DSBRIDE's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DSBRIDE DSBRIDE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ It's a good day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5969210 Seeing 2 docs today, 1 down, 1 to go. This mornings visit went very well. I'm grateful for such understanding and compassion, she was so helpful and there was no judgement of my life. I was so tired of everyone setting down impossible rules for me to follow. I sure would like for them to put everything I was told together and follow them themselves! I took the important things and what I could do and the rest I had to let go of. Somehow it all worked out. I am traveling a new road now ... Thu, 30 Jul 2015 12:37:07 EST Hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5967903 I am so hopeful that this week will be better. I saw the eye doc yesterday and he is pleased with my progress finally. It sure took a long time! I can now see with both eyes focused. That means I am walking better. I had to stop exercising before because of my balance but I am starting up again. How much stamina I lost in that time! I'm grateful to the challenges that goad me on, I am such a competitor! I will work to get back to where I was and beyond! <BR> <BR> Tue, 28 Jul 2015 09:59:41 EST Surgery over http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5965904 I am having one hell of a week! Tuesday's pre op was cancelled because there was no date on the faxed form. When I got a dated one, I found out they gave away my appt and couldn't get another one. I was supposed to have surgery on Wedsday so I called my doc and he fit me in at 6 pm but he wasn't happy how this was handled. I wasn't either! So I ran for the pre op and came home to a call that surgery was switched to Tuesday afternoon and someone would call me in the morning with a time. ... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 10:08:44 EST Funeral turned party! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5962842 I wrote an entire blog yesterday only to have it disappear before it posted. So today will be a continuation of it. I went to my aunts funeral this morning. She had a long life, passed away at age 93 and was up and walking right up to when she fell last week. This was expected so it wasn't a sad funeral, in fact there was a lively dinner at a restaurant afterwards. It was what she wanted and she left money to pay for it. The dinner was very good and I got to see a lot of people, relativ... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 17:26:50 EST Make today a good day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5956302 Today is the first day of a new week. It's time to put some effort into my workouts so I started this morning with over 1,000 steps. It doesn't sound like a lot but with my legs it is. I also have to get some veggies in as I have been sorely lacking here. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, a dear friend brought me 3 huge yellow squash from her garden. I've seen huge zucchini but never huge yellow squash. So this morning, I'm going to make them Parmesan style for sandwiches. There will be enough for ... Mon, 6 Jul 2015 10:22:58 EST More surgery http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5951492 How I wish I had goods news today at the eye doctors but it was not to be. My pressure is creeping up and it's reached the unacceptable point even with all the drops I'm using. So next Thursday, I meet with the surgeon about opening the tear ducts up. I knew this would be coming but still it hit me like a ton of bricks. Something else to go thru. A 50-50 chance of it working out. Not real great odds but better than the alternative. Maybe this will end soon. <BR> <BR> Meanwhile I'm rem... Fri, 26 Jun 2015 20:30:52 EST Numbers are going down! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5944074 I'm always here when I have to vent so today I decided to share some good news instead. I've been working hard to get my sugar numbers down and for the first time in over 6 months this morning it was 105! Those that know can appreciate this. I'm so happy, this just made my day! Fri, 12 Jun 2015 15:09:04 EST The mind rules! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5943456 I had a new to me thought today that I want to share. I play a game sometimes on line where I find the hidden objects. There are days when I can whiz right thru it and then there are days when I can't find anything and how easy it is to give up. I've seen how if I put it in my mind that I'm not going to find the object, then I don't find it but if I keep saying to myself, you can do this, I do it! And so goes my weight loss too. On the days I have the resolve and determination, I have a ... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 11:33:50 EST Where's the fun! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5942502 It's been awhile and things have finally calmed down in my life. Perhaps I've just accepted how they are and am moving forward. I've let go of most of my stress and that made a world of difference. I am still dealing with the eye doctor situation but now when I go there, I don't expect any changes as there aren't any, this will be going on forever! <BR> <BR> I have a new problem with my legs. They are fine if I am upright but the minute I lay down in bed, they get very cold and ache some... Tue, 9 Jun 2015 18:56:33 EST New Doc http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938002 Today, I had an apt with my new oncologist as I was frustrated with the one I had. We had a difference of opinion and he dismissed me when I went against his recommendation for radiation. My surgeon said it wouldn't help and don't put myself thru it. This new Dr is a young woman, kind, caring and just plain nice. She read all the reports and agrees with my surgeon. I am happy to add her to my team. <BR> <BR> Now that that is settled, I just have to take care of my eyes. I have an appt ... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 16:51:19 EST 5 years http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5935729 In 2010, I hit rock bottom and was determined to do something about it. I found a diet site called iChange and with the support of the people I met there, I started my journey. I was doing great, I had lost 77lbs and was the biggest loser on the site. I enjoyed this status until a younger girl came along and surpassed me. It was like my balloon was deflated and even though I kept trying, things began falling apart. The site itself was sold and I didn't like the way things went. They pus... Thu, 28 May 2015 13:13:44 EST This never ends! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5929507 Yesterday I got another setback. It was not well received. I didn't make a public spectacle but I could have screamed and then cried. My poor husband got the brunt of it all day. My mood started off good but then turned quickly after going back to the eye dr. My body is rejecting all the efforts to restore my sight. My stress went back up and I wonder just how much more I can take. <BR> <BR> Another time I would have drowned myself in donuts but instead I made myself a chocolate pity c... Sun, 17 May 2015 09:14:18 EST A bright, sunny day! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5928010 Today is a new, good day, bright and sunny. The best part of it is I can see it! Yesterday's procedure restored a lot of my sight and I am so grateful for that. <BR> I don't think you really appreciate anything till you are faced with losing it. This year, I learned to appreciate every day as I don't know when it will be taken away. I learned to appreciate pain as its a warning that something should be checked out before it gets worse. I learned to appreciate my eyesight and now I dwell ... Thu, 14 May 2015 10:29:22 EST Stress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5927181 Stress! How do I handle this? Growing up I did just fine with this. I subscribed to the theory of don't worry till it actually happens. This year that changed. I couldn't stop myself from worrying and in the process I made myself sicker. I was almost done with everything I've had to go thru. Today should have been my last day of worry. I didn't sleep last night knowing what I had to face today. Needles in my eye to release the pressure that stress built up. The mere thought of it ca... Tue, 12 May 2015 21:38:19 EST Happy Mothers Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5925737 Happy Mothers Day to all my spark friends. Whether you have children or not, you have nurtured and supported all your friends on here and been like a mother to them so you deserve being honored on this day. I hope you all have a great day! <BR> <BR> Thank you too, for all that have sent me best wishes on this special day. Sun, 10 May 2015 11:03:05 EST Life is good! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5922517 Last week is over and I have some breathing room now so I'm considering this a vacation. After the eye Dr, the next day, I went to the sugar Dr who upped my meds. Still not great but better. She was very understanding and didn't mention my weight gain. She had another agenda. She read all my reports and saw they found a nodule on my thyroid. Now I have to get an ultrasound there to see what is going on. Maybe this is affecting my sugar too, I don't know anymore?? <BR> <BR> So the next... Mon, 4 May 2015 15:15:14 EST I'm glad today is over, thank you all! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5919268 When I was younger, I saw a horror movie where the young girl had needles put in her eyes. Don't you think those imagines have come back to haunt me the last 2 nights! <BR> Today I went to face my worst fear and the procedure couldn't be done because the Dr forgot to tell me not to take aspirin which is part of my heart healthy regime. So he did the laser to open the ducts and the 5 minute procedure had a 3 hr waiting period to get in. This Dr always does this, over schedules and runs 3 ... Tue, 28 Apr 2015 19:07:21 EST I keep trying http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5918390 Since my last blog, I have seen more Drs then I can count, almost everyday. I have 4 different eye drops to put in 4 times a day at least 5-10 mins apart. They have brought the pressure down a bit but it's not good enough so tomorrow I am having laser in one eye to open up the tear ducts and a needle procedure in the other eye to actually take some fluid out. These drops have taken a good 2 hours out of my day but a small price to pay to save my sight. However the stress is really getting... Mon, 27 Apr 2015 08:52:26 EST Another Whammy! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5913489 How much more can I take?? I only had 4 good days before I got hit with another whammy! This time I noticed my vision hazing over and blurry. I went to the eye Dr thinking that it was from my sugar since its been out of control throughout my ordeal. I was finally getting it back down and then this. Come to find out, it's not from my sugar. The pressure in my eye went from 17 to 44 according to Friday's test. This morning, I got an early morning call to retest the pressure so I went and... Sat, 18 Apr 2015 14:17:43 EST Happy! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5912371 Things are much better this week. The biopsies came back benign and another thing to watch but not do anything about right now. I dug deep within myself to get back on track this week. I rejoined the exercise challenge and it has been so hard but I've met my goal everyday. I stopped my night snacking, another very hard thing to do. I am also really watching my sugar and although it has gone down, I am not happy where it is. I'll have to keep working on that. <BR> <BR> My Mom went int... Thu, 16 Apr 2015 12:22:46 EST Prayers needed http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5908220 Things are not going well with me. I went for an ultrasound yesterday and they immediately did 2 biopsies. They hurt so much and I went home hurting. Today I'm a bit better but I feel like such a baby. I have no tolerance for pain anymore. I always was so strong but now it's different. So I'm waiting for more results that I hope to get by Monday. Please God, let this be a false alarm! Thu, 9 Apr 2015 10:15:04 EST Determination http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5903108 I have become a stronger person having gone thru so much the past 3 months. I know what I want and am not afraid to speak up. I have taken a stand with my health and right or wrong, I will live with my decisions. Things are different, I've changed and I like the new me. <BR> <BR> I saw my oncologist after seeing the surgeon and he totally disagreed on my treatment. He wants me to get the surgery and if not to have radiation. I looked around his crowded office where people were like ca... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 18:34:23 EST Good news http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5901134 I have been going thru so much since January and yesterday I finally got all the answers to my questions, a plan of action and I met with the Dr that I trust with my life. <BR> I met with the surgeon that I thought was going to cut me open and put me thru lots of pain. Instead he took my hand and said he reviewed my situation, discussed it with his colleagues and if I agreed, they thought a more wait and see attitude was the better course of treatment for me. He said I have 2 cancerous tumo... Sat, 28 Mar 2015 11:05:27 EST Next week I take another step http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5895144 I am so stupid! That's sarcasim since I'm so very upset at this latest turn of events. Here I was waiting for a phone call from the surgeons office to set up an appt and he had already set one up for me on something called My Chart. MC is a Dr to Dr chart of every test and scan I have gone thru with all the results. It shows every appt I've gone to and what was done at that time. The problem is, no one told me about MC and the appt listings. Can't anyone just use a phone! What if I cou... Wed, 18 Mar 2015 09:56:14 EST God gives us hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5894121 Here it is a week later and I still haven't gotten the appt with the surgeon. I called again and apparently they forgot about me. I went back and reread the paper I was given regarding my visit with the oncologist. It also said to change my diabetic meds to a much lower dose. I was just getting that under control and now with the lower dose, it's going up again. I feel awful and wake up with a fog over my good eye. It disappears in a few hours but my vision is blurred in the morning. S... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 18:08:27 EST New update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5888616 I saw my oncologist yesterday and all the info I had been given is wrong. There will be no chemo, the prefered choice is surgery followed by radiation. I am getting an appt with a surgeon this week. Who knows when it will be. It's so hard when you expect one thing and then it changes. This whole process is nerve wracking! It's never over, just going from one thing to another. Meanwhile my life is upside down. Does the medical profession know what they put a patient thru, do they care?... Sat, 7 Mar 2015 10:29:52 EST Moms Birthday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5886098 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1292740903.jpg"> <BR> <BR> It was Moms birthday party and here she is waiting for everyone to come. The grandkids don't visit often so special occasions are important. They don't realize how much older people look forward to seeing them, they are so busy with their lives. Mom turned 91, at this age most of their friends are gone. How they miss talking with people their own age. She sat and waited almost all day and then finally when e... Tue, 3 Mar 2015 09:19:17 EST Moms birthday http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5884718 Yesterday was Moms birthday so today we are having a family party for her. She is 91. Everyone but my daughter will be there as she has to work. I saw a cute recipe on FB that I think the kids will like. So easy so I tried it. Take marshmallows and dip them in a bowl of water. Take dry jello in a plastic bag, add the marshmallows and shake to coat. Dry on dish. Done! I used cranberry jello and made maroon colored ones but you can make an assortment of colors and favors. So pretty. ... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 10:09:15 EST Shopping done! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882938 Yesterday was a lot to do kind of day. As I waited for my ride, I started cleaning off the van. It wasn't an easy job as I had to chip away at all the ice. 90 minutes later and I had only cleared the windshield and the hood. The rest is still buried. <BR> <BR> My ride came and I did a huge grocery shopping. I was very grateful for the ride but more so for the help carrying everything into the house. Then I was left with only putting it all away. Last night I suffered from having done ... Thu, 26 Feb 2015 07:31:08 EST Another day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5881821 Today I had to ask for help. It's a humbling experience. We try to be independent but sometimes circumstances are beyond our control. I try not to bother others with the exception of my daughter and even her, I know she's so busy so only for really important things. But today, I had to ask my sister for a ride to the store. It's been 5+ weeks since I've been grocery shopping and I really needed to go. She was very gracious about it but still I hated to ask. Our van is iced over and won... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 12:36:07 EST Excuses and satifaction http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879385 I've had a lot of ups and downs but this past week has been good. The challenge I joined encouraged me to get it done even when I didn't feel like it. I could have made lots of excuses, a big one is feeling sorry for myself but my minor aches and pains also could have been one too. Getting started is so hard but there is no satisfaction like what you get when you've completed the task. I need this satisfaction to ward off the depression that I could easily fall into. So one thing leads t... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 12:10:30 EST Results are in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5876712 I got a call early this morning with the results of my biopsy and it's confirmed that I do have lung cancer. If I had to pick between the good and the bad, I was fortunate to have the good cancer. It's slow growing, treatable and I don't have to go thru hell with the treatment. So I consider this good news and so much pressure has been taken off of me. The waiting was killing me as my mind could only imagine horrible scenarios. All the symptoms I have been having like the night sweats ar... Mon, 16 Feb 2015 11:29:56 EST Get it done http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5874358 I'm still in lots of pain and it's time to say something about it. I thought it would get better but it doesn't seem to be. Everything else is holding steady. Today is going to be another day of no exercise. <BR> <BR> I've been very lucky that my husband has picked up the slack. He's handicapped and limited in what he can do. I watch him fumble around but he's getting the job done. I never thought he would be waiting on me. It's humbling to sit back and let this happen. I'm not used ... Thu, 12 Feb 2015 08:55:36 EST Day After http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5873685 I woke up this morning in such pain. I can take a lot but this is really something else. The coughing is causing pain in my ribs on the left side and every breath is agony. Luckily I was able to sleep most of the night. I still have a fever but it's not bothersome. <BR> <BR> We had a discussion this morning about medical procedures. I realize I had to have this done and I expected some discomfort but not this. My husband is of the mind sake that they should have given me something to g... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 07:47:29 EST It's over! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5873337 I went in for my test and biopsy this morning. Now that's over and time to wait again for the results that will come in 4-5 days. The first test was apiece of cake but the biopsy itself was aweful. I expected to be asleep throughout the whole procedure. I woke up half way through and started coughing. So many tubes in my mouth and gagging on them. My throat should have been numb but I felt every move. It wasn't hurting, just very unpleasant. The deep coughing is still continuing and I... Tue, 10 Feb 2015 17:09:54 EST Finally..... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5872808 I am going in for my biopsy tomorrow as well as another test. After 3 weeks of waiting this is finally getting done. Today we had the promised snow storm with ice too. I'm worried about the drive tomorrow but my daughter assures me she will get me there even if the roads aren't cleared as we have to leave at 7 am. By noon, this should be over and then just the 3 day wait for the results. Please pray or send good vibes that all goes well. Mon, 9 Feb 2015 22:09:00 EST Limbo http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5871164 I have another appointment on Tuesday for my biopsy and my nerves are shot. I can't wait to get this over with but like the last 2 times, a new snow storm is expected this weekend. Hopefully we can make it in this time and it's not cancelled again. <BR> <BR> Let me tell you what it's like to live in limbo. Everyone you talk to, every show on TV, every commercial brings up feelings of am I going to die soon. Will this be the last time for some of the activities I'm doing. How much time e... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 10:15:49 EST NSV and I'm loving it! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5865791 I'm having a great week regarding this challenge that I joined. There are 2 other girls that are very competitive and our numbers are so close that we really work for top place. The challenge is to get in the most steps on fitbit. As the day winds down, we wrestle to end it with top place. I find myself exercising at 11 pm trying to get that top spot. The only thing is I'm on the East coast so my time zone ends first. It really is a challenge. <BR> <BR> I set my goal at 5,000 steps bu... Fri, 30 Jan 2015 09:10:45 EST NSV http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5863834 The blizzard came last night and its still going on. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be but still a lot. The state is still shut down but I have no place to go. <BR> <BR> I did have a NSV yesterday when I hit over 10,000 steps on my fitbit! It's a first for me. I joined a challenge and being as competitive as I am, this spurred me on. Today I have over 4,000 steps but the day is still young. Tue, 27 Jan 2015 14:41:49 EST Just my luck! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5862470 Just when I think everything is all set, here comes another monkey wrench! How I want to get this biopsy over as my nerves are shot and the waiting is awful. So what happens, I have to cancel as we are going to have a blizzard Monday night into Tuesday. they are calling this a historic storm with snow up to 26 inches and lots of winds. <BR> Just my luck! Sun, 25 Jan 2015 20:26:49 EST New hope http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5861540 Yesterday was a very long visit with a top Yale specialist. He was arrogant, egotistical, and had a horrible bedside manner. He also kept me waiting for almost 3 hours. Perhaps that is what makes him the best. He is the first Dr to offer me a glimmer of hope. I go on Tuesday for a hi def cat scan and then the biopsy. I should have results back in 72 hours. <BR> <BR> This has really changed my perspective on life. When I thought there was no hope, I gave up trying to lead a healthy l... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 11:18:23 EST Results in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5859877 I learned the test results and now it is certain that I have some form of cancer. It could be a carcinoid which is slow growing or it could be the metastatic kind, a faster growing one. My next step is seeing a Dr for a consult on Friday who will set up a biopsy to determine which one. Treatments are different for each. Then I will see an oncologist that will decide the treatment. It feels good to finally have a plan of action. <BR> <BR> I have learned what is really important and believ... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 22:01:52 EST Peace again! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5856274 Today is a new day and I'm back in my routine. I slept last night with a peaceful acceptance of what will be, will be. I can't change anything so it's time to put things aside and be as normal as possible. During this time, I gained 4 lbs, another thing I have to accept. Since my tests are done for the most part, I have now been cleared for exercising again. In a funny way, it felt good to do that this morning. Even though my weight is up, my sugar has gone down a lot. I guess one does... Sat, 17 Jan 2015 08:54:19 EST Diagnosis http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5855747 I have my results and its a punch in the gut. I did see the heart Dr this morning and he said it was just a fluke and nothing to worry about. Then I heard about the results of the pet scan. Apparently there were 2 masses on my lungs, one definitely negative but the other one is positive. So a specialist is being called in to reread the films and decide what to do next. Some choices are to treat it aggressively, to biopsy it, or to watch it and repeat the tests in 3 months. I can only tr... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 11:46:57 EST Following up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5851702 Yesterday I had a Dr appt for the hospital follow up. I learned that a part of my heart is not getting oxygen which is why I go see the heart Dr on Friday. More important, I learned I have to have a pet scan because of the suspicious cells in my lungs. I am trying not to panic but the thoughts won't go away. I am trying to stay positive as I have no pain but I still feel like something is off. <BR> <BR> We talked about how hard it is to keep my sugar in check and he increased my meds j... Sun, 11 Jan 2015 10:51:13 EST Thank you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5849414 Thank you to those that wrote on my last blog or thru emails about my hospital stay. I never felt so alone or down as when they hit me with the discharge details and follow ups I would have to go thru. It was like why bother anymore even to the point of stopping medical care. I'm 64 but I felt my life was over and I had almost accepted that whatever come what may. Being in the hospital, I was sleep deprived and not thinking straight. My friends here showed me I can't give up so I will fo... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 10:56:49 EST Hospital stay http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5848868 I have spent the last 4 days in the hospital with what started as a cardiac episode and ended with something also wrong with my lungs. I am so depressed as I have been working so hard and things are not good. If my days are numbered, I sure don't want to spend my last ones on a diet not enjoying my favorite foods while I can still eat and doing the dreaded exercises that are not helping. What a waste! <BR> <BR> I've had a battery of tests with vague results which won't become clearer un... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 18:46:57 EST Day 3 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845851 I am so pleased to report that last nights crisis was averted. I made it thru without eating anything else and this morning my efforts were rewarded with the lowest sugar number I've had in months. Still not there yet but closer. <BR> <BR> So today is day 3 and going good so far. Yes, I know only 3 days but it's a start. Everyday I get stronger but I can't rely on willpower alone. As much as I have an addiction to chocolate, I have stocked my house with nuts and fruit. As long as there... Sun, 4 Jan 2015 17:36:33 EST Tick tock! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5845149 It's 9:30 and I have an hour and a half till bedtime. I've already eaten my allotment for today but my head wants more. I've been watching the clock since 8:45, seeing the minutes pass ever so slowly. Today is the second day of this but I'm determined to get thru it. <BR> <BR> I keep telling myself that I'm not really hungry but somehow, I don't believe it. It's really not about the food, it's about my sugar numbers that I'm having trouble lowering to acceptable levels. I've got to ge... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 21:35:38 EST Happy New Year! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5842618 Happy New Year everyone! <BR> <BR> Today was a great start to a new year. It was a time of reflection and new resolves. <BR> Last year saw me lose 18 lbs of previous regained weight and I hope this year will take care of the rest. It showed me I can be consistent with my exercise that has become a part of my life. My sugar cravings are manageable and I know what to do with them. <BR> Life has less stress and handling what I do have is much better. <BR> Life is great! Thu, 1 Jan 2015 09:44:13 EST