find out if our offer was accepted i would feel so stressed and just kept eating. i realized what i was doing and went for a walk. it was the first time i realized i was an emotional eater. i have noticed more since then that i do eat when i'm feeling extreme emotions (or boredom). i have also realized that i tend to drink more when i'm stressed too. emotional drinker? <BR> i've been trying... Thu, 26 Mar 2015 13:14:49 EST can i lose 5 pounds today? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5894661 tomorrow is my first weigh in for my own personal diet bet. if i make my first goal i add $25 to my pot. on friday i was trending perfectly to hit this mark. then the weekend happened. i had my parents over for their birthday dinner of corned beef and cabbage. and beer. heh. i tracked everything, it wasn't a big deal. it wasn't a last minute thing that sent me over the edge. then sunday came. i just wanted junk food. so i had junk food. then yesterday happened and i stress ate all freaking da... Tue, 17 Mar 2015 13:28:41 EST learning to control the weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5888180 i had another great epiphany this morning. my weekends lay the groundwork for my week ahead. if my weekend is good my week is good. and vice versa. <BR> <BR> i've had so many bad weekends in the last few months. busy, lazy, holidays, birthday, plans, etc. there has just been something going on for so long. i've had this mindset where i didn't have a great saturday or sunday (or both) and i'd try to turn things around on monday. by wednesday i'd have a loss of motivation and think that sinc... Fri, 6 Mar 2015 14:07:19 EST who is the adult here? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5886954 me: i want a cookie <BR> me: no <BR> me: but i really want cookies! <BR> me: no! you don't need any! focus on healthy eating today! no mini eggs either! <BR> me: grumble grumble <BR> <BR> then i realized something. i have these conversations all the time. i'm always wanting something or something sounds really good and i just know i shouldn't eat whatever it is and i tell myself no and that it's not healthy. this morning my conversation reminded me of one between a parent and a child. if dd ... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 13:24:04 EST feeling better about things, regrouped over the weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5881238 thank you all so much for your wonderful support in my last blog. you all really got me thinking that i can't expect this to happen overnight, i will have struggles and it can go very slowly sometimes. i just need to focus, and look at past successes. i really need to look at what i'm doing now, what i did when i was successful and what i need to change to make things happen. <BR> <BR> i realized i wasn't giving this my all. i was letting my sabotaging thoughts control me. i was feeling def... Mon, 23 Feb 2015 15:07:34 EST giving it my all, or i'm quitting http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879455 i've been struggling, i've been self-sabotaging myself, i've been lying to myself, i've been full of one excuse after another. when did this start? it's been going on so long i can't even tell. but it needs to change! i've been gaining and losing the same 5-10 lbs for months! i can't do this anymore. i can't invest all this time and money into myself and just keep throwing it all away. i plan my meals and snacks, then just eat whatever the heck i want to. i'm on a food budget and i work very ... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 14:45:42 EST february goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5866017 ok, february. the month that is just no good. so, i need to focus and get back on track and not let any other emotional and whatever else issues have an impact on me. this is about me! this is for me! <BR> <BR> goals: <BR> <BR> 1. no alcohol <BR> 2. stay on plan <BR> 3. work out <BR> <BR> easy enough, eh? sure... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 15:44:47 EST time for a change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859555 i turn 35 in a few days so that's where this is coming from. i've been reflecting a lot over the last few days and it hasn't been good. i'm in a pretty dark place today so i thought i'd get this out. hopefully it will put me back in a better place. <BR> <BR> i've been abusing alcohol since i was 15. <BR> <BR> i've been in debt since i was 19. most of the time it has been uncontrollable. <BR> <BR> i've hated my body since i was about 12. <BR> <BR> i've been overweight since i was 24. that... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 13:32:51 EST derailed: why i call it a goal and not a resolution http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5854400 shortly after the new year i ran into my first obstacle for my 2015 goals of losing weight and getting out of debt. dh's grandfather passed away and we had to leave town this weekend and drive across the state for the funeral. i tried to make good choices, but it was not always easy. though i was more stressed about it before leaving town than i needed to be. i guess that's how i handled my grief. i also forgot to pack my workout clothes. <BR> <BR> though we budgeted and managed to stay wit... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 15:37:49 EST 2015: finding my passion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842059 the holidays are almost over. woo hoo! as much as i love this time of year, i just want to get started on the next chapter once christmas is over. i want to get back into a routine. i want to get rid of the junk food! <BR> <BR> 2015 is the year i'm going to discover my passion for healthy living. i'm going to focus on me in a way i never have before. i'm going to put myself first. i'm going to say no. i'm going to think about my actions before it's too late. i'm going to become the person i... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 14:31:13 EST where is my passion? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831467 i was on instagram yesterday and came across a post about someone (@graciesjourney) being passionate about working out and losing weight. that hit me hard. i have been thinking about it since. <BR> <BR> i'm still struggling with the interested vs. committed idea. i'm committed to working out. i get up every morning at 4 and put in 30-60 minutes. it's not a struggle anymore. it's really nice, i love it! i can't say i'm passionate about it, but i can say i'm heading in that direction. <BR> ... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 15:22:12 EST I need to be committed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829009 I feel like I'm climbing a hill and I just keep sliding backwards. I know what I need to do to lose weight but I just keep sabotaging myself. I feel as though I have no self-control. I have been doing a lot of thinking about interested vs committed as far as weight loss. For some reason I just can't get fully committed. Am I afraid to fail? I mess up once and let that ruin my whole week. Then I spend the next week trying to fix those mistakes only to make more the following day. Why do I ... Sun, 7 Dec 2014 09:12:23 EST december goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825920 november went ok, but i'm never going to survive the holiday's if i don't become more focused and stay on track. <BR> <BR> in december i'm going to focus on eating healthy whenever i can. which is basically monday thru thursday. <BR> <BR> i'm giving up soda. i'm doing pretty well with it right now, mostly i just drink it out of habit. if i can reduce those few times i can finally get past this addiction. <BR> <BR> i'm in the middle of piyo, so i'll just keep doing that for my workout. g... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 17:02:10 EST i effing want this! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815018 i can do this <BR> <BR> i have the ability to do this <BR> <BR> i have the willpower to make good choices <BR> <BR> i don't need soda <BR> <BR> i don't need junk food <BR> <BR> i am stronger than the snooze button <BR> <BR> i am healthy enough to work out for 60 minutes <BR> <BR> i am responsible for my own choices <BR> <BR> i can change <BR> <BR> i am no longer taking my health for granted <BR> <BR> i am lucky to be able to move and choose what activities i want to do <BR> <BR> i ... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 15:49:11 EST a couple a-ha moments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814275 realized a couple things last week: <BR> <BR> 1. i use the coaching thing on the spark ap and read the tip every morning. last week there was one about working to your full potential. i realize i don't do this with my workouts. i don't push myself as much as i should. i don't workout to my full strength and capacity. why? insecure about fat flopping around. scared to get hurt. there are probably a million reasons, but in the end they are all excuses. thinking about this i have been paying at... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 13:45:41 EST november quest: onederland http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810023 i'm so sick of weighing 210. i've been here for months, give or take a pound or two, but i can't get below 210. i'm stressing myself out over it, i'm self-sabotaging myself, i'm getting frustrated. on and on this list could go. i have to take control of this situation and start accomplishing something. i suppose i have, no matter what, i've maintained. <BR> <BR> i can make a list of everything i'm doing wrong, but it's not worth it. the list of what i'm doing right is much shorter. haha. th... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 13:21:50 EST 100 days of weight loss day 46, and then some http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5799331 so i've been a bit mia. i don't spark at home unless it's with my phone cause i haven't turned my computer on in months. anyway, my babysitter came down with the flu and the last week of my life has been chaos. luckily dd avoided the virus. I was home with her a few days when i couldn't find alternative childcare, so i fell behind on blogging about the 100 days of weight loss, but i had my notebook with me. i thought i'd take a moment today to make a summary of the past bunch of days. <BR> ... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 13:34:58 EST what is wrong with me?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5795408 i have no self control <BR> i have no motivation <BR> my week is out of control, so i've given up on the only thing i have control over: food and working out <BR> my willpower is non-existent <BR> why do i keep self-sabotaging myself? <BR> <BR> <BR> i can do this! but why won't i let myself? Thu, 9 Oct 2014 17:25:50 EST short term goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5791138 on november 20th dh and i will have been together for 15 years. dang! i've been aiming for the holidays as a goal for looking good in a cute sweater. last night i realized it would be great to wear something cute for our datenight in november. i'm 70-some lbs heavier now than when we started dating so i want to kind of reduce that amount for this milestone. i can probably lose about 15 lbs in that time, but even 10 would be nice! <BR> <BR> anyway, that's the goal i'll be focusing on for now... Thu, 2 Oct 2014 13:17:04 EST 100 days of weight loss day 26 - 29: 10 pounds to onederland! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789235 i pulled a quick one on mother nature and lost 3 lbs last week. i gave in to a couple TOM cravings, but i think the rest of the hard work i focused on last week really helped out. now, just to repeat all that this week. even after the weekend i had. haha. anyway, i weighed in at 210 on saturday. just 10 (ok, fine, 11) lbs from onederland! holy cow! i don't even have words. it's so close! i lost 7 lbs in the last two weeks. i know i can't keep repeating those numbers, but i can still focus on ... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:29:24 EST 100 days of weight loss day 25: a task for everyone to try http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786887 today's subject is smaller amounts, less often. it deals with limiting ourselves with certain foods. we all have a food we just can't live without. we feel it will wreck out diet, ruin all the progress we've made so we don't allow ourselves to eat it. only to binge on it at some weak point. instead of avoiding these foods we need to work them into our plan with the guideline of smaller amounts, less often. <BR> <BR> first think of a favorite food, something you eat regularly or eliminated o... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 16:08:12 EST 100 days of weight loss day 24 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786207 down 1.5 pounds this morning. that's 3.4 since saturday. i really hope this trend continues until saturday. i am not going to let mother nature get the best of me! <BR> <BR> i did really well savoring my food yesterday. i had to fight some horrible pms cravings yesterday afternoon. brutal! hope today is better! <BR> <BR> today continues the same path: enjoying your food, mindful eating, using food for fuel. it hits close to home because it deals with cravings and trying to find satisfacti... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:49:14 EST 100 days of weight loss day 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785503 my scale read the lowest it's read in ages this morning! omg! i hope i can keep this going until my saturday weigh in (that's my official weigh in). it's possible, it's doable, it's totally gonna happen! except, sigh, TOM is due on saturday. i won't give up though! this week has been amazing! i'm on track, i'm tracking food, i'm feeling motivated and amazing. i believe if i just keep tracking, drinking water, avoiding sodium and keep working out i can avoid the 2 lb TOM gain. <BR> <BR> today... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 13:38:08 EST 100 days of weight loss day 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784861 first! i am .2 pounds away from losing the weight i gained in august! oh yeah! that was so motivating! i realized saturday after i weighed in that those few measly pounds i gained in one week in august (yes, i'm sure it was more than one week. it was more a whole month of bad behavior that hit the scale at once) really got me down. i realized when i saw how close i was to my lowest weight that i could do this. i could succeed! my motivation jumped a lot over the weekend. it feels great! <BR>... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:37:55 EST 100 days of weight loss day 17: a bit of forward progression http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781758 what i've been struggling most with during this challenge is that i'm more interested in losing weight than committed. i catch myself doing something and think, yes, i'm interested. the first time i've actually felt committed was this morning when i finally got up at 4 am to work out. i finally felt like this was going to happen. i was going to get fit and healthy. i got in the shower thinking if i can do this every day and make it a routine the rest will fall into place. the eating, drinking... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 15:47:40 EST 100 days of weight loss days 15 & 16 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781009 i had a great conversation with myself this morning. i really wanted to stop at safeway and get cookies. i didn't have cash on me, so i would have had to use my debit card. for a dollar?! no way. then i thought, i could get a bag of crackers/chips to go with my lunch. but then i thought, no, i do not need those cookies! <BR> this is my conversation: <BR> you'll be late for work <BR> you don't need the cookies <BR> but they sound so good! <BR> no! <BR> i'll get chips so i don't get too hungr... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:57:22 EST 100 days of weight loss days 9 & 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777386 the past few days have dealt with getting people to help you along your journey and asking for help and support and telling them what you want. i am so bad with asking for help, so i haven't been able to get as much out of these days as the first few days. i'm not good at sharing my journey with people in real life. i guess i just feel if i make it too public people will think i'm fat. haha. like it's not already obvious. so anyway, i try to keep quiet about it all. i've been working on being... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 17:06:00 EST health related book recs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777321 i'm looking for some good books to read in the subject of health, food, exercise, etc. i'm reading "the end of overeating" right now. I've also read skinny bitch, the skinny rules, fast food nation, all the spark people books and another series of two or three that i can't recall the name of at this moment. anyway, in my 100 days of weight loss i'd like to focus on learning and being motivated. so any recs are appreciated. <BR> <BR> all books listed above have been very informative and i wo... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 14:36:10 EST 100 days of weight loss day 6 - 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5775864 whatever issues i was dealing with last week are now gone. i'm not sure if it was just a stressful week so when saturday finally came i was so relieved to have free time and the absence of work stress that it all just clicked. whatever it was i was doing great. no cravings, no stress eating. i just had a good weekend. <BR> <BR> today is dh and my 13th wedding anniversary. we did a last minute date night on saturday. sent dd to the grandparent's and went to our friend's brewery where there w... Mon, 8 Sep 2014 12:35:45 EST 100 days of weight loss, day 4 & 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774054 i've come to the conclusion that i'm more interested in losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle than i am committed to obtaining this for myself. that's ok, i'm learning over the next 100, er 95, days how to become committed and how to take control of myself and my life. that's the point. it's not going to happen overnight. i can do this! <BR> <BR> day 4: <BR> boundaries, not diets. this is good, i've been struggling with my diet over the last few weeks. i need to get back on track wi... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 14:49:59 EST