CRABBYLIONESS's SparkPeople Blog CRABBYLIONESS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Ten Months Later.... I'm back. I'm through the nervous breakdown that led me to deal with my past as an abused adoptee. <BR> <BR> I'm though searching. I've found my biological families, to their mutual surprise. It's awkward, but nobody has been outright horrible and SOME people are genuinely glad to meet me. <BR> <BR> I'm through the SECOND nervous breakdown, the one that follows a reunion, when the WORST of the pain shows up. <BR> <BR> Adoption is a terrible thing. It was sorta excusable in the old days... Tue, 2 Dec 2014 21:29:44 EST Adoption Trauma Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've been having a nervous breakdown. The increased health caused by all my exercising set off my PTSD, which served up a dish of repressed childhood traumas. I found a good therapist (those are remarkably hard to find) who tracked it down to the fact that in addition to being an abuse survivor, I'm also an ADOPTED abuse survivor. <BR> <BR> Yeah, I was adopted by child abusers. Or more precisely I was adopted by people hoping the infant me would magical... Mon, 17 Feb 2014 15:53:48 EST Health Update August 15, 2013 "Hey, you've got a bone back here," my husband said, poking at my back. <BR> <BR> "Ye-ah." <BR> <BR> "It was more padded until recently." <BR> <BR> "I'm glad you said that. You know that 10 pounds I lost so quickly? I've gained all of that back, and another ten pounds. And I've added an inch to all my measurements." <BR> <BR> "You've clearly lost fat in the front and the back, and you stamina is way up, so I'd say you're putting on muscle." <BR> <BR> "Yeah, but it's a bit of a bummer ... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 21:16:40 EST Power Women Update I created a Pinterest board celebrating active plus-sized women hoping I could find (with luck!) 50 pictures. Instead I've found over 360. Wow! <BR> <BR> <BR> -women-plus-size-fitness-role-models/ Thu, 20 Jun 2013 17:44:11 EST Slow Had a traumatic cognitive breakthrough-type thing last month. Useful in the long run, stressful in the short. Completely physically and emotionally exhausted right now. Trying to write about it. That'll be a long post. Have a series of short posts to get out of the way first, to clear the decks. Hopefully before I start posting those I'll have regained the ability to type complete sentences. Sat, 15 Jun 2013 14:32:49 EST Pretty Frazzled Right Now Not bad but harried. Will post more when circumstances (and I) calm down. Mon, 10 Jun 2013 11:06:33 EST Plus Size Fitness Role Models I decided I needed more inspiration and created a Pinterest board of photos of plus size athletes, dancers, and fitness instructors. Y'all are welcome to come and visit. There's no clothing ads, fashion models, or pinup photos. Goodness knows you can find plenty of those in other places. These are fit plus size women with names and stories. <BR> <BR><BR>-women-plus-size-fitness-role-models/ <BR> <BR> Feel free to suggest women I should add. <BR> ... Fri, 10 May 2013 00:22:42 EST Benchmarks Yesterday I got my Gold Piggy Bank (logged in 40 hours) on Wii Fit Plus. Today my BMI dropped below 40. Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:49:15 EST April Weigh-In Yesterday a woman I hadn't seen since Autumn mentioned I'd lost weight. It's a good thing she did too, because today I found out I'd gained back almost all of the eight pounds I'd lost since Christmas. All well, now that I'm not nursing myself or others I can turn my attention back to such matters. Sun, 7 Apr 2013 21:22:40 EST Eating Disorders Actually Most Common in Midlife<BR>eating-disorders-actually-most-common-<BR>in-midlife#.UWGKNWHKOwU Sun, 7 Apr 2013 11:19:56 EST Coming Up For Air The whole family is down with the flu, with the baby and I getting the worst of it. I haven't been much concerned about my weight under the circumstances, since standing for more than 10 minutes tires me out. Hopefully in a few days I'll feel up to a bit of yoga, then strength training, then cardio when the coughing finally stops and I can breathe again. <BR> <BR> More in a week or so. Mon, 25 Mar 2013 15:12:14 EST February Weigh-In I knew it couldn't last. The first month I tracked I lost 6.7 pounds. The second month I tracked, while eating the same amount and increasing my exercise, I lost 1.1 pound. <BR> <BR> That's over a 30 day period. My low point was actually 1.1 pound lighter than that a couple of days ago, but let's go with the other figure for now. <BR> <BR> I measured my waist and hips, but the difference between this month and my first measurement last month is too small to leave the margin of error. <BR... Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:37:18 EST Fine-Tuning Huh. We always hear that in order to diet you have to eat "special diet food". I'm eating old-fashioned American food (including desert) and the tracker keeps telling me I'm not eating enough. Something weird going on here. <BR> <BR> Well, Tuesday is Weigh-In Day. (Technically I weigh myself every day but because I'm pre-menopausal I only count it once a month. I'm not going to obsess of the vagaries of menstrual-induced weight fluctuation.) After that I'll add more protein to my diet ... Sat, 23 Feb 2013 20:24:15 EST Childhood Calorie Intake Falls, Protein Intake Rises Nice to see some positive changes. <link><BR>21/studies-us-childhood-obesity-calories </link> Thu, 21 Feb 2013 22:28:19 EST Guardian Op-Ed: There's no need for this obesity epidemic hysteria A bit basic, but there's still some people who never heard about size-positive exercise programs -- or who stop up their ears when it's mentioned.<BR>13/feb/18/obesity-epidemic-hysteria Thu, 21 Feb 2013 12:40:11 EST It's Data Entry Girl! I spent today entering over two months worth of exercise information into the tracker. Now it's fussing at me, telling me I exercise too much and eat too little. This diagnosis would be funny if I didn't need to lose 50 pounds. <BR> <BR> I'm only averaging 70 minutes of daily exercise. It's not stressing me, fatiguing me (aside from the knee) or leaving me hungry. I'm alternating cardio with strength training so my muscles have time to recover. I think I've got a handle on it, and I prom... Wed, 20 Feb 2013 23:22:08 EST Fitness Update February, 2013 My weak knee is the hard limit on my exercising right now; I can only add on as much as it will put up with. I'm trying to keep it at the level where it grumbles in the afternoon but not when I go to bed. I'm doing strength training three days a week, cardio four days a week, and yoga daily for the cool-down. <BR> <BR> After seven weeks with Wii Fit Plus I've almost maxed out parts of it while barely scratching other parts. WFP is divided into four parts: yoga, strength, cardio ("aerobic... Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:31:00 EST Catching Up: Health Update Part 2 -- The Jock Stuff I'm moving over the rest of my older health posts today. I'll post something current tomorrow. <BR> <BR> <BR> March 27th, 2012: Health Update Part 2 -- The Jock Stuff <BR> <BR> The first time I tried an individualized morning exercise program was in college 25 years ago. In order to help me get up and get to the gym, I turned on Mississippi Public Radio and promptly discovered Morning Edition. That scuttled the exercising, but I've been a fan of the show ever since. These days I keep ... Mon, 18 Feb 2013 14:32:05 EST First Official British Plus-Size Fashion Weekend While it's sad that it's taken so long to happen, it's good that they've started. Article here. <link><BR>n-fashion-week-celebrates-plus-sized-m<BR>odels/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_mediu<BR>m=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheRawStor<BR>y+%28The+Raw+Story%29&utm_content=My+Yahoo </link> Sun, 17 Feb 2013 13:19:39 EST Settling in: Health Update Part 1 -- The Geek Stuff I'm trying to figure my way around the various trackers, not to mention the website in general. It seems there are explanatory videos, but when I try to play them nothing pulls up. <BR> <BR> Here's a repost of a health update that I put up 11 months ago talking about my references for my exercise plan. <BR> <BR> <BR> Health Update Part 1 -- The Geek Stuff <BR> <BR> <BR> The good news is that my knee joint is fine. It's the ligaments that are damaged, apparently from picking up a scream... Sat, 16 Feb 2013 13:59:02 EST Introduction: Past vs. Present Hello! I'm 47, female, and possess a pear-shaped body and an attitude. Nice to meet you. <BR> <BR> I've just been recommended to this site, but I've been blogging about my health and related issues for a while now. I'm going to repost <link><BR>01/past-vs-present.html </link> something I wrote on my other blog 13 months ago. It's a bit dated: the issue with my knee turned out to be bruised tendons and not a weak joint, and the Wii is hooked up now. ... Sat, 16 Feb 2013 01:39:31 EST