DIFROMWYOMING's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DIFROMWYOMING DIFROMWYOMING's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ New beginnings, mind game http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5968238 I'm learning a lot of this is about what's in my head. I know it ends up being about what's in my mouth- but it starts in my head. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/24bbc25c-9825-4915-ac6f-88f9be18ad1a.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I think I might have actually experienced real hunger in my pre-op days. I'm still getting 400-500 calories a day and late at night...I sometimes feel something that might be real hunger. I'm not sure I've felt that before. I'm also not sure what 'full... Tue, 28 Jul 2015 21:11:31 EST New beginning, believing it doesn't make it so. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5966058 This is how I've been feeling for the last hour: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/70d617fb-9741-4834-aa9f-25259c6df3b8.jpg"> <BR> <BR> And all because I'm comparing myself to others in their journey- and thinking mine is lacking in some way. It's easy for me to do this- I've done it my whole life. If I'm going to do something I want to be the STAR! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople.com/guid/a8efd937-7801-45f4-9c06-ded126fa7c4a.png"> <BR> <BR> I wa... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 15:44:10 EST New beginnings, emotional eating http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5964602 I had a little test for myself today. <BR> <BR> I had a particularly upsetting day at work- not work related but with 'family' members that are less than sensitive and really hurt my feelings. It goes back to feelings of not belonging that are deep rooted- and I'm working on those. <BR> <BR> But I knew the tears would come when I left for home- and come they did. Little buckets of tears. <BR> <BR> I did reach out to a friend and she asked how I was doing since I'm on this pre-op diet of ab... Tue, 21 Jul 2015 23:22:27 EST New beginnings, it's the "ME" show! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5963337 I tend to like to wear black a lot. The last few years I've made myself wear brighter tops- even prints! Why is this hard? <BR> <BR> I remember being right out of college, walking around downtown Seattle, and with the crowds it helped me feel 'invisible'. I loved that. No one knew me- I'd left all my friends behind in SoCal. And invisible was a good place for me. <BR> <BR> So I wore dark a lot. Black pants always. Even when I would wear a lighter top the bottoms were dark. Invisible. Harde... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 18:03:36 EST New beginnings, a new 'hard' http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5962959 I never wanted to have wls. It was never even on my radar. It seemed like an admission of defeat- like cheating maybe? I just know I wasn't there. <BR> <BR> Of course now that I have no real options (I do have one- death- but I choose to not go there), I have changed my thought process. I see this as a 'tool' just like every other tool I use. Food plans, exercise, motivational things, etc. <BR> <BR> This week I have been skipping breakfast for a protein shake. I did this for one reason- to ... Sat, 18 Jul 2015 22:42:56 EST New beginnings, new roads http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5959670 I didn't mean to delete the last blog I'd made. I suppose it's hard for me to be real honest here. <BR> <BR> When I wrote about my back injury and how I'd not likely walk any more- how my life had changed so much since I fell down our stairs December 2013...I had one person tell me they couldn't remain a friend because my journey had become so depressing. <BR> <BR> Well- I certainly think I should be a cautionary tale. If you think you can remain healthy with such an unhealthy body- it wi... Sun, 12 Jul 2015 17:36:10 EST Me-in the mirror http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5885124 We had an activity in my team this week to read an article and it made me remember when I was 19 years old- in college away from home- and ended up with my first therapist. I remember taking the bus out to see her and one exercise she had me do was to visualize "Di in the mirror" and it was the person I wanted to be- the one I wanted to become. I'm still not sure what the purpose of that was- but I knew clearly 'who' "Di in the mirror" was- she was all physical. At 19- I believed my body was ... Sun, 1 Mar 2015 22:16:07 EST Spark the Season Days 29, 30, 31 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5841350 Day 29: Warmth. <BR> <BR> I went with my DIL for a spa pedicure today- my first one. (I've had a pedicure but just once). It is sometimes hard for me to let people touch my legs/feet...I am so self conscious about how fat they are and I have lymphedema in one leg plus- the PMR makes my skin so sensitive to pain. But- I went. It was lovely- it was warm and cozy and felt great. Yes, it hurt a little but I think the massage was good for my legs anyway. And yes, I ended up with bruises in places... Tue, 30 Dec 2014 15:01:08 EST Spark the Season day 28 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5840058 Today: It's Cold Outside! <BR> <BR> Well it is cold- about 18 but we've had wind chills below zero. And just flurried- I stayed inside. <BR> For BevAnne: A photo of our little 'downtown' in the winter: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1245284905.jpg"> Sun, 28 Dec 2014 18:34:27 EST Spark the Season day 26 and 27 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5839593 Gift: Well, my family IS my gift to myself. <BR> <BR> I also give myself time to heal- time to rest- time to spark. And- time to relax and do something not work related which is genealogy or reading. I've finished 3 novels since being home for Christmas break! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/2/l522622795.jpg"> <BR> this is looking down my street- it's so pretty in the snow! <BR> <BR> Day 27: Favorite Holiday Food <BR> <BR> I don't really have one and honestly- I... Sat, 27 Dec 2014 23:01:00 EST Spark the Season day 24,25 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5838509 Day 24: family <BR> Day 25: gratitude <BR> <BR> Merry Christmas! <BR> <BR> My gratitude is that my family is all home- all together- and loving being together. <BR> My boys are all very close- they are 28, 26 and 24....and they are each others best friends. So when they can finally be together they are SO happy. <BR> <BR> The eldest is married now and they live in Chicago. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1801623311.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The middle child lives here and ... Thu, 25 Dec 2014 20:59:44 EST Spark the Season Days 22,23 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5837709 Been busy with family here! Trying to catch up. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1802079247.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Day 22: Shopping <BR> <BR> I don't love shopping most of the time but at Christmas it's quite pretty if we go into Salt Lake to the malls.... <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/5/l1586963737.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Day 23: Red <BR> <BR> Been hard to focus on anything since we are missing a person here. My youngest was supposed to be her... Tue, 23 Dec 2014 23:16:44 EST Spark the Season day 21 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836562 Comfy today. <BR> <BR> Well today was a day I wanted to be comfy. It has been raining ice all day- so it was a good day to stay indoors. <BR> <BR> My favorite Sunday is staying in my 'jammies' (I don't actually sleep in these I sleep in a gown but I love wearing them when I'm relaxing) <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1787413392.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I also have a fuzzy blanket I wrap up in and the last thing that helps me feel comfy: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-a... Sun, 21 Dec 2014 22:58:05 EST Spark the Season day 20 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5836063 Workout. Well, this one is challenging for me now as I am mostly in a wheelchair and can't stand. But when I get there my favorite workout would be the pool. The one at my PT place is warm so swimming is difficult but exercise is lovely! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/3/5/l351865939.jpg"> Sat, 20 Dec 2014 22:25:47 EST Spark the Season day 19 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5835592 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/9/l799874238.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Dinner: Wasn't very exciting tonight. Tired after a long week I made scrambled eggs with Jimmy Dean Turkey sausage. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1425869345.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Growing up we didn't really have much tradition. We ate at the table and usually talked politics but as I got older- I refused to eat with my parents (I know, I seem so sweet!) so...I took to eating alone in my... Fri, 19 Dec 2014 21:00:59 EST Spark the Season Day 18 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5835011 Well, it was bound to happen- needing to post on a day when I should be left alone. <BR> <BR> Goal for the Day #18: <BR> To not hurt anyone before I get home. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/4/l1407260450.jpg"> Thu, 18 Dec 2014 16:30:09 EST Spark the Season day 17 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834701 Lunch. <BR> <BR> Well, I eat it. It's usually leftovers from home. I really don't have a favorite. I like my husbands chile (sometimes with chicken) or mexi chicken with cheese. <BR> <BR> But my favorite lunch on the planet? Las Vegas- Mesa Grill- Bobby Flay's Blue Corn Tamale with Shrimp. Oh Em Gee......so good! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/2/l1282031016.jpg"> Thu, 18 Dec 2014 00:44:46 EST Spark the Season day 16 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5834142 Day 16- Decorations <BR> <BR> I love decorating for Christmas. Our tree has decorations that are 46 years old ( you can see them- they are little pinkish sugarplums of apples, pears and doves) My parents bought them when I was little and they were passed down to me long ago when my kids were little. You can see the little wooden trees...those each have photos of my boys when they were in kindergarten. Love it! <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1936180105.jpg"> <B... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 22:18:45 EST Spark the Season day 15 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5833652 Memories...light the corner of my mind....misty watercolor memories (everyone sing along!) <BR> <BR> Tough one for me - I have so many <BR> <BR> Tonight though I'm kind of missing those gone- and so I'm thinking of Jay's brother Tucker. I've known my husband and his brother since we were teens- I actually had a crush on Tucker first- he was a bad boy James Dean kind of teen and that was pretty appealing to a very inexperienced young girl. Course we didn't click- and it wasn't until years la... Tue, 16 Dec 2014 00:02:06 EST Spark the Season day 14 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5833122 Well it's still day 14 here but in Sparkworld I think it's day 15. No matter. <BR> <BR> Relaxation fell on the right day. Since I became disabled a year ago- I have taken Sunday hostage as my rest day. I do not get out of my jammies on Sundays. I rest- I relax- I watch old movies or football or do genealogy research- or I read. Whatever I find relaxing. <BR> <BR> Today I finished wrapping gifts and did some cleaning/organizing- but I did make sure I got lots of time with my feet up and my m... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 00:05:15 EST spark the season day 13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5832630 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/4/0/l401556433.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Day 13- Someone I love <BR> <BR> Well- I already said my husband is the best part of my day and- he is. <BR> <BR> I love so many people- friends here- my family of course. <BR> <BR> But some days the glue that holds me together no matter what are my 'sisters'- Dawn and Deb. <BR> <BR> I never had siblings growing up. Good friends but no siblings. And I've had people I felt close to- I have a sister in law I lo... Sat, 13 Dec 2014 23:59:42 EST Spark the Season day 12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5832119 Cookies. Well- this one kind of leaves me out. I have Celiac's and have for a long time so- no cookies for me! And the gluten free ones they make- too high in sugar and not worth my calories so- no cookies. Back when I was younger though- Snickerdoodles were my favorite. When my mom made them they were puffy like this- I never see them like this any more. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/8/l1801659663.jpg"> Fri, 12 Dec 2014 21:36:41 EST Spark the Season day 11 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831605 I've read several blogs today on this and most people apologize. I'm not. <BR> <BR> I love eggs...I eat them most days. Scrambled or hard boiled are my preference. <BR> <em>490</em> <BR> <BR> I used to eat oatmeal every day, until I was found to have Celiac's. Even "gluten free" oatmeal still made me sick. I just tried the new Chex Oatmeal and...we have a winner! But it's hard to find here. <BR> <BR> When I'm really in a hurry- I'll have this. And I'm not apologizing for it- we do what... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 21:27:22 EST Spark the Season day 10 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5831124 Home. <BR> <BR> When I was growing up I never had a 'home'. I suppose my grandma's house was home, we moved all the time. I went to 4 different schools in first grade alone. Sometimes we'd move in the middle of the night- sometimes I'd be picked up from school and off we'd go- leaving friends and things and even pets behind. <BR> <BR> We finally settled down when I was about 12- so the place I lived for 6 years until I graduated High School is the 'home' of my youth. I have fond memories of... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 00:04:45 EST Spark the Season Day 9 (late) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5830993 I spaced this last night- I'm no good at remembering to blog! <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Today: Snacks <BR> <BR> I wish I could say I snack healthy. I do try not to have potato chips or anything like that, though crunchy is my go-to snack choice. I do love watermelon in season but the carbs can be too high. So my current go-to snack is: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/8/5/l850314172.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Love the toasted coconut and the cinnamon the best! Wed, 10 Dec 2014 17:44:14 EST Spark the Season day 8 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829911 Am exhausted but will get this up tonight: Favorite Part of Winter: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2102659585.jpg"> <BR> <BR> My favorite part of winter is always watching the sun sparkle on the snow- it makes everything look like a magical land. Photo credit here is my DH. <BR> <BR> Mon, 8 Dec 2014 21:17:40 EST Spark the Season day 7 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5829326 This one is so easy it could write itself: Best Part of my Day: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l201868251.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Every day- this guy is the best part of my day. Even when I'm at work knowing I can walk in the door- he is always waiting for me and has a strange way of knowing the moment I'll drive up- and I'll get a nice relaxing hug and everything is okay again. No matter what. <BR> <BR> I don't have a photo of us hugging...but he gives the best hugs!... Sun, 7 Dec 2014 22:21:07 EST Spark the Season day 6 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828825 Spent today finishing up shopping in Utah. It's the first time I've made the trip down there in weeks so it was nice. We stocked up from Costco (for the kids all coming home) and finished up a few things. Now all I have left to do is the wrapping. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/8/l786557375.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I love wrapping, but sometimes get lazy about it as it all ends up in a big pile in the trash. In the past my cat Robin would 'help' me with the ribbon- she lo... Sat, 6 Dec 2014 22:02:33 EST Spark the Season Day 5 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5828341 Day 5: Homemade <BR> <BR> At first I had issues with this one as I was thinking crafty stuff, and I am not crafty. I do cross stitch sometimes but have been lazy about that for quite awhile. But then I realized I could count food! <BR> <BR> Tonight was my work Christmas party. DH went with me and so did my mom. They provide the main dish (prime rib) but everyone brings sides. We brought what we usually bring- curried green beans. <BR> <BR> It is one of my favorite things to eat- so yummy a... Fri, 5 Dec 2014 22:17:03 EST Spark the Season http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5827808 Okay well I'm not good at blogging regularly at all, but my friend Be-the-change and Dawnwaterwoman are doing this Spark the Season photo a day so...let's give it a shot. <BR> <BR> I'm behind 4 days so here are days 1 to 4: <BR> <BR> Day 1; Lights <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/1/l2127295104.jpg"> <BR> <BR> We visited the Waterford crystal factory during our last visit to ireland and I was so captivated by the lights reflecting off the crystal. It doesn't fit m... Thu, 4 Dec 2014 22:06:33 EST On being thankful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5823860 i woke up too early- the aches and pains of age and health making sleep uncomfortable. I wanted to sleep more- it's a home day, no work to rush off to, but between the pain and the thoughts floating through my head I couldn't sleep. <BR> <BR> Thanksgiving. I've had 56 of them now though I don't remember them all. But I remember a lot of them. Even with the small family we were (just 3 of us- Dad, Mom and me) , it was always a day to be celebrated. Sometimes with extended family or friends, ... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 12:17:18 EST Another one bites the dust... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5793515 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/0/l500933964.jpg"> <BR> <BR> In the midst of dealing with all my health issues of late- I let something slide: checking my blood sugars. <BR> <BR> My A1C's had always been 'good' or lastly, 'ok', and it was one more thing I didn't want to think about. <BR> <BR> Even when I started eating off plan 'a little' here or there. A little counts, by the way. It all counts. <BR> <BR> So it was somewhat of a surprise to me to feel so awful a week pa... Mon, 6 Oct 2014 16:06:26 EST Doing nothing is an option- but even nothing has consequences... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5782653 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/9/l796199487.jpg"> <BR> <BR> When life is overwhelming- I tend to want to do- nothing. No plan- no push- no nothing. I just keep thinking I can ride the wave out- come to solid ground. <BR> <BR> Have you stood on the beach when the ocean tide comes in? You stand still- but you can feel the sand and water moving you. It's very unsettling in a cool way. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/6/9/l697535043.jpg"> <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 18 Sep 2014 23:41:15 EST Choose to Live-a path appears http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5770688 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/3/l1303415335.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I've been waiting for almost a year now for a new door to open- one that would lead me to a more sturdy path under my feet. Health issues take their toll on a person- and I'm emotionally, financially, physically and all the other llys D.O.N.E. I've been building to this finale for months now- believing when the year came and all the 'ologists' were behind me, all the poking and prodding and testing behind me, tha... Sun, 31 Aug 2014 20:33:34 EST When Push comes to Shove http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5734700 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l1769015825.jpg"> <BR> <BR> I have always wondered why, for some of us, we manage to stop ourselves before we bottom out and others of us- well we ride that elevator all the way to the bottom? <BR> <BR> In the other areas of my life- I've worked hard to get off the elevator as soon as possible. Not so much with my food and weight. <BR> <BR> I occasionally let the door open and look around a bit- maybe even venture out and check things out ... Tue, 8 Jul 2014 16:11:58 EST Life in the fast lane http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5715268 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1031021876.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Do you ever have the feeling your standing very still and everything around you is moving way too fast? That's how my life has felt all this year so far. <BR> <BR> Too much going on. Too much to keep track of. Too much interruption. Too much traveling. Too much work expectations. Too much of ME most of the time (I'm very hard on myself). <BR> <BR> My April and May business trips were sort of a last straw. I came... Tue, 10 Jun 2014 21:21:26 EST When all the choices are poor ones http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5686805 I'm exhausted and probably shouldn't post anything in my state of tiredness and defeat but I'm posting anyway. Anyone who has been checking in knows I've almost been IN hotel rooms more than out of them since January. It's not as glamorous as it sounds. It's darn tiring. <BR> <BR> When I travel in state I plan ahead- take a cooler with "my" food in it- make sure I can manage breakfast in the room (boiled eggs, veggies, low carb options), sometimes I end up having these options for lunches an... Sat, 3 May 2014 23:42:58 EST A glass half full http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5678881 I'm still living out of suitcases. More suitcases- more wrinkled clothing. <BR> <BR> But, as tiring as it is, it's sort of like complaining that I have a great job, can travel and see new places, and have a family that is supportive of me doing this because it's my passion in life. Not much to complain about when you think about it. <BR> <BR> Progress: I am still doing my less than 20 carbs a day diet. I'm not perfect all the time. Last weekend we were in Salt Lake City for the weekend and ... Wed, 23 Apr 2014 17:51:37 EST Suitcases and progress http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5658884 I've been living out of a suitcase for two weeks. Both weeks for work, long weeks of travel and sitting in meetings. Very exhausting, but it's been a really good 2 weeks. I learned a lot at all my training- met some dear friends- learned I can travel AND lose weight- and found out a few things about myself. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/7/l176982620.jpg"> <BR> <BR> Week 1 I went to Pittsburgh. What a really lovely city it is. I had a great time visiting with Da... Fri, 28 Mar 2014 20:36:50 EST With a little help from my friends http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5643755 'Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song and I'll try not to sing out of key'.... <BR> <BR> It's been a tiring week. My energy is good, the carb flu is gone, I am not hungry and I am learning what to do to not over-do it and hurt myself. Progress. <BR> <BR> One thing about my new diet is I'm never hungry. Sometimes I don't even want to eat. And there have been a couple times when I ate because I just was used to eating and probably should have stopped. All meaning- I'm not perfect. But I... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 16:54:36 EST Ups and Downs http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5639035 New diet still coming along- been sick as a dog with it, I've decided my body is mad at me for depriving it of so much junk. I spent all day yesterday feeling like this: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/5/0/l504997196.jpg"> <BR> <BR> But I'm hanging in there. I have the most WONDERFUL spark friends- every comment- every goodie- they reinforce what a supportive and special place this can be. I'm very grateful and blessed. <BR> <BR> My Family Literacy ESL group knew ... Mon, 3 Mar 2014 22:35:45 EST When life gives you lemons http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5636465 Sometimes you can manage to plant it so it grows into a lovely tree: <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/0/l1078356145.jpg"> <BR> <BR> The diet my Dr. wants me on is going well. It's very low carb and so far- so good. I've had a headache for a couple days but everyone says that is normal and really- I have headaches all the time anyway. I wanted to wait and 'start it Monday'. I wasn't really ready and let's face it, I prefer to start dieting out a few days to give mys... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 22:28:07 EST Where do I begin? My cautionary tale. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5632897 To tell my story and where it's found me today? <BR> <BR> I have only told a few people here on sp but it's time to 'come out of the closet' I suppose about my health. <BR> <BR> I am not a complainer. My family motto is "we do not give into these things", and we don't. I have lived with pain and aches for years and said nothing. We are stalwart, we do not cringe. I have even told my Dr's that I don't necessarily 'believe' in all these 'new' issues because I figure my ancestors probably had... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 21:23:56 EST Why I love resolutions or Hogmany rules! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5578612 In Scotland they celebrate Hogmany and part of that is a resolution. Now, I've heard a lot about them this year- most people thinking they won't do them. I love them and here is why. <BR> <BR> When things look bleak- when things are not good (and in Scotland this happened a lot historically speaking) a resolution was a way, at the end of no matter what kind of year you had, of saying I believe it can be better. I believe I can be better. <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 21:40:02 EST November goals and update http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5531161 I haven't blogged in two months, and I'm hesitant to put goals out there when it's been a real struggle for me to even be present. I have felt like I'm riding the storm out for a couple months now. But a quick update is in order- and then to some reasonable goals: <BR> <BR> My health has taken all my energy for about 3 months now. I've felt awful for that long. I was not quite diagnosed but was told it looked like I might have lupus about 3 years ago. But things improved and I chose not to p... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 18:27:46 EST More on failure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5472719 I was talking to my mother about this issue yesterday- it was 42 years ago she put me on my first official 'diet' and I joined WW. She said I had been bugging her for awhile to join but they wouldn't let me until I turned 13. It made me feel sad for that 12 year old who was already unhappy with how she looked to the world. <BR> <BR> But she asked where this failure/perfection thing came from and without thinking I said it was probably because of all these years of dieting and having people '... Sun, 1 Sep 2013 15:53:24 EST Embracing failure http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5471282 Thanks to my spark friends and sisters- I've had a breakthrough. <BR> <BR> I am embracing failure. Accepting it- welcoming it- letting it have its own room. <BR> <BR> I have always had an 'all or nothing' personality and I was not going to accept nothing. So- all it was. I got an A or nothing. No room for failure- no margin for error. <BR> <BR> And my almost lifelong dieting has been just that. Try-fail-fail-try-fail-try-fail-try. <BR> <BR> I would be so frustrated and tired of this patte... Fri, 30 Aug 2013 22:47:42 EST Dark days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5463307 I noticed I hadn't blogged in a long while- and my last one was about embracing joy. <BR> What a difference a month can bring. <BR> <BR> This month has been one of sadness, health issues, loss, frustration, anger and hopelessness. I can't really pretend otherwise. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I can't see where I'm going. Sometimes where I think I'm going looks so bleak I can't look. <BR> <BR> Where do you put the next foot when you can't see the path? <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeo... Thu, 22 Aug 2013 17:18:42 EST Embracing joy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5436242 "In short, when we invest in women and girls, we are investing in the people who invest in everyone else." Melinda Gates <BR> <BR> When we were in Flagstaff this week, we met a Navajo woman who had just gotten off a long work day in the service sector- making minimum wage. Her ride had left her and she was short $1.10 in having bus money to get home. She only asked for money to go home- not a dime more. Even though we knew that it meant she would have nothing left- all she wanted was to be h... Sun, 28 Jul 2013 13:27:12 EST If it isn't really about numbers http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5421954 I tell myself all the time this journey I'm on cannot just be about numbers. <BR> <BR> Oh I know the numbers matter. I let them matter far too much, truth be told. But I know SOME of the numbers matter: <BR> <BR> my blood sugar levels <BR> blood pressure <BR> distance I can walk easily <BR> strength of my body <BR> days of my life <BR> <BR> I spend very little time fretting about those numbers, though. I give them passing thoughts, but the ones I obsess on are the ones on the scale- the ta... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 14:22:39 EST