CURVYGURL8's SparkPeople Blog CURVYGURL8's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community THREE THINGS I WANT BACK I want my healthy, my happy, AND my SEXY back!! Not in any particular order, necessarily, but I definitely want all three returned to me. After connecting with a friend who has lost 70 pounds, and looks so happy she glows, I downloaded My Fitness Pal on my phone, and decided to get my mind right. I find their food tracker a lot more user friendly, but believe that nothing compares to the encouragement and love I get from Sparkpeople. Saturday mornings will be my weigh-in days. I'm claiming a ... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 23:48:35 EST BIGGER THAN EVER BEFORE--UGH! I got on the scale this morning and was shocked and disgusted by what it read. I have GOT to get a handle on this thing once and for all. I hate all the hype that surrounds January 1st of each year. I don't want to be one of those who jump on the ""I'm going to lose weight this year" bandwagon, who starts out all gung-ho, then fizzles out within the first month or so. But Ive got to do something. . . .I know that Sparkpeople has everything I need to be successful. Lord, please help me to full... Sat, 28 Dec 2013 00:02:04 EST Wow! I can't believe it's been six months since I've blogged! Time really does fly when your life is in major flux. I moved out of state, got a new job, and gained back pretty much every pound I had lost in the last year. No use crying over spilled milk. I'm back now, and ready to do the work. I know that Sparkpeople works, so the decision to return was an easy one. I will update my goals, etc, tomorrow. I have accepted that I cannot do this alone. I am leaning and depending on God to once and for all give me peace and freedom from my food addiction. Pl... Sun, 1 Dec 2013 21:53:06 EST Another day. . . I did pretty well today, eating-wise. Tomorrow I will be completely on track with both eating and exercise. I bought a new dress yesterday, and absolutely LOVE the way I look in it. Six more pounds and I will comfortably be back in my "cute clothes!" Sat, 8 Jun 2013 22:37:57 EST Feeling good, looking good! Just 22 more days before vacation, and six more pounds to go. I'm doing really well on my water, and though I haven't been tracking my food, Ive done a great job of making healthier choices recently. Feeling the bloat of those ten re-gained pounds was very motivating for me. I had just purchased two summer dresses, which fit perfectly. That ten pounds has prevented me from wearing either of them in public, and I am DETERMINED to wear them on vacation. It can, and it WILL happen. It felt goo... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 12:53:30 EST Ten Pounds Regained-- PLAY TIME IS OVER!! I have now regained ten of the 30 pounds I previously lost. I'm not happy about it, but I refuse to beat myself up, after all, it could have been more. Wave bye bye to that ten pounds, though, because it's going DOWN!! Thu, 23 May 2013 10:31:27 EST It's been a while I know that I haven't Sparked in about a million years. Having said that, though, the past is the past. I get back on track tomorrow. Before bed tonight, I will map out my eating for tomorrow, as well as my exercise. No big lofty goals this time. My goal at this point is to lose five pounds. Once I have accomplished that, we will concentrate on the next five. As for exercising, I'm committing to 30 minutes three times a week. I wont have ANY excuse not to meet that. Pray for me, y'all. Time i... Sun, 14 Apr 2013 21:03:00 EST Yet another fall from grace. . . I have been on an ugly eating binge for the past five days, but it stops TODAY. I've been stressing majorly over my son, and what I am slowly coming to accept may be an ADHD diagnosis. This has been painful and frustrating for both of us, but of course I turned to my old frenemy, FOOD, as usual. I actually feel physically sick from all the junk I've eaten, because I had gotten away from eating fast food and food heavily laden with fat. I've regained a couple of the pounds I had just lost, but... Tue, 29 Jan 2013 08:09:38 EST 1.8 Pounds to go til I'm Back on Track!! I stepped on the scale this morning and I am down another pound. I am only 1.8 pounds from getting back to my 30 pound weight loss. THANK YOU, JESUS!!! I've gotten back to exercising and more importantly, drinking my water. I'm so happy to be on the right track, once again! Thu, 17 Jan 2013 16:23:22 EST Scared Slim I love reading weight loss success stories. They serve as a constant reminder to me that others have faced the fight with flab and won. If they can do it, then most certainly I can, too. Anywho, this evening I read a story about a lady who had lost well over 100 pounds. She shared that her Aha moment came after falling in the backyard and breaking her ankle. She was so heavy that her hubby could not pick her up off the ground. Instead, he had to bring a sheet outside, roll her onto it, and dr... Sun, 13 Jan 2013 23:50:32 EST Water Aerobics was phenomenal! What a terrific way to start my day. This was by far the best water aerobics class I have ever attended. The instructor was great. She was actually in the water with us, instead of barking orders from the floor; she didn't have us doing a lot of excessive splashing (we black women have too much to do to our hair to risk getting it wet!), and best of all she gave us an all over workout.. The water was nice and warm, too, which was a huge plus. I can't wait to go again. Until I lose enough w... Sat, 12 Jan 2013 12:58:32 EST Water Aerobics, Anyone? I've been sidelined from doing much in terms of exercising because of yet another flare-up of back pain, as well as chronic knee pain. Tonight I decided to make a plan B, so starting tomorrow, I'm going back to water aerobics. I've done it two or three times in the past, but not in the last three or four years. I checked the class schedule at my gym, and lo and behold, they have a class tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. AND childcare!!! Talk about having NO Excuses!??! <BR> <BR> At 43, I am far to... Fri, 11 Jan 2013 23:18:52 EST Hopeful and Determined While reading a post of a fellow Sparker, I stumbled across the sentence that sums up why I want to lose weight. More than looking great, feeling sexy, buying cute clothing, etc. I wish I could remember her spark name, so that I could thank her, but that sentence really hit the nail on the head. It went something like this: I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN TO MY CHILDREN LATER IN LIFE BECAUSE I DIDNT TAKE CARE OF MY HEALTH NOW. Preach!!! That one sentence forced me to get off my tush and really ... Thu, 10 Jan 2013 15:52:35 EST Yaaaay!! I gained six pounds!!! Or more specifically, I ONLY gained six pounds in the months that I have been completely off program. YES, I count that as a success. Believe me, it could have (and probably should have) been much worse, given the manner in which I ate, slept, and ate some more. So even though I feel terribly bloated, the scale was good to me. <BR> I'm starting again, very slowly, but at least I'm starting. This is not the person I want to be. This is not the mom, friend, employee, woman, mate or anything el... Wed, 9 Jan 2013 13:30:10 EST FABULOUS BY 45??!!!! I logged on and read several success stories this evening, in an attempt to motivate myself to get back on track. One that really caught my attention was titled "Fit by 40". She chronicled her journey to improve her health before her 40th birthday. It resonated with me, for some reason. I started thinking that maybe I'm going about this thing all wrong, goal-wise. I keep setting these "lose x number of lbs by this date or this event." Then, of course I start panicking a week before that deadl... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 22:41:24 EST Today started out with a bang, but ended as a bust!! What can I say? I had a battle with some Oreo cookies,and lost, MISERABLY. Before that, though, my day started out pretty well. I had eaten a pb&j for breakfast, and snacked on a crisp andv delicious Jazz apple afterward. Then I waited too long to eat lunch, which resulted in me hitting the hot food section at Walmart. From there, things went downhill. BUT because I'm determined to end each day on a positive note, at least I managed to track all of it, AND I did get ten minutes of exercise i... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 23:38:11 EST I've missed you guys!!! Whew! It feels like its been forever since I've been on Sparkpeople. I haven't exercised or counted calories in nearly a month. I was shocked to discover that I've ONLY gained five pounds, as I've been eating like a horse. <BR> <BR> But that's the past, and I'm back, and determined to rid myself of these five pounds, and lose another ten before the first of the year. Wish me luck! Wed, 10 Oct 2012 14:56:52 EST My Goals for the week of September 2nd, 2012 I am going to list goals for the week each Sunday, in yet another attempt to stay on track. <BR> <BR> I will plan my meals ahead every day this week <BR> <BR> I will drink eight glasses of water every day <BR> <BR> I will exercise for a minimum of ten minutes each day <BR> <BR> Let's get it! Sun, 2 Sep 2012 15:49:17 EST SEPTEMBER MOTIVATION I absolutely LOVE September. Fall is my favorite season, for so many reasons. It's easier and more enjoyable to exercise because the weather isn't so miserably hot; it's beautiful because of the falling leaves, and all the colors; and I feel sexy and confident when I'm wearing boots, pretty sweaters, and jackets. <BR> <BR> Soooo, because I am so motivated by others who make monthly goals, I am going to make a few myself: <BR> <BR> My big one: Thirty pounds lost by January 2, 2013 (exactly f... Sun, 2 Sep 2012 15:38:40 EST HELP ME, PLEASE!!! I CANNOT stop eating!!! Today has been one of those days that I can't seem to stop eating, and I'm not talking about raw veggies and fresh fruit, either. I'm talking about the good stuff: pizza, homemade chocolate chip cookies, etc. <BR> This is insanity. Just this morning I looked in the mirror and thought "Wow, I just love the way my face is getting so lean and oval shaped, as opposed to the big round face that was looking back at me four months ago." <BR> Then, this evening, I find myself in the midst of an all ... Tue, 21 Aug 2012 21:45:35 EST I know that's it's been a while, but I'm back now! I stepped on the scale today and was happily surprised to find my weight back on track, after going on a cruise last week and eating like it was going out of style. I weighed myself when I got back on Monday, and was up almost seven pounds. Then today, I was back to my former weight. I suspect that I was just super-bloated from all the salt and junk I ate. I also think because the ship was so big, and there was sooo much walking, that the extra exercise may have cancelled out some of the over... Fri, 17 Aug 2012 22:39:29 EST I'm ALIVE!!! I know that it's been a while since I've blogged, but i guess there just hasn't been much to say. Tomorrow i return to work after being off for three weeks post-op, following my breast reduction. My back pain has all but completely disappeared, and I love love love my perky new "girls", LOL! I keep having to fight the urge to show them to people, LOL! My four week post-op appointment is Tuesday, and I am really hopeful that my plastic surgeon will release me to begin exercising again. Never i... Sun, 22 Jul 2012 22:24:06 EST Curvygurl8 Update-- surgery is over!!! I had my breast reduction on June 26th, and had my one week post-op appointment this afternoon. I am very pleased with my new "girls", but frustrated by the new shape of my body. Because I've always had both hips and breasts, Ive considered myself to be a 'big hourglass', but an hourglass nonetheless. My 42H bustline is now a 42D, and my "big hourglass" figure looks more like a big BLOB. My stomach looks so loose and, well, just NOT attractive. <BR> The harsh reality is that this was already... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 00:14:39 EST Those Bleeping Golden Oreo Cookies!!! Uugh! After doing fairly well with my eating, I fell prey to the lure of the Oreo. And I fell HARD!! As in I had a very ugly binge, and when it was over, over half the pack of cookies were gone. Aaaargh! <BR> Today, however, is a new day. I can't un-eat the cookies, and life goes on. My surgery is in six days, and I cannot wait!! The thought of no more back pain AND having perky "girls" just has me over the moon. I've spent the last week lining up post-op help, and buying the things I will... Wed, 20 Jun 2012 09:14:43 EST GREAT NEWS: MY JEGGINGS ARE SAGGING!!!! Yes, it's really true! I bought a pair of jeggings last year, but never wore them. Every time I put them on, I could see cellulite through the denim, which was sooo NOT CUTE. I put them on yesterday, and not only was there no sign of cellulite, but they were actually TOO BIG!!! This was just the boost I needed to hang in there. Coupled with that was the fact that when I got on the scale this morning, I discovered that I had actually made it to the 270's!!!! I haven't been there since... well... Thu, 7 Jun 2012 07:38:09 EST Obese and Jogging-- an interesting combo! I did that whole jog/walk thing again yesterday morning, at the gym, and discovered that a new pair of shoes REALLY DOES make all the difference. My back, legs, and body in general isn't half as sore as it was the last time I attempted jogging. Sooo thankful for the new workout shoes that I got for Mothers Day! <BR> <BR> Eating continues to be a challenge for me (actually NOT EATING is the struggle- I've got the eating down to a science, unfortunately, LOL!), but I am managing to exercise c... Thu, 24 May 2012 12:54:17 EST OUCH!!! Everything I own HURTS!!!! So, after that wild hair I got on Saturday which convinced me to add intervals of jogging into my walking routine, folowed by my son's fifth birthday party on Sunday, I can barely move this morning. Either I am getting old, or I bit off just a touch more than I could chew this weekend. In either case, I was nearly CRAWLING by the time I got into bed last night. <BR> <BR> Needless to say, I also ate junk all weekend, which was NOT my smartest move. especially since I had just bought a suit f... Mon, 21 May 2012 11:01:00 EST I actually JOGGED today!! Thanks to some encouragement from my bestie, I actually amped up my workout today by doing a few intervals of jogging between my walking. I also Zumba'ed two days this week, in an attempt to avoid boredom. Neither of these activities are easy when you weigh what I weigh, OR when you have 42 G "girls". But I just strapped them down with two or three bras, and jumped right in there. LOL! <BR> <BR> Life continues to be interesting, but in the midst of it all,God remains faithful, and that is... Sat, 19 May 2012 23:55:11 EST May started off with a great non-scale victory! Whoo Hoo! Yesterday I wore a pair of pants that had become so loose on me that I found myself pulling them up constantly. So this morning, while trying to decide what to wear, I decided to dig out a few pairs of my "20 pounds and I might be able to wear these again" pants that I had tucked away a year or so ago. Out of five pairs, four of them fit me beautifully!! No muffin top or anything. Plenty of breathing room, too! I couldnt believe it! I was so happy and proud of myself that I almost did a cart... Tue, 1 May 2012 23:40:53 EST Catching up It seems like forever since I've blogged, so I figured I'd better get back to it. Blogging keeps me accountable. Vacation with my Sweetie was awesome. I made fairly good food choices, and I even worked out one day. Mostly, though, I took a spark break, and I don't regret it. I got back on track today, finally. I dragged myself to the gym, and started tracking my food again. It felt good to have a break. It also feels really good to be back on track. <BR> I am also happy to report that I DID ... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 18:00:16 EST I LOVE ME!!!! I went to the gym this morning and had a really good workout. Im also wearing a new dress today that is one size smaller than I previously wore <em>244</em> . <BR> <BR> Also, I ready my spark buddy's blog today, and was reminded that I am in control of my life, my food choices, and my destiny. (Thanks, TJ!). There is power in that knowledge, and too often I take that for granted. Life doesn't just "happen." It actually consists of reactions to my actions, and consequences for my choices. ... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 17:28:44 EST Back in the game!!! Good morning, Sparkpeople! After a weekend of binge eating, I'm motivated and ready to do this. I had a healthy breakfast this morning, and packed healthy snacks for mid-morning. It seems the damage was minimal, as my underwear were falling off this morning, LOL! <BR> My plan is to eat on the low end of my calories this week, and to keep up with my exercising. I have also decided to join the other Sparkers who make goals for each month. Soo, my goals for April are: <BR> **To stay within my... Mon, 2 Apr 2012 10:27:58 EST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: THE PARTY ( IN MY MOUTH) IS OVER!!! Both my pity party AND the party I've had in my mouth all day long are officially over. Besides, the junk didnt even taste as good as it used to, now that Ive been eating the good-for-me stuff. Definitely not worth ruining the hard work that I have put in thus far. <BR> <BR> My tantrum was juvenile, but somewhat neccessary. Now I know for certain that this is truly becoming a way of life for me, and not just another "diet". The weight will eventually drop, and in the meantime I have to foc... Sat, 31 Mar 2012 22:57:31 EST Warning: RANT from a frustrated Sparker-- Grrrr! I've been strugging mentally. I cannot lie. I am quickly becoming very discouraged with this whole process. I've been staying within my calorie range. And I've exercised more in the past two months than I have in the past two years, yet still almost no movement on that damned scale (and at the risk of sounding like a hater, I will admit that I feel even worse when I read blogs that say "week two and I'm NINE pounds down" blah blah blah). DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO LOSE NINE POUNDS IN A ... Fri, 30 Mar 2012 20:56:41 EST So Far So Good... There are 18 days left until I see my long distance sweetie again. I CANNOT wait! I secretly wish I could lose ten pounds between now and then (lol!) but I am aiming for 5. That will put me just four pounds above what I weighed before my hysterectomy two years ago. I MIGHT even agree to take an actual photo with Sweetie on this trip. Up to this point I have refused to allow him to photograph me. In my mind, who the hell wants a pic of me with three chins and no neck?!!? <BR> I especially hat... Sun, 25 Mar 2012 23:30:10 EST 16.4 POUNDS DOWN---I'LL TAKE IT! We get so spoiled with big losses at the scale that a "normal" loss often feels like a disappointment. I had a two pound loss this morning, and felt a little disappointed. I keep comparing this journey to the last time I lost 100 pounds. It happened so much more quickly that time, and I keep expecting those same results this time. I've GOT to stop re-living that experience. I'm almost ten years older than I was then. And I wasn't a mom. Those two factors alone change EVERYTHING! <BR> <BR> In... Fri, 16 Mar 2012 08:46:46 EST Loving my old "new" jeans!! While leafing through my closet this morning trying to decide on what to wear, I happened upon a pair of jeans that I had to retire almost a year ago (since I could no longer even BUTTON the darned things)! Well, not only can I button them now, I am actually wearing them to work today!! Now truthfully, there IS a tiny bit of muffin top going on, but I'm okay with that. Another week, and they will fit exactly as they should. <em>244</em> .. That dang-gone scale may not be moving, but those w... Wed, 14 Mar 2012 14:24:06 EST Satisfactory Sunday I got to the gym late this afternoon, after scrounging around for a babysitter for much of the day. But I DID get there, which is what really counts. I was determined to get in a good workout today, especially with my latest motivation. Late last night, The Sweetie and I purchased airline tix for a weekend getaway to Orlando mid- April. That gives me 5 weeks to lose ten pounds, which is what I need to lose to wear a couple of the cute outfits I want to wear while in Orlando. Im very excited, ... Sun, 11 Mar 2012 22:30:34 EST WHEN YOU ASK GOD FOR HELP, BE SURE YOU MEAN IT! Yesterday I found myself grazing (you know, eating just for the sake of eating). Then at ten p.m. I decided it would be a good idea to go up to McDonald's for some fries (which, once I got there, would have undoubtedly turned into a combo meal of some kind). I got dressed, put on my jacket, and reached for my keys. Only they weren't in their usual place. I ended up looking for those keys for more than 20 minutes, easily. Now several times during my search, I heard my inner voice say "really? ... Sun, 11 Mar 2012 22:07:59 EST Feeling Good---Positive thoughts Prevail!!! I got up AGAIN this morning and hit the gym before work. It's a sacrifice, but anything worth having usually is. I have been chugging my water, and eating my heaviest meal mid-day, instead of at dinner time. I'm feeling hopeful about tomorrow's weigh-in, but have told myself that I should be pleased as long as I don't see a gain. Working out really IS the key for me. As much as I sometimes dread getting there, once I am at the gym, and my music is bumping, and those endorphins make their pres... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 12:30:27 EST Climbing Back in the Saddle-- Thank you, fellow Sparkers! I am glad to report that I DID get up and go to the gym this morning before work (even though now my hair looks like crap, which is why morning workouts DO NOT work well for this sistuh-girl), and got a decent workout on the elliptical. Just as I suspected, the very act of "getting my sweat on" motivated me to get my eating under control again. I plan to stay on the low end of my calories for the next few days, and ramp up my exercise routine a bit, just to keep myself going in a positive dir... Tue, 6 Mar 2012 12:05:32 EST SOS!!!! I am SERIOUSLY OUT OF CONTROL!! Okay, so my birthday was yesterday, but since I was still riding high from my four pound loss on Friday, I felt confident that I was strong enough to stay the course and avoid overeating. I went to the gym on Saturday and had an AWESOME workout, and was pumped. Then, I had girlfriends over on Saturday night for a Girls Night In, and the eating started.. . . And continued. . . . And now I can't seem to stop. I feel like in three days of disordered eating, I have gained back all fourteen pound... Mon, 5 Mar 2012 22:29:17 EST Progress--- Thank you, Lord!! I stepped on the scale this morning and was down 4 pounds. I am soo thankful for the loss. And this week, I can say that I actually earned it. I am learning that what so many other people say really IS true: Keep up on your water, even if everything else isnt perfect, and you WILL see a loss. These last two weeks I have diligently attempted to stay on program, and have done amazingly well. It really helps to have joined those two challenges. Knowing that I have to report in at the end of the... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 08:39:20 EST I am SOOOOOO Focused---yeee haaaaa!! Whoo Hoo! I stayed within my calorie range today, tracked everything, and had an awesome workout at the gym. I am so motivated. All day I've been thinking of all the positive things that will come my way as a result of this weight loss. It feels great to actually be in control of my eating. I'm going to plan my meals for the next two days before I go to bed tonight, in an effort to stay on track. Pray for me, y'all. I want this momentum to LAST! Sun, 26 Feb 2012 19:25:25 EST I LEARNED SEVERAL IMPORTANT THINGS TODAY Today was a good day. One thing I learned today is that I cannot allow myself "free" days. One turns into two, and the saga continues. I CAN, however, occasionally grant myself a "free" meal. <BR> <BR> Another thing I learned today: Challenges are an awesome way to make sure that I exercise. Just knowing that I have to report my success or failure before turning in for the night has a surprising impact on me. There is just something about accountability that works for me. <BR> <BR> The ot... Sat, 25 Feb 2012 23:41:08 EST Okay, Okay-- I'll post my **bleeping* weight gain!!! Last Friday I stepped on the scale and discovered a five pound gain. Since there was no possible way that could be right, I decided not to record it. I was certain that by today that number would have decreased. I am disgusted to report that I am STILL five pounds heavier than I was two weeks ago. Aaaaargh!! <BR> <BR> Instead of focusing on the negative, I will focus on the positive. I've found that I am making much better choices, foodwise. I'm even surprising myself! I went out to lunch a... Fri, 24 Feb 2012 22:27:18 EST Feeling good! I am happy to report that I am still making good choices overall, this week. I haven't exercised since Monday, but the week is not over yet. I haven't been able to keep my "no eating out this month" plan in place, but at least I'm eating better and staying close to my calorie range, LOL! <BR> <BR> I have this wide-leg denim jumper that I bought two years ago, when I was 30 pounds thinnner. I looked fabulous in it, but at the time couldn't find an appropriate event or place to wear it. Short... Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:38:40 EST What is your "Happy Weight?" After last weeks poor choices, I feel proud of myself for remaining within my calorie range for the past two days. I was off work today, and actually went to the gym and got in a great workout. I even got back on the elliptical (only for 15 minutes, but hey, it's a start!). I always feel so wonderful after Ive exercised. Why can't I get addicted to that feeling (instead of meat lovers pizza?!)? <BR> <BR> I've fought several fast food urges recently, as well. Today, I broke down and went to C... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:11:59 EST This is NOT good! I made the mistake of stepping on the scale yesterday morning, and have been on a downward spiral since. I have already decided that I am NOT weighing in tomorrow. I just can't. I hate that the number on the scale dictates so much of how I feel, act, and do. When it's good, I'm motivated and on top of the world. But when it isn't, I'm devastated, and in turn want to eat everything I can get my hands on. Today I had a self-intervention (lol) and have managed to reign myself back in instead of ... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 16:34:02 EST It feels good to be back in the gym! This morning I went to the gym and did 30 minutes of cardio, before rushing back home to take my daughter to work. What a great way to begin my day! I'm very proud of myself, and I am already looking forward to getting back in there on Tuesday. <BR> Other positive news: I absolutely LOOOOOVE pizza, and typically have to avoid it because I can't stop eating it once I begin. Yesterday, I opted to make a homemade one, with thin whole wheat crust, and turkey sausage. YUM! I DID have regular pepp... Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:40:18 EST