DEDICATED2HIM's SparkPeople Blog DEDICATED2HIM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community A Journey of a Thousand Miles I started out great guns, easily achieving days where I tracked every bite and came in around 1200 calories in a day. But after a week, my calorie intake has crept back up...until there came one night when I was RAVENOUS all night long (and obviously, was awake all night long as well). I felt like I was on steroids...every few minutes my stomach would growl and act like I hadn't eaten all day. Well I ingested so much food that night that it blew my motivation and commitment out the window.... Fri, 26 May 2017 02:33:14 EST Taking Stock--Regaining my losses Last November and December I lost about 25 lbs following the death of my mom. And I maintained that for a number of months. At that time I really felt that Spark People was not helping me. I can do almost no exercise due to an aggressive case of Autoimmune Arthropathy - in other words some combination of RA, and PsA and Sjogrens. I can barely walk let alone exercise. And the meal plan I was following ? well I sort of had no plan, just was eating minimally. And to top off my whole disench... Tue, 16 May 2017 01:51:53 EST The Struggle Against Entropy <BR> <BR> "Steven Pinker recently wrote an essay on how people need to better appreciate the second law of thermodynamics. Specifically, they need to understand that if we don’t actively work to keep chaos at bay, entropy wins. “Closed systems inexorably become less structured, less organized, less able to accomplish interesting and useful outcomes, until they slide into an equilibrium of gray, tepid, homogeneous monotony and stay there,” Pinker writes. “The Second Law of Thermodynamics,” h... Sat, 4 Mar 2017 06:05:24 EST Can't Touch that! I have come to the conclusion that tracking as I go throughout the day or worse yet, tracking my food BEFORE I eat was not helpful. All I could think about all day long was much I'd eaten and how much more I could have before day's end. And every day, the 1200 calories was just not quite enough. So I rebelled. I said "no more tracking...will just try to get satisfied with vegetables so that I could eat MORE and be satiated with fewer calories. And I discovered that, veggies or ... Sun, 26 Feb 2017 05:27:23 EST A Change of Plan I have signed in to Spark People almost 90 days in a row. I have tracked my food for weeks. And I have had some spectacular "fails." Right now I need to reassess. What is working for me? Tracking has worked mainly to show me that I am not making good choices. It has showed me that the food choices that I have been making have too many calories and not nearly enough satiation value. "Satiation" is a term that Dr Joel Fuhrman uses to describe the "fullness factor" can eat 500 calo... Thu, 16 Feb 2017 05:51:28 EST About Face!! I have to share this with you! <BR> I've been straying a bit from the beaten path...but have been doing several things which are apparently paying off. This morning I weighed myself....after I got the courage to open my eyes, expecting to see a five pound gain...I was amazed and delighted to see that I've lost three pounds since my last weigh in!!! I think that what has saved me is when I have a big meal (like a calzone) ....that is all I will eat in the day and in the overnight I may have... Wed, 1 Feb 2017 02:10:35 EST A Vacation from Moderation Last Friday I went grocery shopping and I bought on impulse a package of Klondike Bars thinking that since they were wrapped In single serve wrappers I could control the amount I consume. Well. Let me tell you, my hands aren't the greatest but they could definitely make short work out of unwrapping an ice cream treat! <BR> <BR> And then I went underground. I could not even confess to myself how quickly I went through those 6 frozen confections....let alone put it on a nutrition tracke... Tue, 31 Jan 2017 04:54:28 EST A Recovery from Disaster This week was a nutritional shambles. I hardly consumed any fruits or veggies...did have some berries and an orange. But ate a whole package of smoked almonds. (That is the LAST time I ever buy those). And a smallish bag of sour cream and onion chips (I NEVER eat chips usually-- I don't even like them!) And today two toaster pastries. What is happening? In my very fattest days I never ate this kind of junk. In my fattest days I ate fruits and vegetables. Its like I have a vendetta ag... Tue, 24 Jan 2017 13:51:38 EST Sugar Busting About a week ago I joined the Sugar Busting Challenge. I did it half heartedly...not convinced that I can do it (even though I went for several years without sugar 10 years ago) ---and not really convinced I wanted to. But today I have a new sense of commitment. I can do this. I've recently begun to drink diet soda again after about 10 years without it. I feel badly about this. But I have been really enjoying it. (when I first tasted it after all that time, it tasted vile.) If I keep ... Sun, 8 Jan 2017 06:10:35 EST A New Year; A New Me This year I am really working on inner self as well as the self others see. God has pointed out to me some persistent sins that involve my failure to be totally honest with people...and with myself. I'm finding that my first line of defense against this type of behavior is my own recognition of it and awareness of it. Because as you know, these type of flaws can become so interwoven into our character that we are unaware of them....and repeat them over and over. Well God has p... Thu, 5 Jan 2017 06:07:00 EST Then and Now In this bout of weight loss spanning from 2015-2016 I've lost 48 lbs.. There was one other time--in 2010-2011 when I had lost a significant amount also. The major difference is that back then I was hooked on exercise. I did Walk Away the Pounds with good old Leslie...I lifted weights ...I walked, even ran a little. And I felt GOOD. Asthma was well controlled and I felt strong. <BR> <BR> So what has happened since then? <BR> More asthma. More steroids. weight gain. Many surgeries due t... Thu, 29 Dec 2016 05:16:03 EST The Trail Mix from Hell So for quite a while I was going great guns in my weight loss...losing a pound a day in the days following Mom's death. I knew that that rapid weight loss and loss of appetite were only temporary; that once I had grieved, my desire to eat would return. <BR> <BR> And it did. <BR> <BR> I tried to hang on to some of the good habits of the time of that weight loss. Do not finish what is on your plate. Always leave some behind. Sometimes, (like when you were really hungry or when the food is... Thu, 22 Dec 2016 04:54:39 EST A Letter to Myself Dear Cynthia, <BR> You have been doing great at losing weight! You are now approaching the place where you don't feel ill when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. <BR> But all that good notwithstanding, it is time you and I had a talk. <BR> In the past week you celebrated your birthday and. while you did well by not eating the majority of the sweet potato fries, you had a rich appetizer and the dessert!!! CHEESECAKE smothered in whipped cream! The only good thing I can say is that... Wed, 14 Dec 2016 09:19:54 EST A Revision So several years ago I was a rabid raw vegan. My skin looked amazing. I had ZERO body odor....I felt good. But it is very very hard to maintain that type of diet for very long. It takes tons of planning and foresight. <BR> <BR> Then I was just a vegan. <BR> And then just a vegetarian. <BR> <BR> And yesterday at my birthday dinner: I had 3oz of steak. It was the first steak I'd had in 30 years and I just had a yen for it. It will not become a habit....I can easily go another 30 years wi... Sun, 11 Dec 2016 06:07:44 EST Navel Gazing I just spent time looking through some other people's Spark Pages. I see the pics of their activities, adventures, travel and athletic events. I read their blogs. And I thought of my life....spent mostly alone; mostly sitting in my recliner with very few times going out anywhere except for MD appointments and as a result my blogs are mostly introspective...."navel gazing" you might say. It is pointless to feel envy...not only pointless but WRONG. (Ten commandments anyone?) It is a grea... Fri, 9 Dec 2016 05:52:52 EST Kicking and Screaming Why is it that I CANNOT talk myself into exercising? When I was in the rehab I busted my the point of sweating...I was motivated...loved seeing new muscles and regaining lost strength. <BR> <BR> But it was HARD. <BR> <BR> I remember seeing two elderly ladies, in their 80's, who also were not weight bearing on one leg like me. They grabbed those walkers on wheels and off they went, hopping easily on their PT walks. I said to my PT, "why is it so EASY for them??" I struggled ... Thu, 8 Dec 2016 06:38:47 EST Struggles and Truth I've been struggling lately...I'm really feeling depressed and am praying not to be swallowed whole by that monster again. I just have to dig my heels in, spend time on my knees...and RESIST. There are 6 factors behind my gloom and each of them alone is enough to make you want to just stay in bed. But I've been in bad spots before and managed to persist and succeed in spite of them; so why should this time be different? <BR> <BR> FACT: My God who is in me and around me, knows what he is d... Sun, 4 Dec 2016 05:18:36 EST Dropping the Mole So I've just rapidly lost about 20 lbs following the death of my mom. Food tasted like sawdust and I had no appetite at all. SO NOW comes the challenging part. "How to maintain and I continue the weight loss without losing ground and regaining. I've been trying to start some new eating habits and mostly that involves changing the schedule of my eating. I used to hop out of bed and make breakfast but now I have no desire to eat until around 10:00- 11:00. So I sometimes eat something then... Sun, 27 Nov 2016 08:11:32 EST LOSS: My weight and my Mom I just wrote a whole blog...including pics...and it disappeared! I really wish Spark People would save drafts so that if you lose it you can come back to it and finish it....without it being sucked into cyber space. <BR> <BR> I'm writing today to celebrate the fact that I finally reached my first goal. I have already set my next goal. <BR> I know that my weight loss is not due to healthy living but due to the complete loss of appetite that I've had since mom died on Oct 27th. It will be... Wed, 9 Nov 2016 06:22:23 EST Successes and Other Musings Yesterday I weighed myself..... ( I know....after this I will weigh myself weekly. ) I wanted to see if the inexplicable one extra pound had gone away. And yes it had! I struggled all day yesterday with wanting something sweet....a Symphony bar is my favorite. That or some ice where my head was at. I compromised by making my favorite comfort food: Pasta (whole wheat) with butter (real) and parmesan shreds (also real). I did feel guilty about the poor nutritional value of the m... Thu, 20 Oct 2016 05:36:45 EST Large Scale Deception This week I've been feeling a bit down. I weighed myself yesterday and found I'd gained a pound....inexplicably...No cheats no pigging out...I KNOW that weight fluctuates and that that is all it likely is...but still. You know how it is: you finally face the scale and it gives you bad news. It can ruin your day. (I know I'm giving the scale way too much power. Old anorexic habits die slowly) <BR> <BR> So today I was searching through my closet...we are having an Indian Summer this week a... Tue, 18 Oct 2016 08:38:15 EST Rambling Well, my last post was a "bummer" - let's see if I can do better this time. <BR> My ankle has improved enough that I can put weight on it for a minute or so while transferring from scooter to recliner or chair to scooter. It hurts some to do that but it's a dull aching pain rather than the sharp agony it was before. It does hurt enough to make me not want to try anything more than standing. <BR> <BR> Hurricane Matthew was supposed to go out to sea...however it surprised us by continuing... Thu, 13 Oct 2016 02:33:01 EST Blue Sunday I have been for months...I'm at home in my recliner recovering from a major ankle surgery. Where I would LIKE to be is at my church with my faith family worshipping and enjoying the company. And to make matters worse "DH" is less than friendly today (which is a complete understatement.) <BR> <BR> I feel like crying. But even tears are out of my reach. <BR> <BR> I know this is not a blog about food or weight loss....but I do not have any other place to vent right now. My fa... Sun, 2 Oct 2016 10:56:18 EST Response: to a blog and to my circumstances I usually start the week with a menu plan and it must have a wide range of strength and ingredients that it will require to prepare it. A friend pointed me to a popular blog post about meal and grocery planning and it prompted these thoughts. <BR> <BR> I used to cook 7 dinners a week...using left overs as lunches. Well that does not work for me or my husband anymore. WHY? Well sometimes he will have eaten a large lunch at work and doesn't want much for dinner except maybe a bowl of cere... Mon, 11 Jul 2016 10:59:48 EST Re-Writing "Normal" As I am gearing myself up for my ankle fusion surgery next week (next WEEK???!!) I am thinking that maybe I should come up with some goals or maybe some motivational statements that will keep me from losing motivation altogether. How about the old Virginia Slims ads: "You've come a long way baby!" Yes. I have and quitting smoking 21 years ago this month was a big part of my initial drive to get healthy. But now what? Now what can I focus can I maintain encouragement? Forward Dri... Sun, 26 Jun 2016 04:41:27 EST The Game Changer The air was crisp, the first rays of morning light peeked over the tree covered mountains. I pulled the laces of my sneakers tight, grabbed a bottle of water and headed for the door. I did a few stretches and then set out. As I crossed the two mile mark on my walk, I recalled the days when I could only make it down my driveway. I had one rule: Every day do a little more....and that approach built muscles and defied asthma. I did a nebulizer treatment every day before I started out and thi... Thu, 12 May 2016 06:03:22 EST What it Means to Persevere The following definitions are taken from an old Webster's Dicitionary <BR> Perseverance -1) The act or quality of persisting. 2) Continuance in a state of grace until it is succeeded by a state of glory. <BR> <BR> <BR> Persevere - To persist in any enterprise undertaken in spite of counter influences, opposition etc. <BR> <BR> Persistent- inclined to persist, tenacity, doggedness, perseverance. <BR> <BR> These definitions bring to mind a dog with a bone. Guarding it, and chewing it until... Mon, 25 Apr 2016 04:40:03 EST Why Not? I have two big "I SHOIULDS" that have been plaguing my conscience. 1) to do some drawing and 2) to get my body moving. I sit in this power recliner 95% of the day. And it is getting harder and harder to even stand up. This morning I've done 3 or 4 exercises...wall push ups, counter squats and band pull downs. I kind of considered doing them, almost dismissed the idea and then threw laziness and pain to the winds and did a few things. I want to do two more sets .... <BR> I also should th... Wed, 20 Apr 2016 08:48:13 EST Mercy toward Myself Lately I am very reluctant to weigh myself, believing that I will have gained weight. But lately, when curiosity gets the best of me and I weigh myself there have been good amounts of weight lost. But since I have been tracking my food, I am appalled by some of the high calorie foods I have been sucking down. NOW I am really REALLY scared to weigh myself....I look in the mirror and I see that "pregnant" belly and despair. But to be honest, my belly is smaller than it was. I've lost 30 lb... Sun, 17 Apr 2016 17:06:49 EST What Next? Exactly as I predicted, I fell prey to insatiable cravings and a feeling of immunity because my weight was "low" (low considering the past 5 years.) I regained almost all of the weight I had lost. I am thinking about having Spark design my menu again as I did years ago very successfully. This is what the hospital did for me. I made my order and they tweaked it to only contain a healthy amount of calories by moderating portions. <BR> <BR> I will have to look at the menus once again. The o... Fri, 1 Apr 2016 15:24:09 EST Old Tapes I have discovered something about myself. If I have lost weight-- and i weigh myself and see the weight loss this is the most dangerous time for me. ONce I get complacent and self congratulatory I usually very quickly regain the weight I had lost. <BR> <BR> Lately I have been feeling "fat" and hating my body. I postpone weighing and am so afraid of what that scale would say. HOwever I'm at the lowest weight I've been since 2011. Thus far I have lost 36 lbs. But I cannot think about ... Sun, 20 Mar 2016 15:11:09 EST The Hipster Returns so. I was sick a couple of weeks ago and it turned in to a resistant asthma attack which simply was not responding to treatment. ON March 1st I was admitted to the hospital to try to get things under control again. By my second week in the hospital, the asthma began to respond and I made plans to come home. On the day of my antiicpated discharge, I was sitting on the edge of the bed and bent over to pick up a sock. And POP!! Out came my hip from the socket which causes instant immobiil... Sat, 12 Mar 2016 14:09:44 EST The Best of Both Worlds I had been following the ET (Eat to Live program by Dr Joel Fuhrman.) for a couple of years now. The program was very demanding and required a lot of cooking and prep....lots of grocery expense....And I was a full fledged advocate of his philosophy. Problem was I could not follow it perfectly. And i really wasn't losing any weight after the first 15 pounds. I was stuck and in fact was gaining weight. <BR> <BR> I needed a change. Food and food prep should NOT consume your life. And you ... Sat, 27 Feb 2016 09:04:49 EST Gratitude It's here!! Have a very happy - and grateful - Thanksgiving Day! <BR> <BR> This year we are doing things a little differently in my family. Today I will be cooking some side dishes--but our real holiday meal will be held tomorrow (Black Friday) when our daughter will be here to celebrate with us. I bought a pre-made Thanksgiving Dinner from our grocery store, since I am not able to really cook a big meal (physically). I myself will be eating some veggie dishes that I'm making to accompany... Thu, 26 Nov 2015 04:57:10 EST My Reward I broke the 200 lb barrier today..(see the blog prior) and I was chatting with a friend who asked me what kind of reward I was giving myself. I never in the past rewarded myself. I felt like losing and wearing smaller clothes etc, was reward enough. But today I felt that I really do deserve a reward. So see the picture to see what I got myself...I got a cereal/rice bowl, a soup bowl and a mug..(see photo). I now wish I'd also gotten the plate. OH well. I'm very happy with the ones i did ge... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 14:59:56 EST A BUMPY RIDE Right now, at 2:39 AM, I am doing the happy dance. Why? -well let me give you some background first. I have been pursuing a vegan, no oil, no salt, no sugar, no processed foods diet as part of the ETL (Eat to LIve) guidelines. I had been doing amazingly well for the past two or three weeks; side-stepping temptations right and left. Making nutritious, healthy food: being about 60% raw and also using my Instant Pot: making my own soy yogurt and soy milk....and being very happy doing all this ... Wed, 11 Nov 2015 03:10:57 EST Choices I was just looking at the pic on the front of my Spark page when I was at my book signing. Wow,. Just wow. Talk about a wake up call.! I'm very happy to say that I am about 20-25 pounds less than that now...but I know: a mere "drop in the bucket". I still have not done any exercise as of yet. It's so hard to talk my hurting body into moving. I have been considering Leslie Sansone again. Is it possible? I know I could not make it through one mile. At least at first. But it would b... Sun, 8 Nov 2015 08:14:47 EST The Importance of Walking I thought this was very funny. I hope you all enjoy it! <BR> <BR> Walking can add minutes to your life. <BR> This enables you at 85 years old <BR> to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing <BR> home at $7000 per month.. <BR> <BR> My grandpa started walking <BR> five miles a day when he was 60. <BR> Now he's 97 years old <BR> and we don't know where he is. <BR> <BR> I like long walks, <BR> especially when they are taken <BR> by people who annoy me. <BR> <BR> The only reason I would take... Tue, 3 Nov 2015 03:00:10 EST Follow up from Most Popular Blog I just re-read the blogpost that was voted most motivational blog post for 1/29/15. As usual I can talk a good talk and write a good post....but can i really make right choices consistently? <BR> <BR> I just spent a month in the hospital for respiratory issues and was on a TON of IV steroids.....needless to say my belly ballooned and my neck had quadruplets. Even so, when I got home I had lost one pound rather than gaining 30. But--here's the rub--once I was set loose away from the hospit... Fri, 11 Sep 2015 15:39:02 EST Ramblings Hi. <BR> I have not weighed myself lately. At last check I had regained all the loss i had achieved over a year ago with the Eat to Live program. Now I am struggling to live by the parameters that eating plan lays down. I have really been struggling against cravings for products with animal proteins in them....which are really just lethal, destroying heart and causing cancer. I find it relatively easy to avoid oil ---except when eating out. Then there is little choice. This month I have... Sun, 23 Aug 2015 08:09:16 EST The Beast Unmasked So. When i was in the hospital on HUGE doses of steroids for a month....i actually lost a few pounds thanks to the portion controls in the hospital food. I was ALWAYS hungry there. So when I got home i went a little wild. Whole wheat bagels with tofutti "cream cheese:" are the current drug of choice. I have one bagel left. And i'm not buying any more. My face has never been more swollen than it is right now. I have several chins and no neck. <img src="http://photosaws.sparkpeople... Sat, 25 Jul 2015 09:02:57 EST Fixable---? I just completed 24 days in the hospital. In the hospital ---on tons of IV steroids--my appetite was mammoth. I would eat a full plate of food---as much as I could get them to send me---and would be hungry before I took the last bite. I'm the only person I know who can be hungry WHILE EATING. HOwever, despite the migration of fat to my face and to my middle (another gift of steroids) clothes felt loose. Sure enough, when I got home I'd actually lost a pound. ( a POUND??? SO WHAT?... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 06:16:29 EST Changing the Tide I just got out of the hospital where i was for 9 days on HIGH doses of IV steroids. Usually I can guarantee a 20 lb weight gain in the time spent in the hospital and then another 20 at home. HOwever this time, despite eating fairly hefty meals,...I actually LOST weight. 5 lbs in the hospital and 4 more since I've been out. I have not been doing ETL perfectly. In fact two nights ago I had a hamburger. And yesterday I had fried chicken pieces in a salad. And DESPITE that, I have been lo... Sat, 27 Jun 2015 08:06:17 EST Some thoughts Borne of a Long Hospital Afternoon. Today is day 7 of my hospital stay. Now the docs say I can (maybe) go home this coming Tuesday. My lungs are improved ...but my BP has been through the sky. The doctors want to try yet one more pill for Hypertension to try to get a grip on it. Today I finally got an order for a shower. My plan is to get one after lunch today. <BR> <BR> I have been uninspired to write. However a friend from online and I have been chatting up a storm via email and it is almost as good and cozy as a visit ... Sun, 21 Jun 2015 14:08:25 EST Where is my Spark? Yes, here I am once more: in the hospital struggling to breath. I have severe asthma and have been admitted once more for at least a week of IV steroids (Solule Medrol). This drug causes me intense hunger and can usually be counted on for at least a twenty pound weight gain. I want to cry. Honestly this struggle with my health and with my weight make me want to give up. I know if I quit the battle, it won't be long until I'm in the 300's or more. For the past year my health has made it ... Tue, 16 Jun 2015 03:39:19 EST DRATS: Computer Issues I had reached 40 + consecutive spins on the spark wheel. And then my computer cord died...only we thought it was the battery. So Ii ordered a new battery -only to find that that was not the problem. And for some odd reason- my Kindle refuses to let me sign on to Spark my streak of sign ons was broken ....sigh... Now i am working with a borrowed cord while I am waiting for my new cord to arrive. I used to love my Kindle....Now i HATE it....I am not a person who likes to use a ... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 01:03:07 EST From the Murky Depths.... <img src="">As I had reported in my last post, I've been floundering badly. BADLY---as in large soft serve cone with sprinkles....and then eggplant parm on a roll for Frosted Flakes for dinner. No folks. It doesn't get much worse than that. <BR> <BR> And you know what? I'm GLAD. <BR> Why? BECAUSE I gave myself a rude awakening. And that was this: ALL THIS WORK I've done, preparing good-for-me mea... Tue, 26 May 2015 08:32:25 EST Singlemindedness VS mindlessness It's been a week of ups and downs. I weighed last week and was at a new low...had lost two more pounds. Then. Well I got cocky....and every single day of the week there was some kind of diversion from the straight and narrow. I did not re-weigh because I know I will just be really discouraged. Instead I'm working hard to put a perfect day together...and then one more....and then one more. Today was almost perfect except I had a little of the brown sauce on my steamed veggies from the C... Sat, 23 May 2015 18:45:25 EST Learning New "Tricks" so I am proud to say that I have evaded every obstacle and every rogue temptation that has come along. I went shopping (twice) and spent WAY too much money. My already high bill was augmented by purchasing the ingredients for a yummy 3 Bean Veggie Chili which I'm making in the slow cooker for a pot luck supper tomorrow. The reason I'm going to so much trouble and not just buying soda or some cookies is because I NEED to have something there to eat myself....something that I know I can hav... Fri, 1 May 2015 16:14:33 EST Sunday Rest I am on Day 3 of my six week "induction" to the EAT TO LIVE program put together by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. So far I have stuck to the plan perfectly. This morning (3:00 AM) I had two mini whole wheat bagels with vegan cream cheese....which is allowable, however I will have to forgo anymore starches today. Yesterday I didn't have any at all so it is not impossible. I did not weigh myself today. Yesterday I was a bit unhappy to find that I did not lose anything....however in recalling my othe... Sun, 19 Apr 2015 03:10:46 EST