CHERYLHURT's SparkPeople Blog CHERYLHURT's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community First stop, Cocoa Beach It took us 10hours to drive to our hotel in Cocoa Beach. We baked potatoes in the microwave, sat on the deck with a glass of wine, and staggered to early bed. This is a fresh start, a new life. I will make the best of it. Today we drive to Tampa after a really long walk this morning! Sat, 16 Dec 2017 08:12:38 EST Regained my sister We both had heavy loads for 14 years...I thought her life was much easier and certainly more exotic..But...neither of us knew. Now we have reconnected and plan on meeting at least once a year. This week with her has been just wonderful! Fri, 15 Dec 2017 06:51:15 EST Scattering Mum’s ashes today Today is my last day with my sister. Tomorrow she flies back to San Francisco, we drive to Tampa to get on a ship. Yesterday the funeral home called, Mum’s ashes were ready. Beloved went and picked them up, plus ten death I have one for both parents...My sister and her small family are all we have and we live on the other side of the country. We moved here for Mum, and would take a huge huge loss if we sold and moved back. I have to take a fresh look at my life ... Thu, 14 Dec 2017 08:14:27 EST Never too cold to walk Bundle up, hit the streets, and get the morning walking done. Beloved has an eye appointment this morning. Praying for good results. Wed, 13 Dec 2017 06:56:47 EST Packing My sister flies out Friday. We then head to Florida to pick up a ship. I need this break....we will celebrate our 43rd Anniversary! Tue, 12 Dec 2017 07:07:11 EST Sleeping without drugs I cannot believe how much a burden I must have been carrying these last 14 years! Now I’m sleeping well and when I awaken I feel no lurch of dread , no pressure. A huge weight has been lifted and I know I was the best daughter I could possibly be. I’m at total peace. Mon, 11 Dec 2017 08:26:28 EST Working on my relationship with my sister We went hiking yesterday, just talking and walking. We are being gentle with each other and trying to repair this breech. Sun, 10 Dec 2017 07:56:23 EST Peace I took a sleeping pill and finally slept. Now I need to research sleep clinics here and learn how to sleep naturally. Sat, 9 Dec 2017 08:06:15 EST Mum just died My sister and I finalized the arrangements at the mortuary yesterday, moved whatever monies she had into her trust, then spent the day at her bedside. The hospice called me at midnight to say she was at 5:40 they called again to say she died. That chapter in my life is now closed. Fri, 8 Dec 2017 06:28:43 EST My family goes back...but my sister is remaining We have healed, talked everything out. Now Mum is dying.. my sister is remorseful...didn’t call Mum, rarely visited...and now time is almost over. Love while you can. Say the words people need to hear. Tomorrow comes, and today can never be retrieved. Thu, 7 Dec 2017 05:39:08 EST Saying fungal words No word on having to move her...her labs were better than in the hospital but still dreadful, shows end stage renal failure. I guess these UTI’s the doctors have been treating every month for the last six mo hs just never got wiped out...and attacked the kidney. She’s taking in only sips... Wed, 6 Dec 2017 06:31:10 EST Mum “isn’t dying fast enough” for her to stay in Hospice! I was physically sick when they told me that yesterday. Now they want to move her OUT of hospice into a nursing home somewhere in South Carolina. And there is nothing we can do! Tue, 5 Dec 2017 06:44:02 EST Valerian isn’t working It worked that first week, now I’m back to going to bed, lay awake 2hours, and doze fitfully through the night, never getting into deep sleep. But I’m not feeling exhausted...when all this with Mum is over I’ll research biofeedback. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Mon, 4 Dec 2017 06:02:02 EST Reconciliation with my sister I had 14 years of resentment towards her...she rarely called my Mum, visited once a year for a week, never picked up any bills. Last evening we talked, with our husband’s next to us...and we reconnected. She never realized ? what a load we were carrying or how hard it’s been. She apologized profusely as is planning to stay here 30 days. Today she and her husband will sit with Mum and my husband and I will have a day with our nieces and the new baby. Sun, 3 Dec 2017 07:41:19 EST Time with Mum She rouses periodically...thinks she’s back in England. Doctor said it could be weeks. Sat, 2 Dec 2017 06:32:39 EST Mum is dying... In renal failure. Nothing the doctors can do. My nieces arrived last night, my sister and b-in-law arrive tonight. I’m not sleeping. . I have spent 3 days at the hospital. Last night I had her transferred to hospice ...a beautiful place. My husband and I have given the last 14 years to caring for Mum, my sister has done absolutely we’ll see if she tries to bill the estate for her travel. If so, our relationship will be forever over. Fri, 1 Dec 2017 05:12:25 EST Spending my days and nights at the hospital Wondering if we should have let her die peacefully in her bed at the Assisted it worse for her to be 91.5 and in a hospital bed being pumped full of IV fluids and antibiotics...I answer to a Higher Power and want to to the right thing for my Mum. She’s not eating or drinking and what they do get in her she vomits. Waiting for her morning labs... Thu, 30 Nov 2017 08:22:40 EST Mum is in the hospital... She wasn’t eating and wasn’t drinking much since Thanksgiving. I was trying to force fluids every day and decided yesterday to take her to ER. The place was packed! After drawing labs they did an abdominal CT and admitted her in renal failure. We’re hoping she can pull out of it with intensive fluid management. Her BUN is 80, creatinine 7.2, potassium 6.2. She’s 91 so we’re opting not to have dialysis.... <BR> Wed, 29 Nov 2017 05:32:18 EST Autumn colors As the leaves change color I’m grateful for changes in my life. I still have Mum, difficult as she is; beloved’s eye hasn’t detached again; I’m sleeping better so haven’t had any emotional meltdowns in a is not always easy. Tue, 28 Nov 2017 08:03:09 EST Making soup with leftovers We were in Walmart yesterday and eggs were 22 CENTS a dozen! We have a new Lidl store in town that has super low prices for now. So Walmart is trying to compete. Got to talking with a couple with a bunch of kids, they we’re loading up on cheap food, as we were, and talking turned to food Americans throw out. We said we throw out absolutely nothing! With leftovers we make soup, polenta, or toss it into our salad. They do the same! Mon, 27 Nov 2017 06:35:06 EST New week, fresh start Tomorrow we have a roofer come since we saw some missing shingles. We want to make sure everything is snug before the rains come. Tuesday we both go to the dentist, and I have Mum both days of course. Wednesday is a dance lesson, only 9 more and we’re through, Thursday our two nieces come with the second great grand baby for Mum. It’s so good of my eldest niece to come all this way so Mum can see a new baby, and super sweet of her sister to come along to help her! Should be a hectic week! Sun, 26 Nov 2017 06:17:19 EST I slept 8 hours straight ! After a week on valerian last night I had lights off at 8:30 and awoke at 4:30. Shocked to realize I slept 8 hours straight! I bounced quietly out of bed and am ready to go walking. We have a Mum today and she was ill yesterday....poor dear. Sat, 25 Nov 2017 05:30:15 EST My underwear is getting tight! There is no excuse, but we haven’t exercised like we usually do this whole year because beloved’s retina and macula kept detaching. Yesterday I realized things we getting snug so reluctantly stepped on the scale. I’m going to start being aware..starting today. It’s so easy to gain and hard to lose! Fri, 24 Nov 2017 08:05:35 EST Lots of walking today! Morning walk, then beloved will get Mum at 11 while I shower. Should be a nice day and have Mum back in her place about 5:30... Thu, 23 Nov 2017 07:46:22 EST Up early, laundry is in the dryer I like the valerian, it seems to be helping me sleep. Yesterday I volunteered at the Assisted Living where a Mum is. It was a full day and I did a lot of moving ancient ones to keep them involved in our activities. The second activity person was let go because she called in all Top often, now I’ll help until they get a backup... Wed, 22 Nov 2017 06:09:52 EST My friend has no choice and is stuck in a not great situation She’s the wife of the neighbor who cut us off when we didn’t vote his way, after five years of friendship...he also cut my friend and her kids off from us too. Her first marriage was bad, so she finally took her girls and left. Met the man living next to her sister...he seems so nice at first, but then you realize he a major bully...constantly putting others down, really loud, arguing about everything. She can’t afford to leave...he owns the roof over her head, the girls are still in school... Tue, 21 Nov 2017 08:00:13 EST The valerian seems to be working! I had lights off by book was too good to stop so I read a little longer! I awoke at 3am, lay there quietly until 4:30...mostly thinking of our neighbors who cut us off completely when we didn’t vote their way...and suddenly it was 7:30! I actually slept! Woo hoo! Too many exclamation marks but oh well.... Mon, 20 Nov 2017 08:03:14 EST Lots of wind The leaves are raining down from the trees. The deck is covered with leaves and since the house has trees everywhere it’s so pretty with all the bright autumn colors.. lots of wind right now. Sun, 19 Nov 2017 08:24:46 EST Tried valerian for the first time. Took it at 8 pm. Went to bed, dark room, at 9with lights out. Beloved came to bed at 11...and I was still awake. I did drop off because I checked the clock at 2am and finally got up at 5 am to go walking. I’ll try it for the next few months.... Sat, 18 Nov 2017 06:32:23 EST Cold and clear Walking is done. We have a dance lesson today, almost through with all the lessons and I don’t want to continue. We’re better than before but will never be Fred and Ginger! Fri, 17 Nov 2017 08:01:48 EST Anyone tried valerian for sleep? Up too early but my walking is done and I can cuddle with a nice cup of tea. Ordered valerian from Amazon...supposed to help with sleep...anyone tried it? Today should be fairly quiet until we have a meeting tonight at 6 pm which could get tricky. One of the homeowners in our HOA is a bully and I’m on the board.... Thu, 16 Nov 2017 05:58:44 EST How can I stay asleep? No tv, I’m in bed by 9pm, lights out. I have been taking 5 mg of melatonin every night and this year the doctor started me on Xanax 0.25 at bedtime because of stress over beloveds eyes, and Mum. But now I sleep for 2 hours! Wake up, look at the clock and it’s only 11 pm! I tried getting up and reading but ended up reading the whole now I make myself quietly lie there, calm, regulate my breathing....and I do this until 5 am. How can I get sleep? Yes, I exercise. No, no 📺. Shou... Wed, 15 Nov 2017 05:53:30 EST Yesterday Nothing can be done to beloved’s eye...”a cornea transplantation risks detachment” so somehow he has to live with a central scar in the middle of his cornea. We see the retina surgeon tomorrow and pray for decent news. No detachment is always good to hear! We bring in four dozen Krispy Kreme donuts every visit now to express our gratitude and thankfulness...and we’re bringing in two custom cigars too the surgeon who’s gluten intolerant! As for Mum, nothing is wrong with her kidney, labs sh... Tue, 14 Nov 2017 08:44:47 EST Full day Taking beloved to the eye doctor...then Mum to the urologist...another full day. Mon, 13 Nov 2017 07:36:10 EST Thanksgiving celebration at the Assisted Living I know one day I’ll be glad I had this day I will have regrets no matther what I do, but caregiving is exhausting, even though she’s six miles away. She’s negative and sometimes not nice. Today is the Thanksgiving Celebration party and I made cranberry bread and lentil soup. Think I’ll bring them both... Sun, 12 Nov 2017 07:25:58 EST Taking Mum to church We leave here at 0830, don’t take her back to her place until 630 pm. It’s a long day. We have a “special event”at the Assisted Living tomorrow, and my volunteering days are Monday and Tuesday, plus beloved AND Mum have appointments on Monday. . This month is booked with appointments every single day... Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:59:36 EST Cold and clear A perfect day for walking. Today is Veterans Day so beloved gets a free donut from Krispy Kreme! I’ll make sure we have a super healthy lunch.! Fri, 10 Nov 2017 07:43:58 EST Rainy Thursday Soft rain falling...great for the little trees we planted a few months ago. I love autumn but have to stay away from the warming “comfort food” that’s so nice when it’s cold. Thu, 9 Nov 2017 07:18:37 EST Mean old people Some of the old people are mean! There is an old woman at the Assisted Living who shoves people to get ahead in line, then she yells at them for shoving her! It’s funny, but not funny...someday she’ll knock someone over...early dementia, I suppose...two days of volunteering are over, this morning we have a lovely, slow start to our day. Wed, 8 Nov 2017 07:48:56 EST Rain today Fall is here in a beautiful way. The trees are glorious, it’s sprinkling with rain. Sweater weather! Tue, 7 Nov 2017 07:26:12 EST Full day Dance lessons..I’ll be so glad when they’re over. We have to take my new laptop takes forever to boot up and makes all kinds of grinding noises. Beloved thinks the hard drive is bad. I have lots of phone calls to make, Mum need to see a kidney doctor...then I’m volunteering today at the Springs... Mon, 6 Nov 2017 07:02:20 EST Safely home My brother-in-law “worked on “ our computers while we were nothing works. Still doing everything on my IPad, which I had with me. Everything is on the computers! Bummer... Sun, 5 Nov 2017 06:13:22 EST has Anyone gone low carb? How? Did it work? And I have to get on the scale...we both do, unfortunately my clothes are snug from two weeks of high living! <BR> Has anybody gone low carb? Did it work? Sat, 4 Nov 2017 04:44:54 EST Couldn’t live on a ship Many of our friends do...they spend 3 months on and a week at home! I need my happy home, my volunteering, my kitty, even Mum. It’s like chocolate...nice once in a while but not full time, not for us. It’s been a great, much needed break. We get in tomorrow and hope to drive all the way from New York to South Carolina... Fri, 3 Nov 2017 07:45:59 EST Being married...almost 43 years To have someone who thinks of me all the time, who understands my occasional moods and meltdowns....and still loves me. Knowing someone “has your back” and as the years pass it really IS for better and for worse...I am so blessed to have my beloved...and it’s mutual! Thu, 2 Nov 2017 07:27:10 EST Lots of walking All the nature trails we can find. Darling wild chickens, stunning peacocks, birds galore. Focus on the positive and push all fear out of my mind. Wed, 1 Nov 2017 07:51:40 EST Calm and cool Last night we returned to our room shortly after 7 pm. Had a glass of wine, watched an old movie on tv, and had lights out by nine. Slept through until 5 am, and when I awoke I focused on counting my blessings.... Tue, 31 Oct 2017 07:31:24 EST Couldn’t sleep...stormy seas Several scary jolts between midnight and 4 am...I know this ship can handle a tropical storm ...but we were sure lurching. Didn’t get much sleep last night! Mon, 30 Oct 2017 07:38:06 EST Heavy storm Glorious! Crashing wind, rain...howling...lots of heavy seas. More ship movement than last week. Bunches of people will be unhappy today! Sun, 29 Oct 2017 08:10:55 EST Quiet and cool Quiet and cool., calm Seas. Got some rain at day of rain here. Sat, 28 Oct 2017 07:14:59 EST