DISNEYDAMSEL1's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DISNEYDAMSEL1 DISNEYDAMSEL1's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ In Your Face Scale! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6415284 I struggle with the scale. I get very caught up in the numbers on an emotional level. I now weigh in at my Dr. office once a month. So it is the only number I take seriously. I still jump on my home scale Saturday morning just to see if I'm moving in the right direction, but I ignore the number for the most part. <BR> <BR> This month was hard. I went back to Wisconsin for a funeral. Between being with my family and burying my grandfather, the opening of football weekend, and seeing my frien... Tue, 26 Sep 2017 12:32:51 EST Just around the corner http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6405649 So my trip home is just around the corner. I'm both nervous and dreading it. <BR> <BR> I've reached a point of frustration with my progress. I've been averaging a pound a week for awhile. It's slow and steady. I've lost 32 pounds since November. April/May I hit a plateau and stalled for a bit, but other than that 6 week span it has pretty much been a pound a week on average. I lost 4 pounds in December during the holidays! I lost pounds after surgery when I was 100% bed ridden for 3 months!... Wed, 30 Aug 2017 07:46:09 EST Why Would I? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6400596 Here's what happened: <BR> <BR> Last night I was talking to my husband about how nervous I am about my monthly weigh in. For those who may not know, I am part of a weight loss clinic my doctor runs. I follow her diet guidelines (they vary slightly from the site's suggestions, but not by much) I avoid the scale and try to weigh in once every 4 weeks at her office. I've lost 29 pounds averaging a pound a week since I started with the exception of the month of April when I hit a plateau <BR> ... Wed, 16 Aug 2017 13:39:12 EST It still hurts http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6397402 My grandmother had 4 sons. She buried two of them when I was quite young. My grandmother is a strong person that I looked up to as a child, for a time. My grandmother plays favorites with her children. This has been stated by her aloud that she prefers my uncle over my father. I am not reading into her behavior. I am not assuming. I am repeating what she has told me aloud to my face. She has also told me she's never liked my mother and my parents never should have had children. Her favoritism... Tue, 8 Aug 2017 09:02:09 EST I've grown http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6395000 I'm trying to regain some ground after the time I've been having. For background information see my Blog <BR> <link>www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo<BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6394564 </link> <BR> <BR> Despite where I'm coming from emotionally, I've had some time to observe some of my changes in behavior and notice ways I've changed. <BR> <BR> Yesterday, my husband was off of work and I wasn't. I came home exhausted. He had done all of the laundry, vacuumed, and when he saw h... Wed, 2 Aug 2017 07:19:12 EST Coming out of the Dark http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6394564 I was in a bad place from a bout mid June until the end of July. When I say bad, I mean bad. I have issues with depression. I hadn't had a truly bad spell in a long time. I had a rough time when my grandfather passed, but that was grief. This was me being engulfed in black shadow of depression with lightening bolts of anxiety. I was on auto pilot at work. I crashed at home. Each day I battled, I clawed, I cried, and fought to get through it, I went to bed exhausted and woke up to fight the wa... Tue, 1 Aug 2017 08:10:53 EST One weekend http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6391778 I had a magical weekend. It was an amazing weekend. It was my birthday weekend and not just any birthday weekend, one of my best birthdays ever. It was fun filled and action packed and I have a lot to share. This weekend my husband and sister gave me the best weekend for my birthday and here is what happened. <BR> <BR> Friday night we went to a minor league baseball game. I kept going back and forth on what to eat to splurge or not to splurge. I'd come to the game with a lot of calories ava... Tue, 25 Jul 2017 08:25:51 EST Set back not Surrender http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6378668 I received some disappointing news yesterday. I have to get a second ankle surgery. This came as a horrible blow. I've been trying so hard to stay positive during every set back and every delay in my recovery and just to be told that the procedure won't last on it's own was devastating. <BR> <BR> I'm trying to put on a happy brave front, but I am so saddened by this news. I respect the doctor and I value his opinion. This is the go to guy in the area for this procedure. He's the doctor 5 ot... Fri, 23 Jun 2017 08:27:26 EST I Can Learn http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6375469 So I grew up in a meat and potatoes kind of house. Our veggie was usually a can of corn, peas, or green beans and that was what we ate. <BR> <BR> So I've had a lot of things to learn about nutrition and meals. I also had to learn to like veggies. I now eat cooked carrots, green beans fresh or frozen, just about every type of squash, all of the peppers, cooked onion, Parsnips, lettuce, spinach fresh or frozen, tomatoes, sweet potatoes (more of a starch but still) and I'm proud of that. <BR>... Thu, 15 Jun 2017 10:23:17 EST Make the most of it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6374524 I am going to share a story about me weekend. Due to some complications in my recovery from my leg surgery, I was sadly confined to bed all weekend. *tears* It was disappointing because it was my husband's first weekend off in a long time and my sister (trucker) was in the area. Not only was I confined to bed. I missed out on fun times. <BR> <BR> Here's how i managed to make the most of it. I obviously wasn't allowed to do much in terms of fitness. So I focused on water. I drank a lot of wa... Tue, 13 Jun 2017 08:03:54 EST I'm awesome http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6372440 Pardon the arrogant title, but I really need to declare that to the world today! <BR> <BR> Here's why. Yesterday my husband got some bad news, he was being passed over on a job that meant a lot to him. He really wanted pizza for dinner. Well I was torn between being supportive and sticking to my plan, as you know we can eat pizza, but it's costly. He wanted his favorite pizza which is of course thick crust with extra sauce, and none of it is spark friendly. He ordered me a grilled chicken wr... Thu, 8 Jun 2017 07:59:56 EST Balance http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6371547 I'm learning about balance after this weekend. I managed to stay on target Saturday, Sunday Monday over my weekend (I work 4 10 hours days to get three day weekends). I struggle with perfection as I mentioned previously. This weekend I really learned that it's okay to let things slide in the name of balance. I stress with keeping up with the house We have 3 furry babies and keeping up with the vacuuming and sweeping is a never ending chore. I also have a dust allergy so we have to keep up wit... Tue, 6 Jun 2017 08:03:15 EST Changing Perspectives http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6369075 I had a crazy eye opening moment today and I just had to share! <BR> <BR> So for those of you who don't know. I only weigh in monthly and my husband has hidden the scale somewhere in the house. I weigh in at my weight loss clinic in my doctors office. <BR> <BR> Here's what has happened in the last 24 hours... <BR> I had my weigh in yesterday. My husband always goes to my appointment with me as my support system. Then afterwards we go out to dinner, to MOM's Organics Grocery Store (my favo... Wed, 31 May 2017 14:00:26 EST Each Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6366872 For the people who may struggle with perfectionism: <BR> <BR> Today in my Positive Sticky Note pad, it says, "I need to stop trying to become perfect and just try to become better." -Sasha Cohen. and the personal affirmation states, " Each day I am getting better and better." <BR> <BR> I have struggled with perfectionism my whole life. I struggle with it to the point where it actually makes me unhappy because I set such unattainable standards for myself. Frankly it is exhausting. What is fu... Fri, 26 May 2017 11:07:06 EST Pay Attention! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6360947 A few weeks ago, I was bummed and a little whiny that no one apart from my husband had noticed any of my weight loss. I'm down 18 pounds, which has been a slow process because my activity is extremely limited due to my leg surgery. I mean for two of the months this year I was completely non-weight bearing and immobile, so losing 18 pounds in 4 months when half of that time I was literally a couch potato is huge to me, yet no one has noticed. I keep with it because I'm doing this for me, but s... Fri, 12 May 2017 08:56:31 EST My Visual Jars! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6360535 I kept seeing these visual aid ideas for weight loss on pinterest. I wanted to make some, but I really wanted to avoid focusing on numbers. I have let myself be defined so long by the number on the scale or the size of my jeans. I kept pondering how to make it work for me. One of my biggest struggles is the way I treat myself, so part of my personal journey is to stop looking for perfection, stop looking at the numbers, and focus on me. I need to reprogram my thoughts, which is why the visual... Thu, 11 May 2017 09:14:50 EST small steps http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6358051 So here's the thing... I only lost 1 pound last month, but when i stop and thing about it... I LOST 1 POUND LAST MONTH!!! <BR> <BR> Okay here's why that is 100% awesomeness. I had a bad month. I wasn't really logging consistently. I ate god only knows how many jelly beans. I was horrible with meal planning, so there was a lot of going out to eat. To top it all off, my family came in for a visit. Even with all of that I LOST ONE POUND! <BR> <BR> I went to my monthly weigh in mentally prepare... Fri, 5 May 2017 13:08:33 EST 5 Pounds http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6341675 This month I lost 5 pounds! That makes 17 pounds since my pre- ankle surgery physical. Weighing in monthly seems to be super helpful for me. I can ignore the numbers and focus on my eating. My mobility has been steadily increasing post surgery. I'm also wearing my fitbit once more. Another 10 pounds and I'm back to where i was last year. This program I'm doing with my Dr. seems to be the best thing I've ever tried. <em>104</em> <em>104</em> <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> I am super excited... Fri, 31 Mar 2017 10:07:16 EST Learning to Walk Again http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6336383 I took some time off to get some surgery. Well to be truthful, I fell off the wagon in October when I learned surgery was no longer avoidable. I had so many other things to worry about. Not that my weight isn't a worry, but when a doctor tells you to plan to be immobile for 2 months starting in December your mind fills with all of the things that will be impacted. So here's how it all went down. <BR> <BR> First thing. I got to buy myself that new couch for my post-surgical comfort. The old ... Tue, 21 Mar 2017 12:05:53 EST The good, The Bad, and the Painful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6220298 So I've been back on spark since July 24th. I'm down 3.5 pounds since then! I'm super excited about that. That is the good. Focusing on me and my emotional status through my journal entries seems to be working. I am fighting trying to be perfect and just trying to be me. I've been meal planning regularly. Meal planning and cooking the meal prep has been a true game changer. I told Rob that is something I have to do for me. Saturday I plan for the next week, make a grocery list, go to the farm... Thu, 18 Aug 2016 11:37:29 EST Checking back in http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6216123 So if you read my previous blog, you'll know more of where I'm at, but here's the shortest version. I've struggled with negative self talk for years. I also am focusing on just logging my food and journal entries. The goal is to focus on the person behind the numbers, not the numbers themselves. I get a sticker in my journal for each day i logged my food. <BR> <BR> Here's where I'm at: <BR> -I am on a 19 day streak of logging into spark people. <BR> -I've only missed two journal entries <BR... Thu, 11 Aug 2016 11:12:09 EST So much learning all at once http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6207492 I've had so many ups and downs these last few months. One of my friends pulled me aside in January and gave me some sound advice. I was making myself miserable worrying about what I'd look like on my wedding day that I wasn't enjoying it. I decided to stop worrying about it. I took the batteries out of the scale. I quit menu planning and freaking out and I focused on enjoying the last few months leading up to my wedding looked pretty good on my wedding day and it was one of the best days of m... Wed, 27 Jul 2016 08:57:48 EST Post October http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6031384 My family came for another visit. I think I did better staying on track this go round. I over did it on Halloween candy, but that was just a couple of days in the big picture. I went to vegas and I walked over 30 miles in 3 days! I weighed myself before my parents trip and I haven't been on the scale since. I have no idea where I'm at, but regardless of what the numbers say, I know I'm on a good track and I'm in a happy place right now. A gym is opening near by and it will be 24 hours and I h... Fri, 13 Nov 2015 08:01:24 EST Finding a way http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6017567 I went to the dr and she suggested to try South Beach. That was at the end of August. I finally got around to starting the South Beach phases ( I refuse to call it a diet) Phase 1 is a little two week phase that is fairly restricted. Then phase two you get to add in some of the other stuff back in like fruit and brown rice. The purpose is to deal with my insulin resistance. <BR> <BR> I haven't been perfect, but I've done pretty darn good. I've lost 4 pounds in a one week (the first 2 weeks ... Mon, 19 Oct 2015 12:38:31 EST OOoh... Family http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5973617 So in efforts to realign for my wedding and get my healthy side going. I signed up for weight watchers. I'll see how it goes. I was doing pretty well and then... my dad came <BR> <BR> I"m trying to be patient, it's only been a day and he is here to put my new floors in, but my dad is one of the most unhealthy eaters on the planet. Yesterday he had donuts and coffee for breakfast, burger king for lunch, cheeze its for a snack, and he ordered Papa Johns for dinner to give you an idea of his di... Fri, 7 Aug 2015 10:07:37 EST From Engaged to Engaging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968755 So I turned 33 on July 22nd and my fabulous boyfriend proposed and put a lovely ring on my finger and I couldn't be happier. This past weekend we set a date picked some venues, wrote some checks, and picked some colors. The date is June 26th and the colors are Yellow and Orange with poppies, daises, pinwheels and butterflies. Summer Love and Fun is the feeling we're going for. I know the colors aren't traditional but we wanted to be vibrant and festive. <BR> <BR> So now I've started toying ... Wed, 29 Jul 2015 16:40:03 EST Getting things together http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5943364 I've been kicking butt. Well not my butt, but my life's butt. <BR> <BR> I got completely thrown for a loop in May when I lost my grandpa. There are days the grief feels like it may kill me too, but I'm slowly getting back together. My friend's brother committed suicide, and my parents dog was stolen. It has been some rough waters to navigate. The dog was finally found, luckily. It was the most amazing thing and frankly it was the good news my family desperately needed. <BR> <BR> We are pa... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 08:52:42 EST Working through it http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5938352 I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago. I went home for my friends wedding to be the best bridesmaid I could be. The day after the wedding the plan was to drive to Missouri to spend a few days with my beloved grandparents. The wedding was Sunday. Monday morning the plan was to pack the car and zip on down the interstate to St. Louis. When I woke up Monday morning full of joy from the wedding the day before and excitement to see my grandparents after my first week in Wisconsin in almost 2 ye... Tue, 2 Jun 2015 08:49:46 EST Being Loud and Proud http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5893231 Since I got my spark booty back on the healthy bandwagon, I am proud to report that I have officially lost 10.2 pounds overall!!! So naturally I ordered a new pair of shoes for myself that I've been wanting for awhile! Hooray new shoes. Bravo for me. <BR> <BR> My other losses include: 1/2" in my waist, 1/2" in my hips, 1 1/4" in my thigh, and 1/4" in my upper arm! <BR> <BR> I'm walking my first 5k at the end of April. I may jog a little. I'm not in it to win it, I'm in to finish it! <BR> ... Sun, 15 Mar 2015 09:24:28 EST Learning about myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5882566 I've had a lot going on the last couple of weeks. Some good, some not as good, and some down right stressful. <BR> <BR> Valentine's weekend I learned that if I don't have planned meals and healthy stuff pre-planned and prepped I go for chips and whatever I can find. I learned cake and I will always have a struggle of wills and sometimes it is okay for cake to win just not always. <BR> <BR> I had a metabolic test done and I learned I have a slower metabolic rate. I've cut my calories to thei... Wed, 25 Feb 2015 15:06:05 EST The Importance of Planning http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5879529 I made my first 30 day goal and it was super exciting. Then on my second set of 30 days, I missed day 10, and I had to start it over. I learned so much this past weekend.... <BR> <BR> I have had the worst, and I mean worst two weeks at work February started awful. I took a several days off starting the 13th and I returned this Thursday. <BR> <BR> I fell apart spark wise on some levels. I forgot to log in. I forgot to track. Friday I slept so much because work had me so stressed out all I w... Fri, 20 Feb 2015 17:23:49 EST slim down challenge http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5875014 My 30 day each goals seem to be working. <BR> <BR> According to my slim down challenge that we're doing at work. In the last month I've lost 5.6 pounds from my initial weigh in! <BR> <BR> Other positives: <BR> I did a boot camp class. I pushed through an entire class. <BR> I wore a pair of pants this week that were a bit snug when I ordered them online. I didn't return them because they were just a bit snug. I wore them they fit perfectly. <BR> I'm on a 9 day streak of 10,000 steps and ... Fri, 13 Feb 2015 09:59:08 EST 1 step at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5869314 So today is the day. Day 30!!! So what does day 30 mean? It was the goal I set 30 days ago to log into spark people everyday for 30 days. Don't forget because it is Saturday, don't get to wrapped up in my office to forget to log on. I didn't have goals of being perfect, tracking every bite, or drinking all of the water. Some days I did great other days I just logged in and let my fitbit sync my steps, but i was there. I was present and accounted for. That was my goal and I did it! <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 4 Feb 2015 10:44:43 EST Starting Small http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5863678 Well, we're almost a month into 2015 and there's been some good and bad. My first goal of the year. Logging in to Spark people every day for 30 days. I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to track everything I don't have to drink the water I don't have to blog... you get the idea. 30 days of site usage at least once. I'm doing great with it. I haven't missed a day. Once I hit 30 days. I do it again until it becomes a habit. <BR> <BR> My fitbit flex and I seem to be a good match. I don't ... Tue, 27 Jan 2015 10:30:04 EST Following my light http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5847515 Goodbye 2014. What a rough and wonderful year you were. I need a moment of silence for the losses this year: Carmen Torrise, Uncle Nick Rictonsi, Jason Treadup, Cousin Linda, and Ryan Knight. Also Robin Williams, I loved him. Normally celebrity deaths don't hit me, but this one truly did. You all will be missed as the years continue without your presence, but thank you for sharing some of your time here on this planet with me. <BR> <BR> 2014 you ended with pain and difficulty that I will on... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 10:31:57 EST Getting it all out there http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5816825 This blog shall be long ... you've been warned <BR> <BR> I feel like right now I'm not sure where to begin, so I'm just going to type until I feel better. Since my last blog, I've had some crazy times. I took a week off of work for a real vacation. We spent a few days at the ocean and I spent a few days at home. It made me feel better in general and I was quite content. I went to work for a couple of days, flew to TX to visit my grandparents. Grandpa is 89 and was just put in a nursing home.... Fri, 14 Nov 2014 15:39:05 EST Just call me a super Ball http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5764762 Just call me a Super Ball because I'm bouncing back with a mighty force! <BR> <BR> Okay so if you follow my blogs, you'll know I've had some stuff going on. I went on travel for work, my dad came, my birthday came, and there's more but those are some highlights. So what happened to me. I tried to stay focused and for awhile I did, but I just kept inching my way out of focus until I got so blurry I didn't know what was happening. Well when I finally had the nerve to jump back on the scale, I... Fri, 22 Aug 2014 08:19:26 EST I won't let situations get the best of me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5740723 I have learned that I let my situations dictate much of my life versus myself controlling what I can control. It's been a learning experience this summer. I mentioned it in a status that I was learning something awhile back and that is what I am learning. I'm learning that I let situations boss me around. Now I'm not so naive that I think I can control every situation and take everyday by the horns and completely change it's outcome, but I do let myself feel almost like a victim of circumstan... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 11:00:30 EST Summer Update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734642 SO I went on my first work trip and came home. I feel like the two weeks away, while enjoyable and fun I haven't quite returned to my stride yet. I did better. I simplified. I made a double batch of sloppy Joe when I got home because I knew meal planning wouldn't get done due to unpacking, laundry, the holiday, and now the trip to WV this weekend for his family reunion. So I've been eating a lot of sloppy Joe. I made it with 96% lean beef and extra veggies and I've been living off of that for... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 14:30:04 EST First Work Trip http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5724233 I was sent on my first work trip. I have to say, I like traveling on company money. I'm racking up hotel points and airline miles, but man I've been here an official 8 days now. I'm drinking water like a crazy person staying hydrated in Florida and I've been trying to eat healthy, but this eating out all of the time is getting to me. In attempts to counteract this I've been hitting the pool and the fitness room. I find it is a delicate balance. I originally planned on working all day and work... Mon, 23 Jun 2014 15:15:44 EST sustaining isn't losing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5706109 so I've been doing great at breaking even. I'm still struggling with my weekends and my meal planning. I had a mini case of the blues that didn't help. <BR> <BR> so now I'm focusing on not giving up. I ordered my indoor bike trainer so now I can cycle indoors. I think I was getting a bit bored with my health walker so it will be nice to have something else to mix into the rotation. <BR> <BR> I got two of my small credit cards paid off and I'm chipping away at the others. <BR> <BR> I gai... Thu, 29 May 2014 14:17:10 EST How about a blog? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5690607 I just felt like blogging. <BR> <BR> My negative self talk is greatly improving, I won't share how much money is in my insult jar, but it is helping me be aware of how quick to put myself down I was getting or had gotten, but again it's getting better so Hooray. <BR> <BR> I think I'm slowly getting to a better place in my life in general. Yeah I've had some ups and downs. The loss of my friend is still there, but I'm coping. Overall I think things are improving. I knew I was getting stress... Thu, 8 May 2014 13:52:51 EST Listening is important http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5685139 So last night, I tried to push through the blahs and exhaustion to work out. I really did. I had the yoga pants on. I had the tennis shoes tied. I'd even given myself a pep talk for the drive home thru the pouring rain and flash flooding. (It took almost 40 minutes to do my usual 15 minute commute). I was cold, wet, and tired, but I hopped on my health walker ready to work out and feel better. I still felt awful. Normally once I get changed and into my workout gear and hop on the machine, I c... Thu, 1 May 2014 16:57:45 EST Need to dig in my heels http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5684195 I feel a backslide starting, so I need to dig in and resist the urge to take a break. <BR> <BR> This week has been really rough at the office. Fighting, drama, flooding, leaks, and you name we've had it this week and it is only Wednesday! I'm emotionally worn out. Monday I usually workout cause I'm home that day, but this week I had to work and it was the only other night my BF and I are home together this week, so I thought no worries, I'll bump it to Tuesday. Well Tuesday was cold rainy, I... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 16:49:16 EST Keep Moving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5682248 So there was a memorial service for my friend on Saturday. I got through it. <BR> <BR> I am slowly bouncing back from the loss. There were some days in there I did some emotional eating and I'll admit it and I'm okay with it. I think emotional eating over serious losses is justified. I need to break the habit of emotional eating out of stress and boredom, which I've made great strides in that area, however I think certain circumstances it's acceptable. Saturday after the service my BF and I... Mon, 28 Apr 2014 09:58:34 EST One day at a time http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5673692 With the loss of my friend and co-worker yesterday, the world kept turning, but it doesn't feel the same. <BR> <BR> CJT was a marine who was effected by the contaminated water at Camp Lejeune. He fought the cancer for a full year until it finally took him on April 15, 2014. He is survived by his wife, his 10 year old daughter, and numerous people who cared about him deeply. He was a strong, brave man who never took things too seriously. <BR> <BR> He loved mules, music, played the banjo an... Wed, 16 Apr 2014 15:25:49 EST Pray http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5672666 Please pray for my friend and his family. He is losing his cancer battle. Hospice is involved. <BR> <BR> That is all I can say at the moment. We're down to hope and prayer. The doctors have said, there's nothing more they can do. <BR> <BR> ****************************************<BR>**************************************** <BR> Update: <BR> My friend lost his battle to cancer this morning. The world just lost one of the strongest and funniest people I have ever known. Tue, 15 Apr 2014 09:21:29 EST Thank You Netflix Demon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5669692 So last night, I had convinced myself I was too tired to do my workout. I'm only scheduling 3 workouts a week, I'd already done 2, yes I'd told myself on Sunday that was the bonus workout that week but I still had to do my 3, as schedule on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Yet I had convinced myself I'll just workout Friday and Saturday and it would be fine. <BR> <BR> I had decided I'd spend the night watching netflix while I printed out recipes and did some meal planning. I wasn't feeling th... Fri, 11 Apr 2014 09:32:30 EST So... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5664449 My last blog got to be a little (or a lot) sad and kind of a downer. It wasn't originally meant to be, but once I started typing, I let the thoughts form and unfortunately that is where they led me. I guess overall it is evolving as a person and freeing of the mind. I'm not sure and frankly it does not truly matter. What does matter is that I am aware of the issue and I am making the needed changes to encourage that evolving to continue. <BR> <BR> In my case, I can drink the water everyday ... Fri, 4 Apr 2014 16:17:37 EST I felt like Blogging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5662809 Today's a great day. The sun is literally shining and it's Wednesday. <BR> <BR> I learned a lot from my last blog. It is an interesting experience to be consciously learning something. It's like I am on a cusp of something amazing, but I am aware of it unlike most times when I realize a lesson had been absorbed only through the magical hindsight ability. I'm aware of some sort of slow metamorphosis transpiring inside of my brain and in my very soul. It's eerily cool. I'm not sure what it is... Wed, 2 Apr 2014 16:44:39 EST