DISNEYDAMSEL1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DISNEYDAMSEL1 DISNEYDAMSEL1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Each Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6366872 For the people who may struggle with perfectionism: <BR> <BR> Today in my Positive Sticky Note pad, it says, "I need to stop trying to become perfect and just try to become better." -Sasha Cohen. and the personal affirmation states, " Each day I am getting better and better." <BR> <BR> I have struggled with perfectionism my whole life. I struggle with it to the point where it actually makes me unhappy because I set such unattainable standards for myself. Frankly it is exhausting. What is fu... Fri, 26 May 2017 11:07:06 EST Pay Attention! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6360947 A few weeks ago, I was bummed and a little whiny that no one apart from my husband had noticed any of my weight loss. I'm down 18 pounds, which has been a slow process because my activity is extremely limited due to my leg surgery. I mean for two of the months this year I was completely non-weight bearing and immobile, so losing 18 pounds in 4 months when half of that time I was literally a couch potato is huge to me, yet no one has noticed. I keep with it because I'm doing this for me, but s... Fri, 12 May 2017 08:56:31 EST My Visual Jars! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6360535 I kept seeing these visual aid ideas for weight loss on pinterest. I wanted to make some, but I really wanted to avoid focusing on numbers. I have let myself be defined so long by the number on the scale or the size of my jeans. I kept pondering how to make it work for me. One of my biggest struggles is the way I treat myself, so part of my personal journey is to stop looking for perfection, stop looking at the numbers, and focus on me. I need to reprogram my thoughts, which is why the visual... Thu, 11 May 2017 09:14:50 EST small steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6358051 So here's the thing... I only lost 1 pound last month, but when i stop and thing about it... I LOST 1 POUND LAST MONTH!!! <BR> <BR> Okay here's why that is 100% awesomeness. I had a bad month. I wasn't really logging consistently. I ate god only knows how many jelly beans. I was horrible with meal planning, so there was a lot of going out to eat. To top it all off, my family came in for a visit. Even with all of that I LOST ONE POUND! <BR> <BR> I went to my monthly weigh in mentally prepare... Fri, 5 May 2017 13:08:33 EST 5 Pounds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6341675 This month I lost 5 pounds! That makes 17 pounds since my pre- ankle surgery physical. Weighing in monthly seems to be super helpful for me. I can ignore the numbers and focus on my eating. My mobility has been steadily increasing post surgery. I'm also wearing my fitbit once more. Another 10 pounds and I'm back to where i was last year. This program I'm doing with my Dr. seems to be the best thing I've ever tried. <em>104</em> <em>104</em> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I am super excited... Fri, 31 Mar 2017 10:07:16 EST Learning to Walk Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6336383 I took some time off to get some surgery. Well to be truthful, I fell off the wagon in October when I learned surgery was no longer avoidable. I had so many other things to worry about. Not that my weight isn't a worry, but when a doctor tells you to plan to be immobile for 2 months starting in December your mind fills with all of the things that will be impacted. So here's how it all went down. <BR> <BR> First thing. I got to buy myself that new couch for my post-surgical comfort. The old ... Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:05:53 EST The good, The Bad, and the Painful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6220298 So I've been back on spark since July 24th. I'm down 3.5 pounds since then! I'm super excited about that. That is the good. Focusing on me and my emotional status through my journal entries seems to be working. I am fighting trying to be perfect and just trying to be me. I've been meal planning regularly. Meal planning and cooking the meal prep has been a true game changer. I told Rob that is something I have to do for me. Saturday I plan for the next week, make a grocery list, go to the farm... Thu, 18 Aug 2016 11:37:29 EST Checking back in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6216123 So if you read my previous blog, you'll know more of where I'm at, but here's the shortest version. I've struggled with negative self talk for years. I also am focusing on just logging my food and journal entries. The goal is to focus on the person behind the numbers, not the numbers themselves. I get a sticker in my journal for each day i logged my food. <BR> <BR> Here's where I'm at: <BR> -I am on a 19 day streak of logging into spark people. <BR> -I've only missed two journal entries <BR... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 11:12:09 EST So much learning all at once http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6207492 I've had so many ups and downs these last few months. One of my friends pulled me aside in January and gave me some sound advice. I was making myself miserable worrying about what I'd look like on my wedding day that I wasn't enjoying it. I decided to stop worrying about it. I took the batteries out of the scale. I quit menu planning and freaking out and I focused on enjoying the last few months leading up to my wedding looked pretty good on my wedding day and it was one of the best days of m... Wed, 27 Jul 2016 08:57:48 EST Post October http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6031384 My family came for another visit. I think I did better staying on track this go round. I over did it on Halloween candy, but that was just a couple of days in the big picture. I went to vegas and I walked over 30 miles in 3 days! I weighed myself before my parents trip and I haven't been on the scale since. I have no idea where I'm at, but regardless of what the numbers say, I know I'm on a good track and I'm in a happy place right now. A gym is opening near by and it will be 24 hours and I h... Fri, 13 Nov 2015 08:01:24 EST Finding a way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6017567 I went to the dr and she suggested to try South Beach. That was at the end of August. I finally got around to starting the South Beach phases ( I refuse to call it a diet) Phase 1 is a little two week phase that is fairly restricted. Then phase two you get to add in some of the other stuff back in like fruit and brown rice. The purpose is to deal with my insulin resistance. <BR> <BR> I haven't been perfect, but I've done pretty darn good. I've lost 4 pounds in a one week (the first 2 weeks ... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 12:38:31 EST OOoh... Family http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973617 So in efforts to realign for my wedding and get my healthy side going. I signed up for weight watchers. I'll see how it goes. I was doing pretty well and then... my dad came <BR> <BR> I"m trying to be patient, it's only been a day and he is here to put my new floors in, but my dad is one of the most unhealthy eaters on the planet. Yesterday he had donuts and coffee for breakfast, burger king for lunch, cheeze its for a snack, and he ordered Papa Johns for dinner to give you an idea of his di... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 10:07:37 EST From Engaged to Engaging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968755 So I turned 33 on July 22nd and my fabulous boyfriend proposed and put a lovely ring on my finger and I couldn't be happier. This past weekend we set a date picked some venues, wrote some checks, and picked some colors. The date is June 26th and the colors are Yellow and Orange with poppies, daises, pinwheels and butterflies. Summer Love and Fun is the feeling we're going for. I know the colors aren't traditional but we wanted to be vibrant and festive. <BR> <BR> So now I've started toying ... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 16:40:03 EST Getting things together http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5943364 I've been kicking butt. Well not my butt, but my life's butt. <BR> <BR> I got completely thrown for a loop in May when I lost my grandpa. There are days the grief feels like it may kill me too, but I'm slowly getting back together. My friend's brother committed suicide, and my parents dog was stolen. It has been some rough waters to navigate. The dog was finally found, luckily. It was the most amazing thing and frankly it was the good news my family desperately needed. <BR> <BR> We are pa... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 08:52:42 EST Working through it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938352 I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago. I went home for my friends wedding to be the best bridesmaid I could be. The day after the wedding the plan was to drive to Missouri to spend a few days with my beloved grandparents. The wedding was Sunday. Monday morning the plan was to pack the car and zip on down the interstate to St. Louis. When I woke up Monday morning full of joy from the wedding the day before and excitement to see my grandparents after my first week in Wisconsin in almost 2 ye... Tue, 2 Jun 2015 08:49:46 EST Being Loud and Proud http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5893231 Since I got my spark booty back on the healthy bandwagon, I am proud to report that I have officially lost 10.2 pounds overall!!! So naturally I ordered a new pair of shoes for myself that I've been wanting for awhile! Hooray new shoes. Bravo for me. <BR> <BR> My other losses include: 1/2" in my waist, 1/2" in my hips, 1 1/4" in my thigh, and 1/4" in my upper arm! <BR> <BR> I'm walking my first 5k at the end of April. I may jog a little. I'm not in it to win it, I'm in to finish it! <BR> ... Sun, 15 Mar 2015 09:24:28 EST Learning about myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882566 I've had a lot going on the last couple of weeks. Some good, some not as good, and some down right stressful. <BR> <BR> Valentine's weekend I learned that if I don't have planned meals and healthy stuff pre-planned and prepped I go for chips and whatever I can find. I learned cake and I will always have a struggle of wills and sometimes it is okay for cake to win just not always. <BR> <BR> I had a metabolic test done and I learned I have a slower metabolic rate. I've cut my calories to thei... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:06:05 EST The Importance of Planning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879529 I made my first 30 day goal and it was super exciting. Then on my second set of 30 days, I missed day 10, and I had to start it over. I learned so much this past weekend.... <BR> <BR> I have had the worst, and I mean worst two weeks at work February started awful. I took a several days off starting the 13th and I returned this Thursday. <BR> <BR> I fell apart spark wise on some levels. I forgot to log in. I forgot to track. Friday I slept so much because work had me so stressed out all I w... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 17:23:49 EST slim down challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5875014 My 30 day each goals seem to be working. <BR> <BR> According to my slim down challenge that we're doing at work. In the last month I've lost 5.6 pounds from my initial weigh in! <BR> <BR> Other positives: <BR> I did a boot camp class. I pushed through an entire class. <BR> I wore a pair of pants this week that were a bit snug when I ordered them online. I didn't return them because they were just a bit snug. I wore them they fit perfectly. <BR> I'm on a 9 day streak of 10,000 steps and ... Fri, 13 Feb 2015 09:59:08 EST 1 step at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5869314 So today is the day. Day 30!!! So what does day 30 mean? It was the goal I set 30 days ago to log into spark people everyday for 30 days. Don't forget because it is Saturday, don't get to wrapped up in my office to forget to log on. I didn't have goals of being perfect, tracking every bite, or drinking all of the water. Some days I did great other days I just logged in and let my fitbit sync my steps, but i was there. I was present and accounted for. That was my goal and I did it! <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 10:44:43 EST Starting Small http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5863678 Well, we're almost a month into 2015 and there's been some good and bad. My first goal of the year. Logging in to Spark people every day for 30 days. I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to track everything I don't have to drink the water I don't have to blog... you get the idea. 30 days of site usage at least once. I'm doing great with it. I haven't missed a day. Once I hit 30 days. I do it again until it becomes a habit. <BR> <BR> My fitbit flex and I seem to be a good match. I don't ... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:30:04 EST Following my light http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5847515 Goodbye 2014. What a rough and wonderful year you were. I need a moment of silence for the losses this year: Carmen Torrise, Uncle Nick Rictonsi, Jason Treadup, Cousin Linda, and Ryan Knight. Also Robin Williams, I loved him. Normally celebrity deaths don't hit me, but this one truly did. You all will be missed as the years continue without your presence, but thank you for sharing some of your time here on this planet with me. <BR> <BR> 2014 you ended with pain and difficulty that I will on... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 10:31:57 EST Getting it all out there http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816825 This blog shall be long ... you've been warned <BR> <BR> I feel like right now I'm not sure where to begin, so I'm just going to type until I feel better. Since my last blog, I've had some crazy times. I took a week off of work for a real vacation. We spent a few days at the ocean and I spent a few days at home. It made me feel better in general and I was quite content. I went to work for a couple of days, flew to TX to visit my grandparents. Grandpa is 89 and was just put in a nursing home.... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 15:39:05 EST Just call me a super Ball http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5764762 Just call me a Super Ball because I'm bouncing back with a mighty force! <BR> <BR> Okay so if you follow my blogs, you'll know I've had some stuff going on. I went on travel for work, my dad came, my birthday came, and there's more but those are some highlights. So what happened to me. I tried to stay focused and for awhile I did, but I just kept inching my way out of focus until I got so blurry I didn't know what was happening. Well when I finally had the nerve to jump back on the scale, I... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:19:26 EST I won't let situations get the best of me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740723 I have learned that I let my situations dictate much of my life versus myself controlling what I can control. It's been a learning experience this summer. I mentioned it in a status that I was learning something awhile back and that is what I am learning. I'm learning that I let situations boss me around. Now I'm not so naive that I think I can control every situation and take everyday by the horns and completely change it's outcome, but I do let myself feel almost like a victim of circumstan... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:00:30 EST Summer Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734642 SO I went on my first work trip and came home. I feel like the two weeks away, while enjoyable and fun I haven't quite returned to my stride yet. I did better. I simplified. I made a double batch of sloppy Joe when I got home because I knew meal planning wouldn't get done due to unpacking, laundry, the holiday, and now the trip to WV this weekend for his family reunion. So I've been eating a lot of sloppy Joe. I made it with 96% lean beef and extra veggies and I've been living off of that for... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 14:30:04 EST First Work Trip http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724233 I was sent on my first work trip. I have to say, I like traveling on company money. I'm racking up hotel points and airline miles, but man I've been here an official 8 days now. I'm drinking water like a crazy person staying hydrated in Florida and I've been trying to eat healthy, but this eating out all of the time is getting to me. In attempts to counteract this I've been hitting the pool and the fitness room. I find it is a delicate balance. I originally planned on working all day and work... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:15:44 EST sustaining isn't losing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706109 so I've been doing great at breaking even. I'm still struggling with my weekends and my meal planning. I had a mini case of the blues that didn't help. <BR> <BR> so now I'm focusing on not giving up. I ordered my indoor bike trainer so now I can cycle indoors. I think I was getting a bit bored with my health walker so it will be nice to have something else to mix into the rotation. <BR> <BR> I got two of my small credit cards paid off and I'm chipping away at the others. <BR> <BR> I gai... Thu, 29 May 2014 14:17:10 EST How about a blog? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690607 I just felt like blogging. <BR> <BR> My negative self talk is greatly improving, I won't share how much money is in my insult jar, but it is helping me be aware of how quick to put myself down I was getting or had gotten, but again it's getting better so Hooray. <BR> <BR> I think I'm slowly getting to a better place in my life in general. Yeah I've had some ups and downs. The loss of my friend is still there, but I'm coping. Overall I think things are improving. I knew I was getting stress... Thu, 8 May 2014 13:52:51 EST Listening is important http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685139 So last night, I tried to push through the blahs and exhaustion to work out. I really did. I had the yoga pants on. I had the tennis shoes tied. I'd even given myself a pep talk for the drive home thru the pouring rain and flash flooding. (It took almost 40 minutes to do my usual 15 minute commute). I was cold, wet, and tired, but I hopped on my health walker ready to work out and feel better. I still felt awful. Normally once I get changed and into my workout gear and hop on the machine, I c... Thu, 1 May 2014 16:57:45 EST Need to dig in my heels http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5684195 I feel a backslide starting, so I need to dig in and resist the urge to take a break. <BR> <BR> This week has been really rough at the office. Fighting, drama, flooding, leaks, and you name we've had it this week and it is only Wednesday! I'm emotionally worn out. Monday I usually workout cause I'm home that day, but this week I had to work and it was the only other night my BF and I are home together this week, so I thought no worries, I'll bump it to Tuesday. Well Tuesday was cold rainy, I... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 16:49:16 EST Keep Moving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682248 So there was a memorial service for my friend on Saturday. I got through it. <BR> <BR> I am slowly bouncing back from the loss. There were some days in there I did some emotional eating and I'll admit it and I'm okay with it. I think emotional eating over serious losses is justified. I need to break the habit of emotional eating out of stress and boredom, which I've made great strides in that area, however I think certain circumstances it's acceptable. Saturday after the service my BF and I... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 09:58:34 EST One day at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5673692 With the loss of my friend and co-worker yesterday, the world kept turning, but it doesn't feel the same. <BR> <BR> CJT was a marine who was effected by the contaminated water at Camp Lejeune. He fought the cancer for a full year until it finally took him on April 15, 2014. He is survived by his wife, his 10 year old daughter, and numerous people who cared about him deeply. He was a strong, brave man who never took things too seriously. <BR> <BR> He loved mules, music, played the banjo an... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 15:25:49 EST Pray http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672666 Please pray for my friend and his family. He is losing his cancer battle. Hospice is involved. <BR> <BR> That is all I can say at the moment. We're down to hope and prayer. The doctors have said, there's nothing more they can do. <BR> <BR> ****************************************<BR>**************************************** <BR> Update: <BR> My friend lost his battle to cancer this morning. The world just lost one of the strongest and funniest people I have ever known. Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:21:29 EST Thank You Netflix Demon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5669692 So last night, I had convinced myself I was too tired to do my workout. I'm only scheduling 3 workouts a week, I'd already done 2, yes I'd told myself on Sunday that was the bonus workout that week but I still had to do my 3, as schedule on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Yet I had convinced myself I'll just workout Friday and Saturday and it would be fine. <BR> <BR> I had decided I'd spend the night watching netflix while I printed out recipes and did some meal planning. I wasn't feeling th... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 09:32:30 EST So... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664449 My last blog got to be a little (or a lot) sad and kind of a downer. It wasn't originally meant to be, but once I started typing, I let the thoughts form and unfortunately that is where they led me. I guess overall it is evolving as a person and freeing of the mind. I'm not sure and frankly it does not truly matter. What does matter is that I am aware of the issue and I am making the needed changes to encourage that evolving to continue. <BR> <BR> In my case, I can drink the water everyday ... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 16:17:37 EST I felt like Blogging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662809 Today's a great day. The sun is literally shining and it's Wednesday. <BR> <BR> I learned a lot from my last blog. It is an interesting experience to be consciously learning something. It's like I am on a cusp of something amazing, but I am aware of it unlike most times when I realize a lesson had been absorbed only through the magical hindsight ability. I'm aware of some sort of slow metamorphosis transpiring inside of my brain and in my very soul. It's eerily cool. I'm not sure what it is... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 16:44:39 EST I must be doin' something Right http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5657198 This blog is being written as an attempt to stop a downward spiral of negativity that is currently whirl winding inside of me at this exact moment. <BR> <BR> As I sit on the verge of tears in my tiny cubicle I force myself to remember, that I'm being too hard on myself and am making a conscious decision to think about what I'm doing right in general. <BR> <BR> The phrase "I suck at life" is somehow playing on loop and I know that it isn't true, but for some reason it pops into my head the ... Wed, 26 Mar 2014 17:01:29 EST Eye opening http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5655214 Well this morning taught me a very valuable lesson. I'm an idiot, but in a good way (yes it is possible) <BR> <BR> I really had a busy weekend. A fun weekend. A great weekend. An exhausting indulgent weekend. Thursday was Ladies night at a paint your own pottery store, Friday ( i treated myself to a day off) went party shopping and then to a minor league basketball game and concert. I got to meet Chuck wicks! Then Saturday was baking and cooking for my Frozen Premiere party. I kept track of... Mon, 24 Mar 2014 09:54:49 EST Owning up and keeping On http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5651733 I fell off the weight loss band wagon hard this week. My biggest issues were the following: <BR> <BR> meal planning/cooking Vs. Eating out <BR> Getting my water in <BR> missed a work out <BR> <BR> Here's what I'm doing about it: <BR> 1) Tonight I'm working out <BR> 2) I'm focused on drinking the water <BR> 3) I'm going to stop beating myself up for a bad weekend. <BR> <BR> I've been under a lot of stress so I took the easy way this week/weekend. I'm not saying it's okay, but it happens in... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 16:17:40 EST This week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5647042 How do I even begin to describe how I feel this week. I am not sure I can, but I will put forth the effort because perhaps it shall help me sort it out as I type. <BR> <BR> My friend was removed from the study. He was given two options, surgery or quit fighting his cancer and ride it out till the end of the path. He opted to take the surgery. His surgery went well and he's in recovery, but I'd be lying if I said the hope I've been clinging to in the most desperate of fashions, wasn't dimmed ... Thu, 13 Mar 2014 14:24:00 EST Each day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5634337 With each day that passes, it brings the study that much closer. My friend with Cancer is holding on so far and for that I'm exceptionally thankful and this study is quickly becoming a desperate hope and I'm so hopeful it will save him. Thank you for the thoughts and prayers and I will continue to keep people updated. <BR> <BR> The jeans I'm wearing today and I have a long history. They were once my fat jeans, then they were my best fit jeans, then they were my tight jeans, then they were m... Wed, 26 Feb 2014 12:04:21 EST Things are always surprising. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5628493 I actually gained a little back, but I've lost waistline and hip line and all of those other measurements, so I'm guessing that 1.5 pounds is a mixture of muscle and water weight that will most likely balance out next weigh in. I was upset with myself, but I kept pushing forward. <BR> <BR> Then what happens? Today someone noticed that there's a little less of me. Someone who didn't know I was trying to change my lifestyle. ( I keep my support circle quite small) I think it helps to have a fe... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 16:10:23 EST Winding down the Week: http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5611375 So I got a little blog happy last week and as you can read I was a busy girl with a lot of highs and lows. Overall I've been doing better. I was getting ill when I attempted to work out. My nutritionist has me eating more calories. I wasn't eating enough to burn basically and was making myself a little dizzy. I wasn't hungry before though so I thought it was fine as long as i stayed around my 1300 calories, but I was burning which made my body fall below 1200 and hence I was getting sick. We... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 16:52:38 EST Rebuilding from the Ground up http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604510 So I spent last weekend really pushing myself. I got a lot of my home back in order and it majorly reduced my stress level to the point I felt balanced back out. One of the positives is the BF could tell I was much calmer and relaxed this week. So now that I'm back in balance I am in a better place as a person. <BR> <BR> This week I gave myself a nightly task and then allowed some time to unwind before I had to go to bed. It was a much better week. Originally I was going to spend this eveni... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 15:10:03 EST I'm scared, I'm afraid, I'm excited.... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5603497 I'm anxious! That's the word I'm looking for I knew I'd find it eventually. <BR> <BR> I've done it. I've reached out for help. I've gotten someone to hold me accountable and I'm so excited and relieved, but I'm also very scared. I'm such a quiet private person it's intimidating. <BR> <BR> It's the accountability I've needed. It's the support I've needed, so why would/should I be nervous. Well I am and it is for a couple of reasons. <BR> 1) I'm going to have to discuss my health and weight ... Thu, 23 Jan 2014 15:01:48 EST Getting my House in order http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5602295 I've been trying to get my house in order and my schedule. I was so overwhelmed by everything that needed done and working out I would end up just sitting on the couch playing video games to escape the issues, this obviously resolved NOTHING. <BR> <BR> I made a very long to do list and got a lot of things done this weekend including some fun stuff. The fitness room is set up. The tables have been unburied. The closets have been organized and the list goes on. <BR> <BR> Tonight's goal: Tidy... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 12:00:53 EST Roadblock http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5596845 I'm my own road block. Did you know? I didn't either. It wasn't easy to admit. In fact, I still haven't entirely accepted it. I've blamed schedules, being tired, the holidays, cat sitting, etc. It's a lot harder to blame myself, and I don't like the word blame. I am a human trying to change and it is hard. <BR> <BR> The truth of the matter is those are excuses and frankly, not very good ones because at the root of them I had the ability to say, "No cookie I shall not be eating you today." an... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 10:25:39 EST Listen to the pants! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5558426 I'm wearing my trusty ol' black work pants. they were getting tight a month ago. Now they're a comfortable fit once more. Just when I was thinking yeah 10 pounds is great, but you can't tell on me though, my pants reminded me otherwise. It makes me feel better. It helps to see the progress and while I"m not having the best week, it's keeping me focused today to stay in my calorie range. I've returned from vacation, I've been sick all week and my boyfriend has been sick all week as well, so I ... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 13:56:48 EST Vacation Accomplished! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5555967 I left for Disney World and returned at the same weight! I consider that a victory. <BR> <BR> Now I'm trying to get back on track. However, I returned Sunday and the events that followed were not the Sparkiest of moments. My boyfriend wanted a do nothing day, and I kind of took it as a day to just chill at home, so he was talking about watching football and sitting around all day I took it as let him sleep in as long as he wants, watch his favorite teams, and then we could put up the tree b... Tue, 3 Dec 2013 12:41:21 EST