CHELLESGOALS36's SparkPeople Blog CHELLESGOALS36's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Checking in I have been beefing up my exercise more and watching my food. Last night and today though I fell into old habits. I ate like 5 rice krispy treats at work and today we were stuck in Medford at an unplanned appointment. SO we hit the pizza place.. NOw I am feeling exhausted. I was trying to make myself work out last night. I turned on the wii and turned it off and went to bed instead. <BR> Emotionally its been a hard week. We lost a resident at work Tuesday night and one of the residents I am... Thu, 17 Jan 2013 18:31:51 EST Day 2 <em>54</em> So Biggest loser workout takes days off in between. I still did yoga though on the biggest loser. Pretty good. While ringing in the new year I ll be with my elderly people at work which is always great for me. Im kicking off the year pretty strong. I realize I may have fallen off the horse quite a bit through out the year. But eventually if I keep getting up then I ll stay on the horse. <em>3</em> Mon, 31 Dec 2012 14:33:45 EST Pat on the back.. I think so! <em>249</em> Today I started the 4 week challenge on the biggest loser wii game. What a work out it was. It's a beginner 4 week challenge and I tell you plenty of squats this way and that way I did em. Sweat was rolling onto my living room floor. Then it was off to work.. I got over 12,000 steps today. I even made myself participate in the wii fit challenge for the week before bed. My body hurts but I feel awesome! <em>215</em> Mon, 31 Dec 2012 02:13:05 EST January goals! Not resolutions Last night I was remembering a friend of mine that was a police officer in Texas. He told me that in order to become a healthy whole person you had to be in balance. Officer Avant drew a picture of a triangle with spiritual, physical, and emotional health all mentioned. So this year Im working on these things to reach balance in my life. <em>100</em> <BR> 1. I'm going to get myself back to United Methodist Church most Sundays and not worry about what others think of me. <BR> 2. I'm goin... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 13:40:58 EST My tantrum (beware) <em>33</em> Gee wiz my day started off in the crapper. I went to the dentist first thing this morning and saw one that took over for my old dentist. I have to say I felt talked down too and criticized. She was so unprofessional that she pulled both of the assistants out of the room with a look of ol crap on her face. I asked her what the prob is and she ignored me. Then says oh you had a tooth extracted well yeah I could have told her that. Her side conversations while I were there in the ... Thu, 27 Dec 2012 13:26:40 EST Summing up my year <em>198</em> I am really trying to not beat myself up again and finding it hard not to do. <em>39</em> I am no where near where I wanted to be. I gained weight back and have been eating nothing but crap. I was blaming it on my new antidepressants and not sure what to say as of now. I am so disappointed in myself and saw myself in a full size mirror at a department store. I really gotta get my thinking straight. I keep telling myself that I do have a can do list of goals for the new ye... Sun, 23 Dec 2012 22:19:02 EST Re dos no more! While trying to sleep last night <em>102</em> a thought came to my head. Instead of calling my slip ups another redo. Why not call it a WILL DO! Redos allow me to continually start over and I tend to think oh I can just start over tomorrow. There is a reason why we have new days and fresh starts. It takes a while to make anything a new habit so if I say WILL DO then it will eventually stick in my head. Yes I will mess up but I don't have to start over. I can turn that redo into a will do!... Sat, 15 Dec 2012 15:22:53 EST days 12, 13, and 14 I thought it would be mundane as nothing is more exciting than working on sleep and exercise. I ve been down with a cold and sinuses but still manage to start my day off with a walk and get to bed on time. I have been sleeping in though. <BR> So Im going to just continue for this month and participate in team week ly challenges as well. January maybe I ll be more inclined to track my food more. Hard to want to work on that part right now. <BR> I have my cell phone down stairs so I have t... Fri, 14 Dec 2012 01:38:06 EST Day 11 with a little bit of whining and awesomeness <em>198</em> Ok just throwing it out there. My only day off and I have a head cold. I guess with the focus of positive thinking a good thing I have all day to whine about how crummy I feel. Even better I can watch movies all day as long as I get my wii fit in for the team challenge, <BR> <em>345</em> I haven't weighed in a while though. But I have beefed up my exercise and this morning my Butt fit in a size 14 Old Navy jeans and yes they buttoned! I really love these jeans they are my... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 14:32:38 EST Day 10 <em>224</em> I did it I got 11707 steps in today. I wondered if I was just getting busier at work that has made the difference. But not today! Today I actually got up at 7 am and at 9 I took my dogs out in the park again. We stayed out there for 30 minutes walking around. Im impressed that little changes like that make a big difference. <BR> Im still going to bed by midnight. Been doing my wii fit for the last three days. I feel wonderful and have energy Fri, 7 Dec 2012 02:27:06 EST day 9 still feeling good! I started my day at 8 am not seven which is till my plan to get out of bed. But hey 8 is better than 9 even if it took kisses from the puppy to get me up. <em>338</em> <BR> Started the day with a walk through the park, with my hubby and dogs. The rain let up. I came home and did my wii fit challenge for the week. I ate pretty well but had such a head ache at work that I took two advil and had soda and it was gone. Came home and had a few cookies but you know that's ok. Im just glad to b... Thu, 6 Dec 2012 01:54:11 EST Day 8 and it feels like the bginnning of my life <em>445</em> All of a sudden I feel like the anti depressants have kicked in. I actually had energy today. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever have any of it in my llife. I got up and did the wii fit challenge for the team. Went to work and didn't feel exhausted at all. I was smiling and couldn't stop. I went after work to the gym and did the treadmill for 30 minutes. I even ate pretty well too.. I had one candy bar but ate my regular meals and got my produce in. I just hope this is... Wed, 5 Dec 2012 02:04:15 EST day 6 and 7 combined Still trying to keep up with the blog so I can build consistency. Yesterday I took the day off from doing anything but walking the dogs through the park. I ate pretty well as far as meals go. Still getting to bed by midnight. I wish my blahs would go away. <BR> <em>24</em> Just feeling down and tired. The rain is kicking my butt.. <BR> So today I will be doing my wii fit. I signed up for spark coach and reset sparks and goals. I have a new spark friend that I am hoping we are able to co... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 20:22:41 EST Day5 Yesterday I did pretty good. Sill focusing on the sleep and exercise. I haven't been going to the gym but have been using the wii fit. Im not sure if I am just tired of being a part of new well or if its part of the depression not having an interest to get in there. 30 minutes on the wii. I did pretty good with food until I found chocolate cake in the break room. Work was so busy but I eneded up with over 8000 steps. Still haven't hit that 10000 yet. Sat, 1 Dec 2012 13:16:11 EST Day 4 I had a lot of appointments today that required travel time. The rain has been horrible and hasn't stopped. I got a chore done that I have been putting off for a while now. The dreaded night stand drawer and found all sorts of stuff. I will do my wii fit before bed. I found a team challenge and joined it on here. I am sleeping really well which is great considering I actually feel like I got some rest. Tonight I get to write in my journal about what my upbringing did for my self esteem. It ma... Thu, 29 Nov 2012 19:44:09 EST Day 3 with a few tweaks Today I had my doctors appointment and we are leaving my med the same for another month and see if I adjust better since its only been a month. So I went to counseling and since I have no appetite we are tweaking my plan just a little. My focus is on getting a regular routine of sleep and making sure to get 30 minutes of exercise 6 days a week. Then once the pills are adjusted I ll focus more on the food. So today I took myself outside for a bike ride and will do some wii fit before bed. So ... Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:45:55 EST Day 2 Still down and feeling Blah but I did it! I got myself to the gym and did my 30 minute circuit. Wrote in my food log and had my visit at the New well. I got a good nights rest and slept in till 9 30. Tonight Im not done.. Gotta do some more in my book and fill it out. Before bed I am going to try a yoga video. Thank you all for the support! Tue, 27 Nov 2012 20:23:27 EST 1st day was yesterday I ended up staying at work late due to a stressful night. So here goes yesterdays details. I didn't get 10000 steps in nor did I exercise so I guess that's my day off for the week. My steps were close though at 7800. Sleep I slept in quite a bit and fell asleep at midnight and up by 9 30. So I slept later than I would like but every now and then I have to make allowances with my work schedule differentiation. I did write down what I eat. I didn't eat as regularly as I'm still having unpleasa... Tue, 27 Nov 2012 12:57:05 EST Enough is Enough! My 14 day program So still adjusting to anti depressants and have been really low this week. Its not fun when people point out how down you really seem. So I finally received my Self Esteem workbook recommended by a counselor. I have never seen anything so awesome that actually breaks down into a 120 day program. Here's the 14 day program starting tomorrow. <BR> 1. Turn my tv off at 11 and get up by 7 am <BR> 2. 30 minutes of exercise 6 days a week <BR> 3. Log everything I eat <BR> 4. Practice hygiene(ski... Sun, 25 Nov 2012 12:02:07 EST Feeling crappy and new some support I switched my antidepressants to am instead of pms. I am feeling lower than normal but have been sleeping a lot since making the change. When I was taking them at night I wasn't sleeping at all. I just don't have any energy and feel on a rollercoaster that just doesn't stop. I was excited last week about the contest and now trying tog et myself to the gym is a chore. I don't understand why I can't be consistently positive and make positive changes. I know I have to fight everyday but today I ... Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:58:36 EST Nothing like a good contest to light my spark I have made it to the gym twice this week due to the Little Black dress contest at the New Well. If I get two visits in, 3 workouts and a relaxation chair session in for 6 weeks I get put in the drawing for a gift card to buy that little black dress. There are also weekly drawings each week. I am really excited. <BR> I started my 40 mg of my antidepressant yesterday and was up til 4 am. It is so hard to adjust to this when I was at 20mg. However Eyeores cloud is gone and I feel like a new w... Thu, 15 Nov 2012 19:13:59 EST Feel my groove coming back I made it to the gym yesterday and today. Yesterday I went to use the treadmill and then the relaxation chair. I ended up doing a short visit with a friend from NewWell who gave me a lot of support and has noticed that I have been slowly isolating myself. <BR> I also made it to the gym today and did the new well circuit which is like curves and then hit the treadmill for half an hour on random. I really enjoyed being back there and it sure felt good. Im only on my second week on my anti depr... Thu, 8 Nov 2012 21:24:58 EST trying to find my why I have heard that the reason behind wanting to get healthy has to be so important that it makes you cry. Im just not there... I know that I want to get healthy and fit so I don't struggle at work and don't end up with a lot of the health problems my older residents struggle with daily. My daughter is 16 and we have been teaching her to eat healty at home but not so much when we eat out. I want to show her that I can become healthier and positive so Im always there for her. My marriage I want ... Wed, 7 Nov 2012 12:42:28 EST To Excersise or not to exercise!before and after As I had my coffee and breakfast this morning i thought I really should exercise. I have been feeling down with a cloud over me and no energy what so ever. So I made myself get up and do a one mile walk away the pounds video. After the video I felt like oxygen was moving through my body and a little spunk b ut s till a cloud. I took a hot shower and did my hair and face. Then looked in the mirror and said dang I look good even in my work uniform. I realize ther's hope that this depression wi... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 14:02:34 EST candy problem no more <em>39</em> Yes its true I just couldnn't stay away from the tootsie rolls and laffy taffy at work since Thursday. Yesterday I tried to say no more candy but it was sitting in the room with the time clock that I had to punch. So today I had a moment of triumph with a little help from my watch and a post it. On the post it I wrote no candy and taped it to the back of my watch. My watch is a little big for me so everytime I move my hand no candy pops up. It worked I didn't eat any candy at a... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 01:28:31 EST Down in the dumpers! Ok so today I went for my dr.s appointment convinced something was wrong with my kidneys and ended up leaving with nothing wrong with my kidneys(thank God) but a fresh diagnoses of depression and a 30 day supply of antidepressants. I have been fighting this for so long and now feel frustrated because not only am I looking for a counselor now I need these pills. I work hard and try to do the best I can all to no avail. Im not sleeping at night and I wake up crying in the morning. Im good at hi... Wed, 31 Oct 2012 19:21:35 EST excuses excuses! Okay so spark coach says to list my excuses so here I go. The beginning of no more EXCUSES! <BR> I walk all shift at work so I am way too tired now. <BR> I don't want to <BR> Bored <BR> I just don't feel good <BR> why bother the scale hasn't moved <BR> I already blew it <BR> My body just hurts <BR> I am sure there are other ones but these are my regulars. I can couter all of this by just doing it anyway! The boredom I can try different things and I can make time. I don't have to go to th... Tue, 30 Oct 2012 16:28:04 EST Positive changes I may not have moved the scale a lot either way but I am becoming more positive just by reading the inspirational quotes. Im taking care of myself more and making healthier choices in food. I still have work to do but things are looking up Mon, 29 Oct 2012 01:42:20 EST awesome day today My first day of nit rushing to school or spending a day stressing over projects was awesome. I slept in and had to fast for myblood draw today. After that I went and got a bagel and a coffee for a late breakfast. Then went shopping for meat. I came home felt a little down with the weather being cold and wet so I put on a coat and went for a 30minute bike ride outside. I made it up and down the hills but loved the speed and the wind. Who would of thought that I would enjoy bike riding in my 30... Wed, 24 Oct 2012 01:14:52 EST Defining success my aha I cram my schedule to full the extent that I just can't devote 100 percent to anything. I decided to take a look and see what was really important to me and how I define success for myself not someone else's idea and not even my hubby. So in doing that I am making some huge changes... Whats important to me? My family, my health, doing what I love to do annd who would have thought I love my job. Things that I enjoy are square dancing, shooting and my pajama days and I love Sparking! I keep fo... Tue, 23 Oct 2012 02:05:10 EST ouch!!! <em>46</em> Still feeling like crap and today I didn't walk the dog, my pedometer fell off and I finally decided to eat while at school. I ate a calzone. Do you know how many calories are in one of those? A whole whopping 1000 calories in just one calzone. I read my Bible posted though got a chapter of homework done. Today is frustrating and I wish this dang cold would go away as I need some serious sleep Fri, 12 Oct 2012 00:19:29 EST Proud of myself!! Little steps do count Today I woke up with a head cold. I still get myself up, ready for work and did my scheduled appointments. I forgor my phone today and my key ring for work. The one thing I actually remembered was my pedometer. I didn't eat alot today because I have the head cold thing going on. I still reached my fast break goals today. I managed to not have soda even though I wanted a sprite. I walked my dog even though only a block I did ti feeling crummy and I read sever positive quotes today to keep me f... Thu, 11 Oct 2012 01:44:09 EST Chapter 2 AHA! My homework I finished reading the articles on self talk today. It's another tool that I can choose to use. So starting tonight I am going to write one affirmation I love and accept myself just as I am and one goal to weigh less than 200 pounds by Christmas Day 15 times a day before bed for one month. I will start here and reevaluate and add a new affirmation after that. By choosing to do this I choose to not linger in negativity!! Thu, 13 Sep 2012 19:43:07 EST Negative self talk no more! A letter to myself Dear Michelle, <BR> I know that you have struggled with your weight loss journey for a while now and have voices in your head that put you down and discourage you. Here's the thing Don't Give up. I am here to support you by listening and encouraging you. When you are down remember the changes you have made so far. <BR> For instance you once weighed 251 pounds, you took a new position at work that you were scared to death to do, you are kind and care deeply for our residents. Life isn't all ... Thu, 6 Sep 2012 20:50:42 EST Where did my focus go? Looking back at my weight loss journey I went from 251 pounds all the way to 205.Then I went back up as the thought of reaching that 200 goal mark scared me to death. I used excuses that I have already accomplished so much. I love my job and when I began my journey I was sweating bullets at work as a med aid and caregiver in an assisted living home. I was exhausted and once I reachd 205 I thought I was satisfied. However emotional keeps getting in my weigh and I am back at 217.5 pounds. <BR... Sun, 2 Sep 2012 21:36:16 EST 10 things about me <BR> ten things about me: <BR> 1. I am a medication aid <BR> 2. I am a student <BR> 3. have a 16 year old <BR> 4.married for 16 years <BR> 5.Love to read <BR> 6. watch Greys Anatomy and Private Practice <BR> 7.Penguins are my favorite <BR> 8.I love to try new things <BR> 9. I have a sense of humor <BR> 10. I am a Dallas Cowboy fan <em>213</em> Wed, 2 Mar 2011 01:05:58 EST