CHRISTIE6625's SparkPeople Blog CHRISTIE6625's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community How to boost my self esteem 1) run three times a week, it makes me feel strong and powerful <BR> 2) spend times with my favorite girlfriends, they remind me to be nice to myself <BR> 3) work on creative projects <BR> 4) loose 30 pounds then have large fibroid removed so I can wear pants again <BR> 5) take swing lessons <BR> 6) plan more activities that interest <BR> 7) when my husband invites me out go if I want to and not to keep an eye on him <BR> Mon, 21 Apr 2014 02:36:28 EST another day I wrote a blog last night and was pleased to find really good solid advice as a comment, I wasn't even expecting any comment. I've had breakfast with the assorted vitamins and I'm not hungry but I would like to eat. I decided to write here instead of eating. My abdomen is sore and achey from eating too much last night. I didn't binge or eat anymore than anyone else at the table last night, it's just that lately if I eat more than a certain amount I get very tender for a day or two. I sus... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 14:22:11 EST negativity It's bedtime and at bedtime I often have lots of thoughts about my weight and I think it will be helpful to write this down. Maybe be more helpful than intensive therapy. My husband is great except that he has a history of infidelity. He was ready to end his marriage when he had a tulmultuous affair with a co-worker. That realtionship was exciting and agonizing, it didn't work out. The divorce went though. When we met I was dating someone long distance, and he was dating someone. We ho... Sun, 20 Apr 2014 02:56:28 EST still on plateau I guess it wouldn't be a plateau if it was just a few days. 2 1/2 weeks now with no change in weight. UGH. Today my stomach is grumbling loud. My mind is saying "EAT EVERYTHING" I'm focusing on goal to keep pushing my self with couch to 5K, and to loose 12 more pounds by burning man. Visualizing myself in my cute tutu and blink bunny lights dancing and feeling good on the playa is what keeps me going. I can do it, I keep telling myself. Wed, 30 May 2012 16:26:19 EST Slowly but surely I'm not loosing weight quickly at this point but totally on track. Goal is to loose 11 pounds over next 12 weeks. <BR> <BR> This week I get our first CSA organic produce delivery which means I will be cooking again. We're a bit sick of lean cuisine, although it served it's purpose of portion control. Last night I made roasted asparagus, baked sweet potatoes, and egg and feta custard. No butter! There was some olive oil on the asparagus but not much. <BR> <BR> I'm getting ready to do ... Mon, 28 May 2012 14:24:40 EST plateau? The past week I had several days in which I didn't count calories because I went out to restaurants where calorie counts are not available. I didn't go crazy but I did have a hamburger Monday for a girls happy hour. I had my favorite butternut squash quesadilla Thursday for another girls happy hour. I had chips and snacks and 4 beers Sunday at a BBQ at my house. The good news is I didn't gain any weight that week. Of course I didn't loose any either. I've been good at organizing events ... Wed, 23 May 2012 13:23:59 EST loving couch to 5k The weight is really coming off faster now that I've been doing couch to 5k. It's sort of a modified version, I'm listening to pod runner and I thought that the intervals weren't matching up to the list on the couch to 5k site. Last night I listened through a week three podcast and confirmed my suspicions. I can jog for 4 minutes straight now, unbelievable. Thu, 10 May 2012 16:52:55 EST unexplained weight loss is not a good thing Yesterday I finished couch to 5K week 2 day 3. Had to do it at an indoor track because of the miserable weather. Super proud that I didn't let the weather be an excuse. I'd never been to this indoor track and I actually sat in the car for about 5 minutes because silly me was anxious about going in to a place I'd never been before. I negotiated with myself, that it would be ok to do the run today with beautiful weather but I at least had to go in to the rec center and get my membership car... Sat, 5 May 2012 12:56:27 EST woo hoo couch to 5k day one killed! Yup made C25K day one my, female dog! When the podcast ended I jogged a little more. So excited today. Plus the scale down one more pound. Wed, 25 Apr 2012 21:20:45 EST Couch 2 5k I had no excuses and went out and did day one of C25K. It was not as easy as I thought it would be in fact it was hard and to be honest I did not jog that last 2-3 intervals. It made me pretty irritated with myself for letting my body go this far out of shape. I'm trying again in 2 days. I've never liked running but always wanted to that type of girl you see running. So damn it I'm going to do it. Errr Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:28:54 EST Allergies ugh Im trying not to scratch my eyes out. It's spring tree allergy season. Combo of allergies and allergy meds are making me really tired. I made this plan to keep calories to 1200 average per day and no alcohol until May 7th. Usually my goals are for a target weight and eventually I get so frustrated that I give up. If my goal was to loose 15 pounds I might be considering giving up now because I'm stuck at the weight I've be at for about a year now. Rationally I think that by May 7th somet... Wed, 4 Apr 2012 02:14:05 EST if it'll help me loose weight I'll blog So they say blogging helps you loose weight so here I go: I got out and went for a hike today which felt great. I spend some time on spark people every evening to remind myself even though it's hard I can loose the weight, and I'm not alone in the frustration of it all. I have felt like it's not fair that I can't have quesadillas and margaritas, then I realized I already had those. My past self ate the food already. Now I've got to eat less. Some how that helps me counter my thoughts th... Tue, 3 Apr 2012 00:12:48 EST Saying goodbye to my cat A year ago an xray showed two tumors, one in his lung and one near his liver. He seemed happy and I decided not to take the next step, an ultrasound guided needle biopsy. He's started loosing weight in the past two months. In the past week he's seemed more frail and last night his breath told me he was probably in kidney failure. I was awake most of the night sobbing and trying to decide if i should take him to the vet or not. After tests and exam the vet today said that I should put him... Fri, 25 Feb 2011 18:54:26 EST Back on track I was down ten pounds the morning we left for a four day vacation. I've been eating bistromd which is mostly frozen and I'd thought about bringing the meals but it would've required shipping them to the hotel then being defrosted for longer than moth be safe (no freezer in room). And the hassle of going to the lobby to use the microwave (no microwave in room). It was a trip my BF really looks forward too and he'd been really supportive this year with all my stressing over food and drink so ... Mon, 21 Feb 2011 11:28:52 EST Day 29 - counting accomplishments I had been making breakfast, packing lunches, and eating lean cuisine for dinner while counting calories obsessively. I do think it's good to get a handle on how many calories various foods have and learn to plan healthy balanced meals but felt it was time to coast on that for a few weeks. So I ordered BistroMD. I've been eating this for three days and so far so good. I don't love the food. I've had a few really good meals and one I didn't like. I don't mean to say bistromd isn't a good... Sun, 30 Jan 2011 02:01:40 EST Day 20 - I believe in myself After the first 12 days i'd lost five pounds then the scale stopped moving. Of course this is frustrating but I am more confident than ever that I will be successful because I did not once think of quitting. Three years ago my goal was to start my business and now it is getting busy so that I'm working 6-7 days a week. In a few months I'll go to a more sane five days a week but for now I'm happy to have the work. Today I ordered a delivery food service, bistroMD which which I hope to use... Fri, 21 Jan 2011 01:27:35 EST Discouraging Medical Grand Rounds on Obesity Medical Grand Rounds today was on obesity and its treatment. I learned nothing new. Obesity is increasing, obesity increases risk of developing diabetes, loosing weight is hard. The most discouraging message was that it is unrealistic to counsel patients to loose more than 10 -15 pounds because they are unlikely to be able to do more. There was fleeting mention of trying not to be judgemental. Questions and comments from the audience centered on the history of the corn lobby and how obes... Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:00:19 EST Day 16 - back from low blood sugar crazy land Thanks to the reassuring advice I went to dinner with friends. As soon as I ate something my brain went back to normal, stopped thinking all the black and white thinking,and was nice again. We had a great time. This morning back on track with the calorie plan. Clearly low blood sugar makes me a not nice person. Not nice to me, not nice to others. Sun, 16 Jan 2011 13:44:32 EST Day 15 - scared to eat After 13 days of 1200 and less cal/day I'd lost 5 pounds. Day 14 I gained a pound! Devastated, I skipped two meals for total of 650 calories for the day. I had my boyfriend hide the scale from me. Tonight we have friends visiting from out of town. They are coming over to see our new apartment before we go out to dinner. Is it ok to take a night off from counting calories? I could just stay home, or go and not eat. I'm scared to lose ground on the weight loss. I'm scared that the depo... Sat, 15 Jan 2011 20:39:09 EST