COO_KIE's SparkPeople Blog COO_KIE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community yet again My best friend was buried yesterday. I had cataract surgery a week ago. I mention earlier about this being a hard year since 5 people have died this year, including my Mother, sister, and mother in law, as well as my friend of 61 years and an aunt. With funeral arrangements for my sister and Mother, and settling Mom's estate, Spark People became just one too many details to take care of. <BR> I am still 13 pounds less than when I joined, and 19 less than my highest weight. But, it is time to ... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 17:09:29 EST Big surprise for me today Even though I have regained much of the weight I lost, I have still attempted to eat healthy...just generally ate too much, too often. My mother in law, aunt, sister and my mother all died over the last 10 months, and my best friend was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer. My brother in law also developed serious heart issues. Call it a reason, or call it an excuse, but my weight/fitness got pushed into the background. <BR> This past Monday, I refocused, I tracked, and I 'upped' my exer... Sun, 2 Nov 2014 18:08:00 EST just a note I got a lot accomplished today. Emptied and refilled 1 1/2 closets. It took me most of the day, but I have to say that it looks pretty good. No one had better touch anything....including me. <BR> <BR> I haven't given up on Sparks, but I sure have stalled. Sat, 16 Aug 2014 21:09:18 EST One year later I am starting my second year at Spark People. I am 25 pounds less than I was on July 6, 2013, ....31 pounds lower than my highest weight. That is the good news. The bad news is that I weigh the same as I did on November 12, 2013. I seemed like I was stuck in a forever plateau, then the holidays, my mother in law's death, and my mother's illness just made me lose focus. It became easier to justify not measuring my portions, cutting back on my fitness minutes, and generally eating quick to prep... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 07:07:48 EST Non scale victory I got up today. No, I mean, I had to get down on the floor to move some boxes. I stood up from a sitting position on the floor without holding on to anything. I did it without thinking and wasn't actually sure I was remembering correctly, so I got down on the floor again for no reason other than to check if I could really do it. Yep, I did! It wasn't pretty. But, at 67 I am looking for function, not grace. Oh, yeah, being totally hot is OK too. Trust me, I have a long way to go before I quali... Sun, 4 May 2014 16:49:24 EST Tried a stress break. I took a break and went to a movie today. Wrong choice of movie as a woman in the movie was diagnosed with terminal cancer, as my best friend was. It did not get my mind off things, but certainly reminded me that I was not alone in this kind of stress. My cousin died today. he is no longer in pain, but of course his family is. I know in my head this is all a part of life, and it is truly not that most of it directly affects me. But, it does affect Mom, and that is what affects me. Her eye pa... Tue, 15 Apr 2014 19:36:48 EST again I just typed a blog entry and realized 2 weeks ago I typed nearly the same one. All of the issues have gotten a bit worse. Mom's right eye seems to be losing it's vision, she says. We just found out her nephew is expected to die within 2 days from cancer. Yes, a sister, a daughter, and a nephew in 3 weeks. Can stress cause vision changes? She has a carotid sonogram for tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Point is, I cannot help. My best friend has pancreatic cancer. They estimated 6 months. Six weeks have p... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 20:03:28 EST restart needed My mother in law died Dec 21. My sister and aunt both died March 18. My mother had a mini stroke March 24. It is my responsibility to notify the family when something like this happens, and I dealt with that this week, along with making the arrangements at the funeral home for my sister. Helping Mom navigate the loss of her baby sister and her daughter took all my energy, and then having her have the mini stroke just reinforced the reality that time here is limited. She is doing very well for... Sun, 30 Mar 2014 07:52:54 EST Rough day got worse This morning it was up to me to tell my 93 year old mother that her daughter (my younger sister) died suddenly. I did this first thing in the morning. Then, within 15 minutes, I picked up the phone to hear that my mother's favorite sister had also died last night. I also had to tell this to my mother. <BR> <BR> I ache so much for her that I can't begin to express it. Frankly, tracking is not an issue today, nor are my steps. But, I can not keep myself from reaching out to friends. I will try... Thu, 20 Mar 2014 20:00:00 EST I can't do it, I tried. I have tried to out eat the pain. I has not worked. <BR> <BR> I was told on Thursday that my best friend of 59 years has been told she has cancer in her liver and pancreas. How can this be? Her first oncology appointment is tomorrow. I of course pray for a misdiagnosis, but know it is unlikely. So, I pray that it is slow growing and able to be controlled. We have been there for each other during kid problems, husband problems, miscarriage and yes, a multitude of happy times that we got to ... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 17:53:17 EST In the blink of an eye I have a new awareness today. Last Friday my brother called to tell me he had amputated his index finger and half of his middle finger on his dominant hand. I was horrified, but admit I thought he should have been more careful. He was sawing a board when the blade kicked it back and he caught his hand between the blade and the board. He has been safely operating a saw for about 50 years. <BR> <BR> Today I had an errand to run about 30 miles from here. It was snowy, so I called my friend to p... Mon, 24 Feb 2014 20:07:35 EST slippery slope You know how when we start to get healthy that we institute changes a bit at a time? Been there, done that. I tracked. I stayed in my fat, carb and protein ranges. I tracked my fitness too. I joined challenges, faithfully checking in, recording progress. I drank my 8 cups of water, did my 5 freggies, and then some. Every step built on another. <BR> <BR> But, guess what. The reverse is also true. First, I started including my coffee in my 8 cups of water. I still lost a small amount of weight... Sun, 23 Feb 2014 17:41:49 EST new goal As I was checking my BMI this morning, I saw where if I reach my original goal of 150, I would still be overweight. Rather than leaving that as my ultimate goal, I decided to change it to 140, which is the top range of healthy weight for me. This really doesn't change much, other than keeping it real. I am not 22 pounds overweight as my first goal would indicate. I am 32 pounds overweight. I am still in the same daily calorie ranges. I will still set mini goals. I am still on track for a poun... Wed, 19 Feb 2014 06:36:59 EST genes? Why am I so confused? I often hear the doctor mention genes. I sort of know what they are. But, I have more questions than answers. <BR> <BR> Until I was 13, I was extremely underweight, then 'normal' until 20, then overweight. Was the whole progression gene related? Or, was any of it genetic? As a child, I did not care for candy, and often felt things were too sweet. As an adult, I crave sweets. My DNA does not change over my lifetime, does it? So, was the change behavioral? <BR> <BR> My mother came from a fa... Wed, 12 Feb 2014 09:41:31 EST Where have I been? Someone missed me. They noticed that I have not blogged this month, and even my status became extremely generic. What can I say? Truth be told, I guess I have just been going through the motions. My calories are within range, but my fat grams certainly aren't. I craved brownies, and when DH made a batch, I made some Gluten free ones, with healthy walnuts, and ate a couple, then froze the rest. Yeah, I found out I love frozen brownies. Must be a trigger. I threw the rest in the garbage. Then I... Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:08:45 EST Interesting Day As I mentioned, I reached 2511 fitness minutes during of yesterday. So, today was a day off for me. (I do not do a rest day each week...I am afraid I will forget to restart.) I also decided that I would eat more 'relaxed' than typical. <BR> <BR> My observations? First...I missed the fitness. I never felt totally 'awake.' I listen to upbeat music during my 30 minutes on the treadmill, and those songs seemed to be playing in my head all day. Yes, I play the same cd...I am Woman ... Fri, 31 Jan 2014 20:40:50 EST Goal met. I set a goal of 2500 minutes of workout fitness for the month of January. I did it! It was a combination of treadmill, elliptical, and stationary bike. About 30 minutes was aerobic/cardio each day. The other was bike activity while watching cooking on TV. (What is wrong with this picture?) <BR> <BR> Yesterday I also reached a goal of 40 pounds lost from my highest weight. 34 of that was after joining SP. <BR> <BR> New goals? Well, since February is a short month, I am not going to try for 2... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 21:15:28 EST Unique Day.....I hope DH asked last night what my plans were today. Trying to guess correctly, I said "Clean the kitchen, do the dishes and catch up on laundry, What about you?" <BR> <BR> He said, "Nothing, just a leisurely day." <BR> <BR> Yeah, God must be a woman, because we woke up and our well had frozen. (Seriously, first time in 45 was in the actual well casing, not the pipes to or in the house.) No water. That meant he had to spend his 'leisure' day trying to thaw it out, and I could not do d... Wed, 29 Jan 2014 20:45:00 EST The secret of a perfect marriage... Still remains a secret. <BR> <BR> I love my man to pieces. He is nearly gluten free by default. I have to avoid gluten. I cook. Therefore if he wants gluten he eats out, or has some of his personal stash. <BR> The best part of him (well, one of the best parts) is he is willing to try new things. Last week, we had Monterey Jack soup. OK, but not fantastic. I froze 2 pints, and tore up the recipe. <BR> Today, I used that soup as a 'base' and added 2 large onions, caramelized, leftover carro... Sat, 25 Jan 2014 21:43:30 EST "I dream of a better world....." "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned." No, I didn't say it first, and do not know who did, or I would credit them. If anyone knows, I will edit this and add the info. <BR> <BR> That said, I dream of a world where my body craves vegetables, not fats. And a world where I actually prefer to warm up by doing an hour exercising, instead of doing time under the electric blanket. I dream of a world where I can sense what my body needs ... Fri, 24 Jan 2014 20:40:53 EST Success is not final... "Success is not final, failure is not fatal; <BR> It is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill <BR> <BR> I can be frugal. There! I said it! I am notorious for saving a bit of this and a dab of that to turn into something else. A few months ago I made buckeyes for my grandsons....the most adorable nags on the universe. <em>30</em> <BR> <BR> After I was done, there was half a cup of chocolate coating. Dump it? Certainly not! Imagine all those people hungry out there. (Yes... Thu, 23 Jan 2014 16:51:00 EST Seeing ourselves as others see us... "Seeing ourselves as others see us wouldn't do any good. We wouldn't believe it" anon <BR> <BR> I will deeply think of this tonight. I do know when I see photographs of myself, I don't believe it, usually. I either think I look fatter, dumber, or any number of negatives thoughts about myself when I see the photo....or I think what a wonderful photographer it was who took the picture. Most photos I would prefer to discard. Yet, the reality is that though they have caught a millisecond in time... Wed, 22 Jan 2014 21:28:30 EST Pedicure tomorrow; comparisons Yes, something to look forward to. Mom and I will be venturing out in below zero weather to get our toenails painted, then stick them back into boots. We really must like getting fussed over. Hey, I even shaved my legs for this. (I like to think the person giving the pedicure did not, just so I can feel superior. LOL) Seriously, I am kidding. I never want to use someone else to inflate my worth. <BR> <BR> I have spent time with people who seemed to base everything on comparison. One woman ... Tue, 21 Jan 2014 22:27:13 EST I wish I were a glow worm.. I wish I were a glow worm, as a glow worm is never glum. "Cause how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?" <BR> <BR> OK. It isn't original. But, it made me smile to read it. I hope it did the same for you. There are days when nothing bad happens, only good. And even those days have neat little sparks that make you smile. Like when I got a call this morning from my daughter and her husband and their boys. They called to sing Happy Birthday, and my youngest grandchild even accomp... Sun, 19 Jan 2014 18:10:12 EST I'm so far behind..... I'm so far behind, I think I'm first. (You know, like falling back a lap on a Nascar track.) <BR> <BR> In a fit of New Year's fever, I signed up for a couple challenges. Aside from one, I am doing very well, except right now I am a couple days off on the book keeping. <BR> <BR> That said, I joined Nicole's January challenge. Basically, it is tracking the food each day. I missed one part of a day, otherwise, perfectly recorded...note, I did not say perfectly eaten, but I put everything down... Sat, 18 Jan 2014 21:35:16 EST Back on track? This last couple days seemed to have not existed. I didn't even notice that I had not posted a blog. <BR> Today I seem to have started to get back in control with both eating and exercising. I guess I was a little surprised at how quickly I 'fell off the wagon.' I assumed it would be gradual, if it ever happened. Not so for me, this time at least. I cannot even say what caused me to "unspark." I was having company on Wednesday, but that does not explain why I didn't exercise on Tuesday. <B... Fri, 17 Jan 2014 21:59:17 EST Rest Day today. "I am Physically Phfft"....hence the rest day. <BR> "Today, all I want to exercise is caution." <BR> "The biggest gap in the world is between 'I should' and 'I did.' " <BR> <BR> Yes, total rest. These weren't even my thoughts. I am resting my brain, too. Sorry to say it was not a planned rest day. I got involved in something, and by 5 PM I realized I had no fitness minutes. Seemed like my choice was to really work hard and squeeze in an hour or more, or to say, "It is a rest day!" I chose ... Tue, 14 Jan 2014 20:41:11 EST Interesting quote.. 'God put me on Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. <BR> Right now I am so far behind that I will never die." <BR> <BR> <BR> Sometimes as I strive to put more minutes into fitness, I realize that it means there are less minutes to go to other things. Then I realize that the stuff I was putting into those minutes wasn't so great anyway. Like today I was reorganizing my recipe cards, yet again. I have one area for the ones with nutritional info. Another has recipes that are either ... Sun, 12 Jan 2014 21:48:04 EST ...about that perfect day <BR> I lost 2 tenths of a pound. Evidently, no magazine will be calling for a story this week. But, I am OK with that. It is still a loss, and I did not stay in the bottom of my range as I usually do. I don't want to lose too fast, so this is going to allow all my hangey stuff to tighten right up this week. Yeah, right. <BR> <BR> I am trying to adjust to my new 3 in 1 machine. It certainly uses more effort that my current machines. So far, I have split up workout times....3; 2; 4; and 2 m... Sat, 11 Jan 2014 20:20:55 EST Tomorrow I will be perfect DH delivered and assembled my 3 in 1 machine....elliptical, stationary bike; recumbent. I have already put in 14 whole minutes! I will wake up tomorrow more slender and more fit than ever. (The ad promised me.) <BR> <BR> And, I ate brown rice today, and turkey taco chili.......high fiber, so my belly fat will be gone. I know this, because Women's World said so.) <BR> <BR> I had 'beaucoup' clementines ....I will wake up healthy, with perfect skin and whatever else vitamin C gives you. (I rea... Fri, 10 Jan 2014 21:59:57 EST Soon, but not yet Saturday is my weigh in day. I have been holding steady...a tenth or two down from the last weigh in..........nothing fantastic, and a tiny fluctuation could kill that. But, I will wait till Saturday before recording it. And my measuring day is on the 12th. So, I have a few days to wonder. Yes, I weigh between my recording days, but do not tape unless I am ready to record. It is too cold to stay nekkid any longer than necessary, and that measure tape is COLD!!! <BR> <BR> I have been in range... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 21:22:02 EST Stumbling over pebbles, not mountains I posted a status update today...We stumble over pebbles, not mountains. This may mean different things to different people, or even different times. <BR> <BR> When I had no working bike, I exercised outside, or at Wal-Mart, and was happy to have that option. Then I got out my antique stationary bike. For a while it worked, somewhat at least. I started using it instead of my outside walk. Then....along came the pebble. It started slipping on the right side. It was not a smooth revolution ... Wed, 8 Jan 2014 21:00:00 EST One week later Only 51 weeks to go until I decide my goals again. <BR> <BR> Seriously, I feel as though I have done pretty well so far. I made one pie, and ate it, yet stayed within my ranges. Yes, I adapted the recipe a bit, but it was still satisfying. <BR> <BR> I spent one day with Mom at the ER, yet managed at least a little exercise, and I was able to get right back up to my goals for the next day. I guess I am always concerned that missing one day is going to 'break' my program. <BR> <BR> I have ev... Tue, 7 Jan 2014 21:43:15 EST A timely benefit to weight loss As with most of the rest of the top half of the US, we are faced with below zero temps, and also nearly -30F wind chills. This is certainly long underwear weather! Just a year ago, I would have had to wear my underwear on the outside, because there was just barely enough room for my skin inside my pants. This year, I have slim leg jeans, and there is even enough room for TWO pair of long johns if I want! And, I suspect that my husband's Carhart overalls would even go over all these layers. (... Mon, 6 Jan 2014 19:52:08 EST Something new for me I have been a cardio exerciser. Now, I am adding in some strength videos by Nicole. I am surprised how well I can keep up. And, I am sure every other person on he planet would say, "You call that keeping up?" <BR> <BR> Yes. Because now, I participate, instead of just watching. I actually lift 3 pound weights, instead of my empty hands. I will not pretend I am doing pushups, but I am having my knees and hands in contact with the floor, and not my belly. (And getting up without climbing up the... Sun, 5 Jan 2014 21:42:25 EST I sit fat, Who knew? OK. I will tell the truth. I have been disappointed that extremely few people have commented on my weight loss. I have lost more than 35 pounds in 6 months. I look in the mirror, and I can see the loss. I wear tighter leg jeans. My tops are smaller. Now, today I would be able to understand it. I have a bra, long underwear top, long sleeve t-shirt, sweater vest, and a light jacket. (Yes, in the house.) But, over Christmas, that was not the case. <BR> The answer came today. I saw a photo of mys... Sat, 4 Jan 2014 20:26:41 EST Best laid plans of mice and men I planned my meals last night. I even planned my workouts to allow for 2 videos for spark team challenges I have joined, and extra time on the treadmill to bring my average time up to 84 minutes per day, again for a team challenge. <BR> <BR> Instead, I was in the ER with my mother for my most productive part of the day...and lunch. So, lunch was not what I had planned. And pacing by her bed must not have been in 10 minute segments. <BR> <BR> By the time I got home, I barely cared about fitn... Fri, 3 Jan 2014 22:05:36 EST I am going to do it. The weather is keeping me from going to try out my exercise equipment during the sale. Normally I do not buy these things without trying them out. OK, I don't normally buy these things...thus the weight problem. <BR> <BR> But, in a giant leap of faith, I am going to order it and have it delivered. I simply cannot allow myself to fall back on my fitness goals. Last month I was hitting 120 minutes regularly. I find without my bike, I am getting about 60 minutes, and seem to prefer less. That i... Thu, 2 Jan 2014 21:28:27 EST Running out of options Not really running out of options, I am just unable to choose the options I like. My stationary bike is broken. It 'slips' on one pedal, and the jolt hurts my hip. The plus to the bike is that it is upstairs near the fireplace, in line with the TV. It needs replaced. Strange, with everyone getting snow, we have less than an inch. But, the irony is that the city with the most snowfall so far this season is Erie PA.........which is where my new elliptical/recumbent/ exercise bike happens to ... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 21:00:20 EST sauerkraut I loved to go into my MIL's house on New Year's Day. I may be one of the minority, but I LOVE the smell of sauerkraut. She used to fix it with pork..................and actually used to make her own sauerkraut. (I have never done that.) <BR> I will have sauerkraut with kielbasa tomorrow, with a side of mashed potatoes. My family never ate it, so I watched DH's family. Does anyone else 'build' their dinner? Meat on the side. Then on the plate, a mound of mashed potatoes, sauerkraut on top of t... Tue, 31 Dec 2013 20:54:45 EST Not done yet The year is almost over, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> My exercise bike is nearly dead, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> In my opinion, it is too cold to be outside, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> Thirty pounds down, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> Still on BP meds, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> Still not perfect on the outside, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> Still need improvement on the inside, but I am not done yet. <BR> <BR> 9:57 PM....3 minutes until bedtime. OK....I am... Mon, 30 Dec 2013 21:58:16 EST just waiting Aren't 'anticipation' and 'waiting' strange things? We are having a Christmas Eve celebration including Santa for the little kids in the family tomorrow night. It is a family tradition, going on ever since I came into the family, and many years before....60+ years, at least. We look forward to it, though I am sure the kids look forward to it even more. <BR> <BR> As you know, my MIL will be buried on Friday. For that, we wait...not anticipate. A different feel to the time passing. Yet, at the... Mon, 23 Dec 2013 22:08:15 EST memories triggered As I mentioned yesterday, my mother in law died. Some friends have called with condolences. One mentioned that this is a hard time of year to lose a loved one. I replied to her that the first Christmas is hard, no matter what time of the year that a person passes away, but I agreed that anticipating Christmas wouldn't be quite the same when it is also near the anniversary of her passing. <BR> <BR> A dear friend wrote, "She must have wanted to be HOME for Christmas." Memories came flooding ba... Sun, 22 Dec 2013 21:25:20 EST Thanks for the prayers My mother in law passed away this evening. She was with family and it was peaceful. <BR> Services are not set yet, but likely to be after Christmas. There are people from as far as Germany who would like to attend. The ice storm that is coming may prevent some closer from attending. Regardless, when she was alive, she never doubted that she was loved. <BR> <BR> It happened that I was able to get my fitness minutes today, and I ate healthy. But over the next few days it will not be my priorit... Sat, 21 Dec 2013 21:07:52 EST TGIF Seems like a long week. MIL is very ill, and that is in the background of everything we do. <BR> <BR> I am exercising, and eating healthy. But, you know, the food just doesn't taste as bright. I went shopping with friends yesterday in Erie. My calories were good. The fitness passed my minimums, and I was glad of that. <BR> <BR> So, this is all for now. Please pray for ease for my MIL, and peace for my DH. Fri, 20 Dec 2013 20:30:23 EST Doctor's approval Routine appointment today. The nurse and doctor were both pleased that I had lost 21 pounds since my last appointment 4 months ago. My numbers per blood/liver/thyroid were good. I am still considered obese, but I assume it is because I am undertall. <BR> <BR> Anyway, I don't go back for 4 more months, so I am pleased. The nurse did question me about what I was doing to lose, so I 'Spread the Spark.' I also mentioned it to a niece that is hoping to make some positive changes. (I mentioned it,... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 21:54:05 EST Strange day I have been doing great! I am keeping up with my fitness...very proud of that. <BR> I have been in range in nearly everything...sometimes low end of the calories, which is OK.....about 1400. <BR> Today I found the inspiration to go out to celebrate a friend's birthday. (OK, we have never met in person, but she is not an imaginary friend.) I ate very healthy....very proud of that, too. <BR> The plan was to come home and make gluten free biscuits and a self crust pumpkin pie as a 'treat' that ... Tue, 17 Dec 2013 20:53:06 EST Whew! I upped my fitness. Same machines, just more intensity and a few more minutes. I have spent so much time on those machines that I have very little kitchen time. <BR> Spark coach suggested no eating after supper. If I don't eat now, I will have too little calories and will not be in my range for anything except fats. So, I will close this soon and have supper #2...rather than a snack. I am short on protein and carbs, so a sandwich might fix everything, or a bowl of cereal and milk. See....nutr... Mon, 16 Dec 2013 20:13:00 EST Some Streaks due to restart I have been walking daily for what seems like forever, combined with stationary bike. Today was bike only. (90+ min) I cannot even tell you why. Maybe I am tired? More likely, I started my fitness too late in the day. I will start a new streak tomorrow. <BR> And it seems I will have to restart the water. I had 6 cups of decaf today, but so far no water. What is up with that? I may get the other cups in before bed. We will see. <BR> I refuse to stop. (And I refuse to lie.) The walking WILL ha... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 20:35:19 EST snow day Nothing horrendous, at least so far, maybe a few inches. <BR> <BR> But I am glad I don't have to go out in it. I am one who appreciates its beauty. I would be OK with half an inch of new snow every day, just to keep the dirty snow covered. Of course I would be sitting by the fire as it was happening. <BR> <BR> I got a bit of walking done on the treadmill....boring, because there is no TV to distract me. Seems like DH and I have our schedules mixed. When he is in the basement and could be co... Sat, 14 Dec 2013 19:53:01 EST