EBEAMS's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=EBEAMS EBEAMS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ I can ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5810215 I tell myself that a lot ... "I can ... ". Sometimes it helps me get with the program and sometimes I'm saying one thing while my brain is totally calling me a liar. Quitting isn't easy, starting isn't easy ... good thing Mama always said "Life isn't fair or easy". She was pretty smart. <BR> <BR> So .. Day 1 again ... kind of like people who claim to be 25 years old for 25 more years. I guess it all equals out in the end! <em>211</em> Mon, 3 Nov 2014 19:12:56 EST Grief is sneaky http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806293 Usually Sunday is my tough day to get through but this morning I was laying in bed, waiting for gal I'm sharing the hotel room with to wake up, and my mom floated into my mind. Instead of the really harsh, sickening memories of her passing that I've been grappling with, this morning it was the soft, sweet memories of small snatches of conversations, kisses on the forehead, long talks and smiles that have to last the rest of my life. <BR> <BR> Another stage of grief, I suppose. This one s... Tue, 28 Oct 2014 11:27:52 EST Had fun today! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5806056 Started this morning out with a walk in the very chilly dark. Good walk ... Had a good day of training even though not all of it makes sense yet. Even at that, at least I understood some of it when it came to the areas that I'm most familiar with. Then, after we were out for the day, my co-worker and I drove about 10 miles to Deception Pass to take some pictures and enjoy the beautiful area! We got in a second hike down to the water and watched a seal playing just off the shore. I think ... Mon, 27 Oct 2014 23:57:16 EST More training http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804928 Long drive ahead for today. I'm heading to the Whidbey Island area of Washington. Got my day started with a great healthy breakfast, have healthy snacks and water for the ride AND planning to have a simple chicken salad while on the road. One day at a time ... one decision at a time! <BR> <BR> Keep me in your prayers for traveling mercies and for the Sunday blues to be short and on the sweet side today! Sun, 26 Oct 2014 08:57:41 EST Howdy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5804759 It's been a long, long journey but I think I'm starting to level out again. I think the past 2 years have broken just about every single belief I had about myself but not my faith in God. I think the path to being put back together has been hard. It's been humbling, it's been exhausting, it's been sad ... Through it all, I've clung to the truth that God loves me and promises He won't give me more than I can handle. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks since my mom got promoted to Glory, 15 weeks sin... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 22:41:33 EST Sundays ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5800948 I am still in the stage where I measure my losses by weeks ... and Sunday is the day Allen and Mom passed away ... Sundays are hard for me. <em>51</em> <BR> <BR> <BR> Sun, 19 Oct 2014 15:23:48 EST Last week in Salt Lake City http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793863 I had a great time learning last week in Salt Lake. The conference was 4 days of work related classes and fun. I was delighted to get my records administration certification after having to take the test twice. I'm such an over achiever that I beat myself up LOTS between when I didn't pass the first time (I FAILED!) and when I took the test the second time. Humbling but good for me. <BR> <BR> Our keynote speaker was Jeff Skiles who was the co-pilot for the plane that crash landed in the ... Tue, 7 Oct 2014 07:16:51 EST What a day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787617 LOL ... thankfully my good mood continued into today even through my sleep last night wasn't as great. It was still okay. I feel like I got good, deep sleep until my darlin' got up during the night ... Yawn. <BR> <BR> Today was one of those days where all day long you are just kind of going from train wreck to train wreck with a smile plastered on while you tell yourself "This, too, shall pass". The capper was my sister-in-law calling to tell me that they are not going to be able to get... Fri, 26 Sep 2014 22:41:12 EST Mental changes http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5787033 It's very interesting to me that just starting back running I already feel better. I feel like my posture is better, my core tighter and my attitude is brighter! It helps that I got 7 hours of straight sleep last night which is more than I've gotten in a long, long time. Amazing how much sleep helps. I've never been a good sleeper but wow, what a difference a good night's sleep can make. <BR> <BR> Today I had a great day at work. Honest! I walked a few blocks to a lunch date, went up a... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 22:00:28 EST Day 3 of getting back to running http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5785741 So ... it's not as hard to get back to as I thought it would be but ... it's not what it used to be either. Interval running right now, every other day, at a pretty slow pace is keeping my knees happy. Nothing hurts overly much after any of my runs. I'm thankful. <BR> <BR> Tue, 23 Sep 2014 21:25:39 EST Slowly ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5784198 I'm working on finding a balance to everything on my plate right now. I find it humorous in an objective way that having more free time is causing me more problems right now than when I had too much to do and not enough time. The difference (in my opinion) is the amount of emotional and mental stress that has been lifted away. Processing through the grief, especially when I am in two different points in grieving, is hard enough. Add all of the other STUFF and I'm kind of mentally shorting... Sun, 21 Sep 2014 17:37:59 EST Friday, Friday, Friday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5783071 Happy Friday, my friends ... Hope you have a fabulous weekend planned! Fri, 19 Sep 2014 16:06:42 EST More training ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5781419 Today promises to be a long day with a different class today followed by a meeting. The meeting is my first one with the whole crew of ladies that I supervise. The intent when I planned it was to give them a little insight to who I am and how I operate. I intended to whip up a PowerPoint, use some hand-outs and a little humor and win them over with short term and long term goals for our division. Now, I just want to spend a few minutes laying out my work history for them, my expectations ... Wed, 17 Sep 2014 07:04:19 EST Reality can't wait http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780779 I got about 3 (maybe) hours of sleep last night. Today I'm headed back to my real life ... sort of. I'm going to some training that finding was the equivelent of finding the golden ticket in Charley and the Chocolate Factory. I don't want to go. I feel like I'm taking deep, gulping lungs full of air and still can't breathe. <BR> <BR> My preference would be to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. My reality is that I'll meet my walking buddy for a nice, brisk, wet walk... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 07:06:27 EST Reviewing my goal board http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5780155 I pared down the things that flash through on my goal board to the following few: <BR> <BR> 1. Be grateful - I work hard at living in a state of being grateful for every thing that I have. My husband and I have been diligently working on the gift of giving with no expectation of receiving. We seek out ways to bless others because it blesses us. But I can do better at being grateful for things like my trials that help me build character and faith. <BR> <BR> 2. Love fully - It's true ... Mon, 15 Sep 2014 08:58:10 EST Thank you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5779523 To each of you that sent thoughts, prayers and encouragement. I appreciate it. <BR> <BR> Here's a picture at the commital service at the Idaho State Veteran's Cemetery: <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/6/l160270940.jpg"> <BR> <BR> It's been a week and it feels like it's been a lifetime. In trying to sort through everything, I try to keep in mind that it isn't just the past year that has been the hard part ... it's been 3 years of giving a little more and a little mo... Sun, 14 Sep 2014 08:00:33 EST Long day, many decisions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5778262 Today was the day ... My mom would appreciate the irony of her services being on Sept 11th. She loved her country, cherished her short time in the service and appreciated the depth of sacrifice some people have given. <BR> <BR> It was a very hard day. The military ceremony was so poignant and sad. I will treasure my mom's flag. It may just be my most prized possession now. <BR> <BR> Things are buttoning up, family is all set to leave in the morning and my house is so quiet that it see... Thu, 11 Sep 2014 23:43:33 EST Change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5776294 Isn't it funny that the only thing in Life that is constant is CHANGE and yet change is one of the things we struggle with on a daily basis??? We work the cycle of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results - and fear change, hate change, want change, avoid change - all the while wishing things would be different but stay the same? It's confusing! <BR> <BR> Lots is changing for us again. That clash of good and bad that seems to happen in my Life on a re... Tue, 9 Sep 2014 05:35:36 EST Pinning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5761599 Sitting here pinning and pinning recipes and thinking about how excited I am that Fall is just around the corner. I've been promising myself for a couple of years that I would work on learning how to make a good soup ... I know - seems like a no brainer but our house didn't really do soup when I was growing up! - and learning how to make yeast bread. I've always wanted to but am a little intimidated by the thought of it. It always looked so complicated when my mom did it. Tasted GREAT but... Sun, 17 Aug 2014 19:03:54 EST Weekend off with hubby http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5757065 Ahhhh ... it's a rare event in our household when my husband and I have a Saturday and Sunday off together. The last one we had off together was June 21st ... I know cuz it was our 10 year anniversary ... and we moved the whole weekend. We have GOT to figure out how to celebrate better! <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> This weekend we did something equally awe inspiring ... Cleaned up and organized the garage at the new house! <em>104</em> Ok, maybe that isn't exactly how I was feeling by... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 19:15:06 EST Good morning, Saturday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5756209 I'm still having trouble adjusting to having weekends off ... but committed to giving a "good o' college try" at figuring it out! <em>30</em> Hubby has a rare weekend off as well and I'm delighted he is still sleeping. Too bad he's missing the incredible 61 degree temp that is coming in through the windows right now ... It's wonderful! So happy the temperature seems to be dropping a tad these days. I am not a hot weather fan. <BR> <BR> It was a tough week. I didn't want to work any o... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 09:04:16 EST Too funny http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5753562 This morning I couldn't sleep so I went into work to find a shirt I need for an event tonight (as I've grown out of the ones I have <em>39</em> ) and to use the treadmill in there. Somehow, I lost track of the time while I was on the treadmill and ended up being late for a breakfast date ... It's always something, isn't it? <BR> <BR> Thank you to all my very sweet, faithful friends who are showing up every day to leave me encouraging words. Know that I WANT to get on your pages and re... Tue, 5 Aug 2014 10:55:18 EST Today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752730 My to-do list for today is long but most of it is not work related. That causes me some stress. I have hours of unfilled time this morning (which works out well for me to get my walk in) but no businesses are open that I need to go to. I'm supposing it will all work out in the long run. <BR> <BR> I'm working on creating a "capsule" wardrobe with just basics that I can mix and match across the board. I am happy I have a couple of things already and have been fairly successful picking up a... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 08:23:11 EST Beginning ... again ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5752225 Yes, I am tired of starting over ... so I'm guessing that means I need to stop giving up, huh? <BR> <BR> I've got to stop milling around in my life and get some direction again. I know I feel better when I eat right and when I exercise. In fact, I feel fabulous when I feel strong! Right now, I don't feel strong ... <BR> <BR> I can't wear anything in my closet or dresser anymore unless it is blessed with very forgiving elastic. That is a big problem ... especially since I want to presen... Sun, 3 Aug 2014 12:03:10 EST Our son's obit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5736140 I put the content in the title so people can choose not to look at it. Thank you all for your prayers, your thoughts, the Spark Goodies and the comments. It is so comforting to know people are lifting us up. Thank you. <BR> <BR> <link>www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahopress<BR>/obituary.aspx?n=allen-beams&pid=17167<BR>2449&fhid=3053 </link> Thu, 10 Jul 2014 15:27:33 EST It never rains ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734036 ... instead it pours ... <em>51</em> <BR> <BR> Very early this morning, we were awakened by one of the Sgts from my agency. Everyone knows you NEVER want to see an officer at your house during the middle of the night ... and this was no exception. <BR> <BR> We found out that our youngest son, Allen (my stepson ... my bonus child) had passed away on Saturday evening at home - was found at home on Sunday - from undetected advanced heart disease. He was 23 years old. He doesn't live in ... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 19:18:54 EST Flying by http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5732438 What an amazing period of time this is ... <em>40</em> Good, bad and ugly all wrapped together. <BR> <BR> The UGLY? My laptop has died and I can't blog off my iPhone ... BUMMER! And the move ... ugh ... I HATE clutter! I have stuff stacked everywhere and it's driving me crazy. I don't have the time and energy at the same time to accomplish much these days! <BR> <BR> The bad? Not so bad but it is challenging ... but managable. I'm working in both of my positions right now and a litt... Sat, 5 Jul 2014 10:29:37 EST FINALLY! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5720877 It's official! As of July 12th, I will be in my new position! Gulp ... sigh ... giggle ... all of those are totally how I'm feeling right now. <BR> <BR> GULP - That's a big change! Wow ... I like to be challenged ... I want to grow ... but WOW! <BR> <BR> Sigh - Leaving behind 22 years of one career field to step into a management position outside that career field is nostalgic, no matter how you look at it. I'm going to miss certain parts of dispatching - no question about it! <BR> <... Wed, 18 Jun 2014 19:19:34 EST random ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5717497 I am all over the place emotionally these days. Sigh ... so much crashing through my head and leaking tears down my cheeks. It's hard to separate sorrow from joy. <BR> <BR> First and foremost, I am so incredibly thankful my son was not one of the soldiers taken by the "friendly fire" incident in Afghanistan. I knew he was out on a mission but I didn't know about the event when I woke up that morning and sent him a text that read "You ok? I'm praying for you". His response was "commo bla... Fri, 13 Jun 2014 22:29:32 EST Simplifying vs Organizing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713968 I JUST read an article on SparkPeople last night before I blogged about how getting organized is one of the best tools to help succeed in weight loss. This morning I open up an email and there is the title in BIG BOLD letters - Why Simplying instead of Organizing is Better! Boom! There ya go. <BR> <BR> I was thinking last night that I AM organized ... I've got the compartmentalization part of the organization down. I set aside time to shop and cook once a week (same with laundry) and I... Mon, 9 Jun 2014 08:22:52 EST Note to me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713728 This morning in church I was thinking over all the areas in my life right now that I'm struggling with trying to control. My job, my children, my mom, some key relationships in my life ... all of these areas are constantly pressing into my brain. I am sleeping very little on a regular basis as I have imaginary conversations of things I did say, things I wish I hadn't said and things I think I might say if given the chance ... None of which I can control right now. <BR> <BR> It's so easy to... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 21:56:27 EST Good bye to this week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5713153 Ugh ... I was right. The waiting is the hardest part. I had my oral board in front of a panel of 4 on Monday and my second interview on Wednesday that was one-on-one with the boss. The scheduled 15 minutes turned into 35 minutes because we had such a great conversation. Good news is I'm first on the promotion list. Bad news is he can choose from the top three. Sigh ... the announcement is supposed to be made by June 18th ... <em>40</em> ... I realize that the time will pass exactly ... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 00:06:08 EST Now the wait begins http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5709465 It's going to be difficult to go through the waiting period that is inevitable when you are applying for a new position. Seems nothing can ever be quick AND easy. In all fairness, I suppose it makes sense for a business to make sure they are picking the RIGHT person for the job. <BR> <BR> It was a very intense 10 day period trying to get prepared for the interview. I interviewed tons of people, constructed a resume packet and read A LOT of stuff ... none of which appeared to have stuck ... Tue, 3 Jun 2014 05:26:30 EST Interview tomorrow http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5708365 I'm on the count down. Uniform is hanging in the closet ready to go, resume packets are complete and I think I'm ready for this. I'll let you know how it goes! Sun, 1 Jun 2014 20:49:55 EST Where's Eda ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5704124 I know ... I'm MIA again. It can't be helped! See ... there's this job that just came up I want that opened on Friday and I don't have much time to get prepared for the interview. I told someone last night that I feel like I'm cramming for finals in high school again ... except this is much, much more! <BR> <BR> I probably won't be on until after that experience is behind me. My interview is next Monday. I would appreciate any prayers and words of support/encouragement anyone wants t... Tue, 27 May 2014 07:56:23 EST Relieving stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698812 How on earth am I supposed to blog and sound positive when there's no easy way to make my mom's journey into a blessing ... a gift ... a positive anything? Got a call today from one of the Hospice RN's to update on where Mom is. This is how we keep in touch since they can't see her on a day that I am available ... or until they have an opening on a day I'm available. So the news today was not good and my heart hurts. My body hurts. My brain hurts. <BR> <BR> I could sit around for hour... Mon, 19 May 2014 23:11:19 EST Waiting in faith http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5698009 There's so much going on right now that it would be so easy to just get all stressed out, throw up my hands and declare "I can't handle this"!!! Except I don't want to live in the midst of stress and anxiety and frustration. Maybe this is where I learn patience and self acceptance while dialing down my stress level. Maybe this is where I learn to stand in faith and wait for God to meet our need. It's definitely time to learn not to react to others when they are stressed out and looking fo... Mon, 19 May 2014 00:00:23 EST Hit and miss http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5696214 I'm in one of those weeks where there's too much to do and way not enough time. I'm completely exhausted and still have no end in sight! LOL .... isn't that just Life though? My eating is all over the place but my exercise is steady. I'm looking for the blessings in things instead of trying to conquer every mountain. <BR> <BR> We did get the washer and dryer out of the middle of the kitchen ... and I managed to get an "Open House" sign with the date and times showing on it put up at th... Fri, 16 May 2014 08:39:50 EST Interesting day so far http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5694281 I started off this morning ok ... a little overwhelmed but ok. See, yesterday I got a text from our realtor wondering if he can hold an open house on Sunday from 10 am - 2 pm. O-k-a-y ... in my work schedule time frame that means basically the day after tomorrow. When you work 12 hour shifts, there isn't a lot of time to do other stuff. And goodness only knows how a house that we have basically moved everything non-essential out of can still need SO MUCH time, effort and energy to keep it... Tue, 13 May 2014 15:42:44 EST Not Spark related http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5693093 I'm up early cuz I'm still not a good sleeper ... LOL ... guess there will always be something I'm not very good at! As I'm organizing my day (and finishing off my first bottle of water for the day), I'm trying to figure out how to identify the shrubs that are at my new house so I know how to best care for them. The things that are currently planted are not the things that will probably stay there but for now, I need to work with what is in the ground ... with the exception of the ground co... Mon, 12 May 2014 06:32:26 EST Photos of my Mother's Day weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5692900 Yesterday, my oldest son brought me lunch to work yesterday. I love him so ... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/2/l92685408.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Today, I got this picture from Afghanistan! Caleb, my youngest, is on the far right. I miss him tons ... <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/9/l699057219.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Today's activities were breakfast and then a 3 hour train ride for my mom and a friend of her's. So blessed by my family and friends ... <B... Sun, 11 May 2014 22:07:32 EST Watch your expectations http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5692893 In trying to get going on Sparking, one of my tasks was to re-evaluate my fitness goals for the week time period. I had them set pretty high due the fact I was running pretty consistently and exercising almost every day "before" ... "Before" is the period before my mom got diagnosed. I figured that since I'm just getting back into the swing of things, I need to lower my expectations and therefore my goals for the time I would be spending exercising AND the amount of calories I would be burn... Sun, 11 May 2014 21:59:45 EST Brain washed by social media http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5692159 Rachel and I got in a 4.5 mile run/walk this morning (YAY us!!!) before I went to work. During our time together, I was asking her if she had seen the trailers for "Am I Perfect" which is a project done by two college girls with a focus on what a significant portion of the female population does or has tried to fit into the "perfect picture" that is presented as "beautiful" by marketing. <BR> <BR> In talking about it, I was groping around for the correct word to describe how incredibly powe... Sat, 10 May 2014 19:25:37 EST I just want quiet http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5691510 There are days when all I want by the end of my shift is quiet and my bed. Today is one of those days. If I could go through the rest of the day without a phone ringing or anyone needing anything from me, I'd be perfectly content. I'm just totally exhausted. <BR> <BR> We're supposed to go to a get together tonight and I just don't feel like I have the energy to even make an effort to go. Ugh ... why are things so hard??? I'm a grown up and perfectly capable of making my own decisions ba... Fri, 9 May 2014 19:07:44 EST Tough day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690852 It was a tough day to say the least. Thank you, Sharon, for asking how my mom is doing. The answer is she is continuing to decline. Today the scale showed she has lost 15 lbs in 3 months ... that makes 115 lbs since she was diagnosed in July 2013. The cancer is growing slowly in her throat making it more difficult to swallow a lot of foods. Her interest in food is pretty much nil these days. I was struggling with that emotionally for quite awhile until some kind soul did a little counse... Thu, 8 May 2014 21:06:49 EST Buddy time! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5689699 This morning my friend who is also a Sparker met me for a cold walk at 5:45 am. My day started off pretty fabulous and I feel great! Wed, 7 May 2014 10:57:34 EST Trying to get past the sweets craving. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5689124 This is my hardest time of the day. It's 3 pm. I've had breakfast and lunch ... and a snack because I was still hungry. I had a garden salad with some grilled chicken and a piece of string cheese ... plenty of protein ... then I started prowling the kitchen for something else - something chocolate to be exact. I tried to placate my sweet tooth with a 90 calorie snack but that was like trying to put out a house on fire with a spray bottle. <BR> <BR> My plan was to work on getting my go... Tue, 6 May 2014 17:12:33 EST List for today http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5687767 Walk (Make that a slow run!) <BR> Grocery shopping <BR> Cooking for the week <BR> Spend time with Mom <BR> Head to old house and work in flower beds <BR> <BR> Wondering why this is called a day "off" ... <em>211</em> <BR> <BR> ******* Scratch the list ... I got through the run and the grocery shopping before I received a call for overtime. Some things just don't change! ************* <em>250</em> Mon, 5 May 2014 07:46:40 EST It's been way too long ... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5687575 I can't believe it's been January since I've blogged. <em>40</em> I'd share all the gloom and doom - except I've finally moved past it --- and I don't want to go back there again. I've never been one to struggle with depression but you never know what will be the thing that drives you to the place where you can't care anymore. <BR> <BR> I knew I was in trouble when it finally registered in my brain about a month ago that I hadn't made a list in WEEKS! I am a compulsive list maker ... ... Sun, 4 May 2014 22:48:05 EST A few pictures and an apology http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5588491 The apology first .... THANK YOU to all of my Spark friends who still stop by when I post and leave me encouragement! I can't tell you how much that means to me. Everything is so chaotic in my world right now, I can't really even begin to explain it. I'm sorry that I don't get back to you in a timely manner ... please know I think of you often and hold your encouragement and prayers near to my heart. The recent news of one of my Spark buddies getting engaged over the holiday has brightene... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 19:56:33 EST