DANCEDIVAMISSA's SparkPeople Blog DANCEDIVAMISSA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Digging even deeper My last entry had some realization that has happened. My journey into self discovery and true healing continue. I have had some more realizations since my last post. First off, I struggle with anxiety. I have for about 14 years now. The first two years, I had no idea what it was. It wasn't until I was about 20 that we figured out I was having panic attacks. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. When my ex-husband got into legal trouble and there was a great deal of stress and a TO... Sat, 11 Mar 2017 23:00:13 EST "Motivation is what gets you started, habits are what keep you going" The quote in my title is my current goal and state of mind. The past 2 years I have spent working through some hard mental stuff. I have worked through some insecurities and some incorrect core beliefs. In the past few weeks, I have learned a ton about myself and had many epiphanies. These have lead me to take a step back and change my approach to what I am doing. <BR> <BR> 1. I didn't start emotionally eating and gaining weight until I married my ex-husband and he found himself in som... Sat, 18 Feb 2017 23:07:36 EST This is a vulnerable post for me I have tried for many, many years to lose weight. I have been an on again, off again member of sparkpeople since 2009. I never struggled with weight before I met my ex-husband. I was actually on the side of too thin, to the point where my doctor would check on me thinking I needed to gain weight. Now I know it is all too common for people to gain weight when they get married because they get comfortable but I don't think mine was that. <BR> <BR> I am currently reading a book by Jon Gab... Thu, 8 Dec 2016 00:00:51 EST Desperate Updated is needed!!! Wow! It has been a really long time since I have had a blog entry here! I have been using another online journaling tool and been absent here. I have finally gotten back to my pre-baby weight from Lady bug. It feels good to be there but I still have about 40 pounds that I would like to lose. So here we are again. I have been terrible with my eating and battling some job burnout. I am basically doing two peoples jobs both at work and at home. <BR> <BR> I realized that the last time I ... Sun, 9 Oct 2016 23:05:22 EST Sugar Rock Bottom Well post baby, I feel like I am starting at square one. While I was pregnant, I allowed my sugar addiction creep back in. I started eating sugar and now afterwards, that monster has been awakened. I want sugar all the time. Between breastfeeding and being tired (one of my triggers) I am really struggling. Today I kind of hit rock bottom. Which I needed...clearly. Well it time to start over. I need to get my sugar in check. I am going to complete taming my sweet tooth again and rest... Mon, 26 Jan 2015 21:02:27 EST Procrastination and Self-worth I just posted two new blog posts this week over at awakening genesis. One is about procrastination and the other is self worth!!! Come over and check them out. Leave your comments below! I would love to hear what you think!!! <BR> <BR><BR>015/01/23/am-i-worth-it/ Sat, 24 Jan 2015 01:43:50 EST I broke up with my scale! Come over to my personal blog and find out why I am breaking up with my scale!!! <BR><BR>015/01/16/i-broke-up-with-my-scalemeli<BR>ssa/ <BR> <BR> Leave me a comment and let me know what you think Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:42:54 EST Update and new blog! Hello all!!!! I have a lot of updating to do! I had my beautiful baby girl on December 10th and have been recovery nicely. We are both doing well and adjusting to the new normal. <BR> <BR> I have started a new blog with a friend following our journeys to getting healthy and fit! I posted my first entry today. Come check it out and follow us on facebook: <BR> <BR> the blog is <link> </link> <link> </link> Tue, 13 Jan 2015 18:48:50 EST Preparation You know what they say, "failure to plan is planning to fail." Well I tried to avoid that today. With my wonderful husband's help, we prepared a TON of meals to either crockpot or reheat for the month of December. We have a baby due on the 16th (Not sure I will make it that long) and that means a cut in my pay check. Now this, as I see it, is a good chance and motivation to cut out spending the money to eat out. Together with about an hour preparation (plus some cooking time), I prepared a... Sat, 29 Nov 2014 00:46:54 EST The Power of Habit I have been reading the Power of Habit and have realized that in order to make a real. lasting life change, I am going to have to alter habits. I have several books on habits right now and I am just taking everything in. My first habit to alter was my spiritual life. My main cause of my weight gain 6 years ago was what was eating me, the struggles I was going through. I still have pieces of that challenge that are lingering. I am working to rectify and heal from them but I figured that w... Sun, 23 Nov 2014 23:56:29 EST Preparation is everything...or at least it helps. This weekend I put together some meal preparations for lunch and snacks at work. I also pre-made bags of nuts, granola, and made "make ahead" smoothies. Today, I avoided dessert sugar and made sure I ate enough good nutrients. I had fruits, veggies and protein. I feel so much better tonight! I feel like I accomplished quite a bit and I didn't just want to do nothing when I got home. I was motivated. I am sure God has a lot to do with this as well. I prayed about my motivation and insp... Mon, 20 Oct 2014 23:15:55 EST In a rut Alright all. I have a confession. I am in a rut. I have been moody, tired, emotional, and depressed. I know some of this is just being in my 3rd trimester/8th month of pregnancy but I don't like it!!!! I have been eating WAY too much sugar and the addiction is definitely returned. I know that I am craving sugar and carbs because I am tired but I have less will power. I need to get back to beating this sweet tooth before this baby come. This is a rough time of year to conquer a sugar ad... Sat, 18 Oct 2014 19:44:37 EST New blog post at journeying into faith Check out my recent post over at journeying into faith <BR> <BR><BR>2014/09/mindset-is-everything.html Sat, 13 Sep 2014 17:43:06 EST The sugar is taking over! My goodness!!!!! I cannot control my sugar lately it seems...while of course it actually is within my control, I am failing at it!!! I started eating way too much sugar and that starts a downward spiral! I start feeling depressed and then I eat more until I get to the point where it is out of control. WEll that cycle has started over and is going again. So I am back at step one of the taming your sweet tooth. I am almost all the way through week 1. Wow did I consume a lot of sugar this w... Fri, 12 Sep 2014 00:11:10 EST Mindset is everything I was reflecting on the day today and I realized that mind set is everything. It determines if you are healthy or sick, successful or quit, etc. Henry Ford summed it up well, "Whether you think you can or you think can't you are right." How does this pertain to weight loss? <BR> <BR> I think it is THE factor. If you had met me 5 years ago (about when I started sparkpeople) you would have seen a girl who was insecure, unsure of who she was, overweight and always on some fad diet. When I... Tue, 12 Aug 2014 00:37:55 EST Avoidance Well here I am to write the blog entry that I have been purposely avoiding. If I write this then I have to take action and move on to the next step and I am not completely ready. I completed Taming your sweet tooth week 1, which was to track your sugar. Wow!!!!! I ate SO much sugar. My sugar addiction is back in full force. It is time to do something about it, as much as I don't necessarily want to. Week 2 is to choose 3 areas of sugar to substitute. Well here is the thing I found out tr... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 23:44:07 EST Progress this week so far I have restarted the steps that produced success for me when I lost more than 60 pounds after having my son. Right now my goal is not weight loss because I am 4 months pregnant but to be healthy. Healthy is better anyway and those habits, will produce weight loss. I am back on the taming your sweet tooth plan. Week one. So far I have done well tracking my sugar intake. This week it hasn't been too bad. I do well when I pay attention and am accountable to myself. Step one in the get he... Fri, 25 Jul 2014 00:43:52 EST The Human Condition I love to watch shows that have an ongoing plot line and I am someone who is probably guilty of watching too much tv. I don't watch it for something to do because I am bored or as a mindless thing to do. I watch tv for the same reason I like to read a good book, watch my husband play a story line video game, people watching or to go see a play. I am interested and intrigued by the human condition. Everyone has a past, a story, a purpose. I love exploring that and learning what people's s... Mon, 21 Jul 2014 01:42:52 EST I am back Well...I am back. I feel like coming here is like an AA meeting for me. It keeps me accountable and I stay better on track. I have slid backwards...I am back to being a sugar addict. I have been eating sugar like it is no body's business!! So back to square one with one little difference. I am pregnant this time around. I am almost 19 weeks and have wanted sugary thing after sugary time to get back on track Sun, 20 Jul 2014 22:56:41 EST Confessions of a Sugar Addict- Part 3 Body Image I just posted a new blog post about my last few weeks on step two of the "Taming your Sweet Tooth Challenge" from here, my progress and my thoughts on Body image. Come on over and check it out!!! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>4/03/confessions-of-sugar-addict-body-<BR>image.html </link> Sat, 29 Mar 2014 01:59:10 EST My it works journey and company I have been using products from a company called it works and getting great results!!!! If you want to see my personal results check out my facebook page! It is attributed to the wraps, greens and eating a healthy diet. <BR> <link><BR>it-with-MM/238382149680861 </link> Sat, 29 Mar 2014 01:57:17 EST Is it really an addiction? Well here I am. Prepared for the week and ready to go. I am ready to get on it this week. I have been doing a ton of research on how to beat this addiction. I know that sounds silly and many people out there are like, "suck it up and just stop eating sugar!" If it were that easy, trust me, I would have already but I am having to play mind games with myself and get me out of these bad habits. I am ready...bring it on!!!! I am bring God into this more and focusing on my time with him this w... Mon, 17 Mar 2014 00:00:07 EST My name is Mel and I am...a Sugar Addict Part 2 I promise I will come back to blogging here soon! but until them come check out my new blog post on Journeying into Faith <link><BR>4/03/my-name-is-mel-and-i-ama-sugar-ad<BR>dict_15.html </link> <BR> <BR> Also, come check out my facebook page <link><BR>it-with-MM </link> Sun, 16 Mar 2014 00:05:20 EST If you are tired of starting over...stop giving up Newest post. Come check it out!! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>4/03/if-youre-tired-of-starting-over-t<BR>hen.html </link> Wed, 12 Mar 2014 00:27:19 EST My name is Mel and I am...a Sugar Addict New post on my blog! I start my confessions of a sugar addict series. Come follow me through this growth process. Go check it out. Sun, 9 Mar 2014 17:05:21 EST New entry I have started a new blog and just posted my first entry. Go check it out! <BR> Wed, 5 Mar 2014 00:11:56 EST Signed up! So I FINALLY signed up for 5k. I am hoping this will motivate me start a workout program! I have about 90 days to hit my target weight and 83 days until the race! I have 2 friends and a sister-in-law doing the race with me. I am so excited. I am going to start journaling more with my progress. This week I would like to do some cardio, yoga and work out 4-5 days. My eating goal this week is to eat 7-9 servings of fruit each day, drink enough water. <BR> <BR> My husband and I are also... Sun, 2 Mar 2014 20:37:36 EST Week 5 update Well...I fell. I fell far off the doing well wagon! This week I fell hard. I have eaten like junk and horrible all week this week. This was bound to happen. It is like recovering from any addiction. There are times that I will be prone to relapse and going back into my old ways. I have tons of excuses as to why, it was cold, I was bored, my husband was home and we were celebrating, etc. I have a million reasons. But the don't matter. It doesn't matter if they are justified or not.... Thu, 6 Feb 2014 18:01:43 EST Weeks 3 & 4 update Weeks 3 &4 went great for me!!!! I did wonderful at all of my goals. Housework, mood, eating and working out. Week 3 I mainly focused on keeping my house managed and eating fruits and veggies. I did great! I even had days that were mostly vegetarian. Most days I ate anywhere from 7 to 10 servings of fruits and veggies. I felt great. I had a good with with eliminating refined sugars as well...until the weekend that is. My husband was off and we binged... I had all sorts of sugar. I fel... Sat, 1 Feb 2014 17:06:13 EST New Post! Come check out my new post on my non-sparkpeople blog <BR> <BR> http://confessionsofagodlywife.blogspot.<BR>com/ Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:38:25 EST Week 2 update! One to week 3 Wow! This week flew by! I had a great week working towards my goals until the weekend. I struggle with the weekends because there is less structure, more temptation and I don't react well to that. <BR> <BR> The work week went great! I kept up with my house work, prayer journal, water intake, eating healthy/at home (2 veggies/fruit per meal) and even got two work outs in (hey it is better than none). <BR> <BR> I earned $5.50 towards the book setting I am working towards. I also decid... Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:18:57 EST This up coming week Well, I go back to work tomorrow after 16 days off with my monkey. I feel prepared. I chopped a TON of veggies today so that I can quickly cook, grab and go. I have meals planned all week for the crockpot until I break my fast food vice. I am WAY less likely to stop and get something if I have already cooked something at home. Tomorrow is Chicken on Root veggies. I also made smoothie packs and veggie grab and go packs. I am ready to make changes, be prepared, kick butt and take names. ... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 00:27:46 EST First week of the year check in This year I am making small but consistent changes in my lifestyle, just like I did last year. About this time last year, my husband and I decided to make some changes, permanent changes to our lifestyle. We began cutting out sugar or cutting back and adding in some good choices. We were successful. My husband lost 60 pounds and I lost 26 pounds (and I have lost 56 since having my monkey in April of 2012). Even when I had days, weeks, months where I back slid, I have not gained any of th... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 01:45:57 EST First week of the year check in This year I am making small but consistent changes in my lifestyle, just like I did last year. About this time last year, my husband and I decided to make some changes, permanent changes to our lifestyle. We began cutting out sugar or cutting back and adding in some good choices. We were successful. My husband lost 60 pounds and I lost 26 pounds (and I have lost 56 since having my monkey in April of 2012). Even when I had days, weeks, months where I back slid, I have not gained any of th... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 01:45:56 EST Food, addiction and God These past two weeks have been a time for reflection and revelations. God has revealed a lot to me and I have been seeking him out more than usual. It has been wonderful. I have had time to get my life caught up and more organized. I have spend more time praying and in the word. I can tell and I can feel the difference. My focus lately has been on healing and dealing with what is eating me. I have learned how much I NEED God. I cannot even do my day to day tasks without Him. <BR> <... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 01:21:19 EST New years eve Well it is new years eve and we are saying goodbye, closing out another year. I feel like New years eve makes people reflect on the past year and look towards the future of the new year. It is the time of year where everyone vows how they are going to change and they jump in full force for 7 days or so. I am really not that different then everyone else. This last day of the year had gotten me thinking and reflecting on my life and where it currently is at. <BR> <BR> I am not happy with ... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 15:51:45 EST Who am I? I actually started my last post off with these particular things in mind by my mind actually took me somewhere else and it was way more profound then I intended it to be at the beginning. Ah the therapy of journaling right? <BR> <BR> Any way, Who am I? is a question that I have been asking myself a lot lately. Who am I and who do I want to be? What do I allow to define who I am? I feel like in the last 8-9 years I have forgotten who I am . That could be some of the problems my husband an... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 00:18:38 EST "Holy long walk for a short drink of water" This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. I am 28 years old and I don't feel like I completely know or understand who I am. I also don't know exactly who God wants me to be. It is something that I have been asking him about regularly in my life. <BR> <BR> Tonight, I turned on spotify and really thought about who I was. I decided, based on a suggestion from an article that I read on here, to listen to some music. I was a musician for many years. Music was my life and ... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 00:06:07 EST Confessions of a Godly Wife Today, I felt led to begin a blog about the lesson I am currently learning and my journey of faith. If you choose, check out my new blog, Confessions of a Godly Wife.<BR>m/2013/10/learning-my-journey.html <BR> <BR> I am not claiming to be a completely Godly Wife but I have felt the conviction to begin this journey and to do the best I can. Read and leave me your thought! Mon, 28 Oct 2013 00:13:25 EST bad day with some realizations Well I feel crushed right now. My husband and I have been really struggling in our marriage for the past 6 months. Tonight was one of those defining nights though. We pretty much decided to separate for awhile and have some space so we can have healing. We decided to try and be friends for right now. Neither one of us is moving out for now. He is going to move into our spare bedroom and we are going to live as roommates for awhile. I am hoping the space will be what we need to reconcil... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 23:56:28 EST Week 3 goals This past week my goal was to limit tv time and spend more time with God. I succeeded... every night after my son went to bed, I turned off the tv or didn't turn it on at all. Instead, I read and spent time with God. I have had a lot of clarity this week and it has been great. This up coming week, I want to continue my goals of coming closer to God but also add eating at home. This is something I struggle with but I know that it is a vice holding me back from several of my goals. So thi... Sat, 19 Oct 2013 17:04:51 EST Burn Scars I had an epiphany a few weeks back that I have wanting to blog about and I finally have the time and the mental capacity. <BR> <BR> So I don't believe most people on here know this because I usually keep it private but it is necessary to know for this metaphor to make sense. I am from Colorado Springs. Over the past two summers we have had the largest, most devastating fires our state has ever seen. <BR> <BR> The Waldo Canyon fire burned the side of the mountain destroying almost 300 ... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 23:09:35 EST 12 week challenge So a couple of blog entries ago I wrote down just a few things. That is part of my 12 week challenge. The reason that I choose 12 weeks is because there were 12 weeks left in 2013 when I began. Last week, my main goal was to be in the Word every day. I was successful all but one day. That is a success for me!!! This 12 week challenge will be small simple goals so that I can be successful. It is kind of like Dave Ramsey's debt snowball but with habits. I also set the goal to drink more ... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 22:53:21 EST For the now. My last blog post was kind of ambiguous but I was just getting thoughts down in the time that I had. I am trying to get my life in order and that includes my weight. I am realizing that my weight is, of course directly related to my eating habits and working out. I feel SO much better when I eat right and when I am active. I have noticed my most direct correlation is between my spiritual life and my eating habits. I am a comfort eater. That was apparent today by what I ate. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 22:47:33 EST This week Daily time with God, Drinking more water, tracking food, attempting workouts. <BR> <BR> Sat, 5 Oct 2013 00:41:29 EST Weeks goals This will be short and sweet. <BR> <BR> -Read Made to Crave and the devotional daily <BR> -Look for God in all areas of my life, spend daily time with him <BR> -Drink more water and take vitamins. <BR> <BR> These goals are simple this week but I need to get control of the "what's eating me" before I can really focus on the "what I am eating" phase. <BR> <BR> ***this is not to say that I will allow myself to go hog-wild and eat whatever and how much I want. This simply means that I am prac... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 16:38:03 EST Gone but not forgotten While I have been gone this summer, I have not forgotten my spark goals. I have been still working towards eating healthier and taking better care of myself. I am down to 207 now! That puts me down and kept off 15 pounds!!!!! I am making healthier choices, although I still have room to grow here and started a fairly consistent workout pattern. I am feeling the benefits of this!!!! I feel better and have way more energy when I work out and eat right. That is motivating to continue doing ... Sun, 25 Aug 2013 16:31:59 EST Made to Crave I have started reading a book called Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst. She suggested that any time I have a craving that I pray about. I am going to give this a shot. Usually when I want something sweet or fattening it is because I am in need of something emotionally. Of course I turn to food, that's what the enemy would want but in all reality, it should be God that I turn to. It is a good practice for my spiritual life and my health. I know that it won't be easy at first or that I will... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:28:40 EST This next week Well I have kind of back tracked my eating plan but for a good reason. My hubby has decided he wants to join me in clean eating and is going to do the weekly challenges with me. So this week, we were pretty much on vacation so this week didn't go great. Tomorrow, we are starting with week 2. I have modified the plan slightly to fit what both hubby and I need. I will post it below. <BR> <BR> Starting tomorrow we are starting back with 2 fruits or veggies per meal. I am also going to wo... Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:10:07 EST Dilemma and struggles This week has not gone as well as I thought it would. I thought this week would be easy! I love fruits and veggies and started out the week great. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday went fantastic. Yesterday went alright but it wasn't the end of the world. I missed a fruit for breakfast but didn't have any at dinner. To me, I thought it happens but I didn't earn my reward for the week. Well, today has gone horribly. I have hardly had any fruits or veggies!!! I understand the it is progress an... Fri, 15 Mar 2013 16:48:52 EST