DFROMTX's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=DFROMTX DFROMTX's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Help, please! Diet after cholecystectomy? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5751560 I am scheduled (in 4 days) for a laparoscopic cholecystectomy & am wondering if I need to adjust my diet afterwards. I plan to ask my doctor about this before surgery, but would like tips from any SP who have had this done. Any other problems after the gallbladder is removed? <BR> <BR> Thank you so much. <BR> <BR> Deanna <BR> dfromTX Sat, 2 Aug 2014 08:42:28 EST SWISHING http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5683062 <BR> > <BR> > <BR> > SWISHING! ! ! <BR> > <BR> > A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband's temper. <BR> > The Doctor asks: "What's the problem? <BR> > The woman says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems <BR> > to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." <BR> > The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swa... Tue, 29 Apr 2014 10:30:20 EST Please help!! Need to delete from nutrition page. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5637781 I entered the wrong amount on one of my lunch items. I don't know how to take it off. I could do it on the "old" nutrition page, but am stumped on this new page. <BR> <BR> Thanks in advance. <BR> <BR> Deanna Sun, 2 Mar 2014 15:09:08 EST OMG, my new scale sent me into shock! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5635483 I have been using an old "dial" scale ever since I started on SP. It never records right....you can get on & it would give one reading, & after getting off & on again it would register another reading. I bought a new digital scale a couple of days ago. The new scale says I weigh 8.4 lbs. more than the old one!! It seems to be closer to the doctor's scale so is probably right, but it sure did hurt to change my weight on my SP weight page. <BR> <em>40</em> <em>198</em> <em>30</em> ... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 18:15:18 EST NATIONAL DO A GROUCH A FAVOR DAY http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5625429 Do a Grouch a Favor Day is celebrated on February 16th of each year. A grouch is a person who is habitually grumpy or ill-tempered. The idea is to look bast the grumpiness and do them a favor anyway, even if that favor is only a smile. <BR> <BR> <em>234</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> <em>334</em> Sun, 16 Feb 2014 10:22:03 EST 'HOME SCHOOLED" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5617186 <BR> Most of us were HOME SCHOOLED in many ways. <BR> <BR> <BR> 1. My mother taught me TO <BR> APPRECIATE A JOB <BR> WELL DONE . <BR> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished <BR> cleaning." <BR> <BR> 2. My mother taught me <BR> RELIGION. <BR> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." <BR> <BR> 3. My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. <BR> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock <BR> you into the middle of next week!" <BR> <BR> 4. My father... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 18:40:35 EST THE BATHTUB TEST http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5612981 During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be insitut8ionalized. "Well," said the director, we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." <BR> "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "no," said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?" <BR> <BR>... Sun, 2 Feb 2014 11:44:37 EST "THAT IS WHY THE CONFESSIONAL IS PRIVATE" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5606857 <BR> Laughing Matters <BR> <BR> An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Klu Klux Klan. <BR> <BR> This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. <BR> <BR> Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family. <BR> <BR> No one moved. <BR> <BR> The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve ... Mon, 27 Jan 2014 07:26:03 EST Speeding Victim http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5601531 A police officer in a small town stopped a motoring who was speeding down Main Street. <BR> "But officer! " the man began "I can explain." <BR> "Just be quiet, snapped the officer. <BR> I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." <BR> "But, officer, I just wanted to say...." <BR> "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll ... Tue, 21 Jan 2014 18:17:08 EST FRIENDSHIP http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5593844 Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. <BR> <BR> The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it. <BR> <BR> Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. <BR> <BR> The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 18:04:14 EST MASCULINE OR FEMININE? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5586539 <BR> A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. <BR> <BR> "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." <BR> <BR> "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." <BR> <BR> A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" <BR> <BR> Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 07:50:38 EST Thank You, Spark Members http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5552920 Thank each & everyone of you who took the tme to write on my Spark Page or send me a Goodie today on my 71st birthday! It means a lot to me. <BR> <BR> I have not been active for a while on SP due to various family issues. Hope to get back "up to speed" soon. Fri, 29 Nov 2013 17:42:00 EST The Man In The Hot Air Balloon http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5517906 <BR> A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,” Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." <BR> <BR> The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." <BR> <BR> "You must be an engineer," sai... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 17:04:22 EST BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5514441 Dear Wife, <BR> <BR> I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all o... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 16:36:17 EST Almonds & Old People (joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5507222 A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. <BR> <BR> She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up. <BR> <BR> After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times. <BR> <BR> At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, she replies that it is not possible be... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 17:20:16 EST Joke http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5497907 A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard. <BR> <BR> The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit. <BR> <BR> T... Fri, 27 Sep 2013 15:42:19 EST The Guitarist (joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486329 As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. <BR> <BR> I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. <BR> <BR> I felt badly a... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 15:19:50 EST Hanging the onions & garden on the patio (with pictures) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5483636 <BR> When it was time to pull the large onions from the garden I hung them one-by-one on string on my porch with a "slip knot" holding each one. I cannot describe how to do this but I am sure you can find the instructions for the knot on the internet. <BR> <BR> We have a small "raised garden" that holds tomatoes, potatoes, & onions at various times. It is almost time to plant multiplying onions. <BR> <BR> Pictures are of the hanging onions on my porch (upstairs) & tomatoes & peppers in p... Thu, 12 Sep 2013 11:43:46 EST A Laugh, A Smile, and Be Positive http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5445088 <BR> BARB: Hi! Wanda. <BR> WANDA: Hi! Barb. <BR> How'd you die? <BR> BARB: I froze to death. <BR> WANDA: How horrible! <BR> BARB: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. <BR> What about you? <BR> WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. <BR> BARB: So, what happened... Mon, 5 Aug 2013 10:21:20 EST Husband & Wife http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5434239 On their wedding night, the young bride <BR> Approached her new husband and asked <BR> For $20.00 for their first lovemaking <BR> Encounter. <BR> In his highly aroused state, <BR> Her husband readily agreed. <BR> This scenario was repeated each time they made <BR> Love, for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a <BR> Cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that <BR> She needed. <BR> Arriving home around noon one day, she was <BR> Surprised to find her husband... Fri, 26 Jul 2013 12:23:38 EST 3 Days = 15 Days, what?????? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5427144 15 days ago the carpenter started on our room. We removed EVERYTHING (including my satellite which made me off-line). She said the job would take about 3 days & we are 15 days & still not finished. The floor is finished, so we moved the satellite equipment & desk back & hooked everything up yesterday. In fairness to her, unforeseen problems came up & slowed the progress. She is supposed to come today & put the baseboards back. After that we will move the rest of the furniture back & I w... Sat, 20 Jul 2013 08:45:43 EST I did not forget http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5404290 I got all my onions pulled, pulled the weeds from around the tomato plants and have hung the onions with "kite" string on my porch. I did not forget a couple of people who commented on my last post about the onions that I would take pictures & try to explain how I did this. Now I am having trouble loading the pictures onto my PC from my camera. Because I am a senior citizen I seem to be "electronically challenged". <em>40</em> I will figure it out even if I have to get one of my grand... Fri, 28 Jun 2013 07:18:34 EST Weather (joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5396121 <BR> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the tuck and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. <BR> <BR> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whisp... Thu, 20 Jun 2013 09:35:23 EST A COWBOY TOMBSTONE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5393136 <BR> >> A COWBOY TOMBSTONE : <BR> >> <BR> >> Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. <BR> Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan , Utah . He died not knowing <BR> that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest. <BR> >> <BR> >> FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE: <BR> >> 1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to <BR> time, cleans up, and has a job. <BR> >> 2. It's important to have a woman who can make y... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:01:25 EST Airport Check-In http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5391923 <BR> > <BR> >>It happened at a New York Airport . This is hilarious. I wish I had <BR> >>the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United <BR> >>Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while <BR> >>making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably <BR> >>deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to <BR> >>deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. <BR> >> <BR> >>A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agen... Mon, 17 Jun 2013 11:33:47 EST Gardening is hard work, but the results are nice http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5387205 I spent 2 1/4 hours today in the garden. It was time to dig the potatoes. They turned out good & I got my exercise for the day....all that bending up & down, carrying the heavy buckets, using the shovel at times. <BR> <BR> Now my onions will have to be pulled within the next few days as the tops are dying & laying over. Then I will string them (one at a time) and hang them on my upstairs porch. when I want one all I will have to do is go out & pull one lose from the string. <BR> <BR> Mo... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 17:56:50 EST Papa Joe Aviance Lost 250 Pounds on the '99-Cent Diet' http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5379155 This is an interesting article. You will probably have to copy & paste the address below. <BR> <BR> Happy reading & happy Sparking! <BR> <BR> http://health.yahoo.net/experts/yourbest<BR>fitness/99-cent-diet-could-it-work-you Wed, 5 Jun 2013 12:44:53 EST AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5371412 <BR> THESE REALLY WORK!! <BR> <BR> <BR> I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real! <BR> <BR> AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES: <BR> <BR> 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. <BR> <BR> 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. <BR> <BR> 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. RE... Wed, 29 May 2013 11:32:18 EST SUNDAY JOKES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5368152 DRESS-UP <BR> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' <BR> 'And why not, darling?' <BR> 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.' <BR> <BR> ELDERLY <BR> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, par... Sun, 26 May 2013 06:59:22 EST WOMEN IN LEATHER DRESSES http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5365882 Did you know this about leather dresses: <BR> <BR> Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, <BR> a man's HEART beats quicker. <BR> his THROAT gets dry, <BR> he gets WEAK in the knees, <BR> and he THINKS irrationally. <BR> <BR> EVER WONDER WHY? <BR> <BR> It's because she smells like a new car!!! Thu, 23 May 2013 16:42:33 EST Not A Restart, Just a "Reboot" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5359506 i "REBOOTED" myself on SP 04/08 & got back to faithfully tracking, etc. I am not yet consistent with my exercise, but am slowly getting there. Since that time I have lost 4 lbs. (Yay!) & am feeling some better about myself. Onward & upward! <BR> <BR> My granddaughter & her husband are expecting a little girl in Oct. (their 1st). Will be a great Christmas & Thanksgiving for all the family. This will make 8 great-grandchildren for me & DH. <BR> <BR> Spark on, everyone, & have a great we... Fri, 17 May 2013 16:19:46 EST The Bull & The DEA Agent http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5352370 A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?!... Fri, 10 May 2013 16:45:08 EST WHY GOD MADE MOMS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5348467 <BR> WHY GOD MADE MOMS <BR> <BR> Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: <BR> Why did God make mothers? <BR> 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. <BR> 2. Mostly to clean the house. <BR> 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. <BR> <BR> How did God make mothers? <BR> 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. <BR> 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. <BR> 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He j... Tue, 7 May 2013 10:24:44 EST Tomorrow's The Big Day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5346425 Tomorrow I get back on track. I never officially left SP, but over the last few months I "drifted off the beaten path". It was only little things at first.....making portions too big (but I was still tracking), giving in to arthritic pain & stopping exercise, not drinking all my water in a day's time. Well, you get the idea. <BR> <BR> Now that I have gained several pounds & inches, feel lousy, am dragging myself up & down the stairs (I live in a 2 story house), etc. I know what to do as... Sun, 5 May 2013 16:34:48 EST THE GYN APPOINTMENT (hilarious joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5304011 <BR> <BR> I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’... Fri, 29 Mar 2013 07:34:29 EST PUBLIC WARNING http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5296353 &#9829; .. PUBLIC WARNING!! <BR> <BR> A True Story Serve as a Warning <BR> <BR> To the men: warn your loved ones! <BR> <BR> To the women: remember this! <BR> <BR> About a month ago there was a woman standing by the Mega Mall entrance passing out flyers to all the women going in. The woman had written the flyer herself to tell about an experience she had, so that she might warn other women. <BR> <BR> The previous day, this woman had finished shopping, went out to her car and discovered th... Fri, 22 Mar 2013 14:45:54 EST STOPPED BY THE POLICE @ 2AM http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5294854 <BR> Stopped by police @2am <BR> <BR> An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m and was asked where he was going at that time of night. <BR> <BR> The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." <BR> <BR> The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" <BR> <BR> The man replied, "That would be my wife." <BR> <em>198</em> <BR> <BR> Thu, 21 Mar 2013 10:41:12 EST TWO SISTERS & THE BULL http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5290058 <BR> Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. <BR> <BR> They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." <BR> <B... Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:39:51 EST Who said I was too old to dance? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5282323 Great way to start a Monday! Exercise takes many forms. <BR> <BR> <BR> http://1funny.com Click on the lady standing at the top of her steps of her house. <BR> <BR> <em>185</em> Mon, 11 Mar 2013 10:20:55 EST THE COUPLE AND THE THERAPIST http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5279142 A husband and wife came for counseling after 35 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 35 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. <BR> Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of ti... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 16:42:13 EST LEARNING TO CUSS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5276324 <BR> A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard. <BR> <BR> <BR> The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval. <BR> <BR> <BR> The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass." <BR> <BR> The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm. <BR> <BR> <BR> When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for b... Wed, 6 Mar 2013 18:10:24 EST TATERS, TATERS, & MORE TATERS http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5274731 I hope that I can get out of bed in the morning after spending 65 minutes gardening! <em>246</em> <BR> <BR> DD & SIL came down Sunday after church, brought the tiller, tilled the garden, mowed the lawn, & trimmed some shrubs for us. Things that needed doing, but I just have not had time to do (or my arthritis was so bad I was afraid to tackle these jobs). God bless them! <BR> <BR> This morning I went down to the garden & smoothed the dirt & put the strings out for the rows. We have ... Tue, 5 Mar 2013 18:32:36 EST THE LOYAL WIFE http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5265820 <BR> There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real scrooge when it came to his money. <BR> Just before he died, he said to his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me." And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. <BR> <BR> Well, he died. <BR> <BR> He was stretched... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:31:09 EST Billy Graham (joke) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5231557 <BR> <BR> Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine there to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. <BR> <BR> 'You know' he said, 'I am 87 years old and I have never <BR> Driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?' <BR> <BR> The driver said, 'No problem. Have at it.' <BR> <BR> Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down th... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 10:55:03 EST First Impressions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5201650 A young doctor was just setting up his first office when his secretary told him there was a man to see him. The doctor wanted to make a good first impression by having the man think he was successful and very busy. He told his secretary to show the man in. <BR> At that moment, the doctor picked up the telephone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient. The man waited until the “conversation” was over. Then, the doctor put the telephone down and asked, “Can I help you?” <BR> To... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 06:57:57 EST The story behind "The Twelve Days of Christmas" http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5169277 <BR> <BR> From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember. <BR> <BR> -The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ. <BR> <BR> -Two turtle doves wer... Mon, 17 Dec 2012 15:59:52 EST Always Leave Em' Laughing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5167435 <BR> ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips <BR> Were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips. <BR> Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care <BR> In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there. <BR> <BR> While Mama in her girdle and I in chin straps <BR> Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps. <BR> When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter <BR> I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. <BR> <BR> Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 15:27:15 EST Did you know that your tear ducts have drainage tubes? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162388 At my checkup today the doctor took off the "yucky" bandage. <em>104</em> <BR> <BR> Now I can see my skin graft (it is larger than I thought) & it is still all bruised as is part of my face & nose. He took the stitches out of my shoulder (where he got the skin to graft). But all in all, it does look better. <BR> <BR> I did not know that our tear ducts have drains. My skin cancer went all the way to the tear duct drain & because he cut it out too, he had to reconstruct it & put in a ... Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:57:01 EST Good News! Cancer gone! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5159188 Yesterday at the follow-up doctor's visit, he said he was able to get all the skin cancer during the operation (the pathology report confirmed this). Praise the Lord! He still does not want me to pick up anything heavy or do anything strenuous. I go back Monday & he will remove the top dressing off the graft, but after looking at my stitches and into my eye with the "very strong light" he said it all looked good. <BR> <BR> I am very thankful that he was able to do this as it was quite inv... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 10:39:35 EST Surgery over, outlook good (I hope) http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5154965 Face looks like I was in a bar brawl. <em>39</em> Purple & swelling... stitches in shoulder from skin graft...must go and put ice pack back on....Dr. thinks he got it all, but will not know until Thursday when I go back for follow-up. Mon, 3 Dec 2012 16:15:00 EST