CSHELL75's SparkPeople Blog http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal.asp?id=CSHELL75 CSHELL75's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community SparkPeople.com http://assets2.sparkpeople.com/assets/nav/logo_spark.gif http://www.sparkpeople.com/ It's been a while, but I'm still on a mission http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5579698 I am just realizing that I have not blogged since June of 2013, so I felt it was time to give an update. I made excellent progress in 2013 even though the months of November and December featured a gain. I exercised faithfully, and I can't blame it on holiday food because I didn't even have any. Between the holiday blues and some medical test results that came back on December 16, 2013, I just started to spiral into an emotional chocolate eating frenzy. However, there is one thing about m... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 16:15:57 EST NOW faith is the substance of things hoped for http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5397302 Hebrews 11:1 King James Version (KJV) <BR> <BR> 11 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. <BR> <BR> I want to focus on the NOW (not tomorrow). Right NOW is when our faith has to kick in and take us to the next level of living. Many dieters have the "I'll start on Monday mentality." But when you are really ready to embrace a lifestyle change, you start the moment you make that decision. Will obstacles come? Sure. But we have everything that we... Fri, 21 Jun 2013 11:38:34 EST God showed me who I was http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5282402 God showed me who I was, and then I was really able to be my best me. It started on July 27, 2012, when I got on the scale and it said 303. I was in pure shock. I'm not going to say it was rock bottom, but it was definitely a wake up call. But instead of relying upon pills and fad diets, I began a three-part process of spiritual, physical and mental transformation. I began to seek God like never before to heal that which was broken in me. I began to exercise with more intensity than I h... Mon, 11 Mar 2013 11:13:13 EST Living!!!! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5263278 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/7/5/l758980928.jpg"> <BR> I celebrated my 38th birthday on 2/22/2013 and had the absolute best birthday weekend ever. I don't usually do much of anything for birthdays, but this one felt special because I'm truly embracing life. So I literally celebrated Friday through Sunday. I ate what I wanted (but watched how much I consumed), went out to eat a few times and even had birthday cake. However, the best birthday present was when I got on the ... Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:15:16 EST Balance and Moderation, not deprivation or starvation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5258638 I see that I haven't blogged since August 7, 2012, and I hadn't logged on since some time in October. However, I just wanted to let you all know that God is good and He has been keeping me. I guess you can say I was busy living instead of "die-ting." I no longer diet; no deprivation for me. I practice moderation, and it has worked out so well. They are no foods that are off-limits; I just limit my intake. Sure I could be losing like 5 to 7 lbs a week doing low-carb, but that's not a lif... Thu, 21 Feb 2013 10:55:30 EST Operation Transformation http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5004814 On Monday, July 30, 2012, I began "Operation Transformation." I'm looking forward to making changes from the inside out. I started the week at almost 303 lbs, the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I started working out with a health, which is a free service through my job. My plan involves eating a minimum of 5 vegetables and 2 meal replacements per day. I'm also to do a minimum of 30 minutes of exercise per day. I don't have any other restrictions on the other foods that I am to ea... Tue, 7 Aug 2012 10:22:34 EST I don't need surgery; I need my Savior http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4990211 I just took my time to write one of the most powerful, honest and cathartic blogs I've ever written. And when I pressed "post," the computer said that Google Chrome was down and the post was lost. But the devil is a liar. I'm not going to recreate it. It may not be written down now, but it's imprinted in my heart. I will positively affirm the essence of what I was writing. Lately, I've been contemplating lap band surgery because I've hit my all time high weight and crossed the 300 lb th... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 08:49:29 EST I can feel the breaking of day http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4927480 It's good when you can feel yourself coming out of the dark and into the light. That darkness in our mind can be a state of denial or self abuse through poor food choices and lack of adequate exercise. I thank God for keeping me while I was in the dark. At the weight that I currently am, I easily could have been sleeping in my grave. But God's grace and mercy has been abundant in my life. For every "another chance" that God has given me, I owe Him and myself 100% effort. Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:42:56 EST My chocolate fast http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4926114 I decided on June 9th to do a summer chocolate dessert and snack fast. The only chocolate allowed is meal replacement shakes because they are an integral part of my plan. However, I even had to give up the meal replacement bars because they taste too much like dessert for me, and I can eat too many of those, too. So as of yesterday, I've been going 5 days strong. The cravings are still strong, and I literally have to talk myself out of caving in. I've asked a friend to help me be account... Thu, 14 Jun 2012 10:32:19 EST Deliver me from myself http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4900957 I've got to put in the work. No excuses. I know this process works; however, I so easily get off track. I have learned that denial is probably the biggest obstacle for my personal weightloss. Denial must end, and it starts with owning my truth. I am a chocolate addict, and I've been one for almost 13 years now. I've tried moderation, using meal replacements and various methods. The longest I've been in control was 1 year when I was fasting from chocolate. I lost a lot of weight that y... Mon, 28 May 2012 10:04:19 EST The hair had to go so the weight could go http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4866535 Women and our hair. Today, I made a choice. I used my lunch hour to cut off my relaxed hair and go natural. Now I'll be able to work out more intensely and not have to worry about how hard it is on my hair. I'll even be able to add in extra workouts (ex. at my lunch hour). I'm so serious about this process that I'm willing to make the sacrifices that are necessary for my success. Ideal weight, here I come!!! <BR> <BR> <em>104</em> Fri, 4 May 2012 15:07:52 EST Believing in the process http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4865030 I've been on this pathway enough times to know where the pitfalls all. I thank God that knowledge really is power. Like many people, I lost a ridiculous amount of weight in week one, and now week 2 and 3 are going at a snail's pace. But I'm now operating in knowledge. I know that I can expect 1 to 2 lbs per week, since I'm doing this the healthy way. I can even expect plateaus. However, I'm determined to trust the process. I've got until June 1 to get this weight off (per my SP goals).... Thu, 3 May 2012 16:06:07 EST Truthful Nutrition logging http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4863466 Have you ever had a bad eating day and just didn't want to put the information in the food tracker? I've made a vow to be honest with sparkpeople and myself. I am committed to doing nutrition tracking M-F. The weekends I still try to stick to the plan, but I don't worry about logging on. Today, I made a conscious decision to eat off plan. However, I already have a strategy put in place. I looked up and logged those calories, and I honestly wasn't surprised that the amount of calories in... Wed, 2 May 2012 17:29:37 EST Using my keys to the kingdom http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4853499 Singing, "Lord I know I been changed. The angels in heaven done signed my name." This song is on my heart because I truly believe that I'm in the midst of a supernatural transformation. Nobody but God could have changed my tears and frustration to utter joy in such a short amount of time. And it's wonderful because I'm not taking any unnatural substances, and I'm doing this the healthy way. I feel like I have the keys to the kingdom, and I'm finally actually using them instead of standin... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:29:56 EST Loving the current me http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4851827 It feels great to be able to say that I'm loving the current me, fat and all. In the past, I would nit-pick about my flaws. And if a particular romantic interest rejected me because of my weight, I would be devastated. However, I can see how I am much wiser now. I also have a much better sense of self. The internal changes are definitely manifesting themselves externally. Wed, 25 Apr 2012 14:26:32 EST From Dreaming to Deciding http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4850144 I have a lot of unfulfilled dreams. Some are personal and others are professional, but I have declared that this will be the year that I dust them off the shelf and start making it happen. In the personal realm, I WILL lose 100 lbs by the end of the year, and it is non-negotiable. I'm off to a great start, now that I've managed to get some work-life balance. I also dream of becoming self-employed, and this is the year that I start doing something part-time until I am in a position to be f... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:36:00 EST A great week with phenomenal weightloss and a much better attitude http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4848162 This day marks an important milestone in my life. Last week was officially one of the best weeks in my adulthood. I enjoyed myself by pampering myself, painting with some young women, and just being kind to myself. I worked out faithfully and ate really balanced meals and snacks (including more fruits and veggies). <BR> <BR> I'm grateful to have created the kind of support system that will help me stay on target. It includes a healthy lives coach through my job, a weightloss mentor who... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 13:08:37 EST A new walk and a new talk http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4842535 As I begin each day, I make an effort to smile and radiate the light of God. And oh what a difference I believe it's making. I'm starting to get more settled in my new job (after I submitted a major report on Monday). I've put the stress behind me, and I'm looking forward to living my best life. I'm starting to get out more and create a broader friendship network. I've had a good week so far, actually reminds me of those Biggest Loser types of weeks. However, I know that I'm losing a lo... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 12:11:00 EST Dealing with change http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4837972 What's up with me and life transitions? Since I was last on SP, I got a new job and moved to a new city. I also totally lost control. I think the transition would have gone better if I had stayed in touch with my SP fam. Instead, I went back to old habits. As a result, I've gained 20 lbs since November, and I am the heaviest that I've ever been in my life. And I can honestly say that I've eaten a ridiculous amount of chocolate. It's funny because no one would guess it because I'm jus... Mon, 16 Apr 2012 16:12:38 EST Thanking myself by having a Thanksgiving workout http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4597645 <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeople.com/nw/9/9/l993741097.jpg"> <BR> <BR> On this Thanksgiving 2011, I am so thankful to God for giving me another chance. In spite of how many times I've yo-yo'd over the course of my life, this time is definitely different. I feel like there is an internal healing going on and a true commitment to living a healthier and fit lifestyle. So for the first time in my life, I'm showing gratitude to myself by starting the day off with a Thanksgiving morning ... Thu, 24 Nov 2011 07:44:59 EST Goal: Lose 20 lbs by the end of 2011 http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4594928 My daughter is with her dad for the Thanksgiving Break. So I started my Biggest Loser Bootcamp that I always do when she is away for a period of time. I set the goal on Friday. And even though I didn't eat perfectly over the weekend, I'm still down almost 2.5 lbs. So 17.5 lbs to go. I know I can do it. Since I don't have to cook for my daughter or get her ready for school, I use these times to really go hard. I'm working out in the morning and the afternoon. I'm taking the stairs ins... Tue, 22 Nov 2011 06:01:44 EST A Safe Space http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4589682 SP is truly a blessing. It feels great to have a safe space on the internet to be vulnerable. Many of us do things on here that we would never do outside of this circle of trust: post bathing suit pics, tell about secret food/sweet raids, share our pain, and find the source of our hurt. But the site is so much more. It's a place to celebrate and share in the success of your fellow sparkers. It's a place to receive encouragement as you cross into ONEderland. It's a place to "lay your bur... Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:19:55 EST How we handle life's interruptions http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4586563 Over the past couple weeks, I've gone from mourning to celebrating and now to refocusing. It has felt like a bit of a whirlwind. First my student died, and the loss truly threw me off my plans. Then my daughter had a birthday WEEK. lol. Celebrating my daughter's 7th birthday really helped to restore my joy. And now today, I am refocused and recommitted. Not too much damage was done during these life interruptions, and I am so proud of that. Yeah, couple pounds crept back on. But I di... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 06:44:29 EST Life is precious http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4569888 This has been a difficult week. One of the best students that I've had the priviledge to work with passed away Monday evening. She just graduated in May Summa Cum Laude and started her first year in Medical School. She became ill and within weeks, she was gone to be with the Lord. I can't begrudge God because He loved her first and He loved her best. I'm not surprised that He'd want her to be amongst His angels in heaven because she was truly a loving and caring person. I've had some ti... Sat, 5 Nov 2011 16:08:08 EST Alignment http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4564457 I am so grateful to God for helping me to finally have consistency in my life. I can honestly say that my actions are aligning with the words that I write and speak. It's so easy to say what we are "planning" to do. It's quite another to just do it. However, I am also glad for the word that came forth from my pastor a couple weeks ago that said, "Say it until you see it." There is power is claiming a vision for our lives and daily affirming it. However, it's great to be in a season of m... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 07:18:20 EST Know your worth http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4561469 One of my favorite things to tell people is, "Jesus paid it all, so don't sell yourself short." One of the things that I find with us as women is that we often don't know our worth. We put everyone and everything before us. At times we seek confirmation and affirmation in others. However, my constant message to all that I come into contact with and to myself is, "Know your worth." We are worthy of happy, fulfilling lives. We are worth every bit of effort that we are putting into transfo... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 13:20:48 EST My faith activated God's favor http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4559495 When I look back over the last three months, I am amazed at the transformation that has occurred in my life. I must say that at the end of July, I was not in a very good place for I had worked so hard to "prove my worth" on my job that I had inadvertantly failed to take care of me. As a result, I had gained a lot of weight and I just felt overwhelmed with life. But on one wonderful morning, it's like God pressed the reset button. He began to work in and through me because I surrendered my... Sun, 30 Oct 2011 05:23:23 EST Singing J Moss's http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4558349 It's wonderful when a song can just soothe your soul. The chorus to J Moss's song, "Lord, rebuild me" is just on repeat in my mind and spirit this morning. It says: <BR> <BR> "Lord rebuild me(2x) <BR> For I’ve taken what You’ve made & thrown its value away <BR> Oh Lord, won’t You rebuild me." <BR> <BR> What an in-season message. I reclaim the value of my life with each step that I take and each eating choice that I make. Sat, 29 Oct 2011 08:03:17 EST Are you one decision away from your destiny? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4556869 Whether it's losing weight, starting a business, going back to school or whatever your goal is, sometimes your ability to be fruitful in your efforts is dependent upon one decision. It's not always about the who, what, when, where and how...am I going to pay for it. Sometimes, it's just a matter of making the decision that YOU ARE WORTH IT. You are worth investing in. You are worth the hard work that must be put in. You are worth it, not because of your pedigree or degree, but because Go... Fri, 28 Oct 2011 05:39:04 EST The menstrual miracle lol http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4555314 In this last few months of my weightloss journey, I've learned something valuable about my body. The first thing is that I should stay off the scale during that time of the month because it either causes a gain or to maintain, which can be frustrating. But then the following week looks like a post-menstrual miracle. For example, I only lost .5 over two Biggest Loser weekly weigh ins at my job. But now that my cycle is securely gone, it looks like I've lost 3 lbs just since Monday. Lol. I... Thu, 27 Oct 2011 05:33:29 EST God knows how much we can bear, but do we? http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4553671 When we are highly motivated in one or two areas of our lives, there is a temptation to take on more and more tasks. However, sometimes we have to really assess whether new challenges should be tackled. Will we still be able to maintain balance if we add something else to our plate? <BR> <BR> For example, I'm doing great with my weightloss and I've also been diligently working on becoming debt free. With all the success lately, there is a temptation to deal with career, educational and r... Wed, 26 Oct 2011 06:05:44 EST There's more to me than the eye can see http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4552897 Hmmm. I'm feeling like a little humor today. <BR> There's more to me than the eye can see...even though there is a lot for the eye to see. <BR> Tue, 25 Oct 2011 16:39:01 EST Singing http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4548781 Even though I woke up much earlier than I would have preferred, I thank God for the thoughts that were on my mind as I opened my eyes. I just had a feeling that something great is on the horizon for me, possibly even today. I feel reinvigorated. I prayed that my pastor would say a confirming word, but I also spoke some things into my own life. Sometimes you have to say and think a thing until it manifests itself, but then you also have to ACT when there is something required of you. I'm ... Sun, 23 Oct 2011 06:49:57 EST Tis the season for giving http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4547892 It's not Christmas time yet, but it is always a season for giving. So today I'm in the giving mood. I want to give each of you a hi-five and booty bump for making the choice to live victoriously. Although you may not be at your goal weight yet, rejoice in knowing that you're making progress. <BR> <BR> Each day, I make choices. I am committed to ensuring that those choices are ones that will take me closer to where I desire to be spiritually, emotionally, physically and financially. <BR> ... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 13:57:11 EST I sing because I'm happy http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4518339 Yesterday, one of my students told me, "you're always singing." And the truth be told...it's an involuntary thing. I don't always realize that I'm doing it. I sometimes even dance, too. In the words of a famous gospel song, "I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free." I'm freed from the negative image of self that plagued me throughout my adulthood. I'm freed from the childhood demons that had been chasing me. I'm freed from my own perfectionism. I'm freed from the pressure t... Tue, 4 Oct 2011 07:09:00 EST The power of partnership http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4517347 I am so proud of my biggest loser team at my job. On my team, I have a co-worker and one of our students. Today we had our week 3 weigh-in, and here are the results. <BR> <BR> I lost 4.5 lbs <BR> Co-worker lost 2 lbs <BR> Student lost 3 lbs. <BR> <BR> <em>9</em> <em>321</em> <BR> <BR> I am so proud of my team (I'm the team captain). We're each doing something different, but we're working toward a common goal. I work out with the co-worker just on Mondays and last week we had a hea... Mon, 3 Oct 2011 16:21:08 EST 20 lbs down, including 12 1/2 lbs of fat since July woohoo http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4514662 Okay, I may not be a math genius, but I do know a little something. I looked at my weight and fat percentage in July and currently. I'm now down a little over 20 lbs since July, and 12.5 lbs of that is fat. I couldn't be happier. On top of that I went shoe shopping yesterday (since I'm determined not to buy outfits until my clothes are falling off), and shoes fit differently now. My feet aren't as fat. So I was able to easily fit in shoes that I tried on just a couple months ago, with r... Sun, 2 Oct 2011 06:29:47 EST Don't let big drawers confuse you http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4513230 Okay, I'm going to give you all a light-hearted blog for a change. I was getting ready for work one day this week and when I looked in the mirror while standing in my underwear, I had an epiphany. <BR> <BR> It's time to get rid of the big drawers! <BR> <BR> Sometimes, you can feel bigger just because your clothes are too big. I had on my big girl panties that are most useful when it's that time of the month. My butt look gi-normous! I was like, "Dang, it doesn't look like I lost any we... Sat, 1 Oct 2011 07:56:21 EST Emancipate yourself from the judgement of others http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4506142 As obese people in this society, we can expect that sometimes people will judge us. They will be secretly upset with us when we sit next to them on the plane and crowd their space. They often have preconceived notions that we are lazy, disorganized and out of control. However, no one knows your story or your journey. <BR> <BR> They have no idea why the weight is there...whether you have a medical disorder, predisposition due to family history, grew up in a food desert, started self-medica... Tue, 27 Sep 2011 06:59:48 EST It's all in my belly! http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4498126 Can you feel the Holy Spirit nudging you, encouraging you to step out on faith? I can. I honestly don't know why we sometimes fight it. Once God has impregnated you with destiny, it's going to come out whether we like it or not. The question we have to ask ourselves is are we going to miscarry it because we fail to nurture it? Or are we going to see this thing through until delivery? Thu, 22 Sep 2011 09:20:51 EST Some things...more money just won't solve http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4447105 At a particular time in my life when it felt like my finances were in limbo, I prayed for a promotion or another job. Sure enough, God answered my prayers (or so I thought). I got that promotion in a very short amount of time. However, it felt like my life turned upside down. Yes, I got a little bit of a raise, but I got a WHOLE lot more work. As a result, August 2010 to July 2011 had to be the most stressful time in my entire life. No joke. I regained all the 30 lbs that I lost from J... Thu, 25 Aug 2011 03:59:57 EST Not knowing is dangerous http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4439359 How often do you eat something and have absolutely no idea how many calories are in it? No idea about the sugar or fat content? Today, I'm recommitting to food tracking. Sometimes, an item can be small in size and impact on your appetite, but it can really pack on the pounds. Yesterday, I ate something and I honestly don't know what its caloric impact was. However, I got on the scale this morning and it ticked up. In sheer volume, I didn't each much, but it must have been a really poor ... Sun, 21 Aug 2011 03:24:59 EST Fire! But don't call 911. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4437576 I'm like Jeremiah...I've got fire shut up in my bones that won't leave me alone. When God lights a fire in you, don't you dare extinguish it. Find others who can be like lighter fluid. Keep that fire burning. You can talk about destiny, the promise or whatever you want, but faith without works is dead. To my people who are so ready to do a new thing, stand up! Or let me break it down, "Put up or shut up." <BR> Fri, 19 Aug 2011 22:37:42 EST Knowing your bodyfat % is empowering http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4433618 I'm excited because knowledge truly is power. I've lost 13 pounds, but the awesome thing is that 9 of those pounds is fat. It's great to be able to measure bodyfat. Even when it appeared that I had hit a plateau, I still saw the bodyfat go % go down. <BR> <BR> And the last thing I'm rejoicing about it being able to clearly feel bone on my shoulder. I usually just feel fat, so this was something new today. woohoo. Wed, 17 Aug 2011 22:06:05 EST Knowing when it's too much http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4401622 I've discovered that I have a propensity to be overzealous. So when I ate chocolate, I binged. Likewise, when I'm trying to lose weight, I have a tendency to overdo it. For example, I know that I probably exercised a little too much over the last week. I was just trying to get in all I could before my daughter comes back from her road trip. But the downside is that we risk injury. So my prayer is that God would help me to have balance...when I'm eating and working out. I know that we t... Tue, 2 Aug 2011 07:41:27 EST Singing...We all need somebody to lean on http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4396527 Today I hired a trainer, and I am so excited. It's great when it seems like somebody is happy to work with you. And ladies, the brother is serious eye candy...even though it's not about that. (A bonus though). lol. I paid for 3 months worth of sessions upfront. I start on Tuesday. I've also made a commitment with one of my co-workers to work out with her every Monday after work. For the last 2 weeks, we've met up once per week. And we share weight lost on Wednesday (the day she weigh... Sat, 30 Jul 2011 21:01:50 EST Grateful http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4395269 I really do have an attitude of gratitude this early morning (3:00 am). It's like I need a new birth certificate or something because I definitely feel like I've got new life. I'm getting my life in order and rediscovering joy. <BR> <BR> My prayer is that God would continue to make me over. Sat, 30 Jul 2011 04:24:26 EST God, thank You for reminding me who I am http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4393376 On July 21, 2011, I had a major breakthrough. For one of the rare times in my life, I asked for help. I went to my supervisor and asked for a reassignment of some duties so that I would have the mental freedom to work on me. In short, the answer was No. I was basically told I am too much of an asset to have those duties reassigned. While in some ways that was a compliment, it certainly wasn't the answer I was hoping for. But how many of you know that the world's "No way" can be an invit... Fri, 29 Jul 2011 05:57:13 EST The light in the tunnel http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4391413 Although people often say, "I see the light at the end of the tunnel," today I proclaim that I see the light "in" the tunnel. For I am committed to experiencing joy and pleasure in life even while I'm on this long journey to lose about 120+ pounds. That's a whole person, and it certainly won't occur overnight. So my challenge to myself is to appreciate everyday and the internal growth that I'm experiencing. I try to wake up and smile at myself...celebrate the fact that I'm in a process ... Thu, 28 Jul 2011 08:17:21 EST Lessons from Little Red Writing Hood http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=4378425 Michelle, what big feet you have? <BR> "All the better to walk into my destiny" <BR> Michelle, what a big head you have? <BR> "All the better to dream big" <BR> Michelle, what big arms you have? <BR> All the better to hold you up <BR> Michelle, what big hands you have? <BR> "All the better to take you with me to destiny" <BR> <BR> Your perspective will change when you understand your destiny is bigger than any deformity. Respect the body that God gave you. Realize that your bounty might be... Fri, 22 Jul 2011 02:16:11 EST