CHIGGERCANE's SparkPeople Blog CHIGGERCANE's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Best Year of My Life - Rising Above Yesterday, I allowed myself to sink back down into emotional eating. Today, I am beating myself up mentally for allowing my mother and sisters to 'play me'. And I am struggling to RISE ABOVE and let it go. Thursday, I was at the lowest weight I have been for probably 3 years. I was feeling proud, accomplished, motivated, etc. What I thought was a nice gathering for lunch, actually turned out to be an information fishing session to 'expose' me and my nefarious ways... <em>24</em> I know... Sat, 8 Jul 2017 16:46:15 EST Best Year of My Life - Value and Care for What You Have Feeling very unsettled today - and the day has just begun for me. Couple days ago, heard "Christmas is 6 months away!" and that sends some shivers down my spine. Christmas is my birthday. And when the Best Year of My Life ends - and the next Best Year of My Life begins. The time I reassess everything. I have good and bad memories of Christmas - like everyone. It seems family issues bubble up and overflow - in bad ways, the last few years. And this Christmas will be the 1st year my son... Wed, 28 Jun 2017 08:04:06 EST Best Year of My Life - June 9 So much to do - always. And so much gets left un-done! I read a little book about a month ago - The Greatest Salesman in the World - mainly because I had seen someone on here quote Og Mandino several times. So - I went to the book store and browsed through his books and started with that one. Quick read - good advice. Someone else on here had written "we only have now" which I thought was motivational - and guess what? - from the book. I wrote down some phrases to remember and live by -... Fri, 9 Jun 2017 08:52:01 EST May - Best Month of My Life - Day 19 - Wasting Time or Motivating Myself? It's been a while since I've checked in. Plugging away. One step (and pound or half-pound) at a time. <BR> <BR> I have a semi-routine in the morning when I 'go to work'. I check for important emails that have come in, check various updates, and then check in here. I check a couple journals and then browse through the blogs. Sometimes it's a quick 5-10 minutes, other times, I get on a roll and end up spending too much time here. Today - I wondered - am I wasting time, trying to keep from... Fri, 19 May 2017 07:50:35 EST May - Best Month of My Life - Day 4 Just got back from boot camp and coaching class. Both were wonderful as always. I am feeling much more 'able' in boot camp. I have trouble with the burpees...let's be real - I don't do them. I heavily modify. But, aside from the burpees - I felt pretty capable. Yea! Coaching focused on mindful eating. I am to come up with a few strategies to get me to more mindful eating. We are to track BLT's (Bites, Licks and Tastes) this week and come back to class next week with a calorie count ... Thu, 4 May 2017 12:39:41 EST May - The Best Month of my Life - Day 1 I started off today reading GTNHealthy's great blog about setting goals, making plans, etc. Thank you, GTNHealthy for making me actually set something down in writing. I have many goals and plans in my head (and some in writing), but It's time to update them. I had thoughts to do a (maybe) daily blog this month to keep me focused on my goals and plans... <BR> <BR> I then heard from a friend about a mutual acquaintance's untimely passing this weekend. While I would not say we were 'friend... Mon, 1 May 2017 13:06:41 EST Beck & Me - 42 Practice Practice Practice <BR> <BR> I have my 'diet' notebook, my cards (which I wrote in a smaller notebook with a flip top), my mantras (in the same notebook as the cards), my planning/schedule notebook, my menu to practice making them a part of my everyday life! I am so grateful to Kriszta and the Beck team. Reading posts and blogs helped me. <BR> <BR> I enjoyed reading this book. I have signed up to redo it just so I stay on track. I have gathered there are other color ... Tue, 11 Apr 2017 19:42:31 EST Beck & Me - 41 Make a New List: Instead of making a new list, I will be reviewing and editing. I find it amazing how easy it is to overlook and forget. I have my notebook and cards to review. But, then I forget. I have a notebook of my schedule and plans, calendar, etc. I must remember to make it a habit to look through and review at least weekly. I so look forward to habits become habits! <BR> <BR> I keep talking about updating my routines - and I am 'almost' done with that - hopefully this week, I ... Mon, 10 Apr 2017 12:32:11 EST Beck & Me - 40 Enrich my life. I have pulled back from a few things as I have gotten heavier. I am making an effort to get back out and do what I want and need to do. <BR> <BR> I have given up my therapy work with the dog - mainly because of her issues (her stomach surgery and back sensitivity due to age, plus the behavior issues with the couple kids), but if I am honest, I admit I wasn't too happy with my comfort level as I was sitting on the floor). While I do not think we will return to the therap... Sun, 9 Apr 2017 09:49:28 EST Beck & Me - 39 Keep up with Exercise. I am working hard to get back to where I used to be. I used to have a set schedule and I was fairly consistent. Then a few years ago I was so busy at work that exercise was the first thing to go...bad choice! I am doing much better, but still room for improvement. I try to do (at a minimum) at least 15 mins of SOMETHING everyday. Making a commitment to do exercise - and living through on my commitment to myself! <BR> <BR> I used to love working out HARD and leavi... Sat, 8 Apr 2017 14:18:38 EST Beck & Me - 38 38 - Deal with Plateaus- Plateaus - hate em. I feel like I have been on a plateau for 17 years. I lose a couple pounds, gain a couple pounds, and repeat. Since beginning Beck, I have dropped a few pounds and I feel like I am stabilizing. I've learned that I don't lose consistently and sometimes it seems the less I eat and more I exercise, the more I gain. I'm learning to not get too discouraged - and keep trying. <BR> <BR> I know restricting certain thing, reducing starchy carbs and eli... Fri, 7 Apr 2017 21:36:11 EST Beck & Me - 37 Reduce Stress: Big challenge for me. I have been working on learning to live 'less stressed'. I too liked the statement that you cannot control others - something that is huge for me. Getting my routines and planned menus completed and in place is going to reduce 'everyday' stress. <BR> <BR> Coaching yesterday also touched on this subject: streamline, make decisions now, outsource what you can, ask for help, relax... <BR> <BR> I blame my belly on stress... <em>30</em> Thu, 6 Apr 2017 15:56:31 EST Beck & Me - 36 Day 36: Believe It. <BR> I know I can do this. I know what to do. Reading Beck has opened up some new techniques I can use to get where I want to be. I CAN be at a comfortable weight. <BR> <BR> Coaching session today was very good. It's interesting to me how Beck and the coaching class intertwine to reinforce the techniques presented. <BR> <BR> In coaching class today, we focused on streamlining and making commitments - and then honoring those commitments. I am supplementing my Bec... Wed, 5 Apr 2017 14:39:18 EST Beck & Me - 34 & 35 34 - Solve Problems. As the chapter suggested, the first thing is to identify the problem. Stop and think. Question. And then remind myself - "What do I really want?". Should be obvious. Stop. Think. <BR> <BR> 35 - Prepare to weigh in. My dinner out last night may affect my weight. And I have not done hard exercise in several days. It is what it is. I will not sabotage myself no matter the weigh in. <BR> <BR> Spring break here means no coaching class or boot camp. I am going to... Tue, 4 Apr 2017 19:51:17 EST Beck & Me - 33 33: Deal with Emotional Eating. This is a huge issue for me. I find myself scrounging around for 'something' when things get stressful. A few years ago, I was unable to eat more than a few bites a day due to intense anxiety/stress from work. Unfortunately, I learned that when I could eat - i would eat. I am working to get out of that habit. I am making myself stop and think before I reach for anything. I tell myself to get out of the kitchen. Lots of work to do here. Tue, 4 Apr 2017 08:42:43 EST Beck & Me - 32 Planning for Travel <BR> Travel - I have a stash of relatively healthy snacks and water that I travel with at all times. When I travel long distances, I need to plan ahead and think smart at restaurants. Biggest problem I seem to have is not indulging in drinks when we stop to fuel up. I have a trip coming up at the end of May - still not sure whether driving or flying. I will put a lot of planning into the trip once I know. <BR> <BR> Today has been some outdoor cleanup and getting son ... Sat, 1 Apr 2017 16:04:17 EST Beck & Me - 31 Decide about drinking: Not a problem for me. I rarely drink alcohol. In summer, I think this can be more of an item to watch and track due to frozen concoctions. <BR> <BR> Feeling a little slimmer today - strange how that happens. Weight is about the same, but I feel better. The weekends always give me some problems, so I am getting my plan together now. Son leaves Sunday for a week trip. Lots to do next week. Fri, 31 Mar 2017 12:31:13 EST Beck & Me - 29 & 30 29 - Food Pushers <BR> Food pushers do not bother me that often. I learned early not to let food be pushed on me and I can say no effectively (and nicely). My mother is the worst food pusher. There are times when she plays on the emotions. I will see eye rolls and hear muttered comments regarding my being on a diet, my being 'too good' or 'eating too healthy' for her food. These times bother me and sometimes cause me lose my good intentions - but never at her place - it's always later a... Thu, 30 Mar 2017 17:05:32 EST Beck & Me - 28 Day 28 - weigh-in. Disappointment - but, thankfully, I know how to handle it! <em>41</em> I am utilizing the techniques presented to regroup, replan, adjust - and "Oh well...move on". I am going to revise my eating plan a bit. I am going to re-read some. I am going to sit down to eat (my greatest challenge by far). So glad I found the Beck Team! Krizsta11 is an amazing leader and cheerleader! So thankful for her gentle encouragement. <BR> <BR> So - the basement steps for some reason ye... Tue, 28 Mar 2017 07:48:52 EST Beck & Me - 27 7 Questions. I'm so glad there are other posts for me to review on the Beck Team page. I think this is another read again and again chapter. The questioning is starting to happen automatically for me - but I fear I am heading into a food paralysis situation sometimes. (I have to question why the ad for DD Caffe mocha & White Choc Mocha has just appeared...I have not been near a DD much less had one of their coffee drinks...). <BR> <BR> I did not make it to the gym today - was stuck at ... Mon, 27 Mar 2017 15:38:45 EST Beck & me - 26 26 Recognize thinking mistakes. Very good chapter. every single thinking mistake highighted in this chapter applies to me. I need to read this chapter again and again to get to my solution. It all boils down to "what do i really want" and "what am I willing to do to get it". <BR> <BR> I think I am cycling through to my 'what's the use' time. I am working to snap out of it (moonstruck slap...) by reorganizing the pantry, working on my meal plans for the week, writing in my exercise plan, ... Sun, 26 Mar 2017 13:46:39 EST Beck & Me - 24 & 25 24: Deal with Discouragement. Handling discouragement...hard for me. I've always been a person who plans for the worst so I can be prepared and not taken by surprise. But, it tends to result in an Eeyore outlook on life. Discouragement seems to reaffirm my expectations. <em>39</em> However, most people I interact with think I have a positive approach and attitude, so I really think I hide that aspect of myself. I get mired down for a time - but then get up and get going. I've foun... Sat, 25 Mar 2017 10:12:53 EST Beck & Me - 23 It's Not Fair: I look at my weight issues as I spent over 1/2 my life on the other side of 'fair' - being underweight and able to eat anything at anytime. My mother told me when I was 16, she couldn't wait til I gained weight and understood how 'most of us live'. I was shocked at the time that it was said with such 'feeling' still makes me sad to remember this. My friends were always telling me it wasn't fair. Sorry - don't mean to drag in other 'issues' <em>20</em> but I think I st... Thu, 23 Mar 2017 12:20:57 EST Beck & Me - 21 & 22 Day 21 Weigh In Day: I am a daily weigher. I find it helpful to see how the day before has affected me. However, I clearly remember days where I have seen an increase of 3-5 pounds overnight. I am not imagining it. And I have NEVER seen a loss of 3-5 pounds. <em>20</em> I like the idea presented of graphing from 0 (instead of actually tracking weight). My chart is made. I have an official weekly weigh-in with the coaching class, so I will be tracking that weigh-in as well as my m... Wed, 22 Mar 2017 08:44:39 EST Beck & Me - 20 Day 20 - Get Back on Track <BR> <BR> HAHAHA - was doing great but for some reason, today was the day to off road. I was running errands and didn't time things correctly. I entered my food into my tracker and...WOW... <em>40</em> <em>39</em> !!! SO - now I know. I am cognizant of the 'expense' of eating this in the future. BUT - as part of getting back on track IMMEDIATELY, I drove to the gym and swam my 1/2 mile. It was tough. I don't know if it was reaction to eating poorly, all... Tue, 21 Mar 2017 15:45:33 EST Beck & Me - 19 Fooling myself. I am most vulnerable when alone. Is it the 'no one sees me eat it - it doesn't count' syndrome? Not sure. A little bite wont hurt, I worked hard today, it will even out over the week - these are my foolish thoughts. Realizing that what and how I used to be able to eat no longer applies to me is very hard - but very necessary. <BR> <BR> I think back over the years and how I ate. I would never consider myself to have an eating disorder. But - when I was much younger I remember... Tue, 21 Mar 2017 07:45:09 EST Beck & Me - 18 definition of full...I don't think I have a huge problem with this in the definition from being too full. Actually I seem to have a problem eating enough at one time so that I am not feeling 'want' too quickly after meal times. I can eat what I think is sufficient at meal times - and then 2 hours later feel hunger or desire to eat (still working on the difference between those 2). When I eat certain things (potato chips or other similar snack things), this fullness feeling doesn't apply an... Sun, 19 Mar 2017 10:56:57 EST Beck & Me - 17 I don't like this exercise. I've never had a problem leaving food on my plate. In fact, especially at restaurants, I've never, or rarely, finished everything on my plate. I have a problem intentionally adding food to my plate that I know will be an as you can tell, I'm not into Day 17's exercise. <BR> <BR> Anyway - yesterday ended up being dog agility. I did not get to the pool this week. I need to do better planning for next week. Weight was down again a bit today. Ma... Sat, 18 Mar 2017 14:52:45 EST Beck & Me - 16 Prevent Unplanned Eating: When I first began jogging, my mantra was "Do - or Do NOT...there is no try." I never realized it was a Yoda quote.... <em>20</em> It worked for me. I'm trying (HAHA) to get back to that place where I can just Do or Not Do. Decide ahead of time - and follow through. I wrote out my eating plan for today. So far, I am following it. I will keep up with this and work on finalizing my meal plans. I will keep organization of the pantry a daily item. And I will re... Thu, 16 Mar 2017 11:53:06 EST Beck and Me - 15 Monitor eating. Writing a plan down. Living the plan. I have so many version of my meal spreadsheets. I get a little overwhelmed when I try to revise them. I'm not sure why. I have my dinner monthly meal plan together. It should be a very simple thing to put together a breakfast and lunch monthly plan. <BR> <BR> I like the idea of writing the plan out - crossing out as I eat, adding and circling unplanned. I will get out my trusty notebook and proceed. Wed, 15 Mar 2017 16:47:23 EST Beck & Me - 13 & 14 Controlling cravings is a topic I need to spend some time on. My biggest triggers seem to be fresh baking smells. The last 3 days as I have been shopping have had some 'moments' - moments I was able to control and be successful! I will reread this chapter and work on this. <BR> <BR> Planning - I have the planning down - it's the living I need to work on! There is some tweaking I will do. I always have a box in the car with 'emergency' items (I really hate calling it emergency when it's ... Tue, 14 Mar 2017 15:45:36 EST Beck & Me -12 The planned skip lunch and 'experience it' to learn from it did not happen today. It will not happen tomorrow or Tuesday either (lunch meetings both days). I will plan for this to be completed Weds and possibly Thursday as well. I have done this before - late breakfast, no lunch, dinner - BUT - I have had light snacks prior to dinner. It will be interesting to see how I tolerate the no snacks. <BR> <BR> No exercise today...hip and feet have really been hurting. I must add some icing b... Sun, 12 Mar 2017 21:09:52 EST Beck & Me - 11 Hunger, Cravings <BR> <BR> It's been awhile since I have actually felt hunger. I'm constantly surrounded by food availability and as a creature of habit, I think I eat more from habit/time than anything. A few years ago, work stress and anxiety made it physically impossible for me to eat more than a couple bites at a time - and unfortunately, I learned that when I could eat - I WOULD eat. I remember when I was pregnant, if I became hungry, it was too late - migraines would take over and I... Sat, 11 Mar 2017 12:51:48 EST Beck and Me - 9 & 10 Establishing an exercise plan. I can do this, no problem. My real problem is enforcing it, living it, accomplishing it... <em>20</em> Right now, my plans include (weekly) - swimming or water aerobics (1-2x), boot camp (1x), TRX and home weights (1-3x), dog walks (2-7x), elliptical (1x). That's what's on the schedule. And until this week, I've been pretty consistent (discounting a couple weeks ago when I was sick). I'm also planning for some monthly add-ons including: hill sprints, moun... Thu, 9 Mar 2017 15:24:20 EST Beck & Me - 7 & 8 Organizing your environment and planning/taking time to diet. All in all, my environment is already structured to support what I am doing. I do the shopping, organizing, cooking. I do buy things for my husband and son that I do not eat or drink. But, usually it is not a problem for me. AS for I wrote on the team check-in, when I quit the corporate world in 1998 to 'just' work for our own business, I had grand plans to get a daily and weekly schedule together. That plan i... Wed, 8 Mar 2017 14:59:26 EST Beck & Me - 6 A diet coach. In January, I joined a coaching class. This class does not follow Beck, but the intent behind it seems to fit very nicely with what I have read so far. I also (as you read) am trying to blog daily about what I am doing with Beck. <BR> <BR> Today - I took 2 of the dogs out alone a different times. 1 dog is on rest for a pulled leg, so he did not get a turn. I did a couple of my hill 'sprints' (sprint is used VERY LOOSELY) on one of my walks. Boy - have I lost my ability ... Mon, 6 Mar 2017 20:39:29 EST Beck & Me - 5 Taking time. I need to apply this to more than 'just' eating. Savoring the experience. Having conversation. I can see my son rolling his eyes... <em>41</em> This will be another tough one to work on. <BR> <BR> We just got back from the 'farm' to assess the wedding venue. Lots to do between now and November. Lots to work on ME between now and November. I will not stress...I will not stress...I will not stress! <BR> <BR> I have a batch of kale, garbonzo bean soup cooking. That's a... Sun, 5 Mar 2017 16:58:13 EST Beck & Me - 4 Giving myself credit.... <em>20</em> ...I agree with many of the team members' comments. This is a hard one. I was brought up to do my best, be humble, take pride in quietly doing my best. I tend to focus on what I do wrong or where I slip up. So - giving myself credit for not 100% is hard. But, I will work on this. 'cus I am rather tired of not being happy with myself and my efforts. Today we spent hours out in the yard picking up after a bad storm a couple days ago. Back is feelin... Sat, 4 Mar 2017 21:43:53 EST Beck & Me - 3 Eating while sitting - I tend to eat standing up for breakfast and lunch and some snacks. Since I work out of my house, I go to the kitchen and stand at the counter while catching up on news (TV). This is going to be an adjustment for me. Big adjustment. When I told my husband what I was doing (reading Beck), he rolled his eyes and said I read too much - why not just do it? Good question. Wish I could answer... <em>20</em> <BR> <BR> Dog agility tonight. Gym did not happen today. M... Fri, 3 Mar 2017 15:02:50 EST Beck & Me - 2 Day 2 - pick a 'diet': I struggle with this task - in that I am trying to get to a lifestyle diet not a diet diet. In the last 14 years, I have tried JC, MWL, Whole30, clean eating, looked into the inflammation free diet, eat for your blood type, Daniel plan...any others? What I've learned is that I need to find what will work for me. And what I think will work best for me is a mashup of everything BUT JC. I want to stay with clean food, avoiding processed and packaged food. So - my firs... Thu, 2 Mar 2017 22:11:18 EST Beck & Me - 1 Wasn't sure what name-theme to go with this month. Guess I'll go with Beck & Me since I am committing to Beck Diet Solution (in addition to my other commitments...). SO today was identifying WHY I want to lose weight. I identified with most (but not all) the reasons on the worksheet. But - my main reasons - I want to be me again. I want to feel comfortable in my skin again. I want to be as healthy as I can be - and I really hope getting some weight off will help my knees and allow me to... Wed, 1 Mar 2017 20:00:12 EST 15 Minutes - Mile Swim I did a mile swim! <em>334</em> The last few laps were a little wobbly, but I did it! 64 minutes. At one point, a conversation I had with a runner popped into my head. As I was beginning jogging, he told me that instead of running to run, I should run to get somewhere. Thus leading to better form, better time, and an all round better workout. About 1/2 way into the swim, I thought of that - and tried to perfect my form, my breathing (lots of room for improvement), and my timing. It... Tue, 28 Feb 2017 12:27:43 EST 15 Minutes Pool did not happen. So I did TRX, squats stretching. The AC guy was here for much longer than I anticipated. He accidentally blew out the blower motor on one unit. So, we have a new blower motor. <BR> <BR> I spent some time working on my plug and play meal planning spreadsheet. I was listening to a radio program this afternoon and the host was discussing being focused and intentional. To actually look at, understand, comprehend your situation - and then make action toward what you w... Mon, 27 Feb 2017 21:54:20 EST 15 Minutes We took the dogs up to the farm and tromped about for almost an hour. The dogs were quite exhausted afterwards. I have not checked fitbit yet to see the distance. <BR> <BR> Tomorrow, I am determined to get back to the pool. A week off is enough. I have work in the morning and a repair guy coming to the house 'before 1'. After he is done, I am going to the gym, no matter what. <BR> <BR> I have our meal plans together for the week. I am prepped and ready. This WILL be a good week. Sun, 26 Feb 2017 16:47:20 EST 15 Minutes x 2 Yesterday's minutes were spent doing TRX, hand weights, and ab work. And dog agility (how could I forget??) <BR> Today was a dog walk with the whole family. <BR> <BR> The thin mints arrived. And I did go out and buy Sugar Free ice cream (80 cals per 1/2 cup). Now - if I can only control the sleeve eating...The boxes are in the freezer. I have given myself 'permission' to eat some this weekend. And then no more as I will give them up for Lent again. As I've shared last year - I really... Sat, 25 Feb 2017 17:31:51 EST 15 Minutes Normal dog walk today. And I will do my TRX routine and arm weights later today. I am feeling mostly normal. Couldn't sleep last night. Was probably 3:30 before I finally drifted off. Not sure what's got me keyed up. I ended up rearranging my home office late (for me) last night - maybe that was it. As I'm sitting here at the new desk area, I am not sure I like what I did. I like parts of it - it flows better and provides more space (especially when my husband is in here as well) - bu... Thu, 23 Feb 2017 11:59:38 EST 15 Minutes...INVITED I am waiting out this cold/virus. I considered hitting the pool yesterday, but knew that breathing would be a problem. I did TRX and walked about doing errands. I have decided with the cold and not having boot camp, that I am 'ok' to do a rest week - rest from heavy cardio and lifting. I will do some lower intensity things, but I will not worry about it. I am recharging myself. <BR> <BR> I received an invitation to join a Bible Study group I used to participate in. Depending on work le... Wed, 22 Feb 2017 09:37:17 EST 15 Minutes...of Rest and Recovery I had managed to fight off the cold/virus going around - until Friday. Felt rather blah by Friday evening. Saturday was another blah day so did only what need to be done. Sunday was a bad, achy day. Sat around for most of the day. I did go to dog training class. I have not checked my fitbit steps to see what that hour of training added up IF that's sufficient exercise, but at least I was moving. Today, I am feeling more normal. Monday is my normal, desk/office day. So I am goi... Mon, 20 Feb 2017 11:35:59 EST 15 Minutes were spent in the pool. I did my 5 stroke combo 5 laps each - so 25 laps total, which is 1250 yards (I am counting a lap as 2 lengths, which makes sense to me, but from what I see online, some people consider a lap a length...??), Arms are a little tired. I really am enjoying this so far. I'm surprised. <BR> <BR> Dog agility tonight - although husband is feeling a little under the weather. We will see if we make it tonight. Weekend plans are unmade at this point. Son leaves for out o... Fri, 17 Feb 2017 09:51:01 EST 15 Minutes Boot camp today - wonderful class. I can't tell if I just want to see a difference or if I actually did see a difference in the mirror. Whatever difference there is - it is slight - but it means things are getting better. My weight was down slightly at the weigh-in for coaching class. I feel good about the choices I made food wise this week. And the water I drank. Coaching class had a sub coach today. She's good but not as dynamic a coach as the main one. The topic today was Planning ... Thu, 16 Feb 2017 12:48:39 EST