DUBAIGIRL's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DUBAIGIRL DUBAIGIRL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ 30lbs down baby! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5729102 Focus on what you've done not what you have yet to do is becoming my new motto because I know I could easily lose another 90lbs but I HAVE l lost 30. <BR> <BR> 30 WHOLE POUNDS <BR> <BR> And that is amazing. Awesome. Wonderful. <BR> <BR> All my clothes feel looser. My work uniform is heaps looser, I no longer feel like the fabric is going to burst at the seams every time I bend down. Hurrah! I've lost 2.4lbs this week and those were the two that tipped me into everything feeling like it's... Mon, 30 Jun 2014 13:19:55 EST 2lb down baby! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724032 Night shifts are clearly the answer to weight loss. I can't tell if it's because I'm on my feet for 10-12 hours, eating less big meals (meaning those 3am cookies aren't doing much damage) or I'm so tired I'm reading the scales wrong and have actually gone up a stone but looking on the bright side, woohoo! <BR> <BR> Almost seems wrong that I'm about to seek out some toast..... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 10:49:33 EST What's a year in the great scheme of life? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5719152 So I realised that it's been a very, very (VERY) long time since I checked in on here. My bad. Life sort of got away from me for a bit and friends I'd made on here had all drifted away or disappeared and there didn't seem to be much point. <BR> <BR> But, <BR> <BR> to catch up. The midwifery is going well, I've caught 14 babies and am starting on labour ward again this week so hopefully that will go up quite quickly. I've started hypnotherapy and hoping a hypno band will have some effect. ... Mon, 16 Jun 2014 13:54:45 EST Toilet doors are evil http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5435279 So, yesterday I opened a toilet stall door. In revenge at this atrocity, the toilet door struck back and decapitated my big toe. That is, knocked the nail off the nail bed causing much pain and blood. <BR> <BR> A little bit of an over reaction I think. <BR> <BR> Since it was too late for the doctors I ended up in A&E where horrible things happened to poor toe. I'll save you the gore but end result - all bandaged up. <BR> <BR> Problem? I can't put my foot in a shoe which means NO running... Sat, 27 Jul 2013 13:36:21 EST The week of the Bridesmaid http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5413897 Opps, so what with all the champagne, bucks fizz, vodka, wine, hamburgers, desserts and general merriment that comes with a wedding, I've managed to regain all the weight I lost over the last 3 weeks. I hate my body and it's unbelievable ability to absorb any kind of fat and instantly keep it. <BR> <BR> The wedding was amazing though and I only cried like 5 times. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/1/l917319609.jpg"> <BR> <BR> With the gang from uni. Can't believe... Mon, 8 Jul 2013 05:04:09 EST week 2 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5406989 so after my two days which included a box of chocolates for dinner and then a MacDonalds meal for lunch the next day (although that's all I ate that day) I lost 0.2lbs but you know what? It's still a loss! It's not a gain which is what I thought it would be so hurrah! <BR> <BR> I'm fairly sure that this time next week I won't be able to say the same thing as I will have been at a wedding for 2 days and I know that lots of wine/food will be consumed but I'll deal with it. Mentally I feel a b... Mon, 1 Jul 2013 05:18:19 EST labouring for my sins... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5402486 Today a lovely couple gave me a GIGANTIC box of chocolates for delivering their baby yesterday. I was shattered after staying late on a late shift and doing an early today and to my shame have inhaled loads of them! Talk about a week moment. <BR> <BR> Worse, my scales have died a death and refuse to come back to life no matter what TLC I give them. Blast! <BR> <BR> Yours, <BR> Eating only salad tomorrow, <BR> Claire x Wed, 26 Jun 2013 13:30:56 EST Week 1 and I'm feeling fine http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5399828 I've lost 6.6lbs this week, oh the joy!! <BR> <BR> I'm focusing on lbs lost and not the fact that it still leaves me at 237lbs! Why oh why did I allow myself to put all this weight back on - not paying attention and prioritizing other things, that's my problem! Well no more <BR> <BR> So in an effort not to start slipping, I've gotten up and just done week 2 of c25k. Not a major achievement you say? well, it is when I now have to get ready and do a full shift until 10pm tonight running up a... Mon, 24 Jun 2013 06:14:41 EST Oh bollocks! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390960 Yep, I'm back. I'm back weighing more than I have ever weighed in my life. Fudge. <BR> <BR> mmmm fudge.... <BR> <BR> stop that now! <BR> <BR> So, tomorrow I am strapping myself in to the weight loss wagon. I meant it, I am nailing myself down. This year I have 3 weddings, the one in 2 weeks is pretty much scuppered but I have another in August and I'm maid of freakin honor in October. I CAN lose before Oct. <BR> <BR> I am going to have to start keeping the faith, Bon Jovi style <em>22... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 15:55:10 EST UK based baby! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5057780 So I'm now living in the UK! How crazy is that? <BR> <BR> It's been a mad month. Everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong but I've finally, finally, finally been allowed to start the midwifery course. I'm still waiting to find out how much they're going to give me to live off though and money is tight but I'm here, my cats are here and the girls I've met so far are wonderful. <BR> <BR> So it's all good and miracles of miracles, I've been here since the 2nd of August and I haven't put ... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 14:43:01 EST Ramadan...it's not helping http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4982597 So it's the holy month of Ramadan and there is no eating or drinking in the office, in public ect ect and rather than helping me, it's hindering me big time. Why? Because I am lazy. soooo lazy and the last two days I haven't had time to have breakfast before I leave the house because my lazy self would rather have the extra 30 minutes in bed and starve. <BR> <BR> This is a problem because I obviously can't eat at work. Or drink. As I type this I am SO SO thirsty. I fasted with everyone one ... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 03:36:46 EST Ok maybe I'm being paranoid... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4967162 but the woman in the gym was staring at me! Not obviously, but she kept sneaking little glances at me. <BR> <BR> It made me uncomfortable. <BR> <BR> It made me wonder why I was running on a treadmill at the gym when I'm 220lbs. <BR> <BR> Why did she keep looking at me?! She was on the treadmill next to me and she'd look at me, run a bit then slow down to a walk and look at me again and repeat. <BR> <BR> I was very aware of her trying not to stare and failing! <BR> <BR> It made me wo... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 12:33:08 EST A little piece of who I want to be http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4961595 My treadmill is currently in transit to the UK because I'm moving home so it means I can't just hop out of bed and onto a treadmill. <BR> <BR> Instead I got up at 6am and went to the gym and ran there. I didn't run as much as I wanted to and I've actually come home sick from work. Combine that with TOM and I feel pretty rotten which I think might be why it was so hard to run this morning. <BR> <BR> The point is, today I was that person. The one who is committed to exercise and improving th... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 06:21:26 EST My weight is built on excuses and 'meaning well' comments http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4954491 I was thinking about this the other day and how I allowed myself and was allowed to put on so much weight as a child. Part of the massive weight gain was linked to PCOS and it's true that I put on about 3 stone in a year right before puberty (42 lbs peeps!) but that wasn't the only reason. <BR> <BR> I was a late reader - due to dyslexia and so when I finally learned to read properly at about 7 (told you it was late) all I wanted to do was read books. I wanted to prove that I could finally r... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 01:09:55 EST Goal not achieved but happy anyway http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4939658 So I didn't lose 4lbs this week but I did lose 1.2lbs and I figure in the long run, as long as I'm going down and not up it could be a lot worse. Plus there were roast dinners and desserts last week so that's bound to have had an impact. I'm proud to say I exercised 6 days last week and today is my rest day. It wasn't going to be because I was going to get up this morning and do the last session of week 4 on c25k but when I was still awake at midnight I figured I needed the extra hour in bed!... Sun, 24 Jun 2012 00:58:33 EST This week is tough http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4935664 So father's Day was on sunday and I succumbed to a roast dinner plus pavolova and profiteroles for dessert! Then on Tuesday I had a slice of chocolate cake but so far that's all the sugar that I've consumed. I've stuck to good foods, I've been running each morning before work (except today where I'll do it after work) and yet I've gone up by half a pound. I'm sticking to my guns and I believe that if I keep doing what I'm doing (minus the cake and roast) then I'll have lost before the Sunday ... Thu, 21 Jun 2012 03:12:21 EST Exercise is GO! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4930923 This week I have done 30 mins of exercise everyday for 7 days!! Today I decided I would have a rest day and spent the extra hour in bed which was amazing but tomorrow I'll be back to a workout before work. Although it kills me to sacrifice that time when I could be sleeping, it means that for the rest of the day I don't feel like I've done a workout but I have! It also means I don't have to try and schedule one in for afterwork when there are 101 other things that I need to do. <BR> <BR> So... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 02:12:39 EST Whoo for 1lb! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4909555 And I say whoo! because last wed I had a food meltdown and stuffed myself with chocolate. Then I was incredibly good to make up for it so this week I have gained 5lbs and lost 6lbs, huzzah! <BR> <BR> I think my skin is probably in crisis though and doesn't understand what the hell is going on. and today we're celebrating the Queen's Jubilee in the office so I'm eating carbs. Carbs which will easily make me put on 6lbs again and have to work like a crazy person to get it off! <BR> <BR> ces... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 04:22:24 EST Marge Simpson is that you? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4900883 Soooo on Thur I was hit by the cold/flu/mutant virus that my boss has been sneezing and spluttering all over the office with for the last two weeks. Why is it that you don't even think about how often you swallow until it feels like your saliva is made of razor blades and then it's all you can think about? We swallow a lot by the way. A LOT. <BR> <BR> Anyway, although I now feel much better I have developed a gravelly voice and should I decide to start sporting a blue tower of hair, I could... Mon, 28 May 2012 09:09:33 EST Weekend, I miss you already http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4889228 Why are weekends only 2 days long? Surely it's time to bring in 3 day weekends? <BR> <BR> So I think I may have figured out what's been wrong with me recently. A while ago I lost my medicine for hypothyroidism and so last week I went to the doctors and got some more but it takes a while to build back up in my system and I take it haphazardly at best. I think the outcome of this was my depression and exhaustion last week. <BR> <BR> Thankfully I'm feeling much more like myself this week. I'm... Sun, 20 May 2012 00:50:46 EST Grumpy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4881944 Ok it might be the lack of sugar but I am incredibly grumpy. I don't want to be at work, I don't want to go food shopping, I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be at home on my own with some good books and that's it. <BR> <BR> I don't care about what's happening at work, I don't care that I have almost no food in my fridge except some eggs and a cauliflower. I don't care that people at work keep asking me what's wrong. Nothing is wrong. <BR> <BR> I just don't care. <BR> <BR> I... Tue, 15 May 2012 02:20:39 EST You guys are awesome http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4873300 Loveanimal and Nevermind took the time to read my pity party yesterday and gave me some ways to change, thank you! <BR> <BR> While food is still crazy, I actually got out of bed today in time to walk for 30 mins on the treadmill before getting ready and going to work for an 8am start. I think I even got into work earlier than I usually do. <BR> <BR> I'm going to pump tonight too. <BR> <BR> Next week I am going to focus on my food and really get back into it. At the moment I'm not there ... Wed, 9 May 2012 01:04:43 EST Urgh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4871603 Went to BP last night, can now double the weight on my bar for the squats and the tricep workouts are getting more manageable. Now I hate lunges. Those things are devil designed! While I think all this is great for toning I don't think it will do much for my actual weight loss. I need to find time to run as well and get my heart pumping. <BR> <BR> I also need to go to bed earlier! <BR> <BR> This week is a disaster in terms of food. My heart just isn't in it. I've been having cereal with m... Tue, 8 May 2012 01:48:10 EST Death by brownies http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4868394 Ok so I did really well for the first 4 days of no sugar and then I had one bite of a banana cake and it sparked a vicious craving for sugar that I gave it to. Yesterday I made brownies and ate 1/3 of them myself!! argh! <BR> <BR> So today I have stopped all that nonsense and am back it in! On the positive side I went to 3 body pumps classes last week, plus running and swimming so at least it didn't all fall apart. I've only lost 1/2 an inch off my bust though (somewhere I do not need to lo... Sun, 6 May 2012 01:13:07 EST Day 1....again... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4860429 At least I haven't given up right? So here's to the 1 millionth 'Day 1'. It went pretty well. I didn't eat any sugar (hurrah) and I went swimming and to Body Pump, which nearly killed me. I went to a later class than usual and it was a different instructor. I now love the old instructor and never want to see this woman again! The class was also really full so I couldn't hide at the back like I usually do and had to suck it up and be near the front, directly in front of two hot guys (of course... Tue, 1 May 2012 00:45:31 EST My own inspiration http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4858560 When I went on holiday last August I was around 196-200lbs. I felt huge still but now Im looking back on those pictures and in comparison to how I look now, I was amazing!! This is what I want to get back to. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/3/l632355966.jpg"> <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l128556577.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I didn't make it to Zumba last night because my car wasn't back in time but I did spend almost 2 hours cleaning the ki... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 02:32:56 EST This is so me right now..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4857120 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l213656385.jpg"> Sun, 29 Apr 2012 06:11:11 EST scuba, scuba scuba http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4857013 I'm a diver! That's right, I sucked it up, went back and passed! Huzzah! <BR> <BR> I can now look ridiculously unsexy in a wetsuit legitimately and as often as I want. <BR> <BR> Take that 222lbs! That's the last time I see that figure on my scale too. I am sick of it. I miss onederland and I am going back. As Liz Lemon/Tina Fey would say 'I want to go to there.' <BR> <BR> Do you hear that fat? You're about to be blasted and starved of sugar and processed food. You want wheat? tough. What... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 01:05:24 EST Sad scuba diver over here :( http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4846139 So it's been a week since I 'woke' up and the first 5 days went really well and then I went scuba diving. This was one of the most humiliating things I have done in a long long time. I tend not to put myself in situations that could make me feel bad but boy did this one make me feel terrible! <BR> <BR> So this was the first of the sea dives and to do it we had to put on a full length wet suit. I don't know how many of you have been in these but I'm fairly sure they were created by the devil... Sun, 22 Apr 2012 05:37:19 EST WTHDIJDTM Day Two http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4836929 Day 1 - stayed off sugar and went to zumba! hurrah! <BR> <BR> Aim for day 2 - no sugar, go running. <BR> <BR> I WILL finish C25K. Everytime I get close to the end, everytime I get to the point where I can run for 20 minutes in a row, I feel great, my skin is glowing.....I stop running and commence eating. Any therapists out there coz I think this must say something about me! And I've done it since I was a child. When I was 12 I started my first ever proper diet and I stuck to it. After som... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 00:46:41 EST Exhausted http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4835580 You know what? I am tired of going up and down. I'm tired, tired, tired of being the biggest girl in the club or the restaurant or the office or the pool or on the beach. <BR> <BR> But I forget this. Oh yes, I have a wonderful skill, a dangerous, insidious skill of being able to immerse myself in my own head. I don't notice what's happening around me. I don't see the people staring at me but what's worse about this sneaky skill is that I don't see myself. I stop paying attention. It's like... Sun, 15 Apr 2012 03:32:17 EST Pump it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4799167 Why oh why did I choose to do a body pump class last night? I am so tired this morning I broke with my plan and indulged in a coffee (evil caffeine) and now my hands are shaking! More fool me I guess. <BR> <BR> But.. why isn't Body Pump an option in the Fitness section? Anyone know? I swear I have never worked so hard in all my life! The squats especially threaten to have me legs giving way and me keeling over, weights and bar tumbling on top of me as I collapse onto the Step of joy. Or may... Thu, 22 Mar 2012 04:40:59 EST Don't mind me, I'm just over here, wobbling away http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4792952 Down another pound this week. While I was hoping for more, yesterday I had one of those days, you know the kind, they start off really well and before you can blink you're knee deep in caramel popcorn, chocolate and oven pizzas. It was a carb fest extravaganza in my world. No particular reason. It just was. <BR> <BR> So 1 pound is good. I will take that and love it. <BR> <BR> The good news however is that I measured myself last week (pre gym) and this week (1 week into having a gym memb... Sun, 18 Mar 2012 06:34:23 EST Haaaalllooo Stress eating. I remember you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4788419 Stress people. STRESS! <BR> <BR> So on Monday night, just as I was jumping into bed (or sedately climbing in as would be more accurate) my phone started flashing. It was my bestie Angela! Hurrah I love to talk to her. So I mentally shoved my bedtime back a bit and answered the phone. <BR> <BR> Bad news. Angela was at the airport, she was heading back to the UK. FOR GOOD! I burst into tears as she told me that when she was made redundant 5 months ago, her and her husband have been worried.... Thu, 15 Mar 2012 03:57:32 EST 1lb down, a floppity-zillion to go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4782953 Yes I lost a lb this week, which is great but a gal my size really should be losing more than that. Especially when I can put ON 7lb in a week without breaking a sweat. <BR> <BR> I'm watching th biggest loser at the moment and the theme this year is 'No Excuses' which I love because they are making me question my own excuses. When I was laying in bed yesterday morning, debating whether I felt like going for a run or not (didn't want to do it because it's day 3 week 5 of c25k which meant a 2... Mon, 12 Mar 2012 00:58:31 EST Not too fat to jog :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4769405 My treadmill has been making ominous creaking noises. Scary 'I'm about to break if you don't get your effing lump off me!' kind of noises. It never used to make noises like that and they started around the time that I gained back 30lbs and then started C25K again. <BR> <BR> Full of fear that I am actually too fat to get fit, I checked the manual. Phew, the weight lmiit is 130kg = 286lbs. I am NOT too fat for the treadmill. So I had the maintenance guys come out and service it. Turns out it ... Sun, 4 Mar 2012 00:15:47 EST Happy Leap Year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4762576 Feb 29th, the day when the girls in my office gang up and plead, beg and send me multiple emails to make chocolate brownies for them. I of course, had to agree because there's only so many pictures of fluffy kittens with their hands in prayer that a girl can take! <BR> <BR> So I made them last night and of course I had to eat some of the batter that was left in the bowl and of course I had to eat the bit that broke off when I took it out the pan and it was still too hot and of course, I hav... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 00:19:58 EST What did David say? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4757278 Dear David Prescott, <BR> <BR> You are right. Thank you. <BR> <BR> Sincerely Claire. <BR> <BR> What is he right about? A while ago he said to me that he'd noticed a pattern with me, that every time I had an 'event' coming up I seemed to throw my rulebook out the window way in advance of said event and go on some sort of free for all spiral (not verbatim). <BR> <BR> I was thinking about this last night having just consumed half a litre of ice cream. I don't usually like ice cream, I ha... Sat, 25 Feb 2012 23:47:32 EST oh Monday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4746940 Monday is the second day of my working week and I'm not loving it. I have annoying meetings today, I moved so slowly this morning that I didn't have time to make lunch and will have to go home in my break to make lunch which takes 40 mins (there and back) so really not a happy bunny. <BR> <BR> I've had a 2 meal 'never mind falling off the wagon I'm tipping it over and setting it on fire!' slip but I figure, it's 2 meals. The worst thing I can do is throw my hands up in the air and decide al... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:09:36 EST Are you worth it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4739565 Today I read an article that had the sentence 'do you not realise how valuable you are?' and it made me think because my immediate, first thought was 'no'. I don't think of myself as valuable. I think of my family and my friends, even my cats in this way but not me. I'm just...me. <BR> <BR> For example, when I am really sick I won't drag myself out of bed to make something to eat or get a drink but I will force myself to put on clothes, leave the house and buy cat food if I've run out so th... Wed, 15 Feb 2012 06:30:14 EST First week? Slammed it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4734544 My first week back on the straight and narrow is finished and I lost 10.2lbs! Huzzah!!! <BR> <BR> My next task is to make sure that I keep losing this week as after a loss like that I have a history of then putting half of it back on and having to lose it all over again. <BR> <BR> In celebration I had honey goat's cheese in my omelette this moring which was absolutely AMAZING and I'm still thinking about it. It was so delicious! <BR> <BR> I'm up to day 3 of the first week of C25K and I ... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 00:06:47 EST Thursday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4729951 I am so glad Thursday is here! My bedtime has been creeping back and back and to top it all off I'm not sleeping well anyway so I am shattered. last night I couldn't go to bed at 9 because Line dancing didn't finish until 8:40pm so I didn't get home until just after 9pm. Then I was hungry so grabbed a can of tuna and a cup of tea while putting the cats to bed, had a shower and read for about 20 minutes before lights out. By then it was 10pm. I had a really broken night so when my alarm went o... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 01:35:10 EST Here we go, here we go, here we go (sing with me people) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4724534 I am back on the straight and narrow. I've bascially had almost 2 months of eating whatever I like and while it was great fun, I have suffered for it. I've gained a shed load of weight, my jeans which were nice and loose are now tight (again, sigh), my face is breaking out, my gut is complaining, I feel tired and listless and uncomfortable all the time. <BR> <BR> So, I am day two of eating like a normal person again and it's going well. I had a headache yesterday but I couldn't tell is that ... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 05:33:01 EST holy weight gain batman! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4722788 OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG! <BR> <BR> I'm at 226.7lbs!!!!! I've put on 30lbs since July. Flip. <BR> <BR> Commence rapid weight loss! Sun, 5 Feb 2012 00:21:35 EST Decision made http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4685892 Ok, so I know this might not be the 'right' thing to do or the right way of looking at things but I am writing January off. That's right, I am not going to bother trying to get back on the wagon this month. I know that my head is not in it at the moment, I am too full of interview nerves which are pushing me to buy copious amounts of chocolate everytime I think about it! I don't have the time to spend cooking nutritious meals when instead I am revising and reading articles and planning for th... Tue, 17 Jan 2012 01:12:51 EST Curses http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4681472 Hell in a handbag I am so far off the reservation I can't even see a way back. Know what I had for breakfast yesterday? (while lying in bed watching Dr Who). 4 frozen cupcakes, that's right, I said frozen, I didn't even wait for them to thaw. and some chocolate. <BR> <BR> know what I had for dinner that evening? 3 toasted bagels with butter and the rest of the chocolate. There was a burger and fries at lunch time. and some crisps. <BR> <BR> today I had a cheese wrap for breakfast and a ba... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 06:28:41 EST I didn't get away with it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4670305 Thanks to everyone for the comments yesterday. The scale was not kind to me this morning. Over the course of the week I've hopped on the doom device a couple of times to check progress and on Thur I was happy as I'd lost 8lbs, which made me think 'hurrah, I'll meet my 10lb goal for this week easily, I still have 4 days to go!' so off I trot, a happy bunny. <BR> <BR> However, this kind of thinking is what led to my only losing 4lbs this week (and thus putting ON 4). <BR> 'I am going to reac... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:25:42 EST Is it all about moderation? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4667681 If this is the case, why can't I do it? I seem to be all or nothing. I'm either not eating chocolate or I'm eating all the chocolate in the house. I'm either not drinking or I am so outrageously drunk I suffer from a hangover for days. I'm either exercising every day or not at all. <BR> <BR> I can't seem to find a balance. It's like a flip switches in me and I want EVERYTHING. Or nothing. I prefer the nothing to be honest, at least in the food department as at least I feel in control then. ... Mon, 9 Jan 2012 01:38:39 EST argh http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4653018 I just wrote a whole blog, my internet froze and everything got wiped! frustrating to the max. <BR> <BR> so, to give you the short version. Massive weight gain over xmas, have put it in the past, today is a new day = kicking those sugar cravings to the curb :) <BR> <BR> read an article called The Fat Trap: <BR> http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/magazi<BR>ne/tara-parker-pope-fat-trap.html?bl <BR> <BR> which helps to explain why I put on weight at the drop of a hat after losing 40lbs. serio... Tue, 3 Jan 2012 00:44:25 EST Merry Christmas everyone :) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4640939 I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to the New Year, just as I am! <BR> <BR> I've decided not to worry about the weight gain that is happening at the moment. I'm enjoying the food, spending time with my family and friends and I can diet in the New Year. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a bad day, I was fighting with my sister, my new phone wouldn't turn on and my landlord called me up to tell me that they want me to move as they want to expand their office into my apar... Tue, 27 Dec 2011 23:36:51 EST