EVRLNGFOO's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=EVRLNGFOO EVRLNGFOO's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ time for a change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859555 i turn 35 in a few days so that's where this is coming from. i've been reflecting a lot over the last few days and it hasn't been good. i'm in a pretty dark place today so i thought i'd get this out. hopefully it will put me back in a better place. <BR> <BR> i've been abusing alcohol since i was 15. <BR> <BR> i've been in debt since i was 19. most of the time it has been uncontrollable. <BR> <BR> i've hated my body since i was about 12. <BR> <BR> i've been overweight since i was 24. that... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 13:32:51 EST derailed: why i call it a goal and not a resolution http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5854400 shortly after the new year i ran into my first obstacle for my 2015 goals of losing weight and getting out of debt. dh's grandfather passed away and we had to leave town this weekend and drive across the state for the funeral. i tried to make good choices, but it was not always easy. though i was more stressed about it before leaving town than i needed to be. i guess that's how i handled my grief. i also forgot to pack my workout clothes. <BR> <BR> though we budgeted and managed to stay wit... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 15:37:49 EST 2015: finding my passion http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842059 the holidays are almost over. woo hoo! as much as i love this time of year, i just want to get started on the next chapter once christmas is over. i want to get back into a routine. i want to get rid of the junk food! <BR> <BR> 2015 is the year i'm going to discover my passion for healthy living. i'm going to focus on me in a way i never have before. i'm going to put myself first. i'm going to say no. i'm going to think about my actions before it's too late. i'm going to become the person i... Wed, 31 Dec 2014 14:31:13 EST where is my passion? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831467 i was on instagram yesterday and came across a post about someone (@graciesjourney) being passionate about working out and losing weight. that hit me hard. i have been thinking about it since. <BR> <BR> i'm still struggling with the interested vs. committed idea. i'm committed to working out. i get up every morning at 4 and put in 30-60 minutes. it's not a struggle anymore. it's really nice, i love it! i can't say i'm passionate about it, but i can say i'm heading in that direction. <BR> ... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 15:22:12 EST I need to be committed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829009 I feel like I'm climbing a hill and I just keep sliding backwards. I know what I need to do to lose weight but I just keep sabotaging myself. I feel as though I have no self-control. I have been doing a lot of thinking about interested vs committed as far as weight loss. For some reason I just can't get fully committed. Am I afraid to fail? I mess up once and let that ruin my whole week. Then I spend the next week trying to fix those mistakes only to make more the following day. Why do I ... Sun, 7 Dec 2014 09:12:23 EST december goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5825920 november went ok, but i'm never going to survive the holiday's if i don't become more focused and stay on track. <BR> <BR> in december i'm going to focus on eating healthy whenever i can. which is basically monday thru thursday. <BR> <BR> i'm giving up soda. i'm doing pretty well with it right now, mostly i just drink it out of habit. if i can reduce those few times i can finally get past this addiction. <BR> <BR> i'm in the middle of piyo, so i'll just keep doing that for my workout. g... Mon, 1 Dec 2014 17:02:10 EST i effing want this! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5815018 i can do this <BR> <BR> i have the ability to do this <BR> <BR> i have the willpower to make good choices <BR> <BR> i don't need soda <BR> <BR> i don't need junk food <BR> <BR> i am stronger than the snooze button <BR> <BR> i am healthy enough to work out for 60 minutes <BR> <BR> i am responsible for my own choices <BR> <BR> i can change <BR> <BR> i am no longer taking my health for granted <BR> <BR> i am lucky to be able to move and choose what activities i want to do <BR> <BR> i ... Tue, 11 Nov 2014 15:49:11 EST a couple a-ha moments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5814275 realized a couple things last week: <BR> <BR> 1. i use the coaching thing on the spark ap and read the tip every morning. last week there was one about working to your full potential. i realize i don't do this with my workouts. i don't push myself as much as i should. i don't workout to my full strength and capacity. why? insecure about fat flopping around. scared to get hurt. there are probably a million reasons, but in the end they are all excuses. thinking about this i have been paying at... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 13:45:41 EST november quest: onederland http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810023 i'm so sick of weighing 210. i've been here for months, give or take a pound or two, but i can't get below 210. i'm stressing myself out over it, i'm self-sabotaging myself, i'm getting frustrated. on and on this list could go. i have to take control of this situation and start accomplishing something. i suppose i have, no matter what, i've maintained. <BR> <BR> i can make a list of everything i'm doing wrong, but it's not worth it. the list of what i'm doing right is much shorter. haha. th... Mon, 3 Nov 2014 13:21:50 EST 100 days of weight loss day 46, and then some http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5799331 so i've been a bit mia. i don't spark at home unless it's with my phone cause i haven't turned my computer on in months. anyway, my babysitter came down with the flu and the last week of my life has been chaos. luckily dd avoided the virus. I was home with her a few days when i couldn't find alternative childcare, so i fell behind on blogging about the 100 days of weight loss, but i had my notebook with me. i thought i'd take a moment today to make a summary of the past bunch of days. <BR> ... Thu, 16 Oct 2014 13:34:58 EST what is wrong with me?! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5795408 i have no self control <BR> i have no motivation <BR> my week is out of control, so i've given up on the only thing i have control over: food and working out <BR> my willpower is non-existent <BR> why do i keep self-sabotaging myself? <BR> <BR> <BR> i can do this! but why won't i let myself? Thu, 9 Oct 2014 17:25:50 EST short term goal http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5791138 on november 20th dh and i will have been together for 15 years. dang! i've been aiming for the holidays as a goal for looking good in a cute sweater. last night i realized it would be great to wear something cute for our datenight in november. i'm 70-some lbs heavier now than when we started dating so i want to kind of reduce that amount for this milestone. i can probably lose about 15 lbs in that time, but even 10 would be nice! <BR> <BR> anyway, that's the goal i'll be focusing on for now... Thu, 2 Oct 2014 13:17:04 EST 100 days of weight loss day 26 - 29: 10 pounds to onederland! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789235 i pulled a quick one on mother nature and lost 3 lbs last week. i gave in to a couple TOM cravings, but i think the rest of the hard work i focused on last week really helped out. now, just to repeat all that this week. even after the weekend i had. haha. anyway, i weighed in at 210 on saturday. just 10 (ok, fine, 11) lbs from onederland! holy cow! i don't even have words. it's so close! i lost 7 lbs in the last two weeks. i know i can't keep repeating those numbers, but i can still focus on ... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 17:29:24 EST 100 days of weight loss day 25: a task for everyone to try http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786887 today's subject is smaller amounts, less often. it deals with limiting ourselves with certain foods. we all have a food we just can't live without. we feel it will wreck out diet, ruin all the progress we've made so we don't allow ourselves to eat it. only to binge on it at some weak point. instead of avoiding these foods we need to work them into our plan with the guideline of smaller amounts, less often. <BR> <BR> first think of a favorite food, something you eat regularly or eliminated o... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 16:08:12 EST 100 days of weight loss day 24 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5786207 down 1.5 pounds this morning. that's 3.4 since saturday. i really hope this trend continues until saturday. i am not going to let mother nature get the best of me! <BR> <BR> i did really well savoring my food yesterday. i had to fight some horrible pms cravings yesterday afternoon. brutal! hope today is better! <BR> <BR> today continues the same path: enjoying your food, mindful eating, using food for fuel. it hits close to home because it deals with cravings and trying to find satisfacti... Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:49:14 EST 100 days of weight loss day 23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785503 my scale read the lowest it's read in ages this morning! omg! i hope i can keep this going until my saturday weigh in (that's my official weigh in). it's possible, it's doable, it's totally gonna happen! except, sigh, TOM is due on saturday. i won't give up though! this week has been amazing! i'm on track, i'm tracking food, i'm feeling motivated and amazing. i believe if i just keep tracking, drinking water, avoiding sodium and keep working out i can avoid the 2 lb TOM gain. <BR> <BR> today... Tue, 23 Sep 2014 13:38:08 EST 100 days of weight loss day 22 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784861 first! i am .2 pounds away from losing the weight i gained in august! oh yeah! that was so motivating! i realized saturday after i weighed in that those few measly pounds i gained in one week in august (yes, i'm sure it was more than one week. it was more a whole month of bad behavior that hit the scale at once) really got me down. i realized when i saw how close i was to my lowest weight that i could do this. i could succeed! my motivation jumped a lot over the weekend. it feels great! <BR>... Mon, 22 Sep 2014 15:37:55 EST 100 days of weight loss day 17: a bit of forward progression http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781758 what i've been struggling most with during this challenge is that i'm more interested in losing weight than committed. i catch myself doing something and think, yes, i'm interested. the first time i've actually felt committed was this morning when i finally got up at 4 am to work out. i finally felt like this was going to happen. i was going to get fit and healthy. i got in the shower thinking if i can do this every day and make it a routine the rest will fall into place. the eating, drinking... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 15:47:40 EST 100 days of weight loss days 15 & 16 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781009 i had a great conversation with myself this morning. i really wanted to stop at safeway and get cookies. i didn't have cash on me, so i would have had to use my debit card. for a dollar?! no way. then i thought, i could get a bag of crackers/chips to go with my lunch. but then i thought, no, i do not need those cookies! <BR> this is my conversation: <BR> you'll be late for work <BR> you don't need the cookies <BR> but they sound so good! <BR> no! <BR> i'll get chips so i don't get too hungr... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 12:57:22 EST 100 days of weight loss days 9 & 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777386 the past few days have dealt with getting people to help you along your journey and asking for help and support and telling them what you want. i am so bad with asking for help, so i haven't been able to get as much out of these days as the first few days. i'm not good at sharing my journey with people in real life. i guess i just feel if i make it too public people will think i'm fat. haha. like it's not already obvious. so anyway, i try to keep quiet about it all. i've been working on being... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 17:06:00 EST health related book recs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777321 i'm looking for some good books to read in the subject of health, food, exercise, etc. i'm reading "the end of overeating" right now. I've also read skinny bitch, the skinny rules, fast food nation, all the spark people books and another series of two or three that i can't recall the name of at this moment. anyway, in my 100 days of weight loss i'd like to focus on learning and being motivated. so any recs are appreciated. <BR> <BR> all books listed above have been very informative and i wo... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 14:36:10 EST 100 days of weight loss day 6 - 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5775864 whatever issues i was dealing with last week are now gone. i'm not sure if it was just a stressful week so when saturday finally came i was so relieved to have free time and the absence of work stress that it all just clicked. whatever it was i was doing great. no cravings, no stress eating. i just had a good weekend. <BR> <BR> today is dh and my 13th wedding anniversary. we did a last minute date night on saturday. sent dd to the grandparent's and went to our friend's brewery where there w... Mon, 8 Sep 2014 12:35:45 EST 100 days of weight loss, day 4 & 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5774054 i've come to the conclusion that i'm more interested in losing weight and living a healthy lifestyle than i am committed to obtaining this for myself. that's ok, i'm learning over the next 100, er 95, days how to become committed and how to take control of myself and my life. that's the point. it's not going to happen overnight. i can do this! <BR> <BR> day 4: <BR> boundaries, not diets. this is good, i've been struggling with my diet over the last few weeks. i need to get back on track wi... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 14:49:59 EST 100 days of weight loss day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772798 not going to lie, today has been tough. my co-worker is a complete flake and is always calling in sick. like clockwork she calls in right around TOM, she calls in when she has a headache, or she's tired. get over it! you're an adult! i have to cover for her when she's gone and it puts me behind in my own position. i covered for her last week because she was on vacation (how she has vacation when she calls in sick every other week is beyond me) so i'm extremely behind. then she called in today... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 18:31:55 EST 100 days of weight loss day 1 & 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5772062 started this challenge yesterday. so far so good! it's based on the book "100 days of weight loss" by linda spangle. i know the challenge is going on here as it officially started mid-august. that's where i got the idea to do it myself, but i knew it couldn't give it my all until september. september 1st seemed like the perfect day to start. the book gives you a small task to accomplish everyday. you keep a daily journal and complete the task there. i've decided to keep a notebook journal an... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 17:27:41 EST as i sit here eating peanut m&m's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770032 i seriously can't wait for monday! i start the 100 days of weight loss challenge on monday. i am so ready for a reset. summer has been crazy. fun, but crazy! there have been countless bbq's, birthday parties, grad parties, etc. so many chances for indulgence. and indulge i did. sometimes is was monitored, sometimes it was mindless. sometimes it was indulgence due to alcohol, or just plain alcohol indulgence. <BR> <BR> but come monday, it's all over. it's back to a alcohol free, closely moni... Sat, 30 Aug 2014 16:27:18 EST september goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768153 i've been away for a week on a work trip and covering a co-workers vacation. i feel like i've been away for ages! <BR> <BR> in a previous blog i posted about how stressed i was with the chaos of summer. i decided to just let it go, enjoy the rest of the wonderful weather while i can and get back on track september 1st. thank goodness i came to this conclusion because it's been a whirlwind and i've had a ton of fun! i have focused on september and what i'm going to do to get back on track. l... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 14:38:29 EST time to push the reset button http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762297 i was so busy last week. i haven't learned how to deal with busy yet. i am beginning to though. i planned things out so i would have healthy snacks and i'd be prepared. but life still happened and things i didn't prepare for happened. <BR> <BR> my week started out busy and just got busier. about thursday my drive began to break down. the power went out at work for 5 hours. a bunch of us went to mcdonald's for lunch since we had no way to heat up our food. i didn't plan this out and i still h... Mon, 18 Aug 2014 17:28:35 EST i'm disappointed in myself. but why? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5759011 i'm looking at my weigh-in results over the last 9 weeks. i've lost 5 lbs. that's awful! that's less than a pound a week. i've lost and gained the same pound over and over. one of those weeks alone i lost 5 lbs. what a rollercoaster! so i'm all bummed about these results. why? i still lost 5 pounds! i had bad days, good days, good weeks, really bad weeks. bad months. i mean, summer is so tough for me. i can handle the holidays way better than summer. that's been my pep talk all summer. it's s... Wed, 13 Aug 2014 14:01:47 EST 4 weeks to go (short term goal) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5748324 i joined weight watchers 5 months ago. i got a deal on a 6 month membership. it's been a great experience. i've learned a lot about myself. mostly that i can't do it alone. sp is not enough for me. i need more real life support. since joining ww i have lost 30 lbs. i never had those kind of results with sp alone. i know that i need the accountability of facing someone in real life. i need to know that someone besides me will see if i gain a pound. i made dh do the program with me and that hel... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 14:39:38 EST overwhelmed (an a-ha moment) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745101 last weekend was supposed to be wonderful. it was the first weekend in i don't even know how long i didn't have anything planned. so i planned on getting caught up on housework. you name, it needs to be cleaned. i wanted to get a book shelf out of dd's room and into ours and put more toys in her room and less in the livingroom (we have a small house). pretty easy. i can clean the house in a day and still get food prep done in a weekend. well, i used to be able to, that is. <BR> <BR> since d... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 16:18:13 EST where did my willpower and motivation go? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5741553 i'm struggling, floundering, being lazy...whatever you want to call it, it's my current life. <BR> <BR> in 16 weeks i lost 25 pounds. 31 days ago (according to my spark feed) i was one lb away from hitting 50 pounds gone. i'm still 1 pound away. i keep losing and gaining the same freaking pound! why?!?!!?! why can't i lose that last pound! am i experiencing a platue? i'm planning all my meals, i'm drinking all my water, i'm eating tons of fruits and veggies. <BR> <BR> am i? yes, just look... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 14:02:33 EST time to get it done! summer challenge day 13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5730698 one of my goals for my summer challenge is to get into a workout routine and exercise on a regular basis. saturday i got up and put jillian in the dvd and killed it. i was going to repeat this sunday. but i woke up late, had stuff to do, blah blah. monday i was going to get up at 4 and do it. my alarm went off and i thought about how sore i was and pushed snooze. i know working out would help the soreness. i know if i got up i'd be less tired. but i tell myself these things and go back to sle... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 15:54:02 EST taking my life back. summer challenge day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5725704 i went golfing this weekend. i haven't been golfing in over 2 years, since before dd was born. i have avoided it because, you know, it's expensive and i don't have time. in reality i have avoided this and many other activities because my fat roll might show when i swing the club or other things that may make the hem of my shirt raise a bit. <BR> dh asked if i wanted to do a golf tournament that his work was involved with. i said yes without giving myself time to really think about it. it was... Wed, 25 Jun 2014 14:56:18 EST summer challege day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724194 so far so good, though it could be better. this was a tough weekend. golf tournament saturday morning, graduation party that night. lots of family, food and alcohol and then yesterday i had to catch up on some house work that i'm crazy behind on. <BR> <BR> i got my water intake in every day. <BR> <BR> i was active every day, though nothing to count as a true workout. <BR> <BR> i tracked everything i ate. the good, the bad and the ugly. <BR> <BR> that's the positive part of the challeng... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 14:31:02 EST summer challenge day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5722205 i love reading member's blogs that are numbered. it's so movtivating to see a streak and how long it's been going, whatever it may be for. i decided to start one of my own. it's a summer streak, so it won't be too long, but who knows, maybe i'll start a longer one once summer wraps up. now that's a sad thought. why does summer ever have to end?! <BR> <BR> this challenge will focus on things i want to accomplish and focus on this summer. summer is always tough for me. people always talk about... Fri, 20 Jun 2014 14:55:08 EST it's too hard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5721426 yup, i said those exact words to myself saturday night. luckily, i quickly realized what i said and told myself, no you're not trying hard enough. <BR> <BR> let me explain. <BR> <BR> i'm working on day 124 of a gallon-a-day water streak. the last 24 days or so have been a struggle. as have quite a few of the past 124, understandably. it's not supposed to be easy! i find myself chugging 1-2 liters right before bedtime lately. i was doing this again on saturday night. this is when i thought... Thu, 19 Jun 2014 13:23:55 EST NSV: my underwear keeps falling down http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5719166 i suppose it's time to go clothes shopping. for bottoms anyway, my top clothes just don't want to get any bigger. <BR> <BR> i was at a community garage sale with dh & dd on saturday. lots of walking. i wore my jeans for the first time in weeks (it was cold and rainy). i didn't realize they had gotten so big otherwise i would have worn a belt. i was pulling them up ever 4.5 seconds. after awhile of walking around, carrying dd, bending, squatting and kneeling i realized my underwear just wasn'... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 14:09:23 EST flat belly june challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709043 i realize it's june 2nd and i'm deciding to do this, but what the hey! it'll be fun! it'll keep my focused. i looked at my calendar this morning, i need to stay focused! hello, grad parties! <BR> <BR> i made this challenge up myself (obviously). there really aren't rules, i'll just do research and try different things as i go. <BR> <BR> i'm almost to 50 lbs gone and i still have this huge belly. my legs are getting skinnier but my belly is taking forever! i'm at size 14 on the bottom and... Mon, 2 Jun 2014 15:24:49 EST june goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706870 1. no soda <BR> <BR> 2. stay on plan <BR> <BR> looks so easy when it's spelled out like that. here goes! Fri, 30 May 2014 14:44:14 EST an eye-opening week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701535 i weigh in tomorrow morning. i know there will be a gain. but i'm ok with that. well, as ok as a person can be. i'm ok with it because it is a learning experience. i got a little out of control the last couple weeks. it all started with mother's day. my intake was out of control. dh was planning a great day for me and i didn't want to make him feel bad, so i didn't track. i just ate what he made. i didn't over eat or anything, but i certainly wasn't on plan. even worse, the day before we cele... Fri, 23 May 2014 14:00:33 EST 5 years of sparking http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698575 i passed my 5 year sparkversary last monday. i meant to do this blog earlier, but things got busy and i was out of town and the whole family is sick. i am here now! <BR> <BR> i remember the day i joined sp. i was reading the reviews for yet another diet book on amazon. i just wanted to lose the weight, but i didn't know how. one of the reviews mentioned sp so i checked it out. i loved it! and i couldn't believe it was free! <BR> <BR> i don't know how many times i have restarted the progra... Mon, 19 May 2014 15:58:17 EST whole foods saved my life http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690625 yesterday i wrote a blog about whole foods ruining my life. obviously (i hope) in jest. since i wrote it i have been thinking about how different my life has been in the last couple months. i thought i should follow up with a blog about the awesomeness of whole foods. <BR> <BR> as i mentioned, my new year's goal was to get the processed food out of my life. it's been going very well. yes, there are those times when your life doesn't go the way you had planned. especially when you are a one ... Thu, 8 May 2014 14:24:23 EST whole foods ruined my life! (and an NSV) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5689845 ugh, someone put me out of my misery! <BR> <BR> there was a time not so long ago when i would eat processed foods without even thinking about it. hot pockets for my morning snack, frozen burritos and taquitos for dinner. frozen pizzas were a life saver! no better snack then chips and dip. <BR> <BR> 2014 i decided to cut out the processed food. it's been going pretty well. the last month and a half i have been going very strong with the whole foods. aside from diet soda. i cannot kick that ... Wed, 7 May 2014 13:50:00 EST no way, may day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685758 had a great day yesterday. i focused on my goals. i did not get up at 4 to work up. i had a bit too much fun the night before. date night with the hubby. it had been far too long since we had one of those. <BR> <BR> i did get my lunchtime walk in though. and all my water. i had no soda and no alcohol. i stayed on plan and made a delicious dinner of stuffed peppers and baby bellas last night. so tasty! <BR> <BR> i need some help with breakfast. i follow a 3 hour eating plan. here's how my ... Fri, 2 May 2014 12:22:17 EST april was not good, lesson learned. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5684027 march. march was amazing! i ate well. i exercised regularly. i didn't drink. ah, to be in march again. <BR> <BR> april was not great. i ate well, but not well enough. i didn't exercise nearly enough. thanks to the rain and the snooze button. heh. and the weekends were a bit crazy. hello, fireball! <BR> <BR> in a nutshell, i lost 12 lbs in march and 4 in april. i mean, a loss is a loss, but that's a bad, bad average. <BR> <BR> so may is going to look a bit more like march. it has to! i w... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:45:26 EST may goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682489 well, april didn't go as well as i'd hoped. i lost quite a bit of weight in march, but april averaged about 1 lb a week. lots of reasons for this: rain, bad food choices, still not able to work out at 4 am. <BR> <BR> with that said, i know what i need to work on in may: <BR> <BR> 1. work out at 4 am <BR> 2. continue avoidance of alcohol <BR> 3. better food choices <BR> <BR> i was doing real well getting up at 4am and working out. then the holidays, stress, sickness took over and the snooz... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 14:22:30 EST goodbye, alcohol: a farewell letter to a friend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5678711 i recently read a blog here about writing a goodbye letter to alcohol. i researched this further and found it's something alcoholics, or people with alcohol problems, do to help eliminate alcohol from their lives. i thought this would be perfect for me! i definitely have a problem with alcohol and it is certainly a toxic friend of mine. i am no stranger to eliminating toxic people from my life, so why not kick this one to the curb as well? i'm all about writing the Letter Than Will Never Be S... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 13:10:06 EST 1 pound away from my first milestone http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5677203 i have some key weights i'm aiming for. kind of like milestones on the way to my final goal weight. one of them is 224. random yes, yet not so random because it was the weight i was when i got pregnant. it was also the weight i was a month or so after giving birth. it slowly crept back up over the last year and a half or so. it's my platform weight. i hit it every once in awhile and BOING i bounce right back up. NOT THIS TIME! i'm going to crash right through it. or i'm going to lose one poun... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 15:36:25 EST downward spiral http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5674339 i'm out of control! i have to stop this now! <BR> <BR> whiskey showed up last night. i was going to have 2 drinks. turned into many more than that. now i'm sitting here eating a hot pocket cursing myself and my lack of willpower. <BR> <BR> why am i slipping? i was doing so well. why do i keep doing this to myself? <BR> <BR> why does alcohol have so much power over me? why do i allow this to happen over and over? i know i'm not an alcoholic. i could easily become one. that scares me. i d... Thu, 17 Apr 2014 11:59:05 EST