CINDYHOUGHTON's SparkPeople Blog CINDYHOUGHTON's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community What an Adventure My son set sail from Hong Kong for Vietnam a couple of days ago. He will be teaching aboard the Sorlandet, a tall ship that in his words looks like a pirate ship. So many emotions as we parted ways a couple of weeks ago for many reasons. I will not see him again for ten months. I decided to give myself a goal while he is gone. I have struggled to be consistent enough to see decent results and recently put back on 15 pounds. Because I have lost weight and kept it off for many years, I know how... Fri, 19 Aug 2016 21:12:02 EST Fight to Win As I sit here I remember the time when I lost five pounds on my own and said, " I can do this." That brought me to Sparkpeople. I lost 27 pounds in about 3 or 4 months. After awhile I decided to "take a break " and not work so hard at it and thus the beginning of my downfall. Several years later, now, my pants begin to not button and I look for the bigger sizes in my closet. How did this happen? <BR> I work with addicts and alcoholics and see the parallels so clearly. When an addict quits at... Sat, 7 May 2016 11:31:58 EST Lower the Threshold I started this journey when I hit my no no weight. I vowed I would never get to 200 labs. To me that was the weight that was just too disgusting for a woman. So when I reached 199 I decided I had to do something. I was encouraged when I lost 5 pounds without too much pain. That is when I found sparkpeople. I lost 27 pounds and got complacent thinking I had it all under control and could back off my intensity. I gained some of the weight back, but was still okay with it. <BR> Then my scale ... Sun, 17 Apr 2016 09:26:22 EST Broken Family I called my brother for his birthday a day late yesterday. I know how much I enjoy getting cards and visiting with family on my birthday and the holidays. He said I was the only one of three siblings that had bothered to call. That made me really sad. Years ago our oldest sister made a comment to me about how communication goes both ways. Knowing our conversations had been sparse, I began to track and see if I had been negligent. I called one holiday and waited for her to call the next. I wai... Sat, 20 Feb 2016 09:36:03 EST Holding my Own I lost 15lbs. After leaving my present job about nine months ago. There were so many things that were not good about the job I left to. Now I am working with a different bunch of ladies, but man do they like to eat. Once a week we go out to eat together and my choices are few so I eat too much and behave the rest of the week, somewhat. They will bring doughnuts a couple of times a week or order pizza. I have never been one for self control and if I see it or smell it I will succumb. I am n... Sat, 21 Nov 2015 08:59:10 EST The New Job I have been at the new job for almost a week now. It is so much easier on my body and less stress. I am working with the same people I have worked with for ten years but with a new position. My brief time away from them makes me appreciate it more too I think. I have my own office now and am back with my passion. It is a good feeling Wed, 7 Oct 2015 20:20:14 EST New Job Come the first of the month I will be starting a new job, which is really kinda my old job. I have not been a person of confidence much of my life. I have always been excited that anyone would even want me to work for them and, can I say, surprised. My past has also produced some passion in me. I have suffered and that has produced some compassion in me. That also led me to my old job where I stayed for almost ten years. When it became time to leave seven months ago, it was a sad time for me... Tue, 15 Sep 2015 23:29:47 EST Marks to Motivate As I have begun to lose weight I see the damage I have done to my body by overeating. I have found stretch marks in places I had no idea that existed. I have seen these marks on other overweight people, but never imagined I was in the same class. I also know that these will be constant reminders of my lack of discipline. I hope that they will be motivators never to go there again. As a skinny high school kid I never imagined I'd ever be overweight. With the first of my three kids I gained 50 ... Thu, 23 Jul 2015 11:43:58 EST Go For Two I wonder if we could have everything we say how it would change what comes out of our mouth. I'm not necessarily saying , Oh I'm going to get a million dollars today kind of talk. If we would pay attention to the negative things we say, I think we might be more likely to change to a more positive route of communication. You can tell what you really believe by listening to your spoken words. I challenge you to make an effort to remove all negative comments for one day, then go for two. Wed, 8 Jul 2015 10:26:10 EST Fear Not Don't be afraid <BR> 1. You have been redeemed <BR> 2. You are chosen <BR> 3. God is with you <BR> 4. God is your light and salvation <BR> 5. Trust in God <BR> 6. The Lord is your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared. <BR> 7. God is with you and will rescue you <BR> 8. You are worth more than a sparrow whose needs are met. <BR> 9. Believe <BR> 10. The Lord is your helper. <BR> 11. God will fight for you <BR> 12. He is your shield <BR> 13. He goes before you and mar... Thu, 2 Jul 2015 16:24:14 EST Changing Beliefs I believe many things that are not true. The thoughts have become so comfortable that I accept them as truth. But just because I believe it doesn't make it true. For a long time I believed losing weight was hard... because I never tried, because someone said it was. Then when I did start, it was hard because I wanted it to be hard to give credence to my own lack of discipline. I have many examples of people who were able to make it. Yet to make myself feel better I made excuses. I wanted to ... Fri, 12 Jun 2015 10:38:43 EST Significance I used to blog regularly, but now it seems I rarely have the time to do so. I am almost back down to 167. My tracker says I am, but I leave it there as a motivator. This weight is significant for me in a number of ways and I just realized it this morning. It is both my halfway point and the beginning point. It marks the beginning of my healthy weight, not the overweight mark. It is also halfway to my weight loss goal. That's 30 pounds lost from where I began my journey. I'm not sure I ev... Tue, 9 Jun 2015 08:44:14 EST I Think I Can, I Think I Can I have lost 12 pounds since starting my new job almost 3 months ago. Still liking the job. <BR> Got something on my mind this morning. By our thoughts we CAN change our future and that of those we love. We will think in the direction of our faith, like it or not. Look at the direction you are going right now. Do you like it? Either way take a serious look at your thought life concerning key areas. Sometimes the things we believe are because we have seen them play out time and again in the ... Tue, 2 Jun 2015 08:28:36 EST Heavy Heart Last night we got news that a 26 year old had shot herself on her father's birthday. He too committed suicide. Both also had substance abuse issues. Hers was mostly self medication due to severe pain related to disease. She was an amazing young girl whose smile would light up a room. She was so loving and kind a truly special person of rare quality.This is the second young mother I knew this year. What can we do to recognize someone else's pain? Tell those you love frequently how much they ar... Mon, 11 May 2015 09:29:28 EST Making It Happen I have struggled getting my exercise in with my new job. I have had to totally change my morning routine. I have not exercised because I just didn't feel like it and had a pocket full of reasons why it was okay. I heard a quote years ago, but don't remember who made it. It said every successful person could have made all the same excuses that the unsuccessful man did, but chose not to. So I started looking for ways to make it possible. I started earlier, without getting up any earlier. This w... Thu, 16 Apr 2015 11:41:14 EST Crazy Times I went to two funerals last week for three people. This week I had to drive eight hours in two days to take my husband to have cataract surgery. The surgery was a byproduct of his detached retina last summer. One year after the original incident he is hoping to have his eyesight back. He is very frustrated. While in Albuquerque we caused an accident by being a bit too far out in traffic when stopped. Today I am testifying in court for an ex-client at my old job. She is hoping to retain cust... Thu, 9 Apr 2015 08:55:39 EST Sad Day Yesterday I went to a double funeral. It was for two boys, twins, that I drove on my school bus. I drove their brothers too. It was a rough part of town. I was first drawn to their older brother. He was soft spoken and never gave me any problems. He was very polite saying, Yes ma'am' and smiling. then I noticed gang members waiting for him in the latter years when he got off the bus. It broke my heart. Then, he was arrested for murder. I went to his trial and visited him in jail beforehan... Tue, 31 Mar 2015 09:42:37 EST A Broken Break I have lost 8 pounds at my new job. I can only eat on my breaks. It has provided a discipline I did not have on my own. Kinda sad actually, but I am excited to be finally making progress. It has given me a new sense of motivation to remember that eating isn't the most important thing in life. I'm not the only one to fall off the wagon for a while. I got a note from a long time Spark friend, saying she had put back on a bunch of weight. I was frustrated at my lack of motivation and inab... Tue, 17 Mar 2015 10:14:09 EST Old, New, Old Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with an ex-coworker who will be the boss of my now ex-boss. Are you lost yet? They would love to have me come back and work with them some day. I used to work in the broken mental health field. I got tired of transition after transition and not knowing if I would have a job every six months. I finally quit a week ago. My boss treated me well as far as giving me the days off I ever wanted. That will be hard to replace. Otherwise she was very negative as... Mon, 9 Mar 2015 17:53:19 EST Long Month Wow have I had a busy month! It became time to leave my beloved job of the last ten years and in preparation for this I was working two jobs until last Saturday. When I left I bawled like a baby. My heart will always be soft for addicts and alcoholics. I just can't take the instability of mental health across this nation and in my job. Every year at least once we didn't know if we would have a job to go to or what it would look like. It wears on you after the third time in two years. <BR> ... Wed, 4 Mar 2015 22:18:11 EST What A Week! Wow! I worked 72 hours between my two jobs last week. I got a new job partly because of the instability of my old job. I loved my old job, too, so it is so sad to say good bye. One of the benefits of the new job os that it gives me less time to eat and I am more successful at losing some weight. I am having to figure out what will sustain me through the long breaks. A new challenge for me for sure. The hard thing is I really haven't had the tome to exercise. I will have to settle in to ... Wed, 11 Feb 2015 11:24:31 EST Reaping the Benefits We will reap what we sow. So many times we think this only means the good things, but it also means the less than good things. If I sow bad habits then that is what I will have and the contrary is also true. If I use my mouth for bad like judgment, lies and tearing down others then why should I expect respect and success! I f I have nothing but good to say about others and choose to bless them at every turn, then that is what will come my way. The same is true of weight loss. If I continu... Sat, 31 Jan 2015 10:42:53 EST Full is No Longer Stuffed I put on all my weight by eating continually to the point of being stuffed. Then it became a habit and I no longer knew what true full was. I learned here what it was again. Then, when I didn't have a computer, reverted to the stuffed mentality and put several pounds back on. I am relearning that I don't have to feel stuffed to be truly satisfied. That's a good feeling, because I am once again losing weight. I can do this and I am. That, too, is a god feeling. Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:43:49 EST A Tale of Two Friendships What is the value of a friendship? I have one friend that I have known for many years. I always felt I pursued the relationship the hardest, yet still we were good friends. I have another friend that I used to work with who has been the pursuer, for which I am grateful. Do I cherish one over the other? No not really. The thing is, my life has changed as did that of the first friend and we rarely see each other. Our lives revolved around our children who have since married and one has moved ... Sat, 24 Jan 2015 11:21:41 EST So Easily Deceived I saw a program on PBS last night about when War of the Worlds first was broadcast. I found it fascinating that fear made people think they smelled smoke and heard things and saw things that their minds wanted them to experience due to what they believed. What they believed was a lie controlled by fear. WOW! So what do I believe that is making me think things that are not true? This explains how easy it is to be deceived. There is only one truth, in my opinion, and that is the Word of Go... Wed, 21 Jan 2015 13:06:24 EST Change is Coming! I continue to organize my house. It's not cleaning my house, however, my house appears cleaner as a result. Bit by bit I am getting rid of multiple items or items I no longer use. This includes clothing and kitchen items. It has been fun to see what it happening. My attitude is also improving because my whole life feels less cluttered. I am hoping we build our new house this year and I do not want a lot of junk to move or a lot of stuff to get rid of all at once. I can make huge changes ... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 14:09:19 EST Blessing It is so easy to return criticism for criticism and grumpiness for grumpiness. A verse I read in the Bible while in church yesterday has continued to run in my mind. I am trying to work on removing complaining from my life this year. It is much harder than I thought, but I am not complaining lol! I knew I had a problem and am now becoming so painfully aware just how bad it is. Hence the reason this verse hits me so hard. I believe it is in 1Peter 3. It is talking about not returning insul... Mon, 19 Jan 2015 12:29:47 EST The First Step I am in a great mood today. I head back to work tonight. It is a short week for me. Everyone is trying to use up their PTO before the transition in March. I am trying to embrace change. I have had so much of it over the last two years. I know I cannot change for the better if I stay the same. It goes back to the insanity thing you know. This whole thing may result in a new job for me, something I am not excited about because I have so loved my job for the last ten years. It is like a frien... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 09:43:28 EST Week Done It has been a rough week. Yet I am doing well. Would have liked to have been a bit more productive. Got a new tablet so I should have no excuses for being on here. Was delivered to the house across the street. We weren't sure if we would even get it. Celebrated 31years being married to my husband. He was out of town. We will spend a meal with our son next week. Will write more later. Thu, 15 Jan 2015 23:57:56 EST Leaving My Love Behind Well at work we are going through the third transition in two years. What makes this one different is that it will likely end in me no longer having a job. The company talking over doesn't have credentials for substance abuse, which means they can't run a residential drug and alcohol center. I have loved my job for the last ten years. The last time,just six months ago, we had to discharge clients due to flooding of our facility. The girls cried and it was so traumatic. They had been th... Wed, 14 Jan 2015 10:03:59 EST Wanting. Control I realize that not all that my parents taught me was good or right. I have come to grips with some of it. I am sure there will be more to deal with in the future. My dad's side of the family was very jugemental. There were, what was to them, good reasons for it. When that hurt me and my family deeply and I was faced with my own judgement, I chose to sever it once and for all. I think my dad vowed to change some things in his life and swung the exact opposite side of the pendulum. I have had ... Tue, 13 Jan 2015 13:48:36 EST Bye Bye Junkie! I'm having a good time organizing my life. I have never been an organized person. It always seemed like so much work. In the process I am de cluttering my house which is so necessary. We have our house, my in-laws house and my parents house all stuffed in our house. There wasn't enough room to begin with and I am sick of it. It's amazing what one small thing can do to make it seem so manageable. Just getting rid of old shoes reduced the mess on the floor of the closet. Organizing my pots a... Fri, 9 Jan 2015 12:04:04 EST Aha!!! Wow! I just figured out part of why I have trouble losing weight or maintaining it without Sparkpeople. I have a distorted notion of what full is. I put on weight partly because I stuffed myself several days in a row so that my body thought it was the new normal. So now I must retrain my brain with tracking so I know what true full is. I do hope that I can regain this. It's amazing what an aha moment can look like. I love tracking even more now! Thu, 8 Jan 2015 10:54:32 EST That's What Gives Me Hope I have to laugh at all the ways people try to lose weight. They put the top choices on the CBS morning show. Gayle said to just put the fork down! That is the key. Just consume fewer calories! When I track my calories, I am amazed that I can see that I have been consuming twice the number I should be. it is so easy to do. I keep thinking I can do it some other way or deny that I am screwing up. Once again I am seeing what full truly looks like. I have equated being stuffed with being ... Wed, 7 Jan 2015 10:25:53 EST I'm Not Alone! I know this will sound kinda silly given this website, but I found three people who suffer as I do last night. I attend Celebrate Recovery every Monday night. It is not just for those who suffer with alcohol and drug addictions. Three of us in my group are suffering with weight loss problems. On top of that we all suffer from organization troubles. Really makes me wonder about the article I read here a couple of days ago about how my problem might not just be weight, but organization. On... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 11:01:04 EST One Day, Thought, Decision at a Time! I was amazed at how my first day of organizing went. Got rid of old tennis shoes that I did not need. Closet looks great now! I am planning what small project to do today. Just like my lifestyle changes in my eating, I can make small lifestyle changes to make my house more liveable. I am excited! If in some small way it will help in other parts of my life I am ready. I need change. I know it will make a difference. I am healthier since coming here, I just need to keep the momentum goin... Mon, 5 Jan 2015 12:17:23 EST Weight Loss Organization I read a spark article today that opened my eyes a bit. I have struggled for a lifetime to become better organized. I thought routine was the answer to my success, and in a way it is. But the basis of my success is more likely organization! I have a messy house. There I admitted it! I keep thinking when I get my new house it will magically take care of itself. This is what they call denial. I need to figure out how I can become better organized and schedule organization in, just like I... Sat, 3 Jan 2015 14:25:47 EST New Year Motivation. I know I can do this. I have gone backwards in the last year due to not having a computer to track with. I am back to having one again so I am hoping my motivation will return. It is frustrating to lose ground, but I have not forgotten the compliments. I know when. I track I have no problem losing the weight. So here's to new motivation and applying the wisdom I have gained here. I do hope that you all find the motivation you. Need to keep making one good decision after another! I am also... Thu, 1 Jan 2015 14:40:15 EST Consistency What I need is a little consistency. My hubby is buying me my own tablet or an I pad for Christmas. Any suggestions or likes and dislikes on a particular one.? It will help me to be more consistent here, thus making it to where I have fewer excuses. I need to use the trackers and don't always have access to his iPad. I need to get serious about my weight loss again. It all came from thinking I could do it on my own. I have proved to myself so many times that I cannot. This next year I do ... Tue, 23 Dec 2014 11:04:02 EST Change My Best Friend Well,hubby back from the hunt. Didn't see anything, may go out again later during the holidays. I got caught up on sleep while he was gone. My son will be home on Tuesday. I sure do miss him and rarely get to see him any more. You can never see how your life will turn out. If we could, we might not want to go where it takes us. I know I would have thought long and hard about it, and probably would have refused what lay ahead for me. But I am happy with where I am for the most part. Adver... Wed, 17 Dec 2014 11:22:08 EST My Quest The joy and freedom we desire is between our ears and In our hearts.We have all been hurt by something I life. It's what we do with that hurt that determines everything else. If we are honest, many of us will say that we eat because of pain more than just because we need the fuel. Discovering what that hurt is will determine the key. Perhaps we need to forgive someone,forgive ourselves.It has been said that stress makes us sick. At the heart of stress is hurt of one sort or another. At the... Sun, 14 Dec 2014 14:41:30 EST Happy! This has been a good week. Got in five days of exercise and watched my weight and calorie intake. I Am enjoying my new kitty and he is adjusting to the dogs. It is good to be back on here and doing what I know I need to to reach the goals I want to reach. It's not the big things that matter but all the little ones. I am happy. There is little I could wish for at this point. Hope you can get to this same point one decision at a time. Sat, 13 Dec 2014 11:09:14 EST Not Just Routine! Well, I have found how important routine is to my well being and feelings of accomplishment. When I get out of my routine, my life falls apart. Routine can be healing. If I don't know where to start a sense of normality can be found just in establishing a routine. I don't have to think about what comes next. Even my animals are happier with routine. They get upset when my routine is disrupted. I will be starting my exercise I a few minutes. I am up to a pretty regular four days a week. I... Fri, 12 Dec 2014 11:37:16 EST Tired No one slept well last night. I think the dogs knew something was up when my hubby started packing to go hunting. I had to work all day after working to midnight last night. No time for my regular schedule but II will get to go to bed early tonight. The animals are showing how much they missed me today :). My husband is going hunting oryx for the next. Couple of days. That means I get to sleep in!!! Back to normal tomorrow. Thu, 11 Dec 2014 18:24:30 EST Back Well it has been. A while. My husband has left me the IPad so I can get back on here a bit more regularly. I have been battling. I have a new point I will not pass with my weight, ten pounds less than my original. I have been mentally adding up my calories and am doing better. I have also realized that I am a social eater. If others are eating around me, I will also eat. I think it is part in due to not wanting to offend them. People pleasing has been a major downfall. I was proud of m... Wed, 10 Dec 2014 10:48:58 EST Update and a Dog Story Wow! I am amazed at how much I have forgotten not being able to get on here for so long. I am still without a computer and am using my husband's . I have not done well on my weight since losing you. I Am hoping maybe Christmas will help with that &#128522; It is so hard to track on my own but I see how valuable this has been to me. Work is also really hard on my weight and I never realized this before. So much work to do and I miss my tools. <BR> My job has changed drastically as well... Thu, 6 Nov 2014 10:59:05 EST A Down Dog and a Down Computer Wow! It has been six weeks of unreliable computer usage. I haven't missed it that much and have been mentally counting my calories daily. I am down thirteen pounds since the first of the year. This is the best I have ever done without Sparkpeople counting for me. Out of sight has always been out of mind for me. If I didn't count the calories, then they must not be there right???? That is why I have always gained weight when I didn't track. I am coming to grips with how vital tracking r... Sat, 12 Apr 2014 11:35:01 EST Powerful I want to e a powerful person. I do not want to give my power away to anyone else and miss becoming who I was created to be. I am proud of myself. I do not any more allow others to make me feel bad about who I am in any imagined way. If someone cusses at me in an attempt to bring me down, I stand up for myself and show them how small indeed they are by thinking they can do that. If I am intimidated by threats, no matter how real I will let them know I am not intimidated and will raise my ... Fri, 28 Feb 2014 11:24:46 EST A Legacy to Leave Well I gave hubby my cold and it has thrown me off for a second week. He stayed home longer than normal and I did not get my exercise in. I will not exercise in front of anyone and had to get my day started with my bath. I am really going to have to work around him on Saturday as well to get it in for my four days. I am not keeping to tracking as well this week either. If I can lose another pound in the next couple of days I will be happier. It's amazing to me how much loss of discipline... Thu, 27 Feb 2014 11:43:05 EST Not a Good Week :( I have been fighting with a cold all week. Though not a terribly uncomfortable one, it has derailed my streak. I have more demands put on me at work and have been beset by some negative influences. I am just grumpy and hoping next week goes by quickly so I can get back to my better normal life. I have made excuses that didn't need to be made, but were nonetheless. Just not very positive right now so I will keep it short. Thu, 13 Feb 2014 11:53:02 EST