CHALDEAPERUANA's SparkPeople Blog CHALDEAPERUANA's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Another hurdle in the game of [my new and improved] life Man, what a trip. It's been approx 3 weeks since I've really buckled down with this whole weight loss goal. I've lost 8-9 pounds so far, and I'm really proud of myself. BUT...yes, there's a but in there...I can't help but think "well, why just 8 pounds?" "Did you *really* need to eat that extra slice of bread?" "You couldn't bike an extra mile today?". I just can't seem to satisfy myself sometimes. <BR> <BR> When I do something, I go all out. I commit myself 100% and give it my all. What a d... Wed, 1 Aug 2012 00:49:27 EST Another check off on the bucket list For about 4 months now, I've been wanting a bicycle. I haven't owned a bike in let's say...15 years. 4 months ago was when I decided I wanted to buckle down and change my lifestyle and get healthier, and it happened, but it took me FOUR MONTHS to get used to some difficult changes! Fortunately, I am here where I want to be in life- but without a bike! So yesterday I thought I'd just check out some bikes again (I never ended up buying one 4 months ago because I didn't think I'd stick to workin... Tue, 24 Jul 2012 09:43:15 EST Not a guilt-free progress So, yesterday I made it a point to consume more calories since I've been eating fewer and fewer calories every day (see last post for full story) and I'm not gonna lie, it was definitely hard. I couldn't help but think I was going to gain weight in some way. I topped off the day with 1,700 calories, which is 700 more than I usually do. I do feel guilty, I feel like I didn't have any discipline and I feel like I should've capped off at 1,400 at least. I did, however, talk to my personal traine... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 09:16:36 EST Overkill My calorie consumption goal is 1200 calories. Lately, I've been at 1,000. I'm going lower and lower every day. I've either been too busy to eat, or I'm too afraid. I'm very well aware that my body is going to go into "starvation" mode and I won't be losing wait- I'll be gaining weight if I don't eat enough, but I'm afraid I'll let myself go if I allow myself to eat more. It's a struggle that I'm going to have to get over, because I'm not going to do myself any good by depriving my body from m... Sat, 21 Jul 2012 22:56:45 EST My breaking point Today was by far the hardest day I've had since I've cut out sugar, junk food, bread (except for sprouted bread), pasta, fast food...basically anything that's not a fruit, vegetable, chicken, or fish. <BR> <BR> I'm a pretty emotional person when it comes to certain things. When I heard about the shooting in that movie theater in Colorado, I immediately became so sad and stressed about the whole situation. Frustration came over me as I tried to understand how and why somebody could do somethi... Fri, 20 Jul 2012 21:08:01 EST If I lost a pound for every time I heard this... ...I'd look like a stick figure. <BR> <BR> "I thought we were friends, why don't you pick up my 3,474,593 phone calls or answer my 9,035,643 texts?" <BR> <BR> Ever just been really stressed out, and then you just get a text from somebody out of the blue criticizing your friend skills? Yeah, I got one of those today. It's odd, because we never talked much to begin I'm just going to settle with "she's having a bad day." <BR> <BR> Ya know, today was going pretty good until that happ... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 23:53:51 EST Why am I here? Well, the answer is simple. I can't do this on my own. <BR> <BR> I have tried to change my life style several times before, obviously not quite successful. <BR> <BR> I wouldn't call it a total flop, though. I look at it as a long (very, very long) warm up session. <BR> <BR> When I started this "for real" the first time, it was September 2011. Prior to that, I attempted this back in 2010 around the same time, but I lasted a week or two I think. I was depriving myself from most foods and ha... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 22:53:52 EST Okay, got some raw chicken. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with it? Alright, so since fast food is out of the question and since I've made it a goal to prepare my own food, I am left to fend for myself. I often order take out because it's so convenient, but it can also get so expensive. At this point, I'd much rather spend the money on a weeks worth of meat, fruit, and vegetables. Plus, at 24, I think it's time to learn how to cook, eh? :) <BR> <BR> I went to Whole Foods today and bought so many goodies. I bought hormone-free, antibiotic-free, and cage-free ... Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:28:35 EST Accomplished I frequently visit a park near by my home that has a giant hill in the middle of it. It's such a wonderful place to work out. The trails flow through the entire park and is 1 mile long. <BR> <BR> Every time I visit, I walk up the hill, catch my breath, then walk back down. I do this about 5-10 times, depending on how exhausted I am. As I arduously climbed up, I always wished and dreamed that I could run up this beast. <BR> <BR> A couple of months ago, I had this eagerness in me to just run... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 21:57:33 EST so crabby Today I can't help but feel extremely aggravated and everything seems to get on my nerves. I think this whole life style change is great and all, but I can't help but fight a battle in my head. In my heart I know I can do it and I can stick with this and strive to be a healthier person, but my head is letting me down. Frustration, stress, sadness has been taking over me the past couple of weeks. It'll be gone in no time, though. Just like everyone else, I have my days... <BR> <BR> Right now ... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 18:11:15 EST First entry I'm hoping this will help me stay on track for a goal that I want to achieve more than anything. <BR> <BR> I suppose I'll introduce myself first. My name is Alexandra, I'm 24 and I live in Detroit, Michigan. I have been overweight my whole life. I'm 4'11 so unfortunately I don't carry ANY excess weight very well, so to be more than 100 lbs over weight is a nightmare to me. My earliest recollection of being made fun of for my weight was when I was in the third grade. I was playing on the play... Mon, 16 Jul 2012 16:33:31 EST