CRYSUNSHINE714's SparkPeople Blog CRYSUNSHINE714's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Time for a change again?!?! Basically at the end of January I fell off the wagon and hard. I screwed up yet another weekend and thought I can't do this if I'm going to keep screwing up. Something has to be wrong with me. I was in this horrible mindset and the outcome of that was a 5 pound gain. Ouch right?! The 5 pound gain isn't the wake up call. No for most people it would be right. Nope not this mama... What was the ah ha you may ask?! Well since you asked... LOL. I was going through some paperwork, figuring out some... Thu, 6 Mar 2014 16:07:03 EST think before you act... I was so ready to put myself down yet again. (The usual roller-coaster of emotion) Then I weighted myself and saw that I am down another 5 lbs. Then I looked back at everything that has happened. I looked through my journal and my food journal (I use my fitness pal) and I realized something. I'm not giving myself enough credit. I have been eating very well and exercising whenever my daughter let's me. I didn't do so hot on Sunday and Monday but that seems to be a habit of mine. Whenever my hu... Thu, 23 Jan 2014 15:08:35 EST Weekends are killer... I can't believe one weekend did me in. It killed my motivation and also brought back all those horrible habits I was doing so well to control. I don't understand why I do this to myself. I don't understand.... Maybe I will never understand. The only good thing that happened is that I didn't gain any weight. I weigh the same but I'm not hopeful about that because with my luck the crap I ate will probably catch up with me. I almost feel like I do this on purpose. I mess up once and it throws a... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 14:22:28 EST Working through the cravings.... So today started that time of the month. Normally as I was food shopping this morning I would have purchased a ton of candy and chips to satisfy that sweet and crunchy cravings that take over my mind. I'm very proud of myself. I purchased some fresh red seedless grapes to satisfy that sweet and crunchy craving. And thus far it's working. I also purchased some lemons and sliced them up and put it in the a baggy and into the freezer it went. It's great! It gives my boring water a little flavor ... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 23:52:46 EST Another day... I've been looking online for some motivational videos and other healthy living help. I came across a video that simple showed a bunch of men and women who have been on this journey and have lost a ton of weight. It shows before and after pictures followed by the person simply saying "I'm worth it"... Watching this video brought a tear to my eye because I believe a big issue of mine is that I don't think I'm worth it. Or at least I didn't. I think having my daughter and getting married has cha... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 15:24:56 EST Pretty Good... Today I must say I did pretty good. Not perfect but good. I can't expect to be perfect all the time because than I'm setting myself up for failure. And I'm determined that won't happen again. <BR> <BR> Today's Accomplishments: <BR> <BR> 1) Drank 64ozs water <BR> <BR> 2) Ate 8 servings of vegetables <BR> <BR> 3) 46 minutes of exercise in today <BR> <BR> 4) Planned healthy meals for the week <BR> <BR> 5) Made a healthy shopping list <BR> <BR> 6) Made a chore schedule (I've been depress... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 23:49:11 EST Believing again... I have been doing a lot of soul searching these last few days & A lot of reading about other people's journeys and I have learned a lot. The two main things I learned is that I need to take baby steps and that I am not alone. I think I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to lose the weight. Don't get me wrong I need to lose at least 75lbs but I don't have to do it all at once. I can start by changing my eating and than working on adding exercise and drinking more water and so on and s... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 22:47:47 EST Why do I do this to myself? I'll never understand why I torture myself so much. I'm not happy and I truly want to make a change. I just don't understand why I just can't do it. I try and try and than loose my motivation and than it's all over. It's not like I don't know what I need to do. I know I need to get healthier for myself as well as my 13 month old daughter & my husband. I need to drink more water. I need to not eat out of boredom. I need to eat cleaner. I need to get more active. I need to make this a new lifes... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 23:32:55 EST Day 17 I haven't been able to blog in a while. My computer broke. The hard drive burned out. My husband bought me a new one. He knew I was going a little crazy and needed a link to the outside world. It's been so cold I couldn't even leave the house. Which has left me a bit depressed and everyone knows how well depression and food go. Yea I fell off the wagon and hard. I was doing so well too. Anyway, I'm proud to say I have my computer back and now I can go back to my SP. I didn't realize how much ... Sun, 17 Feb 2013 11:06:53 EST Day 8 Nothing much happened today. I'm a bit off track and need to wake up. I think I'm going to go through my old blogs to find my motivation back. I'm starting to deflate a bit. Well I'm exhausted... Going to bed! Nighty Night All! Sweet Dreams!! Thu, 7 Feb 2013 00:34:34 EST Day 7... Horrible Day! Today was just plain horrible. I asked my husband to run to the store for me because it was way too cold to take the baby out and God forbid he sat with her alone. Anywho, all I asked for was chicken cutlets, eggs, and a bagged salad. What he came home with was eggs, chicken breast (which was fine... I can work with that), bagged salad, and 2 packs of cookies. I nearly cried. I asked him why would he bring something like that in the house. Especially knowing that I am trying to loose the baby... Wed, 6 Feb 2013 00:21:04 EST Day 6 Today wasn't so bad. I didn't get any exercise in but I did get in do a 5 min walk to the store. That's really it. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to working out. I kinda missed it today. The problem is I really can't do anything with my husband around. He's really a pain in the ass. Undermining everything that I do. From cleaning the house to taking care of the baby to what tv show I'm watching. It's just so much easier to get everything done when he's not home. I know it's so sad. Believe me... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 00:22:40 EST Day 5 (Superbowl Sunday) I didn't get any exercise yesterday because I was in so much pain. My arms and legs were killing me. LOL. My eating could have been better but wasn't as horrible as it would have been in the pass. I stopped at 1 when in the pass I would have eaten until I was sick. Through out the course of the day I had 1 empanada, 1 jalapeño popper, and 1 sandwich from a 6 foot hero (no mayo and I pulled it apart. Too much bread). I only took one bit of my husbands cannoli when before I would have sat there... Mon, 4 Feb 2013 11:59:53 EST Day 4 Today wasn't too bad. I actually got in a half hour of exercise in today. The baby watched me make a fool of myself using the WiiFit. She just sat there and laughed at me. She's such a good girl. Today was also day 4 of eating well. My brother is a pain in the ass and tried to tempt me with some donuts and cake. He's lucky I love him or else I think I would have beat him over the head with the goodies. The felt bad that I ruined the cakes. Lol. I just can't be trusted with that stuff in the h... Sun, 3 Feb 2013 00:50:20 EST Day 3 Today went well.. Ate well and got in some fitness. Worked on the Wii Fit I really love the Rhythm Boxing. My daughter actually napped. She was such a good girl today. So, I cleaned the house, cooked dinner, and squeezed in 16 min exercise. The Wii Fit said I burned 120 calories but Spark Tracker said I only burned 82. Weird? It is what it is. As long as it was a burn... <BR> <BR> <em>75</em> Sat, 2 Feb 2013 00:09:49 EST February Goals... I have decided to take part in more challenges to see if that will help me on my journey. This challenge is to write a blog about our February goals. Here goes nothing: <BR> <BR> 1) Workout 3-5 days a week ( I have to remind myself I need a rest day) <BR> <BR> 2) Eat 3 Square Meals a day and 2 Healthy Snacks <BR> <BR> 3) Make sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep (Of coarse this depends on my 10 week old) <BR> <BR> 4) Loose 5 lbs for the month (I'll try more but it's nice to have a goa... Fri, 1 Feb 2013 22:04:18 EST Fitbit One? I'm debating if I want to get a Fitbit or not. It looks good and probably would help but the site really doesn't help with questions. Is there a monthly fee? Is there a contract? Or do you just pay for the fitbit and that's it? If anyone knows it would be great appreciated! Thanks!! <BR> <BR> <em>30</em> Fri, 1 Feb 2013 19:34:32 EST Day 2 Hello Folks... Yesterday was a little difficult to talk a walk or even workout. It was really cold outside and the baby would not take her nap. Like my mom would say, "she is full of piss and vinegar" LOL. But food went well. Let's hope for another good day. It's still too cold out to take a walk with the baby so I'm going to clean the house and play with the Wii Fit for a bit. Have some fun! Hope everyone has a great day!! <BR> <BR> <em>80</em> Fri, 1 Feb 2013 14:39:25 EST Day 1 of the rest of my life... So, I've read all the comments on my blog and am so thankful for them. They gave me that boost that I needed. Really Thank you so much. It hit a special place in my heart that needed to be awaken. I've decided to take one day at a time and sometimes things get in the way but even if I do a little something it's better then nothing. I've decided that I am going to make a bigger goal... I read a blog about someone who ran one of the marathons that disney offers. It sounded so inspirational that... Thu, 31 Jan 2013 00:33:24 EST Motivation? I just don't know what to do... I had a great start. I was ready to get going and get healthy. I was going to join the gym with a couple of friends because we can push each other and hold each other accountable. You know all that good stuff. We finally make plans to get together. We meet up (I'm late because had to drop the baby by my mom). We have a nice walk just talking about life and a healthier us. We get to the gym. I fill out a questionnaire, I was truthful (which was a mistake) and an... Sun, 27 Jan 2013 12:40:04 EST The Climb "The Climb" <BR> By Miley Cyrus <BR> <BR> <BR> I can almost see it. <BR> That dream I'm dreaming, but <BR> There's a voice inside my head saying <BR> You'll never reach it <BR> Every step I'm takin' <BR> Every move I make <BR> Feels lost with no direction, <BR> My faith is shakin' <BR> But I, I gotta keep tryin' <BR> Gotta keep my head held high <BR> <BR> There's always gonna be another mountain <BR> I'm always gonna wanna make it move <BR> Always gonna be an uphill battle <BR... Thu, 24 Jan 2013 16:22:31 EST New Beginnings I went out for the first time with Amelia by myself. We went for a walk and to the super market. She was so well behaved. I thought I was going to have issues because I have yet to even work my carriage by myself but all went well. Today I cleaned my house, took care of my 6 week old, went for an hour walk and went to the market with the princess and ate healthy. I'm very proud of myself. I'm going to try to work out on the Wii after I lay her down to sleep but we all know how well that is go... Tue, 8 Jan 2013 18:48:35 EST Doctor Update... I'm proud to say that I have been cleared by my doctor. I have to be careful with working on the abs but other then that I am good. The incision was hurting me but the doctor said that it's just healing. I'm very excited to start this new journey of my life. Tomorrow starts a new beginning!! Let the new me start to shine. You'll be hearing a lot more from me.... <em>30</em> Mon, 7 Jan 2013 22:31:00 EST Doc Appointment... I have a doctors appointment today to see whether or not I am cleared after my c-section if I am allowed to start to work out. I'm worried that the doc will say no. The last few days my incisions has been hurting. I asked my husband to look at it, because I can't see it because of my tummy being stretched, he said that it looked irritated. I'm praying all is well. Here's to getting clearance!!! Wish me luck! <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> <em>80</em> Mon, 7 Jan 2013 01:11:23 EST It isn't easy... It isn't easy being a mommy. I barely have time for myself. I can't wait to see what happens when the doctor oks me to exercise again as of January 7th. I would love to see how I shall squeeze in exercise too. OH BOY!!! I give credit where women are able to do everything... work, exercise, baby care, household work, etc.... Wow... I'm sure I'll figure it out but right now I'm a bit overwhelmed. Which I'm sure is normal. I can say at least that blogging helps a bit... Let's continue this fun! ... Sat, 29 Dec 2012 20:09:28 EST Update.... Well I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. <BR> <img src=""> <BR> Amelia Ann <BR> 11/23/2012 <BR> 5:22 PM <BR> 7.9 lbs 20" <BR> <BR> She is the best thing that has ever happen to me (Next to marrying my best friend). I now know more then ever that I need to get healthy. I gained 6lbs after I gave birth from my original weight. Which isn't horrible but not good either. My weight is climbing because I've been in the house. I had a C-s... Tue, 25 Dec 2012 21:39:39 EST I took everyones advice... Well, back in February I had made a biog about not feeling well, being tired all the time, and hungry all the time. Well, I took everyones advice and went to the doctor back in March. It turns out I was vitamin D deficient and Pregnant. Yup... Who would have know. I've always been vitamin D deficient it explained the tiredness and the mood swings... The pregnancy happened after the fact. As the tiredness became worst and worst I had to see a doctor and I'm glad I did. So, sometime in February... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 16:21:52 EST Good and Bad Today was a good day because the Giants won and a bad day because it was like a holiday in my house. There was so much food and beer and all that other stuff that is bad for you. For the most part I think I was pretty good. Doesn't matter how good I thought I was... In the end all those calories add up. But I am looking at this like a new beginning to my new life. The old one left with a bang and the new one hopefully will finally put a smile on my face. One of these days I will smile again! ... Mon, 6 Feb 2012 02:15:49 EST A Good Day... My day wasn't so bad today. After a long day of work I met up with my best friend for coffee and a walk around the neighborhood. It turns out that she is going through the same thing that I am. We both are not happy with ourselves. Our better halves love us for who we are no matter how small or big we are. But what they don't understand is that we are tired of not being happy with ourselves. We can't look in the mirror without crying. Just all out not happy. So, we are both agree that it is t... Sat, 4 Feb 2012 23:40:22 EST Troubles I've noticed that since starting to count calories I am having problems hitting my number. Part of it I believe is that lately I'm just not hungry. Either I'm eating everything in site or I just don't want anything at all. I don't know maybe I'm just going crazy. Who knows?! One of these days I'll figure it out!! I'm promising myself this that one day it will all sink in. <BR> <BR> <em>214</em> Fri, 3 Feb 2012 23:47:51 EST I know I've said this before... I know I've said this before but I've figured something out. I know absolutely nothing about loosing weight. It sounds stupid but it's just true. I was thinking about joining my local YMCA to join the gym there and to maybe even get into sporting events. I used to love to play volleyball but now I can't breath. The asthma has gotten so bad due to the excess weight I put on. <BR> <BR> That's all fine and dandy to join the gym because it is just the beginning but then what... when do I go? Do... Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:41:31 EST My new beginning... I am back and ready for a change. The reason I haven't been back and simply because I kept telling myself "if you don't like it don't look and why should I have to change what I look like for anyone".... Now I have been thinking a lot. Everything that I have been saying is just an excuse on why not to get healthy and make a change. I am unhealthy no matter which way I look at it. I am finally doing something for myself by myself. <BR> <BR> The turning point for me was when I went on vacatio... Tue, 16 Aug 2011 13:33:09 EST Overnight Shifts.... These overnight shifts really kill me... I am constantly tired. I am sure that once I get into a routine it will be easier. It's just hard and I keep telling myself it has to get easier and don't quit.... (Not my job can't afford that, but working out).... I guess I just have to keep telling myself it will get better and it will. Have to have faith.... <BR> <BR> ~Chrissy <em>424</em> Thu, 7 Oct 2010 09:44:06 EST Time for a change.... I'm always making excuses for why I am the way I am... But it is time to stop the excuses and start a new. Time to feel better about myself. I am quit tired of hating myself (everything about me)... It is time for a change and it starts now... I am hoping Sparkpeople can help as much as everyone says it does... We shall see... Now if someone can help me when is the best time to work out ( I work overnights... Do I workout before or after work?) I will figure this out.... LOL! <BR> <BR> I ju... Mon, 4 Oct 2010 12:57:00 EST