DOKEYOKEY's SparkPeople Blog DOKEYOKEY's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Mindfulness and Company on the Journey I'm back. I've been away for months...and before that I wasn't really participating. My weight is now higher than it was the first time I started SparkPeople, and while it's not at an all time high, it's close. I'm two pounds away from the BMI "obese" category. That's a fact. <BR> <BR> So, while the seasons say it's not an ideal time to lose weight (in Chinese medicine, this is a time of gathering and keeping resources), it's also clear that holding excess weight is not healthy for me. ... Tue, 9 Dec 2014 10:58:28 EST I thought plateaus happened LATER! For five days I have been on track with food tracking, staying within calorie range (between 1,200 and 1,500 per day) and doing modest aerobic exercise every day and strength training (to “failure”) almost every day. Result? ZERO movement on the numbers on the scale, and I mean NADA. And, no, I don’t feel stronger, either (muscle vs. fat). <BR> <BR> Is this what middle age is? Is this insulin resistance? Grrr! Panic! In the past, when I have made efforts to reign in my eating and dial... Fri, 4 Jul 2014 08:39:12 EST Day 3 on Track: Update Did 3 (count' em) days of staying on track with food (tracking and staying within limits). <BR> Have I lost an ounce? <BR> Answer: No. <BR> Darn this middle-aged-ness! <BR> Nothing for it but to continue. <BR> <BR> I've been a bit of an exercise slacker because of the heat and humidity, but maybe I'll treat myself to a swim this afternoon....although, looking at the thunderstorm forecast, maybe not. Sigh: It's too hot for me already, so I'll just walk down the hill (1 mile) and back and ca... Wed, 2 Jul 2014 09:21:54 EST Stopping and Water! I'm proud of myself because I stopped eating the day before yesterday. Not altogether, of course, but I'm noticing that even if I eat a lot at one point during the day and feel freaked out about it, I can just stop and let that be enough for the day. I can also let myself wait to eat until I actually do feel hungry again (the old rules on never skipping breakfast are apparently out the window; new rules have to do with periodic fasting). <BR> <BR> I did okay yesterday until...(drum roll)...... Sun, 22 Jun 2014 09:14:33 EST Checking in, not checking out It's clear that emo stress, perceptions of overwork, being alone, and evening are the challenge times for me. <BR> <BR> When I'm feeling upset, angry, bored, stressed, and/or tired I have a tendency to reach "Stuff I Oughtn't Have." And just the fact that I am heavier than I want to be and and feeling kind of old and unattractive, and that I am worried about some health issues that are certainly related to eating makes me start with a baseline of stress. <BR> <BR> I certainly understand... Tue, 17 Jun 2014 10:37:52 EST My YES plan I'm going to feel better about inhabiting my body. I'm embarking on a good health, good skin, and feel good change. <BR> <BR> As a result of these changes, I anticipate that I'm going to gently step away from the extra weight that I allowed to creep up on me. My goal is to have lost 12 pounds by my 55th birthday in April (which is a gentle rate of not even one pound per week). I would still be above the top of my healthy BMI range but that's okay. <BR> <BR> I want to lose the weight ... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 11:41:26 EST Too busy doesn't matter It's too late tonight to write a blog, but I'm going to do it anyway. <BR> <BR> I've been too busy and too stressed out to focus on eating and least that's what I've been telling myself. <BR> <BR> I taught four classes this fall at two different colleges, and all of them had some particular challenges (one was at a new college, one was taken on at the last minute, one was new to me, etc.). And this spring, I'm teaching four classes again...with some particular challenges, inc... Tue, 12 Mar 2013 00:09:01 EST What does success feel like? I'm reaping the karma of allowing myself to fall into poor eating choices. <BR> And the problem is that even though I don't want to keep gaining weight...I also don't seem to want to stop making the choices I've been making. <BR> <BR> I realized that I need to remember what it feels like to be successful -- what those choices feel like every day. I have been successful in the past -- and I want to reorient myself to that stance so I can find it again! Here are some things that I am rec... Sat, 8 Dec 2012 10:43:37 EST Connection between sleep and weight. "Research has already shown that people who sleep less than seven hours a night tend to have a higher body mass index (BMI) than people who get more sleep. The biological mechanisms linking sleep deprivation and weight gain are numerous." <BR> <BR><BR>es/archive/2012/07/21/sleep-deprivatio<BR>n-causes-weight-gain.aspx?e_cid=201207<BR>21_DNL_artNew_1- Sat, 21 Jul 2012 12:00:00 EST Staying gently and solidly placed in the now? I am feeling discouraged...and feeling guilty for being discouraged, which makes it worse, of course. <BR> <BR> The broken toe has morphed into some other kind of compensatory injury that has caused my left lower leg to swell up a bit and feel like I have a mighty bad case of shin splints. That, of course, makes walking difficult. And lack of exercise leads to feeling worse, and feeling worse leads to overeating. <BR> <BR> I'm discovering is that the gremlin of overeating is never far ... Thu, 19 Jul 2012 09:30:55 EST Victories and Stumbles Had a mini-meltdown yesterday. However, since I don't keep anything that even resembles junk food at my place, it was relatively healthy as far as *what* I was eating. However, *how* I was eating and *how much* I was eating were not so good. <BR> <BR> The good news is that I waited until I was hungry again today to eat. Yes, I am trying to tune into signals! <BR> <BR> Today I had guests and I bought bread (something I have been trying not to have around), cookies (same), and butter (I ha... Tue, 10 Jul 2012 21:22:32 EST Doing the numbers... First, what's on my mind is my TOE! I broke it two weeks ago and have been working on healing it with herbs, vitamins, acupuncture, etc. I thought it was getting better and then I made the mistake of mowing the lawn wearing a pair of muck boots. Well, those boots were not a good idea. I am worried that I may have jammed it out of place. Ugh. I'm working on getting the swelling down so I can see... <BR> <BR> The broken toe is putting a BIG damper on my exercise routine. Walking on th... Sun, 8 Jul 2012 09:55:01 EST Tracking, tracking... I tracked for, count 'em, two days in a row. <BR> On day 2 (i.e., last night), I went to a little dinner gathering where it was a noshing affair and ate what I thought was WAY TOO MUCH. Partly, it's because I brought seltzer water but left in the fridge...d'uh! <BR> <BR> So: Then I thought: Oh, hell, I ate too much. Don't bother tracking all that stuff you stuffed in your mouth...just start tomorrow. <BR> <BR> No, my other self said: Just track it. <BR> <BR> And: While I didn't measur... Tue, 3 Jul 2012 17:08:01 EST Ack: Don't want to track! Got on the scale this morning and am UP 3 pounds. Grrrr!!! <BR> <BR> I got a little off my exercise this week because of the toe, but still got in a couple walks and a bike rides. I'm back "in gear" because I've figured out I can ride my bike for activity until my toe heals. <BR> <BR> Eating: <BR> <BR> I've been sneaking in a bit of bread...and that is NOT good for me! <BR> <BR> I know that this past spring when I went on a stringent diet of whole foods only -- no sugar, no salt, no... Sun, 1 Jul 2012 08:07:16 EST Still here...even though the blog slipped! The broken toe and the ticket took a little steam out of me. <BR> <BR> But: I am here! I am eating out of the garden and what could be better!? I did start in with some bread and a cookie today but I STOPPED. <BR> <BR> I rode my bike today for fitness...and it was very pleasant to pedal along the old railroad bed through the woods and along the lakes and ponds in Vermont. If any local Sparkers want to join me, 'twould be fun. <BR> <BR> I would like to go dancing tomorrow night, but ... Fri, 29 Jun 2012 21:07:43 EST Day 13 -- Slogging through Thanks to everyone who offered support on my travails of the weekend. <BR> <BR> I have a sinking feeling I might be needing to fight off a "getting sick" bug, too. I've started taking my herbs and potions and supplements so I can kick it. <BR> <BR> Ai yi yi. <BR> I had better go to the Thanksgiving Page and offer up some thanks so I can remember to be grateful that it is cold and rainy here...and not 104 degrees with 6% humidity and wildfires all around (as is happening in Colorado). <BR... Tue, 26 Jun 2012 10:56:55 EST Days 11 & 12: Funk continues...Traffic Summons & Broken Toe Shoo-wee. <BR> <BR> Drove down to my brother's wedding celebration...and came home with a whole bunch of angst about my financial a traffic summons and a broken toe. <BR> <BR> The traffic summons was for turning onto a street that had a "no-turning sign" posted on the main road (although no one-way sign or do-not-enter sign). I missed the sign, obviously, and for my troubles was issued a $75 summons. Ugh. <BR> <BR> Then -- and I must confess this -- on mission to get a p... Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:06:54 EST Day 10 -- Seeing the links... I'm in a big funk. <BR> <BR> I'm seeing the links and I don't like what I see! <BR> <BR> My cash flow situation is precarious. This is MY CHOICE ('cause I have choices...more on this shortly.) <BR> I have made the decision not to seek and take a full-time job. That means I am relying on term-to-term adjuncting jobs, along with whatever else I pull together including some trainings, facilitations, coaching mediation students, and research projects. <BR> <BR> I'm sure it all sounds dandy.... Fri, 22 Jun 2012 10:00:44 EST Day 9 Blah!! Ack! <BR> I think I got tired of salads... <BR> There's so much lettuce and so many greens in the garden that I was basically eating lots of greens with some protein.... <BR> <BR> and suddenly I was craving carbs, of course. <BR> <BR> So: I've made some poor choices and some okay choices over the last day, but I'm noticing that I'm kind of tired of just salad! <BR> <BR> So: I will make an effort to fix healthy food that is BEYOND salad. <BR> <BR> And: (Warning: Stop here if ... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 21:03:14 EST Day 8: The pleasure of stopping Yay! I'm in the 160s again. My goal is to weight between 160 and 165, which is at the top of my BMI range...soI'm close! <BR> <BR> I'm discovering that simply STOPPING is part of my path to success! I can eat a piece of cake and then STOP. I can eat a piece of pizza and then STOP. I can have a lifesaver and then STOP. I can have a bit of honey in my tea and STOP. <BR> <BR> In fact, I can even enjoy time between eating until I get hungry again. It's like breathing in and breathing out... Mon, 18 Jun 2012 21:28:25 EST Day 7 Getting a lot of veggies in...that is good! Mowed the lawn...and then played four hours of music with friends at a local farmer's market. <BR> <BR> Playing tunes and singing keeps my hands and mouth occupied with...things other than eating! <BR> <BR> I did not track today...but mostly ate veggies and proteins...although I ended up eating a piece of cake and having a glass of white wine...but had practically no other carbs except veggies. So not so bad. <BR> <BR> Was "paid" at the fa... Sun, 17 Jun 2012 21:18:05 EST Day 6 I'm going to count the fact that I *stopped* eating as a success, even though I went over my calories for the day. <BR> <BR> Here's another thing I need to remember: I suspect I would get along just fine on this pattern of eating: <BR> <BR> Light breakfast <BR> Very substantial lunch around 11 or 11:30 a.m. -- That's when I'm hungry!! <BR> Very light dinner <BR> <BR> The problem I ran into was that I didn't plan for a trip for an appointment... I ate a modest breakfast and thought I w... Sat, 16 Jun 2012 10:38:37 EST Day 5 The fact is that I am doing a fine job maintaining my weight. <BR> But not losing. <BR> Boredom eating, emotional eating, and night-time eating are the problem. <BR> I WANT to be in the 160s again!! <BR> <BR> Time to focus on other ways to meet my needs for stimulation and soothing. <BR> <BR> Stimulation: Very hot tea and/or very cold water. <BR> Soothing: A break and a quick brisk walk. <BR> Night-time: GO TO BED!! <BR> <BR> Love, Kathleen Thu, 14 Jun 2012 07:43:49 EST Days 3 & 4 Well... On Monday I had a not-so-good date. One of those dating site things (yes, all of you who know about that can have a sympathetic groan with me). <BR> <BR> Nice guy, but kind of socially inept, which takes a lot of energy. <BR> <BR> I blasted out of there and instead of going for another walk or something to burn off my steam...well, you know. <BR> <BR> And: The next day I did another dumb thing! I had a light breakfast 'cause I hadn't done so well the day before. THen I had a ... Wed, 13 Jun 2012 19:43:19 EST Day 2 A day filled with sunshine, water, friends, meaning, and music makes it pretty darn easy to stay on track. :) That was yesterday. <BR> <BR> Today has the challenge of "a date." From an online service...from out of town...that I am actually not all that excited about...and too busy for anyway. Why do I do this to myself? <BR> <BR> I'm sure I'll manage, in any case. But the important thing is: How to manage eating: Modest eating breakfast and lunch to make room for a slightly larger... Mon, 11 Jun 2012 08:56:08 EST Day 1 Why not start today? <BR> What not start this moment? <BR> Why not begin, whatever your state of mind, whatever your state of body? <BR> Why not start, no matter the stumbles of the past? <BR> <BR> I will! Sun, 10 Jun 2012 11:41:29 EST Softening into the present I found that the scale was up two pounds today. That is no surprise. <BR> <BR> One choice I could make about that is to feel even more rotten about myself and to vow to do better in the future. <BR> <BR> It sounds so logical. <BR> <BR> And yet, it isn’t. Here’s why I think that vow about the future might not be the right choice. <BR> <BR> This morning, I dropped in on a blog by “Be the change” and read the information she had posted about herself. She’d posted several quotes tha... Mon, 7 May 2012 11:48:33 EST Nature has no mercy I put out the word to my fellow and sister Sparkers asking what they do to get back on the wagon. I got two wonderful and provocative questions: <BR> <BR> "What's the worst that will happen if you don't get back on?" and "What's the best if you do?" <BR> <BR> I'll start with the worst: <BR> <BR> My old habits include binge eating, eating calorically dense food, and "conveniently" ignoring packaging labels on items that I know full well include hydrogenated fat, GMOs, and corn syrup, thre... Sun, 6 May 2012 15:11:59 EST What do you do? Calling all sparkers! What do you do when you have trouble getting back on the wagon? I'd love to hear all your strategies. <BR> <BR> Thank you! <BR> Kathleen Thu, 3 May 2012 19:15:57 EST Summer Party Re-Start Goal Good morning! <BR> I did not-so-bad getting through the winter and keeping my weight down...but then I had a bit of an emotional disturbance this spring and I let some of my bad habits creep back in. Yes, I still have a habit of using food to smother emotions. <BR> <BR> I'm going to focus on ME BEING HEALTHY! I have two two-month goal dates coming up -- One is a family wedding event on June 22, and the other is my dance/music camp on August 10. <BR> <BR> My goal is to lose 13 pounds by J... Sat, 21 Apr 2012 11:09:36 EST Feeling better already: End of year challenge I'm feeling better already....One full day of eating nothin' but healthy food and having a good long walk (3.88 miles). <BR> <BR> Here's my commitment to myself for this challenge (followed by obstacles and my plan to overcome them): <BR> <BR> * LOVE myself in all my beautiful imperfection!!!!!! <BR> * LOVE other people in all their beautiful imperfection!!!!! <BR> <BR> Oh, yeah, and then there's the food and activity part. :) <BR> <BR> * Check in with my end-of-year-challenge Spark te... Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:56:21 EST Beep beep beep ... Backing up Today is a new day and my choices about food and activity will be healthy! <BR> <BR> No time to write more....'cause I gotta get busy! :) <BR> <BR> Wed, 9 Nov 2011 09:26:12 EST Just noticing...and why that's important I'm just noticing this morning that the scale says I'm up two pounds. Well, damn, I say. <BR> <BR> On the other hand, maybe my reaction should be: Hmmm, that's interesting. <BR> <BR> Here's why I'm thinking that the second reaction might be more useful. <BR> <BR> There was a great article this morning on Spark People about taming the emotional eating beast. The gist of it was that emotional eating mostly has to do with anxiety (and boredom) and that we literally go into a different st... Sat, 24 Sep 2011 09:27:27 EST Keeping a good attitude...easier some days than others The good news is that I am at 162, which means that I am in the Healthy range for my BMI. Hooray! <BR> <BR> I'm grateful that my physical body is in good health! My back problems have all but disappeared and I have no real ailments -- something I am profoundly grateful for. Well...except for...head lice! <BR> <BR> I've got no experience with these little buggers (although the people who have kids tell me they're all too familiar with them). They're pretty damn persistent. I feel lik... Thu, 22 Sep 2011 08:20:24 EST Starting Over, Part II In Part I, I noticed what lead to overeating this winter – a lot of worry and fear. The worry and fear itself were not the cause of overeating. The cause is that I have a long-standing habit of responding to anxiety by overeating calorically dense foods. <BR> <BR> So far, so good. Observing a habit is a good start, but it does not change the behavior. I am 52 years old and have had this habit for a very long time (since I can remember). I have lost weight when I have been in group situ... Sat, 14 May 2011 14:59:52 EST Starting Over: Part 1 I’ve re-gained almost all the weight I lost. <BR> <BR> Here’s what happened. I maintained my weight -- with a few ups and downs -- from when I lost it in 2008. But this winter, I injured my back (a disk problem) and was flat for several weeks. That was not the issue, in itself. <BR> <BR> In fact, when I came back home (I was unable to do much besides lie in bed and so was cared for by friends) I was slimmer than before the injury. When you're depending on other people to feed you -... Sat, 7 May 2011 12:51:51 EST Slowly... I've been more active this week and it feels good. I'm remembering how much of a difference it makes in my outlook on the world -- I get a little more energized and start to see things as possible and interesting (rather than impossible and not worth doing). My yoga class starts again tomorrow after a two-week break. <BR> <BR> I'm going to be taking African dance class for another few weeks before the semester starts -- but then must find a substitute class and/or activity since I'm teac... Thu, 6 Jan 2011 18:16:13 EST Starting early to beat the crowds to New Year's Resolutions Damn it. I let myself ignore my body and my eating and not surprisingly, I have gained weight. I finally came to consciousness yesterday when I couldn't find a pair of pants to fit. That's a wake-up call. <BR> <BR> So: I am back. I am telling people that I am back. I am re-committing to staying conscious about what I eat -- and about making sure that I give my body the training and activity that it (I) need! <BR> <BR> I weighed 177 this morning. My upper arms are lumpy. My pants don't ... Thu, 30 Dec 2010 19:09:19 EST No fooling! It's official. I've been fooling myself. <BR> <BR> I've been thinking that I can eat without much restraint, eat things that are not very healthy, use food to damp down emotional states...and still either lose weight or remain stable. That is obviously not true. I am at 170 pounds, which is 12 pounds up from my lowest weight -- and 14 pounds away from my Spark starting weight in June 2009. <BR> <BR> Here's the dilemma: <BR> The truth is I don't WANT to restrict myself. <BR> And the trut... Mon, 25 Oct 2010 10:38:25 EST Things I do well & Things that do well for me! So many of my blogs are about things I was stumbling with...and while that's great to notice, today I want to take note of things I do WELL -- and also to note the circumstances in my life that work well for me. <BR> <BR> I've maintained myself in the healthy BMI range for a year now -- with slips sometimes into the lower reaches of "overweight." That means that I'm doing some things right! Here's what I've been doing: <BR> <BR> * I aim to make vegetables and fruits the bulk of my meals.... Sun, 5 Sep 2010 10:41:47 EST Action --> start, stumble, start again! I've been doing very well eating primarily from the garden -- greens of every kind galore! -- and yet I am also struggling with sugar and carb cravings that are HARD! I have given in a couple of times. <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Anyone who has any thoughts about "how to get off sugar," I'd be all ears. Last year, somehow, I was able to just...stop. <BR> <BR> I discovered that water increases your metabolism by nearly 30%. I'm having another glass this very moment! <BR> <BR> I got on th... Sun, 27 Jun 2010 15:23:55 EST Short Term Goals --> Action! I have a goal! Yahoo! I am going to lose these extra ten pounds in one month, by July 28. Specifically: Today’s weight is 172. I want to weigh 162 by July 28. <BR> Milestone goals: <BR> June 30 – 170 <BR> July 7 – 168 <BR> July 14 - 166 <BR> July 21 - 164 <BR> July 28 – 162 <BR> <BR> How I will do this: <BR> <BR> • I engage in at least 30 minutes of activity every day, whether that is dance class, walking/running, or yoga. Gardening is nice, but unless it involves an increased heart ra... Wed, 23 Jun 2010 08:59:48 EST Same old leads to same old / New thinking leads to new results Yes, it does. <BR> <BR> I am taking a page from Babyface (Ellen's) book: "Fall down seven times, get up eight." <BR> <BR> I've certainly fallen down -- at least seven times! But: <BR> <BR> I've made an appointment at the hypnotist to see if I can rid myself of the self-sabotage demons. I resisted getting on the scale (the way I have in the past -- 'cause I didn't want to know) but I get on (brave me!) and discovered that I had t officially jumped into "overweight" territory away from... Mon, 29 Mar 2010 13:44:46 EST A few random thoughts on turning the ship around I'm coming to understand that I make changes best by sneaking up on myself so I don't get alarmed. <BR> <BR> I'm doing this one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. <BR> <BR> I'm working on keeping my motivation high -- 'cause if that's gone, none of the other tricks or planning methods work. <BR> <BR> I'm allowing the rising spring green energy to inspire me. <BR> <BR> I'm remembering that my high-calorie efforts at soothing myself or giving myself some sensation lead ... Sat, 20 Mar 2010 14:27:08 EST No fooling Good morning, self. <BR> Time for a pep talk. <BR> <BR> Great job on losing the weight last year! <BR> I'm so proud of you. <BR> You really did it. <BR> <BR> And -- you've been a steady-eddy on your exercise program -- and have even amped it up and added some extra yoga this spring. <BR> <BR> You even got through this fall and winter -- the dark time of year -- and didn't gain *too* much weight. <BR> <BR> But still. The evidence is there. These last few weeks have been tough. You'r... Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:32:58 EST Wait? Why don't I notice the good stuff? I currently weigh almost 30 pounds less than my highest ever weight (29 pounds less, to be exact) -- and I weigh almost 20 pounds less (19 to be exact) less than when I started SparkPeople in June 2009. <BR> <BR> And although I'm up six pounds from my lowest weight ever, I am still hovering right around my my goal weight of 165. <BR> <BR> Plus -- All the while I was losing weight last summer and fall I blogged -- why? -- only about the times that I was doing poorly -- not the times I wa... Tue, 2 Mar 2010 09:04:10 EST If wishes were horses If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. <BR> <BR> A wish won't get me very far in the downward direction. <BR> <BR> I am now at the upper limit (from the wrong direction) of my healthy BMI. <BR> <BR> What's it going to take for me to shift gears -- in a sustained way? <BR> <BR> Why I want to stay in healthy BMI range: <BR> <BR> * Clothes fit. <BR> * Not having to strategize about hiding belly, thighs, upper arms. <BR> * Easier to walk around. <BR> * I am not invisible. <BR> * I enjoy ... Thu, 25 Feb 2010 09:29:10 EST Thoughts on Spring Challenge and heading toward true maintenance after I lose these 8 pounds! I’m going to turn 51 this spring, and I am very grateful to have been told about Spark People and to have been able to find the support here to lose the weight I wanted to! <BR> <BR> I'm now participating in Norlana's Spring Challenge! <BR> <BR> I met my original goal (from 184 to 165, which is just at the top of my healthy BMI range). I continued losing and landed at 158, which is where I was pretty comfortable. Before I started Spark, I had been as high as 194…and since I am 5'8 1/2"... Sun, 21 Feb 2010 11:49:53 EST What did YOU do? This is a request to learn more from people who went off the wagon in self-destructive ways and found a way back to healthier, saner ways of eating, exercising, and being. <BR> <BR> What was it like? What did you do? How did you shift? <BR> <BR> Not looking for advice. I'm looking to hear more about the experience you had... <BR> Thank you! <BR> Be well. <BR> <BR> Thu, 4 Feb 2010 07:33:47 EST News Flash: Overeating Leads to Weight Gain All the rest of the Spark world knows that overeating leads to weight gain, but it seems I simply had to experience it for myself. <BR> <BR> I allowed myself to fall back into my old habit of eating more calorically dense food -- and voila! -- as if by magic, I gained weight. :) <BR> <BR> So: That was a great little experiment, but since I LIKE my size 10 pants...which are feeling a tad snug...I have a better idea. <BR> <BR> I will increase my water (I'm loving ginger tea this time of ... Thu, 28 Jan 2010 09:42:11 EST