EBPOOKIE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=EBPOOKIE EBPOOKIE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Food Blog 7/8/2015 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5957588 I have been gone for a while and figure this is how i will do my food journal. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/6e5a7d55-fd77-42ec-b987-c31a0f77287b.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Lunch: <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/1ab8aebe-a35e-43e3-a49c-eda846b9e761.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Snacks: <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/4fa749e7-4c25-428b-9f0f-b6d7bc5f7b00.jpg"> <BR> <BR> will add as my day progresses! <BR> <BR> Training for ... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 14:54:10 EST The Reflection in the Mirror Now & Then-Reminder to self! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5870936 Today I reminded myself of this poem I wrote a few years ago. I felt it was worth bringing back!!! <BR> <BR> Added a few changes! <BR> <BR> The Reflection in the Mirror Now & Then <BR> By: Emmy Barnett 04/03/2013 <BR> <BR> Looking at my reflection in the mirror was something I didn’t like to do <BR> Because I did not like what was staring back at me. <BR> I saw ugly <BR> I saw a loser <BR> I saw weakness <BR> I saw shame <BR> I saw fear <BR> I saw pain <BR> I saw a fatty <BR> I saw... Fri, 6 Feb 2015 21:47:53 EST Determined http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5852121 This week was very challenging but I continue to learn. I managed to squeeze a loss not much but today I promised my self to go out and not hold back on my run. I had my watch set to intervals 1 mile run 2 mile walk. I found myself running sooner so at the end of my run this is what i accomplished: <BR> 1. I broke my fastest 10K time of 1:46:21which I did on thanksgiving 2013 after a year of dealing with asthma and injuries and doubting myself.. here it is New time: 1:45:43. <BR> 2. Felt m... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 20:20:46 EST My Journey is on target – lost 8 # in 4 weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5847788 Well on November 18, I took the leap of faith and asked my best friend to coach me to better health. We set up a team and structured that I would not weigh myself but once a week with him and that I would only know my numbers every 4 weeks. <BR> <BR> I started my journey on November 23, 2014 and found out 4 weeks later on December 21, 2014 my numbers at that time I was devastated because while I had lost 8# total I had also had a gain that week due to a stressful event that kept me from e... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:00:30 EST I took the leap a faith & I feel great!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5824512 Last week I made the decision to take my health back and have put together a very special team. I have never asked for help but I know I need it and I have been afraid but took a leap of faith with those I love and love me and also know that for health reason I need to lose this weight once and for all. I had a test done today that really opened my eyes and know this is the right thing to do. No room for excuses just hard work. <BR> <BR> I realized during my race the Rock n Roll Half Marath... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 02:23:06 EST Best Dam Run 10K TIME: 1:54:39 PACE: 18:10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5789252 Garmin Time: 1:54:39 Pace: 18:10 Best Dam Run 10K <BR> <BR> I am so friggin’ happy this is my best time since my asthma kicked my tail in January. My worst time in this 10 7 race series was – Lazy Bend Run - Time: 2:05 Pace: 20:11 back at the end of May. <BR> <BR> I have improved my 10K time by 11 minutes from May to now. I know that it is possible to get my time needed now for Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon & 1/2 Marathon in mid November. It will only get better because I believe it! ... Mon, 29 Sep 2014 18:13:10 EST Training Runs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5775325 Just completed 5 miler today and a total of 21 miles for the week. It felt really good today. <BR> <BR> I got this beautiful picture of the sunrise this morning <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/2/l52734050.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Feeling pretty accomplished. 10 weeks to go before the half!! <BR> <BR> Next few races: 9/27/2014 10K & 10/11/2014 5K <BR> <BR> Next week we up it to 23 miles. <BR> <BR> Training schedule: <BR> <BR> Monday: Rest Day <BR> Tuesday: 4 mil... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 18:37:46 EST 10k completed today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5771582 I really didn't want to go to this optional 10k been feeling down wasn't into it but my two closes buds reminded me of my responsibility so I picked them up and off we went. Got there and my trainer runner buddy Brian said I don't want to sit and wait for 2 hrs. I am walking with you and Krista said I'm running my time which by the way she was awesome she did her best time. I wasn't thrilled about having company as i usually woggle = run + walk by myself. Can i say he pushed me in such a... Tue, 2 Sep 2014 03:06:06 EST Fall dust yourself off and get back up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5748969 Failure is not the fact that you had a binge, fell off the wagon, didn’t work out, and ate the wrong things. Failure is beating yourself silly in your own mind with mean words and lack of compassion for yourself. <BR> Saying things like: I suck, I am worthless because I ate this bad stuff or I binged is bad. No matter where you are coming from it really is something you will believe and set yourself up for continuous failure. I know that when I have a bad day I have to tell myself to forge... Tue, 29 Jul 2014 13:14:49 EST Strong is here to stay - Let go of the last of my old skeletons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5739056 The past few months I have let go of so much, I remembered so much from my past, it was hard it hurt and i was reunited with my brother after 37 years but i had one last piece to the puzzle to complete letting go the things that made me feel unworthy, ashamed, so much anxiety, humiliation,pain and anguish. That night I had remembered was filled with awful not thiings i wanted to talk about. I realized that I have not been as compassionate by myself. I was listening to someone's story and i... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 02:45:52 EST Feeling low http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717709 Haven't be en in the best of spirits, my mind and body have given me a lot to handle this year my journey has been tough and quite honestly I feel beaten down. My immune system is extremely low, I keep getting sinus infection which aggravate my asthma right now. My foot has bothered me alot my running has been sporadic and I miss it. I have been told pool only for a few weeks. I start tomorrow. I am at a point we're I really want to hide and not be around others. Some Friendships ar... Sat, 14 Jun 2014 09:11:08 EST Digging Deep and Finding my Strong through a set back http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5676487 These 4 months have been tough. <BR> <BR> I started the year with remembering some repressed memories that were painful but had an awesome outcome as i got reunited with my little brother. <BR> <BR> Had ups and downs through this time my weight has fluctuated up and down right now up. The time it took for the repressed memory took a tool on my body. I was running on adrenaline alot of times as i sorted flashbacks and nightmare. It caused lack of sleep - when i was up i would run (wogg... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 17:12:41 EST I'm back - it's been a while! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5669485 Well back to the starting block.. <BR> <BR> I have been going through alot physically and mentally. Sorry I have not stayed on top of my blogging. <BR> <BR> Last race was on March 3, 2014 it was slow but i finished. <BR> <BR> Got an upper respirtory infection at the begining of the year and never went away; and then dealt with memories that resurfaced that really kicked my butt. <BR> <BR> I have managed to overcome both illness and slowly recovering from the memories and am healing.... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 01:24:36 EST Over 100 miles logged in January http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5610968 I have found out alot about myself, my strength and my perserverence to keep going even when things have gotten tough. Repressed memories have been surfacing the past week and half. it is scary as my counselor & family are working together to help me. I have found solace on rough days through my run/walk. I am pretty proud. I also found out who my true friends are; who i can count on in a pinch when things got rough this week. My husband has been very supportive with drawing baths and j... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 09:27:14 EST Holiday Half - Personal Record Achieved (pix added) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5566136 <em>366</em> Time: 4:02:06 Pace 18:11 <em>366</em> <BR> <BR> I woke up at 4:30 am feeling strong and that I had this Holiday Half I got this feeling inside that was strong. A few weeks I blogged on how not prepared I was for this and not knowing if I even wanted to but my best friend reminded me he had signed up because I did (guilt card all the way) He told me he believed in me and that I had to do the same and just get back into training. I had less then two weeks to start the first... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 00:30:39 EST It's been a while - Races & life catch up! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5560182 Halloweenathon - Run for you Bones- 10K <BR> TIME: 1:49:48 PACE: 17:39 Personal Record (PR) <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1279893800.jpg"> <BR> The group ME, Krista, Brian & Sue <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1589208601.jpg"> <BR> The girls-ME, Krista & Sue <BR> <BR> That was a tough race my feet feel asleep from the get go it was cold and the path was a golf cart path rolling hills on concrete which suck on my feet but overal... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 01:21:21 EST Blue Lake 5k Another Personal Record http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5511988 Personal Record: <BR> <BR> Time: 51:06 Pace: 16:32 (still waiting for official - this is from my Garmin) <BR> Official Time: 50:56 Pace 16:26 Woohoo! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2082254722.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l2049992196.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1927225609.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Great accomplishment!! I feel real proud for all my hard work I am really starting to see how... Sun, 13 Oct 2013 00:47:43 EST It’s not rocket science – eat right, move & love yourself = weight loss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5509122 I have tried everything in the past 20 years, starving myself, Jenny Craig, LA Weight loss, Nutrisystems, Weight Watchers & whatever other whim would come that came with that magic pill. I have many videos/dvds : Richard Simmons, Biggest Loser & walking off the pounds… Yes I would do them then fall back into this vicious cycle of over eating none of these things covered my binge eating disorder. In 2010 I had enough I started losing the weight that I had taken on again up to 314.5 pounds... Wed, 9 Oct 2013 16:14:40 EST Six Miles Run/Walk in my backyard http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5506551 Well i have been sick and today was the first day back to my routine after taking a few days off to recoup i really listened to my body!! <BR> <BR> Decided to get back and do my long today since this weeks training will emphasize prep for my 5k!! <BR> <BR> Here is my views in my very own back yard i saw as i ran/walk today it was a gorgoeous day in the Portland Metro Area 70's and sunny! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/4/l241082713.jpg"> <BR> half a mile from my ... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 01:57:32 EST Training goals for Half in December http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5499782 Holiday Half will be on December 15, 2013 Need to get done in 3.5 hrs. right now my half time was at 4:04 how do you shave that you add a run to it. How do you do that when you can't even run a full 5k yet? Hmmm... Well my best friend, mentor and personal trainer says i can do it.. <BR> <BR> So i have to log 21-24 miles a week then bump it up to 30 by December of walk jogging my goal is to do be able to run 1/4 to 1/3 of mile striaght and walk 3/4 to 2/3 miles in hopes to get myself 16... Sun, 29 Sep 2013 23:30:49 EST Rogue Run Half Marathon Personal Record http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5493177 No Pain & PR Time: 4:04:34 Average Pace: 18:41 <BR> Last Years Time: 4:20 Average Pace: 19:55 <BR> <BR> I maintained at 17+ mile pace the first 8 miles then it went to 18-19(low end) so shaved a full 15.5 mins off last year time i may have come in last but i got my PR i was very surprised. No pain some calf flutters but nothing major til i tried to jog in i cramped up but pushed through it. Mentally & Physically a Great Finish can't wait for the pictures at the finish line. <BR> <BR> Her... Sun, 22 Sep 2013 21:19:03 EST Fear & Pain 09-20-2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5491639 I have been doing a lot of reflecting regarding the subject of fear and pain. <BR> <BR> I have my half marathon approaching quickly, 2 weeks ago i did my 12 mile practice and had what i call a breakdown because i really felt as if i should have been able to do this without any pain and was feeling pretty down and defeated as my calves cramped out at mile 11 by 11 and 1/4 i was in tears and wondered how will i do this in two weeks. <BR> <BR> In the past few days I am have come across fear ... Sat, 21 Sep 2013 03:09:48 EST Lemons or Lemonade? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5477835 Lemons or Lemonade? <BR> <BR> When life hands you lemons you make lemonade right? We have all heard this before. <BR> <BR> So a few months ago I went in for my physical after a few years of not being happy with my old dr. found a new one and we started all of the normal process of looking to see where I was. Well my blood sugar test A1C where done in June a few months later after complaining of a few things that I felt were symptoms of my diabetes rearing its head again. 3 years ago jus... Fri, 6 Sep 2013 13:21:01 EST Relay for Life 2013 E. PDX http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5452298 Had a great time with friends and walked 10.5 miles straight good half training 42 today's before the half! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1794008592.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1263457065.jpg"> <BR> Catching up with two great old friends <BR> <BR> Did get tired, was breaking in a new pair of orthotics and 4 week old shoes hard on the feet. Sun, 11 Aug 2013 23:42:23 EST Ralph Painter Memorial Run 5K 7-27-13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5436325 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1872472076.jpg"> <BR> <BR> It is the collage i did to put on my bib and time on into a frame I have shadow boxes for my races as well as frames. <BR> <BR> This was a tough race i'd say about 3K of it was all up 3 rolling hills I didn't know that the best part was i was able to woggle about 2k of it considering recouping from my groin injury that lasted longer then i wanted. My physical therapist told me to not attempt to jog the hills ... Sun, 28 Jul 2013 14:58:36 EST Personal Best Woggle 5k - Practice Run http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5432617 Just walk/jogged = woggled my 5k (loop) in preperation for my 5k race on Saturday i PR my time was 52;37 this race i'll be doing has a 278 elevation gain my hill hear was 258 so felt my lungs were burning (sinus infection) thought i was going to die just as i was cresting the hill and reaching my first mile (my boss and my best friend - say SUCK IT UP & WALK IT OFF) I just repeated those words and man felt good when i hit the top was extremly proud took me 20 mins and my goal was to stay at 5... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 01:56:46 EST Changes -- closures and new beginings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5430117 Last week my 14 week workshop came to a close. I really took a lot out of this group classes and learned alot more about myself. I am learning to trust myself more to take risks and not doubt but wonder to not be as afraid to hinder myself from greatness!! <BR> <BR> Last week or so the Pantry got cleaned out and it felt good! I went out and brought foods that are healthy and clean not much processed food in my house. <BR> <BR> This week I brought mason jars to learn how to make and ... Tue, 23 Jul 2013 01:19:20 EST Cleaned out Pantry & Fridge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5420349 Started cleaning out the Pantry & Fridge i thought my husband was going to have a hard attack he now has his own place to keep his crappy sugary foods where i don't see them... he is also not allowed to eat in bed! HEALTHY FOOD ZONES!!!! <BR> <BR> Walked today and went shopping got new woggling shoes (woggling=walk/jog) & sandles i feel good!!! <BR> <BR> Went to Costco and brought alot of healthy fruits, veggies, lean meats, & condiments to have a successful week. <em>104</em> <BR> ... Sun, 14 Jul 2013 00:59:29 EST Physical Therapy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5416240 Reinjured my groin strain. I started physical therpay two weeks ago and am having to wait to woggle. Doing my exercises for physical therapy and feeling better but we will see tomorrow is my second session. Hoping to soon get cleared for woggling. One of my PT will be in the pool to make sure i don't get reinjured again. It's been challenging but I am doing my best right now. My eating has been all over the place and i'm sure it will get better but for now i am just doing the best i can... Wed, 10 Jul 2013 02:27:47 EST Enough Punishment More Self Love & Compassion! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5394176 Well today I went to group and i opened up abit during the exercising and really let myself out and if i want change i must be will to change the things that have not worked in the past. Punishing myself because I think I'm not good enough or didn't do enough is a waste of time. It won't happen overnight but slowly I will let go. Two things that help me are writing and soulful movement!! <BR> <BR> Today at group we talked about body image!! I remember when the pictures for the biggest lo... Wed, 19 Jun 2013 01:07:17 EST Sunday was soso & Today was a total bust! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5392775 Well today was enough of the punishment I put on myself by allowing my emotions to get the best of me and eating them. Yesterday i had better gripe on it. <BR> <BR> So today is my 7th year anniversary with my wonderful husband. He is my soulmate and the one person I can trust with my past. No judgement; just love and understanding and compassion. We went out on date tonight and that was fun. He mustard up enough strength. <BR> <BR> Group tomorrow and not really wanting to go but i ... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:50:41 EST Today it was more than enough! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390445 Today I did my best come in within my calorie range and busted chops in my exercising woggled (walk/jogged) 4 miles Mentally feeling much better!! <BR> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1923653898.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/1/l813510590.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <BR> Sun, 16 Jun 2013 00:14:41 EST Vulnerability - Brene Brown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5389277 ¡°Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy¡ªthe experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.¡± <BR> ¨D Bren¨¦ Brown <BR> <BR> ¡°The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It's our fear of the dark that casts our joy... Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:43:18 EST I am enough! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5387519 I am enough <BR> I am brave <BR> I am courageous <BR> I am beautiful <BR> I am worthy <BR> I am loved <BR> I am intelligent <BR> I am alive <BR> I am safe <BR> I am free <BR> <BR> I have had a break in my step basically had a pretty big set back this weekend; pretty bad flashbacks set by something as silly as a bottleneck beer bottle. Took me back to very painful memories that my father did to my siblings and myself and blamed me. Alot of negative thoughts and things came out of my mout... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 23:51:01 EST 30 day Crunch Challenge done http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5375247 Tracked Food <em>248</em> <BR> Walk/Jogged=Woggled - 0 <em>39</em> <BR> Freggies 5+ <em>248</em> <BR> Points <em>248</em> <BR> Water <em>248</em> <BR> Journaled/Compassionate mediatation time <em>248</em> <BR> Music-upbeat listened! <em>248</em> <BR> Portions <em>248</em> <BR> crunch challenge <em>248</em> 30 crunches day 1 <BR> <BR> working towards my exercise goal 1800 mins for month & Woggle 8 miles per week also have June - 30 day crunch challenge with my best ... Sun, 2 Jun 2013 03:28:11 EST So-So Day!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5374200 Tracked Food <em>248</em> <BR> Walk/Jogged=Woggled - 1 miles 19 mins <em>248</em> <BR> Freggies 5+ <em>248</em> <BR> Points <em>248</em> <BR> Water <em>248</em> <BR> Journaled/Compassionate mediatation time <em>248</em> <BR> Music-upbeat listened! <em>248</em> <BR> Portions <em>15</em> <BR> working towards my exercise goal 1800 mins for month & Woggle 8 miles per week also have June - 30 day crunch challenge with my best friends can't wait to start. <BR> <BR> <em... Sat, 1 Jun 2013 00:44:02 EST Great day! Feel Good! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5373139 Tracked Food <em>248</em> <BR> Walk/Jogged=Woggled - 2 miles 38 mins <em>248</em> <BR> Freggies 5+ <em>248</em> <BR> Points <em>248</em> <BR> Water <em>248</em> <BR> Journaled/Compassionate mediatation time <em>248</em> <BR> Music-upbeat listened! <em>248</em> <BR> Portions <em>248</em> <BR> working towards my exercise goal 1800 mins for month & Woggle 8 miles per week also have June - 30 day crunch challenge with my best friend can't wait to start. <BR> <BR> I kno... Fri, 31 May 2013 00:07:47 EST Consistency http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5372082 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1823973646.jpg"> <BR> One i must practice again i know it is in me to do it. I cannot let a simple injury keep me from what i know i must do!! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/6/l763777856.jpg"> <BR> I must push myself to do the things i know even when i don't want to that is when i really need tell myself to do it!! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/3/l538509003.jpg"> <BR> I will have compassion wit... Thu, 30 May 2013 00:22:37 EST Matters of the heart! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365185 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/8/l784039615.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My good friends we met Jared @ the Portland Heart Assn. Walk on Saturday May 18, 2013. <BR> <BR> Strained my right groin and well walking and swimming is all i can do for exercise nothing strenous. <BR> <BR> My 14 week workshop is now at week 6 it is really hard stuff i'm working on but while it is hard work i know it is helping my eating disorder alot. <BR> <BR> I have had my down times and have realized who... Thu, 23 May 2013 00:15:27 EST Biggest Loser Walk Run Race Series Springfield OR 4-14-2013 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5329207 Jesse Wornum-who talked it was about choices and he may have gained some of his weigh back but is on the road to take it off!! <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/1/l115879903.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The girls and I at the Biggest Loseer Walk Run Race Series workshops: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1248764201.jpg"> <BR> <BR> T.C. POOL Season 14 <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/8/l489219661.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The Girls & I with Jackie &... Fri, 19 Apr 2013 23:29:57 EST The Reflection in the Mirror Now & Then http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5310354 The Reflection in the Mirror Now & Then <BR> <BR> Looking at my reflection in the mirror was something I didn’t like to do <BR> Because I did not like what was staring back at me. <BR> I saw ugly <BR> I saw a loser <BR> I saw weakness <BR> I saw shame <BR> I saw fear <BR> I saw pain <BR> I saw a fatty <BR> I saw hate <BR> I saw darkness <BR> I saw unworthy <BR> I saw sadness <BR> <BR> Something happened <BR> I saw a distant light <BR> It gave me courage to change what I saw in the broke... Wed, 3 Apr 2013 15:42:45 EST Discovering myself oh what a process and it will never end I’m sure! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5294143 So 19 and half months ago on July 1, 2011 I went to my first therapy session for my binge eating disorder I opened the closet that held my dark secrets from my childhood that I knew had led me to my disorder and my unhealthy eating plan being obese and wanting so badly to get to my goal but stalling after 40# lost I really struggled I knew I had to do this. So I opened that closet door and man did the skeletons come out. I wanted change I knew I needed to heal my wounds from at that point 3... Wed, 20 Mar 2013 19:53:27 EST 92 days Binge free http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5275267 Things have fallen into place i am starting to listen more and more to my body. I eat when i'm hungry.... i am filling my plates with more veggies to give the appearance of a full plate which is big for my deprivation feeling it helps plus i fill up easier. <BR> <BR> Today i went to my new doctor i really liked her. She was happy i am going to TOPS, BED therapy, and exercising regularly. She is running test and hoping to pinpoint the problem, my blood pressure was up so she added low so... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 01:03:10 EST I'm still challenging myself daily! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5265052 I am still meeting my goals and have stepped up the exercise as i train for the 5k. I am finding it to be a blast and challenging myself to things i didn't think i could do before. <BR> <BR> Right now crab crawl did half the hallway my plan is to conquer the whole hallway. em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I had another sinus infection last week and am on the mend still battling the water retention but there is light at the end of the tunnel new doctor next wee on 3/7. <em>282</em> Hoping t... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 17:43:17 EST Day 67 - 74 Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5250459 Day 67 – 74 Weekly update <BR> <BR> Thursday, Feb 7, 2013 <BR> Water 10 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - <em>248</em> Water Aerobics <em>104</em> <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> Bed time now <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Had a good day overall enjoyed the water aerobics tonight!! Next Thursday river challenge you walk against the water current... Thu, 14 Feb 2013 13:42:48 EST Day 64 - 66 Daily Challenge :) :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5241018 Monday, February 4, 2013 <BR> Water 10 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - <em>248</em> <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> Bed time 9pm <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Another good day doing well with my portions & exercise routine feeling good!! Work is stressful but handling it with stride what i cannot control i must let go! <BR> <BR> Tuesday, Feb... Thu, 7 Feb 2013 01:06:02 EST Day 61 - 63 Daily Challenge - 62 Days Binge Free!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5235946 Friday, February 1, 2013 <BR> Water 8 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - <em>248</em> OH YEAH!! Stairs <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> Bed time 9pm <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking made it to 60 days Woohoo!! <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I am very proud of myself for making me important and making it to 60 days of not binging. Last year 397 and then i struggled but i have l... Sun, 3 Feb 2013 16:32:07 EST Day 60 Daily Challenge - Got past a major fear-exercisewise! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5232536 Jan. 31, 2013 <BR> <BR> Water 8 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - <em>248</em> OH YEAH!! <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking 59 days today tomorrow is big for me!! <BR> <BR> I have to share my story i have treadmill phobia i actually got on it and walked/jogged on it today. 30 mins and average pace of 18:05 I am so excited and happy i got pas... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 01:09:47 EST Day 59 Daily Challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231067 Jan. 30, 2013 <BR> <BR> Water 8 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - <em>248</em> walk/jog 35 mins 3.5 walking/ 70 secs jogging :) <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking <BR> <BR> Had another awesome day just pushing hard on it and working with myself to keep this moving along... not a diet just a lifestyle no counting no weighing just smaller plat... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:31:31 EST Day 58 Daily Challenge :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5229642 Jan. 29, 2013 <BR> <BR> Water 8 cups <em>248</em> <BR> Meal Plan <em>248</em> <BR> Journaling <em>248</em> <BR> Me time <em>248</em> <BR> Exercise - Planned Day Off! TOPS Meeting <BR> Sleep - <em>248</em> <em>102</em> <BR> No Binging <em>248</em> still streaking <BR> <BR> Had a great day really am balancing my non diet menatlity very well i have actually had two straight weeks of losses. I am just not counting calories, just cutting portions and exercising a bit more than ... Wed, 30 Jan 2013 02:11:29 EST