CONFUSEDBIRD's SparkPeople Blog CONFUSEDBIRD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Something anything I set my alarm and i went to werq this morning at 5 am! <BR> <BR> I drank water with lunch, which I have been really slacking on. <BR> <BR> I walked to the library with Max even tho it was kind of miserably cold and windy. That was not a nice mom move on my part. I did cover him. my scary neighbor told me it was too cold for him. I should have listened to her. She has ambulances comes regularly so didn't listen to her lol <BR> <BR> We have been lifting twice a week consistently for 3 weeks... Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:34:38 EST Chill out! Last week I hosted two birthday parties, so lots of food! I have 1 more party this weekend with coworkers and things should mellow a bit. I keep stepping on the scale and cringe. The holidays are coming too. I hate being on this constantly wheel of not being happy with myself. I feel like a hamster going round and round. I listened to that podcast recently where the guy dissects peoples dieting issues from psychological viewpoint instead of a physical one. Usually people visualize themselves ... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 13:53:25 EST Staying on the downlow I have been trying to take it easy and hit the pool more this week. Pulled back the dancing to 1 day this week. My feet weren't too much trouble this week. My steps were the same if not more. I have no idea whats going on maybe the weather change. I do know that my physical therapy bills came in and I wont be calling them anytime soon. Just use what I learned and go from there. <BR> <BR> I ate salads as much as possible for lunch this week too. I was doing great and then BAM tom arrived. So... Sat, 31 Oct 2015 19:18:37 EST Pain here there and everywhere So starting a few weeks ago after work my feet started getting really sore. It first started when i would hit a dance class before work and then go in. But now it's coming on much easier. People have mentioned Plantar fasciitis and Achilles issues to me and back pain. Back pain could be due to Max but I'm lifting him the same as usual. I started going back to my dance class and felt the freaking pain again I was working on at PT. Come on body, please behave! <BR> <BR> Eating has been here t... Sat, 24 Oct 2015 00:13:40 EST Sick = you can eat all the food in the house I have been sick for the past week and a half and when I'm sick i go straight to food to feel better about it. I'm not sure if it's allergies or a cold. I have 1 day where I feel better then 2 where I'm living in a fog. I sleep 9 hours and wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. Today I feel better...i think? I stepped on the scale and holy hell, what did I eat?? dumb bells?? When I was injured and not working out I was 188. Now sick and hardly working out 197, EEEEEEEP! I need to go back to m... Fri, 16 Oct 2015 13:29:48 EST Back to my exercise I was released from physical therapy on Tuesday! Last week she told me to try running and I did 3 times. Started C25K over again for a 4 or 5th time. I felt nothing when I ran so she told me to try my dance class. I did it last night and freaking felt the muscle pull at one point in the class. I think I just need to be careful on those intense hops on 1 leg. Or maybe amp up the dancing slowly. She said if I feel it, just stop what I'm doing and I wont be back to square one. Just start back up... Fri, 2 Oct 2015 11:28:07 EST Processed Food and Physical Therapy I started this blog 3 days ago.. <BR> <BR> I had been dieing to go to red lobster for years and we finally went on labor day with a giftcard. I swear my weight was up 5 lbs after and I was sick to my stomach and dieing of thirst. Well I got that out of my system! I only ate half of my dish and sent the rest to work with husband the next day. Making things at home is way of an idea and I don't feel like I'm retaining fluid for the following 3 days. <BR> <BR> I was talking to a woman I have ... Wed, 9 Sep 2015 23:17:31 EST What a week! Well first off we were walking last Friday and I was telling Scott how Joel had been gone 2.5 weeks. I had put up 9 signs and called everyone I could have called. Not 2 minutes later, Scott looks behind him and there is Joel! Walking behind us with the dogs like he had never been gone. He looked fine, looked well fed. I feel like someone trapped him in their house and tried making a pet out of him. He came home and was kinda scared of the dogs. We put a collar on him and he's been around eve... Fri, 4 Sep 2015 09:34:12 EST Time to dig deeper I'm still dealing with a running injury. Which means its affecting all aspects of my exercise life. I have been trying to lighten up on exercise for 4 days and then I go back to it and I jump in my dance class and feel it. I think it's time to go get it looked at. I'm gonna stick to water aerobics and walking until I know more. <BR> <BR> My big issue is eating well when I am exercising less. I just really need to be more strict on myself. I thought being a stay home mom meant I would have ... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 10:13:01 EST Stuck, stuck stuck Ok so I made it 9 days in my non eating out venture. Then my period came and all hell broke loose. So I have been running and few weeks ago I started getting this burn in my calf when I ran. I have never had a running injury which is pretty amazing. But the fact that I keep running at 190-195 lbs and I can't seem to lose more is probably the reason I am injured. I have never run well at this weight. So I have been trying to take it easy. My race I was training for is on Saturday. My friend I ... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 17:36:49 EST No eating out for August I came up with the brilliant idea while running this week. No eating out for August. Eating out gets me in a tailspin and I think. Hey well if I ate out why not also eat this, this and that? I'm working out like crazy probably 5-7 days a week right now I am hitting my 15000-20000 steps a day. But then my eating bites me in the butt. Plus my mom coming once a week or every 2 weeks isn't helping. I usually allow myself one day of eating out a week. When she comes it turns into two times and it'... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 11:05:57 EST Blog 2 in a week Monday: Run....didn't happen <BR> Tuesday; Dance and lift: check <BR> Wednesday: Run, check! <BR> Thursday: Dance and lift....nope...water aerobics instead <BR> Friday: Long run 4+ miles: check it was rough and 83 degrees but I did it and walked more than I ran: <BR> Saturday: Dance and lift: Check <BR> Sunday: Raining all day so probably gonna run or dance before work. <BR> <BR> Weigh in was 187.6. So I am back to where I was a month ago! Yay I think. Better than have gained. I signed up ... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 09:37:53 EST Blogging is what I need right now! I think I am done taking pictures of my food and trying to stay close to a group. It seemed to work for me for awhile but I think what really works for me is typing out my feelings on food. Not looking at photos of it. I will probably still weigh in with them. I have been stuck in a bad food eating out too much rut yet again. I tried eating salads for lunch for awhile. That got old fast. Plus buying salad and not using it seems to stress me out. I see this huge container of lettuce that I spe... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 14:47:22 EST Finding a groove in all areas of life Slowly slowly moving down. Last weigh in I was at 187.4, down 34 lbs since pregnancy. I am also down to nursing only two times a day so that has pretty much brought me back to normal hunger wise. I really need to make a game plan for running. Maybe running on the mornings my dance class isn't happening. Or just run with the horribly evil jogging stroller. I read an article recently in runners world about how to run with a jogging stroller #1 was: Wait until someone comes home and go without ... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 23:31:54 EST Making headway! It's been awhile since I wrote last. I feel like I am finally getting somewhere. I was down to 191 last week and I am changing my weigh in day. I think that will help. It was Saturday mornings and now it's Friday mornings. Saturday mornings kinda ruined my Friday night. If I leave the week days to be good and weighin before weekends roll around I can do that. But being strong and perfect thru the weekend is not so easy. My other big challenge has been lactation foods. I made lactation cookie... Fri, 15 May 2015 09:59:48 EST Diabetic Dog <img src=""> <BR> I guess I haven't written in awhile. Bella did turn out to be diabetic. 500 dollars later we have her in a good place with her glucose. Thank goodness Scott got a promotion last week, couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so happy she's feeling better and putting weight on. Once she is leveled it wont be that pricey. I remember working for my dad ppl would often put animals to sleep if they were diabetic. I can't imagi... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 15:53:17 EST Stay the same This week my new goal is going to WERQ Tuesday and Thursday and lifting right after. Probably need to skip stretching and get right to it. But I feel like it's the only time I have to do it. I went to dinner last week with some friends and my one friend was talking about how cheap this bar charges for beer on tap. Only 2.50 and the glass is big, so if she doesn't finish it's no big deal. I was "I pay 2.50 for daycare so I can workout". Your beer equates to my 1 hour of sanity in cost lol Bo... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:05:21 EST Streak! I have finally found a weight loss path, yayyyyyy!!! It's been hard to get started. It's not super fast but hey it's progressing and I will take it! I am down 4.4 lbs so far! The weather being nice the past two weeks has made a big difference. Now we are in a cold spell again and my steps have gone down. Oh well I will get them up again. I have been changing it up a lot. Walking, running, swimming, water aerobics and dancing. If only I could find time to lift too, that has not happened yet. L... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 09:38:05 EST Here there and everywhere FB group is sorta helping. It's kinda sad to see what someone weighing 135-145 lbs eats. Makes me not really want to weigh under 150 if that's how torturous it looks. My goal is not to starve, my goal is to exercise as much as I want and find a happy medium. My goal is also to still enjoy ice cream. Because life without ice cream is not worth living lol So far I am down to 197.6. My period returned last week. Which I am kinda happy about. I have an excuse to eat chocolate and know where my b... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 12:43:22 EST Doing good finally The fb group has really been helping me stay on track. We photograph all of our food for the day. So that makes a big difference. I don't really wanna photograph a blizzard so I think twice about going and getting one. Also we post our weight and measurements and that helps a lot too for being good. The women on the group range from 135 to 226 so it's a wide range. It's kind of a nice reminder that no matter what size a woman is it doesn't mean she's eating well or feeling healthy. I feel li... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 23:15:59 EST Ready set go Well the last week has been kind of a worldwind. I had my shortest job possible at the gym daycare. Way too much stress, not worth it at the moment. Rather focus on the gym being the gym and not a negative space. I have been back 3 times since so it's resolved and positive again. I need to work on finding a good schedule for my day. It will be easier when it's not 15 degrees out. <BR> <BR> I think I ruined myself for the treadmill for awhile. I can't seem to get myself on it at the moment.... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:56:38 EST Treadmill-less week Something in me just could not get on the treadmill this week. Maybe because I planned it out too much in my head. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Friday I got on it but then the plumbers called and that was that. We had roots in our sewer line. I did make it to two 5 am dance classes and 2 hour dance event on Saturday. My energy is still not what it once was from before getting pregnant. Which is really frustrating. During the two hour class I could feel my energy just plummeting. <BR> <BR> Yes... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 12:03:12 EST Finding rails I would say the most positive thing that happened this week was sleep. Max slept two night for 9 hours and then the other nights were 7.5-8 hrs. Been blessed with a good sleeper which means mom and and dad get sleep too. My trick for getting this has been not letting him sleep anywhere too comfy in the day. He has a little bounce chair he sleeps in but he only cat naps in it throughout the day. Then once he hits his crib he is knocked out for the night. His parlor trick of the week is his con... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 09:41:53 EST Being happy at 200 lbs I can't say that I am doing everything possible to not weight 200 lbs. But I am exercising and logging food and I am still 200 lbs. I am not gonna stop nursing to make the extra hunger go away. I can still do whatever the hell I want at 200 lbs. I am still running, dancing and water aerobics-ing. So whatever not gonna beat myself up about it. Husband still loves me to death and very much not turned off by my extra weight. Whatever it is what it is right now. <BR> <BR> I got my new fitbit to... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:29:05 EST Holy Soreness Batman! Ok my running soreness did not hit til last night. This morning it was bad but not terrible. I am too stubborn to take medicine. What did I do this morning? I got back on the treadmill and ran again, better to warm up the muscles. I didn't kick my ass as hard as Wednesday. Starting to embrace that treadmill. We might turn into buddies yet! I made it to the mall 1 days this week, yesterday. Got up to a heatwave of 15 degrees. Taking him out in the cold is quite a task. Today I am going to my... Fri, 9 Jan 2015 12:58:37 EST I got on the treadmill and ran! Yesterday I was going a tad bit crazy stuck inside. So I put Max in his little chair and put it infront of the treadmill and had intent to walk. But then I challenged myself to run and I ran more and more. I got 2.25 miles done in 30 minutes! My legs started feeling really heavy and painful toward the end. I haven't run in almost a yr since getting pregnant. Thank goodness I still have a base for it. I didn't really have any intent to run for awhile. I kept telling myself that I was too heav... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 11:25:35 EST 2015 I wrote a whole blog 2 days ago and somehow got busy as usual and didn't finish. Oh well it wasn't a very positive one. <BR> <BR> I keep thinking of my new years resolutions of the past. 2007 was my best one, that one jump started me to lose 130lbs. This yr of course I wanna lose the weight I put on with the munchkin. But really I wanna focus on the small things. Like actually measuring out what 2 tbsp on peanut looks like. Same for cream cheese. Those are both so easy to fib on. Figuring... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 13:22:31 EST Times up! Ok I had my 6 weeks of no exercise and semi food logging. Times up, now we are down to business! I weighed this morning and I was at 199.8. Hanging out under 200 lbs by the skin of my teeth. My highest pregnancy weight was 220. Yesterday I really wanted a new fitness hoodie to motivate me to feel pretty. I tried on all these hoodies and instead of feeling pretty I felt horrible about myself. Walked away with nothing but a negative self image. <BR> <BR> This was fall of last yr <BR> <img ... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 16:36:14 EST I'm Back! To my healthier self anyway. This week marks my fifth week PP so I am ready to get my butt back in gear. It's been a rough recovery. I take two steps forward in healing and then 3 steps back, 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. I am so ready to feel as good psychically as my mind feels to get exercising. I so miss it. I turned my gympact back on this week and it's been haunting me. I have it set to walk 3 days 10k steps...has not happened yet. Log 4 days of food, I am on that! Take 4 days of fru... Thu, 11 Dec 2014 10:12:25 EST Max Emery is here! I finished working on Halloween and went into labor on the following Tuesday at 2:20 pm. We ended up at Labor and Delivery at 6:30 pm. I was 3 cm dilated when I was admitted. We walked laps and got in the birthing tub and got to 6 cm. The pain got to be too much at 1 am and I finally gave into the epidural after 10 hrs of pushing it off. Poor Scott I think watching was hard for him at some points. I had to make him sit down and ask a nurse for orange juice and cookies cuz he was not looking g... Mon, 10 Nov 2014 18:06:18 EST On Maternity Mode Yesterday was my last day working!!! We made arrangements for it to be my last day back in September. Then last week my boss found out my delivery day was 1 week later than she thought. So she just assumed I wanted to stay til I gave birth there. No thank you! I have seen studies in other countries that say woman who take time off to rest before giving birth actually have much easier labors. I was crampy all day yesterday and ended up taking my lunch 2 hours late. So when I was done at 3 pm, ... Sat, 1 Nov 2014 10:16:04 EST Fat girl melt down I feel like so many old negative wounds have been stirred up thru this pregnancy. I wrote in my last blog about the manager saying to the customer that I had gained weight everywhere instead of just growing a belly. Friday she walked by and said "Hi fatty, how you doing?" I didn't look at her, I looked at my coworker who I have brought up this woman's comments with. She noticed I looked at the coworker and said "your gonna be a great mama". I know her and the other ppl in her department poke... Sat, 25 Oct 2014 22:27:37 EST Coming to an end My due date is a little over 3 weeks away. He's been growing in leaps and bounds lately. I have an appointment this morning, from here on out I see my OB every week. I'm still kinda worried about what position he's in. They can turn up until 36 weeks so I am not sure if he's locked and loaded in the wrong position right now. This will be the appointment that I probably find out. I am scared cuz I can't seem to locate where his hiccups are coming from lately. They still seem high to me. My da... Tue, 21 Oct 2014 09:00:25 EST Progress on the frusteration The gym called me back and they talked to him. He mentioned ppl not showering could give him Ebola in the hot tub.... really? Amazing how news can evoke such fear in ppl that they can get hostile in public places. Maybe he should stay home instead of living at the gym. You can catch a lot more at the gym other than Ebola. I wont be going back to water aerobics til next week. They told me that if he talks to me again to report it again. I don't think he could tell I was pregnant. Even at 8 mon... Fri, 10 Oct 2014 08:47:13 EST Frustrating week My big issue this week has to do with the gym. I have been going to a big gym for 6-7 years and never had an issue with anyone. So this really caught me off guard. Especially since it happened in the pool, which seems like it would be the most calm area. I usually shower at home and wear my swim suit to the gym so that when I get there I can just take off my top layer and go to the pool. Well there are signs posted for ppl who workout and then get in to the pool in disgusting sweaty clothes.... Thu, 9 Oct 2014 16:24:27 EST 33 weeks pregnant and not giving up my dancing! My feet are starting to swell and make it hard to fit into my vibrams. I went to my dance class this morning and wanted to be barefoot the whole time. I asked the teacher about it after and she said I could. I just donno if I could slide. I might try some yoga socks even though socks lately have been sucky for me. I asked my other friend about ballet flats but I guess those are known for running really small. 7 more weeks, I am not giving up my dancing! Get with it feet, you are not giving up... Thu, 25 Sep 2014 10:23:11 EST 30 weeks <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Finally rounding out a bit. My big issue of the week has been my brain dissolving. I have forgot to put my fitbit on twice this week. Once for 5 am WerQ on Thursday and then again this morning I did it again, left it attached to my pajamas. Did I remember to snag it when I came home from lunch? Nope. I also dishwashed ballpoint pens, left the toaster oven on all night and wore a dress inside out to grocery shop. I... Sun, 7 Sep 2014 17:57:05 EST I'll go tomorrow! Ever find yourself saying that? Oh I didn't exercise today, I will go tomorrow! I felt like I did that all last week. Or finding yourself depending on workout buddies and they fall thru so you stay home as well. Yesterday I got off work from a short day and I had a lot of energy. Went home (hot as hell here right now) and got my swim suit on and headed straight to the pool. I haven't swam swam in probably 10 months. But I had an urge. So I rotated lap swimming/deep water aerobics/treading wa... Tue, 26 Aug 2014 12:05:58 EST 28 weeks <img src=""> <BR> Out take of the first picture, Joel has to always make an appearance <BR> <img src=""> <BR> 28 weeks and 202 lbs after a dance class. Didn't make it to my dance class as much as I wanted this week. Only 2 times and water aerobics 1 time. Eating was not the worst tho. We had ultrasounds this week too to check his face for deformities and check out all his heart chambe... Sun, 24 Aug 2014 17:55:03 EST Back peddleing I talked to a spark buddy last night about back peddling in the weight loss realm. She is gaining her weight back and hitting all the same numbers I hit. All the realization numbers that just leave you feeling utterly lost. Why is it some of us struggle with our weight our whole life and need to fight to stay away from 250 land. Then we have coworkers that have never weighed over 140. Is it because everyone is fighting some battle and maybe 140 land isn't theirs? Maybe their battle isn't visi... Tue, 19 Aug 2014 09:03:59 EST Crapola Week I had my pregnancy glucose test on tuesday which I was dreading but also we had an ultrasound so I was kind of excited about the appointment as well. They called me at 5 pm the night before and to say the tech was sick, so no ultrasound. I kept reading on babycenter that most labs do a 1 hr test and then if u fail they do a 3 hr. Well my lab skipped straight to the 3 hr. At least I know I don't have to do the 3 hr if I failed this one. Ultrasound is next week. I brought up the water birth at ... Thu, 14 Aug 2014 11:06:32 EST Keeping busy I ate almost that whole watermelon by myself. I love this time of year so much good fruit in season. The white nectarines are soooo good and so cheap right now YUM! I broke 200 on the home scale this morning which is not terrible considering I broke it on the doctor scale almost 4 weeks ago and little dude is 2 lbs or close to it this week. Been staying away from meat which seems to be helping. When I start eating it, I feel like an avalanche of fatty food starts becoming my craving. Funny my... Thu, 7 Aug 2014 09:26:35 EST Out of comfort zone I got a lot done this morning. I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a dance class with a teacher I didn't care for. 9 am dance class left me the youngest person in class by 30 yrs besides the teacher. I am happy I went, needed the exercise and it was a good workout. <BR> <BR> Then I came home and walked the dogs before the temps broke 80. Called my mom and amazingly she did not mention baby names. I was ready and willing to tell her that I love her but what I name my baby is none o... Mon, 4 Aug 2014 14:44:49 EST Seeing the positives I am really starting to feel my energy dwindle as time goes on. Doing songs in my dance class and barely being able to enjoy them. It will all return and energy will be mine again, I just didn't think my ass would handed to me so early. It's a better week of not eating out as much and exercising more consistently. This morning I didn't wake up for my dance class, but I am doing water aerobics instead tonight. I did go yesterday morning. Did I mention I have been having dreams about running? ... Thu, 31 Jul 2014 10:33:03 EST Awwwwesome I have been so frustrating with my stomach shape since I got pregnant. Jealous of nice round bellies. Everyone is like "oooh no it will round out! You will pop". uhhhh sure. When I was big before, I had skin on the top of my belly and then a pooch under. Lost 130 lbs, they both got smaller. Small enough that I wore sport bikini's to water aerobics and felt like "hell ya, I don't care". As I get bigger with this pregnancy both top and bottom section get bigger as well and I keep this awful wa... Sat, 26 Jul 2014 09:08:48 EST What a week Last Friday we dealt with my dad being gone 1 year. Somehow I think 4th of July was harder, since it was our holiday together. Monday night my 2nd cousin Gabby messaged and me told me her Grampa died (my uncle, died 1 yr and 2 days after my dad). Been kinda stressed over that, I am in no shape to head to Chicago right now. Jews usually bury super fast, 2 days. Then they sit shivah for 7 days. So you have PLENTY of time to get to Chicago.....yay...... I had not seen my uncle in 7-8 yrs. Him a... Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:54:39 EST You know what to do So I have been back on the straight for 3 days now. I did not wake up for any dance classes this week. I have been eating much better tho. I have not eaten anything out since Sunday night. I donno what my weight would have been at home as opposed to the doctor. But I am weighing in at 194.6 right now. Not 201 like the nurse told me, thank god. Yesterday I went to a dance class after work which was not a great idea. But you know I had to try. My ankles get really aggrivated after standing on t... Thu, 17 Jul 2014 10:02:29 EST Please don't tell me my weight Yes maybe I have been in denial this pregnancy over my weight. I can still do all my jumps in WERQ and I can still stand for an 8 hr day at work just fine. I don't feel like I look heavier in the mirror. Well Maybe I do, maybe just not in the face... yet. Anyway when I got to my OB I ask the nurse not to tell me my weight, I don't wanna focus on the number. I wanna focus on being healthy. Well yesterday she blurted it out before I could say "Please don't....". Ugh it was 201, holy crap! This ... Tue, 15 Jul 2014 08:39:09 EST Kicking around a name I have been wanting to name a baby boy after my grampa for a few years now. When he came thru ellis island from Transylvania his name was Enrich Jack. They told him to go by Jack, so he did. But I really like the name Enrich. My issue with it is that it is kind of weird and it doesn't look like it sounds. So we have been looking at alernative closely related names. I am just frustrated, none of them sound or feel right. I really don't wanna be one of these difficult ppl who give their kid a ... Sat, 12 Jul 2014 09:55:19 EST Tired so tired This was one of those weeks where I could take 3 naps a day if you let me. Thank goodness my work schedule is getting cut down by 1 hour. So I am off at 4 pm starting tomorrow. That will make a big difference. 8-5 on my feet is rather rough at this point already. I keep thinking I look more pregnant and then I look in the mirror and I don't. Kinda frustrating to feel pregnant and not look pregnant at 21 weeks. I had a friend who was like 8-9 months pregnant and she still didn't look pregnant ... Mon, 7 Jul 2014 09:05:32 EST