DJHARLEYQ's SparkPeople Blog DJHARLEYQ's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Doing something I should have done 20 years ago Fort Worth Police Academy Here I Come! Well I haven't been accepted into the academy yet but I plan to apply. Can you guess what careers I chose on career day? Police Department, FBI, and Fire Department. Why am I not a Police Officer, Federal Agent, or Fire Fighter right now. I listened to other people and let it control my life. <BR> <BR> I was chunky when I was 17. I wasn't that fat though. In my mind though, I felt huge. Even though I aced my First Aid Course. Even though I aced my mart... Mon, 13 Apr 2015 12:32:33 EST 4 points is not enough for Diabetes About January of this year, I found out that I was a 12 on the Diabetic scale. The clinic doctor was talking about putting me on Metaformin for my blood sugar. I thought I could do it on my own by cutting out carbohydrates and adding more protein. Going from a 12 to a 8 was just not enough. My blood sugar fluctuates between 124 and 170 on a daily basis depending on what I eat. <BR> <BR> It's time to get it under control with my eating Novolog and Lantis. I've been lucky. It's been about a w... Tue, 17 Mar 2015 10:21:37 EST I will be anti-high Sweets, anti-high sodium, and anti-high acidic in 2016 We have entered 2015. I am in more pain than I have ever been. My body hurts all the time because I just carry to much weight on my body. My muscles are screaming for relief. I am in emotional pain because I can not lift myself off the floor unless I get some help. For someone who's spirit is independent, I'm really emotionally embarrassed. I have no one to blame but myself for getting this way. I did not demand that our family purchase healthier food items. I did not demand of myself that I ... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 10:19:14 EST It's time to pull an Graham Elliot I have to face it. I've been very lacking on my exercise program. I'm surrounded by food. I will be surrounded by food for the rest of my life. I have co-workers that are constantly snacking at work. Since I work at a shelter, the kitchen staff is throwing snacks at us all the time. Unfortunately, they are not fresh vegetables, fresh fruits, and fresh proteans. <BR> <BR> For my second job, I'm a food blogger. I'm creating a website of all the restaurants around the world. This will include ... Wed, 3 Sep 2014 06:59:10 EST Need small healthy snacks When I have too many things to focus on. I tend to not focus on the foods that I'm putting in my mouth. This is especially true since I work the 3rd shift at work. I find myself snacking all night long. I need to find some small healthy snacks that I can munch on every three hours. <BR> <BR> I think one of the reasons that I gained all this weight in the first place is because my body was thinking that it was starving. Being homeless and in the lower income bracket, I wasn't giving my body t... Sun, 10 Aug 2014 17:23:14 EST Surprise and frustration at hospital Well this Wednesday I went into the hospital to have a D&C. The doctor wants to make sure that I do not have Cancer of the Uterus. Plus she want to make sure that anything left over is cleaned out. I was surprise to find out that the hospital actually had a gown that fit me. It's really nice to not have to squeeze my large body into a one size fit all hospital gown. <BR> <BR> Now the frustration and anger at myself. I went into Pre-Op at 1pm in the afternoon. I spent 7 hours sitting on an un... Sat, 9 Aug 2014 20:38:31 EST Learning to like and dislike foods again <em>521</em> <BR> Lately I have been really taking a look at what I eat during the day. I've been looking at it not in a calorie, fat, carb, and sugar sense. It is almost as if I'm a child again. I'm learning to like new foods. I'm also learning which foods I dislike. <BR> <BR> Let's take the potato chip, tortilla chip, and any chip. I've realized that I actually don't like lay potato chips and Doritos. If I want something that is crisp and salty, I'm more than likely to buy a healthy cr... Sun, 20 Jul 2014 12:27:16 EST Going through the junk food withdraws I didn't really think that people could go through junk food withdraws. I was experiencing these temptations a lot last night. I hope that I don't have to go through a night like that again. I really hope that I begin craving things that are healthy for me. I'd really like to start craving fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. <BR> <BR> The fried chicken, salty chips, Chinese food, and burgers were calling to me. Thankfully I didn't give into the cravings. I was successful in not putting tho... Fri, 18 Jul 2014 08:34:56 EST If I had know it would lead to precancerous cells If I had know that obesity would lead to precancerous cells. I would have avoided every junk food, fried food, sugary food, and processed food in the world. My gluttony on all of these foods has caused acute cells to grow on my uterus. Now I have to go into the office each month to take a test. We are constantly keeping an eye on it to make sure that the cells don't turn to Cancer. <BR> <BR> My doctor informed me that since estrogen is stored in fat cells, this could have been one of the re... Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:10:39 EST Can't win on tracking food It just seems like I can't win when it comes to tracking my food. I'm either 500 calories too low on my calories or I'm too high with carbs, fat, and protean. I would just like to figure out the balance of eating so that I can get the 1800 calories a day and stay within my other limits. <BR> <BR> I know that calories, carbs, fat, and protean is important. I mean why would be tracking them if they were not important. I'm just wondering which is the most important at the moment. Since I'm tryi... Tue, 1 Jul 2014 10:33:39 EST Jeans and Thermals! My new goal is to be able to buy Jeans and Thermals before winter. I know that I'm going to need them for the cold Texas winters. I better think about getting a pair of work shoes that work well on ice too. You see I work in a job where I have to walk around campus. We have three main buildings. I believe soon to be four main buildings by December. So that's going to be a lot of time out in the elements and walking on ice. <BR> <BR> It's now almost July. That should give me about five months... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 10:58:52 EST I got the job! I'm so bad at updating my blog. It has been four months since I wrote about the possibility of a job. Not only did I get the job but now I'm working 30 hours a week on my feet. I'm really proud of myself since a year ago, I could barely walk a mile without having to stop for a rest. I remember those days of constantly apologizing to my husband about my size and lack of drive. Of course he said that I never had to apologize and to keep on trying. <BR> <BR> I'm really hoping to stay at the she... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 10:51:07 EST Hope my body can handle the job There is a rumor going around that someone is looking at my resume for a housekeeping job. It will be 20 hours on my feet during the week. I'm currently doing 12 hours a week of volunteering. My job is to sort and bag clothing for residence at the shelter. There are times that I can sit down for a couple of minutes. <BR> <BR> I don't know if that will be the case here. Will they see my body too slow for the job since it's a job that requires a lot of walking. There are some security officer... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 15:46:24 EST The Holidays were not successful Today was my monthly weigh in and I must say that the holidays were not a success. I gain 10 pounds over the holidays. Of course I'm not happy about it. What did I expect? <BR> <BR> I'm not walking as much as I use to. I have had to cut 17 miles a week down to 12 miles a week. That is something that I have to change. I thought that working 12 hours a week doing a stock persons job would have taken care of the lack of walking <BR> <BR> I have had dessert every night for the past month. Of c... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 13:57:13 EST Seeing success even while homeless It's really hard to eat healthy when a person is homeless. I really appreciate that there are organizations out there that will provide meals. The only thing is that it's horrible for someone who is pre diabetic or diabetic. It seems that the world is filled with carbohydrates. <BR> <BR> The good news is that I am seeing success in my weight loss. I'm now able to walk two miles a day. Of course it's a very slow two miles but it's still two miles. The fat flaps on my triceps are getting small... Fri, 16 Aug 2013 12:14:24 EST TY for thoughts and stay positive I want to thank everyone for their thoughts. When I am able to get on sparkpeople, everyone is in my thoughts too. I pray that you are reaching the goals that you want to reach and that doors are opening to you for a better life. <BR> <BR> Today I am reminded to stay positive and why it is so important to stay positive. While being homeless, it is really easy to fall into the trap of hopelessness and non-positive thinking. We all have stress to deal with but it's more difficult when a person... Tue, 4 Dec 2012 14:08:47 EST Homeless but still hard at work I can't believe how difficult it is to be homeless and try to eat healthy as a diabetic. I can understand the donations of food because carbohydrates fill people up and most of the time they are easy to store. The are the one food that also last the longest in storage. <BR> <BR> Trying to get some exercise and eating healthy just takes a lot more planning and saying "No" to food that are just not healthy for me. I'm grateful the food that I do get at night. I just wish there more vegetables... Sun, 2 Dec 2012 14:10:43 EST In Texas and ready to go It seems that the Texas air has put a little more pep into my step. People are telling me to wait till summer comes. I was raised in California so Im really not use to really high heats and buggies that bite. Im sure that I will learn to deal with it. <BR> <BR> The past couple of days have been some major up and downs. The job that was promised to my husband really wasnt promised as I have found out. I really dont like when my husband fluffs things up just to make me feel at peace. So we are... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 09:23:51 EST First week of measurements I'm really not expecting much of a change in one week but anything help right. Doing Aerobic activity is difficult for me but I still try to get some in. Right now I'm just trying to focus on building muscle so that I burn more calories. <BR> <BR> Neck 20.25 <BR> Bust 56 <BR> Bra size F <BR> Ribs 55 <BR> Lft Bicep 24 <BR> Rt Bicep 24 <BR> Lft Arm 15.25 <BR> Right Arm 15.25 <BR> Waist 62 <BR> Hips 74 <BR> Lft Thigh 32.25 <BR> Rt Thigh 32.25 <BR> Lt Calf 23.5 <BR> Rt Calf 23.5 <BR> ... Wed, 17 Oct 2012 19:00:15 EST Actually looking forward to Portland now Yesterday I wasn't to hot about moving to Portland Oregon. Deep inside I thought that people were going to be people and be very judgmental. I just realized that this is my sub-conscience projecting what may happen or may not happen at all. What if they say stupid things, it's not like I can't ignore them and surround myself with supportive people. <BR> <BR> There are a lot of good things to look forward to in Portland. Even though it rains most of the time, I know that I will be outside mor... Tue, 9 Oct 2012 02:45:47 EST First set of measurements Since I decided that I'm not going to step on a scale for any reason, unless a doctor makes me, that I would track my success by inches loss. I have no problem being 300 pounds of muscle as long as I take up less room. <BR> <BR> I have a feeling that I did lose many inches during this time but any change is good change. Here are my previous measurements: <BR> <BR> Neck 20.5 <BR> Bust 57 <BR> Bra size F <BR> Ribs 55 <BR> Lft Bicep 25.25 <BR> Rt Bicep 25.25 <BR> Lft Arm 15.75 <BR> Righ... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 16:18:39 EST It's been a rough week I don't know if I have said this before but my husband and I are moving to Portland Oregon. He's all excited about the trip and I am not. Yes, it's going to be a new start but there are things that I'm not looking forward to. <BR> <BR> Facing new people. I have to admit for the past five years I have been able to hide out in the apartment and not really face society. I haven't had to deal with people judging me because of my size. I haven't had to face the rude comments. On the down side of ... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 00:21:11 EST I think I may be allergic to gluten. It seems that every day I'm having problems with bloating and upset stomach. It only seemed to happen when I ate certain foods. I know that I have an intolerance to milk products and wondered if it was the same with gluten. <BR> <BR> Then I read the symptoms. Bloating, Diayucky, weight gain, possible diabetes, nerve tingling or numbness. What a scary thought that food even if eaten in healthy portions can kill a person. I think I should also head to the doctor and see what other foods I migh... Tue, 2 Oct 2012 18:47:48 EST Get out is moving in I have to admit that for a while I was saying "Why even try? I try and nothing works out for me." Things were not going right in life and I turned to food to deal with it. It's something that I'm trying to work with. To not use food to deal with my stress and emotion. <BR> <BR> I really had to give myself a big push though. I had to remind myself why I was doing this. Ultimately the weight loss is to spend more time with my best friend and my husband. We have been together for almost ten ye... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 05:28:02 EST I haven't disappeared o.k. maybe a little of me Not much to write about as of late, just going through the motion of watching what I eat, staying away from the treats that my husband brings home, and trying new recipes that Chef Meg puts out. I would like to more active but I do what my body will let me. <BR> <BR> I say a little of me has disappeared because 2 inches are gone. I'm happy to have any inches off of me but these are from important parts of my body. You know the parts that they use to calculate our body mass index. Sadly my b... Sun, 17 Jun 2012 22:19:58 EST All of those days All of those days and I could have been doing something. My husband and I moved into this apartment almost five years ago. Since then I have been trying to work online, work from home, play pc games, and do movie reviews. I almost feel like it's been five years wasted. <BR> <BR> Thinking back, I could have done something so much sooner. The thing is that I usually sit my my husbands side while watching television. We are pretty much stuck to the couch from 6pm till 10 pm at night. I could ha... Thu, 31 May 2012 17:39:26 EST Stay on course but expect curves One of the keys of weight loss is staying on course. The key is to plan your meals when you can and make sure that you do some activity during the day. Just a basic concept. <BR> <BR> We all know that life is not the straight and narrow. So we have to expect curves that pop up in our plans. It could be a week of no weight loss. It could be an injury. It could be a stressful financial moment in life where your unable to buy the things that are healthier to eat. <BR> <BR> Modification is no... Mon, 28 May 2012 13:58:28 EST The table of food on The Biggest Loser I know that the television show has been on for 13 seasons but I just watched my first two episode of The Biggest Loser. In the first episode the revealed a table of all the food that a contestant ate during the week. <BR> <BR> If I was on the show there would be half a large pizza, Sweet and sour pork, fried rice, little debbie snacks, a large vat of hot chocolate. I know that it's a visual shock to the contestants and someone actually went up and ate a doughnut. <BR> <BR> What my first r... Sun, 27 May 2012 02:21:46 EST I never thought it would come to this! I've been extremely stressed out financially this week. Last Friday I found out that my husband got laid off. So we are stressing out financially because we don't have money for food. We barely have money for rent. That means depending on the food banks for groceries and sometimes they are not the greatest choices. A person makes do with what they can right. <BR> <BR> I never thought my weight would cause me to be forced into bed rest but here I am with a new weight loss program and a prescr... Sun, 27 May 2012 02:03:45 EST Why the excessive activity I had a family member ask me why I worked out three hours a day. She thought that it was obsessive and compulsive. It doesn't seem obsessive to me. I mean if the people on Biggest Loser can do it then why can't I. <BR> <BR> Why do I work out constantly? <BR> It's better than doing something none productive like watching television. <BR> <BR> I'm tired of living in pain. I would rather have aches and pains from being active then being in constant pain from not being active. <BR> <BR> I want... Fri, 11 May 2012 16:40:52 EST To be able to wear bracelets again I just read BeccaJ98 blog post about how a lady gave her two gems to add to her bracelet. I started to think about the bracelets that I use to wear when I was younger and thinner. I miss wearing jewelry because it doesn't fit and I don't want to buy extensions to make it fit. <BR> <BR> Just another great reason to get this weight off. I'm looking forward to putting my wedding band back on. I'm looking forward to buying bracelets to wear on my wrists. I really hope that I'll be able to find p... Thu, 10 May 2012 11:39:51 EST Frothy Friday Friday was full of different topics. So I decided to call this Friday..Frothy Friday. Let's see I have so much to remember, where should I start first. If you want to skim, Ill make sure that I put titles on each. <BR> <BR> My back <BR> A couple of days ago, I was standing at the kitchen after working out and I swore that I had pulled my back out of whack. It was one of those pains where both sides of your ribs kill you to even stand up. <BR> <BR> I thought it was because of the exercise b... Sat, 5 May 2012 12:58:39 EST The cruise is planned My husband and I have decided where we want to go for the cruise celebration of my goal weight. It's a place where I don't have to show an ounce of flesh if I don't want to. We plan on taking a trip to Oregon and then Alaska. <BR> <BR> The hook is that hubby would like to renew our vows then. Which means looking good in a wedding dress. Another goal that I plan on looking forward to achieving. <BR> <BR> I have no idea on how we are going to bring everyone together. I have no idea on where... Fri, 4 May 2012 12:18:02 EST It counts and not getting wrapped up in numbers Weight loss is not a numbers game for me. I say this because this morning I found myself wondering how many calories I would burn walking in place. Am I burning enough calories to put a dent in my weight each week. <BR> <BR> Then I thought "Who cares! I'm being active!" I'm not going to get wrapped up in the numbers. Yes there are some numbers that I have to keep track of like sugars and carbs because of diabetes. I want to keep track of measurements because my ultimate goal is to take up l... Wed, 2 May 2012 13:36:50 EST Wasted time turned into wanting to help others. I thought I would take some time from being active to play some games on the computer. Of course my mind was screaming at me in the back of my head that I should be up being active and that the games were not productive at all. I've found that I no longer like the games that I play on facebook anymore. The task of doing things and creating buildings is just not fun anymore. Even if these game companies offer money at times as prizes. I don't think that anything can place the money I could pos... Tue, 1 May 2012 18:58:34 EST Being more out in the open If you have read my blog posts before then you know that I have an issue with people. Due to past experience I'm worried about what people are going to say and any confrontation that may just come from dealing with people in general. I don't think I'm afraid of dealing with confrontation, I think I'm afraid of what my response will be. That I will not know how to handle it. Something that I will have to begin to work on. <BR> <BR> I did take a step in the right direction today. I walked down... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:27:30 EST I think my body and mind is craving activity I hate to seem like a bum but I'm pretty much stuck at home at the moment. I'm surprised that my body can do more than what I thought that it could. The plan of taking things minute by minute when it comes to activity is working. <BR> <BR> All day today I was telling myself things such as: <BR> I don't want to blog because it doesn't make as much money as a job does. The more active I am the closer I come to bringing in a second income for my family. That's an extra 1 - 21K a year that we c... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:05:36 EST What a horrible unhealthy dream Have I become such a food tyrant in just a few days that it is affecting my dreams? This morning I woke up asking myself "What is the use?" due to a dream that I had the night before. <BR> <BR> The dream was about people ruining my eating plan. I had certain meals plan out and I only bought groceries for those meals. People living in the commune that I was living in had just gone into the frig and eaten things that I purchased, hence my meal plans were ruined. <BR> <BR> I have a feeling th... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:10:49 EST I've been hiding I just realized that I have always been hiding. Just recently my husband suggested that we go out and see a movie. I plainly told him that I'm just not ready to deal with the public. What was I really afraid of? <BR> <BR> I'm afraid of what people will say. I've had kids come up to me and comment. I've had adults say things. I've even had some old Asian man come up to me and squeeze my arm like a piece of fruit. The major thing is my own voices. The negative voices in my head that have been ... Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:25:33 EST Freaking for nothing I want to thank everyone for the suggestion. Thankfully I made a major accounting error and found that we had plenty left over to buy groceries. Then someone at my husbands work donated to pig legs to us. Can you believe it, two full pick hawks and legs. I personally don't like to eat a lot of pork but that brings me to my second topic. <BR> <BR> One of the major things that I have to get over is thinking that I'm not making progress if I don't have certain things on my dinner plate to be he... Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:58:28 EST Minute by minute... If you have joined the latest Spark Boot Camp then you know that we are suppose to start it some time next week. It officially begins tomorrow so I thought I would give myself a test run and do some heavy cleaning, surely that can count for a cardio workout. <BR> <BR> I was able to last 3 minutes before my back started to give me pain. So I slowed down and pushed myself a little further and made it till five minutes. Then my back started clinching up and I needed to stop in fear that I woul... Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:47:45 EST I almost gave up today I almost gave up on myself today. I was looking at my financials today and they are not looking good. My mentality was why would I even want to try when all I can afford for my family is $12 this next week for groceries. What am I going to feed my family on 12 dollars for two people. <BR> <BR> That was the type of mentality that got me in this health condition in the first place. That is the type of mentality that got my family in this financial situation on the first place. So it won't be ... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 17:03:00 EST So I joined the Official Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge Yup, I joined the the Spring Into Shape Bootcamp Challenge. I have to admit that I have my doubts that I'm not going to be able to do the things that are set out for me to do but I guess that's why they call it a challenge. It's going to be a personal and physical challenge for me. Thankfully, I have nothing in my life that will get in my way, other than losing my apartment to stop me. <BR> <BR> At first I thought I would join because it would be nice to win some prizes. I can think of sever... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 13:00:31 EST I will never wear stretchy pants again I know that I'm not at the point right now here I can say that I will never wear stretchy pants again. Actually the only thing that I can fit into is stretchy skirts and pants. <BR> <BR> I'm making the statement now that when I'm not PMS, you will never see me in a pair of stretchy pants ever again. I like jeans, I could live in jeans, and I'm not talking about those denim stretch waistband type of jeans I'm talking Levis, Wrangler, and Diesel. <BR> <BR> All my life I have either had to we... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 16:51:00 EST Why is this different? Every year I start a new weight loss program. Every time I tend to slip off the weight loss program. I think since childhood, I have been programmed to think that this is something about all or nothing. Your either 100% successful at something or you don't even bother with it. It's a strange short sighted way of thinking. <BR> <BR> Maybe now it's because I've hit the big 40. I've had a lot of time to think. I hope to have 40 more years with my handsome and yummy husband. There is a lot that ... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:29:56 EST Along came the cold I was all ready to jump into my new health program. A cold came along and knocked me on my behind. Of course with battling Diabetes, healing from colds and the flu seem to take a little bit longer. <BR> <BR> I'm just hoping that I'll be ready to go in about two more days. I know that if we had a pool, I would be in it doing laps by now. I may take a light walk later today just to get outside and into some fresh air. Well if you can call it fresh air because we live a couple blocks from the a... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:55:47 EST Are those the right calories? I want to be able to lose three pounds a week. Should I really be eating 2000 calories? It just seems a little high to me. I would think that I would be put on something like 1800 calories. <BR> <BR> O.K. so here's the deal. I'll try 2000 calories a day for a couple of weeks and see how my body responds to it. If the measuring tape, scale, and body do not respond in a positive way then I'll seek advice and do one of two things. <BR> <BR> I'll either drop my calories some more or I'll be mo... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:20:14 EST Starting fresh I now have back spasms that make it difficult to even stand for five minutes. It's not because of some injury. Yes, I have been in a couple of car accidents and walked away from them without a scratch but the pain is because of the weight that I carry. <BR> <BR> Today I'm starting fresh. I don't know how active I can be because the pain gives me limited mobility. I'm just not going down without a fight though. I use to never be this inactive. I always had to be up doing something but at the ... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:15:28 EST Feeling a little funky Due to the fact that I'm so large, I don't work. Actually I don't have the ability to do much of anything. When I do exercise and put out a lot of effort, I end up having to take a shower, take asprin, and then sleep until my husband comes home from work. <BR> <BR> The sad thing is that this has been going on for five years. I have kept roughly $80K from my husband and I because of my actions. I have let fat take away things that I have wanted to do with my husband for too long. <BR> <BR> S... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 09:40:37 EST Out of my house Soda I see my body like a house. No Im not making a size joke. A houses beauty comes from what you put into and around it. That is why today I am saying "Out of my house Soda!" <BR> <BR> I woke up this morning realizing that I had slept a full seven hours without getting up and using the bathroom. I was not up at 2am and 3am in the morning to use the bathroom and disrupt my sleeping pattern. Why? It was the first night that I had switched from sugar free caffeinated soda to sugar free cool aid. ... Tue, 10 Jan 2012 09:28:54 EST