CDGOLDILOCKS's SparkPeople Blog CDGOLDILOCKS's Blog on SparkPeople, home of free diet plans and a healthy living community Fall feelings, fall activities, fall goals... Fall is here! I love the fall. I love the crisp air, I love wearing warm clothes, snuggling up with a good cup of cocoa and some warm blankets. I love the smell of the lit fireplaces in my neighborhood. <BR> <BR> I am reminded of all I have to be grateful for. I am feeling MUCH better now that I am putting my passion and energy into POSITIVE people and POSITIVE goals. I am grateful to FINALLY be able to start appreciating my own worth. I have has some bad things happen to me in my life, but... Wed, 9 Nov 2011 16:47:44 EST Why getting some answers was so important to me. <BR> My last blog I posted about reconnecting with my daughter's father on Facebook. To sum it up, he and I split up when my daughter was 18 months old. He has not seen her since. According to his story, he got with a new woman who would not let him see or talk to my daughter or I. Also, he and this woman spent years drinking, drugging it up, and fighting. So while I was moving along a path to better my life and the life of my daughter, he was taking the road to self destruction. <BR> <BR> ... Fri, 4 Nov 2011 21:11:46 EST A facebook encounter <BR> I am still here. I have been busy with work and life these last few weeks. My weight is still slowly going down. I am down 20 pounds! Yay. My face is looking thinner and the clothes are fitting better. I am still juicing and eating raw veggies. I am drinking TONS of water, drinking herbal tea, and I work out when I can. I am glad to FINALLY be making some progress. <BR> <BR> As to this facebook encounter. Well, let me back up. When I was 18 years old, I met the guy I was sure was "the... Thu, 3 Nov 2011 15:49:27 EST An interesting conversation <BR> I don't know if I have discussed my job before in great detail, but without breaching any confidentialities, I often work with populations that are at high risk for abuse. Either they were children of abuse, or they are behaving in such ways that can potential cause harm to their children. This information is important for the purposes of my blog today. <BR> <BR> My supervisor and I were talking about a severely dysfunctional family I worked with. The mother of the children had been SE... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 15:53:42 EST Finally Friday, now if I could just focus..... I cannot tell you how happy I am to see this Friday come! No, I am not going on any sort of trip and No, I have no special event. I am just tired and so look forward to getting home from work and sitting under a blanket with a book and relaxing a bit. I have worked hard this week. <BR> <BR> Every morning for me starts at about 5:30 am. I could sleep until 6:00, but my husband insists on hitting the snooze alarm 5-6 times and letting it blare a bit before he finally shuts it off and gets out ... Fri, 21 Oct 2011 12:38:28 EST Juicing I got a couple of messages from people asking me about my juice fast. Specifically, what made me decide to do it, what "plan" I am following, and what recipes I am making. I will try and cover everything I can think of about juicing in this blog. <BR> <BR> Why am I choosing to juice fast? Well, nothing else was working. I did not want to give up. I have been working out a lot, but was seeing no changes. I had been patient long enough. After showing my food and workout logs to a coworker who ... Mon, 17 Oct 2011 18:32:34 EST Update I have been around SP, I just haven't been vocal. I have been reading and researching, finding ways to shake up my plan, end my cravings, manage my crazy life. I have had some progress in all of those areas, so I thought a little update was in order. <BR> <BR> I had been following Jamie Eason's Plan, which is a WONDERFUL plan. I just wasn't having results. No inches. No pounds, though the pounds really aren't important if something is changing. I have the plan 7 weeks without any changes. I ... Sat, 15 Oct 2011 21:53:00 EST Finding balance and fighting negativity It has been two weeks since my last blog. <BR> <BR> Where have I been? I have been here, just not so vocal or visible. <BR> <BR> I am feeling kind of blah lately. <BR> <BR> I have so many things to be grateful for.....and yet I am choosing to focus on the negative. I know why it is happening. I am tired and need a vacation. I feel unappreciated in my life. I am struggling to meet my weight loss goals. <BR> <BR> My daughter continues to give me a run for my money. I caught her and her fr... Sun, 25 Sep 2011 20:34:00 EST My 9-11 blog I know there will be many 9-11 blogs today. There should be. Writing is a great way to process grief and hurt feelings. Much healthier than a cookie. I wanted to post my blog about my memories of 9-11 and the sacrifices my family made for our wonderful country. <BR> <BR> Ten years ago, I was a 26 year old mother of a 5 year old. I was getting ready for my day, packing lunches, fixing my hair, all while having the news running. I remember when the news reported that something had happened to ... Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:16:17 EST Saturday ramblings. There is no easy way. I am so glad it is the weekend. <BR> <BR> I have done pretty well with my meal plans and workouts, despite the fact I have a cold that is trying to settle in my chest. I am taking TONS of vitamins, drinking TONS of water, and am trying to rest and avoid stress. I don't seem to have the tons of energy others seem to have on this plan, but I DO run most days from sun up until bed time so that might be the reason. I am just glad I am taking some ACTION to make myself healthier. It is much neede... Sat, 10 Sep 2011 17:02:48 EST Week one down! The good, the bad, and the snotty. Week one is complete. I thought I would take the time in this blog to highlight the good and bad of this week. <BR> <BR> The good: <BR> <BR> The evil scale says I am down 2.4 pounds this week. I am not relying too heavily on this, but it is still nice to see. <BR> I stayed on plan every day, with the exception of a bite of hubby's birthday cake yesterday. I am grateful I stopped at a bite! <BR> I got in every workout. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> The bad: <BR> <BR> I need to drink more water eve... Tue, 6 Sep 2011 13:51:04 EST A simple photo food blog and my plan to be organized. Starting something new or taking on a large project can be overwhelming. Whether it is starting a term paper back in my college days, tackling a messy room in my home, or starting a clean eating program when I have MINIMAL experience in clean eating, I am the type of person that needs a plan. <BR> <BR> I am a nurse by trade. Nurses are stereotyped as being extremely type A. My boss says I am an undercover A type, which she jokingly means as being a type A without wanting people to know I am ... Sun, 4 Sep 2011 12:58:06 EST Week summary, accomplishments and challenges. I LOVE Fridays! I only work 4 hours on Fridays, and it is nice to have an hour of quiet before running off to pick kids up. I finished reading "The Game of Thrones". I had seen the series on HBO, which is awesome, and the book is just like the series. I had not been able to read for awhile and it was nice to have a quiet house..... <BR> <BR> I am on Day 4 of Jamie Eason's plan. Aside from resuming drinking some coffee, I am following her plan without a problem. I am not hungry and my energy ... Fri, 2 Sep 2011 23:14:27 EST Day 2 and challenges Day 2 is complete. I just finished my last meal post workout. Again, with the meals all ready prepared, it isn't hard to reach for the meal you need to eat. <BR> <BR> My challenges? <BR> <BR> Well, I have a platinum crossbow which at the moment is broken. It has a replacement part, which is here but the hubby has yet to install it. He says he needs me to help him, which is hard because I have trouble taking the time to sit and hold stuff for him when I have dishes to wash, clothes to wash a... Wed, 31 Aug 2011 23:31:21 EST Day 1 down and other stuff <BR> Tuesday was Day 1 of the Jamie Eason 12 week fitness challenge. I had all my batch cooking ready and prepared, so knowing what to eat was easy. 6 small meals throughout the day makes it easy to not be hungry. I drank TONS of water. <BR> <BR> What I was not prepared for was how TIRED I would feel. I am a coffee drinker, but I can't drink the stuff without the creamer. I want to start the challenge off as clean as possible, because I would like to follow the program as intended. I am on... Wed, 31 Aug 2011 10:05:07 EST Batch cooking and preparing for 12 weeks with Jamie Eason (pics) I have recently subscribed to Oxygen magazine. In this great fitness mag, I discovered Jamie Eason. I began to learn about her fitness and diet plan. For a long time, I have often thought of trying it out, but the thought of batch cooking and eating every 3 hours, ST, etc made me fearful of trying. <BR> <BR> HOWEVER, seeing my lack of progress and my frustration (see my last blog and some of my others if you are interested), I decided to make a change. Interestingly enough, another sparker h... Tue, 30 Aug 2011 01:21:58 EST Is this rock bottom? Today is one of those days. I don't know why, but I feel the negative energy stirring inside me, eating away at my motivation and my spirit like poison. I know why it is happening. I am unhappy and loathing myself right now. <BR> <BR> I track every bite of food, then I half @$$ workouts by walking and doing low intensity stuff. Yeah, I burn calories, but apparently it isn't enough to make the body want to release fat.... <BR> <BR> I then work out more, then I don't track. I weigh myself, th... Sun, 28 Aug 2011 12:56:05 EST Workouts and unexpected encounters I have been on a mission to increase and vary my exercise routine. I NEED to get my body believing it can change into something wonderful. I have been jogging, pilates twice a week, zumba once a week. I wanted something more, so I found a new dance studio in my town. I found this cute place: <BR> <link><BR>html </link> <BR> They offer a free class before you join, so I had planned to do one called Body Blast Boot Camp. HOWEVER, I did not correctly look... Sat, 27 Aug 2011 18:27:10 EST Please Don't Judge Me <BR> If I don't have perfect form when doing my bicep curls. I might be sore from my pilates class. <BR> <BR> If I cling to the elliptical because I am a clutz and have poor balance. <BR> <BR> If I trot along ungracefully on the treadmill. <BR> <BR> If I run slowly along the road as you drive by me in your air conditioned car. <BR> <BR> If I can't hold my plank as long as you can. <BR> <BR> If I don't do the moves right in the aerobics class. <BR> <BR> Please don't judge me, because I ... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 14:56:22 EST Turn that frown upside down! <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Never mind the "normal" every day stressors-- work, chores, errands, cooking, grocery shopping, shuttling kids, laundry, meal planning.......but there are "new" stressors. <BR> <BR> My husband got offered a new job, which if all things check out and actually starts working at this place, the benefits to our family will be HUGE. We can get out of debt, take a vacati... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 00:34:08 EST My hurt locker and bringing it along for the journey <BR> I mention my hurt locker a lot. <BR> <BR> I didn't make up the term. It has been a long time military term. To put it in context, when someone was in trouble, it was said they were going to be taken out or put in to the hurt locker. <BR> <BR> There was also a very good movie called the Hurt Locker. It was a military movie made about a guy who would disarm bombs in Iraq. He had a box that he would put bomb parts in that he disarmed or that had almost killed him. The director of the fi... Sat, 20 Aug 2011 09:48:23 EST I am going to create my own biggest loser ranch. Some days I really do wish I could just go to a weight loss ranch or a retreat. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I think the reason I have watched these "loser" shows because I envy the way they can just drop everything and go and work on themselves. <BR> <BR> They get chefs, trainers, therapists. They get ENDLESS time to meal plan, to work out, to "reflect". <BR> <BR> What brought this up for me today? <BR> <BR> Well, it's Friday, ... Fri, 19 Aug 2011 20:27:02 EST I think I have found my recipe for SUCCESS. (FINALLY) Jeez. Finally. 3 pounds!!! <BR> <BR> If you are interested in my whining, please see the last month's worth of blogs LOL. I have REALLY struggled with figuring out the right balance for me. <BR> <BR> I *think* I might have found something that works for *me* and my life so that I can finally start losing pounds. <BR> <BR> Here is my list of things that have really helped me this week: <BR> <BR> 1.Planning out my next day's meals the night before. I used to roll my eyes when successful peo... Thu, 18 Aug 2011 12:08:53 EST :( I am kind of in a funk. <BR> <BR> I woke up with my hands and feet swollen. Not sure what is up with my body lately. <BR> <BR> I haven't been tracking my food on here, but I know I am eating less than I am burning. I have started tracking again today. <BR> <BR> I am STILL not losing weight, even though I have added two pilates classes (which include a LOT of ST) AND a zumba class on top of what I do on my own. <BR> <BR> I am not talking to my best friend, who it turns out is quite the man... Sun, 14 Aug 2011 15:07:22 EST I don't know what to call this one The past week has been eventful. Work has filled much of my days as always. I have been gone almost every weekend for the past month, and it showed around my house. I have been slowly working on getting it back in shape. It doesn't take long for laundry, dust, and dishes to pile up. My husband IS finally starting to see that I am much more pleasant when he helps me out, so he has been pitching in. It does make a difference. <BR> <BR> I went out of town last weekend to visit family and to att... Wed, 10 Aug 2011 10:21:05 EST Renewed commitment I have struggled to make progress in the last month. Up and down, up and down. I have tried so many things to get things going. Decreasing calories. Increasing calories. You name it. It has been so frustrating. <BR> <BR> I decided to go and talk to our registered dietician at work. Not only is she knowledgeable, but she has lost weight and kept it off. A bonus is that she is kind and not judgmental, but direct. <BR> <BR> She and I talked about my eating and exercise plan. It didn't take he... Wed, 3 Aug 2011 23:16:02 EST Weekend in Review <BR> I had a busy weekend. We packed up our kids and took off to San Francisco. <BR> San Francisco is about 4 1/2 hours from my house, so that was a lot of sitting. We got out a few times and stretched. We packed some snacks for the road, which is better than fast food. <BR> <BR> When we got there, we walked along the Pier area. We took the Rocketboat ride along the bay from Pier 39. The kids had a blast. I ate a delicious fish sandwich at a restaurant at the Pier. Did LOTS of walking. Che... Mon, 1 Aug 2011 14:43:10 EST I just felt like running "Running long and hard is an ideal antidepressant, since it's hard to run and feel sorry for yourself at the same time. Also, there are those hours of clearheadedness that follow a long run." <BR> -Monte Davis <BR> <BR> I was having a pity party week. I have been very whiny about the fact that the pounds are not melting off of me like butter. I have come to the end of the week and realized that even I am tired of hearing myself whine. So, I decided to do something different today. I got ou... Sat, 30 Jul 2011 00:12:16 EST The frustrating journey I didn't expect this to be easy. Honestly, I didn't. I knew I would have ups and downs. <BR> <BR> I have turned down junk food, cakes, pies, cheesecake. <BR> <BR> I have chosen to get up and move when I am tired after a long day and just want to veg out in front of the tv. <BR> <BR> I have celebrated my non scale victories: I can breathe better, as my asthma is better controlled, I feel more emotionally well and balanced, my job is very busy, but I am on top of the work asked of me. <BR> ... Tue, 26 Jul 2011 14:06:06 EST Saturday summary <BR> Saturday was another good but busy day. I spent a few hours cleaning/picking up the house. Watered the plants. Did some laundry. Then my son and I got ready to head over to my friend's son's birthday party. <BR> <BR> I love my friend, but she told me her friend's son wanted airsoft guns and supplies for his birthday. I didn't really know what those were, and in honesty I didn't want to buy him stuff that could hurt himself or others so I just gave the boy cash so his mom can take him s... Sun, 24 Jul 2011 12:50:47 EST Friday fair pics and some self talk <BR> Yesterday was Friday. Yay! I LOVE Fridays. Short work day for me, and the prospect of a whole weekend of fun sounds great. <BR> <BR> Last night, I took a suburban full of teens along with my son to our county's fair. They had such a great time. They walked around, ate, rode the rides, saw animals, did their thing. It was fun for me to watch their enjoyment. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <img src=" Sat, 23 Jul 2011 14:18:35 EST A change in plans I have been trying to tweak and adjust my nutrition plan to aid not only in my weight loss but just to ensure I am being healthy. <BR> <BR> I have found myself quite active these days, which not only feels great, but is going to help me build that lean muscle mass to help me look better too. <BR> <BR> My weight loss has been quite sporatic. I try not to worry about it, but I was afraid something was wrong with what I was doing. After talking with some dieticians, doing some of my own readin... Fri, 22 Jul 2011 14:00:00 EST Insecure and unsure I am at this point where I am feeling a bit insecure and unsure with my weight loss. My tuesday weigh in showed a one pound gain. I know a pound could be all KINDS of things....but I am still worried. <BR> <BR> My food log shows that my calories are within the 1200 to 1500 calorie range most days, and my logs are accurate. I make most of my own food and I weigh every ingredient on a digital scale. <BR> <BR> I wear a bodybugg that logs my exercise and activity. I ran a report for the past 30... Thu, 21 Jul 2011 00:15:47 EST Exercising my demons Today didn't start out a bad day. I got up tired, then weighed myself. Eeek. Up a pound. Calories in/calories out can't explain it. I averaged about 1500 calories a day in and 2700 calories out. I shake it off and continue my day. <BR> <BR> Work, work, work.... Blah, blah, blah. <BR> <BR> By the time I get home, I am feeling a bit like this.... <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> or this <BR> <BR> <img src="http://photos-ak.sparkpeop... Tue, 19 Jul 2011 23:04:01 EST A little catch up I have been trying to keep up some good habits, and blogging/keeping a diary is one of them. I missed Sunday somehow in the busy-ness of my weekend, and now Monday is almost over. Being active sure makes the days fly by! <BR> <BR> Saturday night, I took the kids to a local drive in for a double feature. Drive ins are hard to come by in some parts of the country, but I am fortunate that I have TWO drive ins to choose from within a 20 minute drive of my home. We saw Transformers and Bad Teache... Mon, 18 Jul 2011 22:22:57 EST Find your spark in your collage. I did! Picture Do you ever feel like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again? <BR> <BR> Do you know that there's still a chance for you, cause there's a spark in you? <BR> <BR> You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine...... <BR> <BR> I love this song. Katy Perry's "Firework". To me, the song is about finding purpose and not being afraid to shine. <BR> <BR> I am trying to find purpose, trying to find what brings me joy. And for the first time in my life, enjoying getting... Sat, 16 Jul 2011 16:52:58 EST Get your ZUMBA on! Links included.... I don't know about you, but there are some days where going for a jog doesn't work for me. It may be too hot, I have kid issues, or I am simply bored of the same old thing. I don't have a gym membership, as they are too expensive and I don't tend to go if I did have a membership. With the internet making working out and doing almost anything easier really, it is really easy to find variety. <BR> <BR> Today's workout: ZUMBA. <BR> <BR> Back in the days when I HAD a membership, ZUMBA was hands... Fri, 15 Jul 2011 18:19:21 EST Why cooking has been a struggle for me. <BR> I am at a point in my weight loss journey where I now want to begin cooking healthy meals for my family on a regular basis. For some people, this would be easy, natural. For me, not so much. I come from a multi generation food issue family. <BR> <BR> Both sets of my parents grew up in poverty. My dad tells of stories of wearing shirts made from old flour sacks. He was one of 10 children, and he spent many nights hungry. My mother came from a much smaller family, but the story was simil... Thu, 14 Jul 2011 20:06:22 EST Motivation <BR> Motivation is the fuel that drives us toward what it is we seek. It is what keeps us going when we don't feel like continuing. It is the FIRE that keeps propelling us forward on this journey. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> This is what I tell myself when my life keeps getting in the way. My job isn't going to change any time soon. I am going to be doing more work for the same pay for the foreseeable future. I am not going to l... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:16:12 EST Tell me WHY again? Food tracking WHY? I think that is one of the most important questions to ask. Why is what motivates us to do ANYTHING on this earth. And in all honesty, when a person looks at the behaviors we tend to do without question on a daily basis, we have a clear and reasonable reason WHY we do the things we do. <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Think about the things we do on a daily basis: <BR> <BR> Brushing our teeth <em>334</em> <BR> Bathing <BR> Goin... Tue, 12 Jul 2011 13:06:54 EST A hard look. I spent some time before this past week looking over my food logs, my bodybugg results. I couldn't figure out why the calories in/ calories out thing wasn't working. <BR> <BR> I had CLEAR deficits, and yet my weight would tick up and down, the same 1-2 pounds week after week. I cannot tell you the level of fear, frustration, anxiety this caused me. Was my body unable to shed the pounds that ail me? <BR> <BR> I had an honest look at my diet. Lots of processed foods, foods high in carbohydr... Mon, 11 Jul 2011 21:55:36 EST You ARE an addict, but it is NOT your fault.... If you are fat like me, chances are you have been labelled. We all know it. Society thinks we have no self control, that we are gluttons. The fashion industry says we are unworthy of pretty, well designed clothing. Our doctors succinctly label us "non-compliant" in our charts. <BR> <BR> I mean, how HARD is it to control the food we put in our mouths? <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> Messages like this have FILLED me with anguish, sel... Sat, 9 Jul 2011 14:33:34 EST Fake food When I weighed myself June 30th and vowed to put my scale away for a month, I vowed to do something else different as well. <BR> <BR> I decided to try and eat more "natural" foods. Sounds simple enough right? Not so much. <BR> <BR> When I was around 15 years old, I joined a weight loss program where I ate boxed meals. It thought it worked REALLY well. I learned portion control. I got to see what combinations of foods I SHOULD be eating. In all honesty though, that was ALL it did for me. <BR... Fri, 8 Jul 2011 15:45:43 EST Please show your support for my July goals and a scale rant I have been working hard toward my goals. I have been burning THOUSANDS of calories. This past 4th of July weekend, I burned over 3000 calories a day doing things I LOVE with people I LOVE. To climb on the scale and cry today over the number today is SABOTAGING what I want to be, and that is healthy. <BR> <BR> I don't know why the scale isn't moving in the downward direction as it should be. I can honestly say that based on calories in/calories out, it should be...and quite steadily I might ... Tue, 5 Jul 2011 12:38:39 EST Afterburn <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I have heard of the term afterburn, knew that both cardio and strength training can both cause afterburn. What I did not know or believe was how MUCH afterburn I would have. <BR> <BR> On the two different days I did ST while using my bodybugg, I burned 200 extra calories over a 12 hour period. Not bad, 200 bonus calories burned. You could actually see the increase in my baseline burn quite clearly. Quite the moti... Thu, 30 Jun 2011 17:12:22 EST Part venting, part self talk, definitely frazzled I have had another busy week. <BR> <BR> My husband went to the V.A. clinic to get his shoulder injury examined. He has had an injury for YEARS to his left shoulder that has gotten progressively worse with time. He refused care for it until I made him go to our primary doctor, who told him he should get it looked at throught the Vet's clinic. They took some x-rays and recommended PT. More to follow. <BR> <BR> My daughter had another dentist appointment. YAY, it was soooo fun. We have now rea... Fri, 24 Jun 2011 23:51:23 EST Pep talk needed <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> I am a strong woman. I work hard. I give all I have to give every day. So much so that I think my strength is taken for granted. The people around me slack off, knowing I will carry the load. And most days I do. <BR> <BR> Today is not that day. I am tired, stressed, overworked. My husband has been inspired by my hard work and persistance at weight loss, so he is going to "help" me out by trying to get me to ... Wed, 22 Jun 2011 00:09:00 EST Non Scale Victories (NSV) are lame At least, I USED to think that. <BR> <BR> I used to think that all that mattered was that number on the scale. I mean, can you blame me? When we watch weight loss shows, they don't show inches lost or body fat percentage lost. People are voted off shows if that number doesn't budge. <BR> <BR> That scale was the honest and impartial judge of my efforts. It is all about calories in/calories out right? So, if the scale says NO, then I must not have worked hard enough been GOOD enough. I must ... Mon, 20 Jun 2011 11:57:14 EST A long week with smiles, tears, pictures.... It has been a busy week. Work all week, running errands, celebrated my anniversary, two birthdays, and had a HUGE marital meltdown. Began the process of organizing the tiny space I call home. Proudly, I did all of this while still eating within my points AND doing some sort of thoughtful activty every day. <BR> <BR> Monday was my mom's birthday. She and I have had a rocky relationship over the years. I think she means well, it is just that she is so critical and negative that I literally dre... Sun, 19 Jun 2011 12:24:10 EST My weekend and tomorrow's weigh in My weekend was fabulous overall. I say overall because there was some "drama" that had to be worked out with a group of friends that I grew up with. Let's just say it involved facebook flirting, text messaging, and people deleting and blocking one another. An no, these weren't teenagers. These are 30 and 40 somethings. I personally was not part of the drama. I was asked to "take a side" and I politely said "no thank you" and proceeded to stay OFF Facebook this weekend. I don't have time for a... Mon, 13 Jun 2011 10:31:00 EST