CHRISTASP's SparkPeople Blog CHRISTASP's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Closing this account. I decided that I will close this account of 'ChristaSP' and start a new one. I really need a 'clean slate'. <BR> I tried to find out if I can delete all my blog entries and the comments on my page, turns out I cannot, unless I do it one by one by hand. That's really too much work so I think it's better to just start over with a new account. <BR> <BR> If you want to stay in touch with me, please add me as a friend through the new account. And I will add you. (I'm leaving this account be for... Mon, 30 Dec 2013 11:23:50 EST My first diet I've just read 'Brain over Binge' and part of that book is about how dieting, particularly at a young age, can have great impact on eating patterns later on. <BR> Apparently during adolescence, the animal brain is more active than in adults. Also, the 'adult brain' or higher human brain does not develop fully until a person is about 18 years old. <BR> When dieting as a teen, the book states, the animal or lower brain will start to urge the person to binge, because it takes the diet for a fo... Sun, 29 Dec 2013 13:02:58 EST Rocky road ahead I foresee the next days will be hard, with regard to how to deal with food. I ate a lot more than planned today. Seems like the train takes a while to stop after we push the brake. <BR> <BR> Saturday, we're visiting my mother in law which I truly see as a form of torture. Hate to say it but I will be SO relieved when that is over. <BR> We have a vegetable stew that we can eat after we get back. I pray we get back about 6.30 pm and not much later. MIL won't receive guests before 2.30 pm. Sh... Fri, 27 Dec 2013 18:22:23 EST Christmas is over We had a wonderful meal in a vegetarian restaurant tonight, enjoyed it. But I was thinking that 'next year' I intend to not eat out with Christmas. <BR> <BR> I have overdone it today with eating chocolate and cookies. Yesterday was reasonable though I was quite full after dinner. Today I really overate. Too much candy in the house, leftover from yesterday when we made dinner for the family. <BR> <BR> Compared to last year when I had set good intentions and then failed totally, overeating a... Thu, 26 Dec 2013 18:17:49 EST Brain over binge I'm reading 'Brain over Binge' by Kathryn Hansen right now. I can hardly stop reading because I find it so fascinating. It offers a very different perspective on binge eating than the ones I encountered so far. <BR> <BR> Kathryn Hansen was bulimic for six years and then found her own take on the binge eating that were causing her problems. She swore that if she ever found a cure to bulimia / binge eating, she'd write a book about it. I'm glad she did, as she definitely has something to say.... Sat, 21 Dec 2013 06:00:28 EST End of my streak My streak of not eating sugar ended the day before yesterday. That was 75 days of not eating it. <BR> <BR> It would have been nice to make it for the 100 days.... but when I started I would not have thought that I'd make it beyond say, 25 days. And I learned a lot, I think. <BR> Right now I'm considering what I'll do - try to pick it up again or make different choices. <BR> <BR> Today is not a cheerful day. We went back to the vet with our dog. His eye was damaged, probably by his walkin... Wed, 18 Dec 2013 12:02:31 EST Tootsie (was never a comedy to Dustin Hoffman) <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Three minute video with Dustin Hoffman about his role in 'Tootsie'. He is literally crying over the tendency of this society to believe that women are uninteresting unless they are physically attractive. Wed, 18 Dec 2013 07:23:49 EST No sugar... and no weight loss I am somewhat frustrated. 75 days of not eating sugar and having no huge sugar binges - but the scale said this morning that I did not even lose 1 kg. I had gone down nearly 2 kg in weight but now it's back up. <BR> <BR> That is, hmm, bothering me. Plus I'm extra torn because I ALSO feel I should not care too much about the scale. <BR> <BR> Still I am also worried; if cutting out sugar and exercising for more than 30 minutes on most days is not helping to lose weight, what WILL? <BR> <BR... Sun, 15 Dec 2013 05:10:33 EST Week 50 Today is day 75 of my 100 days. Not eating sugar still, and exercising about 40 minutes per day in the past week. <BR> <BR> I have been overeating though and even had a binge, on 'healthy' foods, once. <BR> <BR> Overall I'm doing well though. It was a good choice to say I wasn't going to be at SP every day. I notice I am doing other things that are quite useful now, instead of being online. <BR> <BR> I make an exception though for the Living Binge Free forum. To support my team members ... Sat, 14 Dec 2013 13:21:52 EST Lesson 72 - Sneak eating Lesson 72 of the book '100 days of weight loss' is about sneak eating. <BR> <BR> It's suggested to agree with yourself, and tell others, to never eat trigger foods alone, so to always have them while in the company of others. <BR> <BR> To be honest - I don't think that works. I think it would only reinforce the tendency to sneak eat because the person then gets focused on 'those foods' and on the prohibition of eating it unless someone is watching. I think the roots for sneak eating go de... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 09:22:50 EST Day 72 of the 100 days! Today is day 72 of the '100 days'. My main goals for the 100 days were to not eat sugar and to do at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. <BR> <BR> I am still not eating sugar! I did have a treat with agave syrup and the likes in it - because the health store labeled that food as 'sugar free'. This teaches me to watch out even more. The treat was for our own 'Santa Claus celebration' on december 5th. So not something I intend to do frequently, anyway, but next time I will either interrogat... Wed, 11 Dec 2013 09:03:05 EST Simplifying I've decided to be at SP only twice a week from now on until at least the end of this month: on wednesday and in the weekend - one of the two weekend days. <BR> The 'social aspects' of being a member simply take too much of my time. <BR> <BR> I will continue to use the 'other goals' function of SP and the planner, and work on my goals of exercise, sleep and eating healthy foods. But I won't be reading articles and blogs, writing blogs, posting on message boards or forums etcetera. That will... Sun, 8 Dec 2013 06:52:27 EST Realization Something funny... I suddenly remembered today that I have had a bar of chocolate (sweetened with maltitol not sugar) in the cupboard for at least two or three days. It was bought in part to be part of the Sinterklaas celebration that we had last night. As it is I completely forgot about it. <BR> <BR> Something must have changed. Probably the not eating of sugar and not bingeing like I used to, for 73 days now. <BR> <BR> Because not long ago, NO chocolate would have lasted, unopened, unt... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 12:03:28 EST 'Other people' There's another thought I wanted to add to the previous blog. About getting 'life'. <BR> <BR> And that is that I'm pretty sure that the idea my mother and her friends had, was that basically, 'OTHER PEOPLE' can eat whatever they want. They can, and they DO, have all the things that the poor dieter cannot have. <BR> So the underlying idea was that there are some very unfortunate people who have a tendency to grow fat. Like an illness or bad genes. <BR> <BR> And if you have that, then you ... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 10:20:02 EST 'We've got life' My mother would often say 'we really have life'. She'd shake her head and have a sad expression. The friends she was talking with, or my older sister, would nod with a grave look on their face. <BR> <BR> What did she mean? <BR> <BR> She meant 'life' as in 'sentenced for life' in prison! <BR> <BR> So do you know what this is about? Is that an expression in English too? <BR> <BR> The idea is that if you are overweight, and you must lose weight, and you do it, you have 'life'. You may NE... Thu, 5 Dec 2013 07:28:04 EST Reasons (nr. 6) The 6th reason I wrote down is 'to look better'. <BR> My first thought is to say I don't care all that much about how I look. But I'm not sure if that is completely true. <BR> <BR> I know that I am very self conscious when I have to teach a (massage) class or give a lecture (about my experiences). I think people look at me and judge me and yes, I DO try to hold in my stomoach (oh, dear). <BR> <BR> I also notice that I tend to think that I will pay more attention to my wardrobe once I am ... Sun, 1 Dec 2013 14:59:24 EST Spiritual questions... wondering about how 'right' it is to be at SP, to focus on health and size. Lately I have started reading and studying the book A Course In Miracles again. I got acquinted with the book about 14 years ago. Studying it and trying to apply what I read changed my life in many ways. It changed my outlook on life in many respects. I started giving different responses to other people and choose other activities and behaviors. My difficult relationship with my parents improved greatly. I managed to pick up new interests, followed an education in massage, and found a new 'p... Sun, 1 Dec 2013 00:38:08 EST Plan for December My plan for the next month: <BR> <BR> 1 * Continue to be sugar free <BR> 2 * Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily. <BR> 3 * Celebrations we have this month are december 5th (our 'Sinterklaas', exchange of presents) and Christmas, and New Years Eve. My intentions for those holidays are to make some sugar free or very low sugar treats so I won't feel 'deprived' and to be able to celebrate the day without going off my plan of not eating sugar. <BR> 4 * I intend to join a gym for 'medical f... Sat, 30 Nov 2013 07:19:19 EST Today is day 60 Day 60 of my '100 days' of not eating sugar. <BR> <BR> I am not feeling well, I have the flu and so does my husband. I feel a bit frustrated because now that the bandage is off my hand, I want to go out, get up, ride my bike, go back to what I usuallydo but the flu stops me. <BR> <BR> My mother always told me that I'm not a patient person.... Fri, 29 Nov 2013 11:28:47 EST All those cute little turkeys This post was much longer. But I edited it. <BR> <BR> Just want to say that it's at least a bit funny / strange that those who EAT dead birds, place all those cute pics of turkeys on their pages. <BR> <BR> It's like the butcher shop advertising with pics of cute little cows. <BR> And the company that sells meat painting images of cute pink piggies on their trucks. <BR> <BR> It's a very strange thing, given that those cute little animals are often raised under terrible circumstances and... Thu, 28 Nov 2013 13:46:44 EST Stitches are gone So I went to hospital yesterday, the stitches were taken out of my hand and the doctor said the wound looks okay. <BR> It was not a ganglion but a benign tumor of the oh I don't know the name in English. Let's just say 'joint'. <BR> <BR> I am allowed to shower again and wash dishes and I never thought I would be SO glad to hear that. I am tired of having to depend on my husband to do the dishes, cook and peel my fruit! Never mind having to wait until he does the other chores... He's been ... Wed, 27 Nov 2013 09:57:02 EST Reasons (5) The next reason I wrote down for wanting to eat clean and lose weight is to be more fit. <BR> <BR> When I weighed 103 kilo's I never realized that my ability to move and walk and bike was hampered by my weight. <BR> Then I lost 25 kilo (= about 50 lbs?) and suddenly I noticed I could bike up that same hill that I had been tackling weekly for years, without any problems. Before, I would always be out of breath, sweating and panting. No wonder I hated the thought of exercise. <BR> <BR> So ... Mon, 25 Nov 2013 11:48:03 EST day 56 Overdid it with typing yesterday so today I will limit it. <BR> <BR> Lesson 56 <BR> Head hunger - when you want to eat out of anger / frustration. Chewy and crunchy foods in particular. <BR> <BR> I don't really have that desire often. Never eat chips because I'm allergic, or was, to MSG. <BR> <BR> When I want to binge it is on 'heart hunger' type foods: soft, melting, sweet. Mon, 25 Nov 2013 04:22:16 EST Day 55 of the '100 days' Because of the surgery on my hand I haven't been writing about the lessons that I'm doing in Linda Spangle's book '100 days of weight loss' but I have been reading the lessons every day. <BR> <BR> Today is day 55. It means I didn't eat sugar for 55 days in a row. <BR> <BR> Lesson 55 is about using food for comfort. <BR> "Food simply provides a legal, socially acceptable way to escape from reality." Hmmm.... <BR> I think this description means we are talking about addiction. Which is fine ... Sun, 24 Nov 2013 07:21:36 EST Reasons (2, 3 and 4) The next reason, or I should say 'reasons' I wrote on my list for eating and living more healthily is: less risk of diseases like diabetes, cancer and cardiovascular complaints. <BR> <BR> 3. Avoid heart complaints <BR> My father has had heart complaints since he was early in his 50's. He's by now had several surgeries. My uncle died when he was 56 of a heart attack. My mother has some heart complaints too. <BR> I had my heart checked in hospital about a year ago, they did several tests and... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 09:58:55 EST Different habits <link><BR>on_articles.asp?id=432 </link> <BR> <BR> Reading this article about the bikini diet, which was fun to read really, I realized that there are quite a few apparently normal (?) habits in eating that I don't share. <BR> <BR> - I don't drink with my meals. <BR> - Let alone milk. I don't drink milk. I have some (greek) yoghurt a few times per week, sometimes daily but I don't see the use of drinking milk. And by now I find it tastes awful! <BR> - ... Sat, 23 Nov 2013 04:39:23 EST Reasons to work on my habits and health (1) HEALTH A while a ago I wrote a list of reasons why it is a good idea to work on better habits and good health. Decided to write a bit about each of them in the time to come. It may help to motivate me to go through the holiday season! <BR> <BR> The list has about 25 items. <BR> There's a group of more general reasons and a few more specific ones. <BR> I'm starting with the general ones. <BR> <BR> Nr. 1. HEALTH! <BR> <BR> Of course this is number one. There are days when I don't see it that w... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 12:10:20 EST Back to the plan as it was Decided to stick to my goal of not having sugar and to let go of the thought of cutting out cheese and bread, too. It may not be the best time to experiment like that. <BR> <BR> I intend to, for the rest of the 100 days (this is day 53!) do my best to use my food plan and not go overboard with bread and cheese. Which means no more than three slices of (SPELT!) bread and no more than one sandwich with cheese, beside occasional use of cheese in dinner dishes. <BR> <BR> * <BR> This is the f... Fri, 22 Nov 2013 08:43:25 EST Cheese and bread free - but not wheat free argh. This is day 6 of not eating bread nor cheese and day 52 of my 100 days of no sugar. <BR> <BR> But, I flunked with the cheese and bread thing. Why? Because unthinkingly yesterday I had an 'oat cookie' (sugar free, organic ingredients) which in hindsight must have had wheat in it, and I ate the meal my husband made (can't cook with one hand), including the mock meat he served which contains loads of gluten, wheat protein. <BR> <BR> I paid for it by having HUGE cravings at night. Recognized ... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 12:43:06 EST Thought (See also previous blog). <BR> <BR> I could not cut out foods 'just' to lose weight I think. I can only cut them out because that way I feel better. Weight loss is too vague a goal, too far in the future to be enough of a motivation. I think. <BR> <BR> (Basing this on my experience with Fit for Life). Tue, 19 Nov 2013 12:47:03 EST Difference between depriving yourself and dieting for medical reasons <link><BR>with-medical-restrictions/ </link> <BR> <BR> I thought this was an interesting blog. <BR> <BR> "The classic and most common understanding as to why diets cause binge-eating is that deprivation is unsustainable — both physical deprivation and emotional deprivation (emotional being the kind that happens when you don’t allow yourself to have a certain food, although you are technically getting all the nutrients and calories that you need without... Tue, 19 Nov 2013 03:29:08 EST Choice I've thought about it. Cutting out cheese and bread for 50 days, beside cutting out sugar, seems like a big challenge. I am the queen of small steps, in many ways, so I think that it is too 'ambituous'. I'm VERY glad to be on day 49 of no sugar today. <BR> <BR> So, my choice is to say I plan to do 15 days of no cheese and no bread. After that I will evaluate and see if I want to do 25 days. After that, I can see if I want to turn it into 50 days. <BR> Today happens to be day 3 of no chees... Mon, 18 Nov 2013 14:13:21 EST Different I am not sure if I am imagining it or not. But it seems I feel different, in the past two days that I cut out cheese and bread. Less cravings. Less bloated. <BR> <BR> I tweaked my food plan - made a new draft. I still have today to think about if I want to make this a goal for the second 50 days -today is day 49. <BR> <BR> Mon, 18 Nov 2013 06:37:22 EST Lists This is day 48 of the 100 days. It's day 54 of no sugar. <BR> I did as I said and took walks in the past days and did yoga. <BR> It's hard to limit my typing. <BR> My hand seems to be healing okay. <BR> <BR> Made a list today of reasons why I would want to clean up my eating even more. Also a list of compaints I have and the length scared me. Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:00:16 EST Lists This is day 48 of the 100 days. It's day 54 of no sugar. <BR> I did as I said and took walks in the past days and did yoga. <BR> It's hard to limit my typing. <BR> My hand seems to be healing okay. <BR> <BR> Made a list today of reasons why I would want to clean up my eating even more. Also a list of compaints I have and the length scared me. Sun, 17 Nov 2013 14:00:16 EST Thinking about changes Since the surgery I've been overeating on bread and cheese. <BR> I know that both these products are considered toxic by some authors. In the past weeks of not eating sugar I noticed I wanted to eat more of them. <BR> <BR> I also realized, thanks to the sleep challenge and the mindfulness exercises, that I probanly often wake up too early because I overeat at night - before bed but also if I don't eat after supper - I often overeat at supper. <BR> <BR> So I find it very important to try to... Sat, 16 Nov 2013 10:24:33 EST Evaluation of 7 weeks of not eating sugar Today is day 47 of my '100 days'. My goal is to not eat sugar and to exercise for at least 30 minutes per day. Nearly 50 days; time for an evaluation. <BR> <BR> I have not eaten sugar for 47 days now - for 53 days actually. <BR> Didn't manage to exercise for 30 minutes every day because of fatigue and the surgery. But I did exercise for 30 -50 minutes most days. <BR> <BR> Not eating sugar means that I don't eat foods that very obviously contain sugar like my trigger foods (ice cream, chocol... Sat, 16 Nov 2013 07:25:09 EST Doing 'nothing' Looking forward to being able to exercise again, and type, and clean.... <BR> <BR> Doing a lot of reading, some watching of TV, and trying to take naps. Met with a friend today which was nice. <BR> <BR> Day 46 of the 100 days of no sugar. <BR> Day 52 since my last big binge. <BR> <BR> I commit to taking at least two short walks tomorrow and to doing 10 minutes of yoga tonight and tomorrow. <BR> Fri, 15 Nov 2013 14:32:21 EST cravings I'm having terrible cravings for chocolate / sugar today. <BR> <BR> I wonder if the anesthesia has something to with it? They say sugar works on the same part of the brain opiates do... <BR> That or it's stress or boredom... not used to sitting around doing nothing. <BR> <BR> I'm overeating but not on sugar /trigger foods... <BR> <BR> Got to see the wound today and while it appears to be healing it did scare me. Maybe i'm a whimp... <BR> Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:15:20 EST typing with left hand Thanks for all the support. <BR> <BR> Surgery went well it seems. Scarier than I thought though. <BR> Doctor said it was not a ganglion. will have to wait 2 weeks and then will hear more. <BR> <BR> Feeling sick right now + big headache - detox from anethesia? That's what you get for eating clean.... <BR> <BR> <em>24</em> <BR> <BR> Hope i'll feel better tomorrow. <BR> <BR> Wed, 13 Nov 2013 14:36:37 EST Preparing I'm still not eating sugar. Had my first binge last night since September 25th... On 'healthy' foods so to speak. <BR> I think the triggers were stress for the surgery today, going to the BED meeting which really was too much for me and they got me talking about some very negative experiences I had in my past. I was also very tired. <BR> It wasn't a huge binge, and I am glad I didn't eat any sugar or other trigger foods. But still I was discontent with myself because I wanted to sleep well... Tue, 12 Nov 2013 04:22:13 EST Day 41 of '100 days' Motivation is choice, says Linda Spangle. We create it, according to her, thrugh our thoughts, our self talk and our attitude. <BR> <BR> Hmm. So how do we create our attitude? I could ask. But let's not be too critical today. <BR> <BR> I agree with Linda that we can learn how to build our motivation / inspiration. <BR> But, I say: up to a point. <BR> <BR> An example she gives is to set your exercise shoes in front of the door to help motivate yourself to go for a walk. Uhhhmmm. I am no... Sun, 10 Nov 2013 12:40:14 EST Maltitol misfortune - ha, ha Christina Hmm ha ha. <BR> <BR> I thought I could on occasion, every few weeks maybe, allow myself a little 'treat' since I'm nog eating sugar, by just having a piece of chocolate made with mostly maltitol (only 1 percent sugar in a bar). <BR> <BR> I had a piece (less than half a bar) and then had a nap, feeling rather happy that I didn't eat all of the bar (I was at home alone, TOO). <BR> <BR> Woke up from the nap feeling sick in my stomach. I look up 'maltitol and sick' and yes, the stuff can mak... Sun, 10 Nov 2013 12:21:30 EST Day 39 and day 40 of the '100 days' Day 39 <BR> A good thought about how we may eat some foods because of their texture not their flavor. <BR> My holistic dietician is very much 'into this'. She wrote a book about 'mindful eating'. <BR> She says that some foods just ASK to be overeaten because of their texture. Like chips. They are so thin and become so soft in your mouth that you easily swallow them and then reach for more. <BR> And very soft foods too: they slide down. We forget to notice them enough. <BR> <BR> It was a ... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 15:39:35 EST Behind I'm behind with the lessons of '100 days' and I'm behind with the household. I'm trying to catch up with sleep and I missed a few days of exercise. <BR> <BR> I'm very much behind with everything. It's been a few crazy days. I don't feel it's a good idea to talk about what went on here on my blog. Nothing life threatening but very tiring and stressfull stuff. <BR> <BR> And on Tuesday I am going to have a little surgery on my hand, getting a ganglion (is that the right word in English?) rem... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 15:08:22 EST New I'm noticing something interesting. <BR> <BR> When I eat 'heavy' foods I go for a looong time without eating afterwards. Spontaneously. <BR> That's a first for me. I think it means I'm going more and more by feelings of hunger and not by the clock, habit or by emotional reasons to eat. <BR> <BR> For example I have a heavy food at lunch (like a slice of pizza, which I don't eat often). Then I find myself at supper not having eaten a snack in the afternoon. Just wasn't hungry. <BR> <BR> ... Sat, 9 Nov 2013 14:59:11 EST Day 37 and 38 of '100 days' Day 37's lesson is called 'I love to eat'. I remember that Geneen Roth said she often hears people say that they love food... but that someone who loves food, will savor it and taste it well and not overeat. That seems quite right to me. <BR> <BR> But this lesson is not about loving food but about loving to eat. Meaning the action of eating. In that sense I very much 'love to eat' for some reason. Emotional I'm sure. Or maybe I wouldn't even call it 'emotional'. Maybe it's 'addiction'. <... Fri, 8 Nov 2013 07:03:50 EST Day 36 of '100 days' In this lesson Linda Spangle says a few things that I find interesting. Also because they confirm my own experience and thoughts. <BR> <BR> Like: our bodies needs for fuel aren't always consistent. On one day you may need to eat more than another. This is one reason why I don't believe in weighing and measuring and 'portion control' so much. The final word, I feel, should go to our body and its hunger signals. <BR> <BR> She also says that if you stop eating when you notice the 'auting pau... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 11:27:24 EST The dilemma of an emotional eater; give food up AND hold on to it <link><BR>Profile_of_an_Emotional_Eater.asp?bhcp=1 </link> <BR> <BR> An interesting article. It says that Emotional Eaters expect weight loss to make their life better. <BR> "They hope that losing weight will make them more complete psychologically. However, diets fail them because the solution happens in reverse. They have to become more psychologically complete in order to lose weight." <BR> <BR> So there's a dilemma. They want to let food go and lo... Tue, 5 Nov 2013 11:18:03 EST Day 35 of '100 days' The lesson is called 'the eating pause'. <BR> <BR> A VERY interesting concept and I'm definitely going to try this out. <BR> <BR> The author states that during a meal you will have a moment when you pause, maybe not even realizing. Some people put down their fork, other push their plate aside for a moment or lean back in their chair, stretch, etcetera. <BR> So there is an instant where you briefly pause from eating your meal. <BR> In her eyes THIS is the moment we really should stop eat... Mon, 4 Nov 2013 08:55:28 EST