DEBCARES's SparkPeople Blog DEBCARES's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community AND IT BEGINS AGAIN Seems like I am never finishing what I start. But, I am going to start again. Biggest Loser started at work. Weigh in was Friday, Jan 4. My diet and exercise will start Monday. Let's see how this goes. My goal is 50 lbs by May 17. I'm going to Germany to visit my daughter and I'd like to be a bit smaller. I'd be humiliated if the plane seat belt didn't fit me or if I didn't fit in the seats very well! I hate the way I look and feel. Time for change. <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpe... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 00:18:58 EST FRUSTRATED & SCARED I don't know why I can't make myself do what I know I have to. The doctor I saw Monday told me if I can loose 30 lbs, I will see a big difference in my glucose levels and if I loose 100 lbs, I may not even have diabetes anymore! That should be motivation enough! It does scare me that all this stuff can happen and I certainly don't have a death wish although sometimes I'm depressed enough to not care about anything. I don't like being "that" person whose emotions are always on a roller coa... Thu, 24 May 2012 22:10:57 EST WEIGHT LOSS I started a new diet on Monday and it said I could loose 10 lbs in a week. I've done really well. So far I've lost 6 lbs and it's just Friday. It's not a crazy diet like only liquid or some such nonsense and I'm eating healthy.....too healthy in my opinion! It has been so hard though. Yesterday at work the CEO bought us all pizza and brought the biggest, yummiest looking donuts! I opened the lid to peek at them and I wanted one soooooooooooooo bad! My little voice said, "don't do it! d... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 08:33:02 EST A step in the right direction.... <em>244</em> I'm pretty proud of myself. I have started a new diet and have been at it for 2 days.....both of which I have stayed under what I am suppose to have and I have not cheated one time! Everything I've eaten is healthy....well, maybe not the diet coke, but it was diet! My glucose numbers were down this morning! yay! I finally hit fasting 113 and in the middle of the day 96! I haven't been able to get under 158 so that is exciting. I haven't changed my medication dosage so it'... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:01:20 EST FAILING TO SUCCEED quote I read to day on "Everyone fears failure. But breakthroughs depend on it. The best companies embrace their mistakes and learn from them " <BR> <BR> I know I make the mistake that if I struggle, if I can't attain a goal, I just give up. I feel like a failure. I ask myself, when I don't attain a goal why do I want to give up? Did I not reach it for lack of trying or did I really try and still not reach it. To be honest with myself, it's probably not trying. I think ... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:41:37 EST Emotions I've always fed my emotions with food, whether good ones or bad ones. Right now, I'm dealing with some bad emotions. I want to say who cares and just eat whatever cuz that's how I deal with things, but I can't do that anymore. I can't let things in life control me but it's hard. <BR> <BR> How do you manage so many different emotions at the same time! My daughter from Germany was coming home around the first of April and I was going to see my newest grandbaby who would be around 4 months ... Sat, 7 Jan 2012 03:24:36 EST PREPARING FOR 2012! It is that time....a time of resolutions and new determinations. I ask myself why make one, I'll just break it. But I want to be done with that attitude. I need a new attitude! So what if I screw up. Babies don't come out's a process but they never stop. I'm upset with myself, I keep loosing the same pounds. But, I refuse to give up. I was doing good then the holidays hit. I knew I wouldn't loose and may gain because I haven't gotten to the stage where I am willing to ... Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:28:57 EST Thanksgiving I am so thankful for my family and friends and to those of you who have encouraged me to strike toward my goal.....I know I overate today and I'm not going to even record it, cuz I think we all deserve this free day! Fri, 25 Nov 2011 00:39:59 EST Why you should check nutrition info BEFORE you eat it! okay so I have a friend that asked me to go to Applebees with him for Veterans day....he got to eat for free and he was paying for mine so....oh yeah, I'm going! I looked all over the menu and finally found a dish......sounded healthy....chicken broccoli fettuccine pasta with garlic bread....ooooooooooooh man was that ever delicious!!!! I even was good and got water with lemon and not the mountain dew I wanted soooooooooo bad! Pat on the back....well.....I come home, get online to check the... Fri, 11 Nov 2011 22:46:31 EST WEIGH IN AT WORK RESULTS..... <em>104</em> LOST 2.2 lbs this week!!!!! whoooooooooooooooooooo Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:42:56 EST weigh in day at work today...... Not feeling very good about weigh in day.....I'm scared I'll have gained what I lost....we shall see. <em>29</em> Thu, 10 Nov 2011 08:15:38 EST Sigh.... Good day til supper....took seconds and had 2 brownies.....then had a stomach ache! <em>46</em> Tue, 8 Nov 2011 02:32:47 EST A glimmer of hope... Friday was weigh in day at work....I really expected to have gained weight because of an emotional trigger that caused me to say who cares, I doesn't matter anymore and man did I scarf more food that day than I normally would NOT on a diet! When I wrote it all down, I was so humiliated I ate all that! I didn't feel better either. I was telling myself I shouldn't be eating it...all the while continuing to eat. :( The next day, not quite so bad, but still didn't eat so healthy. But....when... Sat, 5 Nov 2011 19:11:40 EST bad day <em>46</em> I'm definitely an emotional eater....I let someone beat me down and hurt me emotionally and what do I do.....go crazy with food! I had 3 slices of pizza, 2 donuts and a mountain dew...not caring a rip about anything. But....when I got home everyone wanted to go to McDonald's and my first instinct was so what, who cares, I've ruined today anyway.....instead, I pulled up the nutritional chart on my phone and found the food with the lowest fat and got that. I ate only a small a... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 23:31:11 EST A NEW DAY.....A NEW CHANCE TO SUCCEED I have said for a long time that I need something to motivate me....IF ONLY there was something big enough for me to have the desire to say NO to the bad things and YES to the good things....I would do it! Now in my mind, big is defined as a lot of money or if someone would guarantee that if I lost to my ideal weight....they would send me to Germany to see my daughter and my grandbabies! Well, I have some motivation, just not THAT motivation lol My department at work has decided to do a BI... Sat, 29 Oct 2011 11:26:23 EST How do you get motivated when you have no motivation! <em>29</em> I don't know how to motivate myself. I'm tired of looking so heavy and I'm tired of feeling like the good year blimp. I tell myself I want to loose weight, I want to feel better, but then I just can't seem to get it all together and just start something. I just feel blah. I'll start going through recipes and trying to get everything planned out, but I give up before I start, it seem so overwhelming. When I have started, I'll loose some but then I just stop doing everythi... Wed, 26 Jan 2011 02:44:35 EST FRUSTRATED I feel like such a looser sometimes because I never stick with anything long enough for me to accomplish a goal. It takes me forever to get motivated and it doesn't take any time at all for me to loose the motivation and give up. The best I have done was when I lost 50 lbs on a low fat diet but then I gained it all back. Now my sister-in-law is encouraging me to go on this no carb diet for 8 weeks to reset the pancreas which sounds like a good idea but when I sit down and try to plan it, I... Sun, 4 Jul 2010 02:37:10 EST Something is working! I've been walking every night or almost every night with my daughter and I'm seeing the numbers go down on the scale and it's only been a week of walking! Yay! Tue, 27 Oct 2009 09:18:27 EST