CORALYNNTANEL's SparkPeople Blog CORALYNNTANEL's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community BROKEN PELVIS,SOLID FAITH... A little over 4 months ago I was run over by a drunk driver in a van while on my bicycle. To make matters worse, it was a hit and run. A kind man who witnessed the whole mess chased her down and called the cops while I lay broken in 4 places in the street. I was on my bicycle and got knocked off and then run over by two tires, the first over my face, chest, and arms, the second crushing my pelvis like a walnut. I was then dragged through the street to the middle of the road. I was awake for 9... Wed, 15 Jun 2011 21:18:05 EST empty stomach, empty heart.... So, I officially broke up with my long distance boyfriend. There had been some on and off moments and I thought we were going to try and make it work when he moves out here this winter. All of those dreams are long gone. He wrote me out of his life around 3 in the morning. We had many things we didn't see eye to eye on and i'm completely crushed. I knew the relationship was on the verge of spoiling quite quickly and not wanting it to sour I was backing off. I never wanted to be where I am at... Sat, 23 Oct 2010 10:32:06 EST donde esta my motivation? maybe it's in these running shoes... So it's 9:23 am on tuesday....I am slow to start. yesterday was my best friends b-day and I took her out, had a big dinner ( chicken tawook with rice,hummus,fatoush, pita,...) 2 glasses of wine, a soda, and a big piece of cake. I knew I was going to do that, i'm not upset about it, it was her birthday and spending the time with her enjoying those things was nice but now I am mentally ready for a physical challenge....just got to get ready physically. <BR> There is a hill several blocks down ... Tue, 19 Oct 2010 12:34:27 EST breaking up sucks So I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. Neither of us wanted to, but it's a long distance relationship and every conversation was becoming an argument. Now I realize I have put him in front of everything. Family,friends,career,health,happiness....<BR>and I feel really stupid. Just within the last 2 weeks i've decided to regain control of myself and right now i'm desperately trying not to lose it. <BR> <BR> I just feel lost and so low, eyes sting from crying all week. time to dig deep for ... Tue, 12 Oct 2010 12:09:07 EST worth the weight I am battling this emotional eating demon and it's not even half as hard as I used to feel it was. I made the choice to acknowledge my problem, that I have something bigger than my waist inside my soul that I have let control everything in my life. Life has been about food for so long, all I thought about was how to get my fix, now I all I can think about about is getting my fix of the right things to help fix me. The weight has been lifted and although it's still on my body, that in due time... Sun, 25 Apr 2010 12:40:47 EST I put everything emotional on the table and am no longer hungry. I am crying right now. Today has been a giant punch in the life. I am an emotional eater, I eat my feelings, in copious and unholy amounts. <BR> So the past few months I have been on and off birth control, recently off again, and my weight, mood, energy level, sleep cycle, and binging has been all over the place. I've been in this pattern of setting reasonable goals for myself and the second I don't hit my target dead on I use that as an excuse to throw it all away and throw it away I do. Tr... Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:58:09 EST thought for food... So basically it's like this, day 2, trying to stay focused and busy so I don't carry on the unofficial eating contest. I had an idea as I was walking back from the grocery store with my papayas, sprouts, strawberries, spinach,etc....I am always reading self help books, why don't I spend my time making one. I will write it to myself with the intentions that in doing so, I can be my own therapist, motivator, and commit to doing something that may not only help me but someone else. This is exci... Mon, 19 Apr 2010 20:17:26 EST recycling my waist... Today is the first day I chose to be accountable for all that goes into my gullet. I watched a youtube clip of a show called supersize meets superskinny and they had a segment where they have a big plastic tube and in the tube they show all the food that the people ate for the day, that idea has stuck with me. It is pretty offensive to see the combo of all the foods and fats in the tube but it was just what I needed to think twice on what I put in my body. I have lied, snuck,hid food for many... Thu, 31 Dec 2009 01:32:58 EST no room in the emotional baggage for an eatin' dress... I am back! Was on sparkpeople for a solid several months last summer and goodness how proud I was! I am going to transform myself back to the woman who held her head high, and not to avoid a double chin in photos, the woman who was excited to put on running shoes, jeans, dresses...not the one who can't wait to be in baggy sweats and hide her belly, I want to get back to the woman who was feeling so good mentally and emotionally the weightloss was the 2nd place prize! I will! It is time, I've ... Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:09:52 EST Blood oranges, sweat, and tears... In between trying to condition my body and become healthy I find that life happens. I will do my best one day and eat all the right foods in the correct portion sizes, workout like a beast, then make it to work and I cave. Something gives out and I have to eat and even if I have my own food that is appropriate for me to eat with me (I work in a restaurant that serves lousy, bad for you food) I still manage to feel the need to not feel "left Out" when everyone else gets to eat the junk. I thin... Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:32:15 EST Sometimes I listen to keith sweat, because I want to like Well, here I am again. I have been up and down with my weight and currently I know it has some to do with eating habits, being sick and unable to do cardio, and a lot to do with starting birth control. I feel like I am ballooning up worse than a clown convention and that my frame is starting to resemble the emancipation of a large water beast we will refer to as "willy". My attitude has never been better though. I've had some rough times over the months that I wasn't using my sparkpage and h... Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:47:03 EST Dr. Sorders says......... So I am reporting live from my bed, sick as a dog, got the inability to breathe clearly and the exhaustion. I really want to get up and work out but I know sometimes it is important to take it easy. Can't wait to get back into it, looking good, feeling well, and living fine!!! Sun, 30 Nov 2008 23:42:42 EST Bell Biv Devoted to being better!!!!!!! So it has been a few months since I have been on the website actively charting my progress,lack of progress, or thoughts on it all. Been dealing with a vicious case of depres-sean john puffy combs and the bad feelings boy family. Coming out and although it is a soggy mess outside right now, if there was sunshine i'd be able to see it! I don't think my weight has fluctuated too much but I don't feel as well as I did over the summer. Planning on meeting my goal before the end of the year thoug... Thu, 6 Nov 2008 21:19:26 EST The not-so-little Coralynn that could, would, and will-a short story about a long battle with weight Once I heard someone say that our bodies are like trains and we need to fuel them so they can operate well. It makes sense because lord knows I have a massive caboose, I chew chew chew a lot, and when I'm cruising on my path (career, fitness, diet) I go full speed and it takes a big force to stop me. The only problem is that when I stop i also de-rail. Currently this train is starting in alASSka,traveling through to get a monTANa, and finishing in Delawear a smaller size of everything..When... Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:31:00 EST FORD RE-FOCUSED-will power built ford tough.... So I been so wicked depressed and eating my feelings, feel like I look heavier, waist measurement is the same, going to kick it up a notch today. My diet has been all over the place, my mood has been difficult, the sun is shining and I am taking charge of this and going to do right today. I have been slipping up and I have a bad habit where I fall into this hideous self loathing cycle of negative thoughts and I am the only one who can pull myself out of it. SO....what did I learn? When I am ... Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:23:44 EST SUCCESS IS A NUMBER, & IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SCALE... I CAN'T POSSIBLY FIND THE WORDS TO SAY HOW THRILLED I AM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! Got home from work early on a friday, went to the gym, lifting some weights, then decided to run the treadmill....i ran the mile in 5:57!!!!!!!!!!! I beat my all time best time ever of 5:59 in 7th grade!!!!!!!! I hit the 1.5 mile mark at 8:47 and 2 miles at 10:40!!!!!!!!!!!! I am thrilled!!!!!!!!!!!! Making myself a delicious, nutritious, rewarding dinner! Sat, 2 Aug 2008 01:25:27 EST Do you have some gum, I'm all out of accomplish-MINTS So I said I was going to stop drinking yesterday and I didn't and yet again I woke up today disappointed in myself, feeling fat, lousy, and unmotivated. I am putting a giant foot down right now! EVERYDAY COUNTS!!!!!!! THIS IS ME SAYING TO MYSELF YOU ARE WORTH IT,KNOCK IT OFF AND LOVE YOURSELF!!!!!!!! I know I have it in me, food is fabulous but I am better than fine wines and cheeses and it's not like I can never have them again, I want to look like the athlete I am, and I WILL! Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:35:26 EST Back on the wagon, hit me with an oregon trail ale (water) So I was sober for 5 weeks and then I caved and over the last two weeks I have drank 6 nights, the drinking isn't the issue, it's the diet, i'm too lenient when I drink. So one more month solid on the wagon will be good for me. I need to get my priorities in line. Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:56:00 EST Happy cows come from california, fat cows come from self-abuse, don't eat your feelings... So today is another day moving forward and making progress. I'm in week six and because I feel like I've dropped some pounds and people have started to notice that I'm being more lenient on what and how much I am eating. That needs to change or I will put that weight right back on. It's hard because I have so many friends who want to "go out for drinks" or "have dinner" and when I hear them say that it translates in my brain to "ruin my life" "sabotage my hard work". I have always had this ve... Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:09:25 EST The only big rack i'll purchase... the one to go on top of my car for my windsurfing boards! Seriously, so today is week 6, I have not lost anymore weight but I am maintaining the work that I have done so far. Have not been sleeping well and currently having a vicious stomach ache, I might actually be a lactard, lactose intolerant individual. I've made an active choice to stop complaining about the retirement of my C-cup bra's, now I am a B cup, and my waist is smaller, and I look better so enough with the self hate" I... Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:55:46 EST i'm wearing my guil t-shirt So I broke my sobriety of 5 weeks for a pint of guinness and a vodka soda. I can't change that but I am not going to go overboard now that I am occasionally (being the key word) going to allow alcohol in my life. Going on another date with that boy tonight, going to have a drink. I feel like I look like a dump and with my new found tiny rack that I look unattractive. I wish I could be happy with something!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with me?? Mon, 21 Jul 2008 22:33:49 EST week 5 So today is five weeks going strong, my friend Nick took me out for dinner and I totally outdid myself. I ate the bread before the meal, then had the ahi tuna with garlic roasted potatoes and ordered steamed brocolli and asparagus on the side so I wouldn't eat too much of the bad stuff, but I ate a lot and ordered fruit berries for dessert, I don't know what to enter for what I ate today or if I will, one meal isn't going to make me gain a pound but it's amazing how much I feel bad about it. ... Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:30:58 EST that's right put in work, eat your salad, no dessert......... Tomorrow will be five weeks solid on the dealing with my big ass program. I have been doing well, I have hit this bump in the road where I am dealing with some very sad news and all I want to do is eat,but i'm not going to because it ultimately won't fix the problem or make me feel better. For as long as I can remember I have insulated myself with a layer of fat to cope with issues. I can't control any of it, so I eat. I feel better knowing that I may not be Alyssa Milano but i'm the boss an... Wed, 16 Jul 2008 01:20:27 EST eating your feelings.......... Ok, so here is the story, I went on a short vacation with my Uncle to Hood river Oregon to go windsurfing. 1 hour boat ride, 4 hour drive, and we are there, I stocked up on grapes, cherries, hummus & pretzels,carrots, and a banana before the trip. On the drive down my uncle had, a hostess cupcake, a bag of corn nuts, and a bottle of chocolate milk (I peeked at the calorie content, 2 servings was 400 calories, jeez) and I drank my water and ate my goodies, I was proud and happy with my choices... Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:07:25 EST NO HUCKLEBERRY MILKSHAKES I'm going to oregon to go windsurfing and I'm going with my uncle. Let me explain something to you, he is from Iowa, he eats wonder bread, cheese by the block with a bottle of chardonnay, he also likes really good food and always wants to share that with me. He has a belly but otherwise is in shape, I don't want to sabotage my hard work for a dumb ass milkshake that is to die for If I learn this move which I'd be REALLY surprised if I got it down in 1 day, I can have th... Sat, 12 Jul 2008 10:05:52 EST I must have put on my productivi-t-shirt today... So I haven't been sleeping very well, and when I wake up it's about as pleasant as a roundhouse kick to the face. This morning I was supposed to leave at the butt crack of dawn to go drive 4 hours to Oregon to windsurf with my uncle, but same as yesterday, the wind forecast sucks. I love my uncle so freaking much but he is what i like to call an "enabler" but I think because of my ability to make it a month already, I should be able to resist the urge to be out of control. I am so desperate t... Fri, 11 Jul 2008 15:44:00 EST 1 month-15 down, 10 to go So it has been one month and one day since I have started the fatty challenge. I have lost 15 pounds, 2 inches on my waist, and unfortunately a full cup size in my bra. Whatever, it's not like I have saggy boobs are weird nipples so I really shouldn't complain, I just don't feel as feminine. I think once I lose those other 2 inches from my waist it will all look even. My jeans are all loose and it's funny because I am used to binging every so often that one day my pants will fit and the next... Thu, 10 Jul 2008 19:57:48 EST Making the best of fit It's been a rough patch these last couple of days. I find it very difficult to go on dates with this guy when I want to watch what I'm eating but also not appear to be difficult. I've been feeling like dump about myself. My friend dev's birthday was the other day and I went and instead of feeling proud of being now 22 days sober and keeping a promise to myself which I have NEVER before in my life been able to do, I left early because I felt like carnie wilson! I am turning that down town juli... Tue, 1 Jul 2008 11:12:09 EST feeling pretty....low So basically I have hit a plateau, it's something I am letting bum me out more than it should, where what I need to be doing is switching up my routine. I feel like ugly betty, was just at a birthday party with at least 20 GOREGOUS woman who I went to high school with. It's not that I'm not proud of my ability to not drink and stay focused, but I realize I have put WAY too much emphasis on people commenting on how I look, I want to hear "have you lost weight? " so bad! I couldn't enjoy mysel... Sun, 29 Jun 2008 00:48:46 EST Operation Dumbo Drop So today is day 9! I have been to 3 bars, 2 restaurants, a bbq, and at work ( the worst nemesis of all for the weight gain) and I have not failed, even a little! I am so incredibly proud of myself it is unreal! I haven't had confidence or pride like this is so long. I love being accountable on this site! I can feel my waist shrinking and I know these results are going to be smoking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tue, 17 Jun 2008 11:05:42 EST The lyin, the bitch, and the fat girls wardrobe...things to avoid DAY 6-going strong! So far I have been out to dinner, to a night club with aggressive drinking buddies, and at a family bbq where I have not only stuck to my guidelines but walked away feeling like a winner, and not for completely out-eating the all you can eat buffet! I have not been this proud of myself in years! I am also going through a rough time with a man who is entire unaware of my feelings and not worth all the feeling like **** over him. I can't wait till 10 days from now, I KNOW I ... Sat, 14 Jun 2008 23:10:13 EST Butter and Delta Burke.... So basically it is like this, today is my third day without alcohol and due to my emotional eating issues i've decided to drop that luxury for a while because as much as I love drinking and the social aspect of it, an entire large pizza at 4am by yourself is never ok. That's what medium is for. Ha just kidding. So here is me at work "LAY OFF ME IM STARVING!!!!" Patience is a virtue and a gigantic pain in my enormous ass! ugh. butter.............counting calories is a bitch. Thu, 12 Jun 2008 02:13:24 EST Monique/coralynn's fat chance I am really excited about this site, it's like mysapce but better for me! I can't wait to see the results, accountability is everything! Mon, 9 Jun 2008 17:16:26 EST