CTTAGENT's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=CTTAGENT CTTAGENT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ Started a blog page http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5604346 I took a leap and started a blog page last night. I want to use it as a start to introducing myself, whether it be just for getting my story out there or attracting people that I may be able to help to get to better health by being their coach. It only has a starter blog, but it is a start. I am going to try at least every couple of days to add to it. If you have any comments, please let me know. <BR> It is at <link>reclaimyourhealthwithlenora.wordpres<BR>s.com </link> Fri, 24 Jan 2014 11:41:41 EST Today's recipe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5598546 Today was a day of trying another new recipe. Today's was Alicha Beef. I added some spinach and carrots to this one. The taste was very good! Next time I will definitely make a bigger batch so that I have more to freeze for lunches. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/1/9/l1931017865.jpg"> Sun, 19 Jan 2014 00:50:15 EST Today's recipe http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5591833 Today's new recipe was Bacon Sloppy Joes. I am working on adding some veggies in small amounts into some dishes that I make. This was not an exception. I used shredded carrots and torn spinach. It had a good flavor. <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/2/0/l209528922.jpg"> Mon, 13 Jan 2014 00:22:29 EST Hello http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5572312 Hi everybody, <BR> <BR> I have been around, just not on here a lot with everything going on. <BR> Next week is my appt with the cranial osteopath, so hopefully she will get the MRI ordered so we can get to the bottom of this. Eight months has been way too long to get to this point.. for that matter 12 years has been too long. The pain level goes between a 2 and 3 on most days, with no relief by anything. <BR> I see my PCP tomorrow, and then have a follow-up with the functional medicine... Thu, 26 Dec 2013 13:35:09 EST MSG is called what?? Health coach study progress. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5547687 So life has been a little crazy lately, but I have learned some things about how to help myself and others to better health. I am getting really excited about being able to work as a health coach in the near future. We have learned about vegetarian dietary theories, and this past week was about the importance of our gut being healthy. The neurologist's nurse, whom I met with yesterday about my blood work results, was so happy to hear that I pursuing this course and understood a lot of what... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 11:30:07 EST 9/15/13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5486531 This weekend I have been trying to chill out a little bit. I am nervous about the health coaching course; it started this week. I know I will do fine, but my insecurities take over sometimes, and I have to remember that if I do not push those thoughts to the back of my mind I will never get into a job that I am happy, satisfied, and feel like I am helping people to improve their lives. My desire is to be able in particularly to help people that deal with conditions that involve pain. With... Sun, 15 Sep 2013 20:01:09 EST Some ramblings http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5468852 I am anxious for the health coaching course to start in 2 weeks. I know I can help people in a lot more ways, and my background with medications can help me understand when things need to go to the doctor, and what I can help with. <BR> <BR> My head pain is still around, between a level 2 and 3 the past week plus. I have quit using the word "headache" because it is unrelieved by medications, and I truly feel that there is an underlying cause, which I want to get figured out. My PCP won'... Wed, 28 Aug 2013 11:29:20 EST Career Change Choice http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5429302 Last week I made up my mind what path I want to go down, especially once my husband retires. I was on the healthcare computer programs route, but I knew that would still keep me tied to a set schedule, but would allow me to be able to plan time off with less notice than I have to now. <BR> A couple of months ago I saw something about becoming a health/wellness coach, so have been mulling it over. After much research, I finally signed up for an online course. I am excited knowing that I w... Mon, 22 Jul 2013 11:30:22 EST Credit card scam http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5421042 We are freshly home from our trip. I am tired, but I wanted to give a heads up to the latest credit card scam that I heard about. <BR> Saturday night we stayed in a hotel between the end of the cruise and the flight home. We arrived to the hotel early and were able to check in. We were in the room no longer than 1 hour and the phone rang. It was a guy saying that he was from the front desk and they had a computer glitch, so needed all my info to reenter it into the computer. I got my a... Sun, 14 Jul 2013 20:02:02 EST Red-eye flight tonight http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5411429 Hubby and I both work today, and then it is off to the airport. I am hoping to get some sleep on the plane. Then tomorrow, I am hoping to get on the ship early enough that we can have lunch and then go sleep while the masses get on, until muster time. <BR> We are unsure about leaving from home time because of the public transportation strike that was going on. We will look at the traffic flow and gauge as best we can from there. <BR> My head is still about the same, 1.5 and a tension head... Fri, 5 Jul 2013 10:51:45 EST Whose health is it? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5406493 Today I started on a good note.... my first day back at the gym since the ER visit. The headache is still at a pain level of 2. The fibromyalgia is better, not quite back to what it was before the big flare-up, but getting there. The exercise should help. I kept my workout to 10 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes of strength training on the machines. I have enlisted the help of my husband in reminding me why I need to get back to my gym routine regularly. <BR> Last week, my primary ... Sun, 30 Jun 2013 16:09:46 EST The past couple of days http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5401998 Well, things are not where I expected. <BR> First, the neurologist appointment yesterday did not go as I had hoped. I thought writing everything down about what had happened and what I had tried would help lead to him requesting an MRI. Well, he said it is a "tension headache" which I am not satisfied with as an answer since I have had tension headaches and they are always on the front of the head, not back. He said if it gets worse to come back and he would give me a preventative medica... Wed, 26 Jun 2013 01:30:09 EST Neurology appt made http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5397266 The headache is still hanging around, so I have not been to the gym this week, but I have been back at work. The insurance did approve for me to see a neurologist, so I have that appointment set up, a month out is how far I had to go, but at least that is a start. He probably is going to expect a normal "headache" case that he can just give pain or headache medication to, but this is more than that since medications are not really affecting it. I am writing everything down so I can give it... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 11:06:58 EST 6/16/13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390789 In 3 weeks we will be on our cruise. I am looking forward to it so much. The head and fibro pain are subsiding.... slowly. I just hope it stays down with going back to work. <BR> This cruise is going to St Thomas, a Bahamas island, San Juan, and Grand Turk. There is diving at St Thomas and Grand Turk, and we figure the other 2 we will just wander around for a bit. <BR> I have most of my things packed, so I could see if I can get it into 1 checked bag. I might be able to do it, and the... Sun, 16 Jun 2013 12:22:58 EST Rough past week- Long blog since ER visit http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5390115 This past week has been a rougher one than usual for me. <BR> My headache pain got worse after my last blog, to the point that Monday morning I drove to the ER, especially after being told that the earliest I could get into the doctor would be Thursday! For me to want to go to the ER is very unlikely, so that showed something was not right. I stayed at work until another person came in early, then I was off. I asked my husband which ER he was closest to, and headed there. <BR> The "hea... Sat, 15 Jun 2013 16:18:54 EST 6/8/13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5382358 This is my Saturday to work again, seems like it is always coming around to that. My pain level is the same, so I have determined that I am going to see what the earliest appt time the doctor has available and get back in there to talk about the headaches the medication change. If I do not have some relief by next Wednesday, I am going back to my previous medication because I want to feel better for our vacation in 4 weeks. <BR> On a happy note, it is my 6th wedding anniversary. I need t... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 11:16:00 EST Yesterday's dr appt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5380859 I had gotten my appt to establish with my new doctor changed to yesterday because of the extra severe pain and muscle burning I am having. Of course, I started crying from the pain when I started talking to her about it, and her thought went to depression. I understand the cycle between fibromyalgia and depression, but the tears were from the frustration of the pain not getting better. I know fibro is not well understood and studied because there are no definitive answers or solutions, all... Thu, 6 Jun 2013 23:01:31 EST 6/3/13-Pain http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5376665 Another work week is starting.... and not on a very good note. My fibro pain level is high... just cut the upper left quadrant out, with the upper right not far behind. For the past 3+ weeks I have been having pain/burning for unknown reasons. I have a high pain tolerance, but once my body "screams" at me that it needs help, I definitely pain more attention since it is more apparent. It is so embarrassing so start crying at work in front of an assistant manager, but at least she is unders... Mon, 3 Jun 2013 11:26:39 EST 3/12/13 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5283825 I hope to get the trip pictures gone through so I can post here. I hope all have a good day/week. Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:17:27 EST Last night at sea. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5270120 Our ship is headed back to its homeport of Tampa tonight. We have had winds of 20+ for over 24 hours now. It is giving the ship a good rocking, but not like we had on the tailend of Hurricane Sandy. I cannot believe the week is over already. We are thinking of doing 2 weeks next year once I have enough vacation built up. We just have to decide about which back-to-back weeks we would like to do. This ship does the same route every week versus a ship that alternates between the Eastern an... Sat, 2 Mar 2013 18:43:00 EST 2/26/13 First port day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5265106 Saturday we flew into Tampa, FL about 9:30pm. After sitting for the flights we needed to do a little walking and get some food. The hotel shuttle took us to a nice place that we could have something light to eat. It was in the same shopping center as "The Blue Martini" where the New York Yankees often hang out, which explained why the women were dressed to kill and the guys were very casually clothed. <BR> <BR> Sunday the cruise ship was delayed at least 8 hours for getting into port be... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:07:54 EST Strange happenings. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5244020 Here we are into the second week of February already. The weather has been cold with sunshine for the most part. I think I am going to hang some laundry out to dry today. My husband has noticed a difference in the electric bill even with just hanging the towels out to dry, since they take so long. <BR> This week has been an off week. My energy level has been really low, and was yawning a lot more than I usually do. I am unsure of the reason, but have some suspicions. First thought is ... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 13:45:30 EST Next vacation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5196224 Hubby booked our next vacation, at least the vacation part, not the flight part yet. It is a Western Caribbean cruise, Sunday to Sunday. We have a day at sea each way, with 4 days of back-to-back ports: Cozumel, Grand Cayman, Belize, and Honduras/Roatan (in some order). We will probably do our scuba diving in each port. I am excited for that since I much prefer the warm water diving, and at home we are 3 hours from cold water diving.... okay, cold for me. I have done a dive with a dry su... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 01:38:49 EST Not how I wanted the year to start http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5185969 On Monday, I called my mom while I was on my lunch break. She had received a call from her next oldest sister that her husband went from the hospice nurse saying maybe a month left (last Thursday) to 7 to 10 days on Monday. The nurse said she has never seen anyone go down that fast. My aunt was thinking that he would make it until their youngest son arrives at the end of the week, then pass away. She really wanted my mom to go to Minnesota. So my husband bought her a ticket leaving this ... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 11:32:52 EST The results are in... http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5171659 Well, this the title has a two-part meaning. <BR> <BR> Part one refers to the college course I was taking in Political Science.. a subject that I am not fond of at all and the teacher was of no help in my understanding of the subject. I persevered through the course, even with nightmares of being crushed by a cement wall. After taking the final I was at a 79%, but the proposal was awaiting grading at 22.5% of the total grade. Well, the results came in today... I got 94% on the proposal, w... Thu, 20 Dec 2012 03:03:41 EST 12/10/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162790 Found out tonight that my class final has to be taken either Thursday or Friday... which is going to be challenging for me because I work until 8pm on Thursday and have to be back to work at 9am on Friday. So I either have to take it before work on Thursday, starting by 9am since it is a 1&1/2 hour test or take it after work on Friday. I was planning on going to the chiropractor on Thursday. I will see how I am doing as the week goes along. <BR> <BR> The fibro in my arms has really been b... Tue, 11 Dec 2012 01:08:23 EST Have a good week http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5162066 My government/politics class should be over after this week. I say "should" because the teacher has not put the final online so we can take it. I have not figured out yet what class I am going to take next semester, but if I can do a math class, that will take care of all the general education requirements for a degree so I can focus on the computer required ones then. <BR> I am doing okay with my eating. I am finding that if I eat grains for my carbs, I put on weight, so I am better off e... Mon, 10 Dec 2012 11:18:06 EST Health scare or anxiety?? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5140341 I have been good about getting to the gym the 3 days per week. I determined that even if I just do the treadmill, that is fine. Usually once I get that done then I feel like doing a few machines or free weights also. I overdid a little on Saturday, so am feeling it this morning. <BR> <BR> Friday afternoon I was working on typing, pharmacist was filling, and one person was helping customers out front. All of the sudden I got an extremely tight chest, different from when I have the allergy... Mon, 19 Nov 2012 11:35:15 EST Friday, 11/09/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5129491 Well, here we are at Friday again. It is my Saturday to work, so I have two days left of work. It has been a long week. <BR> Yesterday I had a dental appointment for a filling. All went smooth, but it took about 5 hours for the novocaine to wear off some, so I bit my lip a couple of times. I bypassed the gym because I just did not feel up to it. <BR> I also had a visit to my primary care doctor, that initially was scheduled for before the dentist, but got changed to after... so I was n... Fri, 9 Nov 2012 11:35:37 EST The second half of our vacation. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5123021 The continuing saga: <BR> We finally decided on Tuesday that we would do the scuba diving in both Costa Maya and Cozumel, even though it would cost about $80 more. <BR> Costa Maya: Our cabin was facing the ocean, so we did not realize that we were docked until we went on the balcony and looked down. We had a long way to carry our bags to meet the dive people. The people were really nice, said it was about a 15 minute ride to the dive shop and then about 10 minutes on the boat to the div... Sat, 3 Nov 2012 22:44:18 EST First half of our vacation summary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5121399 We made it back to Miami unscathed. We got some of the big waves behind Hurricane Sandy on the last night, so I have some problems sleeping due to things sliding around and drawers opening. The only thing that I saw broken on the ship were two glass panes on the deck above the pool, and that looked like a deck chair when sliding into them. <BR> <BR> Back to the start of vacation time. We arrived in Miami Saturday night and were staying at a hotel with airport shuttle service. The next mo... Fri, 2 Nov 2012 11:28:14 EST Time to go! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5105886 We are packing up to head out to our cruise. I have about an hour to finish, but I think I have most everything packed. <BR> I decided to take at least my mask, fins and snorkel so if we decide to do some snorkeling, we do not have to rent. Even though for the diving those are provided, I just feel more secure having my own. I did not take my regulator because my husband would have to change some of the hoses and he hasn't had a chance. The other point is that we are only diving twice, ... Sat, 20 Oct 2012 10:57:34 EST Almost vacation time! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5091192 Last Saturday I ended up going in to work for 4 3/4 hours because the gal that was working had to go home since she had the stomach flu. It threw my afternoon plans into a tizzy because I had a midterm that I had to take by Saturday night for the Political Science/Government class. I was going to review the slides that the teacher said the test was based off of, but I was not able to do that because the test was 100 minutes, and I was not going to start it at 8pm. <BR> <BR> I am so look... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 11:33:53 EST I am going to lose my mind http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5071580 Things have been crazy, really crazy, for me lately. Upon our return from Minnesota, it was time to start gearing up for my online college class to start. Not a class I was looking forward to since I am not a political/government person. Glancing through the book, I figured that we will probably have a chapter of 50+ pages per week for reading. WELL... then I saw the syllabus once that opened up: a chapter a week from the book; a set of about 50 slides with internet links to view; additio... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 14:35:06 EST Crazy past month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5002817 A month since I blogged. A busy month, so I will try to be concise. <BR> <BR> Work has been going downhill. I had applied for a job at the UC Davis vet pharmacy, but it was received late, after I submitted it in a second time because they had not received the first one. So that leaves me at my current employment until I can find something else. Unfortunately once retail and insurance positions are ruled out, there is not much left. I will hang tough. The staff pharmacist is leaving i... Mon, 6 Aug 2012 01:15:21 EST A slow day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4955521 Today is an extra day off work for me. I do not have a lot of things planned, but the day will fill up on its own, that is never an issue. <BR> <BR> I started out my day at the gym for an hour, which kind of helped lift my mood. What did not help though was while I was on the treadmill, I had a sudden sharp pain in my left upper arm. It hurt enough that I found myself holding my breath, hoping it would ease faster. The fibromyalgia has been really bad over the past week, but it has bee... Wed, 4 Jul 2012 19:51:02 EST 6/28/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4946099 Almost to the end of the week. I have been bad this week. Hubby and I had lunch out on Sunday because we got to the theater late for our movie and there was not a place to park at first. So we decided to go to lunch instead since we were both hungry. After getting home, we both laid down and took a nap; I guess the lack of sleep and stress is catching up to me. <BR> <BR> Monday night I got together with a friend that I have not seen since my wedding reception 5 years ago. He was on hi... Thu, 28 Jun 2012 11:19:04 EST 6/24/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4940294 The days just keep flying by! It has been 10 days since I last blogged anything. Other than work, things have not been as crazy as they were. I am still waiting to hear from the doctor's office about getting a follow-up thyroid lab. In the meantime I am taking one kelp a day to get that number turned back towards mid-range. This morning mom and I were talking about the function of the thyroid, and it got me to thinking... There seems to be a lot of focus on the heart and how it is the "m... Sun, 24 Jun 2012 15:25:01 EST 6/14/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4927014 Today was my day off because of working Saturday. With the heat I stayed indoors. <BR> <BR> I was glad I went to the gym early today. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill before doing my strength training. I did not use free weights today because I was bumping up the machine weights and want to see how my muscles do. After the strength training, I did another 10 minutes on the treadmill and a steady, slower pace than the first time. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow morning I have breakfast with my m... Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:52:30 EST Happy Anniversary http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4920766 Friday was my 5th wedding anniversary. I cannot believe that; my how the time has flown. I was able to get off work an hour early just in case hubby was able to get off early also. He couldn't, but it was fine because I needed to talk to mom for a few minutes. We made this an anniversary weekend, by having dinner and a movie of my choice. We were going to do the movie on Saturday before dinner, but the times did not work well with our reservation time, so we were going to do the movie t... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 22:29:10 EST 6/4/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4912533 This is a short blog tonight. <BR> <BR> I skipped the gym tonight due to physical reasons, but will take my clothes with me tomorrow to change into before leaving work. <BR> <BR> Dad's appointment with the surgeon did not result in a surgery date. Even though the cardiologist said to go ahead with the surgery, the surgeon said no, and is referring him to an endocronologist because of his epinephrine levels. He has white coat syndrome, and notbody seems to want to acknowledge it excep... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 00:56:59 EST A mish-mash of topics http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4909896 Last week seemed like a longer work week than usual even though it was only 4 days. Even with my sleep routine in place, I slept until 9am yesterday, and then took a nap in the early afternoon.... too stressed and I do not know how to make it better. <BR> <BR> Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I did not get to the gym, but the other days I did, even if it was just to do the treadmill. Today I am going to do some weight training there also. <BR> <BR> I have a stack of cooking magazines tha... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 11:35:15 EST Good and frustrating news. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4898692 It has been a long week. I work today, which is making it longer. <BR> <BR> Last night I received a call from mom that she was taking dad to the ER because the hernia was causing the intestines to pull out more, thus raising his anxiety level and blood pressure. The doctor wanted to give a water pill (which caused dad to have full leg cramps), but because he couldn't see a heart or lung issue, decided against that. They wanted to give him a blood thinner, even though his blood is fine. ... Sat, 26 May 2012 10:36:19 EST A short review of the past weeks http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4895507 The past couple of weeks have had some rough times, but I am still around. I have been keeping a log of my days to see if I can find a trigger for my fibro or something that improves the pain level. I know stress and weather affects, but nothing seems to be standing out. I am also filling out a questionnaire each week as far as how I am doing and feeling. <BR> This past week I have increased how often I go to the gym. I went 6 days in a row, not full workouts all days, but at least t... Thu, 24 May 2012 01:17:29 EST Fibro Appt http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4875595 Yesterday I saw my doctor for us to discuss my fibromyalgia to see where I am at and how to work on improving the situation. She is glad that I see that exercise is a definite help to feeling better. Her big concern at the moment is that for the question about how many days I felt good over the past week, I answered "0." I get up, go to work and do the things I need to do, but I have not felt good. I have to push myself to go to the gym because I feel so fatigued, but I make myself at lea... Thu, 10 May 2012 13:34:46 EST 5/4/12 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4866295 The month is off to a fairly good start. I got to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday as planned. Yesterday I had decided I was going to try doing mostly free weights and work on the arms. Because I did about 8 different exercises that involved using the arms, I was careful not to exhaust the muscles for an individual exercise. I was noticing extra pain last night, which is carrying over to today, so I am hoping that I did not kick into a flare-up. Since the doctor does not want me to take a... Fri, 4 May 2012 12:17:32 EST A new month http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4861060 Here we are at the start of a new month again. Last month was a crazy one for me, so I was messed up in a lot of my health routine. But I am ready to go ahead now. I am back to getting to the gym 3 days a week: Sundays, Tuesdays, and either Thursdays or Saturdays depending on my work schedule. I think tonight I will do a full routine of treadmill and machines, putting some arms back into it. <BR> <BR> I contacted an aunt to see if she has grandma's crochet hook, and she said she will t... Tue, 1 May 2012 11:09:56 EST A better day. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4850951 Today was a better day. I did not feel so much like not wanting to be around people. I took the medication to keep my nerves calm, and I actually felt like smiling. And thinking about it... I did not cry at all today... progress. <BR> <BR> I did not get to the gym tonight after work. We ended up having a little pow-wow at work about how to become more efficient. Some people I think are not going to be happy, but the customer has to be thought of first. We will see what goes into effe... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:27:30 EST A rough day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4849182 Well, I did not feel like going to work today, and when at work I did not want to go and talk to tbe customers. I just do not feel like smiling. I am hoping that it is just some depression coming from the grief of my loss. I came home and had a good cry, then had some wine. <BR> I have connected with some of my cousins online, and they are hoping that I make it back to MN for the anniversary. It feels so good to connect with family, and know that they are glad to meet me as I am. I am ... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:06:21 EST Funeral and relatives http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4844389 Well, I have been in Minnesota since Tuesday, and this is actually the first chance I have had to really just sit down for more than10 minutes. <BR> One of my cousins picked me up from the airport, which changed from the message before I left home that an uncle would pick me up. The change was okay, but I knew that I probably would not recognize my cousin because it has been 19 years since I have seen her. Fortunately she did recognize me, so she called to make sure. We had a 1 1/2 hour... Fri, 20 Apr 2012 16:55:38 EST