CRYSTALJEM's SparkPeople Blog CRYSTALJEM's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Processing First, pet peeve - is there any way to blog on SP from your mobile device? Find having to wait to use my computer very frustrating! <BR> <BR> Second of all I want to shout out to my very special SP friends, you know who you are. You are the ones that consistently comment on my blogs and page and support me even when I drop off the face of the earth. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there in my sparky cyber world. I know there are other supporters out there who may read and no... Mon, 25 Jul 2016 10:21:27 EST Not My Business I read Watermellen's blog this morning with a resounding YES! Not my problem. <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6204192 </link> <BR> <BR> I have been struggling with a version of this myself. I've been doing a lot of reflection and have come to realize <BR> <BR> 1) I'm a people pleaser and it causes me as much grief as pleasure, maybe a little more in the long run <BR> <BR> 2) I'm a people chaser. Once I get vested in someone, I tend to want to... Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:39:23 EST I Think I Can I Know I Can Every once in awhile that old story from childhood comes to mind. <BR> <BR> The Little Engine That Could <BR> <BR> That's me. I don't always seem as confident and chipper as I remember that little engine in the book, but at least I keep going. <BR> <BR> Also noticed today that I have been using the terms plodding and slogging a lot lately and you know what, my body has started to feel like it. So, time to change my vocabulary. I'm moving forward with determination and direction, open to ad... Thu, 14 Jul 2016 02:26:33 EST Bound and Determined Yep, I am! Hello my fellow spark buddies! <BR> <BR> Right now life is still a roller coaster and to be honest, I've never been overly found of roller coasters. The ride is usually just a tad more extreme than I like but..... what do I always say about comfort zones? Gotta step out of them... the universe sort of makes sure I take my own advice. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was a less than stellar day and for once I went with it. I'm still a work in progress (and a dang good masterpiece too) but I ... Wed, 13 Jul 2016 10:39:23 EST I Am The Possibility <img src=""> <BR> <BR> It's 2:00 a.m. and I feel quite wide awake. My husband just wondered downstairs to get water and check on me, like he does any night I stay up. I crave my own time and my own space. I seem to have a hard time making certain people understand how imperative that is to my sanity and health overall. So I eek it out where I can. I am no longer apologetic about it. <BR> <BR> I live in a 2000 sq... Sat, 9 Jul 2016 04:31:52 EST It's A New Day It is a new day. <BR> <BR> I had hoped it would start of bright (it did) <BR> I had hoped it would start of rested (it did - although note, need to add more lavender) <BR> I had hoped to feel happy (I don't) <BR> I had hoped to feel motivated (I don't) <BR> I had hoped to feel in the flow (I don't) <BR> <BR> And some days, that is just life. Looking on the bright side, it's an opportunity to open up that tool kit I mentioned yesterday (even though I don't want to) and see if I can determine... Fri, 8 Jul 2016 10:41:13 EST The Question of Depression Good Morning World! <BR> <BR> Yesterday a couple of people wondered if I was depressed. I am here to unequivocally reassure you all that yep, I am. Well, a bit. <BR> <BR> First what is depression? <BR> <BR> "Depression: An illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that affects the way a person eats, sleeps, feels about himself or herself, and thinks about things. Depression is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can... Thu, 7 Jul 2016 10:12:41 EST Lovely Lavendar Ok, it doesn't hurt that my favourite colour for the last number of months has definitely been purples of many shades. Not a surprise then on one hand when purple lavender came to my rescue quite by chance (if there ever is such a thing as chance or coincidence!) <BR> <BR> Within everything going on in my life over the last (gawd can it actually be almost a year!) has left me filled with many emotions at different times. Quite often that has resulted in a less than restful sleep. Strangely a... Wed, 6 Jul 2016 09:53:39 EST Safe Place Spark is my safe place, my zone. It's where I tend to come when I'm feeling weak and lost and need to rejuvenate. Where I focus on my health - regardless of which area that may be or if it's all tied up into one, like today. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Life is a glorious struggle, sometimes it's actually fun and invigorating other times not so much. Sometimes it feels like a slog. <BR> <BR> I've pulled out ... Tue, 5 Jul 2016 08:55:17 EST Get Over It Already That's what came to me loud and clear this morning. Loudly. In my head. Just Get Over It Already! <BR> <BR> It doesn't matter what "it" is, or how many "it's" there are, how hard "it" is, how big and scary "it" is. It's just time. <BR> <BR> It's time to stop or to start or to push through. But it's time. <BR> <BR> There's a part of me that doesn't want to. There's a part of me that is relieved. <BR> <BR> It's time. <BR> <BR> Get over it already girl. <BR> <BR> On it. <BR> <BR> Namas... Thu, 30 Jun 2016 09:00:19 EST Monday It's grad week here. Still in denial I think, but for the most part actually ready. Not much to be ready about really. Looking forward to it I think. It will really sink in tomorrow when everyone is at the banquet and then the exercises the next night. Wow. First one done - not out the door, but done high school. I'm ok with it, don't have any choice, but I really am ok with it. Finally. And, I'll bawl my eyes out anyway. <BR> <BR> Have pretty much put my weight back where I want it to be b... Mon, 27 Jun 2016 13:53:11 EST Numbness <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I woke up late. Forgot to set my alarm. I'm always up before my alarm. Never like starting my day like that, just always feels "off". <BR> <BR> But I really tried to get it together. Put a smile on my face and hope in my heart and began my day. <BR> <BR> Wasn't doing too badly until... the judgement and questioning started. Again. Hard to keep boundaries in place when I verge on bein... Fri, 24 Jun 2016 11:42:01 EST Tuesday Tantrum First off, before I forget, I want to thank everyone who reads and comments on my blogs. The support I've received since I've been back has meant so much to me. I know I don't always send personal messages to say thank you but know each and every one of you means so much to me and makes my day just a little brighter when you stop by. Ok, a lot brighter. <BR> <BR> I feel like a toddler. Ego is sitting comfortably on my shoulder telling me what to do. What I haven't done. Where I've gone wrong... Tue, 21 Jun 2016 08:32:36 EST Ugh Yuck Fuggle It's Monday incase anyone needed reminding. However, <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I did my AM yoga for the first time in a long time and I feel better for it, going to make it routine again. <BR> <BR> It's also summer solstice - and full moon!!! Loved it, enjoyed it, set my intentions and completed my manifesting ritual. Improved my head space immensely. <BR> <BR> Working at holding onto hope and passing o... Mon, 20 Jun 2016 11:01:57 EST And It Is Good It is a good day today. I'm on my own for basically the whole day and I'm grateful. Grateful for space, time and peace. Grateful for just being me. <BR> <BR> I didn't get my run in yesterday but I did weed my garden which was a bit of a workout even though the weeds were small. Felt very good and we even got a bit of rain so things should grow nicely. With the rain came some beautiful clouds, thunder and lightning. It was wonderful to fall asleep to the sound or rain and a bit of rumbling. <... Wed, 15 Jun 2016 12:40:43 EST Surprises, Success and Forward Momentum I went out this morning and did yard work! Yippee! A few months ago I was working out like a mad woman and loving it. And then my husband started hanging around home a lot more due to an injury and other things and I felt so watched that I completely quit. The best I was doing was walking. Half the time if I went with him he complained I was going to fast. It has taken me literally months to come back to a place of "me" which I so deserve. I live in a 2000 square foot house with no plac... Tue, 14 Jun 2016 12:49:17 EST Blissful Peaceful Calm I have finally reached my place of calm! It's about time I'm back in the flow... I can't say how long it will last but I'm grateful that I've reached it. I was in real need of it and it's nice to get up in the morning with confidence and peace. I just feel like I can manage what comes my way. <BR> <BR> I managed it even through this past weekend which entailed tragedy on the front pages yet again and having to cook for 24 people during a recording session. Even had time to write a blog. <BR... Mon, 13 Jun 2016 18:11:45 EST Fridays and Miracles It's Friday. Anticipation of a weekend used to put a spring in my step and a smile on my face. Now it's just another day on the same hamster wheel. <BR> <BR> My husband has been of work for a few months now with a work related injury, nothing serious, just one of those things that take "time". <BR> <BR> Let's just say it's added a number of new dimensions to my life, none of which I'm enjoying. That might sound cruel, but it's just the way it is. I'm trying to stay present, be in the moment... Fri, 3 Jun 2016 09:16:58 EST It's Morning It is. It's morning. It's grey, cool and windy. Not my kind of day. It's going to rain. But the good new is, we need the rain and it's finally here. Even if my garden isn't in yet. That's ok. I've put it in late and those have actually been some of my best gardens even though I don't get to enjoy the "early" produce and the spinach, one of my favourites, usually doesn't do well because it's too warm. However, I think I might have found a "cooler" slightly shadier spot to try it this year... Tue, 31 May 2016 09:13:44 EST RLA: Someone Funny how when you try to avoid things in life the universe eventually just pushes you off the merry go round and says, "There you go, you're welcome." <BR> <BR> I've been digging in my heels, leaving deep ruts in the ground as I'm being pushed. I am not going easily into what comes next. It doesn't matter that I know it needs to happen or that in the end it will all be good or that there is a big picture. I simply don't want to. I am screaming and kicking for all I'm worth. And I'm losing, ... Mon, 23 May 2016 14:31:31 EST Toooooo Long It's been too long since I wrote my last blog. Anywhere for that matter. It isn't even really that I'm too busy though I am extremely busy. Its simply that I have no space left to create. I feel claustrophobic and micromanaged. I can't keep my head straight enough to put words together. And, I feel judged. Lots to work on in my life right now. Blogging is usually one of the ways I do that. I miss it. I need it. So.... I'm going to do it. <BR> <BR> And this was the start. Onwards, upw... Fri, 13 May 2016 12:48:33 EST Goal Met! It's been a while since I posted. Life has been busy, full of change and it's been hard to wrap my mind around it all so a lot of time has been spent just being. <BR> <BR> During that time I kept my commitment to treating myself better and keeping the good habits I've formed. Unfortunately, still have one or two not so good ones to shed but that will come too. <BR> <BR> So... At my highest weight I got to almost 140. Still can't believe that. Really I can't. This mornings weigh in 109.... Sun, 27 Mar 2016 09:40:29 EST Life Is Always Interesting Even when it isn't always fun. <BR> <BR> I got into the groove <BR> I found my MOJO <BR> I got it working <BR> I was in the zone <BR> I felt complete <BR> Creative <BR> Powerful <BR> Determined <BR> Driven <BR> Motivated <BR> Inspired <BR> Unstoppable <BR> Unbeatable <BR> World changer <BR> Earth shaker <BR> Life changer <BR> <BR> I couldn't stop smiling, <BR> I couldn't stop trying, <BR> I couldn't stop the ideas from flowing <BR> <BR> I didn't need sleep <BR> I didn't need food <BR> W... Sun, 31 Jan 2016 13:22:16 EST RLA April in December Hi everyone! <BR> <BR> Hope the new year is going well for everyone so far. Looking forward to making it great - even though I don't know what that means for sure yet. Going with the flow. :) <BR> <BR> Here's the latest blog from Rise Like Air. Hope you enjoy. <BR> <BR> <BR> <link><BR>/april-in-december/ </link> <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ Mon, 4 Jan 2016 11:26:17 EST RLA Happy New Year Happy New Year everyone! <BR> <BR> It's going to be fantastic. I can tell. I can also tell it's going to be filled with challenges, amazing encounters, unbelievable and amazing things. I'm working at embracing pure uncertainty and learning to love it. At least not to run in abject fear! I am truly a work in progress. <BR> <BR> I'm working on a more detailed blog right now and hope to post it here soon. In the mean time, I thought I'd share my blog from Rise Like Air today. <BR> <BR>... Fri, 1 Jan 2016 14:21:35 EST Living Mondays Ok when things go crazy they really go crazy. <BR> <BR> I knew my life was due for some real upheaval. I could feel it coming, knew it needed to come. I also knew I could run toward it, sit and wait or run away. I would like to say I ran toward it, but in truth, I sat and waited. Better than running away. <BR> <BR> I feel like my world burst completely open, like a new spring flower. Opportunity, possibility, change, choice... a plethora of options and combinations.... just waiting for ... Mon, 30 Nov 2015 09:30:33 EST Catch Up Time I was informed the other day by a Spark friend that it's been a while since I posted a blog. She was very right. <BR> <BR> For the last month or two my life has been in overwhelming upheaval. It's all good, I think - but like all upheaval, even the good stuff provides challenges. Perspective shifts take a lot of time and energy to process. <BR> <BR> It's all terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.... potential for new relationships, work and personal. Potential for a new car... Mon, 23 Nov 2015 08:42:07 EST RLA: Playing and Growing Well, life has been busier than ever but it's been good. Thought I'd share another blog with you. <BR> <BR> Have a great day everyone! Hoping to take a rest this afternoon and catch up on some blog reading here. Cheer! <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ <BR> <em>414</em> Thu, 8 Oct 2015 11:49:30 EST RLA: What's The Difference? Haven't got much to say today, had a tiring night. Knew I had to be up early and that seemed to mean I couldn't get a good nights sleep. Eghad, I'm turning into my mother. Words of advice for any youngun's out there.... don't laugh at your parents "aged" trials and tribulations because those same trials and tribulations just might visit you..... and they seem a lot less humorous then. Go figure. <em>40</em> <BR> <BR> However, I treated myself and went back to bed for an hour after I g... Mon, 28 Sep 2015 10:59:08 EST RLA: Dreaming Today, is World Dream Day! <BR> <BR> #WorldDreamDay <BR> <BR> Check out my latest blog about why being a dreamer is a good thing. <BR> <BR> <BR> Wishing your big dreams that you make come true. <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ <BR> <BR> <link><BR>5/09/25/world-dream-day-2015-dream-big/ </link> Fri, 25 Sep 2015 12:45:07 EST Points for Trying Well, I might not wait until my year is up to add another item. Have to be careful because lately I have really felt like I am walking a tight rope. So many good things, but organizing, keeping track, being energetic, trusting my intuition, being true to myself, not letting others change me, staying positive, being kind, having other people's back, sometimes I have to really sit back and say "what have I done!" and "How can I do everything!" <BR> <BR> In truth I can't. That's where friends ... Thu, 24 Sep 2015 10:57:36 EST I'm Challenged! <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Well, as much as my life continues to be in turmoil just because of being busy, and having too many irons in the fire - it is still a very good life. <BR> <BR> I am still meeting the challenge I set for myself to log into to SP everyday for a year - even if all I do is get my points and do a quick check of my friend feed - and as you've probably noticed, over the past few months ther... Wed, 23 Sep 2015 10:54:47 EST RLA: Hearts Well, it's been awhile, busy living life - hurray! <BR> <BR> Just wanted to leave a link to my latest blog, hope you enjoy meeting this family. <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ <BR> <em>414</em> <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Thu, 17 Sep 2015 15:46:03 EST One Step At A Time <img src=""> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wow, over a month since the last blog. Time for a quick 5 minute blog. On my mark..... Go! <BR> <BR> It's been crazy busy. I have got to find balance in my pace because it isn't fun the way I'm doing it. Lots of fun, lots of stuff but I feel like I'm rushing through my life. Easy solution actually if I was alone, but I'm not and I really don't want to be either! But it adds a new d... Fri, 11 Sep 2015 08:09:44 EST RLA: When People Roar Busy Busy.... felt blue yesterday but feel sunshiny today! Hope everyone is doing great with life and goals and a little bit of fun here and there too. <BR> <BR> New blog.... not quite the usual flavour. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> and..... <BR> <BR> a little video sing along that you may (or mayn't) find amusing. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>hitEAE </link> <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ Thu, 30 Jul 2015 13:57:00 EST RLA: Saturdays Gotta run but thought I'd share. It's a good day! Have a great weekend. <BR> <BR> CJ <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Sat, 18 Jul 2015 10:36:41 EST RLA: People Do The Darnedest Things This was just a quick blog but the story was really touching to me. I mean how many people do we know who at such loss to themselves, would persevere to help people who weren't even sure what he was doing? <BR> <BR> In India, menstruation is still taboo in many places and for many people. One man decided to change that. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Have a great Friday and a great Weekend. <BR> <BR> Namaste, <BR> CJ <em>405</em> Fri, 17 Jul 2015 11:53:10 EST RLA: Close Encounters More hot, more humid, more moving slow... more not getting as much done as I'd like. Because I'm moving slow. (Ok, I know it should be slowly)... anyway. That's ok, because I just realized.... I'm still moving. I got this! <BR> <BR> I am alive! How do I know? <BR> I'm moving. <BR> I'm hot. <BR> My ear is itchy. <BR> My hand is numb. <BR> My cat is walking on my keyboard. <BR> My tea is delicious. <BR> And I am eternally GRATEFUL for all of it. <BR> <BR> Yep I'm alive. Slow is ok. Stop... Thu, 16 Jul 2015 09:24:25 EST RLA: Spirit Hi everyone! <BR> <BR> Busy busy today, but that's ok. <BR> <BR> So here's today's blog - an award winning essay by our guest blogger (my niece). Hope you enjoy! <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Namaste, CJ <em>414</em> Wed, 15 Jul 2015 09:27:38 EST RLA: Paying It Forward Happy Tuesday! <BR> <BR> Before I go any further I want to say a formal and big <em>304</em> to everyone who comments on my blogs, reads them, bothers to click on links. You guys really make my day. And far too often I don't manage to get back individually to say thanks and hi. I just wanted you to know that even with my lack of manners, it truly means the world to me. <BR> <BR> It dawned (apparently - hard to tell) grey and foggy. Really grey and foggy. Very wet too from the little ... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 10:12:07 EST Fitness Trackers Gather... Still keeping my weight level, which is much better than eking upwards. <BR> <BR> Read an interesting article today about fitness trackers and how a large number of people quit using them after only 6 months. <BR> <BR> I toyed with getting one, but let's face it, I know myself. 1) I seldom stick with gadgets for long and 2) I'm miserly. So, I haven't gotten one. I sort of assumed most people who bought them though would use them if they are committed fitness people. So this got me wonderin... Thu, 9 Jul 2015 13:04:05 EST RLA: Grief Had a great chat with my editor yesterday. She'd love to see more from me but she just found out she has $0 for freelancers. Yippee... not. Anyway, I still would be a byline, which I can use as experience and for references so I'll do 1 a month for a month or 2 and see where it goes. There's another vein of writing she's offering that sounds interesting that I would get paid for so I'm open. <BR> <BR> Also.... took a few minutes to pop up another RLA blog.... Here's the link: <BR> <BR> ... Wed, 8 Jul 2015 19:05:12 EST Read All About It! So my editor was dumb founded yesterday when she called to ask what I thought of my byline and I told her I hadn't seen it yet. I actually forgot it came out yesterday.... was thinking it was today.... cause the paper is dated today.... but it comes out one day early.... I know.... <BR> <BR> So.... she recommended I go get a coffee and enjoy. Which I did. Well I got a tea. And my kids were as excited as I was. <BR> <BR> As a matter of fact when they went to town they came home with a ca... Tue, 7 Jul 2015 09:49:07 EST The Sun Came Back! My cat is being very helpful with this entry this morning. Feeling rather cuddly after a night out I guess. Yep comfy, just laid down on all my paper work. Typical. That's ok. I'm in a good mood. <BR> <BR> Finally! The smoke is gone, at least for a while. A week of it was a bit much. My lungs and eyes and life in general need a break. Don't get me wrong. The people up north, they're living the nightmare, I've just got a bit of smoke to deal with. Was smart enough to start both my inhale... Mon, 6 Jul 2015 10:17:02 EST Cloudy with a Chance of Smoke Oh I want to get so much done today and am already floundering. All the smoke in the air makes it so dark all I really want to do is go back to bed and read and sleep. I am so tempted, but I've committed to things today! <BR> <BR> Stomach is churning over one of my kids again. Happy on the outside, maybe not so happy on the inside. Such a normal thing for many kids, but for this one, it's easy for it to spiral out of control. Trusting their ability to ask for help, trusting their ability to... Tue, 30 Jun 2015 12:09:10 EST It's Monday! Are You Ready? Began reading an interesting article (have to finish it yet) but I thought I'd share while I have a chance. It's from the Huffington Post and is called I Don't Have To Lose Weight To Be A Yogi. The pictures prove that fact - and let's face it. The idea of weight not having to hold us back is not new. I'm all for that. Quit letting "things" and "people" and "ideas" and "beliefs" hold us back! It's pretty simple really, when you want to do something "Just Do It!" Well it's all that simple w... Mon, 29 Jun 2015 10:17:23 EST RLA: Truth Well amongst all the things I haven't finished yet I did manage a tiny blog entry. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Hope you enjoy. <BR> <BR> Last night was the first night in I don't know how long where we didn't have anything "planned" so we stayed home and puttered at things - maybe not efficient, but much needed mental break. <BR> <BR> Watched American Ninja Warrior... <em>216</em> The girls are just making me want to reach every goal I set. <em>405</em> ... Thu, 18 Jun 2015 12:57:04 EST CWMR: Press Set Well, two Christmases ago I received a very nice brand new bathroom scale. You program in your height and sex and it determines your BMI and caloric range to keep you at the weight you currently are. It even saves the last results so you can review. <BR> <BR> So this morning, I finally set it up. Yes, finally. I told you I've been having a problem with getting things done in a timely fashion. This time it was simply not really wanting to know the truth. But lately I've been really good at ... Mon, 15 Jun 2015 11:29:43 EST CWMR: Down... Calorie Wise Meanderings and Ramblings: <BR> <BR> ... the scale that is. It's a slow decline but it is a decline never the less and I am celebrating it. <BR> <BR> Finding the foods that cause me to bloat up and gain that air and water weight is a very high priority for me. It makes a huge difference in how I feel so it's worth the effort. I'm not finding it easy, but worth it. I'm a bit immature when I choose to lose a food I "really really like" but a challenge is a challenge and I know i... Sat, 13 Jun 2015 11:49:03 EST CWMR: Organizing Calorie Wise Meanderings and Ramblings.... <BR> <BR> I keep trying to tweak my schedule so everything "fits". And it never does. Because while I try to stay mindful and pace myself I still get caught up in the world. A lot. It doesn't help that I'm an family unit. Like everything in life it has pros and cons. Pros outweigh the cons for me. But that doesn't mean I don't get frustrated with them. <BR> <BR> So I tried again today. I must admit, each attempt I get a bit better a bit more refine... Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:18:37 EST