EDDYMEESE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=EDDYMEESE EDDYMEESE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 103 - Shandi http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5777474 Yesterday was a big day for us...I amputated Shandi's cancer leg (well, I monitored the anesthesia and Zvika held my hand and told me to stop crying). It was a rough night for everyone - she cried a lot and I didn't get more than an hour or two of sleep. <BR> <BR> But then she suddenly stood up on her own and went potty, had some breakfast, and has been sleeping on/off all day. What a trooper and how resilient these animals are! <BR> <BR> I have fought (and won) the urge to just splurge a... Wed, 10 Sep 2014 20:40:56 EST 96 - eek. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5773007 Ooof. That was a really bad place I was in 6 days ago. My apologies. My intention is never to "up and leave". I plan on being my own success story. <BR> <BR> Anyway, here's where I'm at now: <BR> <BR> 1 - first session with personal trainer yesterday...feeling it today. We meet once a week, which leave me with 2 more days of strength training and 2-3 days of cardio that I have to make myself do. I can do that. I have an old treadmill at home, and maybe if I'm good, I'll reward myself... Thu, 4 Sep 2014 00:28:30 EST 90 - Spark Break http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5768810 I'm not giving up, I'm really not. <BR> <BR> I'm just tired of feeling like a Spark Fraud. <BR> <BR> I'll still get on here to check in with Spark Friends, because I've been here long enough to make friends that mean more to me than they know, and I'm not giving up on being their friend. <BR> <BR> If you're interested and would like to be my friend IRL, feel free to add me on Facebook - I try not to spend much time there, either, but still: <BR> <BR> I'm Eddy-Zvika Meese on Facebook. <BR>... Thu, 28 Aug 2014 14:53:53 EST 87 - feeling better http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5767038 Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous blog...I try not to dwell on the baby thing all of the time, but I go through these cycles where I just get so overwhelmed by it all. I wish I didn't want it, but I do. <BR> <BR> Anyway, it's time to move on. <BR> <BR> Thank you for the support :) Mon, 25 Aug 2014 23:34:23 EST 84 - overwhelming depression http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5765237 Some days it just happens...I wake up with an overwhelming sense of depression. I know why. Depression is a mental illness and it doesn't really have a whole lot to do with what I have or don't have in life. <BR> <BR> I'm trying hard not to let it push me down and it has been tough not to let it do so today. <BR> <BR> Of course, my biggest source of depression is the lack of children. I know we have a plan, but right now IVF is on hold and I'm back in limbo. AF is due any minute now and... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 23:35:25 EST 82 -new goals http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5763807 Well, last night I stayed with my brother and SIL and we got into a very *loud* argument about weight loss. <BR> <BR> Here is why it got loud: my brother's solution to dieting, weight loss, etc....wait for it...WILLPOWER. <BR> <BR> All. It. Takes. Is. WILLPOWER...he said. <BR> <BR> Anyway. <BR> <BR> His wife and I often commiserate about our weight. She's really gained a lot and I can see that it is really depressing her. She's reached a number I don't think she thought she could even r... Wed, 20 Aug 2014 19:58:29 EST 81 - a few days off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5762927 I have today and tomorrow off: <BR> Going to big brother's place this evening for dinner, then staying overnight and getting my hair cut tomorrow in Portland. <BR> Then, back home. <BR> Nothing special, but it is a break from the usual work and monotony. <BR> <BR> Zvika and I have been doing a lot of talking about the future and I'm excited for where life might take us. Zvika's job, although still sucking the life out of us, is at least now "worth it" from a financial point of view. Money ... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 13:24:55 EST 79 - blah Sunday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5761720 Work was terrible. So many terrible cases - like, abuse cases. It amazes me how ignorant people are. Today we saw a Pitbull who died because of FLEAS, as in, flea anemia. Every square inch was covered. He had FLY EGGS in his mouth, like perched along his gum lines. He was emaciated. Yes, animals can die from fleas. <BR> I saw a cat who had been whipped around by his tail - guess what, that breaks the tail. The skin was ripped back and there were maggots living next to his visible spin... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 22:22:20 EST 78 - Saturday off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5761103 Today I was up at around 7 am, had my tea, showered and then cleaned until about 8:30 (dusting, sweeping, laundry). Had a nice rest of the morning with Zvika and then he went to work at around noon. He's working so hard and thank goodness the money is worth it and it keeps his mind off of his dad, but we're ready for this stage in our lives to be over and enjoy the benefits of a good job. <BR> <BR> I got a bad headache around 1 pm and nursed it the rest of the day. It was pretty hot out, a... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 22:29:09 EST 77 - making progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5760624 Yikes, life has been a bit nuts. Work has been insanely busy and I get home every night and CRASH...and ever since I gave up my morning coffee, I'm sleeping in instead of getting up to Spark! <BR> <BR> So what's new - <BR> <BR> I met my personal trainer and got my measurements taken...a lot of numbers in the 40's...ugh. She's very nice and I think we'll hit it off. It will be difficult to get her on board with Paleo, I think, but she has no choice! I have no intention of following the ... Sat, 16 Aug 2014 00:39:36 EST 73 - everything in its little box http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757971 <em>67</em> <em>67</em> <em>67</em> <BR> It has been crazy hot here (well, for Oregon)...thank goodness for my air conditioner! The dogs enjoy it the most. It is on all day for them and then when we get home the house is nice and cool. The dogs probably don't have to have it, but it feels good to walk into a cool house. <BR> <BR> <em>52</em> <BR> <BR> I have been doing a fairly good job of using my 'tools' to keep my head on straight - I think it helps me to compartmentaliz... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 01:31:18 EST 72 - not much to say http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756864 Nothing bad, nothing good. <BR> <BR> All is status quo. <BR> <BR> Have a nice week! Sun, 10 Aug 2014 11:50:52 EST 68 - good few days off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754658 I've gotten the house cleaned and organized, attacking my areas per FlyLady. <BR> <BR> I've been eating Paleo, but still OVER eating. <BR> <BR> I've thought a lot about the comments I received on yesterday's blog and I think that my major problem is that I'm addicted to eating - just the act of it. I can binge on anything, whether it is mushroom ravioli or Paleo-approved foods. I thought about the idea that I'm not addicted to FOOD, but to EATING. My brother is addicted to food - he is a... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 20:49:09 EST 67 - hanging in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5754024 Beck day 11 - hunger vs. desire vs. craving <BR> <BR> HUNGER - stomach is empty, it's time to fill it. <BR> Honestly, when I've been at or anywhere near my goal weight, I experience hunger. These days, at my weight, I never feel hunger. I don't get up and feel hungry. I don't get hungry towards lunch time. I do get hungry toward dinner time, but never so hungry that I couldn't just go to sleep. The reason: I'm always eating. <BR> <BR> DESIRE - not hungry, but there is food around...and... Wed, 6 Aug 2014 00:02:41 EST Paleo Perfect! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752571 I had to share :) <BR> <BR> I got a tri-tip from Costco and threw in some organic chicken legs I also got there on sale for 1.99/lb. I added a bit of seasoning. <BR> <BR> I was tossing around what to eat as a side. I've been REALLY over-doing the mashed potatoes. So I started to make a spinach salad and instead, sauteed it and then threw in some Trader Joe's pesto! It was AMAZING. <BR> <BR> Lesson: pesto is a great way to spruce up any meal! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.spark... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 23:45:15 EST Day 65 - catch up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752240 Sorry for yet another disappearing act, as life throws us another curve ball to deal with. In any case, I'm doing fine with Paleo again after an emotional binge-fest (post curve ball) and I've been back on track again since Friday. <BR> <BR> Life in general is going on hold for a few months, so the house "sprucing" will have to go back on the back burner, but I did make one little change. I love nothing more than the "shabby-chic" look, but this look is far more shabby than chic, but it'll... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 12:23:00 EST 59/40 - Beck day 9/10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5748909 DAY 59 - BECK DAY 9 - CHOOSE AN EXERCISE PLAN <BR> <BR> <em>521</em> <BR> <BR> I didn't have time to write a blog yesterday, but I did look at Beck day 9, which was to create an exercise plan: <BR> <BR> 10 minutes minimum of organized exercise per day <em>386</em> <BR> (whether cardio, weights, crunches, jumping jacks, etc.) <BR> <BR> Not switching gyms, but going to check out a gym that has a location both down the street from my house and across the street from work - not sure p... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 11:42:29 EST 58 - Beck day 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5747460 I love this little guy he was so hilarious! After his neuter we gave him some food (kittens and puppies get low blood glucose rapidly) and we discovered that he sounds like a turkey when he eats! <BR> <BR> Not sure why the video isn't working. Here it is - posted it on YouTube <BR> <BR> <link>youtu.be/CDvi2wO2Mw8 </link> <BR> <BR> I'm feeling very much like working on organization and decluttering to help with the home situation. I'm going to follow along with FlyLady here: <BR> <BR> ... Sun, 27 Jul 2014 11:06:33 EST 57 - Beck day 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746852 Beck day 7 - arrange your environment <BR> 1 - clean out fridge - right now 99% Paleo <BR> 2 - pantry - I have a lot of quinoa and flour and stuff like that but none of it appeals to me so I'm ok with keeping that stuff around for DH <BR> 3 - rest of the house - this is the most important for me: if I have a neat and clean house, I tend to overall do better. <BR> <BR> I certainly need to work on decluttering again - I have two days off together next week so I'll do it then. <BR> <BR> Yes... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 10:01:28 EST 56 - Beck day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5746383 Nothing much new yesterday, work was fine. I was in surgery from 8 am - 1:30 pm and apparently upset one of the other doctors by busting out all of the surgeries and not leaving her with any. Oops. I just got into a groove and didn't think about it. So I bought her a little bag of Jelly Belly beans, which are shaped like little kitty and puppy ovaries...to signify every ovary I stole from her. She laughed but I felt pretty bad about it. She apparently tried to hint at me, asking if I'd ... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 12:44:43 EST 54 - Beck day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745594 Yesterday was a wonderful day. Although we were basically just running "errands", we spent the whole day together and it was wonderful! We had breakfast at a little bar before our first meeting and I had a mushroom omelette with hash-browns, no toast, and water. My quick on-the-road lunch wasn't ideal, but it wasn't bad. It was a tough situation where I was either going to eat something or sit in 2 hours of traffic and starve...those are the times I end up eating ice cream or something ter... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:17:36 EST 54 - Beck day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5744868 Today I have a helper with my blog. Bruce was clearly searching for attention so I set him up next to me on the desk. This is totally normal, people. <BR> <BR> Work was ok yesterday - I got my August schedule and was again disappointed. I keep telling Zvika that I just need to let it go, focus on working and negotiate a better schedule at my 1 year review...but I still find myself getting all worked up. I made the mistake of voicing my frustrations to my colleagues and now I'm feeling ba... Wed, 23 Jul 2014 10:34:15 EST 53 - Beck day 4 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5744111 Yesterday I woke up with a hideous headache and spent the day nursing it at work. I was on surgery all day, so it was nice to not have to talk to too many clients, although I had to have the other surgery person do the only dog spay we had. It was a slow surgery day. My eyes kept crossing and I wasn't up for major, intra-abdominal surgery (by the way, despite spays being done routinely, it is far from routine!). After all of the surgeries were done, rooms were pretty slow. It was a good ... Tue, 22 Jul 2014 10:01:34 EST 52 - Beck day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5743333 Yesterday was another successful day. Food was 100% Paleo and work was great. I did figure out that I get paid salary rather than by hour - I thought my salary was for 45 hours a week and anything I did extra would be more money...but it isn't. That's ok. Like everyone else has said and has done - at my 1 year review I'll negotiate better hours, more pay, etc. Not worried about it now. I'm working a lot and learning a lot. <BR> <BR> Mentally my head was clear most of the day and I didn... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 10:09:26 EST 51 - Beck day 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742621 I feel like I have to start this blog out by sending out thanks - thank you to everyone for sticking with me over the last few weeks and months, even when I haven't been able to reciprocate as I'd like to. I can slowly feel myself starting to stabilize again and I look forward to continuing to catch up with what you've all been up to! <BR> <BR> Shout out to the Argentina football team - Germany really earned it but boy, oh boy, did Argentina put up a fight! Great job :) <BR> <BR> Yesterda... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 10:05:04 EST 41-50 - numbers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5742189 All kinds of numbers are bothering me right now... <BR> <BR> The number of pounds I've gained back. <BR> <BR> The number of days I've been away from SP. <BR> <BR> The number of days I haven't gone to the gym. <BR> <BR> The number of hours I've spent in bed or sitting on the couch. <BR> <BR> The number of pints of Butter Pecan ice cream I've had in the last few months. <BR> <BR> The number of binges I've gone through in the last few months. <BR> <BR> The number of times I've sworn to "g... Sat, 19 Jul 2014 16:01:51 EST 30/31/1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9 - ugh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5735243 Too much time has passed. <BR> <BR> A lot of badness has happened. <BR> <BR> The dark has been difficult to see through. <BR> <BR> Just taking it one step at a time and making an effort to come back here to at least check in. <BR> <BR> Hope everyone is well. Wed, 9 Jul 2014 10:20:15 EST 29 - busy Sunday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5728644 Kitty with a terrible dog bite on her foot <em>48</em> <BR> <BR> German shepherd with a very deep laceration on her foot caused by sheet metal, severing important tendons and ligaments <em>48</em> <BR> <BR> A puppy with a broken femur <em>42</em> <BR> <BR> A dog with bloat after eating 1.5 pounds of frozen, unrisen bread dough (which was literally rising in his warm, moist stomach) <em>48</em> <BR> <BR> Great, crazy day! <BR> <BR> NSV - went to the gym before work despite tr... Sun, 29 Jun 2014 22:22:16 EST 27/28 - gym isn't so bad http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5727979 I've gone to the gym every work day for the last few days. Nothing happened - I survived each day, the apocalypse didn't arrive, a meteor didn't hit...I guess I can get up a bit early and not suffer too much, lol. <BR> <BR> I used the reclining bike today and it felt good on my butt! But I'm probably going to have to go even earlier because I think I need to give myself time to rinse off before work, otherwise I worry about getting too sweaty and I'm not pushing myself so much. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 21:42:46 EST 26 - SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PET! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726753 Work was great. Tomorrow is a day off and then back to work Saturday-Thursday (OUCH). I had some "difficult" clients today (aka FRUSTRATING). One lady came in just to check if her MALE DOG was neutered (our clinic neutered him 1 year ago so we have a surgery report) and then kept asking me if I'm sure! UGH. I finally told her: "I know a testicle when I feel one, and I don't feel one". That shut her up. She wanted me to check because he was mounting her intact female. <BR> <BR> Well, I ... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 23:48:24 EST 25/26 - the damage http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5726214 I finally got up the courage to get on the scale and measure the damage I've made in the last few months that I've been inconsistent: 4.4 pounds gained. I'm back up to 186.8. Time to make that number go down. <BR> <BR> I went to the gym yesterday and it felt great. I meant to lift weights because I'm worried about my ankle, but the Argentina-Nigeria game was on...so I watched that. I'm pretty excited about it because Argentina is my team and they are doing so great! <BR> <BR> I am now h... Thu, 26 Jun 2014 09:16:42 EST 24 - slow day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5725223 First of all, I find it really creepy and annoying that the ads on SP are all about pregnancy and adoption for me. Yes, I realize that this is not coincidence, it is because of what I'm searching for on Google. But still, it is SUPER ANNOYING. I get on SP to try to keep my feelings in check and I have to see a big pregnant belly or sales on baby clothes. Can't they just place "it'll be ok" ads for me? Ugh. <BR> <BR> Today I worked at our southern-most location in Salem, which means that... Tue, 24 Jun 2014 22:51:30 EST 21/22/23 - trying something new http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724400 So I had a bit of an epiphany at work - one of the doctors said "I wish I could look hot and still eat whatever I wanted and never work out". Now, I know we all feel that way. But I looked at her - maybe 5"5, cute athletic body, obviously toned - not a skinny minny, just healthy. I thought to myself - here is this woman who has decided that she will accept nothing less than "hotness", why do I allow myself to accept only "not hugeness"? She drives as far as I do and works as hard as I do.... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 20:28:06 EST 17/18/19/20 - nothing new http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5722483 Not much going on. Work is great but I get home exhausted every day. It'll take time to get used to it again, but I'm loving it. I've seen more and done more in 2 weeks than I did in 2 months at the previous place. Someone told me today that this clinic collects damaged veterinarians and patches them up, lol! <BR> <BR> Mom and Dad are settling in and it doesn't quite feel real yet. I'm feeling very anxious about going back too and spend much of my time trying to figure out how to get it... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 00:17:53 EST 14/15/16 - Ole Ole! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5719118 Time off from work means time to watch the World Cup and I am loving it! My choice teams are Argentina and France - I'd love to see them in the finals together! <BR> <BR> Yesterday my SIL and mom got pedicures. Mom cried. In just over 24 hours from now they'll be far, far away. I'm planning a trip to Israel in March, but the difficulty is I don't want to buy tickets while we're trying to get pregnant....although if history continues to repeat itself I might as well buy those tickets :( <... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 13:00:14 EST 13 - nothing new http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717552 Work - not happy with my July schedule. No weekends off and almost no back-to-back days off (i.e. work, off, work, off, work, work, work, work, work, off, work, work, work...etc). But, lot's of people are on vacation this month, so that's why the schedule is bad. I just need to keep reminding the powers that be about my ideal schedule and I'm told in time it will get as close to it as possible. I will remain patient. <BR> <BR> Paleo - going well, but overdoing the nuts and I am NOT plann... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 00:00:40 EST 11/12 - jeans http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5716393 Yup - I'm wearing dark-wash jeans to work. I am VERY happy. <BR> <BR> Zvika's work situation APPEARS to be improving - he was paid almost appropriately for last month (he thought he was getting 2% of profits but he only got 1%). He's in Seattle now for training and to take a test he needs to pass to be a Finance Director. He's a bit angry because it was all last-minute and they didn't get him registered and he couldn't take the class yesterday. He's still there and hopefully they'll be a... Thu, 12 Jun 2014 10:09:18 EST 9/10 - yesterday and today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5714821 Yesterday was a difficult, emotional day. I wasn't smart - had breakfast but didn't take lunch. 13 hours after breakfast, I was STARVING and obviously didn't feel like cooking and obviously nothing sounded good except for..Chinese food. It wasn't amazing, but it hit the spot. <BR> <BR> Today should be pretty normal at work. I was on surgery yesterday and it went well. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow I have a day off. I'm going to see my OB/GYN to discuss progesterone supplementation until I go to s... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 09:34:09 EST 8 - rough day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713624 We had it out pretty good yesterday and today. It is absolutely true that we take our anxieties out on the people we love most. He doesn't know how to deal with my grief and I get sick and tired of the "it'll be ok" mantra. <BR> <BR> Today my parents are completely moved out of their house and my shop is now full of their stuff. I told my mom I felt like the soundtrack from The Jeffersons should have been playing as we loaded up the new-ish sofa and the flat-screen TV. LOL. <BR> <BR> Af... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 19:05:23 EST 7 - dashed hopes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712927 Well, another pregnancy goes down the drain...that makes #4. We have an appointment on July 18th with the specialist to discuss IVF or other options. I'd especially like to know why he believes IVF would work if I've already lost 4 (and maybe more). What can you do...at least the bad part has started and should be pretty quick, then we'll be able to try again in a few weeks. <BR> Sat, 7 Jun 2014 16:27:59 EST 6 - day off http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5712041 I have Fri/Sat/Sun off - I haven't had a proper weekend from work in 2 years and certainly no weekend to speak of during my 4 years of vet school. <BR> <BR> Plan: <BR> <BR> Friday - rest my darn ankle. It had been feeling good for a week and last night, POP, out out went while standing in the kitchen and now it is swollen and stiff. UGH. Once my COBRA kicks in from work, I have to go to the doctor. I'll spend the day cleaning and probably reading. So many people at work are reading Ro... Fri, 6 Jun 2014 11:16:18 EST 5 - better day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5711209 I had a paleo breakfast yesterday and felt much, much better yesterday. Breakfast it is, I guess! <BR> <BR> Work is going great - I feel like I have PTSD from my previous job, lol! I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but people seem truly relaxed. A couple people sit and read a book while waiting for appointments, the old crotchety male vet reads TMZ all day long (lol) and half the time there is a half-naked woman on the screen, others cruise FB on occasion, etc. Not that people ar... Thu, 5 Jun 2014 10:23:57 EST 4 - surgery day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5710416 I had to pop Ibuprofen all day long. Holy COW. I feel like I've been on vacation for 2 years and I'm just now starting to work. I did more surgeries in one day than I would have done in 1-2 weeks at the old place. During the craziness - laughing, joking, people having fun, light-hearted banter, people helping people, people playing with kittens, smiles and hard work. <BR> <BR> Love it. <BR> <BR> But yesterday kicked my butt. I did not eat breakfast (as usual), thinking I'd eat my HB ... Wed, 4 Jun 2014 10:09:36 EST 3 - first day of work (yesterday) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709608 So fun fact: I'm always early, never late. So I got to work far too early and started my first day with an emergency seizing dog at 7:40, I euthanized him by 8 am. UGH, what a start. <BR> <BR> Everything went great - the docs are very nice and we do doctor work (I no longer have to put in my own charged, fill meds, etc.). The staff is clearly spread thinly and overworked - isn't that true of all medical fields, though? Not that I'm complaining as a doctor, but we couldn't do our jobs if ... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 09:59:19 EST 2 - tired! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709402 Good night! Tue, 3 Jun 2014 00:18:54 EST Back at it - Day 1 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708305 I'm calling this blog "Back at it - Day 1" because I feel the need to work on a streak. I'd like to get to Dec. 31 without breaking down - I need to log in daily to blog, log my food and stay on plan. There are 214 days until Jan 1, 2015, so that is my goal. <BR> <BR> It has been a looooong week. I've spent the entire week with my parents, which is why I went MIA. They are leaving on the 17th and I wanted to devote 100% of the week to them. We didn't do much. I'm pretty sure I gained 2... Sun, 1 Jun 2014 19:10:50 EST Where I am now... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5701123 Monday was my last day at work and I left in a bit of a "huff" <BR> <BR> I had a lot of time to ruminate over the last few days and I came to the following realization: they never quite appreciated me for the compassionate, caring and hard working person that I am. Given as that is the case, it was and never would have been, a good fit for me. I am capable of more than being barely adequate (which is how I think they saw me). Really and truly realizing and accepting this is helping me to ... Thu, 22 May 2014 23:26:14 EST Last day at work and everything in front of me! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698833 Today was my LAST day at work and I was, yet again, so ready to go. Everyone asked me if I'm excited, nervous, etc...but as somebody who was moved about frequently, I don't mind saying goodbye and I honestly felt nothing. Some are true friends, so I see no reason to miss them as I plan on seeing them again. Others I was lukewarm about and they about me...the rest I completely hated and am sure they hated me so I don't care about them one bit. <BR> <BR> At the end of the day I was accused ... Mon, 19 May 2014 23:46:59 EST Devoted http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5695235 That's my goal. I am devoted to ME, MYSELF and I. <BR> <BR> How? <BR> <BR> 1) Minimum 10 minutes of exercise per day <BR> <BR> 2) 100% Paleo, no exceptions <BR> <BR> 3) Log all food, no exceptions <BR> <BR> Why? <BR> <BR> 1) Because I'm worth it <BR> <BR> 2) Because I'm worth it <BR> <BR> 3) Because I'm worth it <BR> <BR> So recap today: <BR> <BR> 1) Exercise 10 min - cleaned house vigorously while dancing <em>248</em> <BR> <BR> 2) 100% Paleo - <em>248</em> <BR> <BR> 3) Log ... Wed, 14 May 2014 21:49:25 EST Goal Board http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694167 Ok, let's see. It is May 13. I am almost done with old job (last day is May 19), starting new job on June 1. I have been absolutely terrible about everything lately. I'm feeling emotions making me overwhelmed again - the unknowns. I know I have a tendency to obsess about the future and everything that is completely out of my control. I need to refocus my energies on the things that I absolutely can control: my health and weight. I've been writing a lot of "I need to be better" blogs, b... Tue, 13 May 2014 12:36:11 EST