CRAZY_KAT_1984's SparkPeople Blog CRAZY_KAT_1984's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Like no Grief Before Its February already?! Where has the time gone? <BR> I've never really felt like I was "in mourning" before. Sure, many people in my life have died-friends, classmates, family. I went to a Catholic school, so any time a member of the student body died, we had a funeral at school. Cheery, huh? While I was close to some of those, I was so depressed in those years that I was more thinking that I should be dead instead of them. Now, I may have mentioned in previous blogs about my uncle wh... Sat, 2 Feb 2013 14:51:38 EST A whole new level! <em>244</em> <em>104</em> <BR> I did it! I reached Level 14! My progress on here was kind of slow, because I slacked off on here frequently for the first few years...some of my excuses were good, some of them not. However, an excuse is just an excuse for not trying harder! A reason, such as injury, is different. Of course, you should try to reduce your risk-I digress. <BR> As some of you may know, I am dealing with depression. I have taken, what I consider, to be a violently pro... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 12:36:36 EST January Goals for 2013 My goal is a strong start this month! I'm tired of being a PROcrastinator (as is in, I'm really good at it!) I'm waiting to start the January Jumpstart Challenge until the 6th, since I'm in it for the prizes! LOL Yesterday, I posted my goals for the year. I have certainly broken these down, to be tackled by month. Of course, some of my goals can't be put into steps any more than they are. There you have it. I'm trying to gear my monthly goals this year toward supporting my year goals... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 07:26:45 EST 2012 Finale Wow! The year is OVER! I can't believe it <em>198</em> <BR> I didn't really reach my goals for 2012-any of them. However, I did keep trying all year. I didn't give up or quit, even though I stumbled. I think a more modest approach for 2013 is in order, especially since I need to develop my patience anyway. Compassion for myself-at least as much as I have for others-is also in order. I was inspired by The Slowest Loser's blog about how he stopped the Mayan Apocalypse and decided to ... Mon, 31 Dec 2012 12:31:00 EST My first day with FitBit Wow! Can you say user friendly?! It was so simple to get going, I couldn't believe it. Plus, I totally love that it tracks for me! I've started this overnight cleaning job, which translates to about 7 hours of cleaning/walking time. I'd been trying (not too hard, though) to figure out how to track this exercise. Enter FitBit. It tracks more calories burned for me than SparkPeople, but I'm sticking with my SparkPeople calories burned. By the way, thank you SparkPeople for linking with ... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 11:17:40 EST Making It Happen! Ow! That's a word for how I'm feeling right now. A few other accurate choices would be: happy, relaxed, content, excited. I've started another job (finally!) It feels so great to be making closer to what I need to meet my bills!!! I've got a cleaning job, actually; I'm cleaning our state capitol building overnights. Some people may not like working overnights, but I sure do! I hate waking up in the morning, with the sun all bright. I'd much rather get up at night & sleep during the d... Wed, 19 Dec 2012 09:43:12 EST Exceeded my SparkAmerica Goal!!! <em>244</em> <em>104</em> <BR> Its been awhile since I've posted on my blog. Its a long story, but I'll just say I've been running wild for the last couple of months, excluding the last two weeks and this one. I was helping a friend but have come to realize that, while he was (and still is) my friend, I don't believe I was his. I just believe in helping anyone as much as I can. There is so much bad in this world that I can't stop, so the only thing I can do is a much good as ... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 20:45:49 EST Feeling Strong! <em>244</em> <BR> I'm on a roll!! I feel so great that I'm sticking to my goals and the scale is creeping downward. I weigh in daily, so I really notice what happens when I overeat too often. Also, I really want to believe my doctor that if I lose enough weight, I won't need to take my acid reflux medicine anymore. <em>24</em> Plus, exercising really makes me feel good! I've definitely noticed a difference in my mood on days when I exercise and days when I just laze about. I cer... Fri, 14 Sep 2012 23:12:10 EST It's alright now Well, I'm feeling pretty good about today! I'm going to be over my calorie range due to excessive snacking, and I haven't had dinner yet...oh, well. My weight is going down, I'm burning enough calories. Life is good! I've finally gotten down below 250# again, and I intend to stay below 250#!!! I'm still trying not to be disappointed in myself about how I haven't lost the 70# I planned to at the beginning of the year by now. I'll feel super if I can reach 241# by the end of the month. A... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 19:19:47 EST The Streak-day 1 Today, I got a late start again! I apparently slept through two of my three alarms after waking up halfway through the night...Oh, well. I'm working on getting back on a regular schedule for sleeping, not only because it helps with weight loss, but because I like to sleep <em>102</em> So, I had to skip my workout. My goal every day is to get the workout out of the way first, that way I won't be too tired to do it later. I had to run some errands and catch a ride with my dad. That all ... Sat, 8 Sep 2012 00:27:18 EST Progress, not Perfection I don't even remember where I read that, but I do know it was Spark People-related. I like to remind my fellow struggling or frustrated Sparker that's what to focus on, not how far you haven't gotten. That's just so negative! I've struggled with depression for most of my life, and I am, frankly, sick of negative thinking. I don't want to get into a story for another time, but let's just say my mom has been a profuse and persistent source of negativity about as far back as I can remember f... Fri, 7 Sep 2012 01:13:27 EST The good with the bad I'm feeling guilty about eating too much today <em>15</em> <BR> I didn't really plan well today, but I also need to go to the grocery store with my few remaining dollars...not a great combination. I can't drive right now, either, so I have to pay $2 round-trip on the bus or catch a ride with my family at their convenience. Those are just excuses, though. I could at least stay within my calorie range, right? I've also been pretty sedentary today apart from my workout, so I guess I'll see... Thu, 6 Sep 2012 00:45:18 EST Back by popular demand! <em>246</em> <BR> I kid, I kid! Its been a while since I posted a blog. Its time for me to review my progress no that we're in the last quarter of the year. I'm not really happy with my pounds lost <em>24</em> I had wanted to be down 70# at this point when I was planning my goals at the beginning of this year. Wow! I'm down about 18, but I circle around up and down a few pounds. Anyone else experience this? Of course, I have not been as consistent as I would like. Well, what matte... Tue, 4 Sep 2012 22:37:07 EST Getting Back on Track I was on hiatus for a while, since about the middle of April until last week. I had recently gotten back in touch with a friend of 12 years. He's been a very good friend and was going to be leaving town June 4th, so I was trying to spend as much time as I could with him before he went away. To make a long story short, I pretty much blew off working or working out, especially after he had to leave the terrible living situation he was living in & I let him stay with me. Anyway, that's why I... Sun, 10 Jun 2012 19:18:25 EST April Showers I mean that both literally & figuratively! We're expecting severe thunderstorms here in central MO tonight and tomorrow, I think. Of course, MO weather being what it is, that is subject to change any minute <em>246</em> <BR> Anyway, I will spare the details, but I had a crazy night out with an old friend I hadn't seen in three years and somehow twisted my ankle worse than I ever had before. It was slightly swollen, but now its just bruised and sore...Phooey! I suppose I stepped in a hol... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 16:09:38 EST SP Spring Cleanup I'm so thrilled its Spring! I always feel a sense of renewal this time of year, along with the rest of nature. Seeing the trees and flowers blooming and hearing the birds singing outside makes me feel like I can do anything! April is approaching surprisingly fast, so its been nearly a whole quarter of the year already. I want to say that I haven't made as much progress as I had hoped, but I know that my expectations were really just unrealistic. I'm actually doing very well; even my brot... Wed, 28 Mar 2012 19:12:01 EST Oatmeal, Spaghetti & Meatballs: 3 recipes from SP Cookbook <em>4</em> <BR> I finally made some more recipes from my SP Cookbook & they were awesome!! <BR> I decided, finally, on a basic menu to make my planning more efficient. Up to this point, I had just spun my wheels trying to come up with meal options without eating the same thing every day. If I do that, I won't stick to the plan...unless it's pizza! <em>480</em> I could eat pizza every day; I actually did when I worked at Pizza Hut for over a year. That's not really very healthy, I know, ... Sun, 25 Mar 2012 00:20:01 EST I did Tai Chi! I've been wanting to try this exercise since I first heard of it in 1996. I am, admittedly, a master procrastinator. It's taken me this long to do it! You know what? It really does live up to it's reputation. I'm uncoordinated, okay, and I pretty much have a hard time following along to fitness videos. Thus far, Coach Nicole's videos are the only ones I can keep up with. I finally decided to see if my local library had any sort of Tai Chi video. It was waiting for me on the shelf-the ... Fri, 9 Mar 2012 18:17:34 EST In memoriam <em>211</em> <BR> Don't worry, it's not what you think! I've destroyed another pedometer. I go through these things in a matter of months. Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe because it stays attached to me all day, and I have a tendency to (accidentally) hurt myself at least once a day. I guess that would make all my poor pedometers hapless bystanders? If I don't lose them, I break them. My poor pedometer, you really do mean so much to me. That's why I carry you with me alway... Fri, 2 Mar 2012 12:21:50 EST Leaping into March! February was flop for my fitness & weight-loss goals. I don't really remember what threw me off, but I don't really care. I stumbled. I fell off the bicycle. I like to think of it as a bicycle instead of the wagon because the wagon keeps going without you! Anyway, I didn't exercise very much or sleep regularly. I alternated between sleeping way too late and feeling like I lost the whole day or not being able to sleep at all so I didn't have the energy to workout. I'm not proud, but I h... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 16:59:29 EST Spin it DJ! I'm reflecting on the last week and putting my spin on it. I've been slacking off on exercising and a regular schedule. I guess I decided to take a staycation for a week or so. I slept a lot, except for last night. I still haven't gotten all my dirty dishes clean and have pretty much been watching a lot of TV (courtesy of my DVR.) I'm not very far on working for myself, but I did figure a budget. Now I know how much I need to make a month, and I'm going to have to get a part time job. ... Thu, 9 Feb 2012 12:47:53 EST January 2012: Best month so far! Having completed my final weigh-in for January, I decided this was a great time to evaluate my progress for January. Initially, I want to be disappointed. I mean, I didn't reach my goal weight of 255.2 pounds. I missed a week of exercise (due to that terrible cough) and the past few days I spent recovering from the mole removal. I went over my calorie range almost half of the month. Almost doesn't count!! I suppose this natural need to put down my efforts is a remnant of my fading depre... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:44:04 EST Always look on the bright side of life! Thank you, Monty Python! (I hope somebody knows what I'm talking about.) I'm trying not to be bummed by the way things have gone since my procedure Thursday. I was okay until the local anesthetic dissipated. Now, I'm supposed to be taking acetaminophen for the pain, which has always been a hit or miss for me as far as pain relief. Well, it's no different now. Sometimes it works. However, it's not enough for me to be able to sleep very well. <em>39</em> <BR> I haven't been able to slee... Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:31:10 EST No exercise for two days? Shoot! I had two funky moles removed at the dermotolgist's office today. I was freaking out because they could be cancerous, but she put my mind at ease. She said over 95% of the samples she's sent for testing have come back benign. She thinks mine are just atypical and not a problem. Whew! However, because she removed some of my skin, I've got stitches. I look like Frankenstein! <em>246</em> <BR> So, I'm not supposed to do anything physical for two days, only "quiet activites." Phooey! I w... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:46:20 EST Up late with jitters I'm blogging instead of eating, so that's progress. I have an appointment at 9:45 am with a dermatologist to remove some suspicious moles; I'm more worried about it than I thought. It probably didn't help that I found out some troubling news from my mom tonight. <em>24</em> <BR> Her youngest brother, whose only forty-two, was diagnosed with cancer in March of 2011. He had colon cancer that had not exhibited any symptoms, then matastisized to his brain. That's when he began having symptom... Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:39:05 EST Phosphorylase B Kinase Deficiency How's that for a mouthful?! That's something you may not know about me; I don't really talk about it. It's a basically benign disease that is autosomal recessive. Well, I'm paraphrasing the doctor. What that really means is this is a recessive disease I was born with and it isn't hazardous to my health. Basically, the only problem I have is pain. I can overexert myself in record time compared to other people. My muscles just crap out before a typical person without this disease, and I ... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:09:33 EST On my way! It's been a while since I wrote a blog, and I've quite a few things on my mind. First of all, I'm so excited!! I did it, I did it, I did it!! I made it below 260 pounds. It's so great! Even though I've been sick this past week, I stayed within my calorie range and stayed hydrated. Let me tell you, I thought I was going to die because I couldn't breathe! I had visited my friends last week Saturday, but they failed to mention that they were sick! I'm a big believer in prevention, so, of... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 17:54:50 EST Discouraged yet Determined: A Jingle off the Jiggle Challenge blog This week started off great, until I saw my doctor on Tuesday for a preventative exam. <em>24</em> <BR> I sent for a thirty minute walk Sunday, and cardio kickboxing Monday. It was fun, but I hurt myself! My ex is FINALLY moving out-and out of state! I want to be excited and happy, but it's also his final exit from my life. It has really cemented the break-up for me. So, his stuff is all stacked in the living room for the big move on Sunday. I was too close to a speaker and punched i... Sat, 26 Nov 2011 18:16:32 EST Jingle Off the Jiggle Challenge 3-D'oh! I'm going through some big changes right now and staying on track! My ex is moving out (finally!) and there are boxes stacked everywhere. I can't really put everything back in order until all his things are gone, so I've been working on my cleaning plan. Second, I've been struggling with staying in my calorie range. My new employer provides a free lunch, however the meal totals nearly 1000 calories every day. I just found this out, since the nutritional information is not readily availab... Sun, 20 Nov 2011 17:52:14 EST Jingle off the Jiggle Challenge Blog 2 This past week went fairly well. I didn't get as much sleep as I want, so I think that's the reason I overate this week. I'm going to do better and get more fruits & veggies. I'm enjoying walking again, without the pressure of 5K training. I'm still a little down about that, but I hope to figure out my blister problem by Spring, then I can try for another 5K challenge. I've also felt extra motivated by my two pound loss; I signed up for the 10 minute daily exercise streak challenge. My ... Sun, 13 Nov 2011 21:44:05 EST Review of Week 1 Jingle of the Jiggle Challenge This week has been fair for my achieving my goals. I have done very well with eating 6 servings of fruits and veggies day <em>248</em> I'm proud of this, as well as my water intake. I increased my goal by seven cups, so it's taken some effort. Now, I'm accustomed to it. <BR> I'm still bummed about dropping out of the Trick or Trot 5K, but I was trying to make the best choice. The blisters I developed that popped while on my training walks hurt too bad for me to wear sneakers for a week... Sun, 6 Nov 2011 00:54:17 EST Reborn & remotivated! Wow! I can't believe it's been over a month since my last blog! So much is going on with my life right now, and most of it's good. I finally, finally, finally got a job <em>244</em> It's full-time with excellent benefits plus perks. The pay is not what I was making before, but I'm sure I'll be able to get a promotion in several months. I've had to adjust my workout schedule to doing the more intense work on the weekends, but that is just peachy. You know what? I'm DOING IT! I signe... Sat, 15 Oct 2011 15:41:52 EST The Silent Fizzle Hi! For any of you that have been following my blogs, <em>304</em> I have a hard time sharing my feelings, even with people to whom I feel very close. I just like to keep them all inside. After much deliberation, I think it has very much to do with when I was 11 and told my mom that I was depressed. I had called 1-800-Charter (anyone remember those commercials?) and told them, but they said, because of my age, I needed to tell an adult. My mom, in full compassionate motherly mode-ins... Sat, 10 Sep 2011 01:54:05 EST My trouble goal: putting off exercise Wow! I can't believe I'm already in Stage 3 of the SparkDiet! <em>244</em> As part of my action steps this week, I've been reflecting on what I have the most trouble with yet. Upon review of yesterday, I feel disappointed that I missed my scheduled cardio and ST. I had an interview at 11:30. I have been trying, but not very hard, to get on a regular sleep schedule. I am having difficulty, I think, because I don't have a work schedule to which I can adhere. So, yesterday, I didn't sle... Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:10:58 EST Accepting my Fat Okay, I know this title sounds contradictory for this site. However, I'm tired of feeling like I have a weight "problem." Ever since I gained this weight, I've been feeling like a lazy elephant. I used to be skinny, and I kept reminding myself of this every day. After my break with my bf, though, I've been feeling pretty low about myself. Then, I read a blog on DailySpark (of which I can't remember the title) about one woman's journey to start loving herself. I was inspired to do so, to... Sun, 28 Aug 2011 20:00:06 EST Kicking out the bf Last night, I took action that I know I've needed to for a long time. For the past two and a half years, I've been with a guy who I shouldn't have been. I don't mean that he was a "bad boy" (I do like the type, though.) I mean, he isn't the guy for me, and I had been telling myself I was being unreasonable. That sounds dumb now that I type it. I had hooked up with him one drunken night in 2007. He ended up saving me from slamming my temple into the corner of a toilet tank, which may hav... Sun, 21 Aug 2011 19:16:29 EST Hot for Halloween 100 day challenge-day 24 I intended to blog every day, but time seems to have slipped through my fingers the past few days. I managed to do 15 minutes of step aerobics Friday, but I fizzled out after that. I keep sleeping way too late and then deciding that I don't have enough time to do anything. I'm putting a stop to that, though! I'm not sleeping past 10 tomorrow; I should be able to do what I need to do! I felt like I never had enough time when I was working full time, so now that I'm unemployed, I should ha... Mon, 15 Aug 2011 00:40:51 EST Hot for Halloween 100 day challenge-day 21 I slept really late today, but I'd like to think its because I needed it. Plus, if I'm sleeping, I'm not eating, so that helps. The scale was at 261.6# this morning, so I suppose I didn't retain too much water from my excessive sodium intake yesterday. I'm happy about this, because this means that I'm three weeks into the contest and down 8.2# That's ahead of my 6# loss I should be at this point! <em>244</em> I want to work on getting some more pictures of me on here, so I can see my ... Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:58:26 EST Hot for Halloween 100 day challenge-day 20 Huzzah! I weighed myself this morning and am at 261.4#! <em>9</em> I'm getting so close to where I dipped briefly when I became active on this site again! I reached 258 and some tenths of a pound about a month ago, but I didn't stay long. I have a bad habit of seeing my success on the scale and thinking I can eat whatever I want, but I've been breaking this with the Hot for Halloween challenge. If I lose another pound, I get my first reward of a nice bouquet of flowers! I'm so close,... Thu, 11 Aug 2011 02:26:20 EST Hot for Halloween 100 day challenge-day 19 reflection At this time, it is technically day 20, but this is the end of my day 19. For anyone who isn't a member of For the Love of Horror, this team started a 100 day Hot for Halloween challenge. My goal is to reach 241.8# by Halloween, my favorite holiday. <em>431</em> This is 28# less than I weighed at the start of the challenge. I figured I can lose 2# a week if I actually did 30 minutes of cardio five days a week, plus two days of strength training. That's two of my five points of my pla... Wed, 10 Aug 2011 01:41:39 EST Demotivated Already? I haven't really felt like sharing on here lately, because I feel like a failure. The past two or three weeks I've felt so defeated. Its been hot, so I don't go out for walks as much, which probably has caused my downward spiral into almost giving up on my healthy lifestyle. I've been unemployed for nearly ten months, which is the longest I've ever been without a job. Not only that, but I went from making the most money I ever had to no money whatsoever. I was receiving unemployment, but... Wed, 20 Jul 2011 23:38:41 EST Short note to my Compulsive Overeater team I cannot even imagine if anyone was as bad at overeating as I was. I really don't want to sound like a preacher; I want everyone to know how bad I was, and how much better you can be. <BR> I was very active for a while, but I have been binge eating since I was 12 and am now 26, soon to be 27 on July 2nd, 2011. I had a habit of rewarding myself with having such a great job by coming home and drinking until I was wasted an hour or so later. Then, I would order at least 1 large pizza, 20 o... Sat, 11 Jun 2011 08:54:15 EST I love SparkPeople! <em>252</em> This place is amazing! I have received so much motivation that I can't believe that it took me so long to put this incredible resource to work for me. <em>198</em> <BR> The teams, my blogs, message board posts, everything else I didn't mention, all of it really helps me in a way I can't even express. Every bit of advice that I can give to others on this website helps me to be more motivated. The more I help other people on this website, the more I am motivated to stick ... Sat, 11 Jun 2011 03:30:29 EST Its been a few days... What an interesting past few days! I'm making progress and feel really great about that! I'm not trying to lose the weight fast, even though it does feel like I gained it fast. I put much more thought into what and when I eat, which I think has been playing a big part of my success, so far. My weight fluctuates from day to day, even though I make sure I weigh at the same time every day. Of course, that is probably because I am a woman and more prone to water retention on certain days of ... Thu, 9 Jun 2011 22:42:15 EST Frustration Already! Somehow, I gained a pound between yesterday and today. I didn't really stick to my diet, but I know it shouldn't just show up right away like that. From what I've read on this website, I guess it must be water retention. Grr! <BR> I turned off my meal plans on the nutrition tracker because it was taking entirely too long to prepare those meals, plus the calorie balance was way off. I mean, is it really healthy to eat double the calories you ate for breakfast for lunch?! I think its bette... Sun, 5 Jun 2011 19:10:36 EST Starting Stage Two of SparkDiet Here I go! This week is about the tools I need for a healthier lifestyle. I've tried to lose weight plenty of times over the past four years or so, but I always slip up. <em>198</em> <BR> I can limit myself for a little bit, but then I would decide my few days of good behvior was a reason to "pig out," as I call it. While I don't always eat unhealthy foods during these times, I eat too much of all foods. I am determined this time to live healthier, not just tame my habits temporarily.... Fri, 3 Jun 2011 17:44:25 EST