CONFUSEDBIRD's SparkPeople Blog CONFUSEDBIRD's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community I'm still around! I got pregnant finally right after I wrote my last blog, now 13 weeks along. I am trying harder this time not to eat out. Last time I gave into every craving possible. trying not to do that this time. Logging has been okay not steller. I got rid of my gympact account it was stressing me out but it also made me log all my food 5 days a week and feel guilty about not getting my 10k steps 5 days as well. Right now that's not so easy. I don't need the revolver at my head especially in the winter.... Thu, 1 Dec 2016 09:32:08 EST I'm still around Not that much has changed since I wrote last.Just been busy chasing around my toddler, haven't had much time to sit down and write. I've maintained pretty much the same weight now I haven't had the time to lift regularly and I can tell the differences in my body big time. I lift at home during naptime but it doesn't have the same effect as going to the gym and using their equipment. Oh well do what you can do with what you got available. Fitting it 1-2 times a week is better than nothing. I f... Mon, 26 Sep 2016 09:11:58 EST Coming out of a fog My weight finally dropped and guess why? I upped my calories, go figure? I finally gave up on my lifting buddy and arranged for Scott and I to lift at home. Which feels great, because it's been such a mental struggle to depend on someone who isn't reliable. I hate that I have to lift regularly to not hate my arms but it is what it is. Her life is too crazy at the moment to fit me into it. Such as she's gonna be a grandma in August so I'm ready to let it go and move on. <BR> <BR> Last Wednes... Tue, 10 May 2016 12:57:38 EST Still here not moving My feet were pretty good in the orthotics and I was able to dance they felt about 70%. Then I was stupid one day and thought my outfit looked silly with gym shoes, so I wore birkenstocks instead screwed my feet up again. UGH I went in and saw my podiatrist and sort of lied to him. I feel like his only solution is steroid shots and that really kind of pisses me off. He offered them again after I said my feet felt 70%. I talked to someone at my job who saw him back in 98 for the exact same issu... Tue, 3 May 2016 14:10:35 EST Kicking up the dust I danced 3 days last week and It didn't really bother my foot. Right now I'm in the midst of TOM and not feeling like exercising, must push forward, I know it will make me feel better. I have my 5 week orthotics checkup tomorrow. I would say my pain is 80% gone, I still feel it when I wake up or if I've had my shoes on all day. It's much better than it was, that's for sure. <BR> <BR> Funny I traded all the foot issues for therapist fees. Yesterday I saw him for the 3rd week in a row. He's t... Thu, 14 Apr 2016 09:42:57 EST Back to dancing! I have danced two times in the past week!!! For the past week and half I have been wearing my orthotics just a few hours a day and still wearing my plantar sock with it. This monday I went off the sock and straight to the orthotics, so far so good! I danced at home and I went to 1 class last week. Besides my big toe rubbing (which could be a nail issue) My feet felt good! I am so happy things are finally looking up with my feet. When your in the thick of it, it feels hopeless. I'm happy I fin... Wed, 6 Apr 2016 09:22:56 EST Better week The last two weeks have been rough, TOM and then I just couldn't get my bearings. This week finally feels better and my calories have been good. Lifting buddy is out of town but that is not stopping me. I am still gonna get my lifting in without her. Yesterday I attended a therapy session with my mom. I had no idea how it would go. As soon as we got in there and he asked us what was wrong it got really tense really fast pointing fingers at each other. He ended up having my mom leave for 40 mi... Thu, 31 Mar 2016 09:26:18 EST The good the good and the crazy It's been a good week, the weather is good and I hardly wanna come inside. My spark friend Leigh connected me up with another friend of hers and she added me to a 5 day fitbit group and it's been very encouraging. My weight is finally back down below 189 for the first time this year. I have been in such a rut with no real cardio besides water aerobics plus I took all of Feb. off lifting. We got back to it this week and it feels great to be back. My calories are the same, my butt just really n... Thu, 10 Mar 2016 09:38:57 EST March Challange So our little spark group on instagram is attempting to do no cheat days in March as a challenge and no food after after a certain time. So here are my goals. <BR> <BR> 1. Stay between 1470-1770 for the whole month of March, yikes! <BR> 2. No food after 8:30 pm, I would say 8 but Max goes to bed at 8 and I can't eat anything infront of him without sharing. <BR> 3. Drink my 8 cups of water every day! (been a slacker) <BR> <BR> I think that's it, Day 1 down and I did all of those things! Also... Tue, 1 Mar 2016 22:46:07 EST Approved for orthotics! Yayyyy I am so happy this week is ending on a better note! He didn't push me to get the steroid shot either. He told me if the orthotics arent helping in 4-6 weeks then probably plan on a steroid injection. Plus I didn't need to get the steroid before my insurance would approve the inserts. I hope this is the answer I've been waiting for. I feel like all my issues have come from child bearing my hips being unaligned from it. My good foot goes out to the right when I walk making all my shoes f... Fri, 26 Feb 2016 15:09:09 EST The week of 'what on earth is ahead?' Yesterday I had my friends baby here and I was in the kitchen with Max and Willow and Max found a sponge and took it out of the room and i heard a scream. He was tormenting Ralph while he slept and Ralph bit him in the face. Ralph is almost 11 and arthritic and gained some weight since Max started eating so getting around has been harder on him. He terrorized all the animals and Ralph is usually the one to stay still and be patient. The other two dogs just get away, they snap but don't bite. ... Wed, 24 Feb 2016 12:34:48 EST Throwing all you got I am done with week 2 of PT. They now have me in a nightsplint. He told me to just try to keep it on as long as I can each night HA! One night I woke up sick and it stayed on 90 mins, the next night I woke up feeling like I had no blood going to foot and threw it off. Last night felt like it stayed on the longest. I don't think it's making a difference. I don't think the shoes really are either, it still hurts when I walk extended amounts of time. It feels good when I wear birkis in the house... Sat, 13 Feb 2016 11:43:53 EST New Shoes The new plumbers finally came, they were way more pricey. The issue is fixed, I can do my cloth diapers again! <BR> <BR> I started PT last week for an evaluation and the guy I saw was pretty cocky and didn't really tell me to stay away from dancing. Then I made appointments for him this week and he was booked so I got put in with someone else. She told me not to dance and told me I should go get new shoes from a running store. So last night I did that, I'm a nightmare to fit for shoes. $180... Tue, 2 Feb 2016 15:30:08 EST Boooooo to this week! Friday I called our normal plumber to come they called it off a few hrs later saying their morning job was taking too long, could they come Monday. I stayed home all afternoon waiting for them, they no showed. I called and they asked if they could come Tuesday and they actually gave me a time. 40 minutes into that time I called pissed saying, ok finding a new plumber.Found a new plumber coming 1 week after the first appointment, ughhhh. I can't clean diapers without the basement flooding, so ... Wed, 27 Jan 2016 14:44:23 EST Change is a coming I bit the bullet and made a podiatry appointment, I have a feeling he's gonna tell me to lay off anything jumping related. So I better get all the jumping out of my system before I go, right? <em>334</em> So I went to WerQ on Thursday morning and the teacher announced that she is 8 weeks pregnant and getting rid of her Saturday class. My favorite class of the whole week. Until after she has the baby in October. I guess it's a sign I need to take some time off. Despite it all I can go to wa... Fri, 22 Jan 2016 14:45:26 EST Walk walk walk Yesterday I was home with Max all day and he couldn't get up himself, he puts his hands out and goes "uh uh uh". I went to the gym for 90 minutes and came home and Scott said he stood up from the middle of the floor about 10 times. He immediately looked at me and goes "uh uh uh". Might as well ask mom for help! lol He started walking Thursday and now he can wobble 10+ steps into the middle of the room. Quite a difference in 6 days. <BR> <BR> Exercise hasn't been that active this week but I ... Wed, 13 Jan 2016 09:19:19 EST 1 week down! We finished week one and our group has grown! We now have 4 total posting pics and everyone had a loss this week of .3-5.9 lbs down! I think I was the only 1 to take a day off. Scott and I agreed on 1 cheat meal a week. If we screw up in the middle of the week and have a need for chinese food or my mom comes to town and I eat out with her than my cheat meal has been used. This week was good I did a lot more cooking. Cut back on my red meat and pork intake which helped a lot. This coming week ... Sun, 10 Jan 2016 21:47:34 EST What an inspiration <link><BR>/ultra?cid=soc_Runner%27s%20World%20-%<BR>20RunnersWorld_FBPAGE_Runner%E2%80%99s<BR>%20World__ </link> <BR> <BR> I read this before bed last night and felt so inspired by her. Runners and exercisers come in all shapes and sizes. When I was a member of the running group one of our leaders was a man probably in the 270 range. Running was his outlet and happy place. Not all of us get stick thin or if we do we have to feel tortured to do so. I lov... Mon, 4 Jan 2016 09:32:38 EST Day 2 complete full speed ahead! <BR> I am done with Day 2 posting pics with Leigh and now Eddy is joining our team! It's great to have two old friends motivated and doing this with me makes a big difference. It wont be easy but we arent alone and that's what matters. I did something similar to this last year and everyone was smaller than me so my meals looked big by comparison. They probably just skipped shooting their screw ups. They were all people from my gym though so it was harder to face ppl you see on a regular basi... Sun, 3 Jan 2016 22:15:48 EST Accountability I agreed to my long time spark buddy Leigh, to be her accountability buddy. I need this because I have been really slipping up the past year or getting through by the skin of teeth. I didn't start it amazingly today. I had plans to go to breakfast with some girl gym buddies which we made over a month ago. I photographed it and I will eat accordingly for the day because of that breakfast. My starting weight is 197.2. <BR> <BR> Scott and I have started talking about when to get pregnant with #... Sat, 2 Jan 2016 14:16:19 EST Goodbye 2015 It's been a rough week. Monday I wanted to go to the gym and we were having a snow storm, everything was covered in ice. I asked my friend who was already at work how the roads were. She said "I wont go out unless you didn't have a choice". So we stayed in. I was putting away laundry and turned my back for 2 seconds and I heard Max falling down the stairs. I ran as fast as I could after him and saw him keep rolling and land on his face. I was shaking and crying and so scared to turn him over... Thu, 31 Dec 2015 23:31:33 EST Finishing anything I start is not easy I have written at least 1-3 blogs in the past week and not finished any of them. Max is going thru something fun currently. I'm ready to go back to work and escape him. Not really...well some days. I've been trying to do holiday shopping and I make it through 1 store before all hell breaks lose and I have to give up and head home. I usually get flustered halfway through from screaming or him just being loud and forget something terribly stupid like bread of milk. Hopefully this will pass too.... Sat, 5 Dec 2015 23:31:35 EST Something anything I set my alarm and i went to werq this morning at 5 am! <BR> <BR> I drank water with lunch, which I have been really slacking on. <BR> <BR> I walked to the library with Max even tho it was kind of miserably cold and windy. That was not a nice mom move on my part. I did cover him. my scary neighbor told me it was too cold for him. I should have listened to her. She has ambulances comes regularly so didn't listen to her lol <BR> <BR> We have been lifting twice a week consistently for 3 weeks... Thu, 12 Nov 2015 16:34:38 EST Chill out! Last week I hosted two birthday parties, so lots of food! I have 1 more party this weekend with coworkers and things should mellow a bit. I keep stepping on the scale and cringe. The holidays are coming too. I hate being on this constantly wheel of not being happy with myself. I feel like a hamster going round and round. I listened to that podcast recently where the guy dissects peoples dieting issues from psychological viewpoint instead of a physical one. Usually people visualize themselves ... Tue, 10 Nov 2015 13:53:25 EST Staying on the downlow I have been trying to take it easy and hit the pool more this week. Pulled back the dancing to 1 day this week. My feet weren't too much trouble this week. My steps were the same if not more. I have no idea whats going on maybe the weather change. I do know that my physical therapy bills came in and I wont be calling them anytime soon. Just use what I learned and go from there. <BR> <BR> I ate salads as much as possible for lunch this week too. I was doing great and then BAM tom arrived. So... Sat, 31 Oct 2015 19:18:37 EST Pain here there and everywhere So starting a few weeks ago after work my feet started getting really sore. It first started when i would hit a dance class before work and then go in. But now it's coming on much easier. People have mentioned Plantar fasciitis and Achilles issues to me and back pain. Back pain could be due to Max but I'm lifting him the same as usual. I started going back to my dance class and felt the freaking pain again I was working on at PT. Come on body, please behave! <BR> <BR> Eating has been here t... Sat, 24 Oct 2015 00:13:40 EST Sick = you can eat all the food in the house I have been sick for the past week and a half and when I'm sick i go straight to food to feel better about it. I'm not sure if it's allergies or a cold. I have 1 day where I feel better then 2 where I'm living in a fog. I sleep 9 hours and wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. Today I feel better...i think? I stepped on the scale and holy hell, what did I eat?? dumb bells?? When I was injured and not working out I was 188. Now sick and hardly working out 197, EEEEEEEP! I need to go back to m... Fri, 16 Oct 2015 13:29:48 EST Back to my exercise I was released from physical therapy on Tuesday! Last week she told me to try running and I did 3 times. Started C25K over again for a 4 or 5th time. I felt nothing when I ran so she told me to try my dance class. I did it last night and freaking felt the muscle pull at one point in the class. I think I just need to be careful on those intense hops on 1 leg. Or maybe amp up the dancing slowly. She said if I feel it, just stop what I'm doing and I wont be back to square one. Just start back up... Fri, 2 Oct 2015 11:28:07 EST Processed Food and Physical Therapy I started this blog 3 days ago.. <BR> <BR> I had been dieing to go to red lobster for years and we finally went on labor day with a giftcard. I swear my weight was up 5 lbs after and I was sick to my stomach and dieing of thirst. Well I got that out of my system! I only ate half of my dish and sent the rest to work with husband the next day. Making things at home is way of an idea and I don't feel like I'm retaining fluid for the following 3 days. <BR> <BR> I was talking to a woman I have ... Wed, 9 Sep 2015 23:17:31 EST What a week! Well first off we were walking last Friday and I was telling Scott how Joel had been gone 2.5 weeks. I had put up 9 signs and called everyone I could have called. Not 2 minutes later, Scott looks behind him and there is Joel! Walking behind us with the dogs like he had never been gone. He looked fine, looked well fed. I feel like someone trapped him in their house and tried making a pet out of him. He came home and was kinda scared of the dogs. We put a collar on him and he's been around eve... Fri, 4 Sep 2015 09:34:12 EST Time to dig deeper I'm still dealing with a running injury. Which means its affecting all aspects of my exercise life. I have been trying to lighten up on exercise for 4 days and then I go back to it and I jump in my dance class and feel it. I think it's time to go get it looked at. I'm gonna stick to water aerobics and walking until I know more. <BR> <BR> My big issue is eating well when I am exercising less. I just really need to be more strict on myself. I thought being a stay home mom meant I would have ... Wed, 26 Aug 2015 10:13:01 EST Stuck, stuck stuck Ok so I made it 9 days in my non eating out venture. Then my period came and all hell broke loose. So I have been running and few weeks ago I started getting this burn in my calf when I ran. I have never had a running injury which is pretty amazing. But the fact that I keep running at 190-195 lbs and I can't seem to lose more is probably the reason I am injured. I have never run well at this weight. So I have been trying to take it easy. My race I was training for is on Saturday. My friend I ... Wed, 12 Aug 2015 17:36:49 EST No eating out for August I came up with the brilliant idea while running this week. No eating out for August. Eating out gets me in a tailspin and I think. Hey well if I ate out why not also eat this, this and that? I'm working out like crazy probably 5-7 days a week right now I am hitting my 15000-20000 steps a day. But then my eating bites me in the butt. Plus my mom coming once a week or every 2 weeks isn't helping. I usually allow myself one day of eating out a week. When she comes it turns into two times and it'... Sun, 2 Aug 2015 11:05:57 EST Blog 2 in a week Monday: Run....didn't happen <BR> Tuesday; Dance and lift: check <BR> Wednesday: Run, check! <BR> Thursday: Dance and lift....nope...water aerobics instead <BR> Friday: Long run 4+ miles: check it was rough and 83 degrees but I did it and walked more than I ran: <BR> Saturday: Dance and lift: Check <BR> Sunday: Raining all day so probably gonna run or dance before work. <BR> <BR> Weigh in was 187.6. So I am back to where I was a month ago! Yay I think. Better than have gained. I signed up ... Sun, 19 Jul 2015 09:37:53 EST Blogging is what I need right now! I think I am done taking pictures of my food and trying to stay close to a group. It seemed to work for me for awhile but I think what really works for me is typing out my feelings on food. Not looking at photos of it. I will probably still weigh in with them. I have been stuck in a bad food eating out too much rut yet again. I tried eating salads for lunch for awhile. That got old fast. Plus buying salad and not using it seems to stress me out. I see this huge container of lettuce that I spe... Tue, 14 Jul 2015 14:47:22 EST Finding a groove in all areas of life Slowly slowly moving down. Last weigh in I was at 187.4, down 34 lbs since pregnancy. I am also down to nursing only two times a day so that has pretty much brought me back to normal hunger wise. I really need to make a game plan for running. Maybe running on the mornings my dance class isn't happening. Or just run with the horribly evil jogging stroller. I read an article recently in runners world about how to run with a jogging stroller #1 was: Wait until someone comes home and go without ... Fri, 19 Jun 2015 23:31:54 EST Making headway! It's been awhile since I wrote last. I feel like I am finally getting somewhere. I was down to 191 last week and I am changing my weigh in day. I think that will help. It was Saturday mornings and now it's Friday mornings. Saturday mornings kinda ruined my Friday night. If I leave the week days to be good and weighin before weekends roll around I can do that. But being strong and perfect thru the weekend is not so easy. My other big challenge has been lactation foods. I made lactation cookie... Fri, 15 May 2015 09:59:48 EST Diabetic Dog <img src=""> <BR> I guess I haven't written in awhile. Bella did turn out to be diabetic. 500 dollars later we have her in a good place with her glucose. Thank goodness Scott got a promotion last week, couldn't have come at a better time. I'm so happy she's feeling better and putting weight on. Once she is leveled it wont be that pricey. I remember working for my dad ppl would often put animals to sleep if they were diabetic. I can't imagi... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 15:53:17 EST Stay the same This week my new goal is going to WERQ Tuesday and Thursday and lifting right after. Probably need to skip stretching and get right to it. But I feel like it's the only time I have to do it. I went to dinner last week with some friends and my one friend was talking about how cheap this bar charges for beer on tap. Only 2.50 and the glass is big, so if she doesn't finish it's no big deal. I was "I pay 2.50 for daycare so I can workout". Your beer equates to my 1 hour of sanity in cost lol Bo... Mon, 30 Mar 2015 14:05:21 EST Streak! I have finally found a weight loss path, yayyyyyy!!! It's been hard to get started. It's not super fast but hey it's progressing and I will take it! I am down 4.4 lbs so far! The weather being nice the past two weeks has made a big difference. Now we are in a cold spell again and my steps have gone down. Oh well I will get them up again. I have been changing it up a lot. Walking, running, swimming, water aerobics and dancing. If only I could find time to lift too, that has not happened yet. L... Wed, 25 Mar 2015 09:38:05 EST Here there and everywhere FB group is sorta helping. It's kinda sad to see what someone weighing 135-145 lbs eats. Makes me not really want to weigh under 150 if that's how torturous it looks. My goal is not to starve, my goal is to exercise as much as I want and find a happy medium. My goal is also to still enjoy ice cream. Because life without ice cream is not worth living lol So far I am down to 197.6. My period returned last week. Which I am kinda happy about. I have an excuse to eat chocolate and know where my b... Mon, 16 Mar 2015 12:43:22 EST Doing good finally The fb group has really been helping me stay on track. We photograph all of our food for the day. So that makes a big difference. I don't really wanna photograph a blizzard so I think twice about going and getting one. Also we post our weight and measurements and that helps a lot too for being good. The women on the group range from 135 to 226 so it's a wide range. It's kind of a nice reminder that no matter what size a woman is it doesn't mean she's eating well or feeling healthy. I feel li... Sat, 28 Feb 2015 23:15:59 EST Ready set go Well the last week has been kind of a worldwind. I had my shortest job possible at the gym daycare. Way too much stress, not worth it at the moment. Rather focus on the gym being the gym and not a negative space. I have been back 3 times since so it's resolved and positive again. I need to work on finding a good schedule for my day. It will be easier when it's not 15 degrees out. <BR> <BR> I think I ruined myself for the treadmill for awhile. I can't seem to get myself on it at the moment.... Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:56:38 EST Treadmill-less week Something in me just could not get on the treadmill this week. Maybe because I planned it out too much in my head. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Friday I got on it but then the plumbers called and that was that. We had roots in our sewer line. I did make it to two 5 am dance classes and 2 hour dance event on Saturday. My energy is still not what it once was from before getting pregnant. Which is really frustrating. During the two hour class I could feel my energy just plummeting. <BR> <BR> Yes... Sun, 8 Feb 2015 12:03:12 EST Finding rails I would say the most positive thing that happened this week was sleep. Max slept two night for 9 hours and then the other nights were 7.5-8 hrs. Been blessed with a good sleeper which means mom and and dad get sleep too. My trick for getting this has been not letting him sleep anywhere too comfy in the day. He has a little bounce chair he sleeps in but he only cat naps in it throughout the day. Then once he hits his crib he is knocked out for the night. His parlor trick of the week is his con... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 09:41:53 EST Being happy at 200 lbs I can't say that I am doing everything possible to not weight 200 lbs. But I am exercising and logging food and I am still 200 lbs. I am not gonna stop nursing to make the extra hunger go away. I can still do whatever the hell I want at 200 lbs. I am still running, dancing and water aerobics-ing. So whatever not gonna beat myself up about it. Husband still loves me to death and very much not turned off by my extra weight. Whatever it is what it is right now. <BR> <BR> I got my new fitbit to... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 23:29:05 EST Holy Soreness Batman! Ok my running soreness did not hit til last night. This morning it was bad but not terrible. I am too stubborn to take medicine. What did I do this morning? I got back on the treadmill and ran again, better to warm up the muscles. I didn't kick my ass as hard as Wednesday. Starting to embrace that treadmill. We might turn into buddies yet! I made it to the mall 1 days this week, yesterday. Got up to a heatwave of 15 degrees. Taking him out in the cold is quite a task. Today I am going to my... Fri, 9 Jan 2015 12:58:37 EST I got on the treadmill and ran! Yesterday I was going a tad bit crazy stuck inside. So I put Max in his little chair and put it infront of the treadmill and had intent to walk. But then I challenged myself to run and I ran more and more. I got 2.25 miles done in 30 minutes! My legs started feeling really heavy and painful toward the end. I haven't run in almost a yr since getting pregnant. Thank goodness I still have a base for it. I didn't really have any intent to run for awhile. I kept telling myself that I was too heav... Thu, 8 Jan 2015 11:25:35 EST 2015 I wrote a whole blog 2 days ago and somehow got busy as usual and didn't finish. Oh well it wasn't a very positive one. <BR> <BR> I keep thinking of my new years resolutions of the past. 2007 was my best one, that one jump started me to lose 130lbs. This yr of course I wanna lose the weight I put on with the munchkin. But really I wanna focus on the small things. Like actually measuring out what 2 tbsp on peanut looks like. Same for cream cheese. Those are both so easy to fib on. Figuring... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 13:22:31 EST Times up! Ok I had my 6 weeks of no exercise and semi food logging. Times up, now we are down to business! I weighed this morning and I was at 199.8. Hanging out under 200 lbs by the skin of my teeth. My highest pregnancy weight was 220. Yesterday I really wanted a new fitness hoodie to motivate me to feel pretty. I tried on all these hoodies and instead of feeling pretty I felt horrible about myself. Walked away with nothing but a negative self image. <BR> <BR> This was fall of last yr <BR> <img ... Mon, 15 Dec 2014 16:36:14 EST