CYBERCITYSHELL's SparkPeople Blog CYBERCITYSHELL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community How Are You ? What are you feeling/Doing ? Hello Sparkies, <BR> Just dropping in to say hello and to not be a Spark People Recluse who doesn't make any contact anymore. I'm still doing the usual yo yoing up and down the scale. I'm on day two-hehe I know right (for the trillionth time). But I am persistent so I will continue this crazy journey until I reach my destination. <BR> So, how are you doing? Whatever we are doing in life we all are heading somewhere, in some direction. We are at whatever stage, or going threw or passing thre... Tue, 8 Aug 2017 22:11:32 EST My New Look -oo- Hello again Sparkies, I hope that you are in a good space. <BR> Since I last blogged I am restarting yet again. It is day one, after letting the coming(now past)mothers day event coming up I gave in until then. Confusing-I know. But mothers day now has come and gone, so there is no event to let stand in my way. <BR> I am at the end of my annual leave, which I split up throwout the year. I am due back at work on Friday. It has been nice having a break from work. Although it is always amazing... Tue, 16 May 2017 02:13:37 EST Fitting in Special Occasions.. Since losing the three kilos I am still getting straight back on track after a bad day. My son celebrated his 30th birthday over the weekend. And I did eat and drink more than I should of knowing that I didn't want to put any weight back on that I'd lost. Mostly I really over did the fizzy drinks. Although I do like them, I can manage without them.. But I confess I had quite a few drinks of coke and lemon and paeroa. And when attempting to weigh in a day after getting back on track the scales... Tue, 4 Apr 2017 21:43:40 EST Me and the scales are buddies :) I've been sticking to my eating sensibly and weighed in this morning three kilos down <em>9</em> . I have been really good, and have eaten a normal tea at the end of the day every few days. At work I am pretty good and I don't find that too hard. At home I cook the kids their tea and I have my more lower calorie meal. Well I will persevere because I know what I want and every step and every day I will get closer to my goal. <BR> 1) Which is to get in shape <BR> 2)To get fit <BR> 3)To get... Mon, 27 Mar 2017 21:40:21 EST Getting Back Into Action.. Hello Sparkies, I hope you are having a nice day. I haven't worked on my health for so long. I have been suffering severe anxiety and depression so badly over the last few months. And I really must get into serious action. Which is what I am starting from today. Mostly I am going to alter what I eat-to healthier, instead of eating so much rubbish. I mean I know how bad it is , and I know I have piled on yet more weight. Yet my emotional state has been so vulnerable. Before I continue, with m... Mon, 13 Mar 2017 22:39:13 EST Mother Nature, Thanks Giving etc Hello Sparkies, how is everybody? I must say I really haven't been coming in to Spark People so much lately. I love it here, but I just have got a bit lost maybe-I don't know. The year is racing off as fast as it can, and speaking of that-Happy Thanks Giving to everybody that celebrates Thanksgiving. <BR> I'll drop in sooner rather than later. At the moment we are getting together a survival kit incase of another,larger earthquake. We had a 7.8 earthquake in NZ almost two weeks ago. I'm in t... Thu, 24 Nov 2016 00:44:56 EST Day One For The Billionth Time~*~ I have approximately eight weeks to lose as many kilos as possible. A fancy dress party coming up that I would like to look okay at. Ten kilos would be great, but if I aim for five and see what I can do. It's up to me, and five kilos should definitely be manageable. Time will tell <em>192</em> <em>9</em> <em>193</em> <em>9</em> <em>11</em> <em>9</em> Tue, 13 Sep 2016 01:15:24 EST Tick Tick Ticker.. Hello Sparkies, thanks for the birthday messeges and ones to enjoy my two week break from work. My birthday was really nice and I turned 52. The two weeks off work were great, and they did go quickly as expected. I had some nice day trips during my time off. I updated my page the other day. Although my ticker I have not added on the extra kilos that I am now at. I am closer to my starting weight than my present ticker weight. I have decided not to go backwards-including with my ticker. I am... Wed, 24 Aug 2016 21:25:02 EST Half Full, Half Empty. Oh I Must Think Positive!! Hello Sparkies <em>524</em> , it is a cold night here in New Zealand. This winter has seemed to be much colder than it has since I am not sure when. I have this week and next week off work. I like to take our family birthdays off on annual leave when I can. I will be 52 next week. And it will be nice to have this time off work. I must admit, coming up to the time of my annual leave I was looking forward to it. But I was thinking two weeks, I wish it was longer. That sounds a little negit... Tue, 9 Aug 2016 03:28:13 EST A Quick Visit... Hello Sparkies, just dropping in to say hello. I will do a proper blog in the next day or two. I just wanted to blog like I said I would. I hope you are keeping on top of everything and not letting anything stand in your way of whatever you want to achieve. Wed, 20 Jul 2016 04:28:52 EST Hello I dropped in this time!! Just dropping in to say hi-why???? Because I can, because I felt like it. Hello Sparkies, I think I am going to blog more often. Not just because I have something to say, not even just because I have nothing to say. Just because I'm here, and instead of quietly dropping in to spark people and leaving just as quietly. I will say hi or something. So, I hope you are okay and keeping warm. Most of you will be pretty warm, unlike me it is so cold here in wintery little ole New Zealand-kiwiland. An... Fri, 1 Jul 2016 03:45:09 EST Hi Everybody!!!!!!! Hello, it's been like ages since I blogged. I must admit, I preferred the old format. I miss the fonts and colour. But I still love sparkies and I must get blogging and spending more time in here. <BR> I am still working on getting the scales going in the right direction. Two or three good days and then going off track for awhile, and then doing this periodically won't really get me to my goal somehow. But I am on a mission, and I will get there. <BR> I just felt like briefly dropping by to... Tue, 28 Jun 2016 05:23:32 EST I need people on my side instead of against me all the time. Hello, I just need to get out of my low mood that I have been in lately. It's not even my weight that is at the core of my bout of depression right now, it is mostly work. Which of course is something I have to stick with for the obvious-bills etc to pay. I am sure I suffer from PTSD and this job just brings out all my demons that I need to conquer and then some. I know getting myself physically in shape will help to find my next job. But at the heart of all of my battles is my undealt with t... Sun, 7 Feb 2016 18:43:51 EST It's never too soon to consider.... It's never too soon to consider getting in shape,getting healthy,working on goals,anything that you want to do for yourself that will enhance your life. Some say it's never too late, but how about it's never too soon?? The sooner we try, the sooner we commit ourselves to getting started surely the sooner we will achieve our goal-right?? Dedication,commitment, determination, perseverance and many more powerful words to portray our decision to do anything that we want to do, that we often hold... Mon, 25 Jan 2016 20:04:06 EST What is instore for 2016?? I haven't blogged for a long time, but I have been dropping in most days. Hello!!! I hope 2016 finds you in the best health and ready to face whatever the year has to offer. Whatever you have planned, what goals or challenges lay ahead. I am working on getting ready to tackle my increasing size. I am a few kilos above my ticker weight. I prefer not to alter the direction on my ticker even though I am striving to get back down to it. Until then I will get my yo yoing self heading back downward... Fri, 15 Jan 2016 03:25:30 EST Hello I thought it about time to drop in and say hello. I just looked at my profile pictures of spark buddies. It is sure a place where we come and go over time. Some come back, and some stay a little while and get a little lost along the way. One thing for sure it is full of some pretty cool people-sparkies. I hope you are managing to keep on top of your goals-well to keep pushing for them. They are achievable with lots of perseverance. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that we really can d... Wed, 1 Jul 2015 08:01:51 EST Perseverance does pay off I am finally back at my ticker weight, and down a little from that. it has taken awhile to get back down to it. I have been working really hard, eating well and working out. And sticking with it, and not giving up. I see from my private page that I have lost seven kilos since mid May last year. Not exactly speedy, but achievement for sure. I am really working hard and seriously at my health now. I want to achieve it and I am going to do it. My mind has reached the stage that nothing will stan... Mon, 1 Jun 2015 21:44:20 EST If You don't succeed-try again. Yep done that how many times?? I am on day three, just finishing day three for the trillionth time. Yo yo eating patterns of being good until I slip up and then ooops and so on. It's been some years of never giving up now. Tomorrow can be day four and nicely continue in numerilogical (not sure if that is the right word) order. Or it can be back to day one AGAIN, or maybe a week,month,year giving up until next time. The year after year , the life time of yo yoing. Of saying "I am going to do it this time", and actually mean... Thu, 14 May 2015 08:51:55 EST Hellooooooo So much time has passed and not many goals achieved, that is what comes to mind when I thought "how can I start my blog here after so long??" It has been ages since I blogged on this page. I have a page that I keep private while I try to get my thoughts out. A page I started when I was getting closer to turning fifty and I wanted to mark my progress and highs and lows all by myself-until I get ready to share it. <BR> Life has been racing along and I put myself on the "getting healthy train" ... Fri, 8 May 2015 09:07:36 EST Believe in Yourself!! <img src=""> Mon, 24 Nov 2014 08:18:35 EST I'd love your opinion!!! Hello Sparkies, I hope you are on top of anything that you need to conquer. If not, persevere,you may actually get there. Whereas if you quit and except defeat, well the game is over-you lose!! Never quit trying and you are doing well. You will get there in the end. <em>208</em> <em>264</em> <em>209</em> <em>205</em> <em>279</em> <BR> On a different note I just would love other peoples opinions. And I know we all see through different eyes,and that's cool. I know how I feel. W... Wed, 19 Nov 2014 18:33:27 EST Yesterdays Demons~ The dungeon of my past~ <BR> Demons,and trolls~ <BR> Controlling my existance~ <BR> Biting and spitting~ <BR> Clawing,punching~ <BR> Yelling-bellowing~ <BR> Haunting,OMG they're taunting~ <BR> I don't need them, I know~ <BR> They've ruled me so far~ <BR> Hunted,yes dam right~ <BR> They've stunted me for sure~ <BR> Letting them go~ <BR> Throwing them out~ <BR> Taking control~ <BR> Empowering myself~ <BR> I have the power~ <BR> Demons from the past~ <BR> Scarred my exterior~ <BR> Scorched my in... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 03:53:22 EST Just a little bit deeeep and maybe a bit negitive, my life... Hey there Sparkies, it has been a while since I put virtual pen to paper. And did a blog, and I have almost done so a few times. It has been a very changing year in so many ways. With ups and downs, new job that came with so many emotions. Which I told you's about the bullying, there's been the gossip mill. Me facing my trumatic childhood with going back and working in and facing this environment. Where I work is just like stepping into my younger shoes when I used to visit my treasured long ... Sat, 23 Aug 2014 23:40:08 EST You Can Leave Your Brain At The Door Shell!!! Hello Sparkies!! I know I haven't blogged in so long or even changed my status or spent more than a short time in here for so long. But I haven't left, I haven't gone mad, I am still a Sparkie. And dam right-I'M NOT MAD!!! Oh but believe me, for the last few weeks I was beginning to look at myself sideways!! I was questioning my own sanity. And I have been depressed quite a bit, but I believe I am finding myself again. The Shell I know, the weird, and even eccentric one-but not the "Mad Shell... Sun, 27 Apr 2014 04:48:30 EST It's been awhile~*~ Hello Sparkies!! It has been awhile since I have updated what I am up to. I have been dropping by daily, but have not had as much time to hang around. My new job is going well, and I am almost finished doing orientation. Although next month I have a formal orientation day, to complete the ins and outs,and rules, regulations etc of my job. I am a caregiver at a psycho/geriatric hospital. It has a small amount of residents, approximately 50. And it is set into different parts depending on their... Fri, 14 Mar 2014 22:03:00 EST I Got The JOB-OMG I thought I didn't , but I got it. I got the job. After today writing a blog about how dumb I felt because I thought I was going to get the job. And then every time I rang , not hearing back I got it. <BR> It is exciting and it is scarey. A new journey and a new direction after eight and a half years doing the job I do at the moment. Wow, I can't believe it. I am on annual leave at the moment so it is really an ideal time to be moving jobs. I start in March. Yipppeeee. I got it!! Wed, 19 Feb 2014 01:31:25 EST Am I too dumb?? <img src=""> <BR> I grew up believing I was really stupid. As well as being self conscious about my weight as a kid I also was very self conscious about feeling really dumb. Which is one of the reason's I used to not talk often. I mean I did block so much out, that is how I handled my childhood. I did have it drummed in my head from a young age that I was : "an imbecile, retarded,lunatic, cretin etc" referring to dumb. And I have believed... Tue, 18 Feb 2014 17:25:44 EST If I saw Through Your eyes~ If I looked through your eyes <BR> at the world~ <BR> what would I see?? <BR> Would I be surprised~ <BR> Or maybe mesmerised~ <BR> Could I walk in your shoes~ <BR> if I saw through your eyes?? <BR> Would I feel what you feel~ <BR> could I understand~ <BR> where you've been~ <BR> What would I see?? <BR> if I stepped in your shadow~ <BR> Envisioning your emotions~ <BR> seen the places you've been~ <BR> Hearts may be broken~ <BR> Would I see that?? <BR> Could I touch what you feel?? <BR> Should ... Wed, 15 Jan 2014 05:43:20 EST We want to be HEALTHY!! Hey Sparkies, of course we want to be healthy. <BR> Listen to:Crystal-ginger and white chihuahua, <BR> Princess-black and white chihuahua, <BR> Spookie-black fluffy cat, Angel-black and white cat, <BR> Maxi and Asher the two inseparable black cats(father and son). <BR> <BR> <img src=""> Thu, 9 Jan 2014 20:23:20 EST From Crystal,Princess and Spookie~ <img src="">Listen to the pets!!!! Sparkies can do anything, just decide that you want it and go for it!!!!! Thu, 9 Jan 2014 02:09:48 EST Thankyou Sparkies for the comments~*~ Hey Sparkies, thank you for all the comments on my latest blog!! We all like a little recognition now and again !! Most will probably never admit that, but I believe it is true. It's like you hold the door open for someone and they say "thank you". It's funny, but it is in ways a common decency thing to do "to hold a door open when someone is coming behind you". That's cool, but then automatically the person says thank you!! Which also is normal. But I am a person who will hold the door open ... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 08:12:27 EST Yummm, healthy is yummy right!! Hey there Sparkies, hows 2014 going for you so far?? I am going to make this year an eventful year. Of getting my self all ready to face turning fifty. I am going to show the scales that they got a little side tracked and went in the wrong direction. After weeks of eating bad choices and from not being very active to allow for all the wrong foods I over indulged in. Yes I didn't hold back, that's me I do things excessively. If I am going to do something I like to do it in style-well to the e... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 02:53:16 EST Happy New Year Sparkies!! Happy new year Sparkies. I hope you had a wonderful christmas and that the new year has started off with good health and peace. And that you didn't put on too many kilos like I am sure i have. But that is christmas for you anyway. A fun time, but we pay for it later. I think it is worth it though!! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> I am still in christmas mode, I haven't got back into my healthy living just yet. Although I must have dreamed that I... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 01:47:34 EST Actions speak louder than words, and lets avoid the christmas pounds Hi Sparkies, it's the weekend again-yay!!! How have you been ?? I have been pretty good. Although I said I was having a little christmas break I am still sparking and still keeping as active as possible. And it has been one tiring week, i have been walking here there and everywhere!! I don't drive so that means getting buses,trains and walking . My son drives me places a bit and I am so lucky to have such a great son. My daughter is great too, my kids are so cool. My son gave me an early chri... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 21:32:01 EST A bit of a christmas break for me~ Hi Sparkies, <BR> how are you doing?? I almost did a blog a week or so ago. But changed my mind. It is a really hot day here, nice if you can just relax, but murder to walk in. I have got to the stage lately that I am not doing my eating healthy crusade . I am not giving up , it is just not working right now. And I would rather not lose a bit of weight before christmas just to pile it back on over christmas. I think sometimes it can be better not to lose it in the first place if it's just goi... Mon, 2 Dec 2013 19:21:53 EST Is the grass really greener,on the other side?? For the last few days we have had one of our rabbits on the loose. We have two girls and two boy rabbits. And we used to let the boys roam free in the back yard. We have a great back yard for pets,and there is a hill with so much grass and things for them to eat. But don't ask me why but they are just not satisfied. They always would sooner or later find a way out onto one of the neighbours properties or out on the street. Plus they ate half of Dwayne's tress he was proudly growing and his ve... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 05:12:32 EST I Love Spark People!! Hi there Sparkies, I haven't been around that much over the last week. I've been here, but still trying to get back on top again. I think I am back to my usual old self now. And got rid of that downer that took me hostage and wouldn't let me laugh or smile or have fun. But I didn't like being held hostage by miserable moods. So I broke free, and I'm back!!! <BR> Princess and Crystal my babies love sitting on the desk when I'm at the computer. I am not sure if Sammy lets them sit there with h... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 01:38:29 EST The Power of our Mind~ Hi Sparkies, <BR> I am still in a bit of my downer at the moment. I know, I hate to admit it. And I was a little embarrassed about my dark poem blog. Thank you for your comments,and to the sparkies that had never written a comment on my blogs before-thank you <em>2</em> That's me blushing BTW. To the readers that say or think that positiivity wins all the way, well I agree in one aspect. I try to keep my positive side at most times. But realistically I do feel down at times. I love writing ... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 01:48:38 EST The Beginning is the end~*~ My gloomy Mood~ Feeling Bad~ <BR> A little sad~ <BR> Could do some screaming~ <BR> Oh no nothing gleaming~ <BR> Angry things~ <BR> They're attacking my happy mood~ <BR> Oh My Dog~ <BR> I feel like c**p~ <BR> Not so pretty~ <BR> I'm in a sh*tty~ <BR> Why so blue~ <BR> That's how I feel~ <BR> Not like dancing~ <BR> Maybe some music blasting~ <BR> So loud it roars~ <BR> Yeah yeah yeah~ <BR> Glass smashing~ <BR> Where's my boxing gloves~ <BR> Remove this rage~ <BR> Internal bleeding~ <BR> Bellowing demons~ <BR> ... Mon, 11 Nov 2013 00:51:06 EST Our Perception-of anything. Our reality is reality in our eyes!! Hi there Sparkies!! Well it is Saturday yet again and I have just come from facebook. I shouldn't really be online right now, the house is a mess and we are having family around but I am not sure which day today or tomorrow and what time. My sister will text a short time before she intends to come, and if I say can you come a bit later or tomorrow then she might say she'll come next weekend. That's just the way it goes with my lovely sister. As for my brother well I am picking he will come to... Fri, 8 Nov 2013 18:54:17 EST An Interesting Week~ Today is my beautiful daughter Samantha's 17th birthday. It is hard to believe she is seventeen. And it is amazing to think that seventeen years ago I brought this beautiful girl into this world. Children just grow so fast , and in that time we all are aging as well. No, I can't say that I really feel old. I've celebrated 49 birthday's and I am still young at heart. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> This picture was taken in January. I was dressi... Thu, 7 Nov 2013 06:15:01 EST Way back when-oh things were so different then!! Hey hey it's Saturday. And that is wonderful, Saturdays can never come fast enough sometimes. And as good as that is if they go too fast, we will speed through time too quick to enjoy them-and every other day too. So, I am going to enjoy this day today. And live every moment like if it is so precious. And thinking about that, every moment is a moment we will never live again. There will be happy, estatic,sad,tragic, fun,so many moments. And them moments will travel us through our universe we ... Fri, 1 Nov 2013 20:56:46 EST Grapes that have been sitting on top of the garlic=not so good tasting!! Hi there Sparkies. It was a long weekend here, today was labour day. Labour referring to work, not being in labour!! Just being silly. Being in labour, well I've been there done that. And my days of doing that are well and truely gone. I have two amazing kids who are incredibly cool kids. Even though Dwayne is no longer a kid. Sammy will be seventeen soon. And that is hard to believe. Kids just grow up so fast. Although I seem to have had more time with Dwayne growing up. Whereas Sammy seemed... Mon, 28 Oct 2013 03:19:30 EST It's Friday-yay, TGIF Hi Sparkies, <BR> <img src=""> <BR> It's Friday night-yay!!!!! I am looking after my great nephew Deklyn tonight. He is seven, and a pretty cool kid. This is a picture of Deklyn and I one time he stayed, about a year ago. I like mucking around with the camera on the computer and so does he. I really find there is never any reason to get bored, bored is equivalant to boring. I mean it means you have time, to do something. And I never have ... Fri, 18 Oct 2013 02:44:45 EST It started off, and then it got deeeeeep... Hi Sparkies, I'm just sitting here and spending time in both facebook and here. <BR> I had a sneaky peek on the scales. And scales are great at showing us our little "indiscretions". Like when we have not been as good as we want to be. I think I could be completely grey by the time I get down twelve kilos. when I get to redye my hair. Okay, the truth is that does not bother me so much. I might even go over twelve before I do my hair. But I do want to get down twelve kilos. That is only one g... Sat, 12 Oct 2013 01:53:38 EST This that and OMG we are so lucky to live in two worlds at once~*~ Hey there Sparkies!! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> This is just a photo. Not related to the blog at all. It's Friday guys, no need to have a connection or a reason. This was the year 2003, I remember because I went out with this weird psycho guy. I didn't know that he was a psycho until we split up. Hey,, but that's another story. The picture shows me and my beautiful kids Dwayne and Sammy . That psycho guy got cut out the photo. But never min... Fri, 11 Oct 2013 00:57:56 EST Love it and Lose it!! Hey there Sparkies, I hope you are having a wonderful day today. I am a little tired right now and thought "blog, blog about it". So I think I will!! In the title "Love it and lose it" I am referring to love your food and your work out and lose weight because you are doing what you like. I have just finished my longest workout I have done using my 2 kilo dumbells. <BR> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <em>362</em> <BR> And I ... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 23:40:17 EST Saturday, I love Saturdays~*~ Hey Hey it's Saturday-yay!! Hi there Sparkies. I've just been catching up with sparkie friends and thought I should write a blog. No topic just a blog. <BR> I've just got the kids tea ready and thought I would get my tea ready too. I wasn't sure what I was going to have. Although I am making sure I always have something healthy in the house for my healthy options. I settled for crackers with tinned tuna done in tomato and basil. <BR> <em>492</em> <em>274</em> <BR> I like to include t... Sat, 5 Oct 2013 05:15:00 EST What Motivates You?? I have not been exercising that much lately. Well, I have been but not as much as I was a few weeks ago. And you know it doesn't matter what I say it is the actions at the end of the day that are going to make me lose weight. I can fill the pantry and fridge up with healthy food options. I can have the treadmill sitting here in the kitchen as it is. Have my cute colourful dumbells sitting by the computer. But the treadmill isn't going to do the exercise for me. The dumbells aren't going to li... Tue, 1 Oct 2013 01:07:09 EST Is the grass greener anywhere, what do you think?? Hi there Sparkies, <BR> <img src=""> <BR> yay it's Saturday!! I got to go out yesterday, although it didn't go as expected or planned. But hey that is how it goes-nothing really goes as we think it will. While I was on the train I was thinking about the grass being greener on other pastures. And I am not a jealous person, I really don't like jealousy. I think that is a negative emotion I just don't like. I am a kiwi and sometimes I thin... Fri, 27 Sep 2013 20:32:14 EST