CHAOSTHEORY635's SparkPeople Blog CHAOSTHEORY635's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community where we left off, and what happened next Warning: this is not a happy post, and may contain some medical information you can't un-know. <BR> <BR> Last time I posted was 3/4/2014. Five days later, my childhood best friend shot himself. I started having panic attacks on a daily basis. I had to TA during the worst possible quarter--I had been slated to present at two conferences. <BR> <BR> But I went to counseling, got through it, had a nice week and a half conferencecationing in Japan. While I was there, I made the somewhat r... Fri, 24 Jul 2015 19:40:15 EST being sane about food and fitness stuff is nice Confession: when I very first started lifting, back in 2008, it was because I had gained something like 25 lbs over the course of college. I was pretty skinny and sort of athletic in high school, thanks to a few years of tae kwon do, but then I got lazy. <BR> <BR> For the past few years I've been lifting and it has done awesome things for my body. I probably weigh ten pounds more than I did in high school, and I'm like a pants size up from then, but I'm OK with that--plenty of things hav... Wed, 5 Mar 2014 15:40:37 EST slacker slacker slacker Grad school is eating my life. I've been sick for the past week and am finally over it. Haven't been sleeping enough, eating as well as usual, or working out (except for naked cardio). <BR> <BR> I know, I know, these are lame excuses--but the sick thing, that was an obstacle. I'm pretty much over it and ready to get back to Crossfit today...for my first group class in a very, very long time. It's not barbell, but at least we're cleaning today... Tue, 25 Feb 2014 12:54:34 EST sometimes life gets in the way Well, I wanted to do two or three powerlifting meets this year, but I might not be doing any at all. I submitted an abstract a while back for a conference in April, and they graciously awarded me a TALK (!! hard to get as a grad student!) so I'm going to be in San Francisco for five days...and I would be driving home the day before that meet. Yeah, no thanks. A week of little sleep and much drinking and no lifting and lots of sitting, right before competing? Recipe for disaster. It's som... Thu, 30 Jan 2014 15:06:05 EST are abs? <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Today I was changing and I caught a very unfamiliar sight out of the corner of my eye. I still wonder if it's a trick of the lighting and I'm sorry the pic is terrible quality! <BR> <BR> I'm not at my leanest, or at least I don't THINK I am, and I wasn't at all strict about my diet through the entirety of December (except I did try to eat enough, mostly). Of course, the wicked puking hangover I woke up with o... Sat, 4 Jan 2014 02:59:42 EST mission See, now I'm just confused. Eating more means lifting is way more pleasant and I start to PR on things again (10 pounds on my front squat!), but does it mean I gain weight again? I was up 4 lbs last week. I don't know if it's slacker weight or too much sugar or too much stress or what. Now I'm back to my usual weight, after a trip to the synchrotron, which is WEIRD because that's a few straight days of little activity and lots of stress and little sleep. I don't know if I should expect a... Fri, 6 Dec 2013 16:07:13 EST week one with the UP band: quick lessons from the data So far, I have learned a few things. <BR> <BR> - I'm really bad at sleeping. I wake up at least four times every night. I thought I was doing well in this regard because I'm in bed for at least 8-9 hours...but apparently only sleeping 6-7 of them! This has been insightful. I'm still sort of establishing a baseline and soon I'll see what's affecting my sleep patterns. Too much caffeine? <BR> <BR> - I can eat kind of a lot, not gain any weight, and get stronger. 2000-2500 calories/day... Thu, 21 Nov 2013 12:56:06 EST eating enough, flu shot and the data bracelet I just got an UP band. It's a rad little piece of technology...tiny accelerometers measure your activity level and your sleep. Pretty comfortable and not terribly obnoxious to wear on a daily basis. Easy to use. So far I like it, except last night it stopped tracking my sleep in the middle of the No technology is perfect. I have yet to take it through a lifting workout...we'll see how that does. <BR> <BR> I got the quadrivalent flu shot a few days ago and it has been kick... Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:57:45 EST crunching the numbers: women lifters and eating enough I lifted consistently through the last cycle of Oly and didn't PR on anything. My teammates did...I didn't. I started suspecting that I might not have been eating enough. After a little digging through the lit, it turns out this was probably the case. I stopped tracking because I was trying to cut and it made me crazy, but I estimate I was probably eating 1500-1800 kcal/day. <BR> <BR> There aren't a lot of reputable sources on nutrition requirements for athletic women. What's out ther... Fri, 8 Nov 2013 15:15:29 EST i don't keep up well Moved in with the boy this month. It's going well so far. Also there is a squat rack in my garage now. <BR> <BR> However, I'm not really using it yet. Barbell club has resumed and now I get my butt kicked three times a week. The workouts are high-volume and Oly lifting-centric. I'm keeping things light and not overdoing them like I did last time I trained the o-lifts. It's not like me to NOT load the bar like crazy, but last time I failed to learn decent technique (still no third pull)... Tue, 10 Sep 2013 21:08:22 EST i love lifting (even when i'm not doing it) I just took a week and a half out of the gym, most of which I spent in KY with family. I was not ambitious enough to work out at all...and I ate most of a carton of ice cream...and had cheesecake for dinner on one occasion. I can count on one hand the number of times I ate vegetables on that trip, otherwise it was all processed meats, cheese, (gluten-free) cereal and ice cream. <BR> <BR> Got back, stepped on scale. Didn't gain a pound. No slacker weight or anything. The barbell has be... Thu, 15 Aug 2013 11:41:53 EST 17%, srsly?! and tales of lab hazards. Backstory: I freaking love Amazon. Have one of their cards, use it for everything, get free stuff all the time. And I'm too cheap to pay for Prime so usually I just end up ordering in nominally-over-$25 shipments. (But they're often FREE, because card.) <BR> <BR> Found a set of bodyfat calipers on there while struggling to make an order ship for free. They were like $6. Not bad, eh? I don't care THAT much but I like data a lot and the price is right. BIA scales are full of it--I dec... Sat, 27 Jul 2013 03:28:43 EST work is crazy, life is crazy I've been absolutely inundated with things that need to be done lately. Extra stress and beamline travel have meant I haven't worked out as frequently as usual...last week I took off five days from lifting. This was completely involuntary. I am annoyed by my lack of progress in getting stronger. It's been over a year since I hit a deadlift PR and I'm trying to fix that. <BR> <BR> The good news is that I've finally accepted that I can get away with not lifting as frequently or as intens... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:21:19 EST "f*** you, i won't do what you tell me" month: update! Well, I'm three weeks into doing only what I feel like doing in the gym now, and it's going pretty well. I've hit rep PRs on a lot of lifts and I got to 20# on my weighted pullups (which is a pretty sweet PR, especially considering I'm a little heavier than I was when I had 18# two years ago). In fact, I'm enjoying it so much I'm considering sticking with it a little longer. <BR> <BR> I've dropped my gym membership down from unlimited to 3 days a week. I'm incredibly busy now, and my bo... Thu, 23 May 2013 18:28:14 EST dicking around in the gym I'm off-program. So far off I don't know what I'm training for, so I'm sort of in limbo. I know I'm not dropping another weight class, but I'm also not discounting the possibility of fat loss. I'll probably do another powerlifting meet in September, but that's a ways off, and I still like Oly lifting so I might do it on the side. <BR> <BR> Right now I'm focusing on some physical therapy-related stuff. One of the coaches at my gym has talked me into going through a foundations cycle to ... Mon, 6 May 2013 20:34:09 EST two weeks is not enough time to train for a meet. Well, I had the powerlifting meet this past weekend, and it didn't go quite as well as I had hoped. Didn't PR any lifts, though I was close on the bench! Did total 545, which is 5 lbs more than my last two meets. It's not as much as I'd've liked--a 16-year-old girl DESTROYED my numbers--but I'm OK with it. It's really difficult to cut weight while getting stronger. Maybe even impossible. I was thinking about going down to 110 (keep in mind, I'm just under 5'1!) but my coach says I'm bet... Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:19:15 EST first Oly meet: done and over Well, I competed in Olympic lifting for the first time on Saturday. It went about as well as expected. There was a super-strong woman in my weight class who had only been O-lifting through Crossfit for THREE MONTHS but had pretty impressive technique. Also, an 18-year-old girl took best lifter out of all the women. Impressive! I am nowhere near as strong as I need to be to actually be competitive in o-lifting, but I did it anyway and I'm glad. <BR> <BR> Snatch was tricky because I don... Mon, 8 Apr 2013 12:07:32 EST and...physical therapy Finally got to go in and get assessed for my back issues, and now there's a long list of things I should be working on. <BR> <BR> - My pelvis is asymmetric. Also, anteriorly tilted. <BR> - Left piriformis is significantly tighter than the right one. Stretching this is a little weird. <BR> - Weeeeeeeak abs. Kinda weak glutes, too. (One of my coaches called this--told me I would hear it from the PT.) <BR> - Right lat is a little tighter than the left? <BR> <BR> I'm not too bad off for now... Tue, 2 Apr 2013 23:54:15 EST setback I have a meet this Saturday...and my elbows aren't in good shape. It's just a little tendinitis, and it won't be a big deal over the long term because I'm resting and icing and taking fish oil and all those other things I'm doing because I know I should. <BR> <BR> It's a bit of an annoyance, more than anything. I haven't slept super well lately (hello life stress), so I'm not moving or recovering well. I know this will affect my performance, but there's not much else I can do. <BR> <BR... Mon, 1 Apr 2013 19:41:26 EST top 5 most sore...GO! BROCCOLIJOLI and GIANTMICROBE started this, so I'll continue it. Can you name the five workouts that have left you most sore? I think I can... <BR> <BR> 5. The barbell team started on this gnarly squat hypertrophy program. I think it began with 4 sets of 9 reps. I think I did them at something like 120 or 130 lbs. I hadn't been squatting regularly before this, and it was the first workout for which I switched over to high bar instead of low bar. Wore the booty shorts of pain for a whil... Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:11:10 EST 123.4 YESSSSSSSSSS. I had to step on the scale twice this morning because I didn't believe what I saw at first...but it's true! I'm finally in the 123 class for powerlifting! This is still a solid six weeks out, too, so I can just focus on continuing to eat pretty clean and train really hard and I'll probably drop another pound or two without really trying. This will be nice because it's good to have some leeway :) <BR> <BR> Especially because last weekend wasn't particularly healthy (tequilaa... Fri, 15 Mar 2013 13:12:19 EST OMG YOU GUYS The supercute correctly tailored dress pants that have only been hanging around in my closet for the past five years? The ones that are, like, a size three? <BR> <BR> They ALMOST fit me now. <BR> <BR> And the awesome VICTORY PANTS that have fit me *once* for all of a month-long stretch in the past four years? <BR> <BR> I'll be in them by the end of next month. <BR> <BR> I am *thisclose* to the size I was before I gained 20 pounds of broken engagement, and I'm 10 pounds heavier than I w... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 23:01:42 EST consistency. I'm back from ANOTHER synchrotron trip, and thankfully I won't be going anywhere else until May. I didn't like missing an entire week of training. Tried to PR on my o-lifts and couldn't, though I DID hit my old PR (93 lbs) on clean & jerk (which has been elusive for a while). My technique has improved significantly, to the point that my workout yesterday involved hitting singles at up to 95% of my max and I didn't miss a single lift. Usually I am less consistent with heavier loading, so t... Fri, 8 Mar 2013 13:06:46 EST looks like i will actually be lifting in the right weight class this time! Well, for the first time in over a year, I'm back under 125 lbs. (Remember, y'all, I'm all of 5'1.) Barely. But it still counts, and it's pretty nice. I have two meets coming up in April--Oly on 4/6 and powerlifting on 4/27. Weight classes for Oly are not a concern because I'm lifting in the 58kg (so I have to be under 127, which I am). For PL I did my last two meets in the 132 class, but now I'm very confident I'll be lifting in the 123.5. <BR> <BR> Someone else came along and broke... Fri, 15 Feb 2013 13:06:41 EST quickly, my life I'm a little busy lately (if that weren't obvious). Some quick notes from the past month or two: <BR> <BR> - Megadoses of Vitamin D appear to be effectively addressing my massive seasonal depression. This year has been worse than usual because it's so damn cold. Yes, I know I live in central CA, but MY HOUSE HAS NO HEAT. And no insulation. So I freeze. And it hasn't been sunny as much as usual, but that appears to be changing. December and early January saw me pretty cranky and having... Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:24:19 EST tired of running around For the past three weeks I've been out of town at least two or three days. Somehow I'm holding it together despite being crazy-stressed. I did end up eating pumpkin pie for breakfast, like, several days straight over Thanksgiving...but that's over and I'm back to cooking (if only because I have a box of CSA veg to get through by Wednesday). <BR> <BR> On Wednesday I head home for a week. It was going to be sort of a vacation and then I got contacted by my undergrad advisor asking me to g... Mon, 3 Dec 2012 12:21:04 EST cancellation Well, awesome seminar speaker cancelled due to illness. This means I've been way less stressed out this week and have been actively trying to relax and sleep more. I've been less productive, but it's a good thing, because I was probably on the verge of getting sick and that doesn't go well with a beamline trip. I'll be running x-ray experiments at weird, long hours next week. It's always awesome and exhausting at the same time. <BR> <BR> I've been trying to go to some of the actual Cross... Thu, 8 Nov 2012 13:39:40 EST and into a month of crazy The next six weeks are going to be pretty far off from normal. Next week I'm hosting a big-deal-science-lady seminar speaker and giving group meeting while she's here. This means I need to put together a good talk! And understand all my data! Because what she's done is directly related to one of my projects. <BR> <BR> The week after that I run off to the beamline for a few days. Then I go see my cousins for Thanksgiving. Then more beam time the week after Thanksgiving. Then I go home ... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 10:34:15 EST i survived! the zombie run, that is. I had one flag left at the end :) <BR> <BR> I was slightly disappointed that I walked as much of the course as I did--I think I only ran about a third of the 5k. But, in my defense, HOLY SH!T HILLS. The terrain was rugged and steep. And we all kinda tried to conserve energy so we could sprint away from zombies. <BR> <BR> I do wish there had been more obstacles and that they had been more challenging. I was one of few 5'1 girls who successfully vaulted over th... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 01:30:19 EST a month later... Sparse blogging these days. Sorry, y'all! <BR> <BR> I've ramped my activity levels back up to roughly normal for me. This means I can work out more than three times a week without feeling like I'm not recovering well. YAY! <BR> <BR> I've also started working out with the Barbell Club at my gym. The programming is fun and challening, and the people are cool. Some of the girls are doing their first Oly meet tomorrow. I don't see myself competing in it anytime soon, but it could happen... Fri, 19 Oct 2012 13:07:34 EST laserlike. Well, y'all, things went south with the guy I had just started seeing and had decided I was actually excited about. (It's a complicated situation involving a polyamorous entanglement; I should have known better, and now I do.) Suffice it to say that this year has been a pretty long streak of I decide I'm interested in actually maybe dating...changing his mind and/or rejecting me for another woman. At one point I would have gotten crazy-insecure over it, and I'd be lying if... Wed, 19 Sep 2012 13:21:06 EST i am considering doing something stupid. My coach just got USAW-certified and is trying to put together a team of Oly lifters. I...have never really been on a team of anything. And I suck at the o-lifts. But they're fun. <BR> <BR> I'm inclined to do it anyway... Tue, 11 Sep 2012 02:17:13 EST not sure how it started, but i'm going to run with it... Well, after a full week back, I'm still hovering around 131.* So that's down ~5 lbs from before vacation. Groovy! I'm also finally starting to lean out a little and see some long-anticipated results. YESSSSSSSSSSSS! <BR> <BR> I think this success has been largely due to breaking the sugar addiction, and for this I credit the catering at the summer school I attended. Most of the desserts were gluteny. Sure, I dissected a few slices of pie and didn't stress over it, but for the most part... Tue, 4 Sep 2012 09:12:32 EST a month of few workouts, little sleep, and excessive tequila consumption yields... a loss of ~3 pounds and about an inch all over. <BR> <BR> I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS HAPPENED, Y'ALL. <BR> <BR> Conclusion: tequila is magical? Or maybe three weeks of DOE catering just makes me lose interest in food. It definitely doesn't make sense. I found a Scandinavian candy store in NYC and that was DANGEROUS. <BR> <BR> In all seriousness, I'm back home from my month of epic travel. Got to meet the new fellowship cohort. Wandered around Brooklyn (cool!) and Manhattan (largely... Mon, 27 Aug 2012 23:50:58 EST it works! My Crossfit coach has been programming for us with an emphasis on endurance and running. We're only a few weeks into it... <BR> but I've shaved almost 30 seconds off my mile. 9:12! (Yeah, I know, NOT FAST! Short stride, lazy lungs.) Sun, 29 Jul 2012 01:57:44 EST quick blag things of note: <BR> - benched 100 lbs for 3 reps UNDER TEMPO today :) this is nominally just 5 lbs under my max, so i'm probably good for more! exciting! <BR> <BR> - finally went in for ADD meds. should have done this years ago! i can actually concentrate for more than five minutes at a stretch! it's awesome! <BR> <BR> things i'll be doing soon: <BR> - visiting three national labs in the span of a month and playing with shiny x-rays <BR> <BR> - going home! <BR> <BR> things i'm con... Sat, 28 Jul 2012 00:59:45 EST chocolate is delicious; running makes me angry I made the mistake of picking up a bag of chocolates...dark chocolates with coconut filling and milk chocolate covered cherries. And I ate kind of a lot of them today. And then I felt a little queasy from all the sugar and took a loooooong nap... <BR> <BR> I didn't think I was going to make it to Crossfit, but I did, just in time...5x5 on high bar back squats, and 6x400 meter sprints with two minutes' rest. <BR> <BR> While I'm not bad at squats, I am a powerlifter...and I never, ever sq... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:32:46 EST i found my intensity again. I'm back to eating pretty effortlessly Paleo. How do I know this? Caught myself getting inordinately excited over having salad for dinner. (An awesome arugula chicken salad with kohlrabi, apple, avocado, green onion, pecans & gorgonzola cheese.) The sugar cravings just aren't there anymore :D I credit fruit with some of it, but the sticker system is working pretty well too! If I get more than three stickers in a week, I can have a little chocolate on the weekends :D The chocolates are ... Thu, 12 Jul 2012 02:38:53 EST less data, more progress? Alright y'all: I'm ditching my scale until the day before I leave for the beamline. This is just under 2 weeks. After a reset of sorts, I've been back on Paleo and have just now gotten to a point where I'm not tracking everything I eat. I'm not a sugar fiend anymore (FINALLY), but I'm not entirely out of the danger zone with it yet either. I credit a backyard full of fruit trees. There is just SO MUCH in season that I find myself choosing it over chocolate. (Local cherries here? You'd ... Mon, 9 Jul 2012 02:49:48 EST holidays... The Fourth could have been much more disastrous than it was! Mostly I just ate steak and veggies with a little dessert (I made a custardization, my friend Sam made an apricot crisp, and both were very low in sugar) and just a few shots ;) <BR> But it threw me off in terms of scheduling. I haven't gotten any stars this week because I've failed to even make lists! Bad! Bad! Need to get back on it. <BR> In other news, I tried sled dragging for the first time today. SO MUCH FUN! SO DIFFICU... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 21:23:29 EST summer fitness goals! Well, the meet is over, and I'm free to work on other things now! My Crossfit gym is going to start about two months of hardcore running endurance emphasis. I'll miss one due to travel. I hate running AND endurance stuff, so I need to get better at both :) <BR> <BR> Here's the list of stuff I'll be working on, with my current standing in parentheses: <BR> <BR> - Sub-9 minute mile (9:40) <BR> - Run a 5K without stopping (2 miles) <BR> - 30 chest-to-floor pushups on toes (haven't tested ye... Mon, 2 Jul 2012 17:50:00 EST things i don't want to do again I weighed in a little heavy (by a little less than a pound on my scale) the morning before the meet. This was no bueno for obvious reasons, y'all. I really didn't want to compete a class up! Sooooo I fasted for 20 hours, drank as little water as I could, and chewed a lot of gum. (Spitting: unpleasant but effective in the short term.) And I weighed in, officially, 0.8 pounds under the limit :) <BR> <BR> Aaaaaand then I went out and ate ALL THE THINGS. (Went to a Greek place, then a sush... Mon, 2 Jul 2012 01:35:29 EST YOU GUYS. <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Stickers are MAGIC! I am suddenly way more motivated to get stuff done! Every day, I make a short list (3-5 items, max) of things I need to get done. Sometimes it's "pay car insurance". Sometimes it's "feed kitties soft food" (normally they get hard food). Sometimes it's "analyze ALL THE GIWAXS DATA!" or "Go to Oly workshop." If I get through all these things, and then tackle something else I've been putting ... Tue, 26 Jun 2012 14:09:18 EST stalling I'm actually a little concerned about making weight for this meet, y'all. I'm hovering right at 132 and change and need to be under 132 when I weigh in on Thursday or Friday. Don't want to take any drastic measures the morning-of that will sap my strength. Don't want to restrict calories or do anything that will jeopardize my performance on the platform! <BR> <BR> I think I've decided to go in a hardcore Crossfit/fat loss direction for a few months after this meet is over. I will probabl... Mon, 25 Jun 2012 13:53:45 EST focus (a long and rambling update) First things first--I'm back from Ireland, the trip was FANTASTIC, the conference was great, etc. I was really taken aback by the exceptional friendliness and hospitality shown by EVERY.SINGLE.LOCAL I met (except the one jerk in Limerick who punched my friend in the face for no reason, but that's beside the point). It was super cool to see castles. (The thought: THIS BUILDING IS THREE TIMES OLDER THAN MY COUNTRY! ...whoa.) <BR> <BR> I didn't lift once in two weeks, and I missed it sorely,... Thu, 21 Jun 2012 13:44:39 EST do ALL THE THINGS It's been a crazy week, y'all, and it's going to be a crazy month. <BR> <BR> Proof: June started with me not falling all the way off a cliff. I only fell a LITTLE ways down the cliff. Lesson learned: don't climb in hiking boots. Even if they are all you have with you. Even if the rocks look really kind with giant hand and footholds. Falling is scary and will scrape you up a bit (at best). <BR> <BR> It was nice, in a way, to be out doing these things. I've never been a particularly "o... Sun, 3 Jun 2012 23:23:55 EST oh. right. stress should lead to deadlifts instead. I'm a little frazzled trying to prepare for this conferencecation, y'all. Lots of data to collect! Lots of paper restructuring to do! Kind of a lot going on. I've made the mistake of sugarbombing myself over the past few days. At least today I picked up a tiny slice of gluten-free chocolate cake instead of a pint of ice cream. Not as bad as it could have been. <BR> <BR> I ended up stress deadlifting again. I forgot just how effective this is. All the other lifts, I'm better off kinda... Fri, 25 May 2012 03:18:29 EST stress leads to chocolate I just found out my conference abstract was accepted and I'm headed to Ireland in 3 weeks! This is awesome! But...very stressful! So many things to do between now and then! <BR> <BR> So I've had a nutritionally abysmal weekend. And I'm OK with that in a way, because there is certainly much more to life than how I look (which doesn't really change much over the course of just a weekend anyway, no matter what I do). But I don't feel so hot. We had girls' night last night with a "potluc... Sun, 20 May 2012 20:33:26 EST i think i'm addicted Uhhhh...I'm signing up for another powerlifting meet. It's eight weeks away. There's a chance I'll be competing in the 123 weight class this time! This is where I wanted to be for the last meet, before life-stress took over...I've done pretty well with healthy-like eating lately, so I think I can keep it up without stressing over it. There is a point at which it gets easier, and I think I'm there. 4.5 pounds in 8 weeks? Maybe doable, we'll see. It would be pretty sweet to set a state r... Fri, 4 May 2012 00:06:38 EST things, and stuff, and more things Whoa, my lungs didn't like today's workout! I can tell the inflammation from last week is gone but there's still fluid in there. It's OK, though, I think I coughed most of it up after the WOD today. It's disheartening to have to go back on asthma meds temporarily--it was SO AWESOME to drop them after discovering Paleo--but the steroid inhaler is what they'd be prescribing me anyway if I went to the doctor. I'm recovered enough that I'm confident I have no need for antibiotics (another per... Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:24:14 EST