CNEWELL2's SparkPeople Blog CNEWELL2's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community 6/18/2013 I have been away for awhile. Losing my job really messed me up. I am still unemployed, I do not qualify for unemployment (long story). I look every day for work, but every job I apply for about 1,000 other people apply too. I am trusting God to provide. That's all I have left. My health (exercise and eating right) have gone down the drain. <BR> BUT... <BR> I am now starting a 30-day challenge. I am going to take my measurements today and write them down. I will take them again in 30 d... Tue, 18 Jun 2013 09:31:26 EST Well... Some people get flowers on Valentine's day. <BR> I got fired. <em>51</em> <BR> Happy Valentine's day to me (not). <BR> So, I am at home today. <BR> I enjoyed getting my children up and ready for school. <BR> I am cleaning my house for Bible study tonight. <BR> I am not sitting in my pajamas, feeling sad and eating. <BR> Yeah me. <BR> I know God gave me that job and I prayed that when it was time for me to leave He would take it away. <BR> So I know this is God's plan. I am trusting Him for... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 09:57:14 EST A new plan? Ok - This is not working. <BR> I need a new plan. <BR> I used to work out during my lunch at work. I am not making it there. <BR> I used to arrive at work early to workout before work. Also not making it. <BR> I think it is time to figure out something new. <BR> <BR> Work is stressful right now which doesn't help. <BR> I need the de-stressing of some good exercise, but when? <BR> <BR> I need a new plan. <BR> <BR> Not sure what, when or how. Thu, 17 Jan 2013 07:49:02 EST 1/3/13 So far so good. <BR> Ok only 3 days into the new year, but every day is a fresh start and I have started each day as I had planned. <BR> I have been doing a little SparkPeople video in the morning. Starting small with 7-10 minutes, but it helps to start the day with a little movement. Hoping to do more throughout the day, but at least I have done something if I don't get to do anymore. <BR> I have also been reading my Bible in the morning, right after I do the video so I won't be sleepy. <B... Thu, 3 Jan 2013 07:09:40 EST 1/1/13 A New Year - A New Start <BR> I started last year so strong. I did so well for about the first 6 months. <BR> I really struggle with SparkPeople. <BR> The problem is I make a great friend, I adore someone, then they leave (often die). <BR> It breaks my heart. I get discouraged, then I stop coming around, stop working out. <BR> So I am going to try again. I may not reach out much, but I need to work on me. I need to get healthy. <BR> I know how to do this, I just need to do it. <BR> I ca... Tue, 1 Jan 2013 09:54:33 EST starting over...again This is frustrating. <BR> I know what is healthy and how to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Why don't I do it? <BR> Why do I let myself do what is unhealthy? Why do I stop exercising when I need it most? Why do I continue to fall back into what I know is unhealthy? <BR> <BR> Well, no more falling back. I am not going to dwell on how far I slipped back. I am not going to punish myself for failing. <BR> This is a fresh start and I will start from here and move forward. <BR> I currently ne... Mon, 24 Sep 2012 13:45:48 EST Here's to... The first class was last night. We don't have class tonight. <BR> Tomorrow class is on, then we should finish on Saturday. <BR> After all of that I will be a certified swim instructor for the YMCA. <BR> <em>237</em> <BR> I am still a little nervous about teaching. I am very shy/quiet. To be the leader is WAY out of my comfort zone. <BR> But how do we grow if we don't stretch ourselves? <BR> How do I know if I like it if I don't try it? <BR> So, here's to jumping in and trying something... Thu, 31 May 2012 07:05:05 EST Tired Gosh I do not like it when I wake up tired. <BR> May is so busy. Two family birthdays, Mother's Day, end of school activities, baby shower. <BR> I am not finding time to exercise. <BR> I know if I exercise I will not feel as tired and I will have the energy to keep up with all the business, but I'm too tired. <BR> Argh! <em>234</em> <BR> <BR> I WILL exercise during lunch today! I will not find any excuses. <BR> (Just thought if I wrote it down I would be more accountable to follow thro... Thu, 10 May 2012 07:26:19 EST Decision Made Well, I have thought it over. I have prayed about it. I have had several talks with my husband. I finally decided. <BR> At the end of this month I will be taking a class, then I will be a certified swim instructor. <BR> The YMCA where my husband works REALLY wants me to be a swim instructor, at least for the summer but perhaps, on a part time basis, all year long. <BR> This was not an easy decision to make as I am already working a full time job. I have 3 kids at home, high school, middle... Fri, 4 May 2012 15:13:12 EST Friday I'm glad the weekend is near. <BR> Wednesday really messed me up. <BR> Not on my healthy journey, but emotionally. <BR> I have continued to exercise - I think that is actually helping. <BR> I have not turned to food for comfort. <BR> I need to find a way to move past this. I am very good at "stuffing" my feelings and I am trying very hard not to do that this time. <BR> Just really struggling still. <BR> Someday, maybe not until I am in Heaven, this will all be behind me. <BR> <BR> On ... Fri, 27 Apr 2012 07:12:30 EST Thursday I had a very difficult day yesterday. <BR> I had to choose how to deal with it. <BR> I did not return to the way I used to deal with this same situation. <BR> I did NOT eat and swallow my feelings. <BR> I could feel the adrenaline, you know that old "fight or flight" thing. <BR> I was shaking. I did not turn to food to comfort me. <BR> I calmly finished my work day, then I packed up the kids and went to the gym. <BR> I worked out - did a 60 minute cardio class, then I lifted some weights.... Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:26:01 EST Wednesday Wednesday - my second work at home day of the week. <BR> I forgot to set my alarm clock last night, so "Thank you Jesus for waking me up on time". That is the only explanation I can think of. I just woke up when it was the right time, even though I am tired. <BR> I will be so glad when all of this medication issue is over. On this one, off this one, on another one, off another one. I am very thankful that the final result is off all of them. I only have to take vitamins (Calcium + Vit D... Wed, 25 Apr 2012 07:21:09 EST Tuesday Monday went well. I did not snack on anything unhealthy. I kept my self busy and did not make any bad choices. I allowed myself a small piece of chocolate after diner, but I did not eat much. I am proud, I did not fall into an old habit. <BR> Today is much easier. I pack my food for most of the day and leave the house. So I have already logged most of what I will eat today. I plan to work out during my lunch hour with the trainer at work, so i will get a good workout in too. <BR> <BR... Tue, 24 Apr 2012 07:28:25 EST Monday I'm working from home today - I love Mondays. <BR> I don't get to a gym on Mondays though. <BR> I've already done some calf raises (watching my kids get on the bus) and I plan to do a little cardio and some crunches when I break for lunch. <BR> My biggest struggle today will be food. I often eat when I am alone. So I am going to really focus on waiting until I am hungry and not letting myself eat because I am alone or bored. Think before I put food in my mouth - "Am I hungry, do I need thi... Mon, 23 Apr 2012 08:59:14 EST Sunday For one week I am going to try to blog something everyday. <BR> <BR> Today I took my 2 girls to Zumba class. It was our favorite instructor. Yay! <BR> <BR> Strength training Thursday was a tough class. My legs have been pretty sore. <BR> Today they are finally starting to feel better. <BR> I feel like I am walking like a regular human again. <BR> <BR> Church was good this morning too. <BR> So this was a good day. Sun, 22 Apr 2012 20:24:16 EST You didn't know I needed that I haven't been doing so good lately. I've made some bad food choices (I can tell when I do because I don't feel well when I don't eat well). I haven't been keeping up with my exercise very well either. I have noticed a small increase in my weight. I am pretty hard on myself so when I have a bad day or two I get pretty upset at me. <BR> Well, on Tuesdays and Thursdays at work, during my lunch hour, I work out with a personal trainer. One of the great perks where I work. Anyway there are ... Thu, 19 Apr 2012 14:00:27 EST yesterday Yesterday was not good. There were so many things that upset me. I had family frustrations, then work frustrations. Then I ended having to work late so I missed my regular cardio class. That was the last straw. I love my cardio class. <BR> It really got to me, I felt like the old cartoons when they go red and the steam comes out their ears. <BR> The old me would have turned to food. <BR> Instead we (kids and I ) packed our bags and went to the gym (where my husband works). It was too ... Thu, 15 Mar 2012 07:18:09 EST Confession I have not been doing well. <BR> I have not been exercising like I used to. <BR> I have not logged my food in long time. <BR> I have seen an increase on the scale as evidence. <BR> <BR> I don't know if this is due to spring allergies making me feel poorly. <BR> Or if this is an emotional plateau. <BR> Or if I was doing so well I just got burned out. <BR> Any way whatever it is I am not going to let it beat me. <BR> I feel rotten. I don't want to do anything, but today I will log my food... Thu, 8 Mar 2012 07:35:40 EST March March Goals <BR> I find, for me personally, if I put my goals in writing and they are not just in my head, I do better at accomplishing them. <BR> So here are my March goals. <BR> 1-Return to daily Bible reading <BR> 2-Lose 4 pounds in March <BR> 3-Compliment my family this month (they are exercising too) <BR> 4-Give more hugs (I am not a "touchy-feely" person and my family needs more hugs) <BR> So there are my March goals some don't look fitness-y but they are in my head. <BR> Thu, 1 Mar 2012 07:27:50 EST Weigh in - yesterday Yesterdays weigh in <BR> Well my weight was up, but I am not surprised. <BR> I have not been doing well at logging my food, but I don't think I have been eating too badly. <BR> I have not been doing my regular exercise. I need to get back into my routine. I got out of it during the holidays and I have not gotten back into the regular routine, and I started working from home two days a week. That has interrupted my routine as well. I usually exercise during my lunch at work. There isn't... Thu, 12 Jan 2012 08:07:54 EST 1/5/12-Fitness Test The Trainer at work is starting the year off by doing some fitness "testing". <BR> He is taking some measurements. Yes some with a tape measure, but also some without. <BR> For example, today he wanted to know what we can do. How many push ups can we do. Not in a minute, just how many proper push ups can we do before we can do no more. <BR> Tests like that. Now I am really worn out, but I also have a goal. <BR> I am going to do a pull up. I want to be able to do one. I never have act... Thu, 5 Jan 2012 14:04:38 EST 1/4/12-1st Weigh in of 2012 Well, I guess it's also my first blog of 2012. It's been awhile since I've written a blog. <BR> I have enjoyed Christmas and New Year's with my family. I had the week between the two holidays off work. It was lovely. Also very difficult to return to work. I really love being home with my family. I like being "mom". I know working is part of being mom right now. But I like the being home part too. <BR> Anyway I did pretty well over the holidays. Lost a total of 6 pounds in December. ... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 07:42:23 EST 12/21/11-Weigh-in Wednesday Well... <BR> That was not a nice week. <BR> My weight is up 1 and a half pounds. Probably due to the medication the doctor had me on. <BR> Glad he took me off that. I did not like the way that made me feel. <BR> I think I will wait until after Christmas for the next experiment. I think I need to have a little bit of adjustment from that one before I mess with the next one. <BR> Maybe the next thing will go the other way with my weight, I can hope right. <BR> <BR> Whatever, I just hope... Wed, 21 Dec 2011 10:21:07 EST Migraine update The dr visit wasn't too helpful. My hearing has improved slightly, but there isn't anymore the ear dr can do. He said keep working with the neurologist to stop the migraines. Once the migraines stop perhaps the noise will stop and my hearing will return to normal. <BR> Meanwhile, it was suggested to me, that the hormones the gyn put me on after my hysterectomy could be the cause of the migraines. So I contacted her. She suggested one week of no hormones at all. That frightened me. Li... Tue, 20 Dec 2011 08:32:14 EST 12/14/11-Weigh in Day Well here we are, another weigh in Wednesday. And almost the middle of December. <BR> Actually almost Christmas. This month is going to fast. It seems to go to fast to get done what needs to get done. Christmas is supposed to be fun and family, why do we allow it to be so stressful. Why do we let the commercialism become what it is about. Why does it have to be presents and cards and stress? Why can't it be family and togetherness and a cup of tea by the fire? I guess if I had all of ... Wed, 14 Dec 2011 07:56:38 EST 1st December Weigh in Whew! What a week! <BR> My weight was down. I am glad, but my head is not good. <BR> I have an appointment on Monday with a specialist. My regular neurologist said he cannot do anything more to help my headaches. I hope the specialist has some ideas how to help. I don't know how much longer I can live with this. <BR> I am trying to ignore it and enjoy the season. Every day it gets harder and harder. So I am praying that on Monday the specialist is a "miracle man" and he can find and ... Wed, 7 Dec 2011 10:19:53 EST December Goals I just wanted to write down my goals for December. <BR> I needed concrete plans for when Christmas parties, vacations, events come along I already have a plan in place. If I write them down and they are seen publicly it is more likely I will stick to them. <BR> <BR> 1-Exercise at least 5 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes even if it is on the Wii (If I am at work I work out at lunch, if I am at home I work out at home) <BR> <BR> 2-drink at least 64 ounces of water a day - choose wate... Thu, 1 Dec 2011 07:57:30 EST Final November Weigh in Wednesday Well, I lost almost 2.4 pounds in November, Not quite my goal, but not bad either. <BR> My 5 goals for the month were <BR> 1-consistent exercise. I did very well until Thanksgiving week. I did not keep up while off my normal schedule, but I am right back to it now. I know I need to make concrete plans for Christmas when my schedule will be irregular. <BR> 2-watch food. I did pretty good. I went under my daily calories a few times though. But I started logging everything I eat again ev... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 10:54:46 EST 11/23/11 Weneday weign in day <BR> Gained 1/2 a pound. <BR> Stress is heavy that's all. <BR> Been a rough week. <BR> But today is not last week. I shall not dwell on that. <BR> Today is a new day. <BR> Today I shall hold my head up. <BR> I will do what I can and leave the rest for another day. <BR> Whatever does not get done can wait. <BR> I will breathe and relax... <BR> The moon sure was pretty on my way into work this morning and I am glad I got to see it <BR> . <em>31</em> Wed, 23 Nov 2011 07:17:23 EST 11/16/11 Another weigh in Wednesday <BR> Not a bad one. <BR> Down a little <BR> Can't complain. <BR> Every little bit is good. <BR> My Saturday Headache did not turn into a migraine Praise the Lord. <BR> It was quite a headache though. I was thankful that it was a relaxing weekend and we didn't have a bunch of running around to do. <BR> Wed, 16 Nov 2011 08:10:47 EST Happy Closet Moment Had a spare moment this morning getting ready for work. Went to the back of the closet, you know the part where you store the off season and wrong size clothes. Pulled out a pair of pants I wore before the hysterectomy that made me gain 30 pounds. Thought I would see how I was doing. You know how far I had left to go. I had to make room in the "I can wear these" part of my closet. Because those pants fit me just nice. <BR> <BR> <em>30</em> Thu, 10 Nov 2011 07:09:29 EST Wednesday November 9 Here we are at another weigh in day. <BR> The scale was kind today. Weight was lost. <BR> I have left the 150's and I hope to never return again. I hope I have learned enough this time that the scale never says that kind of number again. <BR> <BR> Recap of the week past. Maybe not. Living in the past is not wise. Learning from the past is good though. <BR> So what can I learn from this past week? <BR> I'm glad its in the past. <BR> It was rough. Too much going on. <BR> I think I let... Wed, 9 Nov 2011 10:27:28 EST Weekly weigh in What!?! <BR> Ok remember goal #4 <BR> I know my weight fluctuates - I know it can even changes up to 2 pounds within one day. <BR> I will not let this number change my outlook on this day. <BR> I did some good exercise yesterday. I did my strength training even though the personal trainer was absent. He sent me the routine via email so I did it, alone. No one else turned up for the class. <BR> I went home and took my two youngest kids (8 and 11) for a walk. They had their homework don... Wed, 2 Nov 2011 07:15:49 EST November Goals Goals for November <BR> 1-consistent exercise <BR> 2-watch food intake (portion sizes and make sure I eat enough) <BR> 3-reach out - encourage others and let others encourage me <BR> 4-lose 5 pounds - but don't be so focused on pounds that I beat myself up for weight fluctuations <BR> 5-enjoy the journey - don't be so focused on the long term goal that I miss today <BR> <BR> Tue, 1 Nov 2011 07:46:20 EST Lessons learned in the end of October 2011 Well, I didn't hit my goal weight for October, but I did learn some good lessons in October and I made some new friends. <BR> <BR> I stepped out of my comfort zone and received some really needed support. I was/am wonderfully surprised that people out in cyber land are so very supportive of me. I have needed that support for so long and have been looking for that support and it was here all along. I just needed to reach out. <BR> Thank you to all you wonderful lovely people. I am reach... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 07:13:29 EST Trying something new Ok people - here I am <BR> I am trying something new. <BR> I am trying to be more transparent. I have updated my Spark page. But a little more of "me" on my page. I have been on Spark People for a couple years and have never really done more than just logged fitness minutes and kept track of my food now and then. I have joined a team here and there, but then dropped out. Never really reached out to anyone, never really posted much. I've lost weight. I've done ok. I've done it alone t... Fri, 28 Oct 2011 08:49:24 EST 10/26/11 Weigh in day <BR> Weight is up <BR> Sad day <BR> Bad week <BR> 5 days to the end of the month <BR> 5 days to turn it around <BR> not possible <BR> Feeling hopeless <BR> letting my team down <BR> need to do better <BR> Blue Wednesday Wed, 26 Oct 2011 06:50:58 EST 10/19/11 Wednesday = weigh in day <BR> Weight is down a little. Not bad for day 11 with a migraine. ok the migraine is about 60% better, but still. <BR> I am on a team for October and we are trying to challenge/encourage one another. They are an awesome team for that. They are so encouraging even when I flop and can't seem to keep on they are right there cheering me on. Yay team! <BR> Anyway, I feel I am doing pretty ok. My weight is going down even if it is slow. I measured my waste this mor... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 10:21:14 EST Wednesday Weigh in day Weight is up. Yuck. <BR> Ok time to get rid of this dumb migraine and get back on track. <BR> I get to call my migraines dumb because they are not your regular migraines. People hear the word migraine and have an idea of what they think a migraine should be. Not me. I do not get typical migraines. I get weird migraines. But according to the neurologist this is migraine. I just hope this one does not last 4 weeks like the last one. <BR> I am trying to ignore it, but I feel like I am ... Wed, 12 Oct 2011 07:21:32 EST Oct 5 Weigh in day Wednesday weigh in day <BR> Weight is down a bit <BR> That's good <BR> Every bit off is a bit closer to the goal. <BR> I seem to be a bit discouraged though. I can't quite put my finger on the cause. I have been exercising, I have been drinking my water, I have been getting my sleep. I'm not sure why I seem to have the blues a bit. <BR> For now I will just push it aside and ignore it. I will keep on doing what I am doing and working towards my goals. Maybe this "slump" will pass on its... Wed, 5 Oct 2011 07:30:42 EST Friday What a week. <BR> I still have a headache that started Sunday. I have tried to keep working and exercising but it has been tough. I missed one regularly scheduled workout and did some lighter ones. <BR> This has caused a slight weight gain :( <BR> Last week the doctor said the hormone replacement therapy WILL make it a lot harder to lose weight. :( <BR> I am trying to think ahead to how next week will be better, the changes I need to make, but right now I am feel pretty down. <BR> <BR> Fri, 22 Jul 2011 07:14:37 EST July 19 I am tired of this headache. I haven't had one like this in over a year. <BR> I wish I was able to go to bed until it was gone. <BR> Tried letting the hot water in the shower run on my neck and shoulders this morning after a light workout. Maybe that will help turn this around. <BR> Headaches stink!! Tue, 19 Jul 2011 07:10:24 EST June 29 Feeling pretty discouraged and down today. <BR> I try so hard. I work out so hard. <BR> The numbers on the scale just won't go down. <BR> I'm trying to remember what I did before. Why was it so much easier last time? <BR> <BR> Is it possible that the hormone replacement is making it harder? <BR> <BR> Good thing I have an appointment with the dr next month. I hope she can help. <BR> <BR> <em>39</em> Wed, 29 Jun 2011 07:17:11 EST June 22 Wednesday <BR> <BR> This will be a good day. <BR> I will watch what I do <BR> I will make healthy choices <BR> <BR> Food is not a reward nor is it my enemy <BR> Food is fuel for my life and I will not let it be anything else <BR> <BR> Exercise is not a punishment <BR> Exercise is fun and necessary <BR> I will choose to exercise <BR> <BR> Today will be a good day <BR> <BR> Wed, 22 Jun 2011 06:59:47 EST Discouraged day 2 Ok I know I can't run a marathon by training for one week. I did hope that I would have lost a little weight. NO! I gained. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> I am trying really hard to not quit right now, <BR> I did work towards all the other goals. I did do week one of the rookie running program. <BR> I did work out twice a day 4 times. I did work on my arms and abs. <BR> I just gained weight. <BR> Why does this one factor always get me so down? <BR> I wish I could see the results of the hard... Fri, 1 Apr 2011 07:22:29 EST READY!! I bought running shoes over the weekend and I am ready to go. <BR> I want to run, I am ready to run, watch out knees! <BR> I wanted to get up early and run before work. That didn't happen. Way too tired to get out of bed. <BR> Made it to work and I will run at lunch. Tomorrow I will workout before work. <BR> I WILL! <BR> <BR> Mon, 28 Mar 2011 07:05:27 EST New Goals Here it is. <BR> A new set of goals. <BR> 6 months from today is my wedding anniversary. <BR> In 6 months I want to <BR> 1) lose 30 pounds. That's do-able. <BR> 2) I want flat(er) abs. <BR> 3) I want ...arms. Not like a serious body builder, but I want muscular arms. <BR> <BR> Now steps I need to take to accomplish these goals. <BR> 1) 3 days a week do 2 workouts <BR> 2) 5 days a week do at least one workout <BR> 3) watch calories-especially on weekends <BR> 4) Post visual reminders/encour... Thu, 24 Mar 2011 09:04:53 EST Bad News/Good News Bad News: This was a rough week. I was not able to get in any formal exercise. Allergies are hitting really hard this year. <BR> Good News: I lost almost one pound! <BR> <BR> Fri, 18 Mar 2011 07:30:04 EST October 15 Wow. Weighed in today - gained a pound. Really rough week. Feeling very discouraged. <BR> <BR> I've been watching what I eat, exercising. <BR> Not sure how to get out of this slump. <BR> <BR> Bummed. Fri, 15 Oct 2010 09:26:52 EST August 19, 2010 Baby steps. <BR> Still feeling pretty run down each day. <BR> Today I am sitting at my desk at work on my fitness ball. <BR> Trying to strengthen my core back up. <BR> My legs ache by night and my back still gets tired. <BR> Hoping sitting on the ball will help build up some strength. <BR> Still haven't gotten back to exercising. <BR> Hoping that I can late this month. Thu, 19 Aug 2010 10:17:02 EST