CUPCAKE_PIRATE's SparkPeople Blog CUPCAKE_PIRATE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community WWI #2 - First week of balance 10/14/13 <BR> Weigh in: 243.5 lbs <BR> +/-: -4 lbs <BR> Total: -4 lbs <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Overall this has been a good past week. I didn't put anything off limits, my calorie ranges are pretty doable (only went over twice!), and I tracked my food and walked 3 days! Just learning balance, not going in all crazy, seems to be working. My goal was only to lose 1.5 lbs a week and I lost 4! So woo hoo!! <BR> Mon, 14 Oct 2013 09:09:02 EST Weekly Weigh In #1 10/07/13 <BR> Weigh in: 247.5 lbs <BR> Goal #1: 185 lbs <BR> 1.5 lbs/week <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today starts a new beginning, a search to find balance. My weight has gotten out of control in this crazy crappy year.. I'm going to start doing weekly weigh ins. I've been asked to join Weight Watchers with a friend - but I'm going to try and do the "weigh ins" weekly here on Spark instead of going to WW Meetings. When I lost 1... Mon, 7 Oct 2013 20:47:38 EST Eating my way through tragedy I'd started this year with the highest of hopes; my future seemed so bright. Cancer free, happy marriage, healthy dogs, good home, pretty good at work, eating healthier, and starting clomid (fertility treatment) - trying to have a baby. I'd even started doing really well at my 10-minute a day spark exercise streaks... And then March 9th happened. I took my two little shih tzus, Pepper and Sashi to a dog wash fund raiser across town... and they let them out of their crate in the wash room, a... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 10:58:56 EST One year later, and I'm all healed... or am I? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> One year ago today, I was in the hospital... after having a partical nephrectomy for renal cell carcinoma, suffering physically, emotionally, spiritually... And that night was the worse pain in my life. I don't think i twitched a toe, frozen in agony.. <BR> <BR> It's hard to believe that it's been a year. A year? Really? But another part of me is like.. that was a lifetime ago, a nightmare I never want to rel... Thu, 28 Feb 2013 21:28:34 EST Starting Fresh and learning moderation <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today has been a good day. <BR> <BR> I pre-ordered the new Spark book, and started my 3 month trial with Spark Coach. I'm going to let go of this "perfect" mentality. I'm going to, hopefully, for the first time in my life, learn some MODERATION. What a weird word. But I'm gonna do it. <BR> <BR> I got to sleep in late this morning, ok not "sleep" but lie in bed with my dogs and read anyway, had a green smoot... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 20:26:31 EST "You didn't ovulate" It's amazing what damage those three little words can do to a person trying to conceive. I realize it's just the first round of clomid, but for the first time in..years... I let myself hope. I opened myself up to a possibility that's been closed so many times and years before. I let my self envision a life with this possibility. And I did everything right... Except the one thing that a woman should be able to do - even with fertility medication. <BR> <BR> My heart is broken. <BR> <BR> Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:39:18 EST "I'm a big fat cow" That moment - when you walk by the mirror and see yourself. And you gasp, Did I leave the house looking like this? Have I morphed into an unknown version of myself in the past couple of hours? And the guilt hits, and the sadness, and the frustrations... Things that were pushed back as you went along your day... And now, all you can do is see yourself, and every flaw, every pudge, every "mess" you've made. <BR> <BR> It's so easy to wallow in this.. I find myself doing it all the time. I ... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 13:47:02 EST Clomid, here we go.. So it's been a while since I have posted on here. I am now one-year cancer free. Last year was hard... too hard. And I'm ready to move on. And what better way to move on? Trying to have a baby. <BR> <BR> My husband and I first tried to have a baby in late 2006. I have PCOS and Grave's disease (thyroid issues!) so things aren't working right. Back then, my doctor had told me to track my BBT temps, and put me on glucophage. Well, I never had a cycle, I never ovulated, and by early 2008 ... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 23:18:01 EST -25 lbs + Fitbit! 203.5 - That's me at -25 lbs since June 19th - yay!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's crazy that I actually feel THIN on some occasions :) That's me yesterday squeezed into a pair of size 14 pants! <BR> <BR> I also received my FitBit yesterday!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is something I'd been wanting to get for a long while, and I finally decided i deserved it!... Fri, 14 Sep 2012 07:27:55 EST August Recap + lots of food pix! This was supposed to be 'Amazing August!' I like to claim a happy month at the beginning (September will be Super September!) <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I did meet my goal weight for the month, but did not maintain my 2-ish pound 'ahead of the goal line' that i'd been maintaining. And I had several spikes from... guess what? The weekends!!! Why on earth do the weekends derail me?? <BR> <BR> I was able to meet my -20lbs mark!... Sat, 1 Sep 2012 09:04:38 EST Down 20 lbs! With puppy reference pix :) 208.5! That puts me -20 lbs since i started this new groove on June 19th. i'm so excited!! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And just to put it in perspective, that's the weight of my pug yoda! <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR... Sun, 26 Aug 2012 13:02:07 EST Letting go...aka new hair pix! For so long now, I've held on to my long (to me) hair... it's so thick, and this is the longest it's been in my adult life. But It has stressed me out, been so hot, tangled to the point of causing tears, and I finally let go today! i even let go of my blond, which pulled me out of a mini depression two years ago :) <BR> <BR> I don't know why not cutting my hair has meant so much to me - maybe it was a security blanket, maybe i didn't think I'd be 'pretty' if it was shorter. What i reall... Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:52:17 EST S.M.A.R.T. Goals! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Did you visit Sparkcoach today? Today, it was over SMART goals - A SMART Goal is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. <BR> <BR> So here are mine: <BR> <BR> Short term goals: <BR> <BR> <em>368</em> Eating 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day <BR> <em>347</em> Log my calories consumed and burned on Sparkpeople daily - even if I don't want to know :) Honesty! <BR> <em>331</em> Exercisin... Sun, 12 Aug 2012 11:28:06 EST Come join me on RunKeeper! I love this app!!! If you're on Runkeeper, be sure to add me to your street team so we can motivate each other! If you're not - join :) (And you don't have to be a runner! I walk and cycle :)) <BR> <link><BR>file </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <em>381</em> <em>311</em> <em>332</em> <em>280</em> <em>26</em> Wed, 1 Aug 2012 21:01:08 EST July recap - My groove All in all, July has been a GREAT month! For weight loss, for peace of mind, for discovering what i love. (I ate poorly this weekend, and my weight shot up, i'm not even worried though - It'll come right off as I continue to eat healthy and exercise). <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> A highlight of the month: We took a mini vacation to the mountains - We splurged (very unlike us! lol) on a nice cabin <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkp... Tue, 31 Jul 2012 08:58:58 EST June recap - Arriving at my track, to get back on June 19th - This is the day i really started over. This is the day I decided that I can do this. I can be healthy, I can lose weight again. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> once i made this decision, everything started coming back to me. i remembered why i went vegan, how wonderful it felt to exercise, how clear my mind was when i relaxed. i found my groove. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <B... Tue, 31 Jul 2012 08:22:55 EST May recap - Gardening and Daytona looking back at my may photos, it is evident that i took this month to just heal - my relationships, my emotional well-being, my physical body, my soul. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> When i looked back at my weight loss chart, i only tracked for three days. And while of course, losing weight is healthy, sometimes we need more healing first. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> We took our fir... Tue, 31 Jul 2012 08:01:43 EST April Recap - A rock bottom kind of month I know i'm a little late on this blog post! i'm going to try and catch my months up here... <BR> <BR> April was a very difficult month for me. While i had made the commitment to getting healthy again, my personal life took a tragic turn. Although everything turned out ok in the end, my mentality suffered greatly and i had what i can only describe is some sort of break down. <BR> <BR> i went back to work at the beginning of this month, it was harder than anticipated. I struggled a lot ... Tue, 31 Jul 2012 07:38:12 EST March Recap - and talks about the C Word. Feb 28th - I had surgery to remove a mass on my kidney that proved to be clear cell renal cell carcinoma. The month that followed was one of the worst in my life. The surgery itself was more invasive than I'd anticipated, having my gallbladder taken out 3 years ago, I was expecting the recovery to be similar - I was SO wrong. NOTHING took the pain away, except time, lots of time. And when my physical pain started to subside, the emotional pain began. I had cancer? How the heck did that ... Sun, 1 Apr 2012 09:53:50 EST This is something serious (calorie differencial chart) <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I'd really lost control.. And I thank God that he's given me the strength and will to take control of my life again. What a difference in just one month! I know I can reach my goals, I just wish they weren't so far away... It's hard, coming to grips, after losing so much weight, only to have to do it AGAIN. It sucks, but I know it can be done. Wed, 20 Jul 2011 22:02:42 EST 07/14 Thursday activity & food journal I'm getting the hang of this...eating in my calorie range again :) <BR> <BR> I know a lot of this is redundant.. maybe I should just do dinners or something? Anyhoo.. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: <BR> Fiber one cereal with skim milk and strawberries <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack #1: <BR> Banana <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack #2: <BR> Fiber one brownie <BR> <img src="http://photos... Thu, 14 Jul 2011 21:21:28 EST 07/13 Wednesday activity & food journal Today's food :) <BR> <BR> Breakfast: <BR> Fiber one cereal with skim milk and strawberries <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack #1: <BR> Banana <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: <BR> Yummy lasagna casserole left overs <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack #2: <BR> Fiber one brownie <BR> <img src=" Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:44:51 EST 07/12 Tuesday activity & food journal I've been tracking my food again for about a week now, and using a photo diet app on my droid. These are the photos I took today... <BR> <BR> Breakfast: <BR> Fiber one cereal with fat free milk and a banana <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack: <BR> Fiber one brownie - just discovered these awesome little things! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: <BR> Healthy choice steamer bowls -... Tue, 12 Jul 2011 21:32:17 EST 02-22 Tuesday activity & food journal Went to bed early last night with a migraine, but I got a lot of good sleep, so I woke up early to exercise! I bought the Walk slim 3 fast miles DVD from Leslie Sansone a few weeks ago, and tried it out this morning - LOVE! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Egg + egg white + pepper/onion mix on wheat toast with veggie breakfast pattie <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snacks: Appl... Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:26:59 EST 02-17 Logging anyway Thursday activity & food journal Today has been the weirdest day at work... I swear people are so weird. I don't think I will be working with the public on my "next job." :) <BR> <BR> Breakfast: egg + egg white and peppers on wheat bread with cheese and a veggie breakfast pattie <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snacks: Apple and a larabar (I didn't eat the banana, still in my work drawer) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> L... Thu, 17 Feb 2011 20:48:07 EST 02-16 Starting again, Wednesday activity & food journal So I got so derailed after my the stress of my truck vandalism, I was so stressed and upset, I guess I made myself sick because I woke up last Tuesday feeling like death warmed over. I had friends over this weekend, and it's taken this long to get my head wrapped around being healthy again... I even went to the gym today :) <BR> <BR> Breakfast: PB & choc banana oatmeal <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack: apple <BR> <img src="http://ph... Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:40:08 EST 02-06 Sickening Sunday activity & food journal Today started out so nice... had a good morning with the hubs, made a nice big breakfast of oats and eggs <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> And then took our new (to us) little boat out on the lake for some fishing <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <img src=""> ... Sun, 6 Feb 2011 20:06:49 EST 02-05 Saturday activity & food journal Not only did I go to work today, I went to the gym! woot! I did the elliptical (whew!) and all of the strength training machines. I think strength training is going to really help me if I can stay consistent. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Banana/peanut butter/choc oatmeal <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Work snack: Chick-fil-A yogurt parfait with strawberries & granola <BR> <img src=""> <BR> ... Sat, 5 Feb 2011 19:02:35 EST 02-04 Fed up Friday activity & food journal Today was a stressful day at work... *anyway* <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Yummy egg and pepper stir fry scramble on whole wheat english muffin & turkey bacon <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: Healthy choice meal with meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, and fruit dessert - I added some asparagus since there was nothing green already <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Work snack: Peanut butter & j... Fri, 4 Feb 2011 19:17:16 EST 02-03 Yoga Thursday activity & food journal This morning, I think I got the right portion size of oatmeal down for me, which is 1/3 cup :) Here's my morning oatmeal with banana pb & dark chocolate chips: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Morning snack: Pear & 1/4 cup of mixed nuts <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: Sweet & sour chicken with rice, broccoli, and peach crisp dessert by Healthy Choice with diet coke <BR> <img src="h... Thu, 3 Feb 2011 18:22:14 EST 02-02 Wednesday activity & food journal Thanks so much to ERINBEAR1876 for the pepper egg scramble recipe :) Baby Sophie helped supervise the preparation. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> That's what I've had for breakfast the past two mornings with turkey bacon and whole wheat english muffin. I'm so happy to have veggies in my breakfast :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snacks were an orange (hubby peeled for me! :)) and a ser... Thu, 3 Feb 2011 07:00:00 EST 01-26 Westside Wednesday activity & food journal Started off this morning with some pretty yummy oatmeal - with banana, peanut butter & dark chocolate chips :) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Then after our morning meeting, I ended up having to go to another branch to fill in - they retardedly fired 6 people and left like no one to run the branch. Ouch. Well, this branch is a lot stricter than we are, so I was worried I wouldn't be able to snack and such, so I ate both my snacks on the w... Wed, 26 Jan 2011 20:39:54 EST 01-25 Tuesday activity & food journal I sorta fell off the wagon there for a couple of weeks.. but I'm back! How easy it is to fall when habits aren't good in place yet... <BR> <BR> Anyway. <BR> <BR> Hubby made me a yummy egg sandwich for breakfast with turkey bacon and low calorie, high fiber toast: <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch @ 11 - Grilled chicken basil with whole grain pasta and vegetables by Healthy choice cafe steamers (I heart Healthy choice cafe steamers!) w... Tue, 25 Jan 2011 20:24:44 EST 01-13 Thursday activity & food journal Thank God tomorrow's Friday! Yay! <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Egg Mcmuffin on whole wheat with turkey bacon <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack: Apple & larabar <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: Whiskey steak by Healthy Choice <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack #2: BBQ Kettle chips <BR> <img src=" Thu, 13 Jan 2011 18:59:43 EST 01-12 Wednesday activity & food journal Today started out ok, but then got frustrating at work.. didn't help that someone asked me if I was having a baby - I cannot stand that, and don't understand why clients feel the need to comment on my chubbiness. Thanks. <BR> <BR> Breakfast was an egg mcmuffin: 1 egg, american cheese slice, fat free promise margarine, sugar-free fiber jelly, whole wheat english muffin <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Apple for a snack <BR> <img src="http:/... Wed, 12 Jan 2011 19:16:19 EST 01-11 Tuesday activity & food journal I got to sleep in a little bit this morning :) Didn't have to be at work til 10:30. Got up and exercised to my "Skinny Sculpt" DVD - I really like it. It is light cardio/strength and pilates in one workout. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I lovely late breakfast after my workout - banana oats with peanut butter & dark chocolate <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch was sesame chicken by ... Tue, 11 Jan 2011 22:05:02 EST 01-10 Icy Monday activity & food journal An icy day here in GA! No work today :) I got up and played some xbox Dance Central this morning after confirming we had at least the morning off.. I was happy to see how many calories burned! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Breakfast was my 2nd attempt & peanut butter banana oatmeal - I added a bit of vanilla this time :) and turkey bacon <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch was a healt... Mon, 10 Jan 2011 21:16:26 EST 01-09 Sunday activity & food journal Happy Sunday! Today I woke up with a huge swollen knee! No cardio for me.. glad to have the day off to rest :) <BR> <BR> I am still learning about oatmeal.. Growing up on "grits," oatmeal is like a foreign concept, but I want to learn because I know it's healthy. This morning I tried my hand at the banana whipped oats, topped with peanut butter & dark chocolate chips w/turkey bacon <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch was a healthy ch... Mon, 10 Jan 2011 06:56:48 EST 01-08 Saturday activity & food journal I decided to take pictures of what I was eating.. not to be any kind of a role model, but just to hold me accountable. I really don't want to share me eating half a bag of shredded cheese or anything ;) (seriously? does anyone else have a weakness with shredded cheese? lol). <BR> <BR> Started the day with a great Leslie Sansone workout! Ran out of time on the pilates extra workout, working on a Saturday - yay. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <... Sun, 9 Jan 2011 15:12:36 EST Looking forward to a fresh shart in 2011 In 2008, I decided to change my life - I lost 60 lbs. In 2009, I lost a bit of momentum, but still managed to lose the other 40 lbs by January 2010. I am so sad to say that I've gained all of my 2009 weight loss in 2010.. and then a few. I really struggled this year. I had some issues with my birth control, PCOS, my thyroid's been off, I've had to have physical therapy for my hips (and I'm still not quite right), my knee is still giving me a lot of problems, and I also returned to eating ... Fri, 31 Dec 2010 10:14:25 EST Starting over: fast break goals I've been reading "The Spark" and I'm on my 1st week of fast break goals. This week my goals are <BR> 1) Drink water! (no soda) x 5/7 days <BR> 2) Exercise 10 min x 5/7 days <BR> 3) Write about my day x 5/7 days <BR> Reward: A trip to Michael's craft store :) <BR> Tue, 26 Oct 2010 09:26:59 EST I know the devil’s winning.. But I can’t seem to fight back. <BR> <BR> That was my thought this morning as I drove to work. As the incessant negative comments in my head swirled around: I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m this or that… My recent weight gain is something I’ve tried to get my head around, but I feel helpless. What is going on? I’ve lost it before and conquered so much more than this. On top of that, I changed my hair – something I decided I don’t like anymore, and because of my eyes regressing after my LASIK surge... Wed, 22 Sep 2010 14:33:34 EST Day 2, food photo blog + Furry pictures :) Today was a crazy day at work, and I'm so tired.. Didn't get to exercise today, but plan on it for tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Breakfast: Total cereal & an apple <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Snack: yogurt <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: Rotisserie chicken sandwich, plus chicken leg (Trying to eat up this chicken!) plus some v8 juice <BR> <img src=" Wed, 11 Aug 2010 21:32:52 EST Taking my life back, Day 1 Seems like it's so easy to have a day one.. even a day 2, 3, 4.. but when it gets to about 7, 8, 9.. that's when I start to falter. So here goes a new day 1. A new beginning to getting my healthy lifestyle back. <BR> <BR> And I'm documenting in photos :) <BR> <BR> Breakfast: 1 C total cereal and an apple (kitty approved!) <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Lunch: Rotisserie chicken on a whole wheat wrap with salad mix, ranch spritzer, an... Wed, 11 Aug 2010 12:42:09 EST p90x.day1 | Chest & Back + Abs I started p90x today :) <BR> <BR> I'm doing it with my husband and his friend, so we're doing the "Classic" version. <BR> <BR> Today was Chest & Back + Ab ripper.. Which means a LOT of pull ups and push ups - two things I can't really do that well - pull ups I can't do at all. It was a little frustrating, even with the chair I couldn't pull myself up all the way. By the time I got to ab ripper, I was spent. I did the best I could, but there's a few moves I really struggle with. But I'm ... Mon, 19 Jul 2010 10:31:09 EST What's for dinner: Stuffed Peppers <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I LOVE when I come across a full meal in one dish :) I tried this recipe last night, and I was very surprised how filling and low calorie it is! I actually even forgot the cheese, and it was still tasty, lol. <BR> <BR> It's basically ground turkey, rice, onions, and tomatoes stuffed in peppers - how much more could you really ask for? :) <BR> <BR> So check it out - <BR> <link> Thu, 15 Jul 2010 11:17:48 EST Road to Redemption So I've been away. <BR> <BR> For too long. <BR> <BR> And I've gained weight. <BR> <BR> It seems like I'm constantly "starting over" but this is unacceptable. I CANNOT go backwards any longer. And I can't just "wish" it away.. I have to work for it. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I got up at 6AM and worked out to my American Gladiators DVD with my hubby since he got called off :) Ate healthily, and then went to step class. This morning I got up to walk. So far so good with the eating, and I have... Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:34:14 EST Success Story I'm not sure why I didn't share this when my success story first went up, but better late than never :) Thanks Spark for helping me meet my -100 lb goal in January! <BR> <BR> Check me out in the success gallery.. <BR> <link><BR>ess/mypage_success.asp?ID=CUPCAKE%5FPI<BR>RATE </link> <BR> <BR> How did I do it? Check out this blog entry.. <BR> <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2772900 </link> Thu, 27 May 2010 13:26:22 EST What's your happy weight? <link><BR>culators/happyweight </link> <BR> <BR> I first saw this calculator in a Self magazine a long while ago - I remember when I first did it, thinking.. wow, that's so low! That can't be right. But when I dipped down to 156 in January, I changed my new goal to 146. I could feel my "happy weight" was just around the corner. I'm not really sure what happened, but I fell off the track, I did go off my birth control, but I landed up at 176 last wee... Wed, 26 May 2010 10:49:00 EST Refreshed, renewed, and with a new plan My evaluation at physical therapy went pretty well, I think. Turns out, I'm lopsided, lol. I'm slouchy on my right side, and while most people even out at the pelvis, my right leg is actually a bit shorter than my left! She thinks it's a problem with my IT Band, and obliques on the "inside" of my pelvis area. We're gonna work on that. I think I may feel better already. :) <BR> <BR> So I think my problem is that I try so hard to be perfect. Guess what.. I give up. I'm not perfect. If ... Fri, 26 Mar 2010 10:44:49 EST