ERINLINDSAY83's SparkPeople Blog ERINLINDSAY83's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Thoughts and Ramblings I've been meaning to blog for a while....just haven't had much time. I have a bunch of random thoughts in my head, and I'm just going to put them out there! <BR> <BR> The church sermon from a few weeks ago is STILL in my head! (Sure sign of an amazing sermon, eh?!) This was *not* by any means the whole sermon...or even the "gist" of it. These are just a few things I took away from it that have been on my mind. <BR> <BR> ~Living for Christ... Pastor described to us what this might look l... Wed, 22 Oct 2014 14:42:35 EST God is Still Here! Life has been VERY trying for myself and my family lately. (Yeah, everybody's is...but I need to preface this story by saying that...) It seems that just when we think things can't get worse, hey, surprise! They do. <BR> <BR> <BR> Anyways, my husband Josiah and I went camping over the weekend. (Desperately needed relaxation.) Our campsite was about a half mile away from the actual campground. It was on a trail, through the woods, up a hill.....remote. Perfect! We were surrounded by nothi... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 23:13:52 EST Backyard Camping <img src=""> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We were only able to take our kiddo on one camping trip this year due to scheduling conflicts, so we decided to give her one more campout before it was too cold. We pitched the tent in the backyard, had a nice bonfire and made s'mores. It was something so simple and so easy, but it totally made her day. Sat, 27 Sep 2014 10:51:27 EST Polyvore and UrbanOg I love Polyvore....I spend hours every workday (I have a job where I do a lot of sitting,) making outfits on Polyvore. I do it because I love fashion and it's just fun! In the past, Polyvore has made a featured story about my blog and I've won a few contests. <BR> <BR> This week Monday, I won Top Fashion Set of the day. Woohoo! It's just a neat little feeling to know someone appreciates my fashion! But then......! But then today I won Top Fashion Set of the Day AGAIN! (Here's... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 19:31:54 EST Walk to End Alzheimer's 9-20-14 <img src=""> <BR> (Brother-in-law, Older Sis, Younger sis, Me, Husband, and my niece in the front.) <BR> Our Team <BR> Mon, 22 Sep 2014 09:53:19 EST Reentry and Tomorrow Today was my "reentry" into the working world. I was off for one week to care for my mom in her last days of life. Then I was off 1 week for her funeral and mourning . I decided to go back to work sooner rather than later...just for the distraction. When my mind isn't focused, it drifts back to watching my mom die; gasping for her last breaths. Not cool. <BR> <BR> Well, the day went ok. Pretty depressed, but functioning alright. Mostly, I'm just sick of people asking me how I'm doing. Ok, ... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 20:00:46 EST Strength in God I found this prayer (and list) out of my new Bible study to be encouraging, so I thought I'd share. <BR> <BR> (Stronger by Angela Thomas.) <BR> <BR> God, I want to know You more. I want to learn and grow and understand Your powerful words. In so many ways, I desperately need to become stronger., so teach me about who You are and the strength You give. Bring Your light into my dark places; help me to focus on You. Just You, Lord. Amen. <BR> <BR> <BR> God is stronger than.... <BR> -Your gr... Fri, 19 Sep 2014 12:04:39 EST Walk to End Alzheimer's I posted a blog a few weeks ago about our participation in the local Walk to End Alzheimer's. So far our team has raised $1455.00 to help in the research to find a cure for Alzheimer's. My mom passed away on Tuesday 9-9-14...but we will definitely still be walking. We aim to help all families, not just ours. No one should have to deal with the pain associated with a loved one having this tragic disease. This is our team page. Feel free to donate if you can spare a dollar or two. If not, pleas... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 15:53:24 EST Mom Has Passed Away.... I'm not sure what to I'm going to blog. I've been running errands for 13 hours straight today.... and have just now gotten the chance to sit. But, now that I sit, grief is hitting me hard. <BR> <BR> As many of you know, my mom, age 54 was diagnosed with Early On-Set Alzheimers 3 years ago. She was the sweetest, goofiest, most beautiful, most fun mom and wife ever. Her health deteriorated quickly. (They found out she has a genetic defect that they assume all her kids have as well, bu... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 22:12:11 EST No Clever Title... My mom has been in home hospice care for 3 weeks now....steadily declining. She stopped breathing for a bit over night...but began again on her own. She eats about 100 calories a day...and drinks no more than a few ounces. It's heart wrenching. She's also been choking on everything lately too. We know it would be better for her if she just passed....but we aren't ready to lose her. (Not that anyone is ever ready to lose a loved one...) <BR> <BR> Because apparently this isnt enough stress f... Fri, 5 Sep 2014 13:30:26 EST Five Years August 29th is our "Corn-Roastaversary." We met at church. And August 29th, 2009 was the first time we spoke outside of church; We went out to lunch. We've been inseparable since then. <BR> <BR> This man changed my life. I love him more than I ever knew possible. He is a strong Christian man. A loving father. A doting husband. A perfect best friend. <BR> <BR> It's been 5 years, some ups and downs, a sadistic nutcase trying her best (and failing) to tear us apart, lots of health issues, ... Wed, 27 Aug 2014 11:36:15 EST A bunch of words.... I've felt like blogging all day...but not sure why or what about. <BR> <BR> We've gotten my mom set up with home hospice care. Post-Mortem arrangements will be made tomorrow, since the hospice nurse advised us to get this done sooner rather than later, because mom could leave us any time now. I can't fathom this. <BR> <BR> I haven't been crying. I am a hugely emotional person, and I haven't been crying. I know this is a bad sign...but I don't know what else to do. I feel like if I start ... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 19:47:35 EST Quotes I could have used this quote a few months ago.... wow! <BR> <BR> "God often uses other people as the chisel to carve true integrity into our rough personalities." - Beth Moore <BR> <BR> Another good one.... <BR> <BR> "What Satan and others mean for evil in ou lives, God wouldn't have allowed unless it could be used for good in some way." - Beth Moore <BR> <BR> Love hearing awesome truths that really hit things home for me! Wed, 13 Aug 2014 12:25:01 EST Bahaha! Look what I found?! I've been working on cleaning out my parents' attic for a LONG time. After over a dozen hours, I'm only about 1/4 of the way done. I've salvaged a few cute pieces of clothes for my girls, and a few toys...but most of it is heinous garbage. Sometimes I find a true gem....and it actually fits me. I laughed sooooo hard about this one.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Mon, 11 Aug 2014 23:41:36 EST Update on Mom.... Last week, my mom was given less than 6 months to live; could be days, weeks, or months. Her Alzheimer's is now deteriorating the part of her brain controlling basic functions. She was in the hospital a few days last week, and was brought home on Thursday into home hospice care. <BR> <BR> We spent the night on Friday rearranging furniture at their house to accomodate her wheelchair (which she now has to stay in, since her legs randomly stop working) and a hoyer lift. <BR> <BR> My pare... Mon, 11 Aug 2014 13:01:17 EST Miracle and my Mom.... Yesterday early moning my Dad called me to come over and help him with my mom; he couldn't get her to wake up, and the doc told him to take her to the ER. We got her in the car and over to the hospital. She was basically dead to the world. We couldn't get her to wake up, no matter what the docs did. She was having very labored breathing....just struggling. (She has a very strict DNR due to the disease, so nothing was done to help her breathe.) It was heartwrenching. <BR> <BR> After 5 hours ... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 11:07:24 EST Non-Christians Need Not Read I don't mean to discriminate, but the quote I'm about to share will aggravate at worst, or not matter at best, to anyone who isn't a Christian. <BR> <BR> "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." - A.W. Tozer <BR> <BR> Wow! I don't need to expand on that....I was just a bit speechless when I heard that at church yesterday. Love it. <BR> <BR> On a side note, I've had it mentioned to me that it is wrong for me to be mad at God. Um...huh? <BR>... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 11:39:00 EST Need Your Help - Alzheimer's It's that time of year again! I am started to fund raise and find sponsors for our annual Walk to End Alzheimer's! <BR> <BR> We walk for my mom. She is still physically alive, but is no longer 'with us.' She is 54 and has a very aggressive Early Onset Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed at age 52. Since then, She has completely forgotten everyone in her family, immediate and extended, stopped speaking, begun to lose bladder/bowel control, and can no longer dress, bathe, feed herself. I have... Fri, 1 Aug 2014 14:19:13 EST 50 Shades of Grey So I decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey. Less for personal enjoyment, more for "social analysis." Ugh. This book disgusts me. How can anyone enjoy this?! And I'm not talking about the sexuality. I knew vaguely what it was about when I set out to read it. <BR> <BR> Everytime I read this book....I get pissed off. How can anybody be attracted to the man known as Christian Grey?! Women seem to be gaga for this guy...and I just want to run him over with a truck. It's not an amazing or engagin... Wed, 30 Jul 2014 15:22:55 EST Yoga Ok. Let me put this out there. I hate yoga. Well, hate is a strong word....but, I've never been a fan of it. I need something that *feels* like I am getting a great workout. (e.g. lifting heavy weights or cardio that has me breathless and sweating.) Up until recently, I've always been a very flexible, very strong person. (I was a gymnast strength and flexibility were my strong suits.) yoga was always just too "easy" for me. For that reason, I've stayed away from it. <BR> <BR> Well, as... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 13:59:22 EST One Question Yesterday at church the topic came up ..."If you could ask God one question...what would it be?" <BR> <BR> There were a lot of interesting responses that came up. None of them were like mine. Mine are a lot of "why" questions, though they all tie together. <BR> <BR> "Why did God create evil?" <BR> <BR> Most people would answer ...well that's just dumb! God didn't create evil! <BR> <BR> But the more I think about it, the more perplexed I become. This has been one of those questions th... Mon, 28 Jul 2014 12:18:05 EST Hreathfire Hubs has been out of town all weekend playing a big gig with his band in Indianapolis. (Not bad for a band that he *just* started in December!) Anyways, here's a clip from their show at the local bar down the street. (DH is the handsome drummer.) <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Sun, 27 Jul 2014 14:42:00 EST Took my Baby to the Fair! DH is out of town for the weekend. (His band is playing some big gigs in Indianapolis.) I decided to surprise my baby (niece) with a trip to the county fair! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> "Hey Maddie...guess where we're going?!" <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Watching the BMX Bikers. Oh he loved that! <BR> ... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 22:32:30 EST Pondering..... <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This isn't by any means new or even new to me. But, it's been on my mind a lot lately. <BR> <BR> (Of course, there are exceptions to this. If one of my friends is feeling down or having a rough time, I will send an anonymous card in the mail, just to lift their spirits. This, of course, I wouldn't want to be found out, but totally different scenario.) <BR> <BR> Part of my thought process about this is FB privacy... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 13:30:35 EST More Random Questions....Yup, Bored at work again. Would you like to be famous? In what way? <BR> ~ No! I don't like people looking at me! Don't like a bunch of attention. I'm already self-conscious. I don't need the world scrutinizing me! <BR> <BR> Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why? <BR> ~Sometimes.... only for "difficult" phone calls. Though I typically choose email or text over calling, because I write better than I speak. <BR> <BR> What would constitute a perfect day for you? <BR> ~Church, ... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 11:33:22 EST Quite Bored...Survey! Bored at work, found a survey....going to do (You can tell I'm bored, as this is my 3rd blog of the day, lol.) <BR> <BR> 1.) What brings you the greatest joy? <BR> ~ The greatest? Don't know if I can pick. Listening to my girls laugh and have fun. Feeling the love I have for my husband. Camping. Seeing my Mom smile. <BR> <BR> can one pick the absolute greatest joy? <BR> <BR> 2.) What brings you the greatest satisfaction? <BR> ~Well, I love when Emma reminds me ... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 16:33:51 EST Dry Needling and Bitterness So I had my first dry-needling appointment on Thursday. They were hoping this would really jump start some healing in my neck/upper back/shoulders...and aid in the treatment of the daily headaches. <BR> <BR> I confess...I had my hopes up a bit...which I should know better than to do. So I got to the appointment, a bit nervous about having needles repeatedly poked into tight muscles and knots to try and get them to release. (Husband likes to think I'm being tenderized like Pretty... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 14:23:04 EST Family Camping - Pics! <img src=""> <BR> Family Camping!!!!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Daddy taking his girl out on a row boat! <BR> <BR> He did a lot of boating! Loves being out on the water. Rented a kayak, canoe, row boat and paddleboat! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Me and my husband at the beach. Love this man! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://ph... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 10:52:16 EST Perspective This has nothing to do with health, fitness or diet. I just came across it and loved it. It just shows how a different perspective can completely change the way you see something. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>marks-from-a-different-point-of-view/ </link> Wed, 16 Jul 2014 23:52:49 EST Life So, I'm still miserable from the daily migraines. Life is KICKING my butt!!!!!! Still going to physical therapy twice a week and chiro once a week.....still hopeful it will eventually help. I start dry-needling on Thursday. I'm a little nervous (who likes being stuck repeatedly in the same area with needles?!) But, at this point 'Im willing to try anything! I'm just a bit nervous, because we leave to go camping Fri morning, so I'm hoping it doesn't leave me with a worse than usual headache. <... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 18:45:28 EST Physical Therapy/Headache update Background: Headache or migraine every single day (literally) for the past 15+ years. Have tried just about everything. Diets, vitamins, supplements, drugs, botox, etc etc. Been tested for just about everything, had the scans, etc. <BR> <BR> I decided to give physical therapy a whirl again. With my headaches, I have bad neck and back pain everyday. I was told that the headaches could be causing the neck pain, or the neck pain giving me headaches. But, they don't know the cause of the headac... Fri, 11 Jul 2014 11:00:12 EST Ramblings Wow...haven't blogged in some time. There is no rhyme or reason to this blog...I'm just bored at work. <BR> <BR> Well, I ditched my "broken foot orthopedic boot" 2 weeks early. It seemed to be healing rather well, per the xrays, despite the weekend of rock climibing and hiking just twoo weeks after inital fracture...oops! lol. I just couldn't bear wearing flats any longer! Apparently I have an unhealthy addiction to heels...and I'm ok with that. <BR> <BR> I hadn't realized until negative f... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 15:20:23 EST Out on the Lake <img src=""> <BR> Yes please! Hanging out at the cottage with our best friends. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Hubby decided to kayak out to meet u... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 11:01:10 EST Camping and Climbing at Mill Bluff State Park <img src=""> <BR> <BR> My perfect life! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Beach time, too! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We love climbing! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> ...and climbing! <BR> <BR> <img src=""... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 20:57:49 EST Must. Meditate! Must meditate on this verse.... <BR> <BR> Proverbs 24:17-18 <BR> Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles...or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them. <BR> <BR> <BR> It is such ungodly behavior....but my human nature wants nothing more than to grin. Sat, 7 Jun 2014 12:48:56 EST My Fortunes Working on today's Bible Study homework (Beth moore's "Stepping Up",) God once again gave me one of His famous nudges. I've been dealing with a lot of unforgiveness, hurt, and anger. Counseling hasn't seemed to help, though I will continue to go.. <BR> <BR> Today we read Jeremiah 29: 12-14 <BR> "You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you”—this is the Lord’s declarati... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 15:33:32 EST Dealing with some crippling pride.... So I am dealing with some crippling pride, but it's probably not what you may think. <BR> <BR> It's a very juvenile-type pride. Somewhat along the lines of .. "Your dad can lift 150 pounds? oh yeah? Well, *my* dad can lift 200 pounds!" Kind of like that, only reversed. <BR> <BR> I see people post on Fb things like "ugh, can't anything ever go right for me?" or post about how they hope life gets better. I think things like... "Oh, your bf broke up with you? You poor thing! MY MOM DOESN"T ... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 20:39:34 EST DEER IN MY POOL!!!!!!!!! Decided to go for a dip today for the first time this year! Just spent a lot of time and a lot of money opening up the pool. Walked into the fully fenced in yard, where all the gates were the middle of the find a deer stuck in the pool. Poor girl was terrified and exhausted! (My husband DID get her out...lassoed her with the hose...while 6 police men watched...thanks guys....) Sat, 31 May 2014 17:29:01 EST "For I know the Plans I have for you" - Satan We did an exercise in our Bible Study homework today that I really enjoyed. We were looking at Jeremiah 29:11. ("For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.") <BR> <BR> The exercise was to look at this as if it was coming from Satan....what *his* plans are for us. We were to take the verse spoken by God, and reverse it...since Satan's will is the opposite of God's. <BR> <BR> Satan's version that I ... Fri, 30 May 2014 13:11:11 EST Prayer Our church has been working on a sermon series about fasting and prayer. Pastor believes fasting is a lost discipline. The Bible *does* mention it frequently (even in the New Testament.) We, the congregation, have been challenged to join the church and other members in a time of fasting and prayer each week. <BR> <BR> When people hear this, they think, no eating. True, most people who fast abstain from food. But there are many types of fasting! (Just think of the season of Lent. The things ... Wed, 28 May 2014 14:16:28 EST Camp! This weekend my best friend Kristin, my husband and I took a group of 20 kids to an adventure church camp. These kids are what would commonly be called "troubled youth." Most of hem have at least one parent in jail, one parent an alcoholic or drug addict, etc. Kristin runs a ministry called Helping Hands for Christ. She rents an apartment in a low-income part of town and meets once a week for "church" with these kids (ages 6 to 17.) She has a "food pantry" where the kids can take some food it... Mon, 19 May 2014 10:10:01 EST Prodigal Son..... Arrogance This will be long and rambly..... rambley? <BR> <BR> Ok.... the backstory.... I will try to keep this to the point... <BR> <BR> I've had a bit of Middle Child Syndrome going on for the past year-ish. ( I am the middle child. And it's always been like this, but much more exaggerated lately.) <BR> <BR> Both of my sisters (as well as me and both parents) have major health problems. It's been very apparent that I rank quite low on my dad's "care" radar. My mom has advanced alzheimer's and ha... Mon, 12 May 2014 15:15:07 EST My Body....berzerk! So have you ever been so stressed out, that your body goes berserk? I have.... I'm sitting here 5 hours post surgery, realizing that this surgery....this massive amount of due to stress. <BR> <BR> In the summer/fall of 2011, I went through an extremely stressful time in my life. I've never had stress manifest as physical symptoms (aside from the normal muscle aches and such.) I ended up getting hives.... head to toe. Lasted for a couple years. They were awful. <BR> <BR> I also g... Tue, 6 May 2014 18:25:48 EST My Wake -Up Call As I was doing my Bible Study homework today (Beth Moore's "Stepping Up") I was posed with a question. It asked what the turning point in my life was... going from believing Satan's lies to genuinely asking God for help. <BR> <BR> I thought about it and the answer God gave me was disturbing. <BR> <BR> I was raised in the church. As a kid, we went to church 3 times a week. I went through years of "Bible training". I've always been a Christian. Did I live like it? Certainly not. If you've ... Mon, 5 May 2014 19:32:10 EST Why I am more deserving of forgiveness... Why I am more deserving of forgiveness than other sinners... an Essay by Erin. <BR> <BR> What?! Really?! Now *that* is some hardcore pride right there, eh? But in essence, when I refuse to forgive someone, anyone, that is exactly what I am saying! <BR> <BR> And what if God said to me "So, Erin... tell me why you deserve to be forgiven of your sins, but that person doesn't?" <BR> <BR> Well, God...I'll tell you why.... um....well... um,... <BR> <BR> Exactly! There is no answer because the... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 14:27:10 EST Wow Alright.... my "homework" from counseling is to write a forgiveness letter (with no intention of sending it, just to truly acknowledge all feelings and begin the healing/forgiveness process.) <BR> <BR> The first step is writing out all the feelings... "I'm mad because..." etc. Well, I certainly nailed that step! <BR> <BR> The next step is to write that you "forgive them for ...." Well, I got to that step...and I knew it'd be difficult...but I can't do it. I physically can't make my hand w... Fri, 25 Apr 2014 15:19:50 EST Wise Words We started a new Bible Study series last night; Beth Moore's "Stepping Up." <BR> It is a study of the Psalms of Ascents. Beth Moore is one of my favorite writers; she always has something that piques my mind. <BR> <BR> Today I came across a quote that I really could have used a year ago. <BR> <BR> "We may have relationships with some people who don't highly prioritize integrity and who fight dirty. But, somewhere along the way we've got to quit getting in the mud with them. Part of making... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 16:20:48 EST Excerpt The Bible study we are currently doing is Beth Moore's "Loving Well." It is trying to "teach" us how to love everyone, especially people who are hardest to love and those we may genuinely hate. <BR> <BR> I understand fully why God gave me this study, but that's a whole other LONG story. <BR> <BR> Anyways, in the reading, this passage stood out to me, so I figured I'd share. <BR> <BR> " God calls us to a love that knows and a heart that is smart. He calls us to love with insight. This i... Mon, 21 Apr 2014 11:29:30 EST ... the Devil at Work AGAIN! I participate in a weekly Bible Study; ongoing for about 2 1/2 years now. We meet every week, and have daily homework in between. ( I love it.... it is what made me realize that I want to go to seminary! I especially enjoy the homework. I love digging into His Word and learning new things. <BR> <BR> Well, this current study just isn't holding my interest. It is more self-reflection than learning. I don't mind self-reflection, of course, but I am just not into this study for some reason. Wel... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 13:39:42 EST What a wonderful day...Marrying my best friend! <img src=""> <BR> Our rings. He is in love with his. It spins and all the gears move. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Family :-) <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Smooches for our girl! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Gosh I love this man! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.spar... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 18:10:32 EST