DEDICATED2HIM's SparkPeople Blog DEDICATED2HIM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community And so it Goes I really wish I could go somewhere this summer. With every summer that passes I slide further and further away from "health" and "strength" But our garage needs a roof, our deck needs to be power washed and sealed. We need new kitchen floors....and there simply is no room in that list for "Vacation"....especially when to go anywhere and have any kind of endurance for pain, I must go in my wheelchair....and my husband will not have any part of that. *sigh* <BR> <BR> I will NOT feel sorry for... Sat, 28 Jun 2014 10:18:14 EST 10 suggestions for meeting my goal yes.I lost 8 lbs in the hospital....came home on oral steroids and gained 6 lbs back. I struggled with despair.Why is it that I'm having such a hard time BEING GOOD on this Eat To Live program.the first time I went in gung ho and jubilated as the pounds dropped off. I will try again. I know that this is the shortest route to the goals I desire to reach.If I could get solidly into a size 16, I would be very happy. Of course that is not the end of my goals....but it is a good solid start. <BR>... Sun, 8 Jun 2014 18:10:32 EST VICTORY I got home from the hospital yesterday.As I dressed to go home, I noticed something. Yes, I all swollen and puffy from the steroids. But my huge GUT that has been growing larger and larger,suddenly seemed a little smaller.Sure enough, my pants buttoned with out a struggle. I said to my husband in the car on the way home, " I think I have lost some weight!" he said "Yes, you have".... <BR> <BR> This morning I was eager to get onto the scales. I had been 227....and today I weighed 219!! 8 ... Thu, 29 May 2014 09:05:39 EST no place like home It is 4:47AM, and I've been up since around 3:00. Steroids make bad bed here I am ,starving and wish I g I had ordered more for breakfast.even though they have been tapering the steroids, they are still peaking in my bloodstream. It will take a few more days before t can feel more normal. <BR> <BR> I am going home today after nine days in hospital for asthma. It will be nice to get back home ...I am beginning to put us,all back onto the Ear to Live food plan. My husband is content ... Wed, 28 May 2014 05:16:25 EST EATING TO LIVE once again. My husband said exactly what I've been thnking myself and that is our only hope to stay alive is Dr Fuhrman's "Eat to Live" diet. When we were on that I lost 30 lbs in 6 weeks....and my husband's chest pain went away and his labs were normal. With success like that , why on earth would anyone STOP the plan? Someone not too smart. Someone who was tired of the complicated and messy food prep. Someone who got sick and tired of hearing her husband complain. <BR> <BR> So we had our freedom f... Sun, 25 May 2014 13:33:04 EST First Day; New Start I have had it. <BR> This fat girl has had it. <BR> She must GO....move over honey and make way, because I AM COMING THROUGH. <BR> I am going to work on the bike this AM and then get in the shower and go to church. <BR> <BR> Panic just struck at even writing that sentence. <BR> What if I can't breathe? I should definitely do a nebulizer first. <BR> <BR> OH Lord God help me. <BR> I am scared to death. Maybe I should just do some strength exercises. <BR> I am having a panic attack....jus... Sun, 18 May 2014 05:50:55 EST in the dumps Today was what you might call a bust. I've been struggling with depression off and on in the recent past...and it is hAving an effect on my eating. Today I has a smoothie for breakfast..and lunch was homemade soy yogurt with fruits, coconut, and walnuts..Dinner was when things went to pot. I made a big bowl of popcorn with melted butter and salt..This was definitely born out of my mood as I don't even like buttered popcorn! I was feeling like crap and was acting out by having that for dinne... Sat, 17 May 2014 18:38:37 EST A good Lunch Today I had an interesting lunch. I took one of those multi whole grain premade containers --put out by Minute Rice ...they have all kinds of rice and some other grains. I mixed that with a small can of corn and threw in about a half cup of black beans.Sprinkled it with cumin ...shook a few drops of liquid smoke in it and then sprinkled it with cheddar cheese shreds. Then nuked it for 1.5 minutes. It was really really good. Tue, 13 May 2014 18:29:28 EST Survival Today I had an MD appointment and a friend of mine was driving me. I've been wanting a soft serve ice cream cone ever since the Dairy Bar has re-opened for the summer season.So I suggested we stop for one after my appointment. Stop we did and saw a "closed" sign...I guess they don't have many customers in the morning!! So I went into the grocery store and with ice cream still on my mind,I picked up several of those tiny individual serving containers. Thats the only way I can limit my porti... Mon, 12 May 2014 16:05:53 EST One Week Down I'm mortal. <BR> And if I have any doubts about that, all I need to do is to read the food tracker for last night. On my food tracking form I have a category called "OVERNIGHT" is there that I record my greatest slip ups, my worst offenses. In the hours between 9:00 and 1:30 I can single-handedly destroy an entire week of "good behavior"....When I went to bed last night I had 1212 calories under my belt for the day. Spot on. <BR> <BR> Then came 9:00. And it brought with it a NEED for ... Sat, 10 May 2014 07:56:46 EST The Sweet Taste of Victory It has been a week of making the rubber hit the road. Those of you who read my blogs know the mental gymnastics I put myself through....You've read of my self-inflicted pep talks, trying to get myself to stop eating junk and mass quantities...thinking of exercise but never actually doing any. I'm surprised that any of you have continued to read. It has been a full 3 years of regaining all the weight I lost 4 years ago.....and I resisted, tooth and nail, the need to plan menus and track. But ... Thu, 8 May 2014 18:39:32 EST Choices: some Good; Some not -so-good Today I had to scramble a bit to get my calories where I wanted them. Last night I had cup of instant miniwheats and that blew me right out of my calorie range. Then today we had a coffee fellowship after church.I had a quarter of a glazed doughnut and a small square of french toast casserole. I'm not sure how to track those I will have to try. <BR> Then a gentleman friend (my driver for the day) took me to an Italian Restaurant to eat. The calzone was calling my name but thank God I turn... Sun, 4 May 2014 16:40:13 EST Beating the Bullfrog when I'm wheezing, I sound like a dying bullfrog...gasping/croaking. Once I reach that point, the only thing that will help is a nebulizer and a lot of prayer...It takes VERY little to get me to that point. <BR> My goal for today is to be as active as I can be WITHOUT reaching the croaking point. When I start to breathe shallowly, rapid breaths-that's the time I need to back off of what ever it is I am doing....even making lunch or making my bed. <BR> <BR> I did do some exercises this morn... Sat, 3 May 2014 09:57:41 EST Beginning---in the Middle I am a four year veteran of Spark People. In my first year I was guns afire, losing 70 pounds and working out every day. Then came hip replacement surgery.6 dislocated hips and 4 more hip surgeries. Then came several brushes with death due to asthma and massive doses of intravenous steroids. The weight came back....inertia, pain, medicines all took their toll. <BR> <BR> Last year I tried the "EAt to Live" diet and lost 25 pounds....of the seventy five I'd gained. But the recipes were ex... Fri, 2 May 2014 15:27:26 EST It's become OBVIOUS... ...that this weight is not going to go away magically on it's own without any significant effort by me. I know I"m eating too much of the wrong things (and the right things) and my scale knows it too! <BR> <BR> I've said this a million times....I'm sure you have your fingers in your ears singing "LALALALALALA" so you don't have to hear me repeat myself again. <BR> <BR> I think I need to use the predesigned meal plans by Spark People since I'm not getting any where with giving myself "leew... Wed, 30 Apr 2014 12:53:37 EST On she goes.... I weighed myself this morning for the first time in a couple of days. In those days I tried to moderate my eating, do some exercise and continue to drink water. I lost 2 pounds!! This is after a week or two of gaining a pound a day. <BR> <BR> Thank you for the comments and the support over the past week or so. It has meant a lot. I will keep up what I've been doing. I also have a ten day streak of signing in to Spark each day. This is after several months of very sporadic "attendance." ... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 06:48:45 EST Ruminations I didn't weigh myself today. Every time I weighed myself in the past week or so, I gained a pound with every weigh in. I am really seeing how fat I am ---feeling heavy and fitting in to only my biggest clothes. But I have been making some positive steps. I have been doing some strength exercises (asthma is acting up so no cardio) and I have been signing in to Spark as well as tracking once again. Tomorrow I'm going to weigh myself. I also should take a "before" picture soon because last t... Mon, 14 Apr 2014 16:09:59 EST Tiny Steps in the Right Direction It's not much, but it beats nothing. <BR> 1) I've logged in 5 days in a row <BR> 2) I've done my PT for my shoulder <BR> 3) I did a seated exercise sequence I found online <BR> 4) I did squats and calf raises <BR> 5) I tracked most of my food yesterday <BR> <BR> I still ate too much at dinner, granted 1/2 of what I ate was salad. <BR> I had one doughnut last night. Just one. But still.... <BR> <BR> So I almost don't want to write this blog in case I jinx myself....but maybe it will hold me ... Thu, 10 Apr 2014 08:40:53 EST A Familiy Needs Your Prayers Igot some good news yesterday evening.The initial reports on Matt's crash were exaggerated.He didn;t fly through the windshield.He climbed through it to get out of the car. Then he passed out face first into the dirt....and he aspirated some of the dirt and that was what was causing the respiratory problems.They put him on the vent I guess to somehow clear out his lungs.And as for his hip....the ball part of the joint broke off.He is having surgery to get a new hip on Monday. All in all the ... Sat, 5 Apr 2014 18:09:02 EST Well, what do you Know? I just tracked my food for the day(we haven't eaten dinner yet but I know what I'm eating and how much) I have between268 and over 300 calories to spare.I will have a protein bar in the middle of the night and a cup of prune juice. That juice packs on the calories but without it, I cannot move my bowels due to the fact that morphine makes pooping impossible.(TMI??) <BR> <BR> I had two naps very short one right before PT and one that was over an hour...Kitty on my lap on the rec... Sat, 22 Mar 2014 18:12:14 EST Renew and Restart so I've gained 26 pounds since I stopped following the Eat to Live program (and that happened partly because I was back on steroids and partly because my husband refused to eat the Eat to Live meals.) Blame's my fault.My fault for listening to my husband's complaints. NOW he eating pure garbage....potato chips, candy....all his efforts at controlling his diabetes and preventing his heart stents from re-clogging are down the drain.I know that HE bears a lion's share of the blame..... Wed, 19 Mar 2014 18:25:21 EST Lookin' for the Lovely Yesterday I found out that I'd won a free hour long session with a life coach. She has a blog I follow online and recently held a contest to win an hour long session with her. <BR> <BR> Here is something I was thinking about this AM sparked by a blog I read here: <BR> <BR> I struggled recently --thinking, "Maybe this is just the way I am....and possibly the way I"m going to be." I am frequently on high doses of steroids and every bout with steroids is good for a 5-20 pound weight gain....... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 08:49:05 EST Now that I'm Free..... In an act of stubbornness and in an attempt to hurt my feelings my husband announced he would never again eat anything I cooked. My husband is likely dying of heart disease....He has been "living" (more like "dying" )on potato chips and cereal. That is his diet. I've invited him to join us for dinner and he has refused. <BR> You know what? I can't make him take care of himself. If he wants to die, then die he will. And it will not be my fault but his own. <BR> <BR> So I have to look at thi... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 09:17:24 EST Fit Bit Recall <link><BR>alts-sales-of-the-force-fitness-tracker/ </link> <BR> <BR> Just came across this in my webcrawling.... <BR> Hope it's something they can easily fix. Fri, 21 Feb 2014 17:53:22 EST Who Owns your Body? This article was an eye-opener. Although it pointed out some of the fallacies in the way we view our bodies, it did not point out the TRUTHS about our body: who owns it,how we should view it; or our responsibilities in caring for it...because I love the God who created my body, I have some ideas about where the article was going....I just wish the article had discussed that in greater depth....Here is the Link.... <BR> <link><BR>ends/exposing-5-lies-abo... Thu, 20 Feb 2014 07:03:01 EST one thing at a time As many of you know, two weeks ago I had a shoulder original shoulder was destroyed by a triple whammy of RA,PsA (Psoriatic arthritis), and Sj (Sjogren's disorder)...My other"good (better)" shoulder is patiently waiting it's turn to be relieved of its duties as well. <BR> <BR> My pain is not terrible now (although I hear that once I start PT in earnest that will change)....but pain in my neck and feet and hands are all <BR> pretty severe. <BR> <BR> I wanted to write more.... Thu, 13 Feb 2014 09:02:46 EST Messages for me? Today in my Bible reading an angel woke up the sleeping prophet Elijah and gave him some food. Elijah then slept again and once more the angel woke him and told him to eat. "The journey ahead will be too much for you." The phrase struck me. <BR> Then hours later I was looking at a knitting pattern online and those words "The journey ahead will be too much for you" were HUGE and spread from one side of my screen to the other...Just those words. <BR> <BR> So I decided to go back and look at ... Fri, 7 Feb 2014 17:15:51 EST falling for the cat I have not been on Spark very much at all. In the hospital, all I had was my Kindle Fire which was giving me trouble, besides which I didn't much feel like socializing - online or off. <BR> <BR> My shoulder replacement went well, but still hurts like crazy....It is a 12 week recovery....and then I will have to think about getting the other one done. The doctor said, after my surgery, that there was absolutely no cartilage left...just bone grinding on bone. I pretty much could have predic... Sun, 26 Jan 2014 06:10:02 EST A Cloche Call Today is usual, my family is sleeping and I've been Awake forth <BR> for hours. So I knitted and finished the hat I was working on ...except for the flowers I want to knit and I will use button centers.I will attach these to the side of the hat.I am happy with the way it came out....even though there are some deviations from the pattern <BR> <BR> I wish I had time to do another project before my surgery on the 21st... I don' t ...maybe I could. I wish I'd gotten as adept at ma... Sat, 11 Jan 2014 09:53:15 EST New Years Resolves I wrote a blog on my regular blog on Blogger on the topic of New Years resolutions. I will put that link at the end of this post. For now I'm just going to list my RESOLVES: <BR> <BR> 1-to read my Bible daily....I might look for a two year read the entire book through. <BR> <BR> 2-to spend a block of time dedicated to nothing else but prayer...and that will involve listening also. <BR> <BR> 3-to give God his share of my money <BR> <BR> 4-to eat more healthful..5 freggies each d... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 08:33:57 EST New Years Resolves I wrote a blog on my regular blog on Blogger on the topic of New Years resolutions. I will put that link at the end of this post. For now I'm just going to list my RESOLVES: <BR> <BR> 1-to read my Bible daily....I might look for a two year read the entire book through. <BR> <BR> 2-to spend a block of time dedicated to nothing else but prayer...and that will involve listening also. <BR> <BR> 3-to give God his share of my money <BR> <BR> 4-to eat more healthful..5 freebies each d... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 08:33:57 EST Heaven's Light...a repost <BR> The following is a post I wrote this morning on my blog: <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Luke 1:78-79 <BR> New Living Translation (NLT) <BR> 78 Because of God’s tender mercy, <BR> the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us, <BR> 79 to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, <BR> and to guide us to the path of peace.” <BR> <BR> How is it that these verses, the words of Zechariah at the birth of his son John (... Mon, 23 Dec 2013 08:54:11 EST Dx: Glaucoma Yesterday I went to the eye doctor...and they did a bunch more tests. Then he measured the pressure in my eyes and said it was high last time and now was double that amount. He said he couldn't let me go home without addressing it or I would lose my eyesight. So he did the laser surgery on my right eye (the one with the highest pressure) and I"m going in today to get the left eye done. It was painful but not horrible. And once the pain eased up , it felt like I had a large grain of sand i... Fri, 20 Dec 2013 06:35:43 EST To See or not to See? That is the Question! Today I'm going for my fifth eye doctor appointment in as many months (has it been FIVE months already??) He has diagnosed me with glaucoma and told me I need surgery. That would make me in the "one in ten" category of people with glaucoma who require surgery. I"m hoping he will do it today in his office and get it over with...It's a laser surgery to put in some more ducts in my eyes to relieve the pressure in them. Because of insurance issues I really need to get it done this Thu, 19 Dec 2013 06:01:57 EST Changes? or Status Quo? today I got a call from a nurse at Cigna health insurance company. She was asking me questions about all of my medicines...on and on she droned...I kept nodding off. INitially I would make her repeat her question to me and finally just tried to pretend like I knew what she was saying. Anyway because I take an antidepressant, she did this depression scale where she asked me questions. For some reason I was inexplicably tired and either had to ask her to repeat the question or fake it. Th... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 15:56:19 EST Introducing myself to my Body Not feeling my greatest, yesterday and today. I took my MTX (methotrexate- a chemo drug also used for autoimmune disease) yesterday and it made me SO sick...Similarly, the Actemra (and IV infused medicine for the same purpose) made me terribly sick this past time. I had taken MTX two other times in years past and it never made me sick before, although it DID make my hair fall out. So I guess I'm finally going through what so many of my friends on the RAD team have gone through. I always f... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 06:26:04 EST Healthy Choices Day 2 So yesterday I went through my day being cognizant of making healthy choices. And I did pretty well. I did have pizza for dinner, but I only had one slice and I had stir fried some red peppers and zucchini and put that on top of my slice of pizza...It was very yummy and I felt good because I changed a not-so-good choice into a much better one. I went to a cookie swap and was fairly good. I had three cookies. Considering the spread that was there, three cookies isn't bad. <BR> <BR> Today I... Thu, 12 Dec 2013 13:48:00 EST Rewards and Healthy Choices I just read a short blog by INDYGIRL and was struck by several statements she made. One is : "It isn't about fast, it's about getting the weight off for good" and the other: "Every positive choice you make should be celebrated." <BR> <BR> These statements, while simple, are quite profound. When I lose a pound, or five...I want it to be FOR GOOD...and honestly it isn't always. I lose five, gain 6...lose two gain one...What can I do to make the weight loss FOR GOOD? And then in comes her s... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 06:03:59 EST Iced Out Today is my 51st birthday. I originally had two "appointments" today. A luncheon with a friend and a dinner out as well with a couple of friends. Then this morning woke to glistening roads and deck stairs...Ice with a layer of snow on top. So now it looks like both appointments are canceled. Although there is still some slight hope of the earlier appointment taking place...if my friend can get out of her community where the roads are bad. <BR> <BR> So here I am 51 years old in the house... Mon, 9 Dec 2013 11:13:10 EST The Goings on I have not blogged in a long time...There really is not much to blog about. Still dealing with shoulder pain and have not yet made an appointment with the surgeon. I would be seriously surprised if the MRSA colonizing in my nostrils is gone now. I need to find out if he will go ahead and operate despite that. That too, would surprise me. But first I need to take care of my eyes. I've been going to an ophthalmologist every month for the past three months. He thinks I have glaucoma whi... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 07:09:38 EST interlude My weight seems to be stabilizing ...I'm still eating too much. My face looks like a chipmunk with its mouth full. I can't wait for the day when the steroids lose their grip and I pee out gallons...and I get rid of the majority of this swelling. <BR> Right now I have an ice pack on my shoulder. I'm really wishing right now that I would have had that shoulder surgery. The shoulder has turned a corner...It hurts SERIOUSLY ALL the time. And if I lift up my arm to do anything it makes me ch... Sun, 24 Nov 2013 18:40:45 EST Pain Pain here to Stay <BR> <BR> Right now I'm in the midst of re-assessing pain meds. I would like to go off of them....I'm sick of explaining myself to people as to the severity of my pain and why I am kowtowing to pain management doctors. I am tired of explaining my pain. I am tired of worrying about whether or not my pain meds will be available when I need them in the future. Is there something inherently more noble in those who refuse pain meds? Or are they just surfing in on a wave of pain and are the... Wed, 20 Nov 2013 13:03:44 EST Bon Apetite Not feeling as "RAVENOUS" as I was for awhile (I'm on a high dose of steroids right now) HOwever, FOOD IS LOOKING AWFULLY GOOD. I think I had two or three breakfasts....well, maybe one of those was lunch because I 'm not recalling a lunch per se. I have gained about 12 lbs. But beginning now I have to really watch my weight. A lot of those 12 lbls is likely fluid...I need to make sure DAILY that the weight is going down and not up. <BR> <BR> It's warm today ..I have my window open.I am... Fri, 15 Nov 2013 15:53:40 EST Logistics Well yesterday I got home from the hospital after being an inpatient for 9 days following a very serious asthma attack. that means that for 9 days they continuously pumped me full of IV steroids at a mammoth dose trying to get the inflammation out of my lungs. I was suppposed to go home on MOnday but after listening to my chest again, the doc decided I wasn't ready. He listened to me again on Tuesday ---after promising me on Monday that I could go home Tuesday--and he still wasn't really h... Wed, 13 Nov 2013 13:53:06 EST Will I make it? Not talking about survival...(even though this morning that sounds applicable also) <BR> I'm talking about my weight goal of170 By Jan11th. I currently weigh 197 however I'm in the midst of a long stretch of oral then IV and then back to oral steroids; This does not bode well for further or fast weight loss. I'm hoping just to stay where I'm at until this time of dietary danger is past. <BR> <BR> To top it out,the five foot long dstance to my bathroom almost did me in. Exercise is a far ... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 04:30:39 EST Here and Now I had a pretty calm day...until my marital tornado arrived home...decimating my calm. <BR> I won't go into the details about that...No one wants to hear about people like that. <BR> <BR> My daughter has been away for three days visiting a friend. So there is no mediator. <BR> <BR> My good news is that I weighed myself today. For several weeks (since I"ve gone off the Dr Fuhrman diet...My weight had crept up to 203. Well today --after not weighing myself for several days..I weighed 199. ... Wed, 23 Oct 2013 16:54:26 EST One week back; another one forward Today is Saturday. It's been a VERY busy week...but a lot of it was social and fun. With a few MD appointments in the fray. I seem to have gone up several levels in the battle against pain. Pain has escalated and is beating the snot out me every morning now. It's always been worse in the AM but seriously...there should be some kind of nomenclature to distinguish pain from PAIN!!!! <BR> <BR> It's all I can do not to cry in the morning now. I move every joint...slowly. carefully...and every... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 06:21:14 EST Nothing Much Yesterday I had the busiest day1 had probably in three years. I did a bunch of errands in the morning; went to New Jersey to see my mom and dad; went to the store with my dad; came back to the early lunch in New Jersey at a 50s type diner; came back to Pennsylvania; and when should a grocery store into some shopping. I came home I look at my bank account online figured out what that have outstanding and realized that for the rest of the month I have about $60. I don't know how that happened... Thu, 10 Oct 2013 08:21:53 EST Surgery Canceled. Actemra Up to Bat <BR> I was scheduled two weeks ago to have a total right shoulder replacement. However in the pretesting they found that I still have MRSA (was treated for it two years ago) the surgery AND the IV drug I so badly need to take (a biologic called Actemra)...were out of the picture. <BR> <BR> My ID DOC (infectious disease) said it was okay to go ahead wiht the Actemra and I can also have the surgery IF the surgeon is willing...He's been VERY nervous about my propensity to get major infect... Sun, 6 Oct 2013 08:35:27 EST fire-breathing Dragon Over the past few weeks, my shoulders (in particular, my right shoulder especially) has been making it very difficult for me to type. I've had to cut short conversations on line and have had to ease up on my Team involvement...all because of pain. <BR> Maybe a year ago, I'd bought the Dragon Voice Recognition system which makes it so you speak into a mike on a headset and the computer types what you tell it to type. Last year my arms were not in such bad shape, so when I had frustration aft... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 08:06:32 EST